Chapter Text
The snow crunches underneath my feet as I look up at the house.
…Snowdin, huh?
Papyrus is already inside. I sent him in earlier to start setting up the place. He's already introduced himself to practically everyone he could see, I think. The people here are nice. He'll be friends with them soon.
I smile as I turn back to the town, deciding to just walk across instead of using a shortcut. I've got no reason to be in a rush, I guess.
We only just recently moved in, so I don't really know many of the people here. I mean, I know they're good people. I'm assured of that, at least. Just dunno how they're like.
“YO!” I step back as the kid falls into the snow in front of me. He pulls himself out as I chuckle.
“yo. how're you doing?” He beams. Got a lot of energy, I'll give him that.
“I'm a kid! Monster kid!” I laugh under my breath. “your name is monster kid?” He nods excitedly. “Yeah! At least, that's what everyone calls me. You seem really cool! What's your name, new guy?”
I hold out a hand. “the names sans. sans the skeleton.”
…
I wince as I realize my mistake. “you, uh, can't shake my hand, can you?” He giggles. “What, didn't notice my lack of arms?”
“heh.” I walk past him, moving towards… “Grillbys!” The kid smiles as he looks up at me. “It's our fast food joint! You should try the burgers! Or the fries? Do you like hotdogs? I like hotdogs!” I hold my hand out, closing my eyes and smiling. “woah woah woah buddy. talking a bit fast there.” He laughs. “I know, I know! It's just been a while since there's been new faces here!”
I open the door, a bell going off. Theres… a lot of dogs in here. They all bark in greetings. “hey everyone.”
A small dog with a shield jumps off the table, bounding towards me. “woah-!”
Sniff sniff… That was… interesting.
“That's lesser dog! He's not actually lesser. He's just smaller than greater dog!” I nod. “and I'm assuming that hunk of fur is greater dog.” He nods excitedly. “Pet lesser dog! I swear something funny will happen!”
Alright. I pet him… and his neck grows longer. I pet him again. Longer.
“I see where this is going. I'm not doing any more of that.” I smile as I push a whining lesser dog away. Monster kid frowns. “You're no fun…” I walk up to the counter as Monster Kid nuzzles with lesser dog.
“heya. I'm sans. sans the skeleton.” I hold out a hand…
pffffftttt……
…
I smile. “the ol’ woopie cushion in the hand trick. works every time.”
The man in front of me crosses his arms over his chest. He is made almost entirely of fire other than his suit. Cool. He does not look pleased. “alright, alright. I do have an actual order. can I have some ketchup?” He appears… confused. I smile.
“just ketchup. I don't need anything else.” He groans as he reaches under the desk, handing me a whole thing of ketchup. “thanks, pal. what's your name?”
He speaks in a low, almost silent voice. “Grillby. Didn't you read the sign?” I chuckle. “I just didn't expect the manager to also be the cook and cashier.” I can't really tell, but beneath his flaming exterior, it looks like he smiles.
I silently drink the ketchup as the people around me chatter. I'm kinda tired from setting up the house, so I'll just be quiet for today. I set down the bottle of ketchup. “thanks, grillby.” He nods, taking the bottle back. “my house is the one all the way down by the entrance to waterfall. email your bills there. I'll get to em, I promise.” He looks skeptical, but he nods again. “thank you.”
I head out the door. Papyrus said he wanted some culture around our house. Well… where better to find human culture than the dump?
Good thing I know a shortcut.
I walk into the dump from the north, looking around. Piles and piles of garbage. Perfect. There's gotta be something worth taking here.
I walk up to a pile, rummaging through it. Some old CDs. Maybe they've got something worth listening to. I put them in my coat pocket. I move to a different pile. A painting? A bone with a green background. Classy. I will take note of that for later.
Some old Christmas lights… well, it shouldn't be too hard a job to repair the ones that are broken. It's just shattered glass, mostly.
“Um… hello?” Huh?
I turn around, looking at the other end of the dump. Oh, it's another monster. I walk up, the water dripping around me.
“heya. I'm sans. sans the skeleton.” She gasps. “A skeleton!? I-its been so long since there were skeletons down here! And your f-font is comic sans, right?” Well, she's educated. I laugh and nodded. “yup. you sure know a lot about us, don't you? what are you, some kind of fan?” I tease.
She picks up on it and crosses her arms across her chest in mock annoyance. “No, I'm just curious. I-I'm the royal scientist!” What?
“there's a royal scientist job down here?” She nods. “Yeah! I oversee any projects- u-usually about the barrier and such.”
“hmm. so you're the best mind in the underground, then?” She blushes at the sentiment. “W-well, I wouldn't go ahead a-and say that, but… according to A-asgore, sure!” I nod. “that's funny. what's someone like you doing at the dump?” She freezes for a second before clearly making something up on the spot.
“Oh! Im… looking for… human… things?” She covers her eyes in embarrassment. “I'm looking for a new episode of a Manga. Don't judge me.” I pause for a second.
“heh. I didn't expect the greatest mind in the underground to be a weeb.” Her eyes widened at the mention of that. “How- how do you know what weeb means?? Nobody knows what weeb means nowadays??” I only smile.
“must've heard it somewhere. don't mind me, I'm just looking for stuff to put in my house.” I turn back to the dump before I feel like I'm being… analyzed.
“you shouldn't check people without permission, you know?” I shoot. I don't know if she actually did, I'm just…
“U-um. Sorry. I just… was curious, and…” I sigh. Here we go again.
“1 ATK? 1 DEF-?” She pulls her glasses back up onto her eyes. “I- you don't seem like s-someone who only has that much… power.” I turned back to her. “well, it's how it is. no point moping over it, y'know?”
…
I turn to leave. I'll just take the Christmas lights and the painting-
“W-wait!” I turn to look at her. “hmm?” She scratches behind her head, looking away. “Um- I'm sorry for checking you. I-I should've asked. But I have one l-last request.” I shrug, smiling. “shoot.”
“Could you… summon an attack? J-just a bone.” Huh. How long has it been since I've had to do that? I never bothered getting in a fight, considering my condition. Well…
“sure.” I flick my hand upwards, a single bone appearing in front of Alphys. “Okay. I'm gonna…” She hesitates. “I'm gonna touch it! And it's gonna be fine. Because you only have 1 ATK.” I shrug. “don't see why not.”
She reaches her hand out, her finger touching the end of the bone…
”Mettaton? Mettaton?” Where is he!? We're supposed to be ready for the demo with Asgore today…
“Darling, I'll be there in a minute! Give me some time to prepare, Alphys~!” This'll be fine… this is a great achievement! A sentient robot?
…
A ghost in a robot…?
“whuh-?” Ugh… I picked myself off the floor. What just happened? Alphys?
“alphys?”
She is on the other side of the dump, in front of my bone. Passed out, or…
“shit.” I run over to Alphys, crouching down at her side. “uhh…” I don't know any healing magic. I didn’t expect that… I mean, i knew i could attack with no cooldowns, but-
GASP! I stumble backwards, falling on my back.
“alphys!? you alright?!” She rubs her head. “Ufh- yeah? I-i feel weird…” She trembles. “Did you see something just now-?” I nod. “I saw… you? or- your memory of something. I don't know.” She gulps audibly.
“D-dont tell anybody about that. Please.” I nod. “not a single soul. monster or human.” I smile.
“hmmph- haha-!” She covers her mouth. “S-sorry, that wasn't that funny…”
“well, you can't expect every one to be a rib tickler.”
…
She's attempting to hold in her laughter. “Sans, that was even worse…”
“you’re smiling.” She groans. “Yes, but that’s because of h-how bad the joke is.”
She adjusts her glasses as I grab her hand and help her to her feet. “So you have one attack- but some kind of… power? Ability? I-I’ve never seen memory manipulation before! Or- not memory manipulation? Just the ability to view the past-?” I hold my hand out. “I’m not in the mood to be experimented on, alphys. at least, not right now.”
I turn back to the dump. “R-right, sorry… just interesting, you know?” I nod. “guess it is. I’ve never sparred with anyone other than papyrus, and i wasn’t alive for the war.” I knew my combat style was weird, but I didn’t know I could see into the past.
“for obvious reasons, it’s not like i’ve tested combat magic extensively. The whole 1 DEF thing kinda makes that impossible.” She nods. “Yeah, I g-got that. Do you have a phone? M-maybe we could talk about this some other time.” I pull mine out. It's pretty basic, with just a call function. “Really?” She seems offended at its mere presence. “I’m upgrading this. W-where's your house? I’ll just deliver it to you.”
I take a shortcut back to the house, with a painting, lights, and some CDs in tow. Jackpot.
I lightly push open the door. I don’t know if he’s gone to sleep, but if I know him, he hasn’t.
“hey, bro. i’m home.” I call out into the mostly empty house.
…
Someone's rummaging around upstairs. “bro?”
“COMING, COMING!” Papyrus comes down the stairs in his usual fit. Just a scarf, sweater, and pants. He hasn’t really found something to call his own yet. “HELLO, SANS! I WAS NOT SLEEPING JUST NOW! I’VE BEEN WORKING HARD AT DECORATING THIS DRAB HOUSE.” He has made some progress, at least.
I take a shortcut to his room. “SANS, DON’T TAKE SHORTCUTS IN FRONT OF ME! IT'S FREAKY AND UNNATURAL OF A SKELETON.” He calls from downstairs. “yeah, yeah, i’ll stop when you stop flying up the stairs.” He groans as I laugh. “TOUCHE, SANS…”
He’s decorated this place well. The mattress is now mounted on a car. “where’d you even get this stuff?”
“MONSTER KID GAVE ME AN EXTRA BED WHILE YOU WERE GONE! HE SAID YOU WERE COOL, BUT I SEEMED EVEN COOLER! NYEH HEH HEH! ANOTHER VICTORY FOR PAPYRUS!”
“heh. kids got good taste, i see.”
“WHERE WERE YOU, ANYWAY?”
“dump. got some cool lights, this wonderful painting for that empty spot on the wall, and some christmas lights. i know its not anywhere near christmas, but you can never be too ready.”
“SANS, CHRISTMAS IS IN MONTHS! YOU CANT PUT UP LIGHTS NOW, YOU’LL MAKE A FOOL OUT OF YOURSELF!”
“look how cool they are, though. it’d totally make us stand out.”
He sighs, though he smiles and nods in agreement. “I SUPPOSE YOU’RE RIGHT… DON’T HURT YOURSELF!”
“here.” I hand him the painting. “set that up.”
Ding dong!
“thats for me. don’t wait up on getting more stuff up.”
“THANK YOU, SANS!”
“no problem, bro.” I head downstairs, opening the door. Alphys stands in the cold, in a light winter coat. It looks kinda similar to the lab coat she was wearing earlier.
“Here’s your phone. I-it’s not completely awful now…” She pulls out a second one, smiling. “And one for Papyrus, too!”
“gee, thanks, alphys. should i call him down?”
Alphys pauses for a moment. “Um… y-yeah, sure!”
“papyrus!” She laughs quietly. “Jeez, even when you’re y-yelling you’re in lowercase…”
Papyrus flies over the railing, landing at the door.
“Woah!?” She falls backwards into the snow, laughing. “HELLO, YELLOW LIZARD! WHAT BRINGS YOU TO OUR HUMBLE ABODE?”
“I- just delivering some housewarming gifts, I-i guess! My name is Alphys!”
Papyrus smiles wide. “PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, ALPHYS! I HOPE WE CAN BE GREAT FRIENDS! YOU LOOK LIKE SOME KIND OF SCIENTIST, WITH THAT LAB COAT… ARE YOU HERE TO EXPERIMENT ON US?”
Alphys shakes her head quickly. “No, no! W-well, at least, not now…”
“DON’T FRANKENSTEIN US, ALPHYS! I NEED TO FINISH SETTING UP THE HOUSE. THANK YOU FOR THE PHONE!”
“N-no problem!” She laughs as Papyrus goes back up the stairs to decorate my room and make sure that the painting is “JUST RIGHT…”
“he’s the coolest, right?”
“Yeah! I-I like him! Could he come over w-when I test you?”
“hmm… eh, don’t see why not. sure.” Alphys nods. “Cool! I-I’ll see you then, I guess!”
I wave as she leaves. She’s funny.
I walk all the way down Snowdin. If I remember correctly from the last day, there's…
This huge door. It's purple, and it's got some symbol on it. According to the history books in the “Librarby”, its called the Delta Rune. Symbolism of monsterkinds leadership, or something.
I sit down. I don’t really care that much about why this symbol is on a huge purple door, I just care that nobody's here. Optimal conditions to practice knock knock jokes.
“knock knock.”
…
“Hoo.”
…
“i’m not so awesome you’ve gotta hoot. hold your applause.”
A classic. I laugh to myself.
“knock knock.”
…
“banana.”
…
“banana.”
…
“orange.”
…
“orange you glad i didn’t say banana again?”
snort-
Huh?
“knock knock.”
…
“Who’s there?” A woman calls back to me. She’s already trying not to laugh. This is going to be great…
“a broken pencil.”
“A broken pencil who?”
“nevermind, it's pointless.”
…
Incessant, unstoppable laughing. Even I didn’t think it was that funny. I’ll take it, though.
“HAhaha-! Okay, okay. I’m calm…”
“Knock knock.”
“Who's there?”
…
It’s been a couple dozen minutes. I’ve just been rattling off jokes into this door, and this woman's eating it up. Sounds like she hasn’t heard a good joke in ages. Or a bad one, even.
“Knock knock!”
Oh?
“who’s there?” I don’t know what I’m expecting here. This could be REALLY bad.
“Little old lady!”
“little old lady who?”
“I did not know you could yodel!”
…
Wow. This woman’s good. “heh heh heh… good one.”
She’s laughing so bad she can’t even respond.
…
“what’s your name, anyway?” I question the door. Might as well know who has this terrific sense of humor.
“Oh- it's not really important, is it? Besides, a good knock knock joke changes identities every time anyway!” She’s right, isn’t she?
“guess you’re right, old lady.” I stand. “i’ve gotta tend to my brother back in snowdin. same time tomorrow?”
She laughs. “Same time tomorrow!”
After a quick shortcut back to the house, I look up at the roof. Right, I gotta put up these lights. They’re broken, though.
I walk behind the house. If I remember correctly, there's a little storage area back here. I could turn it into a little workshop.
…
Why’s there something already here? I thought we were the first to move into this house. I walk up to the covered machine, lifting off the tarp.
There's a keypad on it, but it looks like the things busted. Whatever this was used for, it's never doing it again. Weird. Maybe I'll show this to Alphys.
There's some notes…
Wingdings? Who still talks in Wingdings?
I begin to read the note.
“This machine is currently inoperable. Considering its intended purpose, this is quite annoying. I need new parts. The timeline must be monitored at all times.” I set it down, covering the machine again with the tarp. Whatever this is, it's none of my concern right now…
This is not working. There is no way I can fix these lights without Alphys’ help.
I thought they were just disconnected from each other, but each one is shattered in a different way. I'm not dealing with this right now…
I take a shortcut to my room. It looks pretty nice now. I've got my own mattress, my own table, and my own pun and quantum physics book. I'll read that later.
“SAAANS! I WANT A STORY!”
“coming, bro.”
I set down the book, taking a shortcut to his room. Considering it's next to me, that was probably unnecessary, but whatever.
“well, you got a story in mind?” He pauses. “I DON'T, ACTUALLY.”
“well, I got some stuff from the librarby. it's kinda complicated, though. it's about history, but it's sort of interesting. there's some stuff about alphys, too.”
“ALPHYS IS FAMOUS?? I'M FRIENDS WITH A FAMOUS PERSON! NYEH HEH HEH! AND SURE, IM FINE WITH THAT.”
I take a deep breath as I read.
“the core is currently the most advanced piece of technology in the underground. it's what provides us all with power, with hope. without it, we'd be living a lot more of a drab life. but thanks to the help of royal scientist dr. alphys, you're able to enjoy cartoons and electricity at your leisure.”
“I'LL THANK HER PERSONALLY TOMORROW! I LIKE THE TV.”
“heh, yeah. according to this, the cores existed for so long that alphys sometimes needs help maintaining it. she's even said she forgets how to do stuff sometimes. can't blame her, judging by the size of that thing.” Papyrus nods. We walked by it on our way here.
“tomorrow, we're gonna go to her place. she's curious about my whole situation with my attack and defense.”
“MAYBE SHE COULD HELP YOU, SANS? SHE DOES SEEM VERY SMART!”
“eh. maybe.”
“HAVE SOME ENTHUSIASM, BROTHER! IT'LL BE FINE.”
I read out a couple more pages, and despite his best attempts to stay awake, he's asleep before I could get to Alphys’ biography.
“heh. sleep tight.” I take a shortcut back to my room and lie down on the mattress.
Well… that's more than enough stuff for today.