Chapter Text
It hurt. It hurt a lot when the moon rose, burning his insides when that silver glow touched his fur. Like a roiling lake of acid under his skin, the agony was near unbearable. He was glad he remained in bed this time, anticipating this. Last time, he’d been standing and he’d knocked his head pretty hard when his legs instantly failed him. That was alarming enough. Then the pain had worsened and he’d had to bite his own arm to keep the keening whine from escaping his throat. But he’d learnt the hard way that it was a mistake to do that, his teeth ripping through his own flesh so easily as they sharpened like a boning knife. The taste of his own blood wasn’t very pleasant and had made him gag. So this time, he lay there on his stomach rigidly, teeth grit and claws sinking into the blanket beneath him. He felt hot, so hot, his ears flattening.
It always started in his chest first. Stabbing, burning pain blooming along his ribs. It climbed up and down his spine next, clawing at the back of his head, at his ears, all along his jaw and behind his eyes. Then in his lower back and tail, shooting down his legs. A horrible jolt travelled along his arms, making his fingers go numb and he yelped. It settled as a persistent, throbby ache for a while and would stay like that for a good half an hour.
There was an extra spike that jolted his system like an electric shock. Blinding, stealing the breath from his lungs. He’d have shrieked if he’d had the oxygen to. Honestly, he was sort of glad he didn’t.
On the bright side, it seemed like he was starting to get used to the pain. He barely screamed this time. That felt like a really bad thing but Sonic couldn’t give less of a toss right now. His mind was foggy and he was frankly just relieved that it was over once more. He let out a puff of air that ended with a groan. One last tremble wracked his body then he relaxed into the blanket, ignoring that it was now tattered and sweaty, shreds of fabric caught under his claws. He dragged his hands against the bed to free some of it. Sonic had the foresight to shed his gloves before he ruined yet another pair but he hadn’t quite thought about his bedding.
Hey, at least it wasn’t his favourite blanket – that one was in the wash.
Finally pushing himself up to his knees, he grimaced at the spit on his pillow and sticking in the fur on his cheek. He swiped the back of his hand over his muzzle in disgust. Sonic shook out his fur and quills, still reeling from the feeling of his own tail. He wasn’t quite used to just how long and weighty it was in this form yet. It was only the fourth time this had happened and it was all so weird.
It was kind of similar to the form he’d gained after the world split apart but so wildly different. They were certainly connected but Sonic at least liked that he wasn’t so bulky anymore. Not that he liked going through this stupid pain every night. He’d hated the form he’d had – which Tails had dubbed the ‘werehog,’ to which Sonic had rolled his eyes with a huff – after Dark Gaia’s energy had invaded his everything. It had been clunky and slow and not him. This version was more streamlined, a tad faster, though not coming close to his usual speed. The old one had taken some getting used to but somehow this one left him feeling even weirder. A stranger in his own skin.
And he and Tails hadn’t a clue why it was happening.
It really shouldn’t be, which was extremely concerning. Sonic thought Dark Gaia had taken all of the energy back. But after a few days of nothing, where they’d believed Sonic’s problem to be solved, it surged back, so much more painful than before. Tails had found traces of that odd energy woven through his DNA, spliced throughout his own energy and his genetic code. It had seeped deep into everything, the fox’s current theory being that Dark Gaia hadn’t been able to take it all back because a trace of it had already become a part of him. Which was absolutely horrifying.
Sonic absolutely could not deal with this every night. He couldn’t. The first night it had severely disrupted his sleep and Sonic hadn’t really been able to drift off properly since. That whole mess with Mobius fracturing had already thrown of Sonic’s circadian rhythm big time. He’d started to fix it before this reared it’s ugly head. Now he had no hope of getting back to a normal sleep schedule. He found himself taking much more frequent naps during the day to accommodate. His brain was so wired at night now, making it really difficult to sleep. He became restless and frustrated and Tails reported him becoming way more irritable in general.
He didn’t always notice himself. Probably on account of said irritability.
With half lidded eyes, Sonic ran a hand through his quills to try and smooth them. They felt a little longer but not any sharper than usual, which was surprising. This form made his teeth and claws three times more jagged but for some reason didn’t alter his quills much. He wondered if it was because they were already super sharp to begin with. He didn’t really care anymore.
He was just confused why this form was so different to the old one. It’s not like it was a partial transformation; in fact, parts of his body changed that hadn’t previously. His ears were bigger, tail longer, fuzzier. All his fur was longer and thicker. Most of it was the same deep, midnight blue it had been last time. But that very pale, powdery blue that had once only tipped his quills and ruffled around his wrists had spread. Now it covered his hands, his chest and muzzle, tips of his ears, tail and feet. A remnant of that extra thick fur remained around his wrists, his ankles and trailed further up the back of his calves. The pads of his hands and feet were the same blue as his fur, rougher and more calloused than they used to be. Frankly, with his claws as they were, it was easier to forgo his shoes and gloves entirely. If he ruined his sneakers he’d probably cry. For some reason, Dark Gaia’s energy had effected his garments before but not anymore, which was extremely inconvenient. Less energy to work with, he supposed. Still didn’t explain why this form was so different.
Sonic yawned with a stretch. His eye caught a glint of the moon and the urge to howl overcame him. He fought it down angrily with a growl instead and crawled off his bed. He despised how his voice sounded like this too. Not quite as deep as it used to be but still gruff and scratchy. Harsh.
He hated this form.
Trying to ignore the ache in his arms, Sonic yanked open his door and stalked down the stairs. It wasn’t quite late enough for Tails to be in bed yet but Sonic really didn’t want to go through his transformation in front of his brother. It wasn’t pleasant to experience and it couldn’t have been a fun watch either. Tails had come running that first night when he’d screamed like a victim in a slasher film. But Sonic had snapped at Tails to stay away. He regretted scaring his brother like that but in his defence he’d thought he was dying. Tails did not need to see that.
When he dragged himself into the kitchen, Tails was there with a glass of water. The fox offered him one. Sonic shook his head, vaguely sick. The idea of putting anything in his mouth right now was nauseating.
“How are you feeling?” Tails asked.
Sonic huffed, dropping into a chair at the table with all the grace of a sack of rice. He propped his elbow up on the surface of the table and dropped his chin into his hand. His ears were still pulled back, eyelids stuck halfway down. But he was awake, still so awake, energy buzzing through his veins akin to chugging a gallon of coffee. It was so annoying.
“I’ll take that as not good.”
Tails sat down beside him, tails flicking. He looked nervous. Sonic gave him a sidelong glance, eyes narrowed. His brother fiddled with his glass for a beat before putting it down with a sigh. Sonic didn’t like the sound, it made his fingers twitch.
“What’s up?” Sonic asked, wincing at his own voice.
“I want to run a few more tests,” Tails mumbled hesitantly. “But… that means I’m gonna need some more blood.”
He grimaced at Tails, tightening his jaw. Sonic felt the tip of his tail twitch against his will.
“If you want me to find a way to stop this,” Tails said. “I’m going to have to run tests, Sonic. I don’t really know if there is a way to fix this but I won’t know unless you let me try.”
His brother was right, of course. But Sonic really didn’t want to deal with anymore tests. Tails hadn’t done many yet, to be fair. But two were enough for Sonic. A blood test and a full body scan which he’d had to lie still for. It had taken twenty minutes. But Sonic had grown impatient and moved, making Tails have to take the scan again. Which meant another twenty minutes. And, after it was done, Sonic shook himself out and had to run around the outside of the house repeatedly until his nerves had calmed. He may have ended up rolling on the ground to rid himself of the tingly feeling along his skin too. It had been awful. And a little embarrassing.
“How much?” Sonic grumbled.
“Two vials.”
Sonic groaned, letting his head drop against the table with a resounding thud. Tails rubbed a hand down his back. It was kind of nice. The new thickness of his fur made it feel different and it was the one thing Sonic didn’t hate. His brother didn’t either, judging by the way he carded his fingers through the fur beneath his quills. Sonic wondered if it was soothing to Tails too. He considered asking but it was too embarrassing a thought to voice. They sat like that for a moment while Sonic collected himself. It took him a while but Tails was understandingly patient.
He absolutely did not like needles.
After a sigh, Sonic rose his head. His brother gave him a quick pat on the back and stood from his chair. Willing himself to move, Sonic pulled himself up from his own seat and followed Tails reluctantly through to the garage. He somehow managed to drag his feet worse than earlier. He plonked himself down in Tails’ swivel chair and folded his arms, pouting. Tails already had all his equipment prepared. Sonic was trying his best not to look at any of it. When his brother held out his hand for his arm, Sonic hesitated. Then he extended his arm, palm up and turned his head away.
A cushion was put over the armrest for Sonic to rest his elbow on. He kept his other arm crossed over his chest. One ear was flicked over in Tails’ direction, listening to him moving about, shifting his tools. First, Tails affixed a band around Sonic’s upper arm which he tightened – he remembered being told that it was called a tourniquet. Two of Tails’ gloveless fingers came to gently tap at his inner elbow. Nothing was happening yet but Sonic still grit his teeth. Next came a damp cotton ball that Tails swiped over the area, some sort of disinfectant. The acrid smell hit him really hard. Nice to know his sense of smell was higher now too. Wonderful. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. Sonic had always disliked that smell. Reminded him of hospitals. Tails told him to make a loose fist – it probably wouldn’t stay loose for long. After one last tap-tap-tap to check where he was going, Tails let out a breath.
“It’ll be over quick, promise.”
The fox didn’t bother with that bullshit, “Just a scratch,” line. The first time Tails had drawn his blood, he’d said that. Sonic had jerked away from him at once, causing him to drop the little needle. It definitely didn’t feel like a scratch. Sonic had been scratched before and that was not that. You usually didn’t tend to feel the thing scratching you stay there either. He’d hated that feeling so, so much. That was when he’d decided that nothing that wasn’t already in his body should ever be in it. Ever. Tails had still managed to find ways around that since. But Sonic only trusted Tails with his stuff. He outright refused to enter a hospital.
When he felt the needle piece his skin, Sonic jolted. He let out a growl, low and menacing. Much more menacing than he’d intended. His deeper voice was really working against him in that regard. Sonic kicked out, toppling a box filled with nuts and bolts. His brother didn’t even mention it, likely knowing if anything else had been closer it would have been obliterated instead. Genuinely, picking up some scattered bolts was probably the preferred outcome. Sonic scrunched his eyes closed, trying to avoid curling his claws into his own side.
“One vial; just a little longer,” Tails assured. “You’re doing so well.”
Sonic huffed. He was getting ready to hop up from the chair already, tip of his tail twitching once more. Tails muttered something else that he didn’t quite catch. Sonic’s toes flexed against the cold concrete floor, impatience reaching an all time high. He barely felt the needle slide out of his arm but the moment Tails loosened the tourniquet, Sonic pulled away from the fox and leaped away from the chair. He shook out his fur. Tails stood there, holding a plaster but Sonic didn’t want it. He lapped a stripe along the crook of his elbow, tasting the metallic tang along his tongue. It didn’t make him gag this time, mostly because he’d felt compelled to clean the area. It wasn’t the first time, though he couldn’t really blame the Gaia energy for this one. Sonic had done this since he was a kid with minor wounds. Though, honestly, he hadn’t done it much for a while until this whole mess.
So maybe he could blame the Gaia energy. Just a little bit.
His eyes settled on the two little vials containing his blood on the desk and his quills bristled. It wasn’t that he wasn’t used to seeing his own blood – Chaos, he’d probably seen more of that than the average mobian at this point – it was seeing it collected in such a way that had something squirming inside him. He’d always hated it though he wasn’t sure why. Sonic just knew he didn’t want to stay in this room any longer.
Instead of going back through to the kitchen, Sonic opened the garage door and slunk out into the dark. The light from the garage cast a glowing arc over the cleared dirt patch outside. And, for an odd moment, Sonic felt caught in it, unsafe. He shifted until he was on the outskirts of that light, just inside the shadows of early night. His eyes flicked up to watch Tails who hadn’t yet bothered to close the door. The fox had sat down and was running a drop of his blood through some system, testing it for Chaos knew what. For a moment, Sonic skirted around the light, pacing alongside that arc restlessly, almost afraid to actually step back into it. Which was silly. No one was around but his brother. He couldn’t be safer out here in the Mystic Ruins. But he just felt better out here in the darkness. Something inside him was quelled in the quiet, cool air.
He sat down for a moment, right at the edge of the light. Tails got up from his chair for a moment, after hooking up one of the vials to some kind of machine, and turned around. He called out Sonic’s name. The hedgehog leaned slightly so his muzzle caught the light, allowing the fox to be able to see him. Tails stalled for a moment, blinking. Then he shook his head and smiled at Sonic. The kind of smile that said, “You’re not going to like what I’m about to say.”
“I think it would be best to tell everyone what’s going on,” Tails said carefully.
Ears twitching, Sonic frowned. He leaned back out of the light, as though that could save him from this conversation. But he dared not go any further. Sonic knew this was coming eventually but he really, really didn’t want to have this conversation. He didn’t want to tell anyone about this. They didn’t need to know. Sonic settled back on his hands, digging his claws into the earth. He knew Tails could not see him, at least not very well, but he still felt weirdly exposed.
“Why?” he mumbled. “You’re going to fix this, aren’t you?”
“Sonic I… I’m not really sure it’s possible,” Tails responded with a sigh. “I’m going to try everything I can, I promise, but I can’t guarantee anything. You know that right? You can’t live confined to the house every night because you’re worried about running into someone we know. And constantly keeping an eye on the sky so that you have time to run back here isn’t good for you.”
Sonic made a non-committal sound in the back of his throat. If they had to talk about this, he’d rather talk when his arms weren’t heavy and tingly and he wasn’t miserable and tired. His brother sighed but backed off, returning to his desk to continue tinkering with what ever it was he was doing with Sonic’s blood. He still didn’t close the door or question what Sonic was doing. Though he didn’t really know himself. Sonic just felt better sitting where he was. He released the fistfuls of dirt he had, grimacing as it caught under his claws. Sonic shook out his hands to dislodge it and shifted until he was comfortable again. He could keep watching Tails but he had no idea what the fox was doing and he was starting to get bored. Emerald eyes distractedly trailed up, stopping at the roof of the house. He tilted his head.
Maybe he’d watch the stars for a little while. Hell, there was no way he was sleeping yet.
After a quick stretch, Sonic rose to his feet. He skirted the ring of light once more and headed for where his window was. Running alongside it up the majority of the wall was a trellis that had a Virginia creeper growing up it. Usually the leaves were green but for a brief moment in autumn, they turned a vibrant, shocking red. Sonic had seen the plant on a house years ago before they’d had a place to call their own and he’d vowed to plant one the moment he had the chance. It had grown about halfway up the trellis by now and it was just starting to go red. He was careful not to dislodge any of the leaves as he climbed his way up, making his way to the roof.
The moment he reached the top, silver light spilled across the roof, as though the moon had been waiting for him. It peaked out from behind the cloud it had been confined to, throwing his shadow across the shingles, monstrous and large. Sonic huffed, trying to ignore it as he pulled himself up the rest of the way. He sprawled himself along the roof, stretching all his limbs out. There, he stayed for a few minutes, just enjoying the cool shingles against his fur, seeping through to his skin. Part of him wondered if he liked being outside even more in this form because of his fur. Sonic ran hot all the time and the thicker covering of fur he had now was really not helping. He was sweltering in all this damn fur. Eyes closed, Sonic furrowed his brow and rolled over to a different section of roof, chasing that cold feeling. Sighing, he finally rose up to his knees and turned around to sit against the roof so he could see the sky.
That was a mistake.
As soon as he looked up, he came face to face with the large half moon. Staring up at it, that odd desire swirled up inside him again and he couldn’t help himself. Sonic let out a long, drawn out howl that made him feel a little less constricted. His lungs felt clearer as the sound left his body, piercing the stagnant night air. The sound seemed to bounce off the clouds, enveloping him. It sounded sort of eerie. Sonic felt both silly but fulfilled all at once. But also very, very silly. Extremely silly, once he stopped. His howl trailed off as realisation set in.
Sonic ran a hand down his face, forcing down a groan. He really hoped Tails hadn’t heard that…