Chapter Text
Sleeping that night proved to be an even more difficult task than usual. The pain in my chest made it hard to think straight let alone relax. Luckily for me I at least got to stay in the infirmary for ‘overnight observation’ just to be safe, not like Will was in any rush to let me out of that room for more than ten minutes at a time. I wished that I could be mad about it, but annoyingly he was right. I was in terrible condition despite what my stubbornness would have you believe. Standing was painful and gods know walking was completely out of the question for the foreseeable future. That boy could see right through my mask of indifference and see the pain bubbling to the surface, and he had the audacity to not just assume that it was my….well lets just say…. Devastation.
I must have fallen asleep at some point. One moment I was tossing and turning in my cot and the next I was staring up at the night sky. The ground was cold and hard, which was really what shook me out of my pained stupor to pay attention.
I pushed myself up to find that I had been laid out on a jetty with calm ocean waves licking up either side of the collection of dark rocks. Being propped up on the jetty in the middle of the night was not a new experience, just one I had not partaken in since the invaders came to our shores. The sky was more reminiscent of the one I saw every night in modern New York, So I knew that I had not fallen into a memory. (which I had been doing a lot of since regaining them all in a quick burst after essentially being an amnesiac.)
“Good you’re here.”
I peeked my head over the side of my rock to see Tethys pulling herself onto the jetty from the sea below. She was in full celestial bronze armor, an image of a Ketos (Or a Cetus for all those Greek demigods that did not grow up in ancient Rome.) wrapped around an oar with wings sprouting out on either side of the image engraved in her breast plate, over her flowy blue dress. An oar made of celestial bronze was in a holster on her back. Her long wavy brown hair had been pulled up into a slick bun that probably fit better in the helmet, with wings protruding from either side, attached to her belt than it would have free flowing. Her deep blue eyes looked tired but still held the cold elegance that I had become accustomed to.
“You hijacked my dream.” I noted as she settled in next to me. “Is something wrong? Or I guess worse than normal?”
She sighed looking up at the stars, I wondered what she was looking for up there. My own eyes always strayed to Zoë Nightshade running amongst the constellations. Maybe she was looking at the people she knew as well, but the way her eyes narrowed made me think that it had not been a pleasant relationship. Or perhaps she was merely thinking…I tend to overthink, or so I have been told.
“The battle between Poseidon and Oceanus has proven to be much more involved than I anticipated. My daughters and I help where we can, but we have precious little resources to spare elsewhere. And as you know I had only been able to get into contact with Themis, Leto, and Asteria. Asteria tried her luck in convincing her husband and the others to join the side of the gods, but it has come up rather fruitless.” Her shoulders sagged slightly but her posture somehow remained annoyingly regal. “We are spread thin, and with Typhon raging across the country the gods are also quite busy.”
“Yeah we’ve been keeping tabs on Typhon’s progress.” I confirmed. “I’m just concerned that…that something bigger is coming.”
“Knowing my brother, I am certain that he has something up his sleeve. Some key players have been missing in action for some time. It would be wasteful of him to side line them.”
We fell into a heavy silence as the waves grew in height and ferocity.
“And we think there is a spy amongst us. No, I know that there has to be a spy. There is no way that Kronos just stumbled upon our mission plans by accident. Plus he happily paraded the fact around to Percy and…” I dug my nails into the palm of my hands, “how do we counter a spy? We don’t even know where to start to weed them out.”
She hummed in response, her eyes still locked on the sky. “I’m not sure that it is worth your efforts to worry about it. Stick to the loyalties you hold dearest, they will not fail you.”
“Yeah cause that has really worked out for me so far,” I bristled.
For the first time since climbing onto the rocks with me Tethys’s blue eyes bore into the side of my head. “Miss Xanthus.” She started with a deep sigh. “You are a much better judge of character than you give yourself credit for. You most certainly got that trait from your father, and perhaps selfishly I hope a little came from me.”
“I thought you were not my mom? And that I am unfortunately not the first demi titan.”
A small huff of a laugh escaped her. “Yes, but I would hope your mother picked up a thing or two from me. But alas time and time again I fear my wisdom escapes her.”
“Oh? Am I about to get some mom lore right about now, or are you going to clam up? Cause it's ‘not time yet’...whatever that means.”
“Your mother will reveal herself in time, but again here you are pushing the focus anywhere but you. I find that you have a real talent for deflection.”
“Well I did learn from -”
Tethys cut me off before I could turn us again to a new tangent. “Child, despite Castellan’s choices he did have good intentions in regard to your kind.-”
“Oh yeah? You mean like how he poisoned a child for existing and then shattered a several year long friendship at the drop of a hat?”
“-That Chase girl is strategic but still runs to her friend’s aid.-”
“Which has gotten her beaten, poisoned, kidnapped, and drowned.”
“- Jackson continues to fight for the people he cares for and what he believe is right-”
“Sure, and that said side has led him to take up the title of the child of prophecy. Which is damn near close to a death sentence lest you have forgotten.”
“-And Beckend-”
“DON’T SAY HIS NAME!” I cut in breathing heavily at that point. “Please…I-I can’t,” I said softer, bringing my knees up to my chest.
“Hanora,” she said, turning fully to face me. “Hanora darling, look at me.”
I reluctantly shifted so that I could see her but my face was still mostly pushed into my knees.
“Your attachment to that camp, your friends, that deep sense of loyalty that runs in your veins. It will be what decides the fate of this world, in a way that not even the fates themselves could weave. I know that you fear that your attachments could be your downfall, and perhaps they could be. But they could also be your greatest strength. If you let them. Trying to go out on your own now and cut them all off will not serve you well, and you know that all those you have lost would agree with me.”
“That has not worked for me all that well so far. I mean anyone I have said that I- well you know…the word to are very…dead. I’m not sure how much of a super power that is.” I blinked up at her processing what she said again, “wait…what was that bit about the fates? Isn’t their whole job to weave together different possibilities for the future?”
Tethys by nature tended to exist with an air of seriousness at all times, and yet somehow her aura shifted to something even heavier. “ Yes but there are events foretold by beings even older than the fates, events that they can not even see let alone weave into their own plans.”
“Like the prophecy Phoebe had been spouting?”
“Exactly like that prophecy,” She confirmed. “It is still unclear how she got a hold of such an ancient prediction. But with it now circling among our enemies' ranks they believe that you are the key to their victory, or their great failure.”
I couldn’t hold back my eye roll. “Okay I get the prophecy could possibly inform them of an important decision for them, but what does that have to do with me? The whole damn thing is pretty vague and I am only mentioned in the last line. Plus it says I am going to fall, which is not exactly a great thought, but not really important for them….right?”
Tethys’s eyes glowed like fresh dawn light hitting the tip of a clear blue glacier. “A child hidden from fate, born of a broken vow. Three threads intertwined shall never stand down. In fire and ash a protector forged anew. A side they must carefully choose, for their aim holds true. Loyalty so strong answers the call. The last son of the dragon shall fall.”
“Yeah thanks for the recap, but I already have the whole thing memorized.”
“And yet you still do not understand any of it.”
“Rude,” I huffed, crossing my arms. “Alright, enlighten me then.”
“You can see the threads of those closest to you, so one can assume that you would use those connections to stand your ground in this upcoming battle-”
“-yeah sur-”
“Do not interrupt me.” I slammed my mouth shut as those icy eyes shot daggers at me. “As I was saying…Even the line about fire and ash links back to Vesuvius and how a ‘protector’, which I am quite certain is you, was born anew. And darling you are constantly using yourself as a human shield for your people. You are so deeply loyal that you stood your ground to help your fellow demigods and the friends you have made. This whole prophecy is about you and the life you have lived up to this point.”
I blinked a few times trying to process her honestly terrifying assessment. “I-I well….okay, but what about that secret child? Clearly we will need their help or we might need to get rid of them….or I don’t know…something?”
“Oh sweet heart…weren’t you listening? The prophecy is yours, and yours alone.” A cold well manicured hand came up to rest carefully on my cheek. “You are the child hidden from fate.”
***
I woke up with such a heavy start that I nearly did a forward tuck roll straight off of the foot of my cot. Only the remains of my anxiety fueled tinkering activities the night before gave me enough things to grip to stop myself from hitting the floor. The image of Travis Stoll sneaking in my tool kit after lights out would normally have been enough to calm my speeding heart after a particularly rough dream. This time it was not nearly enough. I sat with my knees tucked under me and my forehead pressed into the sheets for at least ten minutes trying to slow my breathing.
My brain was swirling with both prophecies echoing in my ears, Tethys’s hopefully incorrect theories, and my own negativity just piling up on top of everything. So I got the added joy of a headache on top of the nausea and all of my bones rattling like they wanted to escape my meat suit….yeah it was so bad that I used the term ‘meat suit’. Sorry not sorry.
“Oh good you're awaa- holy Apollo what happened to you?”
I peaked up through my curtain of hair to see Will all dressed and ready in his doctor’s best. He was carrying a plate with a croissant and a few orange slices on it.
I took a long suffering breath, “....life, Solace ... .Life is what happened to me.”
I pushed my face back into the sheets. Will shuffled around the room, I heard the plate being set on the bed side table before he started throwing my tools into their bag on the floor.
“How many times have I told you no tinkering while you're on bed rest?"
I shrugged, “a shit ton.”
“Must you curse?”
“It's the only way I get through the day.”
He went silent for a moment. Then in a quick fluid movement he grabbed me by the shoulder and flipped me over onto my back. I was too stunned to move as I was greeted with two big blue eyes. Looking at him upside down made my head swim again, but he didn’t stay there long. He pulled out thermometers, a wash cloth, and bandages. He worked silently checking me over before shoving an orange slice into my mouth.
“Gods Will what the fuck?” I said around the slice.
“Good news your fever is gone and you have no sign of any external injuries. Bad news, you have eaten only one slice of toast in about a day and a half. So, you need to eat and tell me your pain levels.” He stared at me with narrowed eyes, “honestly please.”
“Ummmmm…” I swallowed the orange slice, which annoyingly did lessen my head ache a bit. “Are my bones supposed to be vibrating?”
He blinked down at me, once, twice, three times before he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Vibrating?”
“....vibrating…”
He stepped away from me causing me to hang my head off of the bed to track his movements. He grabbed at his clipboard and quickly jotted something down. He looked up from his board and pointed the end of his pen at me and then at the plate on the table. “Eat that and make sure you have a lot of water. I’m going to go scavenge my medical books to double check, but knowing you this …” he sighed and with his pen hand made air quotes “vibrating ... .is something that just needs time to heal. So don’t do anything crazy, or at the very least use the wheel chair for today at least.”
I sat up and swung around so that I was facing him, which was a terrible idea considering the bout of dizziness I got. “I can be off bed rest?!”
He pushed over the wheelchair, “only because you’d be worse for everyone else if I kept you in here. Don’t push it.”
With one final withering look he stepped out of the room and disappeared down the hall.
I giggled to myself trying to refocus my eyes against the dizziness. That poor bastard has no idea that said chair that he thinks is going to keep me mostly out of trouble, had actually been my main tinkering focus last night.
***
I blasted out of the infirmary so fast after forcing down my food that my wheels might have actually caught fire a little bit. I was already a bit behind in the day's activities, breakfast had come and gone leaving the camp to their assigned activities. I hit a tight turn as I pressed my newly installed control panel to pick up my chair’s speed. (If you thought I was going to manually drive this damn thing then you are dead wrong. I shan’t be doing a whole day worth of arm day, absolutely not.)
I shot past cabins one and two, ignoring the urge to flip off cabin two, and rolled my way into the cabin common area. I felt an evil smile sneak its way onto my face as I saw two very familiar people stepping out of the Aphrodite cabin. Luckily for my plans the two were busy looking at the papers and clipboards in their hands and not at the wheelchair rocketing up behind them.
“All aboard!” I yelled as I slammed my chair into their backs, scooping them up onto the arms of the chair.
The high pitched squeaks they both released as I raced them across the common area toward cabin eleven, (which was where they had been heading since Annabeth had been given cabin inspection duty that day). I couldn’t contain the laugh that bubbled up as I drifted into a parked position just in front of the steps to the cabin.
Annabeth squirmed away from the arm I had used the seat belt her into place in favor of angrily stomping in front of me. While Percy let himself fully fall into my lap like I was holding him bridal style.
“Gods Han! You can not just sneak up on us like that!” Annabeth yelled, waving her clipboard in the air for emphasis.
“To be fair, I did announce myself before I grabbed you.” I countered finally noticing that the vibrating in my bones had lessened. Well actually it had been completely gone for a moment there…perhaps I had been too excited to wreak chaos that I had fully blocked it out. Yep that's what I am going to go with.
Percy was breathing heavily clutching his papers to his chest, a big smile on his face. “Don’t listen to her Specs, that was awesome.”
Annabeth huffed indignantly but it just made the whole thing funnier.
Just then a fight broke out between the Ares and Apollo cabins. Some Apollo campers armed with firebombs flew over the Ares cabin in a chariot pulled by two pegasi. That particular chariot had become the topic of much discussion the past few days, and honestly despite how cool it looked I could make a better one. Soon, the roof of the Ares cabin was burning, and naiads from the canoe lake rushed over to blow water on it.
Then the Ares campers called down a curse, and all the Apollo kids' arrows turned to rubber. The Apollo kids kept shooting at the Ares kids, but the arrows bounced off.
Two archers ran by, chased by an angry Ares kid who was yelling in poetry: "Curse me, eh? I'll make you pay! I don't want to rhyme all day!"
Annabeth sighed. "Not that again. Last time Apollo cursed a cabin, it took a week for the rhyming couplets to wear off."
I shuddered. Apollo was god of poetry as well as archery, and I'd heard him recite in person. I'd almost rather be shot by an arrow…. No I definitely would rather get shot…by anything not just a random arrow.
"What are they fighting about anyway?" Percy asked as he slid off my lap to get a better look.
Annabeth ignored him while she scribbled on her inspection scroll, giving both cabins a one out of five. The light of day was doing that thing again where it caught in her blonde hair almost making her long ponytail look like it was made out of strands of pure gold. Except for her streak of gray that normally hung around the side of her face, a reminder of the burden all three of us had carried not all that long ago. She was also wearing her iconic silver owl earrings from her dad, who was this brainiac military history professor in San Francisco. I had to force my eyes elsewhere to avoid staring. My eyes falling on her was not an unusual occurrence, but seeing Percy practically gawking at her was a newer development. He really did look at her like she had hung the sun in the sky herself, just don’t tell Apollo that I used that analogy. The two had finally evened out height wise making them both officially taller than me, chair or no chair, which was kind of disrespectful. I was a whole year older and somehow I had become the pipsqueak….not cool.
Finally she said, "That flying chariot."
"What?" Percy squeaked being pulled from his thoughts
"You asked what they were fighting about."
"Oh. Oh, right."
"They captured it in a raid in Philadelphia last week. Some of Luke's demigods were there with that flying chariot. The Apollo cabin seized it during the battle, but the Ares cabin led the raid. So they've been fighting about who gets it ever since."
We ducked as Michael Yew's chariot dive-bombed an Ares camper. The Ares camper tried to stab him and cuss him out in rhyming couplets. He was pretty creative about rhyming those cuss words.
"We're fighting for our lives," Percy said, "and they're bickering about some stupid chariot."
"They'll get over it," Annabeth said. "Clarisse will come to her senses."
“Assuming they don’t kill each other first,” I added, pushing my glasses back up my nose. The pain was back almost as bad as it had been when I first left the infirmary. I bit back a grimace and focused on the papers Percy was sorting through since he had decided to join me in my chair. He said something about it being easier than reading and walking. I slowed my chair to keep pace with Annabeth as she finished inspecting the cabins.
Demeter got a four. Hephaestus got a three and probably should've gotten lower, but with the whole…you know, Annabeth cut them some slack. I pretended not to notice her staring at me while we were in there. Hermes had gotten a two, which sucked since usually I was the one keeping those idiots in check, but spending two nights in the infirmary had let the whole thing fall into disarray.
Percy patted my shoulder, “don’t worry Annabeth is just brutal. She gave me a three out of five, and it's just me in there.”
That did not reassure me in the slightest.
Finally we got to Athena's cabin, which was orderly and clean as usual. Books were straightened on the shelves. The armor was polished. Battle maps and blueprints decorated the walls. Only Annabeth's bunk was messy. It was covered in papers, and her silver laptop was still running.
"Vlacas," Annabeth muttered, which was basically calling herself an idiot in Greek.
Her second-in-command, Malcolm, suppressed a smile. "Yeah, um . . . we cleaned everything else. Didn't know if it was safe to move your notes."
That was probably smart. Annabeth had a bronze knife that she reserved just for monsters and people who messed with her stuff.
Malcolm grinned at me and Percy (who had made himself comfortable on my lap). "We'll wait outside while you finish inspection." The Athena campers filed out the door while Annabeth cleaned up her bunk.
Percy shuffled uneasily and pretended to go through some more reports. Technically, even on inspection, it was against camp rules for two campers to be . . . like, alone in a cabin. That rule had come up a lot when Silena and Beckendorf started dating. And I know some of you might be thinking, aren't all demigods related on the godly side, and doesn't that make dating gross? But the thing is, the godly side of your family doesn't count, genetically speaking, since gods don't have DNA. A demigod would never think about dating someone who had the same godly parent. Like two kids from Athena cabin? No way. But a daughter of Aphrodite and a son of Hephaestus? They're not related. So, it's no problem.
Not that it really mattered considering all three of us had come inside…but clearly Percy was growing a bit nervous since he popped up to stand next to me instead.
Annabeth closed her laptop, which had been given to her as a gift from the inventor Daedalus last summer.
Percy cleared his throat. "So . . . get any good info from that thing?"
"Too much," she said. "Daedalus had so many ideas, I could spend fifty years just trying to figure them all out."
"Yeah," he muttered. "That would be fun." Clearly not thinking it would be fun at all, but honestly I couldn’t disagree more. The amount of interesting designs Annabeth had shown me so far was higher than the interesting designs that the Hephestus cabin had come up with in the past three years. Not that I am dissing them or anything…but like Daedalus was a genius, definitely one of my actual Greek heroes. No Hercules for me, give me all them brainy legends please and thank you.
She shuffled her papers—mostly drawings of buildings and a bunch of handwritten notes. I knew she wanted to be an architect someday, but I'd learned the hard way not to ask what she was working on while Percy was with us. She'd start talking about angles and load-bearing joints until poor Percy’s eyes glazed over.
"You know . . ." She brushed her hair behind her ear, like she does when she's nervous. "This whole thing with Beckendorf and Silena. It kind of makes you think. About . . . what's important. About losing people who are important."
Percy nodded, his face growing redder by the second. I felt like I was intruding so I started wheeling closer to the door to give them some space.
"Urn, yeah," Percy stammered as I was about half way through the door. "Like . . . is everything cool with your family?"
I nearly face palmed as I stopped in the doorway. This boy was so stupid. I sent a silent apology to Aphrodite for her poor choice in entertainment.
Annabeth looked disappointed (poor thing) , but she nodded.
"My dad wanted to take me to Greece this summer," she said wistfully. "I've always wanted to see—"
"The Parthenon," Percy remembered.
She managed a smile. "Yeah."
"That's okay. There'll be other summers, right?"
It would have been a normal sentiment but with the war and the high likely hood that if things don’t go our way we will be hunted to extinction. Well lets just say we were living in a time of no guarantees.
Annabeth stared at her inspection scroll. "Three out five," she muttered, "for a sloppy head counselor. Come on. Let's finish your reports and get back to Chiron."
On the way to the Big House, we read the last report, which was handwritten on a maple leaf from a satyr in Canada. If possible, the note made me feel even worse.
" 'Dear Grover,'" I read aloud." 'Woods outside Toronto attacked by giant evil badger. Tried to do as you suggested and summon the power of Pan. No effect. Many naiads' trees were destroyed. Retreating to Ottawa. Please advise . Where are you? —Gleeson Hedge, protector.'"
Annabeth grimaced. "You haven't heard anything from him? Even with your empathy link?"
Percy shook his head dejectedly. Ever since last summer when the god Pan had died, our friend Grover had been drifting farther and farther away. The Council of Cloven Elders treated him like an outcast, but Grover still traveled all over the East Coast, trying to spread the word about Pan and convince nature spirits to protect their own little bits of the wild. He'd only come back to camp a few times to see his girlfriend, Juniper.
Last I'd heard he was in Central Park organizing the dryads, but nobody had seen or heard from him in two months. We'd tried to send Iris-messages. They never got through. Percy had an empathy link with Grover, so he would definitely know if anything bad happened to him. Grover had told us one time that if he died, the empathy link might kill Percy too. Which was a really cheery thought. My own link to Grover was not nearly as strong, but as far as I could tell he was alive and not in any immediate danger.
"Annabeth." Percy stopped her by the tetherball court. I slowed up behind them allowing us to crowd around each other, just in case someone was listening. "Listen, I had this dream about, um, Rachel . . ."
I could feel Annabeth’s rage spike, but to her credit she kept it pretty cool.
Percy told us his whole dream, which was just Rachel throwing darts at his picture and having a shitty conversation with her dad while being disappointed Percy would not go on vacation with her. Oh and there was a weird picture of Luke as a child she drew. Not really earth shattering news aside from Percy admitting another girl was interested in him. I wanted to smack him on Annabeth’s behalf but I figured she’d be happier if she got to smack him.
For a while she didn't say anything. Then she rolled up her inspection scroll so tight she ripped it. "What do you want me to say?"
"I'm not sure. You're the best strategist I know. If you were Kronos planning this war, what would you do next?"
"I'd use Typhon as a distraction. Then I'd hit Olympus directly, while the gods were in the West."
"Just like in Rachel's picture."
"Percy," she said, her voice tight, "Rachel is just a mortal."
“Who seems to have a small gift for prophecy.” I muttered trying to not get in the middle of this slowly mounting argument. Luckily they either didn’t hear me or ignored what I said.
"But what if her dream is true? Those other Titans—they said Olympus would be destroyed in a matter of days. They said they had plenty of other challenges. And what's with that picture of Luke as a kid—"
"We'll just have to be ready."
"How?" Percy said. "Look at our camp. We can't even stop fighting each other. And I'm supposed to get my stupid soul reaped."
She threw down her scroll. "I knew we shouldn't have shown you the prophecy." Her voice was angry and hurt. "All it did was scare you. You run away from things when you're scared."
Percy stared at her, completely stunned. "Me? Run away?"
She got right in his face and I rolled myself further back from them. "Yes, you. You're a coward, Percy Jackson!"
They were nose to nose. Her eyes were red, and I watched as realization dawned on his face. Maybe there was hope for him yet?
"If you don't like our chances," she said, "maybe you should go on that vacation with Rachel."
"Annabeth—"
"If you don't like our company."
"That's not fair!"
She pushed past him and stormed toward the strawberry fields. She hit the tetherball as she passed and sent it spinning angrily around the pole. I took it back immediately, he was doomed.
***
That afternoon we had an assembly at the campfire to burn Char's burial shroud and say our good-byes. Even the Ares and Apollo cabins called a temporary truce to attend.
Char's shroud was made out of metal links, like chain mail. I didn't see how it would burn, but the Fates must've been helping out. The metal melted in the fire and turned to golden smoke, which rose into the sky. The campfire flames always reflected the campers' moods, and today they burned black.
I hoped Char's spirit would end up in Elysium. Maybe he'd even choose to be reborn and try for Elysium in three different lifetimes so he could reach the Isles of the Blest, which was the best place to be in the underworld. If anyone deserved it, Char definitely did.
I was having difficulty sitting still for the whole ceremony. Chiron had asked me to say a few words, but I couldn’t do it. The duty fell on Mason as the new head counselor and Char’s sibling. The whole ordeal made me nauseous and the vibration of my bones lessened into more of a deep itch I could not scratch. For a scary moment I wanted to roll right into the funeral pyre and join him. Only Annabeth’s firm hand on the back of my chair kept me in place.
Once people started peeling off to return to camp activities Annabeth needed little prompting to wheel me away. I had no intention of staying to have to see Selina break down while Clarisse and Chris tried to comfort her. It was hard enough seeing the shroud; I did not want to be around any wailing widows.
“Are you sure you're okay, Han?” Annabeth said softly as she wheeled me back to the infirmary.
“I’m fine.” I asserted keeping my voice devoid of emotion.
I should have known that she wouldn’t believe me far before she turned my chair around and knelt so we were eye to eye.
“Hanora, you know you can talk to me about it right? Bottling it up will do more harm than good.”
I looked into pools of gray mist swirling with concern and all I could hear was Tethys’s echoing words again. I could feel the burns crawling up my spine like fire ants, but I just gripped the arms of my chair tighter.
“I’m fine for now. I don’t have time to dwell on it AB.”
She shook her head, a small frown on her face, “I don’t think talking about your grief is ‘dwelling’ on anything.”
I leaned closer to her, clasping my hands together in front of me. “AB the moment I give into it, the moment I-I acknowledge it…I’ll be out of commission for-...a while. I don’t have time for that now. People die everyday, and we are at war. We have to put our game faces on, wallowing in our grief could be our downfall.”
“But Han-”
“No AB, I know you mean well and I appreciate it…really I do. But I do not have time to mourn.” I sighed and wheeled myself around her, pressing my stairs button to shoot up onto the infirmary porch. I turned back to her from the doorway where she looked up at me with misty eyes. “For all of the people we have lost leading up to this and all those we will lose in the coming battle. We have to soldier on, because who will be left if we don’t?”
Before she could answer I rolled myself inside blinking back tears that I could not shed.