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Things had been tense after what happened at the cookout. While none of the Brave Brigade members were especially close with the boy they were all concerned over his wellbeing. Many of them had asked Robbie at work if his son was okay, who after assuring them he was told them to focus on their jobs and not his son. Some of the heroes, the ones closer to Robbie, had visited in the days after the incident to check up on the boy and bring him gifts. He hadn't said much during their visits, just thanked them quietly while staring at them with eyes that were much too sad to belong to a boy who was only nine.
Vitalia had been the one to visit the most. Her excuse was that she wanted to make sure there were no ill-effects caused by her healing powers; there wasn't, there never was. Still, Robbie allowed it as she was the only one who could get him to talk. Unfortunately for Robert she wasn't able to reattach the missing part of his ear as the firepower of the mech suit left nothing to reattach. She was able to heal around it, though, and fix his dislocated arm. Because of how young and small he was she couldn't heal it fully unless she wanted to overload him with her powers, but she was able to speed up the healing process by some months, leaving only some soreness and the physical therapy aspect of it left.
As for Chase, things had been tense between him and Robert. Robert hadn't been speaking to him which Chase didn't find odd at first since he hadn't really been speaking to anybody, but he noticed that the boy wouldn't even look at him either. He always had his head turned away with that sad, sad look on his face--the one where it was obvious he wanted to cry but was holding it in; or was simply too numb to do so. He tried softer approaches at first, thinking he needed something comforting after how his father handled things back in the shed, but it didn't work. He tried bringing him things he knew would cheer Robert up--twinkies, his book copies of Holes and The Secret Of The Old Clock, he even tried to entice him by letting him watch movies his father banned because he was too young. To his chagrin none of it had worked.
It was while he was going to try a new approach that Robbie stopped him with a hand to his chest, standing in front of Robert's closed door like a bouncer.
"He doesn't want to see you right now, Chase."
Chase blinked, taken aback. "...What?"
Robbie sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Fuck, I don't know what's up with him but he's being difficult. Maybe a break will do you both some good. You especially, you've been falling behind, Chase."
"Wh- but Robbie, I'm his-" the word brother nearly made it past Chase's lips before he sighed in an attempt to compose himself. "I'm the one who takes care of him. Are you sure he... that this is what he wants?"
Robbie moved so he was standing next to Chase and slung his arm around the teen's shoulders. He led them past Robert's room and down the stairs through the house to the door.
"I don't know what the kid's deal is, okay? He'll go back to normal at some point but for now just focus on your hero work, okay? Vitalia can watch over him."
Chase looked at Robbie with a worried expression, with puppy eyes similar to the ones Robert would pull whenever his dad would go out to be Mecha Man, or when Chase would have to go home after babysitting him.
"Are you sure about this? I mean... I'm the closest one to him, maybe if I gave it another shot, or, or, tried a different approach I-"
"Chase," Robbie said, using the same firm tone he'd use to stop Robert from complaining. "The kid will be fine. He's all healed up, all he's doing now is just sulking around. Give him a day or two and he'll get over it."
"And if he doesn't?" Chase asked.
Robbie laughed, "He'll have to. Now get out there and be a hero, Track Star."
Chase sighed. Realizing there was no way around it, he reluctantly sped off with a pit in his stomach.
That night Chase tossed and turned in his bed, unable to sleep. All he could think about was the cookout incident.
Chase was fast, but there was only so much he could do. He was able to save Robert, thank god, but not without some damage to his ear and arm. He remembers how tightly the boy clung to him when they thought the mech suit was going to kill them. He remembers clutching Robert tighter, keeping his trembling frame in a protective hold and not wanting to let go. Robert didn't want to let go either, and likely wouldn't of had Robbie not ordered him to. When Robbie had told his son to get up Chase wanted to protest but had been stopped by the sad but resigned look on the kid's face. He watched the boy stumble to his feet and it took everything in Chase to not help him up.
That's what it was, then. Robert hated him.
Immediately his brain tried shutting it down. That's stupid, he said. But he couldn't shake off the doubts that seeped into his thoughts. What was wrong with him? He had Robert right there in his arms, weeping and in pain, and he just let him be bossed around like that by his father? He should've gotten up and ran to a hospital or Vitalia or just anyone instead of watching it unfold. Watching like he couldn't do something when he could.
Now that the spiral had started Chase couldn't stop it. He could only toss and turn as his self-loathing increased.
He had failed him, just like every other adult in Robert's life. He allowed this... plan Robbie has for him to play out like all the other heroes around him who stood and watched.
Chase had felt helpless a number of times before, it came with the territory of being a hero. This brand of helplessness, however, was new to him. He saved Robert, he's the reason the kid is still alive and breathing today. So why does the feeling persist? Not a day goes by where he doesn't give it his all, both as Chase and Track Star. Why wasn't that enough? What more could he do? Was there anything he could do?
Hours--or maybe just minutes--later exhaustion claimed him, and Chase fell into a restless sleep feeling lost.
Eventually, Chase was able to see Robert again. Not by the kid's choice, of course; Robbie had gotten tired of Vitalia being off the field for so long that he gave babysitting duty back to Chase. There were so many things he wanted to say to Robert but refrained from doing so he didn't overwhelm the kid, instead letting Robert make the first move.
As it turned out, that move was to ignore him. For the first hour of Chase's shift they sat there not talking to each other in the living room, with Robert once again not looking at him but staring out the window instead. Chase could see the kid sneak glances at him via his reflection as an increasingly troubled look grew on his face. Chase tried to make himself non-threatening and kept his nose buried in comic after comic to ease the growing tension to no avail. Eventually Robert stood up, ramrod straight, to announce he was going to his room. Chase watched the boy scurry off before he had the chance to reply, muttering a weak okay before going back to his comic, guilt pooling in his stomach and unable to focus on the pages in front of him.
The days that followed showed little improvement. Eventually Robert did start speaking again, though only to answer Chase's questions on what he wanted for dinner or if he'd like to do anything. He still refused to look at him, not for more than a few seconds before he got that same look on his face and retreated to his room for the rest of the day. Chase had done his best to make Robert happy again. Offering to play games with him Robbie never had time for, buying him enough junk food that would for a boy his age and size make him sick, trying to get the boy to come out of the house by taking him to all his favorite spots.
Some of them seemed to work, but the minute Robert showed any signs of happiness--his eyes widening, a grin appearing, sometimes even a laugh--it vanished as soon as it came. Chase had tried asking Robbie about it, had asked the man to talk to his son and find out what was wrong so they could go back to normal. But Robbie had brushed it off once more in a way that was sickeningly unsurprising to Chase.
A few more days and Chase's patience ran thin. He tried a soft approach, he tried bribery, he even tried to act like things were back to normal, none of it worked and it frustrated him to no end. Because it wasn't just his relationship with Robert that was affected but his sleep too. He can't remember the last time he got a good night's sleep--except he can, because it was before all of this. It was impacting his performance as Track Star, too, something the other Brave Brigade heroes noticed and asked him about, concerned.
Finally, he decided one day he was going to take a more direct approach. They had been in the living room once more with Robert brooding as usual, only this time when he announced he was going to his room Chase stopped him.
He grabbed hold of Robert's wrist, his grip gentle enough it wouldn't hurt but firm enough that the boy couldn't get out of it. "What's going on with you?"
Robert tried to pull away. "Let me go, Chase."
"Uh-uh. You've been weird for weeks, we're talking about this, man."
Robert didn't look at him, he was too busy struggling against the teen's grip, trying to pry his fingers off his skinny wrist. "Let me go!" He said once more only this time louder.
"Look, I'm worried about you, okay? I just wanna know what's going on so I can help you. I- you're... you're like my brother, okay? I want you to be alright, I don't wanna see you hurting like this," Chase admitted.
Suddenly Robert looked up at him. There were tears streaming down his face with a dejected look no different from the one he had in the shed on that day. Seeing it again stunned Chase enough for him to loosen his grip, which caused the still struggling Robert to stumble back and onto the ground, though he maintained eye contact with Chase.
"I know you hate me," he said with a warbly tone, bottom lip quivering.
"What?" Chase asked, dumbfounded.
Robert took advantage of Chase's confusion and used it to scramble to his feet and up the staircase into his bedroom, where he quickly locked the door. Chase stood there for another moment in his shocked stupor before he snapped out of it, and hurried up the stairs until he was in front of Robert's door.
Quietly he said, "I'm sorry I dropped you. Are you okay?"
There was no reply from the other side of the door aside from light sniffles. Chase let out a sigh, and tried to reel his mind back in.
"I just wanna talk, okay? Please let me in, Robert. Please," Chase pleaded with him, forehead resting on the lacquered door.
A moment of silence, followed by shuffling and the click of the door unlocking, but Chase waited until Robert gave him the okay before opening it and closing it behind him. The boy stood there, gripping his arms in an attempt to comfort himself. He actually had a stuffed animal he liked to hold--something Chase had found out one night while babysitting him--but denied having. He claimed he was too old for it now and in his attempt to seem serious had tried to get rid of the thing by stuffing it away in his closet. Judging by the sideways glances he gave the door though, it was obvious Robert wished he had it right now.
Robert's crying had stopped too but it was obvious the boy was barely holding it together, his cheeks still wet and shiny from his tears. It wasn't unusual for kids his age to cry a lot, but what was unusual was how he went about it. Robert wasn't the first kid Chase had ever babysat but he had become the only one since becoming Track Star; he had adult responsibilities now and Robbie was the only one who could pay him enough to justify spending as much time as he did out of work. When kids Robert's age would cry they'd lean into it, they'd have big tantrums and cling to their parents or someone close for comfort.
Robert never did any of that. He'd hold in his tears until his body was shaking from the force of his restraint, till his eyes began to burn from how long he held them open so no tears would shed, till the insides of his cheeks were swollen from how hard he bit them. Chase was lucky that Robert trusted him enough to shed some tears in front of him, but his true breakdowns? He hid those from everyone. From Chase, from Robbie, from the world. And Chase knew why he did it, his mind flashing back to every instance of Robbie showing his son tough love, telling him he needs to be strong because the real world won't hold his hand. The real reason, because you need to be Mecha Man, going unsaid but not unrecognized.
It hurt Chase to see his little brother this way, and it hurt worse knowing he couldn't fix things the way he wanted. All he could do now was his best and hope--maybe even pray despite not inheriting the religiousness from his mother's side--that what he could do would be enough.
"What makes you think I hate you?" Chase asked Robert in a soft voice, forcing out the waver that tried to make itself known.
Robert looked at him with a pout, squeezing his arms so hard that his fingers turned white. He took a steadying breath before saying, "Why wouldn't you?"
Chase huffed through his nose, "Why would I?"
"Because..." Robert mumbled, looking off to the side.
"Because...?" Chase tried, and huffed again when Robert didn't make an attempt to repeat himself. "C'mon, don't make me play the guessing game."
Robert sniffled and quickly rubbed his eyes to stamp out any new tears that threatened to spill. "Because I almost got you killed."
Chase couldn't stop the scoff he let out, "What? You know that's some bullshit." He couldn't stop the cursing either, but Chase was young enough to know he also swore at Robert's age and that he wasn't saying anything the kid hadn't heard.
Besides, the two had an agreement where Robert wouldn't rat Chase out if Chase let him curse occasionally and within reason. Robert wouldn't rat him out anyways, but it was fun to pretend like they were in control of things. The kid didn't curse a lot even with the agreement, only saying it once in a blue moon and then looking up at Chase to see if he did it right, as if Chase was teaching him something productive and not how to have an effective potty mouth.
"If my d-dad..." Robert began, then stopped himself with an angry look at the stutter. "If my dad hadn't gotten there to- to deactivate it the suit would've..." he trailed off, not finishing his sentence in an attempt to quell his emotions.
Chase was silent. He had been so focused on Robert that he hadn't considered his own wellbeing. The kid was half right; Robbie's voice was the only one entered into the suit's recognition. If he were just a few seconds behind the suit likely would've killed or gravely injured them both. Why was that only just hitting him? Chase didn't regret saving Robert--not a thing in the world could make him regret that--but had he really dove in without a second thought? Of course he did, that's what heroes do. They take risks, they put their lives on the line, and they ignore the dark pit in their stomach that forms when they think about it too much.
Robert took his silence as an answer, "See? You know it's true."
Chase snapped himself out of his thoughts, "Nah, you're wrong. What happened wasn't your fault."
"I triggered my dad's suit," Robert retorted.
"You were sad, you weren't trying to activate it."
"I wasn't sad," Robert said, rubbing his eyes once more.
"Sure you weren't," Chase said, fighting a smirk.
Robert changed the subject, "You were on the ground, you couldn't run away."
"I would've thought of something," Chase replied.
"Before or after it killed us?" Robert asked.
Chase took a deep breath. He had to be delicate, or at least thoughtful while handling this, something the kid's snark made difficult at times. "Let's say it was your fault, so what? I don't hate you, and if I knew what happened back then I still would've ran in to save you."
"Maybe you shouldn't have..." Robert whispered so low Chase wasn't sure he heard it. He hoped he didn't hear it.
A lump formed in his throat and his eyes widened as he stared at Robert, who was racked with small tremors as he tried to hide his surging emotions.
"Don't say that," Chase managed to get out.
"Why not? If you weren't there then- then you wouldn't have gotten hurt a-and my dad would... would pay attention to me." Robert was crying now, the dam having finally burst.
In an instant Robert found himself in a hug from Chase, his arms wrapped around him protectively not unlike that day in the shed; only this time there was no one to tell him to get up. Robert hugged back as best as he could, burying his face into Chase's shirt as the teen situated them so he was sitting down with Robert in his lap. He rocked them back and forth with one hand carding through Robert's hair, whispering encouragements throughout it. Robert's body shook from the force of his sobs and each gasping breath he took between them as he struggled with his emotions. He was almost lightheaded from it, but Chase holding him and comforting him helped ground Robert.
"You have to know what you said isn't true. Some part of you, even if it's deep down, has to know that's not true. Please tell me you know this, Robert."
Robert didn't say anything for a few moments as he continued to cry and gasp in Chase's hold. Eventually he managed to get out a slight nod that ended up smearing his tears into Chase's shirt, not that the older boy seemed to mind. Truthfully, Robert couldn't think about much right now, his mind sluggish. But the desperation in Chase's voice told Robert he needed this, needed to know it was true. If it was, Robert didn't know, but he nodded anyway. Maybe the fact that he considered it was proof that it was real, or maybe he was trying to make Chase not worry.
"Good, good," Chase said, relieved. "Because you're like my brother, and I don't want to see you sad like this."
"Do... do you m-mean that?" Robert asked, peeking up at the older boy.
Chase smiled down at him and held him tighter, "Of course I do."
Eventually Robert's sobs quieted down, his breathing going back to normal until it hit a slow, relaxed pace and he went limp in Chase's arms. He cried himself to sleep, Chase realized with a slight frown on his face. Chase didn't want to wake him but he wasn't ready to let go of the boy just yet either, so with some maneuvering he laid himself on the floor--something he figured he would regret later--with Robert lying on top of him. The hand that had been carding through Robert's hair felt around the notch in the boy's ear which caused Chase's frown to deepen.
In his sleep the boy snuggled closer, and Chase held him as he contemplated everything that had been said until sleep managed to claim him too.
"Chase," a voice said in a quiet tone from above him, followed by a foot gently nudging his side.
Chase opened his eyes blearily, looking around the room as sleep muddled his senses. The first thing he noticed is that the room was much darker now. None of the lights were on but the moonlight from outside streamed in and illuminated the room enough for him to be able to see, meaning he couldn't have fallen asleep for too long. Chase eventually looked up at who had spoken to him and was met with Robbie, who stood waiting with a look of indifference.
"Your job's done, your dad is waiting for you at home," he spoke again, voice still quiet.
"Oh... okay," Chase responded dumbly, still somewhat disoriented.
"Need me to move the kid?" Robbie asked.
Chase looked down at his chest and saw Robert still there where he left him, an almost unfamiliar look of peace on his face. He seemed content where he was curled up on Chase, basking in their shared body warmth. The weight on top of Chase was almost comforting in a way.
Chase shook his head, "I got it."
He was careful to collect the boy in his arms, not wanting to wake him up. Sitting up caused a sharp pain to flare up in his back--the regret began settling in--but he ignored it as he managed to get to his feet and hand the boy off to Robbie, who seemed dwarfed in the older man's arms. Chase stretched his aching back as he watched Robbie bring Robert over to his bed and tuck him in, a conflicted look crossing his face briefly before smoothing out into his previous expression.
The two then made their way out of the house and stopped at the front door.
"You know..." Chase started, which made Robbie glance up at him from where he was rifling through his wallet for Chase's babysitting money. "I think you should talk with Robert."
A slight laugh escaped Robbie, "Talk with him?"
"He... has a lot on his mind, Robbie. Like, a lot. Some serious stuff, man, I'm worried."
"The kid's tough, he'll be fine," Robbie brushed it off.
Chase shook his head, "Nah man, I'm serious."
Robbie handed him his money, "What was it he said that was so concerning?"
"Well... I don't think it's my place to say, but-" Chase flustered. As important as it was that Robbie knew what was going on, he didn't know what would happen afterwards. If it would ruin his relationship with Robert and get him taken off babysitting duty permanently. If he'd get to see the kid again outside of Brave Brigade cookouts.
A hand placed itself on his shoulder, "Listen, kid. I'm glad you're worried about him, but you're not his dad. Let me handle this my way, alright?"
And suddenly, Chase was lost for words, unsure of how to proceed. A million different scenarios passed through his mind on how this could end with very few of them--the less realistic ones--being pleasant. All he could do was nod.
"Goodnight, kid. Say hi to your dad for me," Robbie waved him goodbye before shutting the door.
Chase found himself in another restless night, tossing and turning in his bed, head full of so many thoughts they were leaking from his ears.
He hoped he made the right choice.