Chapter Text
Sam slams the gates on Hell, Cas slams the pearly gates of Heaven, and he'd like to slam a half a dozen shots of whiskey and sleep for a few years. But he can't because Sam's bleeding out of his eyes in the passenger seat of the impala and the nearest hospital is twenty minutes away and that's twenty minutes too many.
He floors it. What else can he do?
---
They make the hospital in fifteen.
He spins a tale about workplace accidents. Which is true. Technically. No one believes him because the two of them look like they've walked in off the street from a biker gang war.
Of course they take Sam in anyway. Maybe the hospital staff will phone the cops later, maybe they won't. Bridges and crossing. He'll deal with it if he has to.
They take Sam which means he's stuck in the waiting room drinking vending machine coffee until his whole body is vibrating and he's run out of change. Then he's stuck waiting as he crashes from all the caffeine and it finally hits him. If Sam dies that's it. He's the last man standing. He'll be alone.
He leans forward and puts his head in his hands. Cas is gone, Sam is dying, and he's waiting. The heroes got the job done now he has to sit and wait.
He can't help but laugh. Even if he wanted to, a demon deal is out of the question because they finally did something right for a change. Hell's closed for business. They finally came out on top and he's waiting alone.
He phones Kevin.
Kevin sounds drunk. He mutters something that sounds like sorry and starts talking about ancient cuneiform and Dean can't really deal with that right now so he hangs up on Kevin.
He phones Charlie and doesn't get an answer.
The lady beside him asks if he has change for the vending machine. He tells her if he had change for the vending machine he'd be pounding back watery coffee with the best of them.
A doctor comes out into the waiting room. Dean's heart clenches. The doctor heads over to a man, a boy, and a baby. Dean can't take his eyes off them. The whole scene is both familiar and foreign. He knows this. He knows waiting with Dad and holding a baby and hoping that Mom is okay even as the house burns down in front of his eyes. He knows waiting. He knows waiting and getting bad news.
He can't hear the doctor and he can't tell if the tears and hugging are from relief or pain. He watches the family leave through a different set of doors.
Then it's back to waiting.
---
He phones Jody. She tells him she's coming. Dean doesn't know what to think about that.
---
Four hours later Sam is still in surgery.
He phones Cas.
Which is probably a bad idea because he knows Cas won't be picking up any time soon— ever again.
He makes a sound like a wounded animal when the call goes to voice mail and Cas tries to understand why he needs to explain the concept of leaving a message when everyone knows that's the purpose of voice mail. It's Cas's voice stuck in an eternal effort to understand the intricacies of humans.
"Hey, Cas, you probably won't get this but, uh, if you do...." Dean rubs his knuckles into his eyes to force back tears. "...I dunno...just...thanks."
He hangs up. Maybe the cell reception is good in Heaven.
---
Jody shows up. She brings coffee, water, sandwiches, and a blanket. Dean grabs the coffee. If he eats right now he'll probably puke. He's been waiting all day ‒ his whole life ‒ and that's too damn long.
Jody makes him eat anyway. He doesn't puke but the exhaustion finally hits him.
---
"Dean...Dean, the doctor is here."
Dean blinks awake. He sits up. A blanket falls off him. He looks around. Jody is sitting beside him. She has a gentle hand on his arm. She gives him a supportive squeeze and looks up at the doctor.
He stands because this isn't the kind of thing he likes taking siting down.
"Mr. Bond, your brother is stable for the time being," the doctor says.
This is the part where people breathe easier but Dean knows better. If the doctor had good news he'd be a lot more forthcoming.
"But."
And there it fucking is.
"He's not out of the woods yet. We've done all we could. It's up to your brother now to fight," the doctor says as if it's a rehearsed speech- maybe it is. "All we can do now is wait."
He fucking hates waiting.
"Yeah," Dean says, nodding and keeping it together which is a fucking miracle as far as he's concerned. "Can I see him?"
"Not yet," the doctor says. "A nurse will tell you when he's ready for visitors."
The doctor says something about praying - which Dean snorts at - before he leaves.
Jody touches his arm again. "This is good, Dean. We both know Sam's a fighter."
"Yeah," Dean says mechanically.
Jody sits him down and tosses the blanket around him again. She puts a bottle of water in one hand and a sandwich in the other and if he didn't move them to his mouth on his own she probably would have done that for him too.
It's strange. He doesn't really remember someone taking care of him anymore. He tells himself he does but the last time someone took care of him he was four and now he's thirty four. He knows Mom used to make him soup and Dad used to check his closet for monsters ‒ the irony is not lost on him ‒ but they feel more like remembering something he read in a book than like something that happened to him.
"It's gonna be fine, Dean," Jody says. "Sam will pull through."
Dean takes a bite of the sandwich and keeps his eyes on the floor. He doesn't really remember being taken care of but he's lost count of the times people have lied to him. It's never fine. That's what people tell other people when shit hits the fan.
---
They finally let him see Sam. They try to warn him and he tries to steel himself but it's still a shock to see Sam laid out on a hospital bed with more tubes in him than the internet. For her credit Jody barely flinches.
Dean plunks down in a chair beside Sam's bed.
He waits.
---
He waits for three days and then he gets a phone call that makes him turn white.
"...Cas?" Dean says for the third time.
"Yes, Dean. It continues to be me," Cas says in a voice that sounds too tired to be Cas. "Dean, please just listen to me. I need—"
"You said you were closing the pearly gates!" Dean almost yells into the phone. "Sam's been in a coma for days and you could have—"
"Dean!" Cas shouts into the phone. "Would you listen?"
Dean snaps his mouth shut. Maybe Cas is still in Heaven. Maybe the cell reception actually is that good there.
"Closing up Heaven required a sacrifice," Cas says calmly. "An angel had to close and bar the door from the outside using their grace as the lock."
Dean lets the information filter into his brain. "...are you saying you used up your grace to close Heaven up?"
"Yes," Cas says. He sighs long and loud and wheezy. "I used my grace to lock up the angels in Heaven. I'm human now."
Dean asks the only logical question. "Where are you?"
"I don't know," Cas says in defeat. "I tried to land close to you when I Fell. I'm in the same state, I know that much. The payphone I'm—"
"You're on a payphone? What happened to yours?" Dean interrupts.
"Broken," Cas says. "The payphone I'm using is in a town called Newcomb but...I don't actually know where that is. I can't...locate myself in relation to the planet anymore. I don't...is Newcomb close to you? Could I walk there?"
Dean shakes his head. He rubs the bridge of his nose. "No, Cas. You can't walk here from Newcomb."
"I'll find a ride then," Cas says, determined.
"No," Dean says and before Cas can argue he tells him why, "Jody is gonna come get you."
He doesn't need to ask. He knows Jody is good for it. When she gets back with lunch he'll send her out.
"Jody...? She is the Sheriff Mills you talk about frequently?" Cas asks. He coughs into the phone. "She sounds nice from what you've told me."
"Yeah. Jody Mills," Dean says. "She's a real doll."
He keeps Cas on the phone until his change runs out then he waits for Jody to get back. Waiting wouldn't be so bad if he could do something about it.
---
It takes Jody all of a day to get Cas. She phones once to say she found him. She phones again to say Cas is sick. She phones a third time from the emergency room.
Dean makes it downstairs in time to see Cas being hauled off the floor and onto a stretcher. Dean can hear the wheezing sound coming from Cas's chest. It's the only thing he can hear.
The doctors take Cas away.
And then it's more waiting.
---
"Pneumonia?" Dean says in disgusted disbelief. "Tiny Tim in the workhouse, please sir can I have some more pneumonia?"
"Tiny Tim didn't have pneumonia and Cas was wandering in the woods for five days.," Jody says in a defensive tone. She's had that tone since she got Cas to the hospital. Dean isn't sure if she's just worried for the guy or if it's partly because she told the doctors Cas is her husband and she's really good at playing the part of concerned wife. He's probably just overthinking things.
"I stabbed Cas in the heart with a knife the first time I saw him and the guy didn't even flinch. He can't just get pneumonia," Dean insists. He can't make the words make sense in his head. Cas can't have pneumonia. Cas is a badass. Even if he's not an angel anymore. Cas can't just have pneumonia. It doesn't work like that.
"Well, I'll be sure to tell the doctors your new theory on healthcare," Jody says. She shoves a donut at him. "Just don't get sick."
Dean scowls at her and stuffs half the donut into his mouth. He mumbles through it that he's going to visit Cas.
Cas is in quarantine but fuck it. He can't just sit around and wait anymore.
The nurses make him put on a hospital gown over his clothes and wear a mask and nitrile gloves. They don't want him spreading pneumonia around and making the already sick people even sicker. He isn't sure if Cas is even awake at first but as soon as he sits down in the chair beside the bed Cas's head rolls over to look at him.
"How's Sam?" Cas asks.
"Same old. Sleeping in while everyone else does the work," Dean jokes because if he doesn't he might start screaming or bawling his eyes out. It's a toss up. He grabs Cas's hand and gives it a squeeze. "And how're you doing, Mr. Mills?"
Cas laughs, it's weak and breathy. "Tired." He squeezes Dean's hand back and a barely there smile plays on his face. "But Jody is a very attentive spouse. She makes sure I eat and get enough sleep. I'm lucky to have her."
Dean throws his head back and laughs. Cas watches him and squeezes his hand tighter then falls asleep. The dude wasn't kidding about being tired.
Dean doesn't let go of his hand even if it looks a little weird that some strange guy is holding Jody's 'husband's' hand.
He sits with Cas. At least if he waits in here he knows Cas will eventually wake up.
---
Sam wakes up.
He has to keep prodding him and keeping him awake even though he knows Sam needs to rest but he can't get it out of his head that if Sam falls asleep again he might not ever wake back up.
Jody kicks him out of Sam's room when he's woken Sam up for the third time in as many hours.
The nurses agree.
Dean wants to tell them all off, that they don't understand how many times he's waited then had it all ripped away, but he knows he's being unreasonable. Sam's awake and he needs to rest up. As long as he sits quietly and doesn't bother him he can stay, otherwise he better get used to sitting around in the waiting room again.
---
He hides out with Cas a lot because he can't keep still in Sam's room. He can't do anything for Sam that he's not already doing but he can hang out with Cas and make sure he doesn't go through any nasty human surprises alone, like the hiccups and involuntary eye twitching.
Cas gets downgraded from quarantine, so that's a point in their favour. Half a point. Maybe. Dean isn't sure what the point system is on being stuck in the hospital. It seems more like a pass-fail scenario. No letter grades for them.
At least Cas doesn't look as pale as he first had. He stills gets exhausted from doing anything more than walking across the room to the bathroom but it's an improvement.
Cas puts up with him fussing over him and only rolls his eyes a couple of times— okay, maybe a few dozen times because Dean can't take, I can do it on my own. I'm sick, not dying, as a good excuse to get up and walk all over the damn place.
If it wasn't for the look of angelic displeasure that passed over Cas's face when he reached for Cas's plate of hospital food he would have been cutting Cas's food up and making airplane noises. Cas at least humours him and lets him open up anything that's prepackaged.
He's opening up a fruit cup when Cas lets out a long sigh.
Cas pokes at his mac and cheese. "I didn't think food would be so..."
"Awesome?" Dean offers. He sets the fruit cup down on the tray.
"Disgusting," Cas says and sticks the fork into the mac and cheese. The fork slowly falls over. A noodle goes up with it. The 'cheese' drips off it. "I don't understand why humans are so preoccupied with food beyond basic survival." He nudges the fork through the puddle of 'cheese' and frowns at it. "I suppose my grace removed the bulk of the sensation but from the intense pleasure food seemed to give you so often I always assumed...." Cas looks up at him finally.
Dean's got his hand over his mouth biting at one of his fingers to stop himself from laughing.
"What?" Cas asks far too seriously.
Dean bursts out laughing. Cas scowls at him and demands to know what's so funny. Dean laughs harder. He should feel kind of bad that Cas's first human experience with food is hospital food but he can't help it.
"Dude..." He shakes his head still laughing. "It's hospital food. It tastes like ass."
Cas eyes the mac and cheese. He looks like he's going to ask him how he knows what ass tastes like and knowing Cas he could either mean something filthy or he could mean a long-eared farm animal and either way it would come out sounding just as serious.
Dean shakes his head again. He takes the tray away and sets it down on the window ledge. He stands up and points a strict finger down at Cas. "You wait here and rest. I'm gonna head down to the cafeteria and get you something good."
Cas looks at him puzzled. "The cafeteria is in the hospital?"
"Yeah," Dean says. "It's downstairs."
"Then would it not also be hospital food?" Cas asks because sometimes Cas is too smart for his own good.
"Yeah..." Dean resolves that Cas needs a real experience with food. There's a restaurant across the street Jody's been going to. It's decent which means it's miles better than what's been put in front of Cas the last few days. "Okay. I'll see what I can swing." Dean grabs the fruit cup and the spoon and holds it out to Cas. "You eat your fruit cup while I'm gone. It's not that bad."
Cas makes a face that implies it's probably worse than bad but he takes it anyway. Dean watches him until he sticks the spoon into the cup and takes a bite.
Cas's face scrunches up. "It's slimy."
"It'll put hair on your chest," Dean says grinning.
Cas looks down at his chest then back to Dean. He squints at him. He opens his mouth as if to ask something but he closes it again and shakes his head. He eats another spoonful of fruit and grimaces.
Dean brings him back chicken noodle soup and a carrot muffin because that seemed healthy and as much as he thinks the healthy shit Sam goes for is ridiculous Sam's probably right— at least when it comes to sick people.
The soup gets a few wide-eyed looks of awe and then disappears with happy little sighs and content noises.
Dean doesn't mind waiting for Cas to finish the soup.
---
There's a lot more waiting to be done. Just when the doctors are ready to let Cas out into the real world his temperature shoots through the roof and no one knows why. Cas starts talking about angels, which isn't his fever making him delirious but the doctors don't know that. Dean plays along because a 104°F fever and climbing is terrifying and he wants the doctors just as worried as he is.
He remembers this too. Waiting for Sam's fever to go down. Waiting just a few more hours and hoping until he can't wait anymore. He remembers phoning Dad and asking what to do and getting Sam to the emergency room but this time there isn't anyone to phone and no one knows what to do and they're already in a hospital and it isn't helping.
So he waits with Sam and Jody.
The doctors call Jody away to make some decisions since she's Cas's wife.
So he waits with Sam.
Sam wakes up for a few minutes, grabs his shoulder, and squeezes it. He tells him it'll be fine. Cas will pull through. He's a fighter. Dean doesn't want to hear that anymore. He shakes his head. Time drags on as it has a tendency to do and Sam's hand falls from Dean's shoulder. Dean plants a hand on Sam's chest and makes sure he's only sleeping. He is.
So he waits.
---
The fever goes down. No one knows what it was about but Cas guesses it was his body acclimatizing to being fully human again after 6 years.
"So, what?" Dean says spreading his hands. "You just went through a backlog of every flu and cold you missed out on the last half a decade?"
Cas shrugs, "Something like that." He eats a mouthful of slimy fruit cup and wrinkles his nose. "Has the hospital staff ever eaten the food they serve patients?"
"This isn't a day spa," Dean retorts.
"That isn't an excuse for this exceptionally horrible food," Cas says. He puts down the spoon and lays back. His eyes drift close. If he was tired before he's exhausted now. He keeps his eyes closed while he talks, "The doctors say I can go home tomorrow."
"Yeah. Sam's raring for the same ticket out of here," Dean says. He'd rather Sam stay in the hospital for another week but their funds are running low and he doesn't think he could stop him from leaving if he tried.
"I don't have a home to go to," Cas says softly on the edge of sleep.
The words feel like a kick to the chest.
"Yeah, you do," Dean says but Cas is already snoring.
---
"You keep my husband good and warm while he's recovering," Jody says, smiling. "Don't want him catching pneumonia again."
"I'm sure Dean will look out for me," Cas says from the backseat where he's bundled up in blankets.
"Don't encourage him, Cas," Sam says. He's got his own blanket wrapped around him. "He likes to tell people he makes soup and brings them aspirin but half the time it's peanut butter cups and beer because we forgot to go shopping."
"It's a Winchester family cure," Dean retorts. "I haven't heard you complain about the beer before." And before Sam can say that he does complain he shuts the door on him. He looks at Jody. He rubs his hand over the back of his neck and shuffles on his feet.
This part he doesn't really know how to do. He's never really had people turn up and help him and wait with him through all the bullshit until the doubts lift and they can go home.
"Uh...thanks, Jody," Dean says because he's a master of words.
"No problem, Dean," Jody says. "Anytime you need me."
Jody gives a him a hug. He thinks it's probably a mom hug and he thinks he remembers getting those from his mom but it's blurred with that djinn dream.
She pounds him on the back at the end of it. It's definitely not a mom hug anymore. She points a finger in his face, "You take care of those two"
Dean gives her his best soldier salute, "Will do, ma'am."
Jody narrows her eyes at him for a moment before she bends down to wave at Cas and Sam in the backseat. She blows Cas a kiss. Cas stares at her confused. Sam laughs and blows one back to her.
His brother is a huge dork.
---
Dean drives the recovering and exhausted portion of the family home. He watches them both nod off in the backseat eventually slumping against each other, snuggled into the blankets, and drooling. Dean takes a few pictures for blackmail and a few more because he knows Charlie will get a kick out of it. He sends her one when he stops for gas with the caption, big bad hunters.
When he gets back in the car Cas has shifted to lean on the door and Sam's fallen down so he's resting his head on Cas's knee. The two of them look so worn out by the first leg of their trip that it really drives home how sick they both were.
He makes sure Sam's not getting his circulation cut off from the seat belt.
Sam's fine.
He tosses another blanket over him anyway and moves his head to Cas's leg so he doesn't wake up with a wicked headache.
He shoves some blankets under Cas's head so it won't bang off the door when they hit bumps. He throws another blanket over Cas too. Cas nuzzles into it and sighs out his name. Dean's heart skips a beat.
He resolves to quit waiting.