Work Text:
She let out a breath, tapping her foot on the wooden carriage floor. The morning had been much like the others from the past couple days, a ride from neighboring towns, stopping occasionally for food and for their biaoshi to meet her contacts. Maomao would typically have to stay in the carriage to watch the children, a glorified babysitter.
Maomao didn’t mind tending to them, Xiaohong was a sweetheart, Gyokujun left something to be desired. He usually wasted the day away sulking after she scolded him for antagonizing his cousin, and she would keep Xiaohong busy with a game. However, she was a grown woman only pretending to be a mother, she needed more mental stimulation than a game of jax. The biaoshi was awfully stoic, she could at least give her some conversation.
To say the least, Maomao was bored. Probably what she should be least concerned about in her current situation but it was important to keep her sanity intact.
She rested her elbow on the border of the carriage, letting her cheek fall onto her hand. There was no herbal medicine anywhere around here, the biaoshi keeping her away from any markets that could have what she craved. It was almost starting to feel purposeful, maybe she got briefed on Maomaos penchants. Sometimes she would hold the pearls hidden in her robe just to feel something. She’d usually have a small shop hidden in her robes, but she didn’t realize when she had left to tend to a patient it’d become an out of office treatment, so her resources were exhausted.
She grumbled, when was Jinshi gonna send out for her already?
He didn’t so much drag his feet like during the Shi Clan situation, and it had been less than a couple weeks. Still, she was getting antsy.
Who would check his already healed burn? Nobody else could but her, especially since he’d been so lackadaisical with his bandage replacements. She was an asset! Yet she’d been roped along because she stuck her nose into something she shouldn’t have, she’d go as far as to say manipulated. Brought to a dingy inn, been made into a mother and forced to twiddle her thumbs in a carriage while the shape of her butt burned into the seat. She was not pleased in any sense of the word.
Surely she had to have set a record, kidnapped three times, frankly it was getting ridiculous. Maybe third times the charm and they’d manage to keep her until she succumbed to old age this time. Hopefully that wouldn’t happen, but it very well could at the snails pace Jinshi was moving.
She really was feeling ridiculous now, but she felt she reserved the slight right to be mad because it felt like her chaperone kept moving her in circles, there was no visible progress being made to bring her back. It was all a process, though one she wouldn’t mind speeding up a bit more.
She crossed her arms and tapped her finger, progress sometimes wasn’t linear, but she’d kill to at least get a breath.
“Is that a habit of yours?” The lady biaoshi asked, making Maomao fright before looking at her. She never started conversation.
Maomao then noticed her incessant tapping of her foot, her finger, her hand on any surface when she needed to occupy her mind “I guess… so.” It hadn’t always been, where exactly had she picked that up?
Her guard asked a follow up “So you picked it up from someone?”
“Not that I can…” A vision of a heavenly nymph crossed her mind. She then clammed up. Now that she thought about it he did always do that. Whenever he was distressed, he didn’t show it on his face, but that was always the tell. They don’t even spend a lot of time together. How could she unconsciously start using his mannerisms?
She supposed he was on her mind quite a bit, just hoping he was getting enough rest while she was gone. She didn’t think it was that much, though. Maomao swore she saw the lady biaoshi smirk when she averted her gaze.
⋆˚࿔
Moonlight seeped through the curtains of the carriage, stirring Maomao in her slumber. She felt a firm hand press to her face, leaning into the touch before her eyes cracked open.
Deep, almost obsidian lilac eyes met hers “Master Jinshi?”
He smiled warmly at her, making her heart sink “Maomao.”
“Took you long enough.” She mumbled, Jinshi settling both his hands on the side of her face, chuckling at the sleep filled words.
“I came as fast as I could, I always would for you.” He whispered, feeling goosebumps form on her skin at the husk in his voice.
She nodded noncommittally, sitting up and letting her head fall to his chest, his warmth seeping into her body. She looked around the cabin, both the children and the biaoshi missing. If the guard was with them they should be fine, she crossed her fingers they wouldn’t get eaten by wolves.
He combed through her locks, caked with sweat and oil from her travels. She held a hand up “I’m filthy, a prince shouldn’t be touching me in this manner.”
“The prince insists.” She couldn’t argue much with that, melting into his touch. It was an order, she bargained. He tilted her head up to get a good look at her face, his eyes wandering up and down her body in a way that made her heart stutter. “So what’re you supposed to be? Did they do your makeup?”
“A mother of two.” She replied simply, watching the gears work in his brain, along with a pout forming on his shapely lips.
“Who’s the dad?”
She raised an eyebrow at him “How should I know? I’m not actually a mom.”
He fluffed her bangs before roughing them up a bit, Maomao narrowing her eyes at him while he continued “Still, I don’t like it.”
She swat his hand away “So I should never be a mom?”
“Well I didn’t say that.” He lifted her chin up. Those starved eyes burning into her, feeling her body tingle at the sight. She almost felt ill, like when she’d feel floaty before convulsing from a poison she’d ingested.
She nudged him, “Make up your mind, then.”
Jinshi smirked decisively, bringing her face closer to his “Maybe I will.”
She closed her eyes, letting her lips part and feeling his hot breath on her face. It seemed to fall to them, hidden behind a moonlit shadow, none were her previous inhibitions. She waited, only to feel the breath grow chilly on her lips.
She opened her eyes to see Gyokuyou staring at her with icy eyes.
She whipped her head around, hands flailing to feel Jinshi around her, finally turning around to see the imperial castle towering over her. She was minuscule in comparison, scrambling up to find her way in. She felt her feet carry her off, and in no time she was at the entrance.
She looked inside, the Emperor looking like a giant next to a man wearing ceremonial garbs, much like the ones Jinshi wore on that fateful day years prior. An invisible force kept her from running inside, pounding her fists on the glass.
The man turned around, eyes widening seeing her struggle against the glass. It was Jinshi, screaming something to her, something she couldn’t quite hear. He kept yelling, louder, her ears starting to burn and ring.
“…Give it back!” She heard, along with other muffled yells in the background.
She felt her eyes creep open, a loud ringing in her ears as daylight pierced her vision. Her mind pounded with exhaustion, shuffling to close her eyes before hearing another wanton yell that made her wince.
“I’m the man here, I say what you can have.” Gyokujun touted, flicking a stone at his cousin before gathering it and sticking it into his robe. Xiaohong looked on helplessly, seeing Maomaos open eyes and urging her to help.
She groaned, planting a hard knuckle on Gyokujuns head, making him yelp and whip his head back “Why’d you do that so hard today?!”
“Sit down and shut up.” She growled, rubbing her temples, she now had her own things to think about. She tapped her foot on the floor, realizing what she was doing before forcing herself to stop. What a weird dream…
She guessed that’s why he was being so cavalier, no wonder she let that happen so quickly, it was a dream. She felt she needed to keep stating that it was just a dream. She glanced up to see the biaoshi staring at her “What.” She asked a bit tersely.
She shook her head “I didn’t want to disturb you, looks like you had a pleasant dream.”
Not at the end… Wait, she was implying to herself it was pleasant at the beginning. She just slammed a fist on the wooden seat to clear her thoughts.
⋆˚࿔
Well this is not where she thought she’d end up.
Being stranded by the guards, having to console Xiaohong and almost having her head severed off, she could be in worse places than a kitchen. She’s lucky she only got off with a slice on her neck, considering she didn’t even know if she was saying that religious mantra correctly. She very well could’ve pronounced it incorrectly and been tortured for blasphemy, talk about a lucky break.
She peeled the potatoes, the middle aged woman beside her smiling and humming as she worked, occasionally peaking up at Maomao. She tried to keep her head down, focusing on her work helped her not accidentally slip up while she was in disguise.
It’s been some time since she got here and started helping the women, and far too many slip ups. She’d recall an anecdote from working in the palace, leaving the woman confused about some details. She made the mistake about talking about the blue roses, the ladies curious about how she was able to procure them out of season, she simply replied dumb luck. It’s not like she can say many of those things were available and at her disposal because she worked in the imperial capital.
They would also occasionally talk about their husbands, expecting Maomao to do the same.
Many of these women were widowers, or their husbands were being worked to the bone by that bear of a man, so they’d speak wistfully of them like a far off romance.
Xiongxiong, was a widow with two children who simply dabbled in medicine. Maomao, was a childless medical assistant well past marriageable age whose closest ties to a husband being Suiren's excuse for why she visited Jinshi so much. She was simply ‘trained in etiquette’, so she stayed silent for many of these discussions.
Until she couldn’t. In which case she would give vague answers about what he used to do and what their marriage was like.
The ladies across the table from Maomao gabbed while peeling the potatoes, carefully discarding the scraps into a pot. “He always snored so loudly, I would be able to hear it from the next room! I’m able to get a bit of peace here.” The pudgy women huffed.
The brunette next to her nodded “And they always try to be such big men! I can practically hear him saying he can handle it.”
The two continued, Maomao occasionally tuning into the conversation and snorting under her breath at the complaints. Such a feminine atmosphere was something she missed, it reminded her of where she grew up.
The older woman next to her piped up “What about you, Xiongxiong?”
She continued working until the lady shook her shoulder, realizing they were talking to her. She peered up to see the three staring at her for an answer, racking her brain for a gripe she had about her imaginary husband. She put a finger to her chin “Nothing in particular.”
The brunette whined from across her “Come on! There has to be something.”
The pudgy lady beside her grabbed the brunette's shoulder “Biyu, I’m sure she doesn’t want to remember him in a negative light.”
The name made sense, her hair had a red sheen like a jasper, it was common for western women to have light hair. “It’s alright, I truly just can’t think of anything.”
The older lady next to her then spoke “For me, he’s much too clingy.”
This caused Maomaos head to flit towards her “Clingy men are the worst.”
The other paused their cooking to see if they were hearing things, Maomao too stuck on her train of thought continued “Always in your bubble, and you can’t push them away or else they get sulky. Give them an inch and they take a mile.” She grumbled, feeling her ears grow hot “Then you have to just give in…”
She ceased chopping the potatoes, the silence in the room deafening as they all stared at her. That had to be the most she had ever spoken.
“Or when they get jealous.” One spoke.
Maomao scoffed “Don’t even get me started, I mean, it was just a joke. Why did he think I'd even consider it…” She clapped a hand to her face, cringing how she let all her thoughts tumble out.
All the women were squealing now, the older lady next to her looking about ten years younger with a girlish shimmer in her eyes. “I’m starting to think these problems aren’t as bad as I thought.”
She’d let them think she was talking about her apparently clingy, jealous husband.
⋆˚࿔
The best part about her situation was the booze they got. Not that they necessarily got it, it was for the bandits, but Maomao snuck a sip here and there.
Y'know, to check for poison.
She’d been getting particularly sick of the goat milk spirits they had, they were barely alcoholic and she had an upset stomach at the end. However, one day they received a crate, the familiar slosh from the gourds making her grin. She took it upon herself to open this particular shipment, cracking into the crate to see about a dozen bottles. She popped open the cork on one, sniffing the contents. Her eyes almost bulged out of her head at the scent of wine meeting her nose. Though not her first choice, much better than the goats milk.
Unlucky for her, she heard her name being called, so she had to bid farewell to the wine, telling the crate they will meet again shortly. She would breeze through the task and be on her way back, no time spared.
She sat near a basin, washing sweaty, bloodstained garbs for hours. She was feeling tendinitis set in, this may be it for her. Her final wish, that wine.
She was being dramatic, but by the time she was finished it was dark out, she still had a role to play. She had to put her daughter to bed and then go to sleep herself. She wasn’t sure how a mother should act, but she didn't want to rouse suspicion so she was playing it safe. Maomao stretched as she sat up, cracking her joints and neck with a sigh. The bandits had already eaten by this point and undoubtedly drank all the alcohol. She decided to cut her losses, Maomao could have quality alcohol when she made her way back west. Unless they didn’t find her. In which case she’d have to deal with goat milk alcohol for the foreseeable future.
She found Xiaohong, settling down next to her on their cot. She brought the thin blanket up for Xiaohong, patting her head “Goodnight, I’ll wake you in the morning.”
Xiaohong nodded, letting her eyes flutter shut. Maomao wanted to give her more in terms of affection, she’d been separated from her family after all, but she thought it would feel weird coming out of her mouth, so she kept it simple. She stared at the young girl, she wasn’t a mother by any means, but it was the thought that counted.
Like every other night, Maomao lay on her back, the cold nipping at her skin. The west was hot, but much like the north it had frigid nights. She didn’t get much sleep any of these nights, she hadn’t really had a good night's sleep for as long as she’d been away, which she supposed was normal. As long as she could make it through the day she was fine.
She heard Xiaohong's breathing even, making Maomao turn her head to smile softly at her. She truly was brave, she would have to give her lots of candy when this was over. While her head was turned, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around and met eyes with the older woman who she typically worked with, previously finding out her name was Lanxue. Though not as delicate or pale as her name suggested, she was graceful in a sense.
“Care to join us?” Lanxue asked, shaking a gourd in her right hand.
Maomao had never accepted an invitation so quickly.
She followed Lanxue to a corner far from the sleeping cots, where a few women sat, waving as they arrived. Biyu, Lingshi— the pudgy woman with a very fitting name, and two others she hadn’t caught the names of. They all bounced when Lanxue arrived, talking over each other about how excited they were.
“What’s all this?” Maomao asked as she looked over at the woman.
Biyu smiled at her “Sometimes we meet up after the children go to sleep, it’s nice to just talk without working. And now, of course, you know why we’re here.”
One of the women Maomao didn’t know nodded vigorously “They only drank eleven bottles! They didn’t even notice there was one left.”
“We know you can handle your liquor, so we thought we’d ask.” Lingshi chuckled.
Maomao was honored at the invitation, unable to contain her grin, eyes wandering like a pendulum as the gourd swung loosely from the Lanxues hand. Said woman put an arm around her, “You’re one of us now. Community is all we have.” She smiled, though her tone touched with grief.
She then looked around at all the women, all trying their hardest to survive in this world and make the best of the cards they were given. Her stomach sank, although a commoner at heart, she lived a life of privilege and freedom none of them would experience. These women didn’t even know who she was— who she actually was— yet they offered her sanctuary nonetheless.
She felt guilt settle into a pit at the bottom of her stomach, they didn’t know her name, her job, where she was from. She was about to just say she should call it a night, when Lanxue continued, noticing her frown “We all have our skeletons, but let’s forget about them while we’re here, hm?”
Maomao nodded, settling down next to the other women.
It was Lingshi who took the first step, her face puckering “My, this is sour!”
Biyu snatched the bottle from her, sniffing the contents “Are you sure this isn’t spoiled?”
“Whatever, it’s all still booze.” One of the ladies shrugged, taking a swig from the bottle then sighing. She handed the gourd to Maomao, which she happily took.
She took a sip from the top, licking the remnants off her lip “It’s not spoiled, at least not totally.” She took yet another sip, a contented smile on her lips.
Biyu scoffed in disgust “How can you drink that? It totally tastes like vinegar.”
Maomao grunted noncommittally “Tastes nostalgic.”
They all tilted their heads at her, when Maomao gave them a not totally boring answer, they would pry. “Hmmm? How so?”
She hummed in thought, amethyst eyes invading her mind at the thought of sour alcohol. The man had probably been drinking spoiled wine for a while before Maomao let him know it was vinegar. She noticed the shift in the taste when doing her medical visits, the taste being more refined but still a bit sour in an intentional way. She would usually help herself after she finished her examination, letting him complain about whatever while she sipped her drink.
One of the ladies chimed in, “Did your husband like alcohol like this?”
There they go again with the husbands, but she should probably add some bits in there. Just to make her story more believable and satisfy their nightly gossip.
“Something like that.” It wasn’t a yes or a no, vague just the way she liked it.
They didn’t look completely satisfied, but Maomao just took another sip and changed the conversation.
⋆˚࿔
Maomao's stomach turned, though she was confident in her plan, there was a slight chance it wouldn’t work. Some things can slip and ruin everything no matter how hard one works.
She just felt guilty that Xiaohong also had to get involved in this, but it would make things easier in the end if her plan worked. The days of planning and putting it into action were exhausting, so she excused herself for a breather.
As much as she didn’t want to admit it, being here had weighed on her both mentally and physically. She was having to grow accustomed to near constant labor again, this wasn’t any quack office where they could have a snack break. Her mind had also been racing with possibilities of her fate, worried if they’d send for her at all. They had to or else the freak strategist would cause a fuss, but that was a given.
She was wondering why a certain someone wasn’t causing more of a fuss.
Not that she particularly cared much as long as he was making steady progress, it could be a little more urgent, though.
She settled down near a window overlooking the desolate streets, not a soul in sight. The buildings were empty, pillaged from top to bottom, making this big town look eerie. It’s hard to believe it was once a bustling trade city. She stared at the streets with half lidded eyes, crossing her arms on the ledge and resting her cheek upon her hands.
“How many weeks has it even been…” She mumbled, trailing her finger across the street expanse in front of her, like a person walking along the road. “Miss Maomao, Miss Maomao!” She spoke in a whisper while bobbing her finger “The Moon Prince summons you!”
Her brows turned down, putting her hand in her sleeve and cringing. She truly was going stir crazy.
“Imagining someone coming to rescue you, huh?” A woman behind her spoke. Maomao turned around to see Lingshi looking at her with a knowing gaze, moving to sit next to her. “Sometimes I do too.”
She simply looked at her then back to the streets, shrugging. Her lack of response didn’t deter her, though “It’s silly, but sometimes I imagine my husband on a horse screaming my name.” She chuckled self deprecatingly to herself “Pretty weird, right?”
Maomao stared at the scenery, or lack thereof, not letting her voice waver “Not a bit.”
She still remembers the Shi Fortress like it was yesterday. She had imagined all the horses and soldiers clamoring in here, moving across the desolate land. Though they wouldn’t put on the theatrics for some brutish bandits, she had to entertain herself somehow.
“Do you ever imagine that?” Lingshi tilted her head.
It was just pure delusion for the sake of entertainment, but she supposed she did. “Sometimes.”
The ladies had learned not to be deterred by her short answers, and would comfortably continue talking. “Like a prince charming?”
“Nothing like that.” She said quickly, waving her hand back and forth. Though maybe other women would consider Jinshi prince charming, Maomao knew better. He was just a brat who couldn’t change his bandages properly. “Not a prince charming by any means…” She mumbled
Lingshi perked up, eyes going sly. “So you do have someone in mind.”
Her head shot up, almost spooking the pudgy woman next to her. She wasn’t any helpless maiden who had fantasies about a knight in shining armor coming to save her. Why did her mind go to Jinshi so naturally, though? She doesn’t enjoy how much she’s fretted over him since she’s been gone. She guesses it’s natural because he has the most influence about how things run, so how she’s saved is ultimately up to him.
There, that’s why she associates the two.
“No, not at all.” She said simply, resuming her previous resting position.
Lingshi grinned “I was like you when I was younger. When my husband died I’d imagine him walking through the door. I’d always deny it, but he was constantly on my mind.”
Maomao chuckled, “I think you have the wrong idea.”
“There’s no need to deny it. It can seem embarrassing but having a little romance in life makes it interesting.” She hummed “Ah, to be young again.”
She was silent for a minute, letting her mind wander before saying “I suppose you’re right.”
“Oh my! We must get you something to cool off, you look a little flushed.” Lingshi smiled knowingly.
Maomao put a hand to her face, feeling slightly warm. Just the sun, she had been getting tanned from the constant exposure. “No need.” She got up from her seat, continuing to do her work.
She occasionally put a hand to her cheek to see if she still was, Lingshi giggling each time.
⋆˚࿔
She felt like she was the one being caught doing something when Shikyou and the biaoshi group came. You can imagine their surprise when they barged in to arrest the bandits only to see them convulsing on the ground with Maomao in the middle of the chaos.
Chue made comments about never wanting to get on her bad side, says the girl who was prancing around her in disguise. She would have to ask Chue how she was able to conceal her appearance so well, though. She would probably just get some ‘trade secret’ nonsense, though.
Beyond all the chaos, Maomao felt her eyes wander around the group, grumbling frustratedly under her breath. Chue shook Maomao, “Whatcha looking for, Miss Maomao?”
What was she looking for? “Nothing, Miss Chue.”
“Hmmm? It’s a shame the Moon Prince didn’t come along, right?” Chue mused, nodding her head as she held her chin.
Maomao just raised an eyebrow at her, it’s not like she was unconsciously looking for him “I’m aware he has his duties, he can’t trouble himself coming here.”
“Oh but, Miss Maomao! You don’t even know the chaos in the main house! Moon Prince hasn’t slept in weeks!” Chue cried.
Maomao rolled her eyes, “He should stop overworking himself, then.”
Chue took a handkerchief out of her sleeve and dabbed her eyes “You have no heart, Miss Maomao.”
Once in the carriage, Maomao rested her head on the side and let her eyes shut. She wasn’t upset he wasn’t here, he had his own priorities and is kind of bound to the main house. Dealing with the You siblings, determining a successor and handling the freak could take a fair chunk out of a person's time. What was that roll in her stomach, though?
It was similar to when a poison didn’t pack as much of a punch as she expected it to. Or when her father would be too busy to teach her something new. Like when Yao eats all of En’en’s sweet and sour pork.
It felt nagging, though.
Maybe she had a scrape in her mouth she didn’t know about and the snake venom was seeping into her body. It wouldn’t start at her stomach, she sighed.
It was back to reality, though, she felt she was being a bit too blasé about her current situation. All she could think about was what Jinshi had figured out about Hulan. Curiosity seethed through her, she should be bold and request he brief her next time she visits. Taomei might cause a storm should she be so brazen.
As the carriage rocked along, her eyes widened at the jockey as she peered out the curtain. Silky purple hair peaked out of a low, neat bun, had he really been here the whole time without saying hi?
She might as well take it upon herself, maybe he could reward her with some rare medicine for her struggles and his cheek. “Master Jin—“
“Master Jinshan!” Chue interrupted before turning to Maomao “Do you know him, Miss Maomao?”
This Jinshan fella turned around, Maomao unconsciously slacking her jaw. Definitely not Jinshi, perhaps that’s why he was given such luscious hair, to compensate for everything else he was cursed with. She slowly came back into the carriage, putting her face in her hands.
Chue giggled, “Mistaken identity? Who could you possibly think it was?” She teased.
It would be a long trip home.
⋆˚࿔
Maomao rubbed her eyes, bleary from the first full nights rest she’d been given in months. Her hand roved over the right side of the bed, a warmth emanating from the spot just next to her. It took her a moment to realize she was still in Jinshi's room. No sooner did Chue's words ring in her ear, making her sit up with a groan.
This had to be wholly improper given their relationship and her status. Sleeping with each other like that, although she didn’t care many would. She thought for a moment, frowning, she oughta accept that their relationship went beyond that of servant and master, much as it made her heart singe. She shouldn’t take propriety too seriously, this was comparably innocent to what they have done, though still scandalous to anyone else. The unmarried, sexless Moon Prince and a servant girl in bed together, didn’t sound as wholesome as it actually was, though rumors didn’t care much for the boring truth. Though, if word got out to the freak there’d be hell. Maomao was starting to think people knew more about their supposed relationship than herself, though.
They had fallen asleep together, but he was no longer here. She wasn’t sure if they had slept in the same bed, if he hadn’t the best case was a scolding from Suiren, the worst of which was her head rolling along the floor. The only memory was her body on top of his, head tucked comfortably in his shoulder. Most sane men of his stature would never allow the likes of her in their presence in such a state, but she supposed he had strange penchants. Her fingers crinkled over the sheets as she nodded to herself, it would be bad if he had slept on the floor all night. The thought to ask crossed her mind, kindly asking for him to keep his mouth shut if he did lest she be trampled with punitory chores. She felt her ears heat up, questioning herself on if that was the only reason. Maomao tugged at her hair, she supposed it would be a comfort if they had been together as well. She quickly determined to not ask.
She ran her fingers along the side next to her own, making a frustrated noise as she puffed her cheeks. Was it really necessary he go back to work so early? He had seemed so exhausted last night, it was clear from how dark his eyes were, it took him less than ten minutes to doze off. He worked himself too hard.
Her expression softened, perhaps she also had a twinge of curiosity as to what it would’ve been like to wake up next to him. Opening her eyes to his beautiful, frustrating face, the lone scar dragging across his right cheek, a mar that inexplicably made him more desirable. The warmth of his body heating hers, waking fully to his hand brushing her face, his supple lips on her own. She stared off while she thought, a curl in her stomach forming, though not of discomfort. She dug her nails into her stomach and shook her head. Her mind was going rogue.
Damn Chue. Now she couldn’t just ignore those thoughts.
She was still a bit perplexed by the words, but maybe it was her who had to wake up and smell the coffee.
What exactly did she feel for him?
The first thing that came to mind was tired.
There were numerous occasions he would hold her in an embrace, the few lingering touches, where her body would temper to his. She never could have imagined falling asleep so fast after the events she had experienced, but she did just that. She was used to restless nights, tossing, the sudden waking even when out of dangers reach. The world fell to nothing in his embrace. It was as perplexing as it was vexing. Even with her father she would have fitful sleeps, but she supposed her little shack of a home was less secure than a prince's room. When Maomao's father would pat her head, telling her to go to sleep, a lingering agitation still ate at her.
She felt unreasonably safe with Jinshi, even though his passion could burn her to a crisp in an instant.
That passion, perhaps it had rubbed off on her. She brushed her lips, a loitering warmth clinging to them. She held her cheeks with both hands, both warm though one side fevering more than the other, how come?
She didn’t understand that, yet she found there were many things she realized she didn’t understand. Maomao wasn’t one to control herself around such potent bane, she feared this wasn’t an exception either.
What a pain, this was out of her expertise. She wouldn’t go as far to say it was that, but she had a strange affection for the man. Maybe she’d been wrong about leaving that feeling in the womb, with him she noticed she was wrong about a lot of things. She didn’t like it much, but as of recent she hadn’t been minding it. She straightened up on the bed, lounging on her hands with a sigh. She couldn’t feign naïveté to Jinshi anymore, perhaps it was her turn. Ignorance was truly bliss.
Maomao brushed a hand through her hair, greasy and smelling of iron rust. It truly was a wonder he was eager to let her inside like this. That he would no matter the circumstance. She looked vacantly down at herself, blood dried under her overgrown nails, digits trembling slightly. Her clothes and face were caked in dirt and other fluids she’d rather not think about, body bruised and scraped. She truly looked like a mess, similar to how she felt. The disarray was tidied in his arms, though.
She felt exhaustion settle into her limbs, despite having just woken up. Maomao was beginning to understand why he recharged, she sure could use that right now.
Would anyone blame her if she meekly said she wanted to see him? Probably only herself.
This wasn’t like her. It felt like finding out you had some weird birth mark after twenty years, had that been there the whole time?
She kicked her legs off the bed, letting them dangle before she stood up. She desperately needed a bath, a cold one. Maybe that would quell the pulsing heat in her veins. She sighed while making the ultimate walk of shame out the door, it wouldn’t happen.
And she felt strangely calm admitting it. Save for the unfamiliar ache in her body, one she couldn’t find herself denying.
Would he still hold true on his promise made just a year prior? The thought made her shiver as she walked to the dorms, likely dawning in girlish decoration courtesy of the quack. She actually quite missed him. Maomao cracked her neck, a bit of tension alleviated. Maybe she could get treated to a nice meal tonight, of course she had to have a drink with it.
A sour wine sounded rather good right now.