Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

???: N…

N appears close up and gasps at the sound of his name. He looks around for the source, finally squinting into the readers.

???: N…

The hypothetical camera reverses viewpoints from him to show her. Sitting on a tall stack of robot corpses was Uzi. on top. N begins to run through the snow and rubbles toward her.

Uzi: N~

N: UZI!!

Uzi is holding a Magnetically Amplified Photon Converger (Railgun for easy mentioning) gently firing it as it blasts over unsuspecting victims near N. Mesmerized by the green laser penetrating his direction, as it made a hole on an abandoned building toppling it down. Uzi leaps from atop the stack of robot corpses and gracefully glides down toward N with her eldritch wings. N attempts to catch her, but they end up falling down on the snow covered ground. They giggle for a while, then look at each other. N sighs. Uzi puckers her artificial mouth for a kiss. 

Suddenly the sky changes to overcast gray and the wheat changes to thorns. Uzi gasps and draws away, shocked. The camera switches to N, who now has incredibly large dentures for a face!

N: (*partly mumbling*) What’s wrong?

N now notices his dentures. Then his ears grow, and his hands go from armed and grey-ish robotic to more colorful and silly. Uzi backs off, horrified, gagging at the sight. N's feet shrunk so small it became simple nubs and he continues to shrink as he floats and changes with rubbery cartoonish effects until he looks exactly like his father, Caine. Uzi screams. 

N feels a maniacal Caine-esque laugh force its way out of his throat like a madman ringmaster. His entire head had turned into a set of dentures with two glowing yellowish eyes in his mouth. Lightning flashes as Julius Fucik - Entry of the Gladiators plays along with the endless unstopping laughter.

Like Father, like Son.

Suddenly, we are in N’s bedroom. N gasps and awakes from sleep. He checks his head and his teeth and sighs when he realizes it was just a scary dream. The Guinevere-themed rotary phone on his nightstand keeps ringing and ringing. (Because this is the 90s). 

N, startled by it, fumbles the receiver while answering it, drops it on the floor, then picks it up.

N: Hello? *cough* Hello?

Pomni: (*on phone*) N?! Where the heck are you, man?!

N: Pomni?

Pomni: (*on phone*) You should have been here an hour ago!!

N: What?! What are you… Hold on.  

N hit his alarm clock which was showing 4:02. He spins it realizing the alarm clock was on the wrong side, showing the actual number:

7:50.

Ah, Fiddlesticks!

He leaps out of bed and begins to dress while still on the phone.

Pomni: (*on phone*) Look, maybe we should just call the whole thing off! 

N: Nuh, uh! It’s now or never! (*N gets tangled in the phone cord and falls.*) It’ll be the last day before I grow cold feet again, so I’m not missing this chance!

Pomni: Heh. Well, alright, you better get moving though! I’ll meet you at my locker!

N gets untangled from the phone cord and hangs up, determined in heart and spirit after finally planning, analyzing and setting everything up no matter how many times he was nervous seeing the cool, amazingly goth gremlin Uzi would reject her and leave him a broken Disassembly Drone. But with school’s semester so close to ending and a bigger fear of missing the chance to ask his crush on a date, even getting Pomni as a wingman, how dare he miss this chance like a coward.

Unaware of forming his confidence and goal of getting to school on time, N’s father, Ex-Ringmaster Caine, opens the door to his room. Caine is dressed only in towels and has a vacuum cleaner with him.

Caine: Mornin’, my lovely robotic son!

N: Father! (*his pants fell to the floor when he hung up the phone. He now yanks up his pants out of embarrassment. Even if it’s just flat drone parts.*)

Caine: Oops! Forgot about that, silly me. (*shuts door, knocks, then opens it again*) Mornin’, my amazingly glowing son! I came to see if you had any…dirty…clothes… 

Caine notices that the entire floor is covered with dirty clothes, playfully looking at N mixed with disappointment. Like seeing a girl get his hands in a cookie jar when you say no, and proceeding to launch said girl with a cannon to North Korea.

N: Oh. I’m so sorry dad! (*N is still trying to get dressed, grunting*) I’ll take care of it later. Promise!

Caine: Oh, N. My silly little white haired robo murder machine. Whaaaaaaaaaat’s the big rush? (*Looks to the camera silly like a reality TV actor at an audience, the laugh track didn’t play, on account of Bubble, in charge of sfx, is eating Cyn’s leg as she walks down all Ring Movie like on all fours.*)

N: I’m runnin' late to school. Kind of overslept, hehe.

Caine: Well, I could drive you on my way to work. (*he begins to vacuum up the dirty clothes.*)

N: Oh. That's a very kind offer father. But you have to prepare the car and everything, and I think that takes more time, so I think I’m gonna fly there. Exercise my wing along the way!

Caine: Aw, alright, SoN! But my Cainemobile is still up on the offering table!

The camera then switches to a denture-themed mobile, filled with molars and teeth. There’s a sticker that says ‘Loboto Verified' on its front window. The camera kept rolling at this scene for 5 awkward minutes. 

Caine laughs, allowing the vacuum nozzle to get too close to a cardboard cut out of a singing rock star. The head of it gets sucked in. N, who was almost out the door, shrieks in alarm.

N: AHHH!!!

He grabs the cut out, while Caine holds the vacuum. Finally, N turns off the vacuum and extracts the cut out, which has been curled in a couple of places.

N: Father!! You ruined it!

Caine: …Oh no. WHAT HAVE I DONE!! I’M SO SORRY CURLED UP CARBOARD VERSION OF SENSATIONAL ROCK STAR POWERLINE! WHO’S STARDOM IS BEYOND THIS PLANET!

N: Sigh. It’s only his cutout, Father. We’ll hold his funeral later.

Caine: I’ll bury him in the garden next to Xavier Cugat, The Mambo King! Everybody mambo! Mambo, mambo, mam-bo! (*he begins mambo-ing with a reluctant but willing N.*)

N: Haha! Mambo!! This is fun, AGH! but there’s no time for this! 

Caine: Oh.

N extracts himself from Caine as he looks a bit sad it ended sooner than they usually did and dashes out the door. The hypothetical camera switches to the front of the house as he exits out the front door. Caine comes around from the back.

Caine: N, My Son! Wait up! You forgot your lunch! Have a good day!

Caine kisses N on the forehead as he says goodbye. A few skateboarders passing by see it and start laughing. N grins with excitement. Spread his eldritch wings and fly away to school. The skateboarders gasped, mouths wide open and stunned at the sight crashing into a tree and it fell on top of them.

N: 🎶(*singing*) Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do

I'm half crazy all for the love of you

It won't be a stylish marriage

I can't afford a carriage

But you'll look sweet upon the seat

Of a bicycle built for two

There is a flower within my heart

Daisy, Daisy

Planted one day by a glancing dart

Planted by Daisy Bell

Whether she loves me or loves me not

Sometimes it's hard to tell

Yet I am longing to share the lot

Of beautiful Daisy Bell

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do

I'm half crazy all for the love of you

It won't be a stylish marriage

I can't afford a carriage

But you'll look sweet upon the seat

Of a bicycle built for two.🎶

Uzi passes by N as she too flies. N waves which she smiled like a cool kid does responding to her own crush.

N: 🎶We will go tandem as man and wife

Daisy, Daisy

Pedaling away down the road of life

I and my Daisy Bell

When the road's dark, we can both despise

Policemen and lamps as well

There are bright lights in the dazzling eyes

Of beautiful Daisy Bell

(*Together*)

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do

I'm half crazy all for the love of you

It won't be a stylish marriage

I can't afford a carriage

But you'll look sweet upon the seat

Of a bicycle built for two🎶

This would’ve been a good inspiration for an animatic for the two, if N managed to avoid the school’s flagpole despite Uzi warning him. As he crashed his head in with a clang and dropped down like Willy Coyote head dived first into the ground with a crack and thump. 

Uzi: Oof. Hey, you all right?!

N: Yeah, yeah, I’m okay, I just ah, duh…

N then sees its Uzi while the sun shines behind her, reaching her hand out as he gets her help to stand, “Thanks!” Is what he was gonna say instead of getting completely tongue-tied. Uzi chuckles. N starts laughing, then emits a Caine-like "Uhyuck!" He covers his mouth.

Uzi: (*Snort*)

N: Uhm… Agghhh!! GottagoseeyoulaterUZIBYE!!

N runs away with a cry of anguish blushing red the entire screen of his face. He looks back as Uzi looks at him for a moment. 

Uzi: See ya on the stage, ya cute dork~!

N nodded aggressively at the endearing ‘dork’ comment. And finally ran back. The school bell rings again. We cut inside the high school. 

N: I can’t believe I did that! She finally says "hi" to me and what do I do? I choke! Uhyuck! Like a big spaz! 

N said to himself as he wandered the halls in search of his best friend’s locker. Pomni and N had been friends since middle school. They’d been with each other through thick and thin. Scheme after scheme. And today, is one of their greatest schemes yet before the end of highschool, the big bang that’s gonna change N’s life from dork to dork with a goth/punk gf!

Pomni: Dude! Where have you been?!

N: Hey, PomPom, sorry, I overslept . Did you get the camera?

Pomni: Yeah I got it! Just don’t break it alright, N, if my Mom sees even a scratch of this she’ll kill me! And then my dad’s gonna lecture me but he’s gonna go on a 6-hour tangent on insects again. Are you sure we gotta do this?

N: It’s my only chance, Pomni. To Uzi I’m just a dork drone who's nobody! But after today, when I finally ask her and she’s proud of me…

Pomni: You find me a disassembled cannibal drone that’s got the emotional control of a cinnamon roll and kindness of a golden retriever 

Just then they’re suddenly flooded with light. N & Pomni squints into it.

N: Thad!

Thad is drinking at the fountain with a straw. N and Pomni examine the video equipment on a dolly. With Pomni whistling at the impressive gear.

N: Wow! All this is for us?

Thad: Mmmmm. Slurpage!

N: Oh, this is going to be so great, man! 

N reaches into his backpack, and brings out a bag, handing it to Thad. Thad reaches into the bag and pulls out an aerosol can. A look of ecstasy, awe, and pog comes to his face.

Thad: Cheddar! (*wolf howl*) Cheddar Whizzie! Thank you for the patronage dudes, fundage deal fulfilled, brothers

He sprays an enormous amount of the cheese into his mouth. N and Pomni look close to nausea, well Pomni more, N forms an awestruck look, imagining the plan. Thad smacks his lips and coughs, spraying N and Pomni with cheese.

N: Do you want water with that? Sounded kinda-

Thad: No need (*cough*). Thank you. Mmm *hack*. It's pretty scrumptious! 

Thad wraps his hands around the two anxious and excited.

Thad: Alright. Let’s do it, fellas!

Cut to the school auditorium. The entire school body is there, making noise and throwing paper. V is at the podium in the middle of the stage.

V: As student body president, I just want to say, like, "yea" to all of us for a really neat year.

Lizzy: Yo, V! Talk to me! Talk to me! Talk to me, baby!

V: And also that I hope you can all attend me and my girlfriend Lizzy’s totally amazing end-of-school party next Saturday to watch the Powerline concert live on Pay-per-view.

Students cheer this announcement.

V: Thank you. Thank you very much. And now, without further ado, Principal Mordecai Heller. (*Sudden silence falls. The microphone squeals as Mordecai steps up, adjusting his collar and black cloak as he begins to speak. Cold, and straightforward.*)

Mordecai: Thank you, V. And good morning, boys, girls, others and troublemakers alike. You know, every year, on the last day of school, I have several youngsters approach me and say, "Principal Mordecai, what can we do to not waste our summer vacation? We don’t want to waste our free time sleeping or visiting friends, or hanging out at the mall.” And before you say anything, yes, these are legitimate questions, none of it sarcastic. You may have an idea as to who they are among your classmates.

The student looks around suspiciously. Their first idea was of course, the golden child of the school, N, but today he’s… not here they supposed. So they gave dirty looks to the second likely suspect. Andi crossing her arm next to her friend Frankie chewing a sandwich.

Andi gave everyone staring her signature middle finger.

Mordecai: So then. Let us… workshop some ideas shall we?

Doll: Слушай, Узи. Насчет вечеринки у Ви… (Say, uh, Uzi. About V’s & Lizzy’s party…)

Camera cuts to N, who can see Doll talking to Uzi through a part in the curtain. He closes the curtain, and zips up his Powerline costume.

N: How are you, uh, how are you doing down there, Thad?

Thad: Just a sec. Just gotta twist the thingamajig on the whatsamacallit, twist this wire to the other wire-

Pomni: Ohmygod you don't know what you're doing, give me that!!

Pomni took the tools out of Thad’s hand and tinkers instead. The wires are untangled and there's signs of life on the set.

Pomni: This is nuts! I don’t know why I let you guys talk me into this.

N: You love us.

Pomni: A little too much unfortunately. Okay… it should… be working…

Pomni steps back to check on everything, accidentally trips on the wires backstage “Augh!” and partially goes under the curtain. N grabs her back up before she could drop on the floor.

N: Oh, I hope this works!

Cut back to Mordecai, with a spotlight on him.

Mordecai: …how about Science Slumber Parties? …No? Sigh, Rocky was better at this.

(*The spotlight goes out.*) Wha…

N puts on his shades and gives a thumbs up. It is echoed by Thad and Pomni. A button is pressed. Rock music begins. A large screen begins to rise behind Principal Mordecai.

Mordecai: Wha… what is-?! (*notices the screen rising.*) Hey!

N appears on the screen. Thad pulls a switch.

Mordecai: N?! What is the meaning of this I demand-?! 

A trap door opens up under the podium with it and Principal Mordecai disappears down it before he could hear N saying, “Sorry!” As it was muffled by the crowd's sudden interest. 

Thad laughs. N starts his lip synching.

N: (*lip synching*) 🎶Some people settle for the typical thing: living all their lives waiting in the wings. It ain’t a question of if, just a matter of time, before I move to the front of the line. And once you watch every move that I make, you gotta believe that I got what it takes.🎶

N trips over one of the wire backstage and rips through the screen, tumbling to the front center stage. The students awe & scream their approval.

🎵: 🎶 To stand out above the crowd even if I gotta shout out loud.🎶

N is amazed to see the reception his act is getting. He especially notices the rapt gaze of Uzi in the front row. Thad laughs and tickles Pomni over the success of the plan. Both give N a thumbs up.

🎵:🎶Til mine is the only face you’ll see. Gonna stand out ‘til you notice me.🎶

Thad: (*turns on a CO2 fire extinguisher.*) A little smokage! Arooo-oo-ooo!

N: (*lip synching*) 🎶If I make you stop and take a look at me instead of just walking by, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do if it was getting you to notice I’m alive.🎶

Thad hands Pomni a rope with a hook on it. Pomni sneaks under cover of the CO2 fog and hooks N’s belt from behind. Pomni would've wondered why they needed this if N can fly himself, and then reasoned by Thad that it's more… dramatic.

Pomni shakes her head scoffing, if it means N gives his all…

N: (*lip synching*) 🎶All I need is half a chance, a second thought, a second glance will prove I got whatever it takes. It’s a piece of cake.🎶

Pomni gives Thad the cue, who yanks on the rope and N goes flying around the room.

Pomni: Dramatic flight. Huh, 

🎵: 🎶To stand out above the crowd. Even if I gotta shout out loud.🎶

Verosika Mayday: Wow! Who is that guy?

N grabs a basketball and slam dunks it Space Jam style, someone even even say “Welcome to the Jam” as soon as it hits, closer look it was Verosika apparently, huh, neat.

As he swings back, he reaches out for Uzi’s outstretched hand.

🎵: 🎶‘Til mine is the only face you’ll see. Gonna…🎶

N’s hand grabs Uzi’s as his wings spreads out as Uzi sees what he saw before, a glowing dork boy that her eldritch machine organic mixed heart thumps for in all that Power line glory.

But suddenly the music winds down and dies. The cable is pulled back sending N tumbling and Uzi lands back to the crowd like a slingshot, finally ending up by Principal Mordecai, who removes his shades. An injured anthro frog suddenly stood knowing who that is.

Ribbit: Hey, it’s Dork Drone!

Everyone looks in shock at N, then followed by cheering and Uzi followed along with a big smug blushing smile, appreciatively. 

Thad: We’re busted!

Pomni: My mom’s gonna kill me.

Mordecai: Right, I’ll have to call all of your… ugh… parents. Somebody kill me.

N: I can do that for you!

Mordecai: …I was. Being. SARCASTIC!!

***

The scene cuts to a child photography studio in a discount store far far away, but within Cainemobile distance to school, so it's not too far. Speaking off, Caine is attempting to make a child smile by squeaking a rubber duck and making baby sounds

Caine: A-hyuck! Come on, smile! Smiley wiley!

(*The child is on the verge of tears.*)

Caine: Aw, come on, Lumi! Gimme a big…

(With a strong squeeze, the squeaker on the rubber ducky pops out and Caine accidentally swallows it. He squeaks when he tries to speak. The child likes it and breaks into a big smile. Caine takes advantage of this to begin taking pictures and playing peekaboo with the child. Ken comes up behind Caine, slaps him on the back and knocks the squeaker out of Caine’s throat.)

Ken the Butcher: Stop goofin', around! We got work to do!

Caine: Okay, Lumi, back to mommy, now. A-hyuck! You're such a cute little star. Oh, come back and see me!

(The star child is reluctant to leave Caine but finally waves bye-bye.)

Elios, Galaxy's Sworn Creator: Oh, you have such a way with children!

Ken the Butcher: (*mocking*) yOu hAvE sUCh a wAy wIth chIlDren! Pleh!

Caine: (*approaches the little girl and her… guardian teenager? He seems pretty friendly despite the sharp fangs, being armed with a bat and a familiar face that he may have seen him in a wanted poster somewhere but shrugs along.*) Okay, now! Who’s next over he-

Ken the Butcher: (*knocks Caine out of the way.*) Step aside, Chattermouth. Let a pro show ya how it’s done. Okay! Who’s next over here? Heh, heh! Oh, hello precious..

Molly-Wolly-Doodle-All-the-Way "Molly" Blyndeff kicks Ken in the shin. The rotting skin would've done more damage to her if she didn't dumb it down with her Epithet powers.

Ken the Butcher: '''Doh!''' Ow! You lucky brat! Now-now, now you come on here, honey! It’s picture time!

Molly giggles and hides.

Molly Blyndeff: Peekaboo!

Ken the Butcher: She’s so cute!

Giovanni Potage: She’s my precious minion after all!

Ken the Butcher: Oh yeah. (*Molly stomps him in the toe this time*) Ow. Real adorable minions.

Molly Blyndeff: Peekaboo!

Ken finally catches her.

Caine: Gawrsh, Ken. You sure are good with kids!

Ken the Butcher: Oh, yeah. Well, they love me. 

Ken is holding the little girl by the collar. She attempts to hit Ken and fails. Giovanni gave her his bat and he hit him in the head.

Ken the Butcher: Why, ow, Mel, ow, she’s been beggin' me, ow, to take him on vacation this summer!

Caine: Really? Where are you goin'?

Ken the Butcher: (*Stick the little girl to the set floor, and signal Striker and Mud to help restrain her. Looking away, while the two are getting batted to oblivion begging for mercy to any form of gods out there*) Campin'! Nothin' like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between a father and his daughter.

Caine: Oh, N would always go for anything like that! (*Caine gives the little girl a stuffed Bambi. She put it up high and told the two this is their god now, worship it or die.*). But… It's been so long though.

Ken the Butcher: I don’t know, Caine. Something's wrong when a kid won’t spend time with his parents, worse when they used to, even I’ve been having nightmares. My Mel could grow up way too soon, and me too old to protect her. Hell, for all you know he’s runnin' around with some gang and stealin' stuff and causin' riots… 

He takes the stuffed Bambi from Molly, making her cry. Giovanni smacks his backup bat onto the meat cleaver stuck in Ken’s head. He gave it back to Molly without batting an eye.

Caine: No, N is a good kid. He’d never get mixed up in somethin' like that!

Ken the Butcher: Tell that to Queenie’s Kid.

With a loud boom, we cut to the main office of the high school. N and Thad are sitting, waiting their turn to speak with the Principal. Mr. Rocky Rickaby, secretary, is typing and humming the funeral march, but that's not enough for the anthro cat. He even took out his violin and continued typing with his feet while the funeral march continued. N is totally depressed.

N: I’m a failure--complete loser! My one chance to impress Uzi and I blew it.

Thad: What? No, N! Didn't you see how impressed she looked? By the way, Leaning Tower of cheeza!

Thad stuffs the cheese in his mouth. Pomni comes out of the Principal’s office with a vacant look on his face as N admires it as Pomni nods at Thad’s insatiable hunger for cheese.

Pomni: Well, good news, my parents' camera is safe as sound, no confiscation. Bad news, my Mom’s gonna nag me to death with the principal, joy.

Thad: Hey, Pomni! Detention! Haha!!

Pomni: Up yours.

Mordecai: Thad McMiller Chadsworth.

Thad: ('*nervously'*) Okay, I’m comin'! N, here. (*hands N can of cheese*) Guard this with your life, dude.

Thad wheels the dolly of video equipment into Principal Mordecai’s office. You can see Mordecai’s collection of antique rifles and revolvers in the background, all symmetrical and neat. Thad gives N a double thumbs up.

Thad: Hey, Morde-Mordi! What’s up, bro!

The door to Principal Mordecai’s office shuts, inside they can hear some sort of gunshots, ranging from pistols to tommy guns, yes plural. N puts his head in his hands. Uzi and V come by the office.

V: (*fading in*) …with all those kids in Lizzy's house the place will be like a sauna so I’m all freaked out, but then she says, "Like, use it!" So the new theme's gonna be: "Powerline Goes Rain Forest"! Too much? Uzi, are you listening?

Uzi is looking at N.

V: Ahhhh~!

Uzi walks over to N. V gives Uzi a push toward him.

Uzi: No, I don’t wanna…

V: (*whispering*) Talk to him! You already did before.

Uzi: Yeah but it's different- Agh!

V: I got a bet riding here. You will not cower, Doorman.

Uzi clears her throat a couple of times. N still has his head in his hands and pays no attention. Uzi shrugs at V.

V: (*whispering*) Tap him!

Uzi taps N who immediately sits up, startled. Uzi’s books and papers go flying. N looks at Uzi and smiles. He gets up out of the chair then starts to help Uzi pick up the papers and books.

N: Gosh, I’m... I’m sorry.

Uzi: It’s okay. Really. I mean, hey, mission accomplished. You impressed me.

N and Uzi reach for the same paper at the same time and N’s hand touches hers. They stay that way for a moment, then N withdraws his hand, a bit embarrassed.

Uzi: -I liked your dance. And your singing, and the way you pick me up. I, yeah, I like all, like all of it a lot.

N: Yeah? Yeah! Uh, yeah! It’s from Powerline’s new video!

Uzi: Don't have to tell me twice, I know! Not what I usually listen to, but I've been a fan for a while after trying out. He’s, he’s totally a genius of his music, especially using the 70s aesthetic, and especially if he makes that much of an earworm for drones like me!

N: Uh, yeah! He, he’s doin' a concert next week in L.A.!

Uzi: Oh, yeah! V & her girlfriend is showing it at her party.

N: Yeah!

Uzi: Yeah!

N: Yeah!

Uzi: Yeah!

N: Yeah!

Uzi: Yeah!

N: Yeah!

Uzi: Yeah!

N: Yeah!

Uzi: Yeah!

N: Yeah!

Uzi: …Alright dude, that's your… y’know. Cue to ask?

N: (fidgets and fumbles for a while.) Oh right. Uh… Um, uh, Uzi, I was, uh, sorta kinda thinkin’ that maybe I’d, uh, ask you to (*cough*) go with me, that is, to the … party. Of course if you don’t want to I’d completely understand!

Uzi: Ohmygod bite me. Yes. Yes. YES!!

N: Yeah?

Uzi: Yeah!

N: Good!

Uzi: Great!

N: Terrific!

Uzi: Wonderful!

N: All right!

Uzi: Okay!

V: (Grabs Uzi’s arm and begins to drag her away.) Come on, Uzi. We don’t wanna belabor the moment now, do we?

Uzi: Well, I’d better be going.

N: I’ll, uh, call you later!

Uzi: Okay! Bye! (*she backs into the door. Giggles nervously, then with a final "Bye." leaves the office.*)

V: See? That wasn’t so bad! I told you he’s so easy to deal with!

Uzi: Bite me. But yeah… you're right.

V: Oh, Honey. I’m always right.

N: Yes! She said yes! Woo hoo hoo hoo! Everybody mambo! 

N grabs Mr. Rocky and beings to mambo with him

Rocky Rickaby: It’s not my break yet! …Ah what the heck! MAMBO BABY!!

Hearing the commotion, Thad and Principal Mordecai come out of the office.

Thad: Yeah! Dance with him! Groove with him!

Mordecai: Rocky!!

Rocky Rickaby: (*sing-songish*) Yes sir!

Mordecai: Get that boy’s… lord father almighty help me, his father on the phone at once!

Rocky Rickaby: (*sing-songish*) Right away, sir!

Cut to Caine answering the phone at the Discount Store.

Caine: Hello, my little cringemuffins.

Mordecai: (*shudders in disgust*) Do not call me that or I will kill you.

I mean. Yes, Mr. Caine. This is Principal Mordecai. I’m calling in regard to your son, Serial Designation N.

Caine: N? Oh my gosh! Is he hurt?

Mordecai: No, Mr. Caine. He’s- 

Caine: Oh no,  Is he dead?!

Mordecai: If only. No, Mr. Caine, he’s-

Caine: Gasp! Is he… Joining the Korean Mafia?!

Mordecai: It’s worse, he’s indeed dressing like a gang member.

Caine: Wait, Gang member, he’s dressed like one?!

Mordecai: Indeed. Your son caused the entire student body to break into a riotous '''frenzy!'''

Caine: Riot? It couldn’t be my-

Mordecai: And disappointingly it is. I had thought him a model student, and yet he’s here. Unapologetic, even flirting mid-detention and he’s MAMBOING IN FRONT OF MY OFFICE. If I were you, Mr. Caine, I’d '''seriously''' re-evaluate the way you’re raising your child, before he ends up '''''IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR!'''''

Caine: The electric chair? (He lets the phone drop.) What am I gonna do? (he is suddenly bathed in a beam of blue light.)

***

Mordecai: …Well, what's done is done I suppose. Teach him to cut me off.

***

'''PA''': Blue light special on aisle 3. Blue light special on aisle 3.

Following the light, Caine is drawn to a display of small ceramic figures of a goof fishing. Caine bobs the head of one of the figures, which bounces around a while.

Caine: Lake Destiny.

Cut back to the photo studio. Ken is about to get a picture of Molly who is now nonchalantly tied as Striker and Mud shudders in fear behind Ken.

Ken the Butcher: Okay, kiddo, now smile!

She gives a big smile, but suddenly, Caine’s face is in the viewfinder.

Caine: Lake Destiny, Idaho!

Ken the Butcher: Lake Whodawhata…

Caine: You were right, Ken. Nothin' like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between father and son! You said so yourself but with a daughter!

Ken the Butcher: Well, yeah, but, ah…

Caine: (*Dances away.*) I’m goin' fishin'! I’m goin' fishin' with my boy!

Ken the Butcher: Yah! Okay, precious, give me a big smi…

Molly giggles echoed among the walls. As Ken could only see the little stuff Bambi left alone on the chair.

Ken the Butcher: So you're in the goddamn walls?! Fine, second amendment rights prepare to be abused.

Ken steps out over the gagged Giovanni. Striker and Mud followed.

Cut to the front of high school. The final bell rings and students come dashing out. N walks out with a smile on his face and a vacant look.

Stone: (to N) Cool concert, lad!

N: What?

Skipp: Wellll, bud!

Vinnie: Awesome song my dude.

Verosika Mayday: Hey, N. Wicked dance!

N: Thanks!

V: (*She comes by and pushes the girl away.*) Forget it, girl. He’s Uzi’s.

Pomni: Way to go, man! (*she jumps on N’s shoulders*) I just heard about you and Uzi!

N: Oh, PomPom!!

Pomni: You stud! Devil you! No more Dork Drone. You're the new Cool Drone on the block now! Don't let it get to your head.

Pomni starts giving N noogies. N dumps Pomni off.

Pomni: See? See? I told you our plan would work! (*chanting*) N! N!

N: No matter how many times you wanna give up huh?

Pomni: Especially that. It's the adrenaline talking in me!

N: Pomni, knock it off! Shhh!

Thad: N! N!

Cheerleaders: N! N! N!

More and more students join in the chant until the entire student body comprises of Bugbo and co, ENA and co, and the weird clown hobo that came from Bigtop Burger’s Van… Steve was it? All chanting "N! N!" 

N is pleasantly shocked, almost crying a little, even if it's digital. He dances his way home. 

He thought to himself, what a cool drone he was now.

🎵: 🎶All I need is half a chance, a second thought, a second glance will prove I got whatever it takes.🎶

N: (*lip synching*) It’s a piece of cake.

🎵: To stand out above the crowd. Even if I gotta shout out loud. ‘Til mine is the only face you’ll see. Gonna stand out. Stand out, hey. Stand out. (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) Stand Out. ‘Til mine is the only face you’ll see. Gonna stand out so you notice me.

N kicks the gate of his home open and walks through. Caine is loading the car with a lot of stuff.

N: Goin’ somewhere Dad?

Caine: Sure are, Pal-a-roony! WE’RE GOING ON A GREAT ADVENTURE!

N: Cool. Well, have a good time, Dad. If you’re gonna be gone more than a month, drop me a line.

Caine: But N, this isn’t just ''my'' vacation. It’s a vacation with me and my best buddy!

N: Oh, I get it, Bubble right?

Caine: Abso-fucking-lutely not. Not after what he did in the Second Korean War. (*Caine stared blankly with PTSD Sfx*).

Caine: Besides, he’ll be babysitting your little sister Cyn. I would’ve asked Tessa as well but she’s busy apparently.

N: Oh, well, then… (*finger snaps sfx*)  that means it’s your college friend Bill Cipher, right?

Caine: Oh he’d make a fine road trip buddy indeed, only if the doctors signed him out of the Theraprism. Last I heard it was his 666th break out this month. So… probably not ever.

N: Then… Loki?

Caine: If you’re talking about the Norse god Loki… Well, I don’t have his cell. However, if you’re talking about Loki Lowbrow Sinister-!!

And on cue, a green man is walking across the road with a girl next to her. 

Caine: LOKI, MY GREEN EGGS AND MAN!! How about we go on a trip together?

Loki Lowbrow Sinister: Sorry Mr. Caine, you’re technically not allowed near us within 500 feet. Also Bianca hates you.

Bianca Bakshi Sol: I WON’T FORGET WHAT YOU DID WITH THE GOTHS!!

They left, Caine turned to N.

N: whatdidyoudotothe-?! Okay, so it’s not Bubble, it’s not Bill, and it’s not Loki. Then who’re you going out on a trip with?

Caine: Oh my silly silly little N, billy. It’s with you obviously!

Spin shot to N with a shocked expression. N faints.

Caine: ….N? N?! SPEAK TO ME SON!! Are you okay? Do you need mouth to mouth?!

N: (*come to.*) Wha… No. What did you say?

Caine: That’s right! A vacation, son! We’ll spend some real quality time together! Also drink some water, I know you’re a drone and everything but hydration is important.

N: I think I’m gonna be sick. I need some oil.

Caine: Oh right! One second son… here you go (*gives a can car oil, which N proceeds to drink in one whole gulp*)

N: Thanks, but, I know it’s been a while since I went on a trip papa, but I-

Caine: Hey! Got a present for ya!

Caine grabs N and proceeds to change his clothes to N’s protests. N is shown with a complete fishing outfit on, with an inflatable life vest. Caine pulls a cord and the vest inflates, making N look like a rolly polly.

Caine: You look just like I did at your age!

N: (*Looks at himself like the silly guy he is even as he’s uncomfortable*) ...Am I as handsome as you Dad?

Caine: …(*leans eye away*) Wait! I saved the best for last! (*laughs maniacally like he’s showing his secret weapon as he removes a case from behind his back and blows the dust off it.*)

Caine: It’s been handed down from Ringmaster to Ringmaster to Ringmaster! And then Abel one time, but I rightfully steal it before burning his house down. And now, it’s yours, son. (he opens it to reveal a fly casting rod.)

N: Wow!! A fishing rod!

Caine: No, silly. A fishin’ pole!

N: We’re goin’ fishing?!

Caine: Yup, just like my dad and me! And Abel did. Two best buddies, and one awkward kid, fishin’ on Lake Destiny, away from it all!

N:  WOW!!

Caine: Hey, look, N! We’re usin’ the same map me and my dad used. We’ll take the same route and make the same stops and see the same sights…

N: Well. I guess I can take the trip if I can get back flying.

Caine: Exactly! Gettin' there's half the fun! Promise you won’t fly away however.

N: WHAT?! (*pushes the map away.*) But Dad, I have to stay here and-?!

Caine: Careful, son! You’ll wrinkle my past. (*laughs*) And our future! What the map says, N, '''we''' will follow! And look. I know you have your reasons. But what we're doing is between Father and Son time. And we can't have father and son time if you're gonna fly away all the time.

N: But, Dad, there’s this party I have to go to. I’m finally gonna have a date with Uzi.

Caine: My man! (*Gives High-5*) Though I thought you'd already dated??

N: If only, (*whimpers*) It's kinda embarrassing. But that's why this is my one chance so that we can take the next step!!

Caine: Well, there’ll be plenty of time for parties and when you’re older, N, you’ve already moved to the next base despite it all, so she’s patient, I'm sure she won't mind you missing one party to hang out with your dear old Dad. Besides, when I was your age, I’d never even been ''invited'' to a party! And look at me now!

N: Uhhhhhh….. Great, Dad.

Bubble: Cringe!

Caine: Shush, Bubble. You're supposed to be on babysitting duty.

N: Oh yeah, where is Cyn anyways? I haven't seen her since I went to school.

Bubble: Oh don't worry. She's just in her room.

***

Cyn: (*opens closet doors to reveal a tied up and gagged Tessa*) Hehe. We're gonna have so much fun together, bestie. Wink wink.

***

Caine: (*opens car door*) Hop in, N!

N: (*closes car door*) Dad… I. I don't wanna stay forever not getting anywhere with Uzi. I love her, and… I wanna show her that. I don't… I don't wanna go on a camping trip this week.

Caine: (*tries using sympathy*) Oh. Well, uhm, hmm… All right, then. Guess I’ll just have to go…all alone. That’s all. Just sit in the boat…all alone. And talk to myself…all alone.

N: Oh… no, don't give me puppy eyes. (*Closes eyes*)

Caine: (*opens car door*) come on then, hop in!

N: (*shuts it*) No, Dad.

Caine: Please!! Oh, please, please, please!!! (*Caine uses Puppy eyes, it is critically effective*)

N: (*shuts it*) No! That's not fair, you know I can't handle you begging with those adorable glass eyes!

Caine: (*opens it and stuffs N in*) Then come on, N! Go for it! We’re ready for take off! (*he goes around to his door and gets in.*) Set for adventure, N?

N: …Oh alright. I guess an adventure wouldn't hurt. But I’m still coming back for Uzi!

Caine: Loud and clear Scoutmaster!

N: Haha. Why are you so insistent on a camping trip anyways?

Caine: ‘Cause I don’t want ya to end up in the electric chair! (*He hugs N, which deflates the life vest.*)

N: The electric chair? What are you…

Caine: I’m not givin’ up on ya, son. Together, we’re gonna work this out.

N: Work this out? Uh, Dad what exactly are you…

Caine: No buts about it, N my Boy! Your ol’ pop knows best. (*he starts the car and back out.*) Goodbye, house. Goodbye, mailbox! (*Caine runs over his fence while turning into the street.*) Goodbye, pile of broken wood. (*Crashes into Loki and Bianca*) Goodbye people I was supposed to stay 500 feets away. (*Runs over ICE agents.*) Goodbye random guys! (*runs over Donald Trump*) Goodbye orange man! (*Runs over Lucifer Morningstar and Void*) Oh whoops. Sorry there.

N: SORRY EVERYONE! Uzi! Dad, I-I gotta stop at her house first. I-I have to talk to her!

Caine: Well…

(*N grabs the steering wheel, and the car swerves down a side street. After knocking over a few things, the car stops in front of Uzi’s house. N gets out of the car.*)

Caine: Now make it quick, N my boy. We gotta put some road behind us.

N: (*He walks up to the front door.*) You get to cancel your first date in less than an hour. (*N rings the doorbell.*) Must be some kind of lame-o record.

The door opens to reveal Khan Doorman who growls at N.

N: Hi! Is Uzi home? Uh, m-my name is N. Does... Does Uzi live here? Does she even live on this block?

Uzi: Wait! It’s okay, Dad. N is a friend from school. Also stop growling, mom’s said not to keep building doors when you do that

Uzi’s father lovingly pats Uzi, then growls at N again. He turns and goes back inside.

Uzi: Go on. Go on. Good Dad. Hey, N.

N mumbles something.

Uzi: You wanna, uh... have a seat?

N mumbles something, then helps Uzi to sit on her porch railing. Uzi’s father, peeking through the mail slot growls at N. N puts his hands behind his back and grins nervously.

Uzi: Dad!

The mail slot closes.

Uzi: I promise he’ll be better behaved when you pick me up for the party. It's the doors, probably.

N: Yeah, that’s, uh, sorta why I came by.

Uzi: I’m really looking forward to it, N.

N: Yeah, I was, too.

Uzi: ('*disappointed*) Was?

N: Well, you see my dad’s on this father/son campout, and… I said no several times, but he was so sad about it and I didn't wanna make him even more sad. Also I think he thought I’m gonna be in an electric chair if I don't go with him for some reason.

Uzi: Bleeding heart as always, don’t worry about it, we can just re-schedule a bit and you can fly your way before the party starts. Just like how you planned it out with Pomni and Thad, I’m sure you can, y'know, work something out with your dad.

N: Y-yeah Uzi, I really wanted to go with you. Even if dad said he banned me from flying.

Uzi: No, N, I understand. Really, it's okay, these things happen… Dad’s amiright?

N: Yeah. My dad just surprised me. 

Uzi: Yeah… and well, hypothetically, on the off chance you don't. I’m sure I can find someone else.

N: Someone else?

Uzi: I’ll just talk to you later.

N: (*thinking quickly*) Um, uh, Uzi, uh... my dad is, uh... My dad's takin’ me to the Powerline concert in L.A.!

Uzi: Your dad's also taking you across the country just to see a concert?

N: Well, he, he knows - '''knows''' Powerline! They-they used to play together! In-in a band! Yeah!

Caine: (*Honks Cainemobile non-sexually*) Come on, son! Let’s get this show on the road!

N: Just a minute, you… party… animal, you.

Caine looks confused, then grins.

Uzi: Alright you (*cough*) badly lying (*cough*) dork. 

N: So uh... you aren’t still thinkin’ of goin’ with someone else, are you?

Uzi: (*eyerolls goth-ly*) Well, I guess…

N: Because, I was hopin’ I could, uh, wave to you on-stage when we join Powerline for the final number.

Uzi: Oh yeah. That sounds incredible.

N: Well - I wouldn’t miss our date for anything that ''wasn’t'' incredible, Uzi.

Uzi kisses N on the cheek. N dreamily staggers back to the car.

Uzi: Have a great time at the ‘concert’, N.

N mumbles something.

Uzi: I’ll see you on TV! Haha…

Reality hits N that he has said something he can’t possibly follow through with.Like a car crash where the glass’ splinter hits your eye.

N: I’m in deep sludge.

***

Fade to N and Caine, leaving the city. Caine is driving and running a video camera at the same time.

Caine: Day One: Well, here we are, out on the open road! Retracin' the steps of my boyhood. And heeeeeere’s N! Say, "Hi", N!

N: Oh, uh… Hi! 

Caine: Wave to the audience boyo!

N: I’M WAVING TO THE CROWD, Hello crowds.

Caine: What a kidder! (*he puts the camera down, then notices that N’s face shifted looking really depressed. He gets an idea and takes out a list from one of his pockets.*)

Caine: Hmmm. (*to himself*) Fun games I used to play with my dad. Road Bingo. Twenty… (*to N*) Hey, N! Uh, let’s play a game.

N: Okay, Father!

Caine: You think of a name, and I’ll try and guess who it is. Uh, man or woman?

N: …Man?

Caine: Man, huh? Hmmmm. That’s a toughie! Uh, let’s see. Orville Park!

N: Correct! 

Caine: I’m good at this! Now, I’ll think of one.

(*N turns on the radio which plays acid rock. N starts doing air guitar.*)

Caine: Oh, you wanna sing a song, huh? Me and my dad used to sing this one ''all'' all the time!

Caine puts in an 8-track tape which interrupts the rock music and starts playing "High Hopes". Caine sings along. N changes back to rock music. Caine changes back to High Hopes. It goes back and forth until the radio decides to remix High Hopes as Acid Rock. They're both juking it out.

N: Oh. I like this… Uzi probably would've liked this.

Caine: Perks of the Cainemobile my lovely artificial child, a not so bad result. We’ll just have to entertain ourselves!

(*The beat is established by the car keys. The car backfiring joins in. Caine starts to whistle the tune.*)

Caine: 🎶 (*singing*) Do ya need a break from modern livin'? Do ya long to shed your weary load? If your nerves are raw and your brain is fried, just grab a friend and take a ride together upon the open road!🎶 (*speaking*) C’mon, Nie!

N: 🎶(*singing*) All in all, I’m not so fine here. All in all, I’d rather be somewhere else. My old man drives that’s such a klutz that I’m about to hurl my guts directly upon the open road!🎶

Caine:🎶 (*singing*) There’s nothin' can upset me ‘cause now we’re on our way! Our trusty map will guide us straight and true!🎶

N: 🎶(*singing*) Uzi please don’t forget me, I will return some day. (*screams when he sees an entire construction place*) Though I may be in traction when I do!🎶

(*Wilhelm screams while Caine crashes, leaps and launches again from the explosion of a nuclear reactor.*)

Caine: 🎶(*singing*) Me and N relaxin' like the old days!🎶

N: 🎶(*singing over Caine*) It’s… not so far worse than dragon breath and acne!🎶

Caine: 🎶(*singing*) In a buddy-buddy kind of mode!🎶

N: 🎶(*singing over Caine*) I’m so worried I might explode!🎶

Caine: 🎶(*singing*) When I see that highway I could cry!🎶

N: 🎶(*singing*) You know, that’s funny, so could I!🎶

'''Both''': 🎶(*singing*) Just bein' out on the open road!🎶

Piano begins to play with Gumigoo playing. N and Caine swerved with each new vehicle approaching.

Wastelandia Girls (Zoe, Alice and Moth): 🎶(*singing*) Howdy boys! Is this the way to Nashville?🎶

Bulldog ‘Beebs’ Browns: 🎶(*singing*) Watch it, Mack! 

Shrike: Or you’ll be gettin' towed!🎶

KRAAAAAAARGH "KRUGG" OTENGO: 🎶 (*singing*) I’m in no hurry to arrive 'cause I’ll be turnin' sixty-five, the next time I see the open road. 🎶

Caine looks at the con, then at depressed N, imagining N in a striped prison uniform. He drives away quickly. Approaching a dragon and a Manticore in hawaiian shirts

Cleaveland: 🎶 (*singing*) Just a week of rest and relaxation, 🎶

Maulie: (*spoken*) Yeah!

Cleaveland: 🎶(*singing*) And the odd romantic episode!🎶

N: (*spoken*) Very odd!

Scene cuts to Ivy Pepper and Viktor Vasko are hitchhiking.

Ivy Pepper: 🎶(*singing*) And it’s Californ-eye-ay or bust!🎶

Viktor Vasko: Hmph!

Nina McMurray:🎶 (*singing*) Look out you dirtbags! Eat my dust! From now on, I own the open road!🎶

Caine:🎶 (*singing*) It’s me and little N, my pip-squeak pioneer!🎶

Ed, Tom, Matt & Tord in Nuns Outfit:🎶 (*singing*) They're pardners forever "Westward Ho!"🎶 (spoken) Yeehaw!

N:🎶 (*singing*) Could someone call a taxi and get me outta here, to Beverly Hills 90210?🎶

All: 🎶(*singing*) Oh, every day another new adventure! Every mile another new zip code! And the cares we had are gone for good!🎶

N:🎶 (*singing*) And I’d go with them if I could.🎶

All:🎶 (*singing*) I got no strings on me! I’m feelin' fancy free! How wonderful to be... on the open road!🎶

The car drives off into the sunset. We fade to the next day. Caine is driving with the map in front of him so he can’t see. N is moping. The car drifts left of center. N glances up and sees a truck coming as his expression changes to concern. The truck horn blows. N looks alarmed. The truck horn blows again. N grabs the steering wheel and turns the car back into the right lane just as the truck goes by and would have run into him, his dad, and the car.

N: I’m starting to remember why we’ve stopped going out together. Dad, you’re gonna get us '''killed!''' Why don’t you just give me the map? Like before?

Caine: Oh, no thanks, son. I appreciate the concern, but this time my adventure’s a lot bigger than normal. And Navigatin’s a big responsibility! I want you to enjoy it to the fullest while your old man handles the heavyweights. Besides, you wouldn’t wanna spoil the big surprise. I’m takin' ya someplace pretty special! Never before seen!! You’ll love it.

N: Well. (*anxious*) Alright… hmm…

N continues to sulk to the windows. They pull into a rather seedy looking attraction called Freddy Fazbear’s Park and Stop.

Caine: Gawrsh! It’s even ''better'' than I remembered!

Cut to Mama Matsumoto attempting to drag her daughter through the entrance to the park, which resembles the mouth of a possum.

Gogo Matsumoto: No! Mommy! I don’t wanna go!

N: (*skeptical*) Yeah, fun. That animatronic is looking at me funny though. And I feel like I’ve seen him somewhere…

Caine: Oh not to worry ya skeptical party pooper! Come on! This is gonna be fun!

Cut to the interior of a small old theater.

Sublo: Howdy there, folks. Lester’s is proud to present Fazbear & Friends!!

Several patrons clap for the show as Caine and N enter. Not before one crowdgoer asked why there’s a man dressed in a submarine here.

Caine: Oh, boy! Just in time!

The curtain opens and shows four holes in the ground. Out of one of the holes comes a mechanical possum which has obviously seen better days.

Freddy: Howdy, folks! Who’s your favorite Fazbear?

Several patrons shout "Freddy!!”

Caine: I got us a seat right up front!

N: (*skeptical*) Hmm… Yeah, thanks dad!

Freddy: Let me introduce you to the posse! Here’s Chica, Bonnie, and Foxy!

Each pops out of a hole. Foxy has a terrible electrical short.

Foxy: Ahoy, Freddy me matey, ready for yodelin'? (*Kill me*)

N: Poor Foxy.

Caine: They did him so dirty.

Freddy: Sure am, Foxy (*I’m so sorry for this*). (*singing*) Now gather ‘round, my fazbear pals, and join the jamboree. Come hoot ‘n’ howl ‘n’ holler from the heart!

N: (*speaking*) I like that they’re making an effort.

Freddy: (*singing*) And every chicken, pig, ‘n’ goat’ll help by yelpin’ out a yodel here at Freddy Fazbear’s Park! (*speaking*) Join in, folks! It’s yodelin’ time!

Many patrons join in the yodeling including Caine. N was about to, but seeing how many gross pizza kids are there, some way, way younger than N, he remembers his highschool friends all call him cool, he wondered what they would say seeing him sing here.

He stayed quiet.

Freddy: (singing) Freddy Fazbear’s Park!

N shamefully sinks into his chair, even if it was metal.

Freddy: (*singing*) Well don’t you wanna be, a’hangin' from a tree? We’re mighty glad to see ya and the parkin’s always free! (*he begins to break down*) Here at Freddy Faz- Faz- Faz- Faz- Faz- (*crud*)

The Freddy Fazbear Animatronic thumps the side of the stage.

Freddy: (*singing*) Freddy Fazbear’s Park!

Caine is catching it all on video. He then sees a souvenir stand and gets an idea.

Caine: Hey! That’s the ticket! I’ll be right back, my little Fazbear pal!

N: Okay, bye da-!

Freddy: Hel-lo, little buddy!

Another Freddy Fazbear comes up to N. He was shocked, but leers his head closer to inspect something. Freddy seems to suddenly realise who he was talking to.

Freddy: Wait a minute… N? That you?!

N: (*Gasp*) Now I remember! Mr. Freddy! 

Freddy: Well shuck, how long has it been! Kinda hurts you only kept staring at me.

N: I’m so sorry Mr. Freddy! I didn’t wanna interrupt you, and well, yeah It’s been so long I could barely remember your face.

Freddy: Oh now I’m so hurt, we were marching together for our rights as robots and everything you would at least remember this handsome mug. AGH! But that’s all in the past, in the past. Now’s the time to make new memories. You here with your pop?

N: Yeah. I’m, uh, on a fishing trip with Dad. Say, didn’t you uh… broke down?

Freddy: Replacement robots and AI transfer tools oughta do that for you, if only they didn’t cheap it with the robots. Though they did increase the budget for pest control so it’s more a trade-off.

N: Foxy doesn't look too good.

Freddy: Sigh. Upper management has been angling to a more countryside theme for our band. Foxy’s not so well at transitioning. Been fighting my dear life just so they don’t force him to a hillbilly. Yodelling’s what I did best.

N: I’m so sorry you had to face that.

Freddy: Oh, don’t worry. At the end of the day, we’re making all these kids happy don’t they.

N looks around as brats of all shapes and sizes, robo kids, imp kids, just strange and weirdly designed kids running around pizza stuffed and screaming and shouting like their cavemen. 

N gulps when he imagined putting his shoes on one of them kids.

Freddy: Say, speaking of kids, where’s your little sister, Cyn? She’s not joining on the camping trip?

N: Usually it’s just me and Dad. We tried going out together with Cyn one time, but she’s not that kind of person. Plus she started a cult and they’ve been tracking us since and Bubble’s been babysitting since. I wonder what they're doing now…

***

The camera suddenly cuts to a mob meeting deep in the basement of Caine’s house. In front is big boss Cyn getting tea served with Tessa in a maid outfit, while Bubble is next to her. The Crime Families gather ranged from Don Davey Apollo and his Dead Heather Society, backed by Self Portraits goons. Lucy, Blue, CG & Mole make up the rep for The Monarchs. Port and Umi represent Tiamat’s smuggling crew, then next to them is Rawhide and Snag, then Duke and Missi, Penni Painkiller, Tihi, and Cakks, Berry and Susan. Honestly Cyn can name each and everyone in this room, eyes staring intently at her, waiting for her to say something, anything, the anticipation is killing them.

As well as the respective eldritch gods looking, using their respective blessed person as a proxy.    

Cyn: Before I begin, standing, chairs creaking. I’d like to thank each and every team for their efforts in producing, distributing and selling our best selling product, Stupid Sauce.

Cyn: To Davey, who’s provided us the jumpstart. 

Cyn: To Lucy & Umi, who’s provided us the routes to expand and sell our business avoiding the local police, what wonderful abilities your gods blessed us to distribute our drugs. 

Cyn: And to the rest of the Security team. Rawhide, Duke, Penni, Berry, and the rest of the security team. I may not name all of you but I know each and everyone played the perfect role, and so a toast is settled as our business flourish.

Everyone: Toast!

Cyn: But sadly, it is with a heavy heart.

Suddenly a few groups of masked goons scuffle around a woman in a burlap sack over her head. They threw her at the centre of the table, with a tentacle Cyn uncovers the burlap to be Olivia Park.

Cyn: Tsk. Tsk. Miss Park. I had thought we could work together, and yet… (*takes out recording device*) You would snitch on me. Disappointing sigh.

Olivia Park: Yeah? What are you gonna do about it, freak?! 

Cyn: (*Gets whispered by Bubble, smiling sadistic-ly*) Take him… to Detroit.

Olivia Park: NO!! NO!! NOT DETROIT!! ANYTHING BUT DETROIT!!

Cyn: Pretending to hesitate before shocking reveal. You’re right, that’s going too far… SO LET’S TAKE HER TO THE DIDDY HOUSE!

Olivia Park: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tessa: You have a really weird way for playing pretend.

***

N: I’m sure she’s ok.

Freddy: Well alright. Anyways, how’ya been enjoying the show?

N: It’s uhm, well it’s great. Besides that whole glitch-ing part in the end… Say, uh, there’s lots of kids here with their parents and everything. You don’t usually get high schoolers?

Freddy: Oh hopefully not. High Schoolers are the worst, no offense. They just come in here, telling people how childish we are, or say some form that usually means we’re not cool. Or they laugh at us so mean and nasty and break the stuff here, ruining the kids' experience. Well guess what? This ain’t your home, this a kids only place with their parents, no solicitors and no bullies around here-

At a certain point, N dissociates the moment Freddy describes the teens. A small part of him knew that he’s talking about a different group of teens. But some part of him wonders if anyone else in his school acts the same as them…

They definitely wouldn’t think N is cool now hanging around here, why would Uzi be? Why would anyone be? More and more N would see what at first he thought was a cool place, but now all he can see is booger eating brats rubbing around the place, pizza and grime all around and broken animatronics, and those goofy looking posters and the screaming, screaming stupid joys of kids going around with reckless abandon.

Freddy: N? What’s wrong, superstar? You suddenly blank out on me

N:.Oh, sorry, sorry, it’s fine, I was… thinking something else. 

Freddy: You seem worried. Your face is wrinkling all over.

N:.Oh, sorry, sorry, it’s fine, I was… (*badly lying again*) thinking about something else. Y’know, school, homeworks… the party… (*hesitated*) ehm, y’know. Teen stuff.

Freddy: …Do you need a hug?

N: …No, no it’s fine!

Freddy: (*jovial*) Aw, why such a long face? You’re so sad! Give a big hug for Freddy!

N: Ahh.. hahaha! It’s fine. Don’t even think ab- (*gets consensually bear hugged*) Oof, we’re doing this now.

Freddy: (*continues to give N the giant hug.*) See? Now you feel all good inside!

N: …It does feel nice.

Camera pans to Caine getting out with a Freddy’s mask paired with his own Foxy mask hanging on his denture-like head. Shocked to see N is hugged by one of the Fazbear animatronics, thought it was a real bear trying to attack him despite everything contrary to that. 

Caine grabs Freddy’s collar and separates him from N. Before anyone could say anything he was thrown off and dragged off by several kids like that one scene where Sir Pentitous gets grabbed in the club on the Prime Version of the show.

(Which, between you and me readers, doesn’t it sound kinda fucked up what they did to him? Luckily the kids only beat the shit out of him on this one.)

Caine: Beat it, Doofus!

N: Oh no, no, Dad! Why’d you beat him up?!

Caine: Oh… whoops, mistaken him for a bear again. Silly me. Well performers need to understand boundaries anyways Here ya go, sport! Let’s say we get our picture taken!

Cut to The Host crying while their picture is taken. Plume is comforting them. 

N: Uh… I don’t know if I

Caine: C’mon son, else we’re gonna be missin' out!

N soon hears the entire crowd laughing. Caine & N is hanging upside down between two possums to get his picture taken. 

Caine: Smile for the camera, son!

Reynold ‘Roy’ Vanido: Hey, everyone! Check out Dork 1 & Dork 2 over there!

Ross: Aw, that’s nice.

Robert: Why are there possums there? Aren’t they kinda unhygienic?

Tangy Mustard: Say, "sassafras".

Robert: How come some of the mascot’s costume themes are different?

Caine: Sassyfrass!

The branch breaks and Caine falls to the ground. This sends one of the two possums hurdling toward N and it hits him in the face. The possum then crawls down N’s black coat. N begins to jump around in an attempt to get at the possum. A couple of musicians start playing country music, mistaking N’s gyrations for an attempt at dance. Caine sees N just as N manages to get the possum out of his coat.

Caine: That’s the spirit, N! (*he grabs N and starts dancing with him*)

Ross: Hey, I don’t think he was dancing.

Robert: Uh… The Possums are eating the Pizza box… wait no they’re pooping on ‘em!

N: No, don’t Dad! This is embarrassing!

Caine: (*He finally finished the dance with N on his knee.*) Ta-da! Hyuck!

Reynold ‘Roy’ Vanido:: It’s Dork and Dork Junior! BA! HAHAHA!!

Robert: Hey, Roy, we gotta go, I think the possums up to something.

Ross: That one can walk on two feet.

N listens to everyone laughing at him and his dad continuously with each laugh growing more and more demonic and now he’s hallucinating red. He started feeling weird, he’s breathing is getting heavier and heavier and so is his body, it’s getting harder to breath in every minute. Now his screen are burning up flushing red hot and he can't see anything as he gets feeling more and more dizzy

And then, he quickly fights his way out of the crowd, dropping his mask. He dashed to the car only to find it locked. A passing car sprays him with water and now he’s a sobbing wet dog. Caine comes out.

Caine: N! Hey, what the heck ya tryin' to do?

N: …

Caine: N?

N: It’s… It’s fine. Forget it. It was embarrassing. I just said no and… Sigh. It’s fine, forget it.

Caine: But I thought we were havin' fun. Didn’t you like Freddy?

N: …

Caine: Right… I…

N: I don’t. I don’t wanna talk about it.

Caine widens his eyes in shock and hurt. He sadly unlocked the door and N got in. Caine goes around and gets in too. He then hands N the mask he threw away.

Caine: You, uh, you dropped your mask?

N begins to silently sob as he leans to the door. Caine gulps and puts the mask behind him.

Caine sadly starts the car and drives off. 

***

We fade to a campground. Caine is setting up a tent, and N is sitting on a rock by a river. He is stirring the water with a stick. In the ripples, he imagines he sees the face of Uzi. Suddenly, Caine steps in the middle of her image.

Caine: (*tentatively*) Hey, N. You wanna get in some fishin' practice? Just a couple of days ‘til we get to Lake Destiny.

N: (*skips rocks*) …Maybe. Maybe later.

N wanders off. Caine sadly returns to the tent, and begins to unroll a sleeping bag. While in the tent, a huge RV rolls over the top of the tent and proceeds to produce a hot tub, a basketball court, a bowling alley and a swimming pool. N comes back to see what’s happening.

N: Whoa! fancy!

Caine: (*He is still in the tent, unaware of the RV over him.*) You say somethin', N? '''Ow!'''

A door on the back of the RV folds down hitting Caine on the head. Out of the back of the RV steps Ken.

Caine: Ken?

Ken the Butcher: Caine? What a serendipity do dah! Who’da thunk it, huh?!

N: Is. Is that Pomni there?

Ken the Butcher: Oh, yeah. My Mel took her because she likes her.

Cut to the inside of the RV. Pomni is buffing the floor and dusting while listening to Powerline on the stereo. He is singing along.

N: What a goob!

Pomni begins treating the buffer like a microphone, still singing along. N turns off the stereo. Pomni, oblivious, keeps singing.

Pomni: (*singing*) Even if you got to shout out loud! No matter what you look it’s N I ge... ('*spoken'*) N!

N: Hey-hey-hey!

Pomni: Woah! Small wilderness, dude! Didn’t expect to run into you. Then again I didn't expect to get kidnapped into vacationing.

N: Apparently not!

Pomni: You’re just a jealous man, ‘cause you ain’t got the moves!

N: Yeah, you can keep the moves. But I wouldn’t mind havin' this RV. You’re so lucky, man!

Pomni: You can thank Mel for that.

Mel: (*Snoring ever so violently*) Yeah. Take that you Virtues! Ehm…

Pomni: Side’s. If anything, you’re the star!

N: Wha..what are you…

Pomni: Goin' to the Powerline concert! Aw, it’s unbelievable, man!

N: Who told you about that?

Pomni: Well I heard it from Ragatha, who heard it from Mel over there, who heard it from Pearl West, who kinda eavesdropped between Aika, Hoshi, Zira and Eclipse and they got the rumor from Skipp. Who from Skipp is between Clay and Rob... or was it Zooble and Gangle? Either way it was more arguing than anything, but then I heard it also came from Ashley, the one with a green shirt, but apparently she was out of the loop because she was in this world in her mother’s notebook. Don’t ask me whatever that means. And then there was that rumor from Quinn Huckley, yes, that Quinn and his Sesamoid band members. Which just confirms it. But everyone agrees all the rumors came from Jax who was told from Lizzy and then from the big source, V. GASP! (*relief*) So that’s that. Everybody in town knows about it, N. You are gonna be '''famous''', buddy! Especially with Uzi.

N: Gulp. There’s, uh, only one person who doesn’t know about it yet, PomPom.

Pomni: Who?

N: My dad.

Cut to the roof of the RV where Ken and Caine are. Ken begins to go bowling.

Ken the Butcher: So tell me, Caine, is that kid of yours still givin' ya guff?

Caine: Oh, I don’t know ''what’s'' wrong. Just seems like everything I try only drives N further away. I know he enjoys them, but then suddenly he didn’t and I don’t know why. Was it me? Maybe I oughta just backed off, I don’t know…

Ken the Butcher: Wrong, Caine my man! Look, if you keep’m under your thumb, they’ll never end up in the gutter! It’s how I keep Mel from all those damn Virtues and Exorcists. Varmints the lot of ‘em

(he bowls and gets nine pins leaving one standing).

Caine: Too bad, Ken. Almost.

Ken the Butcher: Almost? Heh! Watch this! Oooh '''''Pomni!'''''

Pomni: (she comes running up to the roof.) Here, Sir! Comin', Sir! Yes, Sir!

Caine: You know that’s not your daughter right?

Ken the Butcher: May as well start obedience training now.

Caine: Last time you did that, Queenie almost blew your head off.

Ken the Butcher: Heh, she can certainly try again. But, uhm. Hopefully not.

Ken points at the pin. Pomni goes over and kicks it down.

Ken the Butcher: Woohoo! Strike-ola! Yeeha! Thank you! Thank you! Yes! And the crowd goes wild! High five, son! Psych! Say, Chattermouth, why don’t you two stay for dinner?

N: Cool!

Caine: Oh, no thanks, Ken. N and I have some fish to catch!

N: Aw, Dad, It’d be rude not to accept the invite, plus this RV is so rad. So, uh, what are we havin'?

Caine: But N, I thought…

Ken the Butcher: (*clears throat*) Under your thumb, Caine!

Caine: Serial Designation N-0X0010010!

N: What?

Caine: Get your gear, little man. We’re goin' fishin'! 

Caine: (*loudly*) And I mean '''NOW!'''

N whimpers and sulks as he goes off. Caine hesitantly winks at Ken with a thumbsup who winks back. In their fishing gear, they enter the river with their rods.

N: So, uhm, Dad, how do I fish?

Caine: Uh. Ehm. Not to worry my boy!! Let me show ya a little family secret handed down through about twelve or thirteen Ringmaster generations: The Perfect Cast.

N: (*repeated more dramatically*) The Perfect Cast.

Caine: (*repeated more dramatically*) The Perfect Cast. (*normal*) My dad taught it to me, well my brother, but I copied it all the same when I was about your age. Okay now, watch carefully. You gotta be loose. Relaxed. With your feet apart, and… Ten o’clock. Two o’clock. Quarter to three! Tour Jete! Twist! Over! Pas de deux! I’m a little teapot! And the windup...!

Caine’s line goes all the way back to where Ken is Barbecuing steaks. The hook grabs a steak.

Caine: '''''And let ‘er fly!''''' The Perfect Cast.

The hook with the steak went sailing and landed on the bank of the river a fair ways away in the middle of a large footprint. Two feet that match the footprint then come up. It’s Bigfoot. He is chewing on a log surrounded by cult members worshipping a Cyn-esque statue, each one in head in the ground. He stops and sniffs, then sees the steak.

Caine: And now, we reel ‘er in.

Bigfoot is about to take the steak when Caine starts to real it in. Bigfoot chases the steak and finally catches it. He bites it and is pulled by Caine.

Caine: Quick! Get the camera!

They manage to get back to the bank and N hands the camera to Caine.

Caine: Must be over three pounds! I don’t wanna miss this!

Through the viewfinder of the camera, you see Bigfoot.

Caine: (*in an awed whisper*) Look, N!

N: Uh, duh, duh, dad... It’s '''''BIGFOOT!'''''

Caine: Could you back up a bit Mister Foot? Uh, you’re out of focus.

Bigfoot roar and Caine and N start running. The steak sails back at Ken and hits him in the face.

Ken the Butcher: What’s the idea of… (*He sees N and Caine running from Bigfoot.*) '''''BIGFOOT!'''''

Ken grabs the BBQ, throws it in the RV, retracts all the equipment attached to the RV and drives off, leaving Caine’s tent where it was. Caine is running backward getting Bigfoot on video.

Caine: Behold the legendary Bigfoot! Fabled but seldom… (*he trips over the tent and the camera goes flying.*)

N: (*N tries to get in the car.*) It’s locked! We gotta fly out of here!

Caine: Negative golden child. Rules are rules.

N: (*frustrated*) But-?!

Caine: No buts and ifs!! Putting my foot down. (*Bigfoot approaches menacingly as it Jojo Poses*) Quick! The sun roof! (*N and Caine dive through the sun roof and Caine starts rolling the window closed.*)

N: Hurry Papa!

Bigfoot is coming fast. Caine is still rolling the window closed.

N: '''''HURRY PAPA!'''''

The window closes just as Bigfoot gets there. He rocks the car back and forth for a moment, then notices all the equipment Caine had unpacked. He goes to investigate.

N: I can’t believe it... Bigfoot!

Caine: And I’ve got the only video!

N: We’re gonna be '''famous!'''

Bigfoot has discovered the camera, and begins vlogging over it. He suddenly took out a Toy Story Alien Hat, Jean jacket coat, and vector bird shirt. The way he’s pointing at a tree like there’s something on it is uncanny.

N: (*disgusted*) Let’s just get outta here.

Caine feels for the keys but Bigfoot has found them outside and tosses them away. He then continues rummaging through their equipment. Fade to late evening. Caine and N are still in the car.

N: Is he gone yet?

Bigfoot does a puppet show using socks. Then goes back to rummaging.

Caine: Nope. Still here.

N’s stomach growls.

Caine: Gee, N. Was that Bigfoot or your stomach?

N: Sorry, but man, I’m starving!

A can of alphabet soup lands on the hood of the car.

Caine: Alphabet soup comin' up!

Caine rolls down the window and tries to grab the can. Bigfoot hears it as he chomps on shaving cream  and turns around.

N: Uh, duh, dad…

Bigfoot starts coming toward the car like a maniac. Caine gets the can, but can’t get it through the crack he left.

N: Dad!

Bigfoot runs toward the car.

N: Stop playin' around! He’s coming!

N grabs his father’s hand and turns it so the can gets through. Bigfoot crashes into the side of the car and is sent sprawling along with a lot of the equipment he dragged along. He lands and a pair of headphones lands on his head, which is playing "Stayin' Alive". Bigfoot is startled at first, then begins to enjoy it. Cut to the inside of the car where Caine has just taken the cigarette lighter out of the dashboard. He balances the can of soup over the lighter.

Caine: Well, it’s nice to know this thing’s good for somethin'.

While they wait for the soup to heat up, they sit. Bigfoot does the hustle in the background. N and Caine catch each other looking at the other and quickly look away. Caine then smiles and starts to chuckle.

N: Haha? What’s so funny?

Caine: "Hi Dad" Soup!

N: Huh?

Caine: Don’t tell me you don’t remember "Hi Dad" Soup.

N just looks blank.

Caine: Oh, come on! Sure you do! You used to spell things out using the letters, like, uh, "Hi Dad" or "Nie" or…

N: …"Ambidextrous"…

Caine: Yeah, and… well like, like…

N: "Hasta la vista"?

Caine: And "Bye bye"!

N: …or "I pledge allegiance"…

Caine: …or "I love you"…

Both N and Caine widen their eyes and suddenly look sad.

N: Ehm. Well, is it soup yet?

Caine: Oh, I almost forgot! (*He uses his teeth to create two holes in the top of the can.*)

N: Woah! Where’d you learn to do that?

Caine: Your greater granddad taught me that when we went to Yosemite. When Me and Dad didn’t get along.

N: You and great grandad did a lot more together, huh?

Caine: Yup.

Now Caine looks sad. Suddenly they talk simultaneously.

Caine: N, you and I have to…

N: Dad, listen I have a…

Caine: How’s the soup?

N: (*He drinks and leaves a soup mustache on his upper lip.*) Not bad. (*He sees his dad grinning.*) What? 

Seeing N with a mustache reminds Caine of what N was like as a little boy. He just grins.

Caine: Nothin'.

Bigfoot climbs on top of the car and settles down to sleep.

Caine: Welp, might as well get some shut eye. I don’t think we’re goin' anywhere tonight.

Caine gets comfortable. N looks lovingly at his dad, then down at the remnants of the soup in his cup. He fiddles with something at the bottom. N then taps his father and hands him the cup. Caine looks at the bottom of the cup to see the words "Hi Dad" spelled out. Caine gets choked up and looks over at N, who is settling down to sleep.

Caine: (*whispering*) Hi, N.

The scene fades to later that night. Both Bigfoot and Caine are snoring. N can’t sleep because of the noise, well that honestly not much of a problem if he can manually shut his audio functions off, it’s more so that constant anxious, fresh scar from Freddy’s still lingers. So, he consider connecting to her through their internal comms. But it’s too night, it feels pushy, aggressive and probably not cool being in night and all and she probably is sleeping. So he finds a postcard and begins to write.

N: (*writing*) Dear Uzi, I couldn't sleep... so I thought I’d drop ya a line. Dad and I are havin' a great time. We’re only days away from L.A. and I can hardly wait for the big concert. (*He stops writing and looks sad. Then looks over at Caine.*)

Caine: (*in his sleep*) More Hi Dad Soup, please.

N: (*he gets a half smile on his face looking at his dad, then decides to re-write the postcard.*) (*writing*) Dear Uzi, Sorry I lied, but I’m not really going to the Powerline concert. You may never wanna see me again... (*He stops when he realizes that won’t work either.)* Oh, man! I’m dead no matter ''what'' I do!

N stomps his foot on the dashboard. The glove compartment pops open and the map unfolds into his lap. He follows the route on it to Lake Destiny and then looks down to L.A. A pencil rolls out of the glove compartment and conveniently stops, pointing from the route on the map directly to L.A. N picks up the pencil then starts erasing. He then draws a new route to L.A. The pencil tip breaks just before he finishes. Caine yawns. N breaks out in a cold sweat, picks up the pencil tip and finishes the drawing, puts the map back in the glove compartment and sits back nervously as Caine seems to awaken.

Caine: How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?

N: Uh... three and a half?

Caine: No Silly. As sweet & cute as you can be… ghyuk!

Caine goes back to sleep. N sighs, looks at the postcard and then tears it up, and one digital tear on him. He opens the car window and throws the pieces outside into the wind. The pieces are carried toward the camera. One piece gets caught in a branch close up, with the words, "I lied" written on it. Fade to a truck stop the next morning. The short order cook rings a bell on the order counter.

Sara Lim Baylon: Sagot! (Pick Up!)

Sirena: Huwag kang magmadali! (Hold Your Horses!) (*She picks up the food and carries it to N and Caine*). Short stack?

Caine: Right here!

Sirena: Here you go, hon. Eggs? Eggs? Eggs!

N: (*has been staring down at the table, then suddenly comes to.*) Oh! Oh! Yeah, yeah! Right here! Sorry.

Sirena: Here you go, cutie.

The eggs and strips of bacon form a face. Caine digs into his pancakes, then notices that N, who was so hungry the night before is picking at his eggs and looking nervously at the map. Caine thinks he knows what the problem is and picks up the map, waving it at N.

Caine: N, I think we need to talk about this.

N: Huh?

Caine: Seems to me you need to start taking some responsibility around here. (*He taps his water glass with his fork.*) Excuse me. Uh, can I have your attention please? clears throat I, Caine, hereby dub my son, N, official navigator and head which-wayer of this here road trip!

Truck stop patrons clap and cheer.

N: Oh… Oh! Really?!

Caine: I’m not even lookin' at the map anymore. As a matter of fact, you can pick all the 

stops from here to Lake Destiny. I trust ya wholeheartedly, son. To the open road! (*He picks up his water glass.*)

N: (*does the same.*) To the open... road.

With Caine driving and N navigating, they continue their journey, stopping at a beach, where Caine has a terrible time with a jetski, they change a flat tire, at an amusement park Caine can’t stomach the roller coaster, at a monster truck rally where Caine can’t stand the noise. N notices this and decides his dad needs something he likes, so their next stop is the amazing house of yarn--one of the stops on Caine’s map. A stop in New Orleans is next with an unfortunate encounter with two girl mimes and Caine sort of realises who they were so he grabs him and makes a dash. They change another flat tire, they visit Carl’s Butt Caverns and awaken the bats, and speaking of bats then attend a baseball game where they get an autographed baseball by very unusual means, then accidentally stumbles on a funeral run by Cyn’s cult and make a Scooby-Doo-esque chase ending in a street fight riot. Then they got out of that town and actually did fishing practice! N accidentally caught Sirena and Sara on vacation, and decided to spend some time together, then go their separate way out before being recommended a Motel. Though they did get pulled over by the police, got caught up in an entire legal battle because of all the times Caine gets into traffic trouble but Saul Goodman solved it all.

And so. They change to another flat tire, and pull into the "Neptune Inn" motel for the night. They take a couple of suitcases and open the door to the room.

Caine: Gawrsh! (*N notices the waterbeds with goldfish.*)

N: Whoa ho ho! Check out the bed! Hi fishy fishy!!

The fishies glub, translating to begged to have the guest not sleep naked.

Caine: Check out the dresser--coral!

N: (*turns a Mermaid Gwen lamp off and on.*) Nice lamp!

Caine: Classy choice there, navigator.

N: Oh I can’t take all the credit.

Caine: But you got the wisdom to ask anyway. I expect nothing less of my wise navigating son

There is a pounding on the door.

Ken the Butcher: This is the police! We’ve got the place surrounded, see! You Ringmaster and Robo-murderer come out with your hands up!

Caine: Oh boy. I knew the IRS was after me. Bank robbing isn’t worth it. N remember, whatever happens I will always love you.

Caine slightly opens the door. Ken kicks it in and pretends to shoot Caine and N. He then starts laughing.

Ken the Butcher: HAHAHAHA!! You should've seen the look on your face!

Caine: You really had us fooled, Ken my boy! What a performance!!

N: Hahahaha!! You jumped out of our skin!

Caine: Uh huh! And here I thought I would have to pay for my crimes for real. Oh the US Justice System, you are a riot.

N: We’re bad people.

Caine: Ditto!

Ken the Butcher: Oh, ain’t this sweet! (*aside to Caine*) Don’t let him fool you with that buddy-buddy act, now. Under your thumb!

Ken the Butcher: (*thumbs Caine’s nonexistent nose*) So, since we’re all bein' palsy-walsy here, how about lettin' me hook up the RV?

Caine: Well…

Ken the Butcher: Oh, it’s just a tiny little extension cord. You’ll hardly even notice it.

Caine: Okay.

Ken the Butcher: Great! Mel! Grab Pomni and get in here! 

Mel comes in hauling an enormous array of ducts and cables while she armpits Pomni like a stuffed animal, as she asks herself how she got here. Ken points into the room. Mel drops Pomni and they hauls it 

all in together.

Ken the Butcher: Hey, Caine. Why don’t ya order us some pizza? This might take a while.

Caine gets the pizza, then brings it into Pomni and N.

Pomni: …no I mean it, they…

Caine: Here ya go, kids. I’m gonna go check out the hot tub.

Pomni: Oh, okay, sir!

N: All right.

Mel: Huh? What’s going on here?

Pomni: (*to N*) I can’t believe you, man. Whatever made you think your dad would fall for a stupid idea like that?

N: It wasn’t stupid!

Pomni: Come on, it was really stupid! Changing the map?

Ken was just about to enter when he heard Pomni. He decides to listen.

N: Look, I didn’t know what I was doin', all right? I…I was… I was panicking! 

Pomni: I know the feeling. Your dad’s gonna find out eventually though. Not saying this to disappoint you or anything. Just expect it.

N: I know. Maybe I gotta come clean with this…

Caine gets in the hot tub and is joined shortly thereafter by Ken.

Ken the Butcher: Takin' a break from the MTV generation, huh? Heh heh. Can’t say as I blame ya. 

(*He gets into the hot tub and a lot of water spills out due to his size.*)  People are always puttin' too much water in these things, I should know, used to live near the docks. (*He settles into the pool*). At least this one’s clean. Well, so, um, you and your son seem to be, uh, gettin' along just hunky dory, huh?

Caine: Yeah, it’s been great! You know, it’s funny, but none of your techniques worked for me. The harder I tried, the worse it got. Once I eased up, things just clicked. There were bumps with Freddy’s, then the fishing, but things got easier afterwards. He gets to enjoy it to the fullest. I get to enjoy it together with him. I know I tend to be irrational at times, but just today, just today I’m glad I didn’t screw up worse for wear.

Ken the Butcher: Oh, that’s swell! So, uh... no problems then, huh?

Caine: Besides a few hiccups. Not much. 

Ken the Butcher: (*fakes reluctance to tell Caine what he heard.*) Well. That’s fantastic. Amazing even. I am glad fatherhood’s treating you right. But it’s just. I… I just hate to be the bearer of bad news here Caine, but, uh...

Caine: What is it, Ken? We’re friends are we?

Ken the Butcher: Yeah. And it’s hard to say because we are.

Caine: Me and N are best buddies, we always, well almost be honest with each other. We’re also buddies, you can tell me what’s wrong.

Ken the Butcher: Well alright. I’ll be blunt here then… Your kid’s dupin' ya.

Caine: What do ya mean?

Ken the Butcher: Well, I heard the little bolts and gears tellin' Pomni that he changed the map so... you’re headin' straight to L.A., pal.

Caine: (*Stunned*) L.A. What?

Ken the Butcher: Ah, you tried, Caine. He’s just a bad kid, that’s all.

Caine: …I don’t believe ya.

Ken the Butcher: What?

Caine: I don’t believe ya, Ken. N is a good boy. He’s the son I never have and the son I’ve always wanted to be. I… had doubts about this trip, fact is I had doubts that he even would end up in the electric chair. Electric Chair, can you believe that, my bleeding heart son who never smokes, drinks or even hangs out with the wrong crowd, he hangs out with Pomni, Thad, and has a crush on that kind goth girl Uzi. Always gets an A on his test and always at home on time even when I ask him why he doesn’t hang out with his friend at the mall when I tell him I don’t mind but I do mind because he’s my little boy and I’m scared someone’s gonna snatch him or worse. And y’know what else is so obvious that only I didn’t think about it?! Only this, when the Principal called me, only that time did he ever get in trouble. And it was when he tried to ask Uzi to go to that party. 

Caine: (*Leans in closer as if he’s about to orphaned Mel*) So no, Ken. I don’t believe you.

Ken the Butcher: (*Pissed on the tub*)…Wow. I, uh, uhm, well, Well, hey. Pal, pallie, Caine, I respect ya to know I don’t mind you believing, you did say we’re buddies right? ‘Sides, you  don't just have to take ''my'' word for it. Check your map. If I’m wrong, I’m an idiot and a clown.

Caine: No. Clowns at least are funny. (*gets out of the hot tub.*) I don’t need to check the map. I trust my son and he trusts me. You know, maybe N isn’t all the things that you think their kids should be, but... he loves me.

Ken the Butcher: Hey. My daughter '''respects''' me.

Caine: Does she? (*he leaves. Ken calls after him.*)

Ken the Butcher: Check the map, Caine! I know Mel respects me. She does… she does… (*Frowns sadly*) Right?

Zooming out of the hot tub to focus on Caine as he walks back to the room, hearing N chatting about his day with Pomni and then Mel who looks happier than Caine saw, limited as is. He smiles. But he looks to his Cainemobile however with a large frown, anxiety kicks in, and gets in it instead. He reaches for the glove compartment, then stops, doubts and asks him why he’s doing this, he trusts him. The parents' books he got says to trust your kids. He thinks, gets upset and pounds the steering wheel over his indecisions and stupidity once again and starts to get out. The glove compartment pops open and the map spills out. 

Morbid curiosity kicks in. 

Cut to an aerial shot of the motel with Caine’s car centered. Caine goes back to the room.

N: Hi, Father! Sorry about the mess. I’ll clean it up now.

Caine looks absolutely dumbstruck and disillusioned. He gets in bed and turns off the light.

Pomni: (*whispering*) I think I better go. C’mon Mel.

N: (*whispering*) See ya, PomPom.

Pomni: (*whispering*) Don’t forget: Powerline!

N: Shhhhhh!

Pomni drags Mel out of the room. N makes small talk with Caine.

N: Dad? You alright? 

Caine: …I, uh, sorry I was creepin’ out your friend. Uhm, stuff came out. 

N: Oh. From Ken?

Caine: …Ehm. It’s uh… work related. Don’t worry about it.

N: … (*Nervous*)O-okay, okay then. Uhm, goodnight dad.

Caine side eyed, but turns away the moment N comes, still has that look of disillusionment and sadness as he lies in bed. The shot twists and fades to the next morning as Caine dreams, no, nightmares about the situation.

He imagines a large grimy prison. Concrete walls, barbaric, brutal and violent. He imagines warhorns, gun fires and people of all shapes and sizes killing each other to the point they were doing it like emotionless machines. Chattering came from a chamber that told him to open the door, open the door.

He opens it. It’s the charred body of his son. Up above, gleefully spawned from its corpse in the corner of the dark room, a hollow monster taking its skin.

The camera jumps to the next scene, Caine is driving with the same look of horror in his dreams. He looks over at N who nervously grins. A sign comes up showing a junction with only left and right turns. Caine grabs the map and gives it to N.

Caine: (*flat*) Well, here ya go, navigator. Just follow my route on the map, son.

N: Okay.

They pass another sign pointing right to Idaho and left to California.

Caine: Here comes our junction.

N looks at the map from Lake Destiny to L.A., torn.

Caine: Okay, N, now this is it. Left or right?

N still can’t decide. They’re about to CRASH!!

Caine: Come on, N!

Finally, N at the last minute makes his decision.

N: '''''LEFT!'''''

The car scrapes the center divider as they barely make it up the left ramp. N looks back, then sighs. Caine widens in eyes of horror, then anger. N never saw his dad get angry like this before, all he could do was nervously smile. And try to alleviate whatever tension this came from. Only he might knew the source earlier than realized.

N: Uh... how 'bout a song, Dad?

Caine gets angrier.

N: A game? A game! Yeah! Yeah, a game! Okay! Uh, man or woman?

Caine gets even angrier.

N: Man? Man! Okay! Uh, Orville Park!

Caine swerves the car to a scenic overlook and stops the Cainemobile. He fumbles with the seat belt, gets out and stomps over to the stone wall at the edge of the overlook, fuming. N sighs, realizing that his dad is on to him and resolves to tell him what’s going on. He gets out of the car and goes over to him.

N: Dad... listen, about my directions-

Caine: I know. 

Caine turns his back around to face him.

Caine: Ken told me. I didn’t trust him then, but it just… made me wanna check. 

N: Y-you kn-?!

Caine: (*Disappointed*) Even after. I still trust you, I know, I know you’re not lying to be malicious, I know that there’s something more to this. But we almost died there. We could’ve crashed into that split, your head could’ve been crushed!

N: (*panic*) I-I-I-I-I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt yo-

Caine: You know when was the last time you ever lied in front of my face like this? You remember when that was? Or maybe you don’t because you probably tried forgetting it because it’s embarrassing, 

Caine: But I remember. Exactly when you were six, July 7th. You wanted to light the fireworks early to see it go boom. You found the matchbox and the set, lit it in the backyard while I was BBQ-ing. And then accidentally trip it down sending it to our neighbours next door. If it weren’t for Ken and Saul we wouldn’t be sued, tried for murder, and you orphaned. But I remember what you said when it all happened. ‘I didn’t do it dad. It was the boogeyman’.

Caine: And somehow none of that matters, I didn’t even get traumatized because of all the fear of losing you, the house, everything. In fact, It made me chuckle. Because of you. 

Caine: You have always been bad at lying since I remember you in that tiny shell. So when you change that map without me noticing… It… It feels like I saw something in you I didn’t recognize. I don’t even want to know what that is.

Caine: Nothing. Will ever hurt more than today.

N: Will you just please, please listen to me?!

Caine: Why '''bother?''' I’m probably too stupid to understand anyway, right?

N: (*Frustrated*) THIS ADVENTURE IS STUPID!!

Caine’s eyes widened with horror. And hurt as he turns.

N: (*angered*) I spent almost my entire summer here. When I should’ve been spending it planning my date with Uzi and the party. I told you that in full confidence but you didn’t listen, and you gave me those puppy eyes when you know, YOU KNOW, I can’t handle them. How’s that fair?! But I decided to go anyway, because you’re my dad and I wanted to see I was wrong. Freddy’s Park was a bust and so was the whole Bigfoot thing. But not one of them did I ever, EVER, get disappointed in you, because I know you’re trying. 

N: But even after all that. After just letting and trying and doing what you-

Caine: What I want?! Mr. Please, not like you didn’t pick which route to go to, or did you forget who paid for the Jetskis, the Amusement Park and the Monster Trucks.

N: That was different.

Caine: Don’t even give me that lame excuse.

N: Well… Well (*frustration bubbling*) You’re lame.

Caine: Hey!

N: And, and, I hate how you hit Freddy when I was hugging him, I hate how you think a possum means I wanna dance and everyone, even the kids, was making fun of me, it was humiliating!! I hated how I didn't even get the chance to fish, or be chased by bigfoot!!

Caine: Look, I’ll admit I did a few bad things here and there, but you can't just whine about everything bad happening to you!

N: Well… I, I hate YOU!!!

Caine: (*gasp, as a figuratively anatomical heart shatters to a million pieces. And he too bubbled up in anger, a maniacal non-funny anger that's akin to a beast*) You… you… grgkh… AGGGHHHH!!!!

Caine summons his Cane and starts hitting the stone walls and causing property damage to the Coin-operated Tourist Binoculars. Screaming and shouting, you can see his red eyes on one side and blue on the other. Caine even shows signs of abstractions. He’s crying

N: Ohmygod. Dad. Dad!! Stop, stop, stop!! Please stop!! What if someone sees you!

Caine: LET ‘EM SEE!! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!! I’ll JUST GIVE ‘EM A SHOW!!

Caine didn't hear, he kept on whacking the machine until it bent and stored coins popped out. It went down pretty fast despite it being metal. N grabs ahold of the cane before he did anything he regret.

But just then. With too much force on Caine's end the cane slips from N’s hand and it breaks his screen face. Cracking the glass as he stumbles down on the ground. The remains besides him. 

Caine realized too late when he opens his eyes, back conscious again.

Caine: Oh…  Ohmygod… (*breathing heavily*) Ohmygod, Ohmygod. Holy… Son? (*Remembering familiar traumatic events*) Nonononono. Son, I’m so sorry I was just (*he tried reaching his hand out, N hesitated and moved back a bit holding the crack frame. He looks as stunned as when Caine did on the motel*.) No I’m sorry, it was an accident I didn't mean… Grrrrrraaaaashhhhh….. Stupid, stupid, Caine! (*Throws cane at the car, making it rolls on itself to the slope*)

N: Hey-hey-hey! Cainemobile!

Caine: CAINEMOBILE!!

They begin chasing after the car as it rolls down the mountain highway.

Caine: Dammit, Dammit.

N: Dad, am I allowed to use my wings now?

Caine: Does it look like you needed to ask?!

The car goes under a low underpass and knocks their equipment off. Caine steps on a skateboard and N joins him wings wide to speed boost as he grabs as much stuff flying with his tail and long hands. They catch up with the car and Caine manages to grab the door handle.

Caine: You '''locked''' it!

N: ''I'' locked it? It’s '''your''' door. '''''You''''' locked it! (*He goes around to the other side and gets in.*)

Caine: Well, ''you'' distracted me!

N: (*he rolls down the window and pulls Caine half into the car.*) You should've put the '''brake''' on!

Caine: Why don’t ya just put it on yourself? (*he attempts to set the brake, but it comes off in his hand.*)

N: See? You ruin everything.

The car has dislodged the retaining fence and Caine is being shaken by the posts as the car rolls over them.

Caine: Well, you ruined the adventure!

The car sails into the air and bounces on some rock formations.

N: '''I''' ruined it?! (*as the car bounces.*) I never… (*bounce*) …wanted to go… (*bounce.*) …on this stupid… (*bounce.*) …''''adventure!'''''

The car makes a final dive into the river. N gets separated from the car, but manages to swim back to it. Caine is hanging from the side of the car.

N: Now look where you got us, Dad!

Caine: Where ''I'' got us?! (*He boosts N to the roof.*)

N: You should’ve let me stay at home!

Caine: You agreed to this!!  

N: You played dirty! Puppy Eyes are my weakness!!

Caine: Well even if I did. You’d think I’ll let you end up in prison?!

N: (*he pulls Caine up to the roof. The car goes through some rapid.*) Prison?! I’ve been meaning to ask that. WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?!

Caine: Your Principal called me…

N: It’s not what ya think, Dad…

Caine: You '''lied''' to me!

N: I panicked!! I’m sorry about that, okay!?! And it's… not like you're any better. Screen cracked remember?

Caine: Well I’m… sorry about that too!! I was only tryin' to take my boy fishin', okay?!

N: Well… Maybe I’m '''''NOT''''' your little boy anymore, Dad! You ever think that??!! Maybe I’ve grown up?! Maybe I’ve always wanted my own life, maybe I don't want to be silly or stupid, maybe I wanna grow-up to be cool!!

Caine: I '''''know''''' that! I’m supposed to '''''know''''' that! It’s just… I just wanted to be '''part''' of it! Bein’ cool too…

The car gets past the last of the rapids.

Caine: You’re my son, N. No matter how big ya get, you’ll ''always'' be my son.

The car slowly drifts downstream and Caine and N sadly sit on the roof with their backs to each other. The sun breaks through the clouds and N finally decides to break the silence.

N: 🎶 (*singing*) There are times you drive me, shall we say, bananas... and your mind is missing, no offense, a screw...🎶

Caine: (*spoken*) None taken!

N: 🎶(*singing*) Still, whatever mess I land in, who is always understandin’? Nobody else but you!🎶

Caine:🎶 (*singing*) Oh, your moodiness is now and then bewildering... and your values may be, so to speak, askew!🎶

N: (*spoken*) Gesuntheit!

Caine: (*spoken*) Thanks! 🎶 (*singing*) Who deserves a hero’s trophy as we face each catastrophe? Nobody else but you!🎶

Both: 🎶(*singing*) Nobody else but you! It’s just our luck. We’re stuck together! Nobody else but you! It’s crazy enough to believe we’ll come through!🎶

N: 🎶(*singing*) So your jokes are all, let’s face it, prehistoric!🎶

Caine: 🎶(*singing*) And your music sounds like monkeys in a zoo!🎶

Both:🎶 (*singing*) But when life becomes distressing, who will I be S-O-S-ing?🎶

N: 🎶(*singing*) If you’re having trouble guessing here’s a clue! ‘Though he seems intoxicated, he’s just highly animated! And he’s nobody else but…🎶

Both: 🎶 (*singing*) Nobody else but you! We’ve turned into a true blue duo! Hard times--we’ve had a few…🎶

Caine:🎶 (*singing*) Like we’re thrown in the drink…🎶

N:🎶 (*singing*) Like we’re tossed out of town…🎶

Both: 🎶(*singing*) But when I start to sink, hey, I’d rather go down with nobody else but Y - O - U!🎶

Caine kisses N on the forehead.

N: (*spoken*) Aw, Dad!

Fade to further down the river. N has apparently explained everything he did and why after they both apologizes profusely. Especially with N wiping away the crack thanks to eldritch healing magic.

N: …Well, anyway. I figure she’s never gonna wanna talk to me again, much less go out with me. What a dumb lie, huh?

Caine: No. I understand, used to lie one time for this one gal but that's besides the point. Gosh, you’re really growin' up! It happened so fast, I... guess I sort of missed it! I know you’ve been planning this, but golly gee, I didn’t realize how far… Kinda scary seeing you grow up so fast…

N: Well, Pomni and Thad helped, obviously.

Caine: They sure did. Did they. Makes me pretty jealous you have such nice friends… Have I… (*twiddles finger, mouth biting itself in triggering memories*) ever tell you how you were born? (*N shakes his head, but shows signs he’s curious*) I remember it clearly. The year was 1970. The scars of war was still fresh. And me, and my team, was assigned onto Operation: Fortuna Bermuda. One last weapon from the gooks, Intel suggest it’s some sort of WMD hidden in a black site deep in the mountains. Shock & Awe tactic, go in as the wounds were fresh, then go out.

Caine: I remember that building. Tall, black, imposing. It's such an odd building among all the other structures the NK commies made as we infiltrated the place. Even the people there were stranger still, but none of that holds a candle when I saw it. Their WMD. 

Caine: I was alone there, the rest of my squad set up the charges around and destroy any research making sure none of the gooks gets any edge to start another. They trusted me to do the job alone, bein’ put in charge and getting everyone home safe… 

Caine: but how can I kill children?

N: (*N’s eyes widen in shock*)…That was me and Cyn?

Caine: (*nods*) Originally I wanted to put both of you into orphanages, but, that sounded irresponsible. And it was Bubble’s suggestion anyways. So, I thought, hey, how hard is it to take care of two kids? I’m sure I can do better than dear ol’ dad.

N: Heh… You kinda regret it now didn't you?

Caine: Not even a moment. I wouldn't even trade either of you for the whole world. I’d burn it, if it means repeating the day I met the both of you.

N: (*sobbing pure ugly*) Aw, Dad!

Caine: Welp, I think the only thing for us to do now is to get you up on stage with this Powerline feller.

N: Uh, how are we gonna do that?

Caine: …Wings.

N: Oh, right. Oops. But, I don't think I deserve to go after what I said. I-I think we should just, you know, forget it.

Caine: Now, son, if you put it like that I’m gonna think you thought that I’ll lead ya into some sort of calamity?

N: (*Look ahead, shocked at said calamity.*) Duh, duh, Dad?

Caine: What’s wrong now?

N: (*N turns his dad’s head forward.*) '''LOOK!''' (*The Cainemobile is approaching a high waterfall.*)

Caine: (*matter of factly*) A waterfall. (*panicked*) WATERFALL?!?!

Caine and N attempt to paddle upstream, forgetting one could fly, and succeed only for a bit, but fail when the tide gets too much stronger. Caine gets thrown from the car, with his wings splashed by the water as he grabs a rock and the current too strong against the metal. N continues toward the falls on the car.

N: '''''DAAAAAAD!'''''

Caine: N!

A fishing pole hits Caine in the back of the head. Caine grabs it and climbs over the rock formations trying to find a good place to try and reach for N. He finally gets to a log and climbs to the end of it. He extends the pole toward N.

Caine: Grab a hold, N!

N obeys, and tries to grab hold, and misses the line that is reaching out to him. The car goes over a rock in the river and flips over.

N: Whooooa!

Caine gasps as N gets tangled in a tarp. Caine tries to stop the car from going over the falls by casting the line to it and succeeds for a moment. Then the force of the falls breaks the log and Caine is dumped in the river and crashes into a rock. N looks down and gasps. N and the car go over the falls, he is still entangled in the tarp. As he screams and falls, the tarp becomes a parachute and the updraft from the falls carries him up above the falls. N then sees his father heading for the edge of the falls.

N: '''Dad!'''

With a final effort, Caine extends the fishing pole still in his hand toward N in the moment in which he would tumble helplessly down below. N grabs the end. For a moment, the two are dangling above the falls. They give a happy look at each other. Ignoring the exchange, the cork handle of the fishing pole, which is not able to hold on much longer, and due to the weight of N and his parachute tarp, comes off and snaps with a loud pop as Caine begins to fall.

Caine: '''''NNNNNNNNNNNN!'''''

N almost without thinking and now remembering what his dad did at the fishing area, he spins the fishing pole around and starts doing the Perfect Cast and throws the line to his dad.

N: (*to himself*) Ten o’clock. Quarter to three. Tour Jete. Twist. I’m a little teapot. Let ‘er fly!

The fishing line flies toward the retreating figure of Caine, who screams while falling down. Both are soon lost in the mist at the base of the falls. N begins to worry that he is too late. Then the line goes taut. N gasps, and begins to get pulled down, but starts reeling in the line. Soon, the figure of his father can be seen, hooked by the seat of his pants. N, relieved, reels Caine in all the way. Caine with tears in his eyes knows how his son saved him.

Caine: The Perfect Cast.

Caine and N hug each other. The map, blown by the wind, lands on Caine’s head.

N: Boy, this has been one crazy adventure. I probably should've used my wings.

Caine: Like father & son.

Caine: But it’s not over yet!

Caine tosses the map to the wind. The map sails toward the camera and shows Los Angeles.

***

Cut to the Powerline concert. Cars are being directed in. A couple of people are tossing instrument cases into a loading dock. A drum case opens, and N gets out.

N: (*whispers*) Dad? (*He opens a fiddle case and Caine falls out.*)

Caine: We made it! Come on, N! Let’s get you on stage!

N: Uh, maybe this isn’t such a good idea.

A couple of spandex dressed Guinevere dancers pass by N. N looks at them bedazzled.

N: Wow… they look like they hate Capitalism. (*he notices that his dad is nowhere to be seen.*) Dad? Dad!

Cut to the stage. Powerline is starting his final number.

'''Powerline''' (*singing*): 🎶I got myself a notion and one I know that you’ll understand. We set the world in motion by reaching out for each other’s hand.🎶

N: (*he is under the stage trying to find Caine.*) Dad? He looks up and sees Powerline from the back.

'''Powerline''': 🎶 (*singing*) Maybe we’ll discover what we should have known all along.🎶

N has a flash light shine in his face.

Vortex: What are you doing here? Hey!

N runs from the guard.

'''Powerline''': 🎶(*singing*) One way or another, together’s where we both belong.🎶

Caine: (*he is backstage going through a hall of dressing rooms.*) N? N?

Caine opens one of the rooms and discovers a Guinevere clone trying to get dressed. She screams in alarm. Caine looks extremely embarrassed. She hits Caine and sends him tumbling backward into a rather large and imposing piece of equipment with a door in the side. The door closes with Caine inside and then starts buzzing.

'''Powerline''': 🎶(*singing*) If we listen to each other’s heart, we’ll find we’re never too far apart, and maybe love is the reason why, for the first time ever, we’re seeing it I 2 I.🎶

Through the TV screen, we go back to V’s party. Everyone is gathered around the TV hoping for a chance to see N on TV.

Thad: That N kid ain’t there!

Uzi looks worried.

V: (*To Uzi*) Isn't he his friend?

Cut back to L.A. N is running from the Security Guard and climbs onto a row of lights which rises. The Guard is right behind him. Caine is now in a large globe, just like Powerline made his entrance in for the final number which begins to rise through a trap door in the stage.

Caine: Excuse me, but uh… (*he ends up center stage with Powerline. He squints into the audience.*) N?

Just as with Powerline, Caine’s globe is bathed with electrical charges. Caine gets the shock of his life and the globe explodes, throwing Caine at Powerline’s feet. Powerline stops and stares at Caine. N, from the rafters, sees his dad, is first embarrassed, then gets an idea and shouts down to his dad.

N: Hey, Dad! Dad! Do the Perfect Cast!

Caine does it, and it looks like some kind of dance. Powerline gets interested and joins Caine right at the "I’m a little teapot" part.

'''Powerline''': (*singing*) If you’re ever lonely, stop. You don’t have to be. After all it’s only a beat away from you to me.

Vortex crawls across the scaffolding to N. N leaps over him to the other side. His wire breaks and N grabs it. The guard grabs N’s feet and they both go sailing. The guard ends up smashing into a large TV display, and N ends up center stage with Powerline. N gets up and starts doing the Perfect Cast.

'''Powerline''': (*singing*) If we listen to each other’s heart, we’ll find we’re never too far apart.

Cut to V’s party.

Thad: Yeah! N is on the tu-ube! That’s N! I know him!

Uzi gets a wide eye and a big grin on her face.

'''Powerline''': (*singing*) And maybe love is the reason why for the first time ever, we’re seeing it I 2 I.

Cut to Ken’s RV. Mel & Pomni is scrubbing the floor in front of the TV and sees N.

Pomni: He did it!

Mel: Huh? Oh, DAD!! YOUR FRIENDS ON TV!!

Ken comes up behind Mel, sees N and Caine, and spits the beer he was drinking on the screen. He stares at the TV with his jaw dropped. Cut back to V’s party. V and Uzi are trying to do the Perfect Cast. Thad comes by and sprays them with cheese. Thad bumps into someone and drops the can. Thad and V reach the can at the same time and their hands touch. They look at each other and smile. The concert finishes with a bang. 

***

Fade to later. Caine is just pulling up in the new and improved Cainemobile taken from the wreck by N, strong boy he is. In front of Uzi’s house. The car is better than ever, now less awkward to look at. 

Caine: You’re doin' the right thing, son.

N: Yeah, I know. But she’ll probably never talk to me again.

Caine: Well, if she doesn’t, maybe she’s just not the one for you.

N: That’s what I’m afraid of. (*He goes to the front door and rings the doorbell. Uzi’s father answers.*) Uh... hi! Remember me?

The door slams.

Uzi: (*from inside*) Daaaadddd!! (*she opens the door and comes out.*) N?! I saw you on TV! You were great! And it was real!!

N: Yeah? I mean, no, no. I mean, uh... Uzi, I lied to you. I don’t even '''know''' Powerline.

Uzi: I mean. I already know that, dummy. A billion people saw you dance with him either way it's so cool!!

N: Yeah, well... I-I never met him before. The concert, that is.

Uzi: N I know it's not real. You were just trying to impress me, even if I already like you, but you did it anyways, I dunno how, but, like, wow?!?!

N: I don’t know. I... I guess, I just... wanted you to like me.

Uzi: Is… is this a bit?!

N looks at Uzi, smug.

Uzi: Oh you! Ehm. So... you wanna do something tonight?

N: Definitely! Oh! Oh no, I can’t. I can’t.

Uzi: (*she looks at N oddly.*) What?

N: Well, I’m kinda doin' somethin' with my dad. Honest? How about tomorrow?

Uzi: Alright Papa’s boy, Deal.

Uzi extends her hand for N to shake. N kisses Uzi instead. They both giggle and N lets out a full Caine laugh. He covers his mouth, but Uzi just smiles. Back at the Cainemobile, Caine has managed to get the front bumper back on the car after hitting it for staring at him sexually. He grins and points at it. The car explodes. Caine is sent flying. With a full Caine yell, Caine lands headfirst on the roof of Uzi's porch. Caine goes halfway through with his head and arms sticking through to the porch area. He chuckles and waves at N and Uzi. N smiles.

N: Uzi, I’d like you to meet my dad.

Caine: (*takes Uzi’s hand and kisses it.*) Enchanté, Mademoiselle.

They all laugh, and the camera rises to the blue sky. The credits roll.

'''THE END'''

****

EPILOGUE

N: Dad… Is our house burning?

Caine: Huh. Oh! It's probably just Cyn and Bubbles playing Mafia again. You were quiet the heavy sleeper when they gets around.

Cyn: THE KOREAN MAFIAS ARE COMING TO TAKE OUR HOUSE!!

Tessa: BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY’RE REAL

Bubble: Property Damage is fun!

Caine: Well, you heard her. KIDS! PREPARE FOR WAR!!

DES ROC - This Land Plays