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Ratchet was enjoying a pleasant day at the park, he finally had an excuse to use the tea set Optimus had gotten him when Ratchet said he was like a bull in a china store. For a cheeky joke, Optimus got a pretty cute set. He didn't know where he got these things in their sizes, like with the footballs and basketballs, and where was he getting the money?!
Thundercracker was sipping the other teacup after he had gotten his kite in the air. They were far from the more populated areas of the park and were sitting on a hill minding their own business. Some civilians were weary of the huge war machine being near their families but Thundercracker's calm demeanor quelled some of those fears.
Although if the medic had to guess with all of the people taking photos of his face, it was because of his pretty privilege.
It also helps that the war was on pause for months now. Most of the humans, from what Ratchet can gather, think that the two sides are working towards peace…If only it was that!
In reality the war was only paused due to an agreement Megatron made with Optimus Prime so he can borrow the best Autobot lawyers to force Starscream into paying child support.
With the moronic freaks mainly fighting each other now, the battles also stopped and cross faction relationships were allowed to develop, mostly in the form of rivalries, but less deadly. Jetfire and Thundercracker were also more open about their romantic relationship (everyone already suspected that) and the shuttle had wanted his friends to get to know Thundercracker better, and Ratchet obliged.
Turns out, Thundercracker was a good mech to bitch to, as he was also a bitch. Combined with how he was highly invested in petty drama, Ratchet almost forgot he was talking to a terrorist.
The two eventually ended up on the topic of their faction's ceasefire.
“I did not think that the closest thing that ended this war was because of a sparkling.” Thundercracker said as he poured more tea for himself.
As ridiculous as the reason was, Ratchet was still glad there was finally a moment of peace, “It's fitting, that the war that has ended so many lives was itself ended by a new one.”
“More like it ended more by a babymamas hate for their babydaddy.” Thundercracker scoffed. “Even with the name they fought for a whole day, went to recharge, and then continued to fight the next.”
Megatron had wanted to name their sparkling something rock related even though the sparkling was a flight frame and Starscream wanted a name from the skies. Eventually they settled on naming their poor child after a rock in the sky.
“Optimus has been trying to get this moment of peace to be permanent with a truce. If Megatron hates Starscream enough to agree just so he pays — with the money MEGATRON gives him — so be it. It's not like the rest of us have the same problems as they do.”
Thundercracker stopped sipping his tea and looked at Ratchet, looking like he wanted to ask him something.
“What? Spit it out.”
“Are you and Optimus… Trying?”
Oh great. They've been talking amicably for half an hour after millions of years of attempts to kill their friends, now they're talking about interfacing. It would weird out other mechs, but not Ratchet.
“I'm one of the best medics on Cybertron, my birth control is very up to date! We never worry about accidents. Not that I can say the same for you cons, no offence.”
Thundercracker only shrugged, “none taken. I'm surprised we got this far until it happened.”
“We only talked about and- wait, I shouldn't be telling you this.” Ratchet realized he was talking to a high ranking Decepticon about the private life of the Autobot leader.
“I won't tell! Soundwave doesn't read my mind anymore after the 4th time he caught me thinking about him and Blaster interfacing.”
Ratchet thought about it before fully processing what the seeker said, “he caught-? You know what. Whatever. If the peace continues it would be nice to finally settle down a bit. I would love to carry Optimus's sparkling, even if he is a huge fragging mech.”
Thundercracker nodded in understanding, after all, the size difference between him and Jetfire was also quite large. “I've always wanted some of my own. Sometimes I would think that if I had one it would finally be the push for me to leave the war. My relationship with Jetfire is new compared to yours and Optimus's, but if anything does happen I wouldn't be opposed… Skywarp said that he would like to be the cool uncle to another sparkling and Jetfires a stable sire.”
“Stability?! All a sparkling needs is a good, strong carrier!”
The two flinched and turned around.
“Megatron!”
“Why are you here?!” Great, now Ratchet had to deal with two Decepticons.
Megatron was standing behind them, carrying his sleeping sparkling. There were less people now but some took photos before speedwalking away.
“Can a mech not take a nice walk in a park and have tea with two friends?” Megatron sat down across from them, his sparkling stirring awake.
“Hi Asteria.” Thundercracker cooed over the sparkling. They looked at him with big baby eyes.
Ratchet had to admit as volatile as their creators are, they're a strangely happy sparkling.
There were only 2 teacups so Megatron picked up the hot teapot. He froze, his body locking up. “Thundercracker, hold them for me.” He said and handed the sparkling over before pouring scalding tea directly into his intake. Ratchet knows carriers have programming activated to protect their sparklings, but if Megatrons is affecting him to the point where it gives him common sense, maybe peace is more possible then they had thought?
Meanwhile, Thundercracker is noticeably happier with the baby seeker, letting them play with the kite string. At this rate, Megatron and Starscream might trigger an after war baby boom, it's a small scab to the amount of lives they have taken.
Megatron also picked up on this. “Thundercracker if you get sparked, I can help you with getting the child support.”
“Uh. I'm good, I would rather have the sire. Jetfire doesn't have that much money anyways… Wait.” Thundercracker stopped bouncing the sparkling, “is this why you tried to interface with him a decade ago?”
“You what?!” Ratchet had never heard of this!
“Hmph, what a wasted opportunity to get money from the Autobots. But I'm surprised you remembered! It would have made Starscream furious, haha!”
The medic had seen Starscream be very territorial over Megatron before, despite hating him so much. He has to ask Jetfire about that encounter after.
Megatron continued, “Jetfire is quite the looker too, it's a nice bonus.”
Thundercrackers wings twitched in annoyance, “Maybe you should deal with choosing a shitty sire before trying to move on!”
Oh? Maybe Starscream isn't the only territorial one. Ratchet quickly moved to take Asteria from the blue seeker, they giggled in anticipation for a fight.
“You question me?! I do not make bad decisions!”
“You would let a paper airplane with a thumbtack spike you! You… whore!”
Ratchet and Megatron both were taken aback at his outburst.
“How. Dare. You. My sparkling and I were enjoying this beautiful spring day, and here I am! Getting slutshamed.” Megatron threw his hands up in the air, letting go of the teapot. It shattered on the ground.
Ratchet just covered up the amused sparklings audios as Thundercracker and Megatron revealed way more they should have to Ratchet, and all of the humans recording this.
“Guys. Let's argue not in front of the sparkling and humans.” He knew that the sparkling heard worse, but he's going to salvage any moment of reprise for them.
Megatron grunted, “you're not usually the mouthy one.”
Thundercracker sighed. “...and we're out of tea.”
Ratchet looked at the shattered teapot on the ground, he only got to use it once! At least he got to hold the sparkling now, they were slowly starting to fall back asleep with no more show to watch.
‘Poor thing. Having these morons for parents. Me and Optimus can do so much better-’
Ratchet snapped out of his thoughts.
“Ugh, sparkling fever is getting to me. “ Ratchet muttered to himself, unfortunately, Megatron heard him.
“Then go spawn one with Prime! My sparkling will defeat whatever you two put out, we already have a head start!”
“Megatron-”
“Or are you two so old you can't anymore? Ha!”
Ratchet groaned. “You may be the youngest one here but we’re not that old!”
“At least Starscream is smaller than you Megatron, with how big Jetfire and Prime are, the discharge for emergence is going to suck for us.” The blue seeker pointed out.
“Thundercracker you know Jetfire can carry,” Ratchet suggested, “Optimus has other things going on, being a prime and all, so he can't.”
“I know he can, it's just…" Thundercracker looked like he didn't want to finish his sentence, "He's too accident prone! The sparkling won't make it to emergence!”
The medic wanted to say something to counter that, but he couldn't. “Actually, Optimus wouldn't last the entire gestation period without getting major damage somehow either. Even without the war.” He sighed. “Looks like your sire is the best candidate for carrying Megatron.”
Megatron was not hesitating to insult Starscream, “One time Starscream got stuck in a cage made of pure electricity. And got shocked when punching the cage didn't work. Literally. Thundercracker you were there.”
“I remember that. Although I'd still say it's a way higher chance than our partners.”
Asteria started to fuss in Ratchet's arms, Megatron quickly moved to take his sparkling back. “They’re hungry. Looks like I’ll have to make my leave, see you later losers!” He said and flew off, disappearing as quickly as he appeared.
Ratchet fought off the bit of disappointment from only holding the sparkling a short time before turning to the blue seeker. His face was in his servos and it looked like he regretted all of his life decisions.
“Ughhh, why did I say all that…”
Ratchet patted him on the wing, “Don't worry, I also feared Megatron until I realized he was more annoying than scary. And a whore.”
Thundercracker sighed, “I think he just doesn't want to be the only carrier.”
“Is he trying to have our children create a trine..?”
The blue seeker shook his head. “If he is, it's probably subconsciously. Probably some seeker coding leftover that made him want to group up, but what do I know, you're ‘one of the best medics on Cybertron’.”
“Bitch.” Ratchet scoffed. “Its not like he would agree to end the war if he got some friends for his sparkling.”
“Who knows. Since the day he was created Megatron has never stopped fighting. Maybe this will finally make him focus on something else.” Thundercracker looked to the sky. “It would be nice.”