Archive of Our Own ^beta

Clark finds Lois sitting at Chloe's grave, talking in low tones.

He hadn't meant to interrupt her — he had come to see Chloe, but she was here anyway and Clark thinks he might as well introduce himself to her properly.

"I'm surprised you even remember who I am," Lois says eyebrow raised, shifting on her feet. She looks at him in half apprehension and half curiousness.

It would be harder to forget.

"Chloe's cousin," he says without missing a beat, moving towards her. "Nicorette addiction, can't stand uncomfortable silences?"

He finds it odd that he still remembers all she talked about on the way to the hospital and in the waiting room. Why does he remember that she is trying to quit smoking, which started as a rebellion to her father which — to his mild horror — started when she was 15 ?

Lois stares at him, contemplating, still skeptical. Clark waits patiently. He can't exactly blame her for being dubious of him.

"I guess that means your synapses are all firing again?" she says, lips quirked up.

Clark simply nods, not having any further explanation. What can he say?

Oops sorry I was stuck inside a prison in my own mind and my Kryptonian self took over and I didn't have my memories and I flew in space but now I'm back as myself?

They don't make cards for that, he suspects.

"Look, I—" he pauses, thinking carefully about his next words.

For all Kal-El talked about being superior, Clark thinks he wouldn't know how to explain to Lois either, if his bemused, curious behavior in the car and in the hospital with Lois were any indication. If it were any other situation, Clark would find it funny how he — no, Kal-El, just went along with her as she bossed him around, filling the silence with plenty of words. 

"I can't explain my actions for the past few days," he starts, internally wincing at his explanation. If Lois thinks he sounds foolish and is absolutely avoiding explaining anything to her, she gives no indication. She simply looks at him, eyes observant and scrutinising.

He thinks if it were Chloe listening to him say something like that yet again, she would give him an incredulous stare and sigh in frustration.

Her memory hits him suddenly.

Chloe.

"But Chloe was my best friend," he continues, looking past Lois onto Chloe's grave. Clark feels his insides hurt, not seeing his best friend up and about, gleefully talking about The Torch or some new meteor-infested story. "You're not the only one who misses her," he says softly, despair filling his being.

He hadn't even known.

Granted he doesn't think he was aware of anything the past few months besides the last couple of days but how could he not know his friend, his best friend, died ?

If he hadn't been so involved in his own situation and tried to make amends with Chloe much earlier, would this still have happened?

She would have never gone to the Luthors — and never been involved with them and now she is gone and it's all his fault —

"I'm just the only one doing something about it," Lois says sharply, an edge to her voice, and Clark's chain of thought breaks, replaced by confusion and a twinge of annoyance. Lois looks at him like she is daring him to say something back to her.

He turns to her, eyes narrowed. "I get the feeling you like to do things yourself."

Lois matches his gaze, eye to eye, undeterred. She mildly shrugs. "My dad raised me to be independent and self-sufficient,"

"That'd be one way to describe you," he mirrors her expression as they look at each other in silence. Lois's gaze is scrutinising and annoyed, but Clark is not one to back down. She is odd, he thinks and Clark knows he doesn't have much ground to decide that, but he doesn't know whether to be amused, annoyed, or weirded out by her. He can't figure her out or his perception of her.

"You know, the only thing I like about you at the moment," Lois shakes her head, lips quirked up again. "…is your mom."

Clark smiles at that, despite himself.

"You can't possibly be as weird as I think you are with a mom that cool,"

His mom is cool, thank you very much.

In fact, she had liked Lois too and if Martha Kent liked Lois, then Clark figures there should be no reason for him to be difficult to her. Maybe. He doesn't know. He's never quite met someone like her before.

"Look, why don't you let me help you find out who did this to Chloe ?" he suggests. He sees the hesitation in her eyes, which again, he can't blame her for. "Come on, you can stay at our house while you're in town."

"It beats living out of your car," he continues, and Clark can see the moment Lois gets convinced.

She nods slowly, lips slightly pursed, but at least she wasn't looking at him dubiously anymore. "Thanks,"

"But you should know...I don't pay attention to curfews and never make my bed," she adds, mirth dancing in her eyes as she turns and leaves to give him some privacy with Chloe.

Clark can't help but scoff. She just has to have the last word.

What a character.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

"Lois!" Clark calls out in concern, super-speeding towards her. "Are you —" his words trail off as he takes in the surroundings, stupefied.

Lois stands a few feet ahead, in a fighting stance till she hears Clark. She turns back to look at him, smirking. Well, well, well. Isn’t it nice of you to join us?

He stares at her numbly, still processing the multiple knocked-out masked men behind her. The failed chopper was down as well, thanks to his courtesy, but his attention remains on the men on the floor.

"Don't just stand there, come on!" She rolls her eyes, clearly proud of her work done and frustrated with his blank reaction. She runs back, grabbing his hand for them to get out of there before the men from the chopper get out and chase them.

Clark snaps out of it when his feet are dragged along with hers to run.

Had she fought them on her own?

Well.

It seemed he had underestimated her in a sense.

Belatedly, he realises as she still drags him along —even though he's literally running along with her ,in fact he is much faster than her — he should have focused on the chopper and who was behind it, or who the masked men were, instead of blanking at Lois, but oh well.

He could investigate by himself after he ditches Lois later. And yet... can't seem to shake of the feeling that the worst is still yet to arrive.

+

And it does arrive not too late — the very next hour in fact — with Lois-freaking-Lane having absolutely no concept of personal space, if her being in the bathroom drying her hair while he's taking a shower is any indication.

Clark's thoughts are a mess, still reeling in the fact that there is a girl in the bathroom and he's naked in the shower, the only thing separating them being the shower curtain.

Does she have no sense of shame or embarrassment? He thinks hotly, face burning.

Why on earth—

"Oh, don't start with me, Smallville," she says when he protests, not minding the whole I'm-violating-his-privacy-while-he-is-showering situation in the least. "You're the one taking the marathon shower!"

Clark wants to curse his fate, he just had to open his mouth and offer his place for her to stay.

Then there she's making fun of him being stark naked in the corn field she had found him in, telling him he needn't mind the current situation because her "delicate feminine sensibilities" weren't offended by his naked state the first time.

Clark allows himself to wonder what kind of trouble she would land in if he cracked his head open against the wall and died right then and there.

Surely, she would be blamed and locked up?

Local boy dies due to mortification and head injury caused by loud-mouthed, shameless girl who wouldn't let him shower.

But then again, how would he die?

His head would be perfectly fine against the wall. The wall would have a hole instead, and he would curse his existence yet again.

Clark can’t even think of dying in a normal way.

Ugh.

"My parents kind of missed the whole Woodstock stage," he manages to tell Lois, jaw clenched. "Besides, they freaked out the last time they caught me in a co-ed situation," he says and immediately regrets it.

He can already imagine the shit-eating grin Lois has on her face.

Clark needs to get a towel, cover himself, and get the hell out of the bathroom.

"Last time?" Lois muses, and he can hear the smirk in her voice. Clark finds his chance to grab the towel when Lois has her back turned and covers it along his waist.

He barely acknowledges what she says, getting out of the shower, glaring at her furiously.

"Just forget it, alright!" he scowls, looking at her clearly. She stands there grinning with a towel in her hand, hair dripping wet, clad in his red plaid shirt.

His. Plaid. Shirt.

His?

"That's my shirt —?" Clark sputters, flustered, his synapses shooting furiously haywire, no coherent thought forming in his head. He ignores that his shirt is the only piece of clothing she has on —?

….?

Lois shrugs casually, but Clark knows she is enjoying every minute of this torture. She can barely stop grinning.

"It's the only thing I could find that was clean," Lois says matter-of-factly, as if that's an excuse.

Clark blinks harshly, and knows he has to get out before he does something he will regret, like drown her in the very bathtub he came out of.

He tries to move past her, but she moves along with him, trying to get his attention again. Before he can snap at her yet again, Lois tells him not to talk about the chopper situation of the morning to anyone.

As if that is a pressing concern at the moment.

As if Clark is pondering tattling about the freaking chopper to anybody right now. He would feel much more comfortable fully dressed and away from Lois, thank you very much.

He hurriedly agrees and grabs the door, desperate to get out of there.

Only to find his mother, right in front of him, holding a pair of clean clothes for him.

"Mom!" his voice cracks, and he can hear Lois silently snicker.

Oh God.

He forces the door to close as much as possible, trying to hide Lois's presence in the bathroom.

"Hi!" his mother beams at him pleasantly.

"You're…" Clark pauses, lips dry. "…home?"

She smiles, confused at the obvious statement.

And because Lois-I-have-no-concept-of-personal-space Lane could not have a worse timing if she wanted to, who clearly wants her presence to be known, who definitely wants Clark's blood vessels to burst in stress and kill him, she pops her head right behind his back, grinning.

"Hi, Mrs. Kent !" Lois exclaims happily, not embarrassed in the least.

His mother's reaction is almost comical, with her eyes widening in surprise and jaw dropping. Her mouth moves, but no words are uttered.

Realisation dawning upon her that her precious son was in the shower with a girl who has no concept of shame, he assumes,  who is going to be the death of one Clark Kent.

Clark closes his eyes helplessly, giving up and not bothering to defend himself .

Local boy dies of embarrassment when his mother catches him with loud-mouthed, brash girl in the bathroom and assumes they were hooking up in the shower.

+

He thinks it couldn't possibly get worse after that. Lois has caught him naked without memories in the middle of the field, she has caught him in the shower — Clark couldn't possibly be more embarrassed and annoyed by her anymore.

This is rock bottom, but as it turns out with Lois , he is constantly surprised. It can get worse, apparently.

Because she walks back with Lana, of all people, and suddenly Clark is extremely self-conscious of all the things Lois might have possibly said to Lana.

Sweet, beautiful, kind Lana (unlike Lois, who was anything but — well. She was beautiful, Clark can admit that. Which means nothing. ), who Clark has hurt time and time again by keeping his secret, but someone who still understands him the best way she can. He hadn't thought he would see Lana so soon, and his heart races again, as it always does with Lana in the picture.

"How did you two…?" Clark asks awkwardly, head all but tilting in confusion.

"We just met," Lana says, awkward as well, while Lois positively beams to Clark's annoyance, gloating about Lana and how she saved her.

"I stopped by the cemetery to pay my respects to Chloe," Lana continues.

Clark wishes things would go back to when it was easier to talk to Lana. Not this invisible barrier between them, where they could hardly look into each other's eyes.

He ignores that he's always felt nervous and has a dull ache in his heart with Lana. It’s never just been… comfortable.

Lois lets it slip that Lana was seeing someone else in her time in Paris. Clark didn't think it was possible for his heart to break more, but it does.

His gloomy reaction doesn’t go unnoticed.

"Really?" Lois asks, face scrunching in confusion. "You two?" she asks incredulously.

It's not that unbelievable, please. He wants to snark back, but he holds his tongue. What would you know about love, anyway? He thinks bitterly.

"We never —"

"Not really—"

"Had a thing?"

"It's complicated," Lana settles on, and Clark couldn't agree more.

"A complicated thing," Lois says slowly, nodding. "Uh...never mind," she smiles awkwardly, eyes on the ground.

And now all three of them were standing looking at each other in silence, uncomfortable .

Courtesy of one nosy Lois Lane.

Lana leaves soon enough, and Lois then has the decency to look apologetic as Lana drives away. "Really crashed and burned on that one…" she winces.

"Must be a daily ritual for you?" Clark quips, frustrated.

Lois turns to him, eyebrows raised. "Only when I'm barreling into a train wreck," she smiles sardonically, expression dropping to a scowl as Clark mirrors the same.

Later, even as she tells him about Chloe, how she found her coffin empty — she digged Chloe's coffin ? — and how LutherCorp certainly had a hand, he can't bring himself to concentrate, mind still thinking about Lana, what her being back meant, about the "hot summer fling" in Paris as Lois so eloquently put.

"Clark? Hello?" Lois waves her hand in front of him, snapping him out of his reverie and he feels like a deer caught in headlights when he sees her knowing look mixed with concern.

"Wow," Lois muses. "She really did a number on you, huh?"

Clark pretends to not understand, scrunching his eyebrows. He is not talking about his love life to Lois of all people.

"Lana?" Lois presses. "Cute,smart, gutsy ? Way too much for you to handle," she murmurs the last part.

Clark says nothing. "I can see why you're in love with her," she says not unkindly, but it bothers Clark anyway.

“You just met her today…?” What do you know about her anyway ?

“And she’s gorgeous and saved my life, so what exactly is your point?” Lois asks brazenly, and for a moment, he’s paranoid and thinks Lois might actually take Lana away from him.

Her smirking doesn’t help. He wonders if she can hear his thoughts.

He tells her he doesn't want to talk about it, and she drops it, choosing to sit in the loft and for some reason Lois not talking and asking questions bothers him more than her going around pressing for answers.

So frustrating.

With all this, he's not able to focus on what's truly important — Chloe's disappearance. But it's…Lana.

Sometimes, Clark doesn’t know who he becomes when he is with Lana.  She has been in his life for as long as he can remember, and every moment with her he’s spent pining for her, admiring her. He doesn’t think he knows how to be simply friends with her. They have circled each other's orbits, had the push and pull, but he doesn't think they've had a phase where they were truly only friends. A part of him has always just staunchly believed that it would always be him and Lana. The meant-to-be couple.

Because what else could this feeling be, other than love ?

But there are these flickers sometimes, when he sees past a certain layer, when the image of Lana he believes cracks, and he sees someone different — someone unrecognisable. Those usually emerge when Clark refuses to tell her his secret.

It’s nothing wrong, but just different. Clark doesn’t like it when it breaks his vision of her.

Lois studies him, trying to make sense of her relationship, mumbling some praise about Lana.

“It’s just,” Clark starts, wondering if he was going to regret this. He might as well just say something. He has a feeling Lois wouldn't let it go. “It’s hard when you think you know a person, truly know them, we grew up together, and then the next thing you know —”

“You don’t even know what continent they are on?” Lois interrupts— unhelpfully.

For the love of god. Could she never just listen?

"Do you always have to finish people's thoughts?!" he snaps, irritated.

Lois seems unfazed. “But am I right?”

That’s not the point.

Clark clenches his jaw, refusing to speak with her. It was a mistake.

Obviously.

Why did he expect her to understand ?

“Look,” Lois says after a beat of silence. Clark thinks he sees a regretful look from the corner of her eye, and he wonders if she does feel a little bad for upsetting him.

“I don’t think it’s as complicated as you’re making it Clark,” Lois says meaningfully.

“She’s still finding and discovering new things about herself. She's young. You are young ! It’s okay to be surprised at not having someone figure out. Discovering new sides of each other should be a good thing."

Clark stares, stunned.

He didn't think Lois could actually participate in a conversation like this.

"…And if it makes you doubt and spiral so much… maybe you should ask yourself why you are in love with her.”

He doesn't get the chance to ask what she means by that — He knows why he loves Lana, it’s...Lana — when her father, who is a three-star general ? ( the one who was apparently handling the chopper earlier ?) arrives to get her, and just as suddenly as she came into his life, Lois is…gone?

Clark rolls in bed that night, her words repeating in his head, about Chloe, about Luthercorp, even their earlier conversation . Even when Lois is not there, she has a way to bother him.

Maybe you should ask yourself why you are in love with her.

And that might be worse in a way.

+

He finds Lois again the next day in the army base, going through files, having reached the same conclusion he had after his talk with Lex. Sam Lane was involved in Chloe's disappearance.

They work quietly, Lois talking about her late mother, as they go through various records, and for the first time, Clark sees a different side to Lois. A more humane side, not shielded by sarcasm and banter, a child forced to grow up too soon.

"Make yourself useful," she says, shoving entry records into his hand with force, uncomfortable with his gaze, closing the conversation about her mother.

Clark speeds to the address they find, leaving Lois at the army base. He figures she would be safer there, and even if someone found her, she would be okay.

I'm an army brat. I've spent my life in these bases, Clark.

It would be safer for her there than be with him.

+

But of course, Lois doesn't want to be safe.

The hints were all there: the brash confidence, the no-care attitude, the masked men she fought when the chopper was behind them, fighting the man who attacked her in the graveyard instead of going to a place of safety or running away — ?

So really, he shouldn't be surprised when he finds her at the old foundry, electrocuting the man attacking Clark with a zap gun.

It's weird, Clark thinks, having backup for one of his fights. It's not too bad, if he can ignore the rising concern in his chest as she fearlessly goes headfirst into fights. Lois did help him, though, so he supposes it does warrant gratitude.

"Chloe always told me this town was weird," Lois winces. "I don't know how you ever survived without me."

Nevermind.

She's back to annoying Clark again.

"How did you get here anyway?" he asks, not able to handle his curiosity even as he decides to ignore her. Clark had followed the address found at the base , found Lex, who had made calls to find the location of the old foundry, which Clark sped to. And yet Lois got here just a few minutes after him…?

Clark was not impressed in the least, but simply…curious.

"How did I get here?" Lois echoes, incredulous. "How did you get here?"

Touché.

They find Chloe unconscious on the ground, waking up as Clark untied her. When Chloe hugs him back, her tears flowing freely, he feels his chest get lighter.

Chloe was alive. He didn't lose another one of the people he loved.

He can still make amends — he was able to save her. The thought fills him with so much hope, everything in the world seems brighter.

And then Chloe jumps into Lois's arms, surprised to find her cousin in town. Clark sees Lois's hands tremble as she holds Chloe tightly, whispering words to her which he forces himself not to listen to. It's a private moment.

Clark feels a pang of guilt, having bickered with Lois so much when she was probably just worried sick about her cousin, having come to Smallville just to find some answers for Chloe.

Clark could have afforded to be nicer to her, even if she made it difficult to. Taken the higher road and all that.

Besides, they had made a good team, he thinks begrudgingly. They found Chloe together after all.

"Oh my god," Lois breathes to Chloe. "I am so glad I found you," she smiles in relief, blinking rapidly. To stop the incoming tears, Clark assumes.

Then her words register.

"…I..?"

Lois narrows her eyes, which were still shining with unshed tears, daring him to challenge her while Clark stares, mouth agape. He scoffs in surprise, speechless. Even when she was emotional and wanted to clearly cry, she would turn back and throw dust at him.

It’s not as if Clark wants all the credit, but they did work together...?

Wow.

He takes it all back. If anything, he could afford to be ruder to Lois.

Chloe looks between the two of them, bemused. "If you guys don't mind," she laughs in relief. "I'd really like to get out of here."

+

Clark soon realises —to his great horror— that from a third person's perspective, Clark and Lois look like they are much closer than they actually are.

"Just how much time have you spent together?" Chloe asks , bewildered at their interactions as they go at each other once again.

Lois and Clark stare at Chloe, eyes hard. "Too much," they say in sync, harsh glares directed at the other.

"I've never seen anyone get your attention like this so fast," Chloe says to him thoughtfully.

Lois snickers while Clark gives a betrayed look to Chloe.

"What is that supposed to mean?!"

+

Lana goes one extra step further and thinks they are dating.

"Lois?" he sputters, not liking Lana's knowing expression . "She's…she's bossy," he says, frowning, but his lips quirk up, betraying him. It’s a funny thought.

I am so glad “I” found you.

And maybe Clark still holds a grudge for that. Kind of. It’s amusing because didn’t he do everything?

Lois Lane was...a character.

Lana purses her lip, hiding a smile, and Clark immediately schools his expression to a serious one. He cannot let this misunderstanding fester.

"She's stuck up, she's rude," Clark adds, shaking his head. "I can't stand her!"

She invades his personal space, sleeps in his room, steals his shirts, refuses to give him credit, which again, it’s not that Clark wants to be labelled a hero, he couldn't care less. But Lois's stellar confidence in him being the least helpful and useless frustrates him to no bounds.

It is imperative that Lana understand.

Lana smiles at him, a little sadly, and he wishes he could hear what she was thinking. "The best ones always start that way," she says softly.

Clark likes Lana too much to say it to her face, so  he keeps mum. But he definitely thinks she might be going crazy.

Because in what mad world would Clark and Lois work out? They could never be together. They would make each other miserable. It’s such a simple fact to him. The sky is blue. The sun rises from the east. Clark and Lois could never be together.

It’s fine though, he thinks. She should be heading back soon, with Chloe being found. If there’s one thing Clark is sure of, he frustrates Lois as much as she does to him.

She would never stick around for longer than she has to. She would be heading back to the city any time now.

Then Lois is somehow going to his high school because she failed her last semester and can't get into college without 5 more credits, and it's like fate truly has it out for Clark Kent.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

Lois is clever, immensely so, Clark discovers soon — she somehow always manages to reach the crime scene or the suspicious address before or just after him, even when they are not working together.

It's as if they work on the same frequency, despite not communicating their thoughts to one another.

Clark is unable to get used to this. He thought the incident at the old foundry was luck, help from the army base perhaps, but for someone who claimed to hate investigative reporting, Lois was sharp and quick to reach the scene. He has half a mind to scold Lois for not involving him and letting him know.

Weren't they investigating this together ?

Does she really think he’s utterly useless ?

Sometimes though... it's okay. He doesn’t get bothered by it as much.

Lois doesn't look at him like she expects anything great of him, it’s not always derisive, but it’s that he's someone simple, and Clark realizes with aching pain that no one who knows him in any capacity looks at him like that.

Like he's normal.

And it’s probably because she doesn’t know him well enough, but it’s comforting nonetheless.

His parents have always known how different he was. His friends have known something was different about him, even if they couldn't quite figure out what or put into words, but it showed in their body language, the way they looked at him.

Pete found out his secret and left town for god’s sake.

Chloe almost died.

Lana...he doesn’t even know where to begin.

He could feel the expectations of all the people around him, to be better, to be there , to listen, and he wants to help, but sometimes it doesn’t come across, and he just thinks he’s living a mixture of lies.

Lois looks at him like he is someone who exists in her life, and maybe she didn’t think he was an equal yet — which was ridiculous — but it made it easier.

He was just another random person to her.

“You’re not another random person. What were you saying ?” Lois sighs as they walk back to the Kent farm.

Clark blinks. “Sorry?”

Could she really hear his thoughts?

“You said that earlier. When you caught me with that psychotic blood-crazed zoologist.” Lois makes a face. “Is it just Smallville that gets these new psychos every week? I never thought I would say a sentence like that.”

“Oh,” Clark breathes, feeling caught. He hadn’t realised he had voiced it out.

“What am I to you then, Lois?” he asks, without thinking any better. It's a moment of weakness, and he feels embarassed he even asks, but he wants to know.

Lois blinks in surprise this time, caught off guard.

She doesn’t answer.

Clark clears his throat, and they walk back in silence.

“I thought I had it in control,” Lois says after a while. At Clark’s expression, she sighs again. “The situation, I mean. And I thought wouldn’t involving him just put him in danger?” she reasons. “If I truly needed help, I’d ask.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” Lois concedes, truthfully. “That’s my problem , but that doesn’t mean I think you’re not...you know.”

“Not what?” Clark probes, but Lois huffs. “That’s enough from me, I’ve hit my be-nice-to-Clark quota for today.”

“Be-nice-to-Clark quota...” he echoes dryly. “Was today the first day of its existence?”

“First and last. I don’t think it’s working out very well,” Lois says, exaggerated.

“Ah, yes. Of course.”

“But also Clark,” Lois says when they reach the Kent farm. “Even if I thought you were a random nobody, why should it matter what I think?”

Clark doesn’t know how to answer that.

+

"Come on Lois," Clark teases, sitting on the dunk tank as she misses the target again.

He isn't quite sure how he got stuck in this situation, the team pushing him to be the unlucky student to get dunked into the pool of water below — It's tradition ! — but seeing Lois roped into it was at least funny.

Her form was completely wrong. She would twist her hips in the worst way possible, and Clark, for one, couldn't wait for her to fail again and tease her mercilessly.

"Didn't the guys at the base teach you anything?" he taunts, smirking.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Lois snarks, scoffing. Clark merely points to the target with his hands, unable to stop making fun.

"Doesn't matter, because you're going down," Lois says confidently, a sharp glint in her eye. As if she were waiting for Clark to poke fun to fuel her.

The crowd cheers, enjoying the entertainment, eager to see Clark get dunked.

"That'll be the day!" Clark laughs, crossing his arms.

Clark can imagine the very crowd booing after Lois misses the final shot and just how much fun he is going to have bringing it up and —

He’s falling into the pool.

Lois ends up hitting the target right on, and he never finishes his thoughts about how much fun he would have teasing her, because he wouldn’t know. Not anymore.

The world silences as he falls into the tank of water, and it’s almost peaceful. He can distantly hear everyone cheer, enjoying themselves, but Lois’s glee is the one he hears most clearly.

Clark comes up, grinning.

Well, damn.

She did get him.

Clark doesn't feel as annoyed as he thought he would when he sees Lois celebrate, hands up in the air in glee, high-fiving Chloe.

Their eyes meet and she moves her shoulders, trying to look suave.

You’re eating your words, I bet.

He is eating his words, but Clark can't seem to rid himself of the huge lopsided grin on his face, heart racing.

Lois Lane can always surprise him, it seems.

Their eyes don’t leave each other, and after a moment, Lois jogs to him while he remains in the dunk tank, soaking wet.

He watches her curiously, expecting her to rub it in his face further, but she bends forward and places her hand on his head.

She ruffles his hair, squinting as the water droplets splash, the action almost affectionate, and Clark fights the urge to lean further into her hands.

He feels the back of his neck get warmer in embarrassment which isn't completely unusual...He chalks it up to being caught off guard.

That's all.

In his defence, how many people treat him like that, ruffling his hair with the fingertips trailing across his forehead, other than his family? It’s a normal reaction.

Lois winks at him, obviously proud, before turning to go back.

Clark wonders if she would still smile like that if he pulled her into the pool of water with him.

He doesn’t want to find out what he would do then, so he does the next best thing. He pushes himself further and splashes her with water.

It mostly misses, but he knows he gets her, albeit slightly, because she looks back at him in surprise, the grin on her face mirroring his.

She scrunches her nose and bends her head slightly.

Time slows down.

The crowd fades away in his vision, and their voices sound distant just like when he was underwater. All Clark can hear is his own heartbeat, and all he sees is Lois, her eyes sparkling. Mirth dances in her eyes, and the moment feels so personal, as if the stage belonged solely to them.

Well, Smallville?

If Clark didn't know any better, he'd think he was feeling giddy. He hasn’t felt this light for a long time, joy bubbling in his chest, spreading to his being.

He wonders if Lois feels the same.

Like it's only them. In their own private bubble, their gazes wordless, but not empty, so much and so little being said at the same time, unable to tear their eyes from each other.

The best ones always start that way.

He tries to ignore Lana's voice in his head.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

"You know," Clark teases as he catches Lois walking down the hallway, arguing with the dean of the MetU on her phone. It was impossible to resist the urge to bother her.

Lois stops when she hears him, throwing him an irritated expression.

"If you spent as much time studying as you did trying to leave, you'd be in college already," he gives her a toothy smile, which irritates her more.

All things considered, Clark was right , so does it even count as bothering her?

"And when did you get that pearl of wisdom — the farmer's almanac?" Lois snarks as Clark's smile drops to a scowl.

Ha, ha.

It doesn't matter because the real reason he had tried to talk to her was about his new position on the football team anyway.

"So," Clark decidedly does not puff up his chest— he simply stands straighter— showing off his varsity letterman jacket, having made the football team.

"What do you think?" he asks, not letting him sound too excited. He was cool about this.

It's not like he's wanted this since he joined as a freshman, and he finally made it in his last year.

He is cool about it. It's breezy.

Lois looks at him carefully, eyes squinting, and he waits expectantly.

Not that he cares about Lois's opinion whatsoever.

But with Pete gone and Lana keeping her distance from him since she came from Paris, the only friends he's got lately are Chloe and — in a peculiar way — Lois.

Lois raises an eyebrow and shrugs. "They're not really your colours," she says simply. Clark all but deflates.

"They're the school's colours," he sulks.

Why did he bother asking her?

Lois shakes her head. "I'm glad you made the team, Clark — but why be a conformist?"

In a strange way, that reminds him of the speeches his father gave him. The thought of his father and his mixed feelings on Clark joining the team does not improve Clark’s deflated manner.

"At least with the whole farm boy plaid thing — as lame as it is— it completely belongs to you!" Lois exclaims, and Clark makes a face, wondering why he was expecting anything different.

She looks at him expectantly, as if waiting for him to agree with her.

"In the future, let's restrict our conversations to hello and goodbye," he deadpans, as Lois shakes her head in disappointment. As if he didn't understand some hidden wisdom in her words.

+

He does hear Lois quietly mumble to Chloe later after he leaves them in the Torch’s clubroom — thank you, super-hearing — and Clark is frankly worried at how his mood switches in an instant, just because of a few words. It shouldn't matter. It really shouldn't.

Yeah, yeah, he does look good with the jacket. And? Is he trying to fish for compliments from us ? A small laugh. No way am I ever giving him that satisfaction. Somone needs to bust his chops. He's such a teenage boy Chloe.

But it does matter to him and Clark can't hide the ridiculous smile that forms on his face as he heads to the locker room with the team.

So she did think it looked great.

Ha.

+

"If you break her heart," Lois threatens, catching Clark after Chloe leaves soon after the game. "I'll come back and break your legs,"

Ignoring her threat (which he takes very seriously — she may not be able to injure him physically, but one of these days she could be the reason he explodes), Clark pretends to look confused. "What do you mean, come back?"

"Apparently, the dean from MetU got a call from a very prominent benefactor with initials L.L." Lois says, walking along with him.

Clark tries to look clueless, but it's hard to when she stares him down like he's guilty. Which he is — but that's not the point.

"They did all they needed to do, and I will be starting as a freshman there, effective immediately," Lois says slowly, observing his expression carefully. "So, I am out of here."

"Oh wow," Clark says, trying to be convincing. "That's great,"

"Oh, please," Lois mutters. "Don't pretend you had nothing to do with this. Why would Lex Luthor involve himself in my education ?"

Clark smiles hesitantly, caught.

So what if he had cashed in a favour from Lex to get her admitted to the university she wanted to? It worked out for both of them, did it not ?

She leaves Smallville High, gets to go to college, and Clark regains some sense of peace in his personal life, which admittedly wasn't much to begin with — with a new meteor freak or some psychopaths, who just all turn out to be in Smallville — but it's about relative normalcy.

"Look, the important thing is you got in and you're leaving," he says matter-of-factly, and waits for Lois to insult him or thank him or a mix of both, insulting the town — anything.

But she remains quiet, studying him. Clark feels the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

He couldn't have…read this wrong ?

"Because…that's what you want?" Clark asks hesitantly, a surge of guilt flaring up, that he might have done something she did not want and god forbid, hurt her. "…Right?"

Lois still doesn't say anything, and Clark's slight guilt starts changing to low-level panic. He shouldn't have — he really crossed a boundary this time.

It's not like he disliked Lois; that was too strong a word. If anything, he did it for her — She was obviously upset about repeating the final year of high school and wanted to get out of Smallville badly, so he assumed it was okay, but of course, he shouldn't have assumed —

Lois laughs then, amused at his panic.

Clark can't help but wonder again if she really can listen to all his thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get all broken up about it. I can practically hear your brain cogs going crazy,"

Clark gives an uncertain smile, and she punches him on the arm.

"Seriously," Lois grinned. "You're too easy to make fun of. Besides, you know how much I have wanted to get out of here."

"Yeah," Clark murmurs, nodding. "Yeah," he repeats, more confident.

Exactly. He did a good thing.

Why doesn’t it feel like it?

Lois babbles on, telling him how the town was weird and how she looked forward to the normalcy of a city. Clark listens patiently. Smallville was weird, and she was talking to the strangest thing to come out of the town, not that she knew. It was understandable.

"But don't worry," Lois says, a challenging glint in her eye. "…I'll visit," she says with a strong emphasis, nose scrunching in the process.

A ghost of a teasing smile forms on her face as she expects Clark to quip back something.

He doesn’t.

It is then that he realises how close she is standing to him, but he doesn't move.

She seems to realise it too, her expression becoming unreadable. But it's like a game of chicken with whoever moving first being the loser.

Okay, then. Clark was not going to be the one who would lose. He narrows his eyes instead, trying to look skeptical, as much as he can. He never can keep a straight face for long with Lois, but he tries nonetheless.

"Is that a promise…" he asks, voice low. "… or a threat?"

He sees something flicker in her eyes, but as soon as it comes, it disappears. Pleased with his reply, Lois punches his arm, grinning.

You decide, the action seems to say.

“You’re the nice guy who let me live with him on the farm,” she says suddenly, making Clark blink in confusion.

“...What?” he asks smartly.

“You asked me what you were to me a few days back, didn’t you?” Lois says slowly. “I’m telling you now. You are the guy who somehow knew Chloe wasn’t dead, has a serious hero complex, and a strange mix of confident and insecure.”

Clark remains quiet.

“You’re also someone who apparently helped me get back to college, so you know, you’re not all that bad.”

Lois beams at him then, punching his arm again unaware of the effect of her words. “See you around,” she takes a step back and winks. “...Smallville,”

Watching her walk away doesn’t feel as great as Clark had imagined it would be.

Which was ridiculous.

They are both happy with her leaving, anyway.

They are.

He is.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

(Don't you want to ask me what I think of you, Lois?

A pause. A difficult smile.

Not really.

I think I know.)

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

Lois keeps in touch, weirdly enough.

Clark would have thought it was the end of the "Lois" chapter of his life, with her going back to the city, out of Smallville for good.

Like how it had been with Pete, his mind supplies.

But Lois doesn’t work like that, apparently.

They text.

It starts with her sending a picture of a pair of the thickest glasses Clark has ever seen with the caption Oh lookie here, it's you !

Clark doesn't even wear glasses.

- Yeah, but you should try it. Would do wonders for you.

Clark, to his defence, tries to ignore her useless texts.

But if Lois Lane had one superpower, it was to get on his nerves, and Clark Kent was not immune.

- Ha, ha. And here I thought someone would turn over a new leaf after being given a second chance at life.

-  Of course you would say something like this Geeky McGeek. Ugh.

It's just college, not some life-defining phase of your life, and if anyone tells you otherwise, they are wrong.

-  Oh how blessed must one be to get Lois's oh so holy advice?

-  Damn right you are blessed, Smallville.

And then they just spiral from there.

The worst of it is, he knows she tries to provoke a reaction out of him every time, and if he just didn't react and pretended to be suave, she would stop on her own.

Well. She might.

But Clark would never know. He could never resist typing back a snarky reply to her message or to her ridiculous emails.

A guilty pleasure, of sorts.

He knew he got a rise out of her as well, so it was … mutual.

It's actually fun sometimes, which is something he could never admit to a living soul because they would imply something else, and sometimes having fun is just that. Fun. Nothing else.

The idea is not completely far-fetched. They were friends…of sorts. Her physical absence and Clark being back in his bedroom instead of sleeping on the couch because of her was an added bonus.

-  So! Chloe's birthday ! What are you planning to get her ?

-  I'm still deciding.

- You wanna cash in and get her something together?

- …This is because you have no idea what to get her, do you?

- Nuh-uh! I have ideas, and I was trying to be considerate.
You may be her best friend and see her every day, but I'll have you know I know my cousin pretty well too !

- Well, if we cash in, I suppose our budget rises.

- Exactly

Clark laughs, understanding why she texted him after all.

- So…you're out of money. That’s what this is about.

- Oh shut up, Smallville. You try living alone and paying your bills.

- Maybe if you would take faster showers…

Sometimes, there are drunk texts with such outrageous spellings that Clark doesn't bother replying.

Well, he does but it's usually just a Please get out of there, Lois. And then Lois ends up calling him, and he has to convince her not to drink more and get back to her room before she gets herself in trouble.

Why is Clark the only one dealing with this anyway?

He had a feeling Chloe wasn't as lucky enough to get as many drunk calls he does from Lois.

"I'm going to hang up now Lois," Clark mumbles one night, dealing with another one of Lois's drunk calls from college.

Lois says something, voice unclear. "…the barn!"

"My barn?" he questions, voice groggy. "What about it?"

"Chloe's…party in your barn!"

"Uh, no. I have someone important coming to my house that day. It won't work out."

He heard some scuffles and a tight slap, which immediately had him sitting up in bed in concern. "Lois?!"

"…No, I told you not to touch me, didn't I? You thought I wouldn't hit you back? Asshole," he hears her snap, and Clark realises she was probably fighting with someone.

Someone who apparently had no sense of boundaries, if her spitting venom was any indication.

"Lois — seriously. Get back to your room. " Clark pleaded, concerned. Lois wouldn't say anything back, and he could hear muffled voices arguing. "…Lois?" he asks again, louder, but was met with no response except for a string of curses by an unknown voice, and Lois yelling back at them.

He hears the sounds of glass breaking, and that’s Clark’s cue.

Without another thought, he super-speeds to Metropolis.

Only Lois would have him do this in the middle of the night.

"What was that 'whoosh' sound?" Clark hears Lois ask after an impossibly long time.

Clark stops to a halt, right outside the campus. He stares blankly at his phone. He had thought she had hung up.  “...Are you there?”

"Oh…Clark? Are you still there? Damn it, I thought I ended the call." Lois finally speaks.

"Where are you?!" Clark hisses, worried out of his mind.

"I am in my room, farm boy. Relax."

"You called me. And then all I hear is you cursing out someone and sounds of someone getting slapped, and glass breaking and—"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, alright? I didn't— "

"You think sorry cuts it?!" Clark explodes, patience running thin. "Am I a joke to you, Lois? Oh, let's call Clark in the middle of the night and have him up and about from his bed and have him worry and then be unresponsive, huh? Come on, even for you, this is too much, isn't it?!"

He was moments away from coming into campus and knocking out everyone near her because Lois had to go and get him all worried and she — she —

She is….silent?

"…Lois?" Clark asks, forcing his voice to be calmer. What if she wasn't alright after all ?

He hears a sigh. "I remembered to ask about the barn, right now that's all. The other stuff you heard, I didn't ask for it. Sorry. Bye, now."

Her voice is so stiff and un-Lois, Clark just stands stunned. She hangs up then, much to Clark's dismay, before he can utter another word.

So there is Clark outside Metropolis University, in a different city, in his pajamas, his mind in a flurry, still recovering from the shift of sleeping in the comfort of his own room to...here.

He kicks a nearby stone in frustration. Then, because he isn't normal — no, because why should Clark have a peaceful time — he has to super-speed and stop said rock before it hits an innocent dog minding its own business.

Sulking, he super-speeds back home, a hollow feeling in his gut.

He wonders in the morning if that was perhaps their first actual fight.

+

When he sees Lois again, Clark is unsure of how he should speak to her. Were they in a …fight?

Lois hadn't texted or called since that last call, making Clark uneasy since then.

It's okay, he thinks. He can pretend it's all normal, and they can go back to …whatever kind of friendship they have if they don't talk about it. Clark's been avoiding hard conversations all his life.

She drives a car ahead of his barn.

"Hey Lois," Clark starts, immediately wincing at his dry voice. "What, uh, are you doing here?"

His hands feel heavy, and Clark suddenly thinks that his hands being still and huge is what’s making the whole situation worse.

He places his hand in his jacket, giving a tentative smile. "Why aren't you in school?"

Lois barely glances at him as she gets out of her car and opens the door to the backseat, taking out a box that looks suspiciously like decoration materials.

"We're having a surprise party for Chloe's 18th birthday in your barn…remember?" Lois says, raising her eyebrows.

…?

"…No?” Clark says slowly. “I remember telling you we couldn't have it here."

Lois looks at him quizically and he realises with impending doom, that she probably didn't listen to him say no when she had called him before— before their…altercation. Well. Pseudo-altercation. If it were a fight, they wouldn’t be talking now...right?

She shoves the box of decorations in his hand, shrugging. "Too late now! Everyone's already been invited, and you really don't want it getting back to Chloe that you rained on her shindig," she gets out another box — do they even need that many to decorate the barn? — and it ends up in his hands again.

"That would hurt her feelings," Lois says matter-of-factly, taking out yet another box. "Then I would have to hurt you," she muses, seeming far too pleased about that prospect.

…?

"What? Listen Lois, I don't wanna—"

"Would you help me out with these ?" she asks brazenly, moving around Clark as if his stature isn't getting in her way. "I have to get the wheels back to my dad before he notices they are missing," she motions towards her car.

Clark looks at her, dismayed.

"…What?"

"Lois," Clark starts, pushing down the usual surge of irritation. He can do this. "Lois," he repeats, his jaw slackened.

"We can't do this tonight, the guy from Princeton's coming," he says slowly, hoping she understands how important that is to him. "Besides, my parents are out of town."

Lois takes in the information and nods slowly. "Oh.”

For a moment, she gives him a tight smile and Clark thinks they might not be completely back to normal as he thought he was. But the moment is gone as fast he as noticed it, and he wonders if he really did see that expression or it was his internal guilt manifesting somehow.

(Which was ridiculous — why was he guilty ?)

She shurgs —which looks forced to Clark. “Relax, Smallville. It's just going to be a couple of people, standing around a table, singing Happy Birthday."

He doesn't say anything.

"Mr. Ivy League won't even know we're here! Trust me," she reassures, turning her back on him, already surfing through the box she is carrying.

Clark feels anything but reassured.

But what can he do? It's Lois. Even on a good day, he doubts he would be able to change her mind. He thinks a part of him had already accepted that this party would happen in a barn when she had first texted him about Chloe's birthday.

The other part of him, he finds, is strangely relieved that bygones seem to be bygones. Lois Lane is not taking no for an answer and getting her way one way or another —that's normal, bossing around innocents along the way.

Clark sighs and then follows Lois , listening to all her instructions and snarking back as and when possible.

Oh well.

+

- Meet at the torch club room? I told Chloe to come here too so we could give her the gift before I leave.

+

"Where's Chloe?" Clark asks, confused, as he walks into the room to find only Lois.

He waits for an answer, curious as Lois shifts on her feet awkwardly. "She will come, you know…in a few minutes."

Her eyes go to the bright blue wrapping of the gift in his hand, wrapped haphazardly, and Clark— to his surprise— receives no insulting comment on its state.

Lois Lane… not taking the opportunity to make fun of him?

"Are you okay?" he asks bluntly, alarming worry creeping in. The previous evening had been a terror, with Lois having just gone through a witch possession — ridiculous even by Smallville standards — maybe it had messed with her head ? Maybe she wasn't back to normal just yet —

"Stop thinking," she orders. Clark blinks.

She mumbles under her breath, and by what Clark can make out, it’s nothing too flattering about herself.

"Ugh, this is not me!" she bursts, surprising Clark. "I am sorry, okay? I am sorry that I ruined your Princeton chances. You were right ! I shouldn't have forced it upon you, but in my defence, I really thought you agreed on the call that day! And then you say No, I didn't? with that stupid expression, and that was super last-minute Smallville!" she says in a rush, walking around the room, hands all but flailing around.

"Well, Lois—"

"Talking about the other day!" she interrupts, not looking him in the eye. "You know with the call and everything— See," Lois shakes her head.

"Lois—"

"I was being kind of terrible, I can admit that, you know. But I didn't mean for that to happen! I was going back to my dorm and you know remembered to ask about the barn— oh my god now that I think about it maybe you did say no but I didn't hear because this random asshat followed me back and wanted to cop a feel and wouldn't let go so I had to throw in a few punches and it was all fine at the end, but I didn't think you'd get that worried, well maybe I forgot that I had called you and —"

"I'm just glad you're okay, Lois—"

"And I don't drunk call you that many times, do I? Okay, fine — I might have drunk called you more than once, but I have had good reasons for it!" She pauses, wincing. " Good might be debatable, but they are valid reasons — this one time I didn't mean to ! But you were texting and your name popped first and I was, well, tipsy — I don't get drunk— and so it just happened and the other time someone took my phone and I only remembered your number for some really weird reason — "

"Can you take a breath, please?" Clark interrupts again, but this time he stops her pacing by fixing his hands on her shoulders. "Seriously," he breathes, forcing her to look at him.

Lois looks at him, expression dynamic and explosive, her eyes darting around. She takes a deep breath.

"I really am sorry about Princeton," she repeats, softly. "Can it… still be salvageable? You could try blaming it on me ? I could go to the guy and explain to him everything and how you were coerced, and it doesn't reflect on your merit whatsoever."

This is too weird, Clark thinks, wanting to run away from Lois in fear. He would much, much rather prefer she glare at him, push him around, order him, or insult him.

"And how exactly would you explain witch possession?" Clark asks, slightly amused at the hypothetical scenario. Lois doesn't reply, undoubtedly thinking of ways to sweet-talk that into some semblance of a normal conversation.

"I may have overreacted that day, too," Clark continues carefully, not wanting to set her off into another rambling session. "So for what it's worth, I'm sorry as well. Besides, I never asked the most important thing,"

Lois raises an eyebrow.

"Were you okay? After all that?”

“Uh,” she says blankly. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Did you then...” Clark says after a beat of silence, “beat...the guy?"

Lois simply blinks at him for a few seconds, as if still processing what he was saying.

"It's a fair question," Clark protests, getting embarrassed.

She breaks into a small laugh, a wide smile making on her face.

It's almost dazzling, Clark realises.

"Of course I did. I am an army brat, you know? He should've known better." Lois grins. "And, I have a pretty mean left hook. He never saw it coming."

"Okay," Clark smiles, feeling better.

"Okay," Lois repeats, tiptoeing on her feet. "So...we're good?"

"Sure,"

"Okay," Lois looks at Chloe's gift again, and Clark can practically hear the insult that must be on the tip of her tongue.

"You want to talk about my present wrapping skills, don't you?"

Lois smiles tightly. "I am going to let it slide, as an apology. Plus, as a thank you for breaking us out of the evil witch possession. Only in Smallville is this considered normal," she murmurs the last part.

“Well, I think it’s pretty neat,”

“The gift wrapping?” Lois plasters a fake smile. “Okay.”

Clark grins knowingly. "This must be killing you, huh? Not able to tease me when the bait is hanging right in front of you,"

"Yep," Lois says simply, the strained smile frozen on her face. "It absolutely is,"

Clark finds he doesn't get irritated —  or at all — when Chloe later insults his gift wrapping and Lois laughs loud at his expense, gleefully.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

And when it's the first time dealing with the grief of losing the one he loves — someone who was trying to be better, someone who understood his loneliness, someone who Clark had also blamed unfairly — the rage and the white pain, he is unable to think.

"Clark, no !"

It would be so easy —too easy— to take a life, and wouldn't Clark be justified ? All Alicia had wanted was a chance. And this guy, this guy —? Clark had never even known Tim. None of them had known — who was he to take her life ? Tim's face changes color, with his hand around his throat , but Clark could not find it in himself to care.

"Clark, stop. Don't do this —"

Why must people like him, so driven by hate, take lives away like they don't matter? Wouldn't the world be better off without —

"Let him go!"

Distantly, he feels a pair of hands thrown around him, trying to pull him back.

Like it would ever work on someone like him.

On a freak like Clark Kent.

Alicia had still loved him, despite it all.

"Please, Clark," It's in his ear, and there's something about the voice this time, a different tone, a lilt, a certain belief which gets to him — clears past the white hot rage, clears past the pain, and his mind clears momentarily.

He staggers back, hands leaving Tim's neck, making the boy slump down, unconscious.

It's Lois he realises, the one with the hands around him, breathing heavily, clearly terrified — of him, he thinks darkly — but she doesn't let go. Clark clenches and unclenches his hand, shaking. It takes all the willpower he has ever possessed to stay still at the moment, to not finish what he had started.

Her hands unwrap from his shoulders, and Clark slowly looks at her, devastated and broken.

He can't forget, he can't move, he can’t remember how to. He isn't even sure he can see clearly.

His ears don’t stop ringing.

Lois embraces him again, her palm on the back of his head.

"It's going to be okay," she says slowly. "I promise, it's going to be okay."

Clark doesn't move, his hands unmoving, but sinks his head, her words washing into his skin.

He doesn't believe Lois.

It's never going to be okay.

This will haunt him forever. He'll never be able to trust himself, never be able to love again. The one person who could who could see past him being different isn’t there anymore.

He was going to be alone for the rest of his life.

And wasn’t Alicia just alone, too? She didn’t deserve this. She didn't deserve to go out like that.

But just for that one moment, Clark wants to believe Lois so badly. He wants to be okay.

So he shuts his eyes, letting Lois hold him. She whispers words to him softly, as his heart crumbles.

+

It does get better, and he hates that it does.

He hates the unfairness of it all, of the world still spinning, of how the loss of a life doesn't seem to matter.

The thought of Alicia fills him with sorrow each time, so he avoids the topic altogether.

Coming into terms with how their relationship was a space he did not want to enter, because he would spiral negatively. He doesn’t want to think negatively of Alicia. It’s too soon.

But it does get easier to breathe, and his ears stop ringing. Clark tries to make peace with the guilt that comes along with it. He will have to live with this, and if a chip of his heart has been broken forever, then so be it.

The grief creeps up suddenly on certain days, but even then, he thinks he can make it through the day. His parents help, Chloe seems to get much more understanding since then, and Lois helps, in a way.

She doesn't bring that day up ever again, nor does Clark.

She checks up on him sometimes, calling him to update him with a story at her dorm, and it was fine but then it’s weird that she talks in shells around him till Clark breaks one day and insults her for something ridiculous just to get a rise out of her, to which she calls him a boring halibut like farm boy and then rambles about being called to the disciplinary committee again — she's been called two times ?!

Before Clark realises it, they're back to their usual dynamic.

He would be okay.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

The thing with Lois, though, their relationship isn’t linear. There are some times when Clark thinks he knows her quite well, and times when she perplexes him completely.

Their calls and texts have reduced slowly, not that Clark minds.

It’s just...reduced.

Which is fine, because he’s been busy preparing for his college admissions , being offered a full football scholarship to MetU. He’s plenty busy.

And yet, he can’t keep shaking off being upset that he didn’t hear it from her.

It would have been a little better if he had heard it from Chloe, but he heard it from gossip.

Clark didn’t even believe it at first. Lois Lane — responsible for paralyzing someone, almost murder. The thought was almost laughable. For all of her flaws, he couldn’t think of her hurting someone to that extent.

If he were to be truly honest, he knew Lois was going to get in serious trouble one of these days. She never could just sit still and listen. Her nature wouldn’t allow her to.

But this was …weird.

Clark was too distracted to ask her about it, with Geoff Johns — the Geoff Johns, the bulldog’s all-time leading rusher ! — coming to town to pick up Clark, specifically, and give him a tour of MetU, and Clark can't help but feel giddy at the prospect of having a college life as a football player who is loved and admired by his peers. High school has never been like that, but college could change everything.

And maybe he’s upset Lois didn’t tell him.

Whatever.

He isn’t going to ask until she tells him either.

She would have to tell him herself, else he isn't even going to acknowledge this. 

+

He finds Lois talking to Chloe the very same day, tones hushed — So she had managed to get bailed out, it seemed. — just before he left for Metropolis with Geoff, and feels a pit of guilt form at her worried expression.

"..and we'll figure this thing out?" he hears Chloe, trying to be reassuring.

"Lois," Clark interrupts gently, unable to stay out of it. His will power is no good sometimes. "I heard what happened,"

Lois gives him a strained smile. "I see news travels fast, huh?"

Clark shrugs helplessly. "The guy you put in the hospital — Coop? That's Geoff's roommate," he points.

Lois and Chloe peer back, following his gaze.

"Clark," Lois sighs. "I swear to god, all I did was knock the wind out of him. I couldn't have paralyzed him!"

"You were drinking though...right?" Clark asks, curious. He doesn't quite mean to sound accusatory, but he does apparently, if Chloe's unbelievable look at him is any indication.

He can almost hear Chloe hissing at him from her glare.

What?

Clark was just asking.

And it is the truth — Lois was drinking, and she drinks often, which doesn't really work in favour in a situation like this. He wasn't accusing her, he was just saying it aloud. Lois gets to speak her mind whenever, and Clark doesn't ?

Lois, to her credit, doesn't take it to heart. "Those days are over," she shakes her head. "No more alcohol. And that includes cough syrup and rum cakes,"

Clark wants to ask what he can do to help, but the bell rings loudly then, making Lois wince harshly. “I'm still recovering...” she mutters and excuses herself after that to get some aspirin.

Clark gets further distracted then, with Geoff calling him and Chloe acting weirdly cryptic (What was up with her these days ?) and leaves Lois to her problems. She clearly didn't want to talk to him about it further, and maybe he was blinded by the prospect of being a star player in a good college and being a normal human student.

Imagine that. Clark Kent, a good football player, loves the sport he excels in, studying in a good college, making his parents proud.

Lois can handle herself, as she likes to proclaim. 

Besides, Clark does believe she can do so very well.

+

The welcoming he gets at MetU is a bit …much.

Clark isn't one to complain, but a special cheerleading routine, his name being announced as he enters the field, the coach and team welcoming him and giving him the jersey— all to "convince" him to join MetU — may or may not have gone over to this head.

Geoff leaves him in the girls' sorority house — Is having him there even allowed ?—  and Clark is basically short-circuited.

What exactly…is he supposed to do?

He is making as many excuses as he can with the two girls who seem to have it out for him in their room, when a thud from the closet captures their attention.

Suspicious, Clark scans the closet and can see someone sneaking around inside.

He gets up to check it out, internally relieved to have found a distraction — thank you suspicious stranger — and he opens the closet.

To find Lois Lane signing at him desperately to keep it quiet.

...?

What on earth is she doing here ?

He closes the closet immediately, as if possessed, not wasting a second. He turns to the girls, looking at him oddly. He gives them the brightest smile he can manage.

"Some uh…sweaters fell…down?" his voice jumps an octave.

They nod, shrugging. "Could I —" Clark tries to cough. "…get something to drink?"

He hears Lois snicker from the closet and wants to strangle her for putting him in this situation. One of the girls leaves, and he's left there staring at the other one, awkward.

"And…maybe something to eat…?" he squeaks, immediately wincing. He clears his throat, trying for a brilliant, winning smile.

He hears Lois snicker again, and it’s as if she wants to get caught. He desperately hopes that it's only he who can hear her with his enhanced hearing.

The girl tilts her head, bemused, but obliges, leaving the room.

Clark immediately opens the closet, letting Lois out.

"What are you doing here?!" he bursts, stunned.

"This is my college ?" Lois says, unbelievably, as if Clark were being unreasonable. It takes all for him not to shake her thoroughly.

She flips through the pages of what looks like a diary. "What are you doing here?" she asks back, eyebrow raised. "Or…well, I guess I know," she says dryly, eyes narrowed. "Didn't think you'd be the type, Smallville."

His face burns, and he tries to ignore her words. He isn’t going to explain when he got here...in a comparatively normal way. "This is not your dorm!"

"Technicalities," she brushes him off, waving her hands. "I wanted to ask Coop's girlfriend if there were other people he was involved with, someone who’d actually want to hurt him. But she wasn't here, so I thought I'd take a look around, you know? It is her dorm,"

"Lois," Clark sighs."You understand how bad this would look for you if you got caught, which you almost did! Why don't you just sit it out, and —"

"Sit it out and what? Go to trial and then jail?" Lois snaps, irritated. "Clark, I didn't do this," she says fiercely, eyes hard. "I am not — I can not be the reason that happened to Coop, and I will get to the bottom of this."

Clark is taken aback by her outburst, at how serious Lois is. "I don't care if you don't believe me, because I know Chloe does, and that's enough for me,"

He pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing. "Lois, I—" he falters. "Of course, I believe you, that's not what I meant,"

Lois scoffs. "Right," she says dryly. "Sure you do,"

This. This is why he can't deal with Lois. She refuses to listen, doesn't think of other perspectives, his perspective, and either makes a joke, snaps at him, or resorts to sarcasm.

It's why being with Lois gets to be such a challenge sometimes.

Just when Clark thinks they are making progress with their interactions and that they might understand each other, they go right back to square one.

One step forward, then three steps back.

"I do," he repeats softly, earnestly, and Lois just gives him a tight-lipped look, not acknowledging his words.

"Oh!" Lois says, surprised, waving the diary in front of him. “Look at this — Coop is meeting up with a newspaper reporter and being super-secretive. It has something to do with the football team, but I don't know what it is."

"You said his roommate was Geoff, right ? That popular, genius football player ? Did you know he was in the bar with Coop that night when he challenged me to a drink-off?" Lois says, suddenly excited, while Clark processes the revelation.

He did not know that.

Nor does he want to believe it. Geoff had been nothing but kind and accepting to him !

At that moment, Clark hears the girls coming back, and he quickly ushers Lois back into the closet. "Not here again!" Lois groans as Clark pushes her shoulders.

"Hide, Lois." Clark hisses, tired. "And stop snickering so much from inside, they'll hear you!"

The last thing Clark sees as he closes the closet is Lois rolling her eyes and making a face at him, which he mirrors.

Ugh.

Ugh.

+

Clark shouldn’t have been petty in the first place.

He could have texted her first, and they could have investigated this together. He shouldn’t have left her alone.

He should have been more aware, Clark thinks as he speeds to Geoff's location, guilt wracking him from within. And now Lois was missing, and he desperately hoped he didn't reach her too late.

Clark knew now that Geoff had been the real culprit. If Lois had pretended to be clueless, she could have been fine. But frankly it was stupid of Clark to expect she would sit peacefully. And fine, maybe Clark wouldn’t even have figured it out if Lois hadn’t planted the seed of doubt in his mind.

Geoff had killed Coop because he knew about him, and he wouldn't let Lois leave now that she had an idea he had something to do with it.

Please, please, please —

He finds Geoff getting inside his car, looking around uncomfortably when he reaches. Clark doesn't think twice before grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him out of the car through the window, enraged. Geoff tries to fight back, to paralyse him maybe, but Clark simply pushes him back harshly against the front of the car.

"Why isn't it working…?" Geoff yelps, scared.

"Tell me where she is!" Clark snaps, not wanting to listen to anything else out of him.

"It was never supposed to be like this, Clark ! I swear —"

"Where is she?!"

Geoff shook his head, still trying to convince Clark of his side. "I never even used it in high school, but in college, I had to win so bad, I couldn't stop !" he yells, crazed.

Clark tried taking a deep breath. It was taking all his willpower not to do something he would regret and knock him out. Oddly, it’s Lois’s own words he remembers which makes him think rationally. Brute force was not going to work in this situation.

"Look—" he says, with a sense of urgency. "You have to tell me where she is. You don't want to murder another person."

"Coop was gonna tell the world I was a freak!" Geoff bursts, eyes wide in paranoia. "I couldn't let him do that!"

"I'm asking about Lois," Clark says through gritted teeth. "Tell me where she is. Please."

+

He eventually finds her in the sewers, fully paralyzed on the ground, submerged in water.

"Lois? Lois." Clark swoops her up in his arms out of the water in one swift motion, cradling her head as she lies limp.

Her eyes are the only part of her unaffected, it seems. They dart towards him in apprehension and fear, but Clark can’t make out clearly in the darkness.

"Hey," Clark chokes out, terrified. "I am sorry I didn't take this seriously at first, alright? I really am,"

When Lois doesn't answer, his panic turns almost hysterical. "Can you hear me? Lois?" he asks weakly, a lump forming in his throat.

She whispers his name, barely audible, but it's a positive sign of consciousness, and Clark will take what he can get. He pulls her closer, the sound of her heartbeat anchoring him in the present.

"Okay," he says, trying to convince himself more than her. "It's going to be okay," he mumbles, getting a sense of deja vu, repeating the same words to her.

"We're going to be okay, I promise."

+

Clark’s football ambitions die after Geoff gets arrested. He is different, just like Geoff. In fact, his powers are worse because at least Geoff is a human who got meter-infected.

Clark was an alien.

Definitely worse.

He tries to imagine a life where he has to lie even more than he does now, and the glamour of being the star quarterback in college football seems lacklustre. Besides, it's not fair for the other players on the field with Clark playing.

A dark part of him worries he’ll turn out like Geoff anyway, keeping his secret for so long and just snapping when he gets caught. And he’ll hurt someone and won’t feel remorse, or worse, believe it as the only option anyway. But he tries to bury it inside.

Football is a fixation Clark has had for so long; it feels surreal to willingly give up the chance when it’s so close to his hand.

But that’s maybe where the problem was. It was a fixation. A way for him to prove his father wrong. Something which distracted him from what was actually important, from a dire situation.

In a way, Clark’s fixation with football reminds him of Lana, of his stubborn belief that they would end up together.

And they don’t even talk these days.

There might be a time when he doesn’t feel much remorse for giving up the sport, either.

Maybe.

+

"Knock, knock?" Clark hears a familiar voice, and his face splits into a wide smile, the switch in his mood instantaneous.

There was Lois, hands in her pockets, fidgeting.

He wants to say so much, ask so many questions.

I am so glad you’re okay. Are you feeling all good now? Any after effects ?

Did you get all your scans done properly ?

Are you really okay?

Clark settles on something much simpler. "Who would've thought I'd be relieved to hear your voice?" he teases, grinning.

She nods. "I just wanted to say thank you," Lois says bashfully. "I don't know how you did it, but if it weren't for you, I'd be at the bottom of the Mississippi right about now…so thanks."

Clark brushes it off. "I'm just glad you're okay. That was a scary ordeal to go through."

Lois shrugs, as if to say Well, what can you do?

And just because Clark can’t stop himself — “You’re really okay, right?”

She rolls her eyes. Yes, goodness Clark.

"So," Clark says, still smiling. "You'll be going back to school soon?"

Which she is not, apparently. The disciplinary committee had evidently had enough of Lois Lane, and expelled her from her college on grounds of her underage drinking.

Clark finds this exceedingly hilarious, though. He chooses not to voice out his amusement, and to his credit he doesn’t even make fun.

Not that much fun.

He slips a “Why am I not surprised ?” to which Lois gives him an unimpressed look.

"It's fine," Lois shrugs. "I don't think college is a place where I will be able to learn things that are actually valuable to me. I think I am going to get some learning done only out in the real world,"

"Is that so ?" Clark muses thoughtfully.

Truth to be told, Clark could agree with that.

Lois's nature never seemed like the type to learn from sitting in a school environment.

"So you're going back to the barracks?"

"Nope," Lois smiles nervously. "The general is trying out the "tough love" approach — as if he has shown any other type of love — and won't take me back, so I guess…I will be here,"

Clark has a bad feeling about where it's heading. It's an all too familiar feeling, particularly unique to Lois when she is moments away from convincing him to do something he absolutely doesn't want to.

"So you are going to stay with Chloe…yes?" he asks hesitantly.

Lois shifts on her feet. "They've got a tiny one-bedroom apartment, I can't do that to them, you know?"

Clark stares at her, confused.

"It's going to be fine," she says with strong emphasis on fine, which sounds anything but fine. "I'm just gonna check into a motel! And when the money runs out, I can always sleep in my car. The backseat's not too bad if you bend your knees and avoid the drive train ."

Great, Lois was rambling again.

"Lois—"

"And then!" Lois interrupts, pacing around with excessive hand movements. "You know, if I have to sell my car...? That's okay too…"

....?

"I have always dreamed of being a hobo, riding the rails, cooking beans over roadside fires. Experiencing this beautiful thing called life, you know?!"

Clark stares at her, eyebrows raised, as she goes on her tiptoes and back down, awkwardly.

"If you want," Clark is going to regret this. "I guess…"

He mentally bids goodbye to his shower time, his bedroom, his peace, his privacy, his wardrobe. (She hasn’t even returned the shirts she stole from the first time around.)

Clark's back to being tormented by Lois yet again.

"You could stay with us..." he offers, like the gracious man his parents raised him to be.

"You're a lifesaver," Lois breathes, eyes sparkling, as if she didn't just manipulate him into agreeing with her. For a moment, he thinks she might jump to hug him, but she stops at the last second, settling on clumsily patting his arm once.

As if that’s less weird, but Clark lets it slide.

"God, am I in need of a hot shower! See you!" she heads towards the stairs of the barn, feet quick.

Clark closes his eyes, staying still, wondering where exactly he went wrong in his life.

"Keep it under 15 minutes, please…?" he calls out, tired.

"Half-hour, tops! Don't worry, Smallville!" she yells back, as Lois rushes down to get to the house.

Oh well.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

If there's one thing Lois has done right since moving in, it might be the addition of the their new dog Shelby to the Kent family.

He still catches Lois calling him Clarkie often — and he thinks she does it on purpose only when he's around so that Clark hears her and gets mad, and it works every time — but Shelby is a perfect companion.

Lois is also wonderfully allergic to Shelby, so when Clark has to avoid her, he arms himself with Shelby around him, and the plan works perfectly.

Except Shelby seems to adore Lois, often following her from room to room, tail wagging whenever she's nearby, seeking her attention more than anyone else's.

Lois.

He prefers Lois over Clark.

No one takes his predicament seriously; his mother even laughs about it. "Well, I like Lois quite a lot, myself! So I understand Shelby."

That's not the point, Mom. His mother might not have the best person to voice this out to, considering she also adored Lois. Shelby, he could understand — the poor soul was misguided, but his mother 

"She hit you with her car, Shelby!" he complains once to the dog, as he does his chores. Lois is nearby at the moment and mumbles a curse against him, which again, he knew she meant for Clark to hear.

"I've apologised enough!" she protests louder. "And he turned out okay, didn't he? In fact, one might say if I hadn't found him, he might be in a worse place."

Clark stares at her, dumbfounded. "Are you seriously trying to defend your hitting Shelby?"

Lois cringes, regretting her choice of words. "I'm more careful when I drive these days," she mumbles sourly.

"See, Shelby?" Clark tries to reason. "You don't wanna—" But Shelby jumps towards Lois, nudging her in concern, as if he was trying to shield her from Clark.

"No, don't come to me," Lois groans. "My allergies will act up —” A sneeze.  “Oh come on !"

She doesn't even like him.

Or even if she does it’s no where near how much Clark loves Shelby.

But this is how life at Kent farm goes these days. Shelby remains misguided, Clark feels betrayed that he won't be chosen in favour of Lois. She still sneezes, eyes watering often due to Shelby.

“Oh, seriously, Shelby, go to Clark!" she exclaims, sneezing again, but Shelby is too taken by her, tail wagging that Clark finally gives in and pulls Shelby away alluring him with treats, feeling slightly bad for Lois.

Not that much, though.

+

"So, how is life with your tenant?" Chloe asks once, having joined the Kents for dinner. Lois surprisingly wasn't home — I'm going to go look for a job and might be late, so don't wait up for me! — which for Clark meant he got peace for one night.

"Lois?" Clark scoffs.

"Well," Boy is he glad she asked. "She re-recorded our answering machine…uses all the hot water, takes ages in the shower — no Chloe, that's not normal — oh and she took over my bedroom," he smiles, strained. “So...just the usual.”

Chloe purses her lip, trying not to laugh. "Such trying times for you, I bet."

Exactly.

Clark sighs dramatically. "You have no idea, it's —" He feels weirdly guilty then, like he's doing something wrong speaking against Lois, talking behind her back when she's not here to bicker with him. Which is weird because it’s not as if he hasn’t done this before...?

"It's kind of hard to be myself with her around," he settles on.

Clark isn't a fan of getting up at 3 am to do chores with his abilities, but he has to, so as not to make Lois suspicious.

Jonathan Kent makes a noise then, and Clark looks at him curiously. The man doesn't meet Clark's eyes and looks at Martha with a knowing look. That's when Clark realises his parents are also trying not to laugh.

"What?" he asks, defensive.

His father merely raises an eyebrow. "You are the one who invited her as our guest, Clark."

Well, he had to...?

"That's because I was manipulated!"

"Manipulated, he says," Martha repeats, amused. "Were you manipulated the first time, too ?"

Clark can't believe it. He isn't even sure what point they're trying to make.

"I like Lois," his mother continues, and Clark doesn’t know how many times he’s heard her say this.

"I think she brings a certain uniqueness to our house which I miss dearly when she's away." To make it worse, his father makes a noise of agreement.

The uniqueness being her inane ability to annoy Clark to death?

"But at least you got Shelby right?" Chloe interrupts before he protests any further.

Well.

"True," Clark agrees begrudgingly, a hidden smile blooming behind his frown.

Shelby is the best.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

Clark finds it fairly simple to read Lois sometimes.

In many ways, she is similar to Chloe, fearless in showing her emotions, honest, and direct.

...Unable to hide things and be nonchalant.

( Not really... She can be a smooth liar when she wants to be. She is very convincing, Clark. I’m not sure what you’re talking about.

We’ll have to agree to disagree on that, Chloe. )

Because when Lois Lane starts cooking breakfast and serving the same to the Kents with a bright smile plastered on her face, Clark thinks it's pretty obvious she's guilty about something or she wants something.

"Hope you guys are hungry, because there are plenty more where these came from !" she chirps, a bit too cheerfully, placing a plate of…alleged pancakes on the table.

Clark stares at it wearily, skeptical. Jonathan clears his throat, telling Lois she didn’t have to, not at all — but Lois insists.

"At least let me help. I should make some eggs," Martha offers, but Lois hurriedly sits her down, talking about how grateful she is for them to provide their home to her and how this is the "least she could do".

Martha looks at Clark, slightly suspicious, as if he has something to do with this bizarre version of Lois.

"Yeah, well, I'm not that hungry, so I'm going to have some OJ," Clark motions to get up, but Lois rushes to him and sits him down as well.

"Come on!" Lois insists, voice jumping a pitch. "Breakfast's the most important meal of the day!"

…?

If she doesn't stop smiling so unnervingly, Clark thinks her face might get stuck. He shudders at the thought.

He narrows his eyes at her, and in her nervousness, she squeaks out a "Bacon?" and removes the lid of the vessel.

Everyone stares in silence.

"….That's …bacon?"

"Well," Lois clears her throat. "Fine. I am not going to make it to the Cordon Bleu, but I thought it would be better than helping out at the farm!"

Jonathan nods hastily in agreement, which Clark finds slightly funny.

"…Maybe ironing?" Lois asks, trying every last option.

"Lois, what's going on?" Clark asks pointedly, a teasing smirk forming on his face. She must be desperate if she's going to such measures.

She flashes him an irritated look, and there's his Lois. "You make us breakfast, you're doing chores…" his lips curl into a full-fledged grin. "You want something,"

Lois tries not to look caught, but Clark isn’t fooled. "No…?" she says, trying to scoff. "It's called being nice,"

"Well, if you were any nicer, we'd all starve." Clark snarks.

"Clark!" Martha admonishes, looking at Lois apologetically.

Clark merely raises an eyebrow, as if daring Lois to lie further. She sighs, giving up, and sits in the chair around the table.

"He's…right, Mrs.Kent…"

See?

Clark knew Lois.

A little too well, his mind supplies, but he ignores that.

+

Lucy Lane is so vastly different from Lois, it's hard to believe they could be siblings. What's more odd is how jumpy Lois gets, panicking at the smallest interactions — No, I'm not hitting on her, Lois! — snapping at Clark even more often, when Lucy seemed so sweet.

"Are you not happy to see your sister?" Clark had asked her bluntly, not understanding her behaviour. Clark doesn't have siblings, but if he did and they came to visit him, he would be elated.

Lois looks at him like he's crazy. "Of course, I am. There's a thing with sisters, okay ? You can love them…without ever liking them, you know?"

No, Clark doesn't know. It sounds incredulous to even hear it aloud.

"You don't…" Clark pauses, trying to sound he's more understanding than he feels. "…like your own sister?"

Lois gives him a weary look, her face overcome by an emotion Clark can't figure out, which bothers him. “It’s not about me, it’s about her.”

She tells him about their family dynamics, with the chain of command, and with every word she says, Clark feels a growing sense of sadness.

It sounded pretty awful.

"…I reported to him, "

"...and Lucy reported to you?"

There's an uncomfortable silence as Lois pauses, nodding.

For someone who speaks her mind directly very often, there are these times when Lois goes suddenly silent, deep in thought, and unreadable. Clark imagines she debates on what she should speak next, choosing her words carefully.

"I had to make sure she had three square meals, got to school, did her homework, and whatnot. Takes sibling rivalry to a whole new level."

That's...not sibling rivalry, Clark thinks grimly. "You became her mother," he says not unkindly.

"She despised that," Lois laughs, derisive. "And I wasn't a very good one either. One of my golden advice? 'Don't kiss a boy, or you'll get pregnant," she laughs again, but Clark doesn't find it as funny as she does.

"Thus her boarding school, I assume?"

Lois blinks at him and gives him a complicated smile. It's not the first time Clark's seen that expression on someone. Lex looks at him like that often, and he has a feeling she had the same message.Oh…you don't get it, do you, Clark? You’ve never imagined a family unlike yours.

"Unlike your family, there's no discussion. When the general gives an order, you're expected to carry it out."

Clark bites his lips, and he tries to imagine a much younger Lois trying to keep tabs on an even younger Lucy, both missing their mother and trying to cope with their father’s military leaves.

"That sounds really harsh, Lois," he says quietly.

"I love her, and she definitely deserves it, I could not— you have seen first hand how fantastic my academic record has been — but…she definitely got the better end of the deal," Lois mutters, looking away.

Clark frowns.

"I guess, there's a part of me that's been jealous that she got out and I didn't," Lois whispers, still not looking at him, voice almost shaky.

Clark distantly wonders if he should try hugging her; he didn't mean for her to get as upset about it as she is.

Lois blinks suddenly, as if she read his mind and got jarred back to reality. She furrows her eyebrows at Clark and shrugs exaggeratedly, hands moving around too much.

"I uh — got a job at the Talon by the way," she says, clearing her throat, as a way to end the previous conversation. "So I should get going. I hear your mother is strict, huh? I wouldn't want to be late."

She turns to leave without waiting for a reply.

"…You do know she likes you a lot, Lois?" Clark calls out a beat later, when she's already outside the barn.

It's barely audible, but Clark hears a faint, amused laugh from her, and feels lighter.

+

Clark figures that after everything that happened, Lucy being involved in trying to con them, right after the heart-to-heart conversation Lois had about Lucy earlier, and disappearing to who knows where, Lois must be taking it pretty hard.

He gave her space because he knew he couldn’t understand her feelings in this situation.

But his parents are getting concerned, Shelby sulks in the corner of the house, even Chloe tells him Lois has been MIA on her front which takes unusual to an entirely different level. Clark takes it upon himself to get her out of her slump. Someone has to, and it might as well as be him.

He finds her upstairs in the barn, using his telescope to star gaze.

"I thought you said telescopes were for geeks and stalkers," Clark teases, before he can stop himself.

Lois looks at him in surprise. "Moment of weakness," she quips back in habit, and then shrugs.

"But well, as proven over the last few days, I can seriously misjudge people…so who's to say?"

Clark stays still, nodding hesitantly. He doesn't exactly know what to say to that.

"You know,” Lois shakes her head.  “If you've come to kick me off the farm, I completely understand."

Clark frowns.

"In fact, you should." Lois continues, not giving him a chance to speak. "There have been multiple yellow card violations from my side, and this has to count as the final red card. You and your parents have been gracious enough, and I have been nothing but a thorn here."

"Yeah, um…" Clark furrows his eyebrows. "Actually, I came here to tell you dinner is going to be ready and for you to join us."

Lois blinks, surprised. "Oh,"

Clark smiles softly, watching her, trying her best not to smile in relief. Had she really been worried about that?

"How are you holding up?" he asks slowly, testing the waters.

"Oh, just got off the phone with the general."

"Huh," Clark muses. "So that was all the screaming I heard from the house,"

Lois smiles, slightly apologetic. "Yeah…well, he is very disappointed in me for letting this happen, and the same old — I expected better from you, but you keep failing — As far as the family chain of command goes, I am the weakest link, et cetera,"

Clark frowns again, displeased.

"I am sorry about that," he says earnestly.

"Ah, don't worry about it," Lois brushes it off. "There's something cathartic about telling a 3-star general to go to hell," she jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

Clark gives a weak smile, more for her sake than anything else. "Besides, he's wrong too," he adds, in the same light tone she uses.

"Huh?"

"He's wrong," Clark repeats. "Of course, it's not your fault, that would be ridiculous."

He expects Lois to agree and sarcastically make a joke, something like Well, duh ! But Lois only stares at him, taken aback and speechless. Clark immediately gets self-conscious at her reaction. It was a normal thing to say! And he was right! 

"Please say something," he mumbles, the silence engulfing him.

"…Maybe." Lois clears her throat, looking away. "I don't know…I thought I had my sister pegged, but turns out I don't really know her. I knew we were dysfunctional, but not like…this,"

Her lips wobble, and it's very minor; he could have almost missed it, but Clark doesn’t, and it makes him alarmed nonetheless.

Maybe he should have given her more space — what does he know? — But he can’t do anything now. He doubts that leaving abruptly was the right thing to do. Lois obviously needed to talk to someone.

He would have assumed she would have had a heart-to-heart with Chloe, but he suspects she let this situation get to her much more than he had imagined. Perhaps Clark shouldn't have said anything about her father, but what was he going to do? Let her think it's her fault when it clearly wasn't?

Lois swallows, keeping her emotions in check.

"It's fine, it's just hard to accept that the person you thought you knew so well might be a complete stranger after all,"

He sees her go into her thoughts again, no doubt wondering if she should say more or not.

"Even if that were true…" Clark says meaningfully. "I think that if she called you tomorrow, you'd be there in a second to help her."

Lois stares at him, sombre. "Yeah," she says, shaking her head. "Of course I would, she's my sister."

"Plus," Clark adds gently. "I don't think Lucy's all that bad."

Lois goes silent, rubbing her eyes, taking a moment for herself, which Clark gladly gives her, looking away. He walks towards his telescope and looks out the window of his barn.

He isn't sure how much time passes, but the moment is almost comfortable.

"You're amazing, Smallville," Lois says, breaking the quietude. Clark gets immediately suspicious and turns to look at her, who looks at him as if she's trying to figure him out. Lois tends to have that expression often. "You're too nice."

It's Clark's turn to be taken aback when he realises she's serious. "You're the last person who I thought would describe me as nice."

"Don't get used to it. But I mean," Lois shrugs. "It's true. You always look for the best in people, even when they walk all over you."

Clark wonders if she meant for that to sound possibly backhanded or not, but decides to take it as a positive comment. "I guess that's why we are friends," he teases, glad that Lois seems to be getting out of her lonely slump.

Lois's eyes sparkle in mirth at that, and Clark feels like he did all those months ago, when he came out of the dunk tank, when the world around slowed, and it was just the two of them, in a bubble exclusive to solely them.

"Oh," she says softly. "We're friends now…?"

"Well," Clark hears himself say. "I won't tell anyone if you don't."

Her smile widens.

Clark moves to wrap his arms around her and hug her — a small one-sided hug, because the moment feels right. Lois moves as well, and it truly dawns upon him that Oh.

She's going to hug him, too.

But she doesn't.

Not even close.

She turns to punch his arm instead, as she often does, and that would have been fine, perfectly fine — except as he tried to hug her, he pulls her much closer than he intends to, and since she bent forward to punch him suddenly, they collide in such a way that his lips brush past her temple.

They freeze against each other simultaneously.

Silence fills the barn. This time not so comfortable.

Well, shit.

Don't react. Clark thinks forcefully. He isn't sure if he's speaking to himself or trying to telepathically communicate with Lois. Both, maybe.

Don't react, and we can pretend that never happened. Please.

He hears loud thumps of an heart beat and he isn't sure if it's hers or his own. 

Lois slowly takes a step back, stunned and if Clark hadn't been so flustered, he would have probably taken a note of her reddening ears, but he doesn't because Clark wants to super speed out of there and bury himself in a hole and possibly die, but he can't super-speed because Lois is right there and he does what he does best all thing Lois related.

He gets frustrated and panics.

To her credit, though, Lois doesn't say anything —  just stares at him with comically wide eyes.

Say something!

Clark feels his neck burn, utterly embarrassed at how he is handling this, and tries to ignore how his mind supplies him with information of how Lois's hair smelled and that it was nice.

Well, don't say THAT.

Then, because Clark Kent is an absolute thorough idiot who really ought to learn not to speak in the matters of girls and romance or anything really, he bumbles a nervous, "That — That wasn't a kiss !"

It breaks the moment between them, because if Lois had looked nervous, flustered, and confused earlier, she looked completely amused now, her face getting one of those knowing grins — having found something she would tease Clark for the rest of his life.

"I was going to give you the grace and not speak of it, but— wow," she snickered, fighting the huge grin on her face.

"You know it wasn't that, I was trying to hug — It wasn't even a peck—!"

"Oh?" she teases, grinning. "Okay, buddy."

"It's not—!"

"Mmhm,"

"Lois, seriously, it wasn't a kiss."

"I never said it was, it's just you bringing it up…?"

"You're thinking it!"

Lois shrugs, as if helpless, failing to hide her smirk.

She leaves him to his fumbling mess and heads towards the stairs. Just before she goes down the barn loft, she turns back to him. "If you want to kiss me so bad, you can just you know," Lois grins cheesily. "ask."

"In your dreams, Lane!"

"Mmhm," she muses and goes down, as Clark buries his head in his hands. "I mean, I would say no if you asked, it's too weird, but well, I guess you had the chance and you took it…" he hears her say.

"Can you shut up? You know it's not like that —"

"But I suppose I should try to think from the perspective of a sad little huckleberry farmer who doesn't get much action — I’m glad you’re moving on, Smallville. Really. One step at a time, though ! You don’t want to jump into another relationship so soon..." she laughs to herself. "Can you even handle me?"

Oh. My. God.

Kill me right now.

But when he hears Lois giggle as she heads to the house, he thinks it might be worth it. Better for her to tease him than for her to be alone with that forlorn look, using his telescope sadly.

"Mrs. Kent, your son is quite bold, I believe—? Is it a Kent thing?" he hears her say distantly and rushes down to silence her, before his family starts to tease him next, and he has to move away from Kansas permanently.

"Shut up, Lois!"

Maybe it was worth it. Clark's not too sure.

(He is.)

But what Clark is pretty sure about is that Lois's ears are still a bright red.