Chapter Text
.°•+ April 2024 +•°.
So it turns out the comments from fans and his friends had a bigger impact on Damien than he thought.
Ever since Shayne and Courtney asked if something was going on between him and Angela, he's been thinking a lot about the subject. The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes how much he cares about her. By now, he's fully accepted that he likes Angela.
They are paired up for the newest Culinary Crimes and doing all Italian food. Angela had requested Damien to be in a Culinary Crimes with her, specifically for this episode. She told Emily that it only makes sense for the two Italians of Smosh to eat Italian food together.
Damien walks to his seat and waits for Courtney and Angela to show up. He goes on his phone until Marcus comes by to put down the officer badges and a Sharpie. While he thinks of a funny name to put on his badge, Courtney and Angela show up, talking up a storm. "Hey, Court. Hey Angela," he says as he writes down his name. "Hey," they both say.
Noticing that he wrote a name on the badge, Angela asks him, "What did you put down?" "I'm Officer Fettuccine, Shits and Giggles Department," he replies. "Ohh! Interesting..." she slyly says.
He isn't sure what she means by that, but gets distracted when Courtney starts a conversation. He talks to them until Marcus says that they're ready to start filming. Courtney gets into her detective persona and goes to the lamp as Damien and Angela sit in their seats. Marcus starts counting down: "Rolling in 5, 4, 3, 2..."
Courtney turns on the lamp and starts doing the intro. They mess up a couple of times, so they have to restart; Angela starts giggling, which makes Damien giggle. Once they get through the intro, they say, "Today's theme is Italian food, and with me are my two Italian officers. Introduce yourselves." They look at Angela, but she says, "I want him to start." "Uh, okay," he says, 'I'm Officer Fettuccine and I'm from the Shits and Giggles Department." "And I'm Officer Alfredo from the Giggles and Shits Department," Angela says, trying to stifle a laugh.
Courtney laughs at what she did, while Damien is surprised. He didn't expect her to copy his bit. He asks her, "Angula, did you choose Alfredo because I did Fettuccine?" "Yeah, I wanted us to be matching," she replies. His heart beats out of his chest. If she keeps doing things like this, he'll die from cuteness overload. He smiles at her and says, "That's so funny," as he gives her a high-five.
"Okay okay, enough chit-chat!" Courtney says in character. "We've got crimes to solve." "Aye aye, captain!" Damien responds with a salute. Angela copies him and salutes her as well. "Let's get started," Courtney says to the camera.
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The first dish is risotto; Angela is excited. "Sounds simple enough," Courtney says after reading the ingredients. "It's actually famous for how intimidating it is to cook it," Angela says while Damien nods. "Intimidating?! How?" "It's a very time-consuming and labor-intensive dish. There's constant stirring and you need to have all your attention on it. Also, you have to achieve the perfect texture; the rice needs to be both creamy and firm," Damien explains.
Angela is impressed that he knows so much about making risotto, (Well, she shouldn't be that surprised; they are both Italian.) She says as much and he blushes as he responds, "Thanks. It's just something my mom taught me." "Aww!" both Courtney and Angela say.
They learn that the suspect is on trial for three counts of culinary crimes. They replaced the Arborio rice, unsalted butter, and dry vermouth. When the food arrives, Angela inspects the dish. She sees the rice and makes a guess. "I think this is either jasmine or basmati rice," she says, "It's a long-grain rice, while Arborio rice is a short-grain. Long-grain rice releases less starch, so this isn't going to be creamy. It's going to be dry as hell." "Yeah, I think you're right," Courtney says. "Well let's try it," Damien says, already lifting a spoonful. "Okay, cheers."
They all take a bite. Angela immediately knows: "It's jasmine rice. It doesn't have the aroma that basmati has." "Yup, you're right," Damien says, "It's like drinking chicken stock and rice was just thrown in there." Angela laughs; she then starts thinking of the other ingredient swaps. "I feel like the butter alternative is margarine; that seems like a common swap. But what about the vermouth?" She tries the rice again.
She tastes something sweet, then something clicks. "Maybe it's a sweet wine?" "Ooh, that's good! Like, 'they're both white wines' kind of thing?" Courtney asks. "Exactly," Angela says, then turns to Damien, asking, "What do you think?" "You can take the lead on this," he responds, "I know nothing about wine." "Okay, so what are you?" she asks, looking at her spoonful of rice.
She takes another bite; she tastes a hint of grape. "Moscato. It's Moscato," she says confidently. "Whoa, are you sure?" Damien asks. "Yeah. Let's bring in the verdict." "Hey, that's my line!" Courtney jokingly pouts. Angela laughs and says, "My bad, Court."
They get to the verdict; Courtney is given the envelope. They take out the paper with a flourish and read the results: "'I didn't have Arborio rice, so I used jasmine rice. I also used margarine instead of butter and Moscato (!) instead of dry vermouth.' Wow, Angela! Right on the money!"
Damien is surprised and starts to slow clap. The crew and Courtney join in on clapping for Angela. She blushes at the attention she's getting. "WOW. That was incredible! Really impressive, Angela," Damien says. She blushes even more at the compliments he just gave her. "Thanks, Damien!" she says, giggling. She catches herself and thinks, 'Why am I giggling? He didn't say anything that special.'
They were thrilled to get the real thing when it arrived. "Mm! It's so good! This is such a comfort dish for me," Angela says. The others murmur in agreement. "So what's the sentencing?" Courtney asks. "I think Angela should come up with the sentencing," Damien says, "She deserves it after that impressive detective work."
Angela blushes again and hooks her hair behind her ear. "Thanks Damien," she says; she then turns to Courtney and says, "I think that they should be in a classroom where the teacher drones on and on about the different types of rice. And they have to take a test on it and can't leave until they get it all correct." "Done! Next case!" Courtney says.
The other two cases flew by in a breeze. They ate ravioli that replaced the ricotta with cottage cheese and tiramisu that used hot chocolate instead of espresso coffee. They say their goodbyes and wrap the episode. Angela takes off her mic pack and leaves the Pit set when she hears someone call her name. She turns around and sees Damien walking towards her.
"Hey," he says as they walk to their desks. "Great job today! The risotto guessing was so cool to witness." "Oh, that was nothing. I just got lucky," she says. "No, that was awesome! It was really impressive," he tells her. "Impressive," she says in the Chosen voice. He laughs and does it back to her. "But no seriously, you did great. It was amazing." She smiles and looks down, saying, "Thank you. I appreciate it." "No problem, you're always incredible."
Angela blushes at that comment. So does Damien. Panicking, he rambles, "...On camera! You're incredible on camera... Not that you're not incredible off camera! You're an all-around incredible... person. Sorry, I'm gonna go now. I'll see you later." He turns around and walks away, leaving her speechless. She walks the rest of the way to her desk. She sits down and contemplates what just happened.
Blushing cheeks? Check. Racing heartbeat? Check. Butterflies in her stomach? Check. She knows what that means: she has a crush on Damien.