Work Text:
Rookie chat (+Jack) (+Liam<3) (+Franco)
Franco
People
Do you want to get married?
Kimi
To each other or to you??
Ollie
Might be challenging to find someone who’s willing to marry all of us to you
Gabi
Fr they still don’t let polycules get married
Liam
I think the complexity of divorce is the main reason why it isn’t legal
Isack
That would make a decent reality tv show though
Gabi
A reality TV show of polycules getting divorced?
Liam
Not a big fan of reality tv but I’d watch that
Kimi
How do you even propose in a polycule? Do you do it with everyone there or does everybody propose to everyone?
Jack
Probably different for each polycule?
Liam
If texting a group chat counts as a proposal it’s the worst I’ve gotten yet
Isack
YES
I’m not the worst proposal anymore!
Kimi
Yet
I’m sure you can think of something more shit
Franco
Haha very funny guys
I mean if you want to get married one day, like in general
Ollie
Oh
Yeah, sure, why not?
Kimi
I think so
As long as it’s with the right person
Gabi
I mean yeah, sure
Isack
Yes! Absolutely
Liam
Idk
For me, it was never a requirement, and I wouldn’t initiate it, but I’m not against it. I’m sure it can be a beautiful thing if it’s with the right one
Gabi
Why are you asking?
Franco
Cause I always felt like Liam
But I’ve been thinking, is marriage really just a piece of paper or do I have some kind of attachment issues?
Ollie
Thing is it’s not just a piece of paper
Yes, it can make separation more difficult, but it also grants you a lot of legal rights, like hospital visitation and stuff
Isack
That’s one thing
To me it’s just romantic. You love someone so much you promise them your whole life
And that was and is problematic in some contexts, because of gender inequality and “submitting to your husband” (which is fucking weird) but I think that’s why it makes it ten times better if gay people get married
Claim straight culture, but in a gay way
Gabi
Claim straight culture (tell the bottom he belongs in the kitchen)
Kimi
That goes against the teachings of the medieval monk
Bottom supremacy
Jack
Bottom supremacy!
@Franco We don’t need to get married, btw. It’s too early for this conversation anyways
Franco
Yeah I know
I’ve just been thinking about it
Cause Charles and Pierre talked about it
Ollie
Charles and Pierre talked about marriage?
Gabi
With each other???
Franco
No?
In a more general way
Charles said that he wanted to get married, but he was just unsure if it’s the right thing for him and Pierre was kind of coaching him through that
Liam
Oh my god it’s happening
Isack
You think??
Franco
What?
Kimi
What???
Jack
Are you two dense?
Liam
Well, if Pierre and Charles talk about marriage, and they’re not getting married to each other, and Pierre is not in a long-term relationship (as I know), that means….?
Kimi
OH MY GOD
You think Charles and Max are getting married????
Ollie
It kinda sounds like it
I’ll text you from the wedding guys
Gabi
WHAT?
Noooo I want to be at the Lestappen wedding!
Isack
Me too!
Kimi
Me three
Ollie
I’ll bring you as a plus one Kimi
Kimi
Yay <3
Ollie
<3
Franco
Unfair
I want to go to the Lestappen wedding
Can’t you smuggle us in?
Isack
Yeah!
We’ll behave really well promise!
Gabi
Okay but why are YOU so sure you’ll be there @Ollie??
Ollie
Cause I’m part of the Charles’ family that’s why
Isack
Booo!
Jack
Guys we don’t even know if they get married for real
Maybe they are just thinking?
And if Charles has doubts like that, he probably hasn’t proposed yet, so it could still take a while
Kimi
Yeah
Max seems like the type of guy to get married after he retires
Franco
Do we then find out who’s the top and who’s the bottom after the rules of the medieval monk?
Liam
I’m not sure Charles and Max live after the rules of the medieval monk
Gabi
Claim straight culture (put everything and everyone in a category immediately)
Franco
I was raised in a heteronormative two-gendered society that has majorly influenced the way I perceive the world around me
Leave me alone :(
Gabi
Lots of big words for a lizard
Franco
Ngl I channelled all my English into that sentence
Kimi
Max is the bottom, right?
Gabi
Oh yeah totally
Isack
Maybe?
Liam
Probably
Franco
… I don’t think so???
Rookie chat (+Jack) (+Liam<3) (+Franco)
Isack
@Ollie is it non-negotiable that Kimi is your plus one? Or can I fight him for it?
Kimi
Who do you want to fight?
I'll fuck you up
Ollie
@Isack you can try
don't expect me to cheer for you
Isack
Pfff, I can take Kimi no problem
Ollie
Kimi fights dirty, I weren't so sure if I were you
Jack
Can we not?
Franco
You couldn't pay me to fight someone
I will act tough and then feel bad for hitting back and lose
Isack
Softy
Liam
I wouldn't want to fight Isack, he trains too much. The best chance I have is if he loses concentration for a moment and I manage to lock him up somehow
But Kimi looks like he bites people to get what he wants, so I’m not fighting him either
Gabi
Sounds like Kimi
Ollie
Can confirm Kimi is a biter
He bites me sometimes when he's bored
Gabi
I think I would do decent against someone who's untrained
I could probably take Ollie
But Isack? No way. I want to keep my teeth
Isack
Come on, you make it sound like I would actually beat someone up
I only want to go to the wedding
Franco
Jack can throw a good punch!
Was honestly surprised
Jack
I don't fight people thank you. Although I have come close a few times.
Franco
That was not what happened at the club
And at some point I was convinced you wanted to punch me
Liam
Not Jack beating up people at the club
Jack
He started it!
I'm not letting people walk around call me a faggot and then slap me
Plus it was only once, and it was self-defence, because he definitely would have done it again. I have never punched someone ever
And I never wanted to punch you @Franco. I have myself under control, and nothing that happened was you fault
Franco
It was pretty scary honestly, but the guy became real quiet real fast
<3
Kimi
So happy Jack had that glow up
It makes this whole thing less annoying to me
Gabi
Omg so true
Liam
Fr
I respect the sensory issues and find it wildly relatable, but the hair suits you
Makes you look less homophobic
Jack
What?
Ollie
It did make you look a little bit like you drive by a gay couple and call them a slur
Jack
Great
Now I can never shave my head again
Gabi
OR you have to hold hands with Franco everywhere you go so people know you're cool
Kimi
Or you wear a rainbow bracelet
Franco
@Kimi why did you bring this up???
Kimi
Because I think about things like this
I had the exact same thought when Liam cut his hair
He went from a 4.5 to an 8 so quickly
Liam
Thanks I guess?
Isack
That's true
But I’d love you with any haircut @Liam
Even if you shave your head <3
Franco
Who said I wouldn't love Jack if he shaved again???
Besides, I don't care. I have my preferences, but I would never say that out loud. At least for me, even if I say I don't care and you do you, I still do care about what other people think. Especially my partner.
So I smile and shut up about it. I love you, and you look always great :)
Ollie
Yeah same
Kimi
Awwwww
Gabi
Boring
It's part of the banter to roast your partner sometimes
Obviously not things they can't change, but I'm so calling Nico out on the way he dresses
And then he calls me and idiot and all is good
Kimi
Your relationship is strange
Liam
It's the age gap
Gabi
??? Let us be weirdos without bringing up our age difference you hater
Liam
Proud hater
But whatever you want, it's your thing
Gabi
Infuriating
Well, Nico would still love me if I was a worm, so I win
Liam
Oh god not that thing
Did you really ask him that?
Gabi
Of course?
I'm not dating a guy who wouldn't love me if I was a worm
Kimi
@Ollie WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME IF I WAS A WORM
Ollie
Of course
I would build you a nice home and keep you save and get you some worm friends
Kimi
Awwww Ollie <3
Liam
You've all lost your goddamn mind
I was so glad when this trend was over
Isack
So you wouldn't love me if I was a worm???
What kind of person says that to their boyfriend????
Gabi
YOU MONSTER
Kimi
Booooo!
Liam
Wtf?
Jack
(just say yes, Liam)
Liam
Okay, fine. I would love you if you were a worm, even if that's a stupid and unrealistic scenario. Would be better to ask something like “would you still love me if I was infertile” or “would you still love me if I became disabled” or “would you still love me if I got so depressed I wouldn't leave the house anymore”
That's shit that matters
Ollie
That's why it's so difficult to answer
It's easy to say “I would still love you if you were a worm” because you know that would never happen. The things you say are all pretty possible
Gabi
Are they?
Jack
I mean, yeah. Anyone can get disabled at any point, you just need to get in an accident. Most people don't figure out they're infertile until they start trying. And most people experience depression at some point to certain degrees. Who says you're not going to stay in bed for a month or two? Or longer?
Franco
I would still love you if you were an infertile, depressed, disabled worm
Jack
Thanks Franco
I love you too lizard
Gabi
The nickname is a 10/10, glad it stuck
Isack
That became dark quickly
Liam
Sorry
I am a bit touchy about the subject
Kimi
Don't worry we can tell
Rookie chat (+Jack) (+Liam<3) (+Franco)
Gabi
Don't freak out
I was on the sim with Max and we talked a bit and we came to relationships as well and I managed to get a “I don't know. I mean, if he proposed I wouldn't say no, but otherwise, I’m going to wait for a bit” out of him
Isack
HOW???!!
Gabi
I DON'T KNOW
I just started ranting about Nico and our relationship and we got on topic
Kimi
So we need Charles to propose to Max immediately
Jack
Why immediately?
Isack
Mf if Max retires, they're not going to invite us to the wedding anymore, we're not important enough
Liam
Honestly, I think their wedding would be kind of boring
I want the Lance and Fernando wedding
Gabi
Well I'm definitely invited to that one
Otherwise I'm going to fire Fernando
If Nico doesn't want to come you can be my plus one @Liam
Liam
Amazing, it's a deal
Isack
You're going with another man to another man's wedding?
No wonder you wouldn't love me if I was a worm
Gabi
Mission Stealing Isack's man accomplished (I didn't want him but anyway)
Liam
Don't be an idiot
Kimi
Why do you think Lance and Fernando's wedding won't be boring? I thought we established that Fernando’s a grump
Gabi
He is, but not with Lance
Plus, he is definitely going to cry if Lance walks down the aisle and I need to see that
Liam
They just seem more fun?
Lestappen wedding is probably going to be a pretty small affair with close friends and family
Lance and Fernando are also private, but I think they'd invite more people
Franco
Strollonso, by the way
Gabi
You're not reading sex stuff about my manager and his boyfriend, are you?
Franco
...Oops?
Gabi
FRANCO
Kimi
You think if I ask Max nicely he'll invite me to the wedding?
Jack
You? Yeah, probably
Isack
You're all invited to mine and Liam's wedding
Whenever it will be
Liam
Yeah, sure
Isack
Getting married young for the party >>>>>>
Jack
Getting married old because you have money for the party >>>>
Ollie
Excellent arguments on both sides
Gabi
Getting married young to an old man so you have money and party >>>>>
Kimi
We're not seriously having money issues are we?
Franco
You're right
Once in my life I want to party with Fernando
Gabi
I'll convince him I need to bring all of you
I'll get Lance on board so he won't say no
Jack
The dynamic you have with them is fascinating
Gabi
He can say no to one of us, but not both
So we join forces to get what we want
Plus Lance gives good tips
Ollie
Is that why you call him grand master?
Liam
Kinda weird nickname ngl
Gabi
Only because you make it weird!
If you haven't noticed yet, Gabico and Strollonso have the same age gap
And Lance is a certified old man fucker, so he gave me some advice
Franco
I think it's cool that you have somebody who you can talk about such things
Gabi
Thank you!
Be more like your boyfriend @Jack
Jack
Don't get me wrong, I love him the way he is, but somebody’s got to have the brains in this relationship
Franco
And it's not me!
Kimi
I love it though
Ollie does all the annoying stuff and I stand there and look pretty
Franco
Fr
Liam
As long as he would just stand there
He's like a toddler
Isack
MATE what do you mean???
I'm not stupid
Liam
Didn't say you were, dummy. Not at all
You're just very unorganised, and it's not helpful if you start to do random shit for the sake of doing anything
Isack
Oh
Yeah okay
Franco
Just realised it's only cute because of the way he's saying it
Imagine your boyfriend told you “You're not stupid you dumb fuck”
Isack
What's wrong with saying that?
Jack
Thank fuck Liam is a decent person
Isack would get so abused
Franco
Funny you say that, because Pierre told me almost the exact thing
Kimi
Blink twice if you need help
Gabi
And you're talking shit about my relationship
Rookie chat (+Jack) (+Liam<3) (+Franco)
Kimi
Max said yes!
Isack
WHAT
Gabi
!!!!
Franco
To Charles or to you?
Liam
Aw, that's awesome
I need to congratulate them then
Jack
Woah that was fast
Isack
We need to act fast people!
We need to get ourselves invited!
Gabi
Okay first we need the location of the wedding
Isack
If we find out who caters maybe we can sneak in through that
Like a one-time gig
Franco
You think Arthur would date me for like a week to get me in the wedding
Gabi
Franco.
That's a BRILLIANT idea
Ollie
Kimi you might have caused something
Kimi
Sorry false alarm!
Charles and Max are not engaged (to each other or to me)(yet!)
I asked Max if I could come to his wedding and he said “Sure! You're my favourite rookie anyways!”
Gabi
OUCH
Liam
He didn't say that last part, did he?
Isack
What, you just went up to him and asked?
Kimi
Pretty much
It wasn't such a big deal
And he said I could take Ollie with me
Isack
And you didn't ask for the rest of us???
Gabi
Traitor!
Jack
I'll get it out of Pierre where the wedding is
He owes me
Franco
I thought you were even? Because of us???
Jack
...Fuck
Gabi
I'll emotionally manipulate him
He can't break my heart by calling KIMI his favourite rookie and then not invite me to the wedding
Kimi
Btw @Jack why are you showing your back off on Instagram?
Franco
What kind of “btw” is this???
Why do you keep attacking my boyfriend???
Jack
???
Kimi
@Franco Don't worry I'm happy for you
His back is quite attractive
Gabi
@Jack whore
Jack
ME?!
Kimi
George said I’m only allowed to post shirtless pictures when I'm 20
Ollie
GEORGE said that?
Kimi
Well, allowed
He said I might be a little careful with things like that
Jack
Yeah, because there's people going around sexualising YOUR BACK
Kimi
It was a naked, muscular back
Liam
Male equivalent to the Victorian ankle
Gabi
Yeah, why you presenting your back like this? To show the tops you look pretty from the angle??? That you're fertile and willing?????
Ollie
There's the medieval monk again
Jack
@Ollie get your boyfriend under control or I swear to god
Franco
We have already established I don't fight, but Jack does
Liam
We have also established that Kimi bites people
Isack
I want to see the showdown
Kimi
Loser has to present their naked back
Gabi
Now that just sounds like the beginning of a gang bang
Franco
The teachings of the medieval monk sound more and more like Omegaverse
Liam
Like what???
Jack
Blocked. Blocked. You're all blocked.
Jack has left the chat
2025 drivers chat (only professional matters!)
Gabriel Bortoleto
@Max Verstappen what do you MEAN KIMI is your favourite rookie
I want something for emotional damage
Max Verstappen
I never said that...?
George Russell
@Carlos Sainz can you please make me an admin again so I can kick them?
Carlos Sainz
No. This is fun for me
Pierre Gasly
Carlos enjoys the power trip a bit too much
Gabriel Bortoleto
THIS IS PROFESSIONAL
WE ARE HAVING A CONFLICT
George Russell
Then talk about it privately. Like normal fucking adults.
Kimi Antonelli
Ooooh George typed a swear word
Liam Lawson
@Gabriel Bortoleto We talked about this. Not everything has to be a public showdown
Gabriel Bortoleto
THiS DOES
Max Verstappen
What do you even want from me??
Gabriel Bortoleto
I want to come to the wedding
Max Verstappen
What wedding?
Esteban Ocon
Wedding?
Pierre Gasly
@Charles Leclerc You said you would tell me when you proposed!
Charles Leclerc
I haven't???
Max Verstappen
You plan to propose??
Gabriel Bortoleto
NO, we are NOT moving on from the subject again
I want to go the Lestappen wedding. And the rest of the rookie chat too. And I find it INFURIATING that KIMI has received a personal invite already. What is HE to you that I'm not????
Isack
No way Gabi is crashing out so hard over this
Carlos Sainz
@Charles Leclerc Can I come too? I know we're not teammates anymore, but I'd consider us good enough friends
I will invite you to my wedding too
Charles Leclerc
Oh yeah of course, I would have invited you anyways
Max Verstappen
There is no wedding though??
Liam Lawson
@Charles Leclerc I beg you, don't propose to your man in a group chat. I’ve had four proposals so far and that was the shittiest one by far. Even the one where he had a tooth brush in his mouth and tooth paste on his shirt and I only understood him after the third try was better.
Franco Colapinto
I didn't try to propose to you!
Ollie Bearman
Right, you proposed to all of us simultaneously
Alex Albon
@Liam Lawson Where do you get four proposals from????
Liam Lawson
Toothbrush, beach, Zandvoort afterparty and Franco’s non-proposal
Isack Hadjar
One day he'll say yes :,(
Carlos Sainz
I’m sure he will, Isack
Charles Leclerc
Okay, for clarification this is NOT a proposal. We’ll do one when the time is right, and it will be something romantic
Max Verstappen
We'll go over the guest list together once it's time to actually do that
But we'll keep you in mind, okay?
Gabriel Bortoleto
Yay!
Ollie Bearman
Lestappen wedding!
Franco Colapinto
Lestappen wedding!
Gabriel Bortoleto
WEDDINGS! (looking at you @Fernando Alonso)
Fernando Alonso
Fine
Lance Stroll
You're top of the list Gabi, right after the family
Gabriel Bortoleto
Yesss
One person I can count on
Max Verstappen
And for the record, I don't have a favourite rookie
I like you all equally
Gabriel Bortoleto
Fiiiine
Thank you
Carlos Sainz
And even if, you're all somebody's favourite
And if somebody is nobody's favourite, they are my favourite
Franco Colapinto
Awwww, Carlos!
Isack Hadjar
Carlos for the win!
Liam Lawson
Shut up Isack you're everybody's favourite
Kimi Antonelli
@Franco Colapinto What's George and Alex's ship name?
Franco Colapinto
Galex
Kimi
Okay
@George Russell When Galex wedding?
George Russell
Sorry but no
Kimi Antonelli
What?
I'll tell Toto
Alex Albon
Sorry Kimi but we've been married for five years now
You can come to the vowel renewal if we do something like that
Gabriel Bortoleto
I'm sorry you're what?
Lando Norris
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GOT MARRIED???
George Russell
@Alex Albon We had such a good streak of keeping it.
Alex Albon
I know Georgie, but it's been five years.
Kimi Antonelli
Heartbroken
Lando Norris
YOU'RE HEARTBROKEN
MY BEST FRIENDS GOT MARRIED AND NOBODY TOLD ME
@Oscar Piastri what if we get married in Vegas in secret?
Oscar Piastri
Let's do it and pretend in front of Zak and Andrea that we were so drunk we didn't mean to
Lando Norris
They'll send us to couple's therapy again
Carlos Sainz
Again?
Gabriel Bortoleto
One who marries first wins!
Pierre Gasly
Seriously?
Nico Hülkenberg
@Gabriel Bortoleto You can't say that to a group of people whose whole job it is to be competitive
Gabriel Bortoleto
I know
Let the games begin
Oscar Piastri
Alright bet
Liam Lawson
@Gabriel Bortoleto WHY would you do this to me?
I’m up to five proposals now!
Franco Colapinto
Wow that was fast
George Russell
I beg you people please don't get married to win an imaginary game orchestrated by somebody who has lost their BLOOY MIND.
@Carlos Sainz PLEASE do SOMETHING.
Gabriel Bortoleto has been muted.
Carlos Sainz
Better?
George Russell
Thank you.
Kimi Antonelli
George so infuriated he started swearing in British
Fernando Alonso
You're all going to lose
33rd win @Lance Stroll I'm honoured
Charles Leclerc
You're not serious are you?
Lance Stroll
Relax, the invitations were drafted before this conversation even began
Not the way we wanted to announce, but god forbid Nando doesn't get his 33rd
Max Verstappen
Fucking hell
Congratulations!
George Russell
Oh wow
Congratulations you two!
Franco Colapinto
STROLLONSO WEDDING
Ollie Bearman
It's a party!
Liam Lawson
Congratulations man, happy for you two
Lewis Hamilton
Congratulations guys, especially to you, Fernando. I know how important family is to you, and you and Lance make a nice couple. It's nice you get to celebrate that.
Fernando Alonso
Thank you
Pierre Gasly
Congratulations from me and Yuki! (and Esteban but he already knew)
Kimi Antonelli
@Lance Stroll You need to walk down the aisle so Fernando cries
Lance Stroll
Noted
Fernando Alonso
We should think about how we're going to execute a no-phone policy during the ceremony
Lance Stroll
Noted :)
Fernando Alonso
And nobody said any of you are invited
Franco Colapinto
Damn
Kimi Antonelli
:(
Lance Stroll
“What does that even mean? I am not a grump!”
Fernando Alonso
Who invites their co-workers to their wedding?
Alex Albon
That's some European bullshit if I've ever heard one
Lando Norris
You guys got married in the PANDEMIC you invited NO ONE to your wedding so don't YOU start talking about European customs and bullshit!
Lance Stroll
Come on Fernando
Let the kids come
It'll be fun
It's a party
Fernando Alonso
Fine
We'll go over the guest list
But no bullshit or I'll kick you out personally
Kimi Antonelli
Yay!
Ollie Bearman
Party's back on!
Liam Lawson
@Carlos Sainz Gabi said if you don't unmute him you're uninvited from the ball cancer party AND his wedding
Carlos Sainz
Oh no
I'll unmute him
George Russell
I'm sorry, the what?
Alex Albon
Yeah you missed some stuff
Pierre Gasly
Fuck it one ball
Max Verstappen
Ball
Carlos Sainz
Singular ball
George Russell
Awful people. All of you.
Yuki Tsunoda
What did I do???