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When Ren had left almost forty days ago for his latest mission with a squadron of stormtroopers, multiple crates and pallets of cargo, and three of Hux's officers in tow, Hux had felt a bit of unease. Trepidation. Almost a slight feeling of dread. At the time, he had passed it off as just his reluctance to see the Knight go, especially on such a long mission. And his men and troops too of course. But ever since he and Kylo became...involved, it made seeing Ren leave on dangerous mission after dangerous mission that much harder. It was all too complicated. Even more so in light of Hux fully understanding the depths of his feelings for his co-commander. He missed him. He worried about him. Immensely. Hux had been entirely unused to such strong feelings before Kylo.
And he thanked the stars that thus far his Knight had always returned to him, more or less in one piece.
But this time.
This time something had gone wrong, and Hux desperately wished that he had trusted his gut instinct instead of passing it off as sentimentality, wished he had delayed the mission, held it back, something. But it was not the time to dwell on past mistakes, Hux tried to tell himself. The shuttle was over a week late in its return.
The Finalizer had received a single fractured mission report file two weeks into the voyage that the initial parameters had been heavily miscalculated. The planet information was not up to date, the security measures had failed, the Resistance had many more troops than they had accounted for, more weaponry, more of a plan. And Hux had felt another deep emotion, a feeling of guilt, when that fractured report came through because it had estimated that half of the shuttle occupants had been lost to casualties. Hux hated the way some of his fellow officers' faces had crumpled at the news; he was not the only one that could have lost someone important to him on this mission. Hux hated that everything was so unknown, no specific names had come through, and only some on the bridge even dared to hope anymore.
That had been weeks ago. All communications with the shuttle had completely failed after that, not for lack of trying. All the Finalizer received was the projected late arrival time. No one knew who, if any, would return. No one knew who, if any, still survived.
Many sleepless nights had passed for Hux and his loyal officers, working tirelessly on the bridge, making preparations and trying again and again to contact the shuttle. Hux had worried himself sick. He knew he had dark bags under his eyes, knew his hair was disheveled and going limp from nervously running his fingers though it, knew his gloves were creased beyond repair from the clenching of his hands.
The ship was due to land in four hours, according to the single line of text they had received. The crew waited with baited breath for any sort of news, any receivable message, a blip of a tracker, anything. The tension and worry was palpable on the bridge. There was silence, broken only by shuffled footsteps or startled jumps at any new beep from the consoles whenever they refreshed or rescanned.
Time simultaneously felt too fast and too slow. At two hours until the estimated arrival time, there was still no word from Ren's shuttle. Hux managed to drag himself away from the bridge to check the docking bay in person, though he had called to confirm their protocol numerous times already. He assessed the landing and unloading equipment, the shields, the doors; it was a nice distraction, however brief. He demanded to be alerted as soon as the ship made contact, though it was more out of reassurance to himself as he had already requested that the instant he found out the shuttle's arrival date.
At one hour to go, Hux had returned to the bridge. He alternated between staring out the transparisteel viewports as if he could see the shuttle's approach, and pacing the bridge nervously, boots rapping with precise and measured steps that only faltered to resume his vigil at the viewports or to observe a new blip from a console.
His thoughts raced along with his heart, reflecting the nervous energy of everyone in the room. Did Kylo survive? Would he have felt it if something happened to the Knight? Hux knew he wasn't Force-sensitive, but perhaps since Kylo very much was, and they had such a strong connection, then maybe he would know. If Kylo felt as strongly about him in return, that is. Hux wondered if Kylo knew how much he truly cared for him, how much that he loved him. Hux hoped that he did, but he felt a deep twinge of regret as he realized he had never told Kylo. He never made his feelings clear. And now he regretted it more than anything, what if he never had another chance? What if Kylo had never known he was loved? Hux felt sick. He desperately wished for his Knight to return to him, for just one more chance to tell him, show him just how much he meant to Hux. He would tell him how much he loved him and never let him go.
Thirty minutes. Fifteen. Five. The waiting was killing Hux. His heart couldn't take it. The crew was listless. All systems were checked and checked again. The whole ship was ready for the shuttle's return. And suddenly. Finally. It was there. It landed. Hux couldn't breathe. He became vaguely aware of his feet rushing, carrying him along to the docking bay, leading the majority of the bridge crew. He froze in the large doorway, physically, mentally not able to move, not able to process his fear, his worry, his desperate hope. He felt faint and he was sure his heart had never pounded so hard in his life.
The shuttle door opened. The ramp descended. Hux could hear the blood rushing in his ears, wanting to look away, not wanting to look away. And then. Then. Ren was there. Walking. Alive. He stepped down the ramp in his heavy boots with a slight limp in his stride, no helmet, hair a wild mess, eyes searching, but there. Alive. Safe.
Hux couldn't stop himself from running at Kylo the moment the Knight's eyes found him, flinging his arms around him as a small noise escaped him. He buried his face in Kylo's dirty cowl, tightening his grip.
“You came back,” Hux sobbed brokenly, clinging as tightly as he could as wave after wave of worry and relief and emotion passed over him.. Ren's arms wrapped just as tightly around him. Hux felt safe, all thoughts of the mission and his duties and everything going on around them gone as he sobbed in Kylo's arms. Kylo was back. Kylo was ok. Kylo was home. And Hux felt like he was finally home too.
“Of course I did,” Ren said, deep voice a little rough and hoarse but oh how Hux missed it. Missed him. Other tearful reunions happened around the docking bay, but Hux only had eyes for Kylo, burying himself further into Ren, breathing him in, pulling him impossibly closer and yet it's not close enough. “I'll always come back to you,” Kylo murmured in his ear, pressing his nose to Hux's temple.
“Sir,” a voice sounded to his left. Mitaka. Hux didn't want to move, couldn't pull away. “Unamo and I can handle the bridge for the rest of the night, sir.”
Hux had never been more thankful for his Lieutenants, so competent and thoughtful when he needed it most. He pulled back enough to straighten his uniform to the best of his abilities and wiped at his tear-stained cheeks.
“Thank you, Lieutenant. You have the bridge. See to it that anyone else needing some time is given a sufficient break.” Mitaka smiled at him, seeing his General more human and still their leader all at once, before saluting and relaying Hux's orders.
“Kylo,” Hux breathed, voice breaking. “Lord Ren. With me.”
Kylo smiled next to him. “With you, my General? Always.”
Together they walked down the halls of the Finalizer to Hux's quarters, which may as well have been their quarters with how often Ren frequented them. Apparently Kylo had missed Hux just as much, Hux found, as Ren couldn't keep his hands off of him, needing some point of physical contact. Their hands linked as they walked, which was new to both of them. Hux could feel the waves of emotion rolling off of Kylo: the relief of being back, the tiredness, the stress of the mission, the weight of loss, and his need for Hux. For time for just the two of them.
Hux's trembling hand reached out to put in the code to his quarters. The instant that the doors slid shut behind them, he latched himself back onto Kylo, sighing in relief that this was real, he was given his chance. Hux felt like Ren's large hands were everywhere all at once, petting at Hux's hair, gripping his shoulders, his waist, his hips, like he couldn't get enough of him. He cupped Hux's face in his warm, callused palms, pulling him up into a kiss burning with emotions. Hux felt tears come back to his eyes ask Kylo's lips moved over his. It had been too long and he had been almost certain he would never have this again.
“I was so worried,” Hux whispered between kisses. “I didn't know if you were alive or- or if you would make it back,” the words choked out of him, lips brushing against Kylo's as he spoke, unable to bear being any further apart. “And I never said, never told you-”
“I know, I know,” Kylo murmured back. His fingertips ran through Hux's hair, down his neck, tracing his face. “I promise, Hux, I'll always come back to you.”
“I don't know how I'd go on without you. I don't think I could survive. No one else-” Hux broke off with a slight shake of his head, words failing him. Hands pushed at outer layers of clothing, needing to be closer.
“I almost didn't. I almost gave up,” Kylo admitted as he helped Hux pull off his cowl and singed cape, starting on the fastenings of Hux's uniform. “I thought about you every day. You were like a light leading me home. You were my strength that kept me going, that helped me make it back to you. How could I ever leave you alone, Hux?” He caught Hux's face in his hands once more, staring deeply into his eyes. Hux felt a tear escape and Kylo caught it on his thumb, brushing it gently away.
In just his regulation briefs and Kylo in his leggings, Hux led him to his bed, their bed, laying Kylo in the soft pillows. Words weren't enough. Hux leaned back to take Kylo in, a welcome sight, reveling in being close to him once more after so long. He winced in sympathy at the bruises and cuts and scars littering his skin, leaning down to press the softest of kisses to each one that he could see. Kylo tugged him closer as Hux kissed over his neck, his chest, his face, re-memorizing every feature.
“I care about you so much,” Hux breathed when he was able to find words again to express his feelings. “I need you to know that. You're all that I could ever want. All that I need.” His fingertips traced over Kylo's nose, watching his long fluttering eyelashes. Kylo's hands settled on Hux's lower back.
“I love you,” Hux said after a breath.
Ren leaned up for their lips to meet again, passion spilling though the gentle touch. It was more raw and intimate than any long night they had shared.
“I love you too,” Kylo replied, resting their foreheads together. “Hux, you're everything.”
He curled around Kylo, lost in the emotions flowing between them. “Just...just hold me?” Kylo's arms were around him before he could finish his request. He held Kylo just as tightly as he was being held, both needing the comfort of being close. They fell asleep in each others' arms between soft kisses, peaceful together, in love.