Chapter Text
Two years it had been since Dean had been dragged into The Pit.
Seventeen months it had been since Cas had discovered her pregnancy and been left to raise Dean’s child on her own.
And for someone who had never had a childhood of her own, it was not an easy task.
First of all, she’d had to find a life outside of hunting.
She moved into a small apartment in suburban Kansas, somehow subconsciously needing that connection with Dean for their child.
Having set up a false identity, she survived off credit card scamming as Dean had taught her.
When Sam was born, Cas felt something she had never felt in her 26 years.
She looked that blue eyed baby in the face and felt home.
It wasn’t completely foreign she supposed, it was something she had felt with Dean too, when they were curled together in a different motel room each night, hunting evil and falling in love.
But this was different, this was something that she and Dean had created together and the warmth that filled her was unrivaled by anything she had ever felt.
The nurses had asked about Sam’s father and she had turned away at the look of pity in their eyes when she had simply stated “he’s dead”.
But this was later.
Sam was a year old and the most beautiful baby boy she had ever seen, not that she had really encountered a lot of babies in her previous life.
But Sam was the most beautiful because he looked just like his father.
He has Cas’s blue eyes, but the rest of him was all Dean.
And as much as it hurt to see his face in her son, she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
Now, at least, Dean wasn’t really gone. She would be able to see him and remember every time she looked at Sam. And that was worth the pain.
Cas tried to forget what today was as she lay down Sam in his bed, the two year anniversary of losing Dean.
Swallowing the tears that threatened to fall, she put on a pair of Dean’s boxers and shirt and climbed into her empty bed.
But as she closed her eyes, a sound woke her instantly.
She lept out of bed, gun already in her hand and loaded and ran to her sons room.
A man loomed over Sam’s crib. How had she not heard him get in? Not important now.
“Don’t you dare touch him” she growled, cocking the gun for emphasis.
But as the man straightened up, she could see he was shaking, and not only that, she knew those shoulders.
She knew the back of that head, even in the dark she would always know him.
“Dean?” her voice was barely above a whisper.
Dean turned slowly and she saw the tears in his eyes in the stream of moonlight from the window.
She couldn’t get another word out, but threw herself at him wrapping her arms around his neck and feeling those familiar strong arms wrap around her.
“Cas” her name from his lips sounded like a dying man asking for water, parched and desperate.
“How…” she trailed off, pulling back to look into his face.
It was just how she remembered, but thinner, more pained. He had obviously been through hell.
Oh yes, he actually HAD been through hell.
He shook his head,
“They sent me back… Time was up I guess” She caught his eyes travel over to the still sleeping Sam.
She smiled softly, “I see you met your son.”
His face suddenly went white with shock.
“MY son? I saw him and I just assumed… You… Uh…”
She looked at him incredulously.
“You thought I moved on?? You thought I had some other man's baby?”
Cas took a deep breath, calming herself as to not wake her son, their son.
“Dean I’ve never loved anyone else but you and I never could. Dean, he’s fifteen months old. And before that I was pregnant for nine months. You were still here twenty four months ago. I was two months pregnant when you… Got taken”
Even in the darkness Cas could see that Dean was as pale as a sheet. She grabbed his arm and pulled him out into the hallway, closing Sam’s door behind her.
The lamp in the hall cast a soft glow on the un-willingly estranged lovers. In the light Cas could look into Dean’s face and see every emotion he was trying to hide. She gently reached up to touch his face, his jaw clenched and his eyes closed, but he didn’t pull away.
Somehow over the last pair of years one half of this emotionally stunted couple had figured out how to deal with feelings.
Maybe it was having a child, maybe it was having to come to terms with the loss of Dean, but Cas had changed. She was no longer the empty killer she had once been.
“His name is Sam.” she murmured, her hand still on his cheek, not wanting to break the mood.
Dean’s eyes flew open and his green eyes darted between her blue ones, as if he couldn’t decide which to focus on. His voice finally came out again as a choked whisper,
“What?” Cas remembered all the nights they had laid in bed together, just talking.
How he’d told her all about his brother Sam, how Sam had died, how much he missed him.
It was funny. Cas had never imagined she would see Dean again, but still she named their child after Sam because it’s what she would have done had he been there. She wanted to give that to Dean, a chance to make up for losing his brother.
And here he was in front of her, and what was she doing? Arguing with him? Talking to him? Hell, there was time for talking later. Now, her body was telling her about all the need it had accumulated in the past two years and that it was about to explode.
She bit her lip, saw his eyes move to her mouth and took her opening.
Cas flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing her lips, and the rest of her body tight to his. It was only a millisecond before his body began to respond. His arms wrapped tightly around her, squeezing like he thought he would be dragged back to Hell at any moment. But she wasn’t going to let that happen, not again.
She threaded her fingers into his hair as his hands roamed her body. They settled below her behind and lifted her off the ground. Cas immediately wrapped her legs around him as the muscle memories of doing this so many times before came flooding back. How Dean liked to be kissed, how he liked when Cas tugged his hair, how he liked…
Her thought train trailed off as Dean mumbled something into her mouth.
“What?”
“Bedroom, which door is the bedroom”
“Oh. Behind you”
Dean carried her through the doorway and walked into the dark room until his legs hit the bed. He let Cas slide down his body until she was sitting on the bed in front of him.
She had already started pulling off his filthy clothes, had he been wearing the same clothes for the past two years in Hell? She was pretty sure they were caked in blood as well so it was a possibility.
Suddenly he was shirtless and she ran her hands over his abs and chest. How could she have lived without him for two years? How had she EVER lived without him?
“Cas…”
His voice was still in that rough whisper, but now he wasn’t really trying to say anything, it was like he felt if he said her name he could be more reassured she was there, that he still wasn’t in hell just having a hallucination. She kissed his stomach above his belly button.
“I’m right here, Dean. I got you.”
That was all it took to break him.
In as much time as it took her to blink, his mouth and body were covering hers on the bed. She reached between them, undoing his belt and shoving his jeans down, he tugged her sleep shirt off and moved his mouth to her bare breasts as she shoved his boxers off her body. Cas felt a grin against her body as she dropped the undergarment off the bed.
“Those are mine." She could hear the smile in his voice.
“Yeah.” Was all Cas could managed before she arched her back off the bed in pleasure, no longer able to form a coherent thought as he slid two fingers into her body.
He moved his mouth back up to kiss her and pulled his fingers out, she was ready and neither of them could, or wanted to wait any longer. He slid into her and she gasped, not with pain, although there was some discomfort, it had been two years, no, it was the feeling of home she felt when she was with baby Sam.
Dean was her home. And he was home.
Some time later they lay tangled together, spent and happy. Cas nuzzled into his neck. Prompting a sleepy kiss to the top of her head from Dean. Yes, there would be trials in the future, hell there would be trials tomorrow, when she will have to introduce Sam to his own father, but for now, all she could feel was happy and complete