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"This is the stupidest thing I've ever done." Stephen deadpanned as he stared into the expansive Spirit Halloween store.
"And you'll have plenty of time to do things that are even stupider, as long as you don't waste time faffing around!" Steven said cheerfully before pulling Stephen into the store. "I've never been to one of these before, but social media says they're iconic."
"I think social media and I have very different views on what iconic means." Stephen tugged on his Cloak (disguised as a scarf) as they walked further into a store. There was a lot of kids running around, followed by their exhausted parents. The two men walked by a couple of spooky Halloween animatronics, their jaws laughing and cackling at them as they went. Steven stepped on one of the pads and grinned as the ghostly model screamed and withered in pain.
"This is gonna be so much fun."
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"Stephen. Stephen you have to see this." Steven raised his voice from where he was standing a couple of feet away from the sorcecer. Stephen raised an eyebrow as he walked over. He regretted it immediately.
"By the Vishanti, that's hideous." It was a replica costume of Doctor Strange in a neat little plastic bag with a picture of a smiling kid on the front. The colors were completely inaccurate and the replica of the Cloak looked painful to put on. Steven grinned deviously at him.
"You have to buy it and wear it for Halloween!"
"No. I don't even think they have my size. Aren't these costumes for kids?" Stephen crossed his arms.
"Not this one." Steven pulled another bag out from the wall and dangled it in front of him. It was an undead Strange, complete with a copious amount of blood and more inaccurate detailing. The model on the front looked far more adult.
"Whose ideas were these?! They're awful!" Stephen sunk to the ground as Steven laughed merrily.
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"She was a fairy." Steven uttered as he spun around in a Good Witch dress. "Well, I feel a bit silly. Dresses kinda work for me though, don't they?"
"They do." Stephen nodded as he sat in the chair in the corner. Other than that, he didn't show much else.
Steven changed into another costume, this time it was a shark with absurdly large fins. Stephen quickly took a picture, keeping his poker face firmly on.
A whole hour later and Stephen had enough blackmail to last him six ordeals.
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"Why do they look like that." Steven pointed to something that was on the shelves next to them. Stephen turned from where he had been looking at a fake spider and stared. There were hundreds of horror babies, all staring with glass eyes and puckered mouths. They tried to move from the babies' piercing gazes but it seemed like their eyes tracked them wherever they moved.
"I'm so not feeling the aster right now." Steven muttered just as one of the babies blinked. The men shuddered at the exact same time and quickly backed away from the aisle, vowing to never venture down it again.
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"Please use your magic to increase the fog in the machine." Steven was using his puppy eyes on him, poking at his arm.
"No."
"But-"
"No.
Steven turned up the puppy eye charm. "Think about it." Stephen made a show of tapping his finger against his chin.
"Hmm. Thought about it. Answer is still no."
"You came to that conclusion real quick. Must be because there's not a lot to bounce thoughts off of up in there, innit?" Stephen rolled his eyes before discreetly summoning his mystical abilities and directed them to his target: the fog machine.
Suddenly, bursts of fog came spurting out of the machine, causing it to go into overload. People in the store started screaming as they heard the noises of the machine but couldn't see anything due to the fog. Therefore, they all started running around like headless chickens.
"I asked you to increase it! Not-not break it!" Steven sounded panicked as they both watched the mess unfold.
"I did! Apparently the fog machines are so full of hatred they just resisted my abilities and broke down instead. Like a grand suicide." Steven made a face at that.
"So I'm now an accomplice to attempted murder?"
"Not attempted. It worked." Stephen snarked before jumping as the fog machine exploded.
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The manager was a very cranky old man who looked like he knew fifty different ways to kill you with a pencil. He tapped said pencil on the desk as he studied the two.
"I've been runnin' these Spirit Halloweens for well over a decade, and we ain't never have a fog machine go psycho on us before. What in the world did you two do to it?"
"Fiddled with it a little, maybe." Stephen leaned forward on the desk, which caused the manager's eyes to narrow. Mr. Denny, the nametag offered politely, which was a great deal more hospitality than what this man was giving them.
Then again, they did just blow up a fog machine and singed the building's carpet entirely (by accident.)
"I don't think no fiddlin' with a fog machine will be what caused it to spontaneously combust."
As the other man talked, Stephen eyed a photo on his desk of a girl that was presumably his daughter. URETHA!
"Mr. Denny, we'll pay for the damages. But it was truly an accident on our part. It wasn't very sigma of us. We were just standing near it and pushed some buttons and boom! It exploded. We're lucky we weren't hurt." Steven explained smoothly. He's gotten miles better at lying since last time.
"Yes, and if you don't keep quiet, we can make other things explode too." Stephen said darkly, pointing to the photo on his desk.
Mr. Denny paled considerably. "Fine. Pay them as soon as possible and we won't sue you. But, and probably for a long time-
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"-You are banned from Spirit Halloween!" The man shouted just as Stephen's butt hit the hard concrete. He turned around and slammed the door loudly, leaving the two to sit on cold asphalt.
"You aren't actually going after his kid, are you?"
"I would never. But that was the stupidest thing I've ever done. Have you ever been banned from a store before?"
"I haven't." Steven smiled, a bit cheeky. "Haven't had much time to try. But there's a first time for everything, right?" Stephen snorted as he gathered himself back up into a sitting position.
"This wouldn't be my first time. I got banned from a coffee place once after chewing out the manager after once of her employees was a total piece of work to me. I took care of it and it was very much worth it in the end. Plus, I leaned I favor tea anyway."
"Speaking of…you wanna get some ice cream before we have to report to our stations?"
"That would be wonderful, yes. Lead the way."
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A couple of weeks later, Marc entered the store, ready to buy some Halloween decorations to make his New York apartment look less deary and wondered why the manager instantly kicked him out.