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BREAKING NEWS: CITYSPEAKER WINDBLADE IS CARRYING A WINDBABY- STARSCREAM IS THE SIRE?
(CHESTPLATE IMPLANT RUMOURS PROVEN FALSE)
“The rumours of our resident Cityspeaker Windblade being closer than most bots to self-professed Lord Starscream seem to be true, as it was confirmed today that she is carrying- and the list of potential sires only has one name on it. At the same time, rumours of Windblade’s sudden increase in chestplate size were not, as suspected, due to implants, but due to her advancing pregnancy.
Those close to both bots were shocked by this news when informed, and indeed us at Axiom Nexus News were stunned, but a few (namely Windblade’s bodyguard Chromia) only commented with, “Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. She wasn't exactly sly about sneaking into his office for a quick frag.” Another associate, who asked to remain under the alias “Mousetrap”, added, “Hey, Starscream wasn't as hush hush about his little trysts as he thought he was. After all, there's a reason he’s called Screamer!”
Our most reliable source, Starscream’s own trine brother Skywarp, tells us Starscream has often shunned chances at entering the dating scene, even before the war that took up so much of his trine’s lives.
"Uh yeah, I can confirm the reason he has stayed away from dating is because... he has a terrible medical condition known as ‘micro spike’,” Skywarp revealed in an interview.
"Oh Primus, how terrible! And, tell us, has he always been this way?"
"Yep, from the day he was born, Vos' finest medics said it was the smallest specimen they've ever seen!"
"How shameful. Well, you have it here folks! Starscream's little disability has prevented him from having confidence with the ladies, but it seems Windblade isn't picky where our leader is concerned. Do you have any closing remarks, Skywarp?"
"Though Starscream has managed to beat his condition and get off the market, I'm still single, ladies,” Skywarp told us with a sly wink, perhaps aimed at our own interviewer who politely declined the advances.
For anyone interested in the offer, please be sure to visit this impressive bachelor's website or call the number below.
Any further news about Windblade’s condition or that of her newspark is currently yet to be given, and Starscream was unavailable for comment on the claims that he is the sire. In the meantime, we will be sure to keep you updated with Cybertron's newest hottest couple and their beautiful child! Only time will tell whether or not we placed our bets wisely on the new baby girl!”
...
“HAVE YOU READ THIS DRECK THEY’RE SPOUTING ABOUT US, WINDBLADE?”
“I could read it if you'd stop flailing the datapad around,” Windblade pointed out, not even bothering to roll her optics at her freshly-outed mate’s first tantrum of the day. Starscream growled, grating denta together and clenching his claws like he was going to snap the datapad he held in them in half. But eventually he just spat in disgust before throwing it down on the table, marching off to the window so he could turn his outrage on the whole city.
“I ought to make these fragging tabloid slagrags illegal! Have they nothing better to do than flit around and ask any half-built drone on the street about the most ridiculous things-!”
Windblade was halfway down the scratched screen, only half listening to Starscream’s tirade when she focused in at just the right time- or the wrong one, from the bloom of hurt in her spark that she managed to stop echoing across her crowded chamber. “You... think our sparkling is ridiculous?”
Starscream’s stiff wings sank to the floor, and his face was a portrait of guilt as he turned towards her. “I didn't mean it like that, Windblade… I'm still trying to get used to the idea. I've… never thought of myself as sire material, after all.” He planted his servos on the table, sagging opposite her under the sudden weight of more than just the whole planet on his shoulders. It wasn't often that he let himself look so vulnerable, especially in front of her, and her hand was on his cheek in a warm cradle, like the one her spark wrapped around the tiny bud of their child.
“Did you ever think you'd be the leader of Cybertron?” she asked softly, tempting his optics up from glaring at the table. His gaze was tired, and his digits slow to wreathe between hers.
“I'd always hoped, but… I suppose I knew it was unlikely,” he said quietly.
“Yet look where you are now.” She smiled, creasing her bright markings to beam all the hope she had at him, and even he couldn’t resist smiling back, trailing his hand down her arm to hover over her burdened chest and the life growing so humbly within.
“...Well, I can't think of anyone else I'd want to raise a sparkling with.” Their forehelms pressed together, thrumming a current of adoration between their bodies, and Windblade swore she could feel the newspark jumping towards its sire’s touch.
“Still…” Starscream’s hand moved from her chest, falling back to the table like his expression, which was already hardening again as he curled his claws back around the glowing datapad.
“HOW DARE THAT WORTHLESS SLAG OF A BROTHER SPREAD THOSE LIES ABOUT MY SPIKE?! MINE IS TWICE THE SIZE OF HIS, THAT'S WHY HE HASN'T BEEN LAID SINCE THE WAR FIRST STARTED!” And so the tantrum resumed, with Starscream sending the incriminating pad soaring out the window to shatter on a poor someone’s helm. This time Windblade did roll her optics, even feeling the little core in her chamber copying the movement.
“I know, sweetie, but you get used to it after a while,” she muttered to her chestplate, patting the place where the newspark would be nestled.