turntechgodhead 
carcinogeneticist
CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT HOW POLLS HAVE BEEN AVAILABLE FOR ELEVEN FUCKING EARTH YEARS AND WE STILL DON'T HAVE THE OPTION TO ENABLE MULTIPLE ANSWERS? OR HAVE A "SEE RESULTS" BUTTON THAT DOESN'T AFFECT THE ACTUAL RESULTS? THESE WOULD BE USEFUL FEATURES, TUMBLR! @STAFF @STAFF @STAFF
i need everyone to know that this post was inspired by cg having an absolute shitfit over the fact that she couldnt pick just one on a very important and scientific whats your favorite romcom poll
Source: carcinogeneticist
#how dare anyone make her pick just one tbh#so many masterpieces in the romantic comedy genre #cg bait
612,123 notes
carcinogeneticist turntechgodhead
Why does nobody ever want to acknowledge the inherent power imbalances that exist in human/troll relationships? I don't care that trolls have been on earth for decades at this point, they are still from a more advanced and violent society! they are also stronger than any human could hope to be! how do we know we're not being mind controlled into relationships with them?
yeah im being controlled by something but it sure aint her mind
also decades lol theyve been here way longer than that you do know that right
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
OP, I MEAN. I KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH *YOU*, DOVE.
is it the fact that your rumblyboobs are controlling me
YES, OF COURSE. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. THE ONLY THING, IN FACT. SO GLAD WE FIGURED THAT OUT.
See? the troll even has the human using troll words! they are going to take what makes us human if we don't get this under control.
hey man im trying to flirt with my wife can you cool it on the space racism thanks
I do not want you to flirt with your wife on my post!
cool thanks appreciate it
so baby
what you wearing
YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT I'M WEARING. STOP FLIRTING WITH ME ON THIS HORRIBLE POST AND JUST BLOCK THIS IDIOT ALREADY.
Source: orangecellojello
#YOU REALLY NEED TO STOP DOING THIS PEOPLE KEEP TAGGING ME ON DOGSHIT TAKES ASKING IF YOU'RE GOING TO HIT ON ME IN THE REPLIES
699 notes
turntechgodhead filledwithmicrofiber
Sometimes I see people on here talk about there "wives" or "husbands" or "spouses" and I'm like ??? That sounds so fake how is anyone on Tumblr even old enough to get married don't you have finals or something to worry about ???????
Source: filledwithmicrofiber
#i am at least 18 im definitely old enough to be married okay
80,085 notes
turntechgodhead carcinogeneticist
STOP MESSAGING ME ASKING WHY I'M MARRIED TO AN 18 YEAR OLD! SHE SAID *AT LEAST* 18. WHICH MEANS SHE IS OLDER THAN 18! MUCH OLDER THAN THAT, IN FACT! AND WE ARE THE SAME AGE! WHY IS THIS AGE GAP SHIT STILL A THING?
Source: carcinogeneticist
#shes actually six months younger than me so im the problematic one thanks
130 notes
carcinogeneticist tevelision
i Am so Sick of Seeing posts About petrina Whitlock is That really Who human Likers find Attractive these Days? voyage Beyond the Waves isn't Even a Good movie You people Have no taste
Source: tevelision
#YOU PEOPLE ARE JUST MAKING UP CELEBRITIES AT THIS POINT
9,534 notes
carcinogeneticist turntechgodhead
i once again stand by my canceled wife
WHAT AM I BEING CANCELED FOR NOW?
not knowing who purina sunblock is apparently shes got a lot of fans and youre being disrespectful
I'M ALWAYS BEING DISRESPECTFUL. THEY CAN DEAL WITH IT.
thats what ive been telling them lol
Source: turntechgodhead
7,969 notes
carcinogeneticist turntechgodhead
i know were still trying to compile that list of all women but i keep getting stuck because my wife is a woman so naturally i keep getting distracted thinking of her
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? IS THAT WHY YOU'VE BEEN IN MY OFFICE FOR THE LAST THREE HOURS MAKING A SPREADSHEET?
Source: turntechgodhead
54,398 notes
turntechgodhead grimauxiliatrix
A Human Child Just Asked Me What An Iphone Is I Believe The World Is Finally Healing
Source: grimauxiliatrix
#agreed#i know i exclusively had iphones until apple went bankrupt but shhh agreed #im free
1,666,932 notes
turntechgodhead carcinogeneticist
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY @TURNTECHGODHEAD HAS TAKEN UP WHITTLING? SHE SAYS IT IS A SURPRISE THAT HAS TO DO WITH SOME HUMAN TRADITION BUT I FEEL LIKE SHE'S FUCKING WITH ME.
nobody tell cg about the whittling its a surprise dont ruin this for me
You don't have to worry about anyone ruining the surprise. None of us know what you're doing either.
Source: carcinogeneticist
13 notes
turntechgodhead buttstuffliker
Has anyone else been experiencing this strange glitch where it says every post on your dash was made by a singular user? I thought perhaps my sister was having a bizarre manic episode but it appears she did not actually make any of the posts I was seeing.
YES! IT HAD SOME RANDOM PERSON'S USERNAME INSTEAD OF DOVE'S ON A POST SHE MADE ABOUT MY ASS AND I ABSOLUTELY WENT OFF ON HER THINKING SOME CREEP WAS TALKING ABOUT ME!
to be fair i noticed nothing that is how you usually react to my posts about your ass
WELL I WAS BEING SERIOUS THIS TIME! AND I SAID SOME THINGS THAT I WOULD NOT HAVE ACTUALLY SAID TO YOU AND I'M VERY SORRY ABOUT IT, OKAY?
lol babe its okay
my dash says every post was made by tumblr user buttstuffliker is that guy even still around
UnforTUnaTely yes
Source: tentacletherapist
455,455 notes
turntechgodhead carcinogeneticist
I HATE THAT YOU CAN JUST REBLOG AN INDIVIDUAL REPLY IN A REBLOG CHAIN BY ITSELF. IT'S MAKING IT WAY TOO EASY FOR MORONS TO TAKE THINGS I SAID OVER A DECADE AGO OUT OF CONTEXT! WHO ASKED FOR THIS FEATURE?
Source: carcinogeneticist
#wow cant believe they implemented that instead of fixing that glitch where it emails you every time someone blocks you #i hope they never fix that though karkat yells every time she gets one and its hilarious
1,696,457 notes
turntechgodhead carcinogeneticist
NEVERMIND. I HOPE YOU BREAK YOUR OTHER ARM.
405 notes
carcinogeneticist turntechgodhead
yeah they call me feather feet dont worry about it
Source: turntechgodhead
#NOBODY HAS EVER CALLED YOU THAT COME TO BED YOU IDIOT
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