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The moon illuminates my face, the marks that run across my snow-white skin remind me of who I am. The reflection in the water makes me think about my feelings and what they scream when I think of you.
What they beg to be exposed before you.
I let out a sigh, the air escaping me like every time you cross my mind.
After all, how could I possibly get your attention?
I want you to look at me, feel me, admire me.
I want you to focus only on me, dear light in my darkness.
I want to be your path, so you follow me when you're happy.
I want to be what you love most, so you stop ignoring me.
I want to be your target, so you know which direction to swing your katana.
I want to be everything to you.
I take my position, straightening my posture as I feel your presence. I glance behind me, and there you are.
You hold your katana high, looking at me with a certain disdain. Aren't you happy that I let you live after that wonderful and pleasant battle? Just remembering the night we met, my senses are stirred.
“- Kyojuro.”
“- Demon.”
I smile sideways, turning my body in your direction. You tense up.
“- You can call me by my name, Kyojuro.”
You frown.
“- Come on, dear Kyojuro, saying my name won't hurt you.”
“- I'm not interested. You're still a demon to me, and that's how you'll be treated.”
I sharpened my gaze, taking three steps in your direction. You get into position. I smiled with satisfaction.
“- Oh, Kyojuro,” he murmured, “do you really think you can beat me in your current condition?”
In less than a second, I'm already in front of you, catching you off guard, and you falter for a moment. You raise your sword, shining in every direction, pointing it at my neck.
I let you stab me.
I bring my face close to yours, and you look surprised. I take your face in my right hand, squeezing your cheeks with slight force. You shake yourself, trying to pull away.
“- Scared, Kyojuro?”
“- Not a bit.”
“- Then why are you trembling under my grip?”
You press against my neck, but I see a feeling in your golden eyes, one I haven't seen in a long time. One that was never given to me, even when I was human.
Mercy.
“- You disgust me,” I blurt out without thinking.
“- Same here,” you say regretfully.
You let go of the hilt of your katana and reach for my hands in a vague attempt to free yourself from my grip. I look at you seriously.
Your touch is very warm.
I want to keep it for myself for eternity.
“- What are you doing...?”
I have you pinned to the ground, your katana thrown far away from us, your hands held above your head. You seem surprised, but not scared.
“- What the hell are you doing, demon?”
“- I've never heard you insult anyone before.”
Interesting.
"- Be proud of being the first, idiot."
"- You flatter me, dear Kyojuro. And besides, your adorable sarcasm doesn't work on me."
"- Shut the fuck up."
"- What a tiger you turned out to be, Kyojuro."
I move closer to your face, you keep your gaze on me at all times, how interesting you are.
I open your legs with my knees, positioning myself between them. That seems to make you react, as you try to close them and exert force with your arms.
How cute.
"- Hey."
"- Get your hands off me, you jerk."
I raise an eyebrow, mocking you with my expression. That seems to annoy you even more. I move closer to your face, our noses brushing slightly.
“- Kyojuro...”
A blow surprises me, freeing your hands for a moment, before I grab them again. This time I squeeze harder. You let out a groan of pain.
A headbutt.
“- Go to hell.”
“- We'll go together, dear.”
This time you dare to do more, spitting in my face. That makes a vein stand out in my neck. I squeeze your hands harder, causing you to spasm and moan in pain.
“- Let me go now!”
You struggle in my arms, which fills me with joy. You are so helpless and at my mercy. I am very pleased to be the sole cause of that.
You fight a little longer before losing the last of your strength. I loosen my grip a little, bringing our faces closer together once more.
“- You are charming.”
“- I cannot say the same about you.”
I bring my face close to your neck. I feel you tremble under my grip, you tilt your face toward me. I ignore you. I continue my journey, observing, analyzing, longing.
I breathe deeply when I reach your collarbones, you shudder. I like that. I love being in control of the situation. I love having control over you.
You gasp when I run my tongue along the length of your neck, I feel you clench your hands and tense your legs against my sides. I look at you intensely, your eyes return to mine, you seem confused.
"- What...?"
A small kiss on your Adam's apple.
"- Ah..."
A soft brush of lips on your cheek.
“- Wait...”
A small bite on your collarbone.
“- Akaza.”
I pause, loosening my grip completely. Now I hold your hands at the sides of your head and move closer to your face. We look at each other.
“- Yes, Kyojuro?”
“- I want you to stop.”
“- Now?”
Your lips tremble as I get closer to you. You seem to doubt your words, and I wonder why. Your body yields to my caresses, letting itself be guided by every little touch that caresses your skin.
“- Answer me, do you want me to stop?”
“- I...”
I take a deep bite at the junction of your neck and shoulder, you clench your hands and kick your legs, trying to land a blow on my body. I hold you tighter, subduing your body for me.
He pulled me away, licking your wound before my lips could kiss your skin, you know very well. You know too well. You let out a big sigh, almost running out of breath, you seem to be holding up very well.
I wonder, how much can you take?
“- Get off me.”
“- Didn't you like it? I did, maybe that way people will know who you belong to.”
You look at me with noticeable annoyance.
“- I'm not an object to belong to anyone, much less you.”
It brought a smile to my face.
“- Dear Kyojuro, you already belong to me.”
I run my eyes over your body, which seems to make you uncomfortable, as you shift beneath me. You are strangely tempting. Should I taste more of you to make my point?
“- Look at me.”
You look away, and that bothers me.
“- Look at me.”
I repeat once more, before grabbing your face firmly and turning it toward me. Your spirit falters in the face of my intensity.
“- You belong to me, Kyojuro. Never forget that.”
“- Fuck you.”
I bring our faces closer together, your erratic breathing hitting my cheek, I can feel your tension and doubts at being so close. I can feel you giving in, I smile.
“- Kiss me...”
A strange request, but a very desirable one.
Our mouths move slowly, your lips are sweet and soft, they drive me crazy. Everything about you drives me crazy, addicted to you.
I am completely addicted to you.
To your body, your spirit, your presence.
Everything about you has me in a kind of domination that only you are capable of stopping.
“- Akaza...”
Only you are capable of making my heart beat intensely, my mind cloud over, and my whole body scream to have you forever.
You make me want to be yours.
"- Kyojuro."
You look away, your cheeks red and a small tear falling down your cheek. I gently wipe it away, you tremble under my subtle touch.
"- Move away."
The desperation in your voice makes me curious, maybe, just maybe, something inside you feels guilty about your strange request that has been fulfilled. Why?
"- Akaza, move away."
This time you look at me, seeming self-conscious about something, as if some kind of oath had been tainted and destroyed by this simple, small act of kissing.
You are interesting.
I move away a little, finally releasing your hands, and look at you with intrigue, tilting my head.
"- Didn't you like the kiss?"
You don't answer, you just straighten up a little, and we end up facing each other. You analyze me with your gaze, which gives me a chill; your serious look has just easily dominated me.
"- Didn't you like it?"
"- No."
That answer comes immediately.
I straighten my posture, becoming just as serious. I don't understand.
You seemed to enjoy it, I felt it. You relaxed your body and let your guard down completely. If it had been anyone else, I would have killed you with a single blow, having you at my mercy, under my control.
“- Don't lie.”
"- I'm not."
"- Yes, you are. Tell me, did you like it?"
Your gaze wavers, you look at my lips for a second before returning your gaze to my eyes. You smile sideways.
I run my hands over your neck, opening my legs and settling my body on your lap. I gently stroke your hair, looking at every little part of you, every detail I can store in my memory.
“- Tell me, be honest with me, Kyojuro.”
You hold me by the shoulders, but you don't push me away.
I don't understand you. This side of you fills me with doubts and intrigue. I want to know every part of you so I can belong to you a little more. To try, in some way, to be yours without you having to possess me.
“- Yes, I liked it, but it's wrong.”
“- Why is it wrong if you liked it and I liked it too?”
“- Because we're different.”
“- Is it bad to be different?”
“- Yes.”
“- Why?”
You fall silent. You look away, and I can see there's something you don't want to tell me.
“- Why, Kyojuro?”
You squeeze your hands on my shoulders.
“- Tell me, Kyojuro...” I whisper close to your lips. “Why is it bad that we're different?”
You sigh against my lips, making me tremble with desire to kiss you again.
“- Because we can't be together. Because at any moment, you and I will be forgotten. Because no matter how much I want to hide it, you're always on my mind, and that confuses me.”
I closed the distance, kissing your mouth tenderly, pulling away and returning with small kisses that you reciprocated with some hesitation.
I don't want you to hesitate, not when it comes to me. I want you to be sure with me. I want you to feel calm around me. I want you to choose me above all else. I want you to make me yours.
“- Tell me, tell me everything you feel. I'll listen to you.”
Your hands descend to my waist, which they easily grasp, and I tighten my grip on your neck. I don't want to be away from you, I want to be with you always. I want to belong to you, body and soul, only if it's you. Only if it's with you.
"- I'm terrified of getting involved with you and failing. Deep down, I know that nothing good will come of a relationship with you."
I rest my head on your shoulder, continuing to stroke your hair. You sigh before saying:
“- I want to know if this feeling is mutual.”
I open my eyes in surprise. What feeling?
“- That time, I hoped you would stay, not to die under the sun, but to know if you cared about me a little. If you had felt that little connection.”
I lift my head, looking into your eyes, full of strange and irresistible feelings that make my heart beat wildly.
And in any case, we both know that nights were made mainly for saying the things we can't say in the morning.
“- Go on.”
"- For some time now, I've been wondering if your heart is still open to those feelings..."
Your hands gently move up the curve of my hip, making me let out a small sigh. They stop at my shoulders, where they apply slight pressure, and I let out another sigh.
"- To that human feeling that I desperately long for."
My eyebrows furrow slightly in your direction. Human feeling? What do you mean by that? You let out a soft laugh. I guess I have a funny expression for you.
"- Calm down and stop frowning, Akaza."
I snort, gently tugging at one of your strands of hair. You let out a groan, followed by a slap on my shoulder. Now I let out a laugh.
"- So, you have the guts to hit me but not be honest with me unless I pressure you to be?
You blush slightly.
“- Shut up, it's hard for me to express myself.”
“- It wasn't that hard a while ago, don't you think?”
I steal a kiss from you, referring to the not-so-discreet request you gave me. You let out a kind of complaint, and I smile at it.
“- Go on, Kyojuro, I want to know everything you think, feel, and desire.”
My body remains on top of yours, my hands around your neck, waiting patiently for you to let go of everything you feel, waiting to see how far we can go if you decide to give me the trust that I am also giving you.
You seem to be lost in uncontrollable and strange thoughts, your expression changes from time to time, I keep waiting. You seem to have feelings you don't want to admit. Desires that embarrass you. Requests that you think I won't fulfill.
Kyojuro, if only you knew...
"- Look at me. Listen to me."
You raise your gaze in my direction, at some point you lowered it and I didn't notice. I try to smile before saying:
“- I could burn myself, walk under the bright sun, burn in the flames of hell itself, just so that...”
I leave the sentence hanging, because I'm not sure about using that word, but when I see the spark of interest in your fiery gaze, I know I must.
"- Just so you would love me as I love you. So that your heart would beat faster when you think of me, when you hear me, when you see me, when you feel me."
I lean against your neck, sinking in and breathing deeply the delicious scent that surrounds you. So sweet, so strong, so wonderful.
I love every part of you, so ephemeral that I'm afraid you'll disappear at my slightest touch.
"- I would give, I would give up, and I would try harder than I could just for you. Just so you would love me as I love you. Just so your heart would beat wildly like mine does when I see you."
I take the hand that is resting on one of my thighs and shyly bring it to my chest, where my heart is beating so fast that I feel it will burst out of my chest at any moment. Your surprised face, followed by a deep blush on your cheeks, is the only response I need.
Silence reigns between us. I hold your hand on my chest, hoping you understand how difficult it was for me to say those words with the confidence I did.
You let out a sigh and look at me intensely, the flames of your spirit burning in a way I've never seen before. My body trembles. Something unexpected is about to happen. I'm anxious, eager.
Do it.
Do it, Kyojuro.
I'm ready for anything.
Make me yours, please, I just want you to do it.
“- I would like to give up this love, but it would cause harm. To you, to me, to us,” your deep, hoarse voice sends shivers down my spine.
What you've said confuses me. I don't understand if you want to do that or if you want to avoid doing it. My eyes close as you approach my face. Your gaze is serious, but with a sparkle I can't quite identify, which I find most attractive.
"- Look at me. Listen to me."
The same words I used, my calm smile seems about to fade, when once again you manage to surprise me with something as simple as a conversation.
"- I could give up my position for you, I could betray my legacy and spirit to follow you. I could leave my family behind to protect you, I could endure that pain if I have you by my side at the end of the day."
I let out a small gasp of surprise. Would you really do that? Would you do that for me? For a demon who has not an ounce of mercy and could destroy you in less than a second? Would you?
I see you sigh, your right hand moving from my chest to my neck, where you caress me before applying a little pressure. I am surprised by such a daring touch. I look at you with shining eyes, perhaps now I understand that sparkle you also have in your gaze.
“- I could give you every fleeting part of me, I could give you my humanity, what makes me so special, what you surely love too. I could give you my heart so you can feed on its beats, which are only for you and because of you.”
That last sentence turns my stomach, making me gasp audibly. The pressure on my neck increases, and now your left hand moves from my thigh to my waist, where you squeeze me before starting to move me against you.
My body writhes on top of yours.
I don't know how to feel about this. It's so new, so unique, so special. I don't want it to ever end. I don't want you to leave my side, I don't want you to leave me. I want you to stay.
I could let myself be devoured by your kisses, let myself fall into the temptation of feeling your caresses. I could allow you to take my body, my skin with your marks would be my pride, I could let you treat me as you please.
You come dangerously close to my face, I let out a sigh against your lips, you smile. But it's not the smile I fell in love with, it's different, something alerts me. Your hands press harder, I let out another gasp against your cheek, you lean over me.
You reach my neck, where you give me a kiss, then two, then three... I lose count, you are mistreating my body as you please, I melt at your touch that makes my skin boil, makes me tremble before these new sensations.
"- The secrets I keep in my heart."
Your voice keeps me attentive even though I continue to tremble on top of you.
"- They're harder to hide than I thought."
Go on, go on, I want to know everything.
"- Maybe... "- you murmur, I open my eyes expectantly "- Maybe..."
Maybe I just want to be yours.
Before you continue, I kiss you.
Because I know, I know what you want.
Because I want it too.
“- I want to be yours, Kyojuro.”
I manage to say after a moment, pulling my face away to look directly into your eyes, which are surprised. Both wide open, you remind me of an owl. I let out a small laugh at that image.
“- Don't be so surprised, it's kind of obvious on my part. And I'm sorry...”- I murmur the last part with a hint of guilt. “- I didn't mean to interrupt, it's just that I'm constantly on the verge of trying to kiss you, and you kept saying all those things while looking at me like that.”
You squeeze my waist, which makes me jump with surprise. Your eyes, full of emotion, stare at me, and I tremble again on top of you, my body feeling several degrees warmer than normal.
“- What shape?”
“- As if you wanted to devour me.”
You kiss me immediately, I let out a gasp between kisses, you squeeze my neck and waist, you make me writhe on top of you. It's messy, intense, without delicacy, as if you were desperate to silence my mouth with yours. I despair, I want more, I need more.
“- Maybe I want to be yours too, Akaza.”
You finally say it, confidently, with great passion. You kiss me again, I let you have me, because as much as I don't want to admit it, I've always wanted things to end up this way for both of us.
Because I am sure, very sure of this, that I am too busy being yours to fall in love with someone else. Too busy to give my heart to anyone other than you.
My pupils dilate at a sudden thought that crosses my mind. We could be together, if you wanted to. I'll leave the choice of our destiny up to you, I'll leave you with all the responsibility for my feelings, as well as what you do with my body.
“- Nice view,” you smile sideways as you pull away from me.
I'm probably a mess, and the reflection I see in your eyes confirms it. My hair is messy, the vest I'm wearing has ended up on the floor, my pupils are completely dilated, and my cheeks are very red. My snow-white skin has been almost forgotten.
I hug your neck, leaving light kisses on your lips, small and fleeting, I don't want it to end. I want it to continue until one of us is completely exhausted.
Now it's my turn to make a request. I settle myself on your lap, rocking my hips against yours, my eyes conveying everything I want you to do to me. And I know you understand when your hands grip my waist to help me with that sensual movement, so new to both of us.
“- Be mine.”
A sincere smile appears.
“- I always have been.”
Because, perhaps, after so much touching and words laden with desire, both of you just want to belong to each other, body and soul, for all eternity. To belong to each other until one of you takes their last breath.
THE END