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"No."
"C'mon."
"Nope."
"Come ooooon, please?"
"I said no! No way are we keeping it–"
"Good news, we're keeping you!" Oikawa crowed.
Iwaizumi slammed the lid of the pot down and tried not to snap the wooden spoon he was clutching in his fist. He resisted the urge to dump the soup he was cooking into the sink and just order a damn pizza because he could not concentrate on two problems at once. He decided for the sake of his blood pressure that he would deal with the louder, more obnoxious problem first: his impulsive boyfriend.
"Jeez, Iwa-chan, you scared him," Oikawa pouted from where he was sprawled on the dining room floor. He was dragging the string from his hoodie back and forth to try and entice the black scrap of fur to play with him.
The puppy took a wobbly step in Iwaizumi's direction and attempted to growl. It came out closer to a squeak.
Oikawa beamed, showering the puppy with kisses and cooing praise.
"We are not adopting a god damn stray dog, Shittykawa! We can barely afford rent and college as is! Have you ever even had a dog before? Kyouken doesn't count," Iwaizumi snarled, feeling the vein in his forehead begin to throb.
He already knew the answer, of course; they'd been neighbors since they were in diapers. He knew Oikawa always wanted a pet, but never got one (except for one of those digital keychain pets when they were ten years old, but those got banned in middle school so it died in the teacher's desk drawer). Clearly Oikawa needed to be reminded that he had absolutely no authority on the subject of live animals.
"Nope, mean old parents didn't let me," Oikawa sang, sounding thoroughly unconcerned as he rolled onto his back and deposited the puppy on his stomach. The fuzzy black pup sat down and scratched its ear. "That's why it's fate, Iwa-chan, that someone left this little guy on our doorstep!"
"It's not fate," Iwaizumi gritted through his teeth. "It probably has fleas or worms or some disease that the owners didn't want to pay for. And I don't want to pay for vet bills either," he added pointedly.
Oikawa rubbed his face in its woolly coat, and giggled as the puppy sneezed. "He smells super nice, Iwa-chan! Come pet him."
"Are you even listening to me? You know you have to take it for walks every few hours. That means coming home in between classes and not lurking around the gym hours after practice ends. Do you know how to be responsible for a living thing? Have you even had a houseplant?!"
"Excuse you," Oikawa sniffed petulantly. He stared through the veil of his eyelashes, with the haughty expression he had perfected as a teenager. "I was team captain, remember? I took care of all my cute kouhai. And I coached the Li'l Tykes in my free time, and I took care of Takeru since he was a baby, so yes, I can totally be responsible. Ugh, it's like you have no faith in me at all," he complained loudly.
The puppy tilted its head, then leaned in to lick at his face. Oikawa squealed, playfully pushing it aside.
"Noooo, stop, baby, too many kisses-!"
Iwaizumi rubbed his temples, fighting the onset of a new headache.
"That's different," he tried to reason. They were both adults now. Iwaizumi could have a calm and rational discussion about the realities of their situation without raising his voice or resorting to violence.
"You never had to pay for Takeru's food. You never had to worry about actually raising the kid. You don't seriously think you have time for a pet in the middle of university, do you? You can't give him the attention he deserves. What are you going to do when you have away games?"
Oikawa looked up from where he was play-wrestling the puppy determined to coat his entire body with licks.
Iwaizumi felt a moment's hope when Oikawa's soft brown eyes turned pensive. Oikawa might act like a spoiled child from time to time, but he was an intelligent man and surely he would listen to reason. Iwaizumi wasn't trying to be the bad guy or anything. Honestly, if he believed they could keep the puppy, he would want to.
Then his heart dropped almost immediately at the sight of that cheeky grin. Don't you dare.
"Well obviously, his other daddy will have to take care of him when I'm away," Oikawa winked.
He yelped as the soup spoon bounced off his head.
"Ouch," Oikawa spluttered, sitting up to rub the bump. "Be careful! You should set a better example and control your temper! We're parents now."
Iwaizumi let out a strangled yell of frustration.
God damn it, Tooru.
The oblivious puppy trundled over curiously to sniff Iwaizumi's feet.
He sighed and squatted down low to get a closer look at the offending mongrel. Contrary to what Oikawa would no doubt say, Iwaizumi had always been a dog person. The timing could be better, but it was certainly something he'd thought of before: adopting a dog with his boyfriend.
Could they actually make it work?
He tried not to smile openly as he patted the mixed breed. Pointed ears, and did he see some husky in those blue eyes? If those big paws were any indicator, he wouldn't stay small for long. Mostly husky, then, which would make him wilful and stubborn as he got older. He would need a lot of exercise, too, and they'd need to check the pet size policy for their apartment.
It wouldn't be easy. (Nothing Oikawa wanted ever was.)
The puppy gazed at him with an unusually serious expression, then slowly wagged his tail.
Iwaizumi snorted, and stood up.
Oikawa's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What's so funny?"
"I just see why you're so keen to keep the puppy. It might be good for your terrible personality to have him around, actually!"
Oikawa scrabbled to his feet. "Wait, seriously? What's the catch?"
Iwaizumi's deep chuckle rumbled in his chest as he walked out of the room and returned to the kitchen. The puppy trailed at his feet, halting when he stopped.
"We're gonna have to do some serious budgeting to afford this. No more milk bread and lattes before class until we get him all his vaccinations, that's the catch, dumbass. But I thought of a name for him. Doesn't he remind you of something…? Someone?" Iwaizumi drawled slowly.
Oikawa crowded into the kitchen after them, eyebrows furrowed.
"We-ell, I didn't have a name picked out yet, but you're being weird, Iwa-chan. What are you…"
Iwaizumi stooped down to pick up the puppy. He stood, holding the black animal in front of his mouth, its serious blue eyes shining with innocence.
"Oikawa-senpai, teach me to serve," Iwaizumi mouthed like a ventriloquist.
Oikawa immediately shrieked at the top of his lungs.
"We are not naming my new dog Tobio-chan!"
That night they curled under the covers as a family for the first time.
Iwaizumi's arm draped over Oikawa's side, his face pressed into the crook of his neck. Oikawa sighed drowsily, adjusting his long limbs to curl around the puppy. The puppy was running in his sleep, paws twitching and nose wiggling as he dreamed.
"Good night, Tooru," Iwaizumi murmured.
Oikawa leaned back, pressing a sleepy kiss to Iwaizumi's forehead.
"Love you," he mumbled softly in reply.
"Good night, Tobi," Iwaizumi added a little louder.
Oikawa groaned in protest, curling around the dog.
"Hate youuu," he whined, before slumping into the pillows. "Too tired for your bullshit."
"Mmm, love you too," Iwaizumi responded, wrapping his arms more tightly around his boys. Oikawa hummed happily at his touch, relaxing and soon slipping into slumber himself.
They could make this work. It was worth it.