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“Alas, our frailty is the cause, not we, For such as we are made of, such we be!” – Twelfth Night, Act 2, Scene 2
Viola hadn’t expected it to be this hard.
And she couldn’t believe she was doing this to herself. Two hours of non-stop practice, sprinting up and down the field like a maniac, and she was already half-dead. Well, more like three-quarters dead. Her lungs were on fire, her legs were jelly, and to top it all off, she was stuffed into a full hoodie, binder, and the most amateur packing job known to mankind: a pair of tube socks duct taped into a short tube and secured inside sliding shorts, all held close and tight with an extra layer of spandex. It was basically like a personal sauna. Sweat dripped down her back, her chest felt like it was being crushed by a very angry bear, and she was pretty sure she hadn’t taken a full breath since Duke had started yelling out drills. The makeshift binding situation definitely wasn’t helping and she really shouldn’t be exercising in this setup but desperate times called for desperate measures.
‘Why am I doing this again?’ Viola wiped at the sweat to keep it from falling into her eyes. ‘Oh right, because I'm completely insane.’
“Let's go, Sebastian! Pick up the pace!” Duke's voice boomed across the field, followed by an ear-splitting whistle blast.
‘Oh, shit, that’s me!’ She straightened up from her bent-over, gasping-for-air position, trying to remember how normal people stood when they weren’t on the brink of collapsing. As she did, she caught sight of Olivia perched on the bleachers, looking impossibly put-together. Crap. The science project. She'd totally spaced on the fact that they were supposed to meet after practice.
“You good, man?” Duke clapped her on the back, snapping her out of her internal monologue. “You’re, like, weirdly quiet for someone who usually talks a lot.”
“Oh. Yeah, totally... just... you know, uh... conserving energy,” Viola wheezed, her voice strained. She gave him a thumbs-up that was more like a ‘please don’t make me run anymore’ signal. Smooth, Viola. Real smooth.
Duke grinned, probably totally oblivious to her suffering. “First day of conditioning is always brutal. Keep it up, you might keep pace next week.”
Next week? I might not even survive ‘til dinner.
Viola forced a grin, though her legs were shaking and flashed a big thumbs up; not in a “Wow, I’m so pumped, brotha!” kind of way.
No, this was more of a why-am-I-pretending-to-be-my-brother-and-also-why-did-I-think-binders-and-tube socks-were-a-good-idea kind of way. Her hoodie felt like it was practically glued to her skin, and she felt like she was breathing through a straw thanks to her improvised binding. Two hours of soccer practice in this get up? She freaking deserved a medal. And a medical evaluation. Both physically and psychologically. This whole setup was ridiculously unsafe and she was hella sure she was going to pass out if she had to do wind sprints like this again.
Viola, mental note to self: research how to bind properly later because there was no way in hell she’d survive the next two weeks of this amateur hour disaster.
She was halfway through another painful stretch when Duke nudged her, nodding toward the bleachers. “Hey, look! Olivia’s here.”
“Oh yeah, meeting her after school,” Viola mumbled to her knees.
Duke's eyebrows shot up. “You're meeting her? How'd you forget that?”
Viola shrugged. “Lab thing. She said after practice. And it is after practice. so…”
“Wild,” Duke muttered. “Eunice didn't even ask to meet up.”
"Probably didn't wanna bug you," Viola said. "You know, practice and all."
Duke rolled his eyes, letting out a sigh like the universe was personally out to get him. “I wouldn't mind meeting up after practice if it was Olivia.”
Viola chuckled, shaking her head. So typical. “Yeah, but with Malcolm hanging around her, it’s hard to get anything done, honestly.”
Duke made a face, letting out a grunt of disgust. “Again? Malcolm’s... just... ugh." He waved his hand dismissively, as if that gesture alone summed up Malcolm’s entire existence. "Dude’s like a walking distraction. Plus his obsession with Olivia is creepy.”
“Tell me about it,” Viola agreed.
He stretched again, stealing quick glances at Olivia like he was trying to act casual but he was about as subtle as a neon sign.
Viola almost envied Duke’s simplicity. Soccer and girls. No messy layers. No pretending to be someone else. No binders threatening to suffocate him in the August heat.
“Hey,” Duke whispered, “don't forget to bring me up with Olivia. Work me in there.”
Viola blinked, realizing she’d have to be the wingman. Right. Mission mode. She nodded, though her brain was already zoning out, trying to remember how to breathe after such a brutal practice. "Sure thing, Romeo. I'll tell her all about how you can burp the alphabet. That'll sweep her off her feet for sure."
Duke's face lit up like Christmas had come early. "Really? You think that'd work?"
Oh, Duke, Viola thought, you sweet, simple creature.
Just then, Toby jogged over, grinning from ear to ear. “Yo, Sebastian! You coming to Cesario’s later?”
Viola blinked, momentarily thrown. “Cesario’s?”
“Yeah, team bonding or whatever. Coach's idea.” Toby shrugged. “You in?”
“Oh, uh, can't,” Viola stammered, gesturing vaguely towards Olivia. “Got a... thing.”
Toby's eyes widened, glancing between Viola and Olivia. “A thing, huh? Nice, bro.” He held up his hand for a high five.
Viola weakly slapped his hand, forcing a grin. “Yeah, for, you know... science.”
Duke's jaw dropped as he looked between Toby and Viola. “Dude!” he hissed at Toby, his voice cracking slightly.
Toby, catching on, glanced at Duke's betrayed puppy face and then back at Viola. “Oh, right. Whoops.” He grinned sheepishly. Turning to Duke, he shrugged, “Sorry, man. Told you some guys just walk into the light. The man's got game.”
Viola felt her face heat up, caught between wanting to laugh and wanting to disappear into the ground. “It's not like that,” she protested weakly. “It's just a project, seriously.”
“Oh, I bet,” Toby snickered, ducking as Duke swatted at him.
Duke, still looking like someone had stolen his favorite soccer ball, turned to Viola. “Just... don't forget what we talked about, yeah?”
Viola nodded, feeling a twinge of guilt. “Yeah, of course. No worries, man.”
As Toby jogged off, dragging a reluctant Duke with him, Viola blew out a slow breath. Cool. Cool cool cool. It was fine. Playing matchmaker while pretending to be her brother; what could possibly go wrong?
She glanced towards the bleachers, catching Olivia’s eye. Her heart stuttered.
Nope. Nuh-uh. That was definitely just leftover trauma and exhaustion from those evil wind sprints and burpees Coach rained down like punishment from the gods. Nothing more. Nothing less.
She pressed a hand to her chest, willing it to calm as if she could physically hold her feelings in place.
“I’m fine,” she muttered to herself. “It’s fine. It's completely normal to lose control of your cardiovascular system because someone smiled at you.”
She glanced back up. Olivia was still looking at her with that soft, curious smile, like she saw her and Viola’s stomach did that weird, swoopy thing again.
Not butterflies, though. No sir, she’s sure. Nope. Definitely not. More like…bats. With flamethrowers. In roller skates. And her hair smells like coconut shampoo and maybe, like, summer and soft lighting?
Okay…but like. She’s hot, sure. And smart. And funny in that dry, effortless way that wrecks your whole week.
Viola blinked hard. Shook her head. Get it together.
“I like guys. I’ve always did,” she muttered to herself, voice just barely above a whisper. Like saying it out loud would make it more true.
She looked at Olivia again who hadn’t stopped smiling and panic flared bright in her chest.
“She’s looking at Sebastian,” Viola hissed under her breath, pointing a mental finger at herself. “Not you, Viola. Not the girl inside this very sweaty and confusing disguise. The dude. Your brother. Let’s all remember the assignment, please.”
Another beat.
Then quieter: “You’re not a dude, Viola. Or gay.”
…Right?
No. No no no. This was definitely a hydration issue. This was a she-needs-a-nap-and-a-snack crisis. Not a sexuality crisis. And certainly, not some big capital - F.
“I just need a Gatorade,” she mumbled to herself, pressing her hand to her chest again, and willing her heart to knock it off.
She threw Olivia a too-bright smile and mouthed, “Five minutes,” like everything made sense and her entire identity wasn’t unraveling under a set of stadium bleachers on a Tuesday.
Totally fine. Totally normal. Nothing to see here.
Viola ran through the To-Dos.
Help Duke out. Get Olivia to go out with him.
Then land the starting spot for Illyria and absolutely destroy Cornwall in the Homecoming game all to prove Justin and Coach Pistonek monumentally wrong.
Easy. Super duper easy. All of it was gonna be…
Ugh.
(Just keep swimming, Viola.)
The late afternoon sun cast long golden shadows across the campus, the warm glow softening the edges of buildings and trees. Viola dragged herself towards Olivia, who waited patiently by the bleachers. Every step felt like a monumental effort, her muscles screaming in protest after the grueling practice.
“Hey," Viola managed, trying to sound more Sebastian-like and less like someone who'd just been run over by a truck. She winced internally at how strained her voice sounded.
Olivia smiled brightly, her bag slung casually over her shoulder. “Hi, Sebastian! You good to go?”
“Yeah, of course.” Viola shoved her hands deep into her hoodie pockets, trying to look casual while taking the opportunity to hide the tremor that ran through her knuckles.
As they started walking away from the fields, Viola couldn't help but notice how effortlessly relaxed Olivia looked. It was totally unfair, considering Viola felt like a sweaty, exhausted mess next to her.
“So,” Olivia said, lips quirking up, “rough practice?”
Viola snorted, shaking her head. “Rough? I feel like I've been hit by a bus. Or ten buses. Maybe one of them was even on fire.” She stumbled slightly, her tired legs betraying her.
Olivia's laugh rang out, light and musical pulling at something inside Viola. She stepped closer, reaching out to steady her, her fingers curling around Viola’s bicep as she threaded her arm through Viola’s. The warm grip sent an unexpected jolt straight through Viola’s chest, like a spark igniting in the midst of her fatigue.
“Yeah? You looked pretty intense out there,” Olivia said. “Didn't stop once. I was impressed.”
“Yeah. That’s because if I stopped, I’d never get back up again,” Viola muttered, her voice a little too tight. She winced internally, kicking herself for sounding like a total wuss. Great, very manly, Viola. Talking about collapsing like a sack of potatoes.
She cleared her throat, trying to recover her dignity. “But, y’know, part of the grind. Gotta keep pushing if you wanna get better.” The words sounded forced even to her own ears, like she was trying to convince herself of that fact more than Olivia.
Olivia’s smile softened, pulling at the corners of her mouth in a way that made Viola feel seen. “I get that. I used to feel the same way about dance, like, if I wasn’t completely exhausted at the end, I wasn’t doing enough.”
Viola blinked, thrown off by the unexpected revelation. Dance? "Wait... you dance?"
Olivia shrugged, an easy motion that belied the nostalgia behind it. “Used to. Ballet, mostly. Not so much anymore.”
Viola stared, the shock pulling at her jaw while her eyes blew wide. She sputtered.. "Y-Y-You? Ballet?! Really?”
With a teasing glint in her eyes, Olivia raised an eyebrow. “What, you don't think I'm graceful enough?”
Heat flooded Viola’s cheeks as her mind involuntarily conjured an absurd image of Olivia in a tutu. She coughed into her shaking hand before attempting to wipe the panic away on her hoodie. “N-no, no! I just, uh... I mean, ballet’s hardcore, right? I tried it once. Uh- well, I mean, uh, my sister did, actually," she added quickly, stumbling over her words. “And... yeah, you know she didn’t last very long.”
“It is hardcore, yes,” she said with a playful grin. “My feet were always a mess.”
“Yikes.” Viola winced. “Okay, I take it back, soccer's a breeze compared to that.”
Olivia's expression turned wistful. “It wasn't all bad. The music, the movement... it felt good.” Her smile faded slightly. “My ex didn't get it, though.”
Viola tilted her head, her curiosity piqued. “The college guy, right?”
Olivia’s expression shifted, surprise flickering across her face. “How’d you know?”
Viola scrambled for an explanation. Oh,boy. “Uh... I-I think I heard the guys mention it... in passing. You know, locker room talk.”
Olivia sighed but didn’t seem upset. “Yeah, I figured. Word gets around. Now every guy thinks it's open season, and some girls think I'm an idiot.”
Olivia’s sigh echoed through the air, a sound filled with both resignation and an upbeat kind of frustration. Viola noticed how Olivia’s shoulders twisted slightly, pulling inward like a turtle retreating into its shell. Viola knew this was a silent admission of defeat that was honestly all too relatable. More than Olivia probably realized. “Yep, that sucks,” she said, trying to sound casual even as a swell of sympathy washed over her. “People can be real jerks sometimes. It's like they get off on other people's drama or something. Makes 'em feel better about their own crappy lives, I guess.”
Whoa, where'd that come from?!
Olivia looked at her, surprise flickering across her face. She reached out, her fingers brushing Viola's arm lightly. The casual touching more normal now but still dizzying. “You don't have to apologize for them. I'm used to it.” Her voice was steady, but Viola could hear a hint of... something underneath. “But thanks. For getting it. And not, you know, judging me like everyone else.”
Viola’s heart trilled at the constant contact.. She shrugged, trying to play it cool. Hoping against hope that Olivia couldn’t hear Viola’s heart pounding in her chest. “Hey, no judgment here. We've all got our stuff, right?”
Olivia's smile turned a bit sad. “Yeah, well... the breakup wasn't even the worst part, you know? I knew it was over way before it actually ended. I was just mad at myself for wasting so much time on him. Didn't even realize I was just some trophy girlfriend until it was too late. Something to show off to his friends.”
She stopped, shaking her head. “God, sorry. I didn't mean to dump all that on you.”
Viola grinned, trying to lighten the mood. “Hey, no worries. I'm here to listen. That's what friends are for, right? Or, uh, friendly acquaintances. Whatever.” She mimicked locking her lips and tossing an invisible key. “And don't worry, I'm like a vault. Fort Knox level security here.”
Olivia laughed, the tension in her shoulders easing a bit as she watched Viola's goofy gesture. “Fort Knox, huh?”
“Absolutely." Viola nodded, her face comically serious. “Top secret clearance and everything.”
Olivia laughed softly, and they fell into a comfortable silence. As they kept on walking, Viola snuck a glance at her. The late afternoon sun cast a warm glow, turning Olivia's hair into a golden halo. Viola blinked, her brain stuttering. Woah, did I just think of that?
Viola mentally slapped herself, looking away before her brain could embarrass her further. What’s the matter with you, Viola? She was barely holding herself together with duct tape and sheer willpower at this point. Now was not the time for... whatever this was. Focus, dude. You're supposed to be Sebastian, remember? Definitely not some weirdo who gets distracted by a pretty girl with pretty hair.
“So,” Olivia said, breaking the silence, “our science project. Magnesium and hydrochloric acid.”
“Right, yeah…” Viola nodded, her mind struggling to switch gears. “Magnesium and... the other stuff.”
Olivia laughed softly, and for some reason, again, it decidedly did not make Viola feel as stupid as it should have. "Hydrochloric acid," she said gently, her smile widening a little.
“Right! Hydrochloric acid. Totally knew that,” Viola replied with a grin, even though she absolutely did not know that.
As they stopped at an outdoor table, Olivia leaned in slightly. “You sure you're up for this? You seem pretty wiped.”
Viola straightened up, putting on her best “I’m totally fine” face. “Nah, I’m good. Don’t worry. Just a little soccer fatigue. I’m totally ready to talk about... reactions. Explosions. Y’know, all the exciting chemistry stuff.”
Olivia raised an eyebrow, amused. “Explosions? Please tell me you’re not planning on blowing up the lab.”
Viola grinned, trying to match Olivia’s playful energy. “Not intentionally, but hey, accidents happen. Besides, who wouldn’t want a little excitement in chemistry class, right?”
Olivia shook her head, her smile still in place. “You’re kind of hopeless, you know that?”
They shared a laugh, and for a moment, the exhaustion completely faded.
“Yeah, I’ve heard that once or twice,” Viola said with a shrug, leaning back in her chair, trying to seem relaxed despite the fact she felt like collapsing. “But, in my defense, I’m really more of a... ‘kick a ball into a net’ kind of person. Chemistry’s... well, not my thing.”
Olivia looked at her, a curious glint in her eye. “I bet you're not as bad as you think. You're just... tired.”
Viola grinned, appreciating the kindness in Olivia’s words, even if she wasn’t totally convinced. “Thanks, but tired’s an understatement. I feel like a zombie. A soccer-playing zombie.”
“Well, you do look dead on your feet,” Olivia teased lightly.
“I swear, I’m usually better at this.” Viola rubbed the back of her neck. “I just... really need to make the first string before the Cornwall game, and it's kind of driving me crazy.”
Olivia tilted her head slightly. “First string? Why’s that game so important?”
Viola felt the words bubbling up before she could stop them. “It's... uh, well...my sister's ex plays for Cornwall. Total tool, by the way. I want to crush him. Y'know, for her. Not for me or anything." She cringed inwardly, knowing how weak that excuse sounded.
Olivia studied Viola, her smile softening. “For your sister, huh? Totally not personal at all?"
Viola chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck again. "Okay, maybe a little personal. I just want to set the record straight with him, you know? Show him that we’re not to be messed with. It’s, uh, purely honorable. And completely not about me wanting to kick his ass." She tried to force a grin, hoping it would mask the exhaustion and weird vulnerability creeping in.
Olivia tilted her head, a soft smile playing on her lips. “It’s kind of sweet, in a weirdly competitive way. You’ve definitely got your priorities straight. So... beating Cornwall, that’s part of the big plan?”
Viola shifted a bit, glad for a change in topic. “Yeah, sorta. I mean, I really want the scouts to notice me too. I'm gunning for North Carolina, you know? For college.”
Olivia’s eyebrows shot up. "North Carolina? That’s pretty serious."
Viola grinned sheepishly, feeling a weird mix of pride and nerves. “I mean, yeah, it’s the dream. I want to get a scholarship... and then play for a real team, y’know? It's... kinda a big deal, I guess.”
Olivia nodded, genuine interest in her eyes. “That's actually pretty cool. Sebastian, for what it’s worth, I hope you get it. North Carolina.”
Viola blinked, surprised by how understanding and genuine Olivia was. It felt good. No, scratch that. It felt really good to say it out loud, and to someone who wasn’t giving her the side-eye. “Thanks” Viola mumbled, feeling a little embarrassed but grateful.
“Just don't forget about our project while you're chasing your dreams,” Olivia teased.
Viola laughed. “I’ll do better, I swear, man. I mean, as much as I love soccer, I know school’s important too. I’ll make sure to study tonight... after I, uh, ice my legs.”
She paused, realizing she'd never really talked about her goals like this before. Heck, she hadn’t even told her parents she wanted to earn a scholarship. They could pay for school without blinking, but that wasn’t the point. She wanted to do this herself. Be self-made. Earn it, just like every other player out there.
It felt oddly freeing to open up, even if it was while pretending to be her brother.
Olivia chuckled softly, bringing her back to reality. “Well, considering you haven’t blown anything up in our lab yet, I think you’re doing alright.”
“Yeah, fair enough.” Viola grinned, relieved.
Olivia tilted her head, her eyes sparkling mischievously. “Besides, chemistry is just about reactions, right? I think you've got a pretty good handle on those.” She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, smiling in that effortless, playful way that made Viola's stomach do somersaults.
Now Viola's sure her brain just short-circuited.
Her hands fumbled with her bag, which promptly fell to the floor, sending papers flying everywhere. “Um, oh my god–” She scrambled to gather everything, nearly knocking her chair over in the process. Great job, Viola. Super smooth. Totally a ladies' man.
“Need a hand?” Olivia teased, leaning down to help, her eyes twinkling with amusement.
Viola’s heart raced as she clumsily shoved papers back into her bag. She has to be joking, right? But also... was that cute? No, no, focus.
Viola laughed nervously. “Yeah, uh, no worries. Just... testing out Newton's laws. Getting ready for Physics. Gravity seems to be working fine.”
Olivia grinned, her eyes twinkling. “Oh yeah? So if I started falling towards you, would you exert an equal and opposite force?”
Viola blinked, caught off guard. “Uh, what?”
"You know," Olivia said, playfully nudging Viola's arm. "Newton's third law. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction?"
“Oh!” Viola stammered, feeling her face heat up as she met Olivia’s gaze. The warmth between them seemed to flutter in the air, making it so difficult to think straight. “R-right, yeah. T-totally. I mean, uh... if you fell towards me, I'd... I'd catch you-no. I mean hold you. Wait, no. Wait. No p-push! I’d push back. With the same force. Sure, that’s how it works right? Equal and opposite.”
So smooth. Oh yeah. How does Sebastian actually do this?
Olivia let out a small sigh, so soft Viola almost missed it. But there was still amusement in her voice as she replied, “My hero. Good to know you've got my back, Sebastian.”
Viola's stomach flipped. Had she said something wrong? Olivia was still smiling, but there was a hint of... something in her eyes. Disappointment, maybe? Viola couldn't quite place it, but she felt a sudden urge to say something clever, anything to bring back that full, bright smile she was starting to enjoy so much.
Scrambling for words, Viola blurted out, “You know what they say gravity is a harsh mistress, but I'm a gentleman.” She immediately cringed internally. Was that even remotely funny? Or just weird?
To her surprise and relief, Olivia burst into laughter, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Oh my god, Sebastian, that was terrible,” she said between giggles, but her smile was radiant.
Viola found herself grinning back, oddly pleased. She wasn't sure what she'd done right, but making Olivia laugh like that felt surprisingly good. Not that it meant anything, of course. She was just being friendly.
For Duke's sake. Right?
Either way, she wasn't going to dwell on it. Stay cool, Viola. She cleared her throat, picking up her pen like it was some kind of shield. "Alright," she said, with a grin that felt a little more natural now, “now let's figure out how not to blow up the lab tomorrow.”
Olivia chuckled, shaking her head. “That’s the spirit.”
Viola twirled the pen in her fingers. "I mean, worst-case scenario, we’ll have some fireworks."
“Fire?” Olivia raised an eyebrow.
“Hey, I’m just saying,” Viola replied, trying and failing to look serious, “a little chaos keeps things interesting.”
Olivia nudged her playfully. “Let’s aim for no fire this time.”
“Fine,” Viola sighed dramatically. “We can save the pyrotechnics for finals.”