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Kris hadn't been able to make it because their brother was home, as they’d explained to them both the day before, so Susie found herself alone, descending into the dark world of the closet. Toward Castle Town, home of her friend Ralsei. Friend. Like a moron, the thought of all these people being genuinely her friends made her smile.
“Susie!” As always, Ralsei was ecstatic. He rushed over and gave her a quick hug, still holding her biceps as they broke away. “I'm so happy to see you!”
Susie pulled away with a snort. “We come here every day, you know?”
“Yeah, but it makes me happy every day!”
She wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, so she just ignored it. “I have something to show you,” she said. “But let's say hi to Lancer first!”
“Isn't Lancer still in Kris' inventory?”
“Oh crap.” Susie face-palmed. “You're right, let's just go then!” Susie grabbed his arm and started walking toward the castle with the boy.
“Oh, okay!”
They crossed the bustle of Castle Town, now teeming with life and subjects for the prince. Heh, it's not like they paid much attention to Ralsei's authority, she thought as she glanced at the tiny cups attempting to take over the place via violence. They were saying something, but Susie pushed them aside with her foot as they walked through the castle corridors. They were everywhere!
“Uh Susie, before…”
“Ok, Ralsei, are you ready for-” Susie stopped as she crossed the threshold into Ralsei's room.
It was considerably larger now. The comfy bed he'd been forced to get was pushed to the side, Kris and Susie's various gifts to the other (there were statues, sofa cushions without a sofa, worn books, some moss, among other things). The floor was now varnished wood, although the black walls and the small window in the middle were still a little creepy. On Ice-E's head was a Sweet Cap'n Cakes-branded record player.
Susie whistled and smiled broadly. "What's going on here?"
"Well," Ralsei began, taking a step forward with his hands behind his back. "I've been... preparing stuff."
"What for?"
Ralsei grinned nervously.
"Remember you told us about Noelle's birthday?" Susie nodded. "Her father can't dance with her anymore, and Kris said they didn't want to, despite her mother's wishes."
Susie cringed when she remembered how that conversation went. Kris had suggested Susie ask her to dance, which Ralsei supported with a strange vehemence. At that moment, Susie caught the enthusiasm of her friends, because she really liked Noelle and because it would be an epic act of rebellion against her tight-ass mother. But left alone, the idea caused her more anxiety than anything else.
Noelle would surely be well groomed for her sweet 16, with her long hair styled and a nice dress, while Susie hopefully had a comb for her wild hair and old sneakers. Besides, Susie had no idea how to dance with someone else. Consequently, she had silently dismissed the idea.
But it seemed her friends didn't. Ralsei smiled at her.
“You said you weren't great at dancing, so I had an idea!” Ralsei walked over to the record player and put a record from the stack. “I admit, this is no talent of mine either, but I’ve been practicing since then so I could help you if you wanted.”
Ralsei turned on the record player and looked at her, still smiling, his eyes bright and hopeful. Susie recalled Ralsei's face that day, his despair... No, she didn't want to think about that now. Kris and her had a plan. In the meantime, she focused on spending time with her friend as usual.
"What'd you mean?" She said over the music. It wasn't meant for a disco with hundreds of people jumping around, but for a slow dance.
"Uhm." Ralsei blushed. "I thought I could... teach you how to dance."
The boy extended a hand toward her in wait.
Susie tensed and placed her own hands on her hips skeptically, not shy at all. "So I can dance with her...? Even if I could learn, it's not like I have anything I can wear..."
Ralsei's hand hesitated.
“Aww, Susie, I don’t think Noelle will mind! Besides, if you’re worried, I’m sure Kris can help you get something in the Light World. A nice button-up… maybe a hat, or a fancy belt.” Ralsei closed his eyes as he spoke, his face flushing. Susie felt a little self-conscious, and when she didn’t respond, Ralsei withdrew his hand to his chest. “Oh, I-I mean! I’m sure it could be fun if you try.”
“Uhh, I guess…”
Ralsei reached out again. Susie slowly shook off her disdain for trying, remembering the old man’s advice. Maybe… it was okay if she wasn’t instantly an amazing dancer. And Ralsei was trying so hard for her, again.
With that thought in mind, she grinned back at Ralsei and took his hand, getting shocked by the softness of his pink pads. Ralsei beamed at her, and Susie allowed him to gently pull her into position.
“Well,” the boy began. “Since you’re the tallest, you should hold me by the waist, and I’ll hold your shoulder.”
Susie followed the instructions, focused. She placed her hand gently on Ralsei’s lower back as he grabbed her shoulder. Naturally, Ralsei’s head almost rested next to her neck. She’d never done anything like this before, and the closeness made her a little nervous. She reminded herself that Ralsei must have experienced even less contact in his life when she noticed his red ears.
“Now what?”
“For now… we’d like to concentrate on our feet.”
Susie looked down, briefly apologizing when she accidentally bumped her snout against the rim of Ralsei’s glasses. The music continued to play in the room as Ralsei whispered instructions. He encouraged her when she did wrong, and praised her when she did well. Susie gradually found herself relaxing, though her robotic movements hadn't improved much and contrasted with the boy's grace. Susie frequently bumped their feet accidentally.
"You learned to dance in just a few days?" Susie couldn't help but be a little impressed. Ralsei was not some kind of pro, but he seemed quite comfortable on his paws.
Ralsei hummed a yes. "The swatchlings were happy to teach me."
Susie snorted at the mental image. "Well... I think you're pretty good at it."
Ralsei pulled back slightly to meet her eyes and smile, his rosy cheeks creasing. The boy blushed very easily; Susie considered the advantages of her own color. "Thanks, Susie."
"Uh... sure."
They performed a particularly good spin, which Susie was proud of. She was getting the hang of this!
“You’re doing well, too. I’m sure you’ll be able to keep up. Noelle will be ever so charmed.”
Susie got a little excited at the thought of doing this with Noelle, but she was surely much better than Susie. “You think so?”
“Mhm!” Ralsei nodded against her cheek.
They continued dancing, the music and the rhythm allowing Susie’s turbulent mind to wander. The past few days she’d lived more than in her entire life. She was… so happy, but fear gnawed at her. Fear that, when the adventures were over, she would lose them all.
She hoped she’d dance at least decently for Noelle when the day came. And she'd joke with Kris, she’d…
She’d be able to hug Ralsei back. Because Ralsei would be with them. Forever. The old man didn’t seem incredulous when she wished for eternity. It had to be a sign. It had to be doable.
Ralsei began to sing along with the background melody. His voice, which vibrated sweetly, seemed to travel through Susie from her ears to her toes, before swirling in her chest. Her movements suddenly became even clumsier, and she tried to swallow a frog.
It was impossible to forget what had happened just a few days ago. The way Ralsei had looked at her, and her conversation with Kris. It was unfair. She couldn't believe the prophecy could make her feel so special, only to go and put down her friends. Unconsciously, her grip on Ralsei tightened, pulling him closer.
No stupid prophecy written by some bitter old people a thousand years ago or whatever would take this away from her.
"Susie?" Ralsei sounded worried, but he shifted closer, his fluffy white ear tickling her nose. They'd stopped dancing, now just embracing in the middle of the room like a couple of idiots, but Susie felt like if she let go, he'd vanish into thin air. She couldn't even be ashamed of clinging to the boy like she’d be if anyone else could see. She needed… had to protect him.
Ralsei laughed softly. “Susie, this isn't very like you, are you okay?”
Susie suddenly separated their heads, but still didn't completely let go of his waist. She felt a pang of embarrassment, her cheeks hot as she growled, “Shut up.”
Ralsei met her gaze, smiling. His eyelashes were long and dark, and he had eyeshadow, was that natural? Oh, he was getting closer. Was he getting closer?!
He brought their foreheads together and closed his eyes. Susie froze.
“Susie, I just wanted to share something with you, if that's okay,” Ralsei began. Mutely, Susie nodded for Ralsei to continue. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about you.”
"Kris said... I'm allowed to own preferences, to make my own choices. And every second I choose, for myself, to do things for you, means so much more than it should." Ralsei nuzzled his nose with her cheek. "I'm what I am. I'm never going to be as amazing as you two, but... I just want you to think I'm cool, so badly. I'm sorry, I-"
“You're way more than cool,” blurted out Susie. Ralsei opened his eyes, surprised. He was even cuter up close, but Susie avoided getting distracted from the subject. “I don't know what the hell I would even do without you, Ralsei.”
As if she had lost control of her body completely, Susie planted a quick kiss on his cheek before hugging him once again, not allowing herself to look at his face after that. What the hell had she just done? Whatever, just play it cool!
“S-susie, you…” Ralsei buried his face in her shoulder and whispered, “I really, really like you…”
Susie felt her heart race, wondering what exactly Ralsei meant. Was it like, like? She felt so warm all of a sudden, and not just because of the fluffy radiator in her arms. This was very strange, but having friends in general was a novelty for Susie. She wasn't sure if this was normal, though.
Stop thinking nonsense, it's not that big a deal.
“I, uh… I like you too.”
At her words, she felt Ralsei slowly pull away from her embrace to look at her with huge, pink, sparkling eyes. Shyly, he leaned in and kissed her cheek, just like she had just done a second ago. It felt good. Very good. Her skin wouldn't let Ralsei get away. When he tried to, Susie followed him until they stood motionless, noses pressed together, expectant.
Ralsei seemed to understand what Susie still hadn't fully, because then he bent his head and joined their lips in a chaste kiss that lasted only an instant.
“I'm sorry,” Ralsei said, looking down as he pulled away from her embrace. Susie, with a burning face, was so shocked that she couldn't stop him. “I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that… I'm- I'm not the one that- I shouldn't be…”
“Shut up.”
Ralsei didn't meet her gaze, but he simply complied. Then silently walked to the record player and stopped it, standing with his back turned to her.
Susie felt a pang of guilt. The excitement and shock she felt from that quick… kiss translated into an undeserved rude attitude. Why was she like this?
“Don’t shut up! I mean I just… I hate it when you talk like that.”
Ralsei didn’t turn around.
“About how stuff should be or shouldn’t be or whatever. I told you I don’t care for any of that! I won’t let that… bullshit dictate our future!”
“I know,” Ralsei said.
Susie sighed.
“But you don’t believe it,” she said, neither with anger nor sadness. She herself found it a little hard to believe her own words, but… she had to.
She had to.
Suddenly, Ralsei spun around with a smile, hands behind his back. “I understand what you’re saying, Susie, it’s just…”
She waited with concealed anxiety.
“It's just… what I just did,” Ralsei said with a stupidly fake smile. “It was a terrible idea.”
Susie took a step back as if his words had struck her. Her hair fell over her eyes, hiding the blush of embarrassment that had surely taken over her face.
“Heh. Y’know, Ralsei,” she began furiously, crossing her arms to hide their trembling. “If you don't… like me that way, you can just SAY that. I hate excuses, especially when YOU were the one to kiss ME!”
Ralsei grimaced ugly, as if in pain. “I didn’t mean it like that. I- I…”
Susie met Ralsei’s gaze, startling him. His face turned all pink, but he continued as if words were rocks in his mouth.
“I- I like you. But I shou- I mean,” he interrupted himself, sweating. “I… I’m a little confused. I don’t know if that’s what I feel for you, but even if it were… It can’t be. It’s impossible.”
Susie felt a little flustered at the idea of “it.” It seemed like Ralsei had thought of “it” deeper than Susie ever dared. She couldn’t believe this was a situation… her, and the prospect of “it.” Ralsei kept talking.
“I’m a darker,” he said, looking down. Susie opened her mouth to protest, but he interrupted her with a smile. “And think of Noelle! She’s so sweet, don’t you like her instead?”
Susie paused at the question. Noelle…
Did she like Noelle?
It felt good to spend time with her. She was pretty, she always treated her well, and, surprisingly, she discovered they had several things in common. Occasionally, her chest would warm at the thought of her, and she would get flustered when she was affectionate or did something particularly… cute, she supposed. Did that mean she liked her?
… Thinking about it, the same description sometimes applied to Kris, even a little to Lancer, and especially to the boy in front of her.
To Ralsei, with his gigantic eyes and ridiculous glasses that managed to make them look tiny. He was watching her, waiting for her to respond. His reddened nose twitched like a bunny’s, while his white brows furrowed in permanent distress. He might like her that way. Susie thought she was going to throw up from the intensity of the fluttering in her stomach, but she failed to identify the source of her excitement. She quickly realized she didn't know the real meaning of "it."
She'd been so excited to dance with Noelle, and Kris and Ralsei seemed to think something was blossoming between them. But did Susie understand what any of that meant? "Love"?
Wait a second.
Why was she even CONSIDERING searching for love? That's what the prophecy said she'd do!
Ralsei took a few steps closer and intercepted her stream of thought. “Can we simply... forget about what just happened?"
A pause.
"...Please?"
Susie sighed and scratched the back of her neck, implicitly giving in. She looked around for another topic of conversation before she could think of one.
"Right." She coughed and said slowly, "I couldn't show what I brought for you yet."
Ralsei raised his head, his face relaxing into a languid smile filled with relief and gratitude. Susie didn't attempt to make eye contact. "What is it, Susie?" he asked.
Susie summoned the item from her inventory (something she'd struggled a bit to master). A large stuffed white dog appeared, held in the air by its neck between Susie's claws. Its limbs were movable and heavy, and the thing must have been about four feet tall. She'd bought it yesterday from one of the new shops in Castle Town, when Kris and she had visited only to find the prince fast asleep, pillowed in his new bed. Susie felt her face heat up a little at the silly gift: she hadn't planned on giving it to him at such a… serious moment, but she hoped Ralsei would like it.
She coughed and smiled. “Behold, the ultimate cuddling machine.”
This wasn't really Susie's thing, but when she looked at it her mind deviated straight to Ralsei. He did love hugs after all, and Kris thought it was a great idea.
Her eyes snapped to Ralsei when she heard him snort. He covered his mouth with a hand, blushing, and excitedly walked to her.
"That's so, so cute, Susie! Thank you!"
“Heh, don't mention it,” she said, letting him grab the plush by both sides and lift it to his face.
"Its fur is so soft too... oh, Susie, thank you so much! This is so, so sweet of you."
He hid in its belly fluff and Susie worried. He wasn't crying again, was he?
“Uh, you okay?”
"Uhgmf- uhm, yeah of course! Why wouldn't I?" He revealed his eyes to be suspiciously reddened, but at least there were no tears. He walked to his bed and hugged the dog tightly before placing it next to his own plushie, the one Kris gave to him. “Thank you Susie, I appreciate it. A lot.”
They smiled at each other but fell into silence. There was a finality to it, but Susie didn't want to leave just yet.
“Well, I don't really have to head back yet,” she said, grinning and scratching her neck. "I was... having fun earlier. Do you still wanna dance?"
Ralsei blushed.
"Huh? I-I'd love to, but are you sure?"
Susie laughed. "Absolutely, but put some funkier disk there. We gotta fucking move."
“O-okay,” he said, wincing at the curse, but quickly put on another record from the collection. This time, it was Susie who reached out like a ritual. He wasn’t smiling anymore, but his tired gaze was soft. He took her hand.
There was no structure, no attempt at elegance, no further intention this time: it was pure freestyle. They grabbed each other’s forearms, and Ralsei squealed as Susie pulled him around the room a few times. She, perhaps a little fed up with it all, a little fatigued and filled with bitter fury, felt her negative energy slowly released with each unnecessary stomp. She was learning to let go of shame, because she would die before she didn't let Ralsei know how comfortable she was by his side.
At one point, she pulled his wrist above his horns and made him spin, expecting for him to stumble. The boy surprised her: saw it coming and practically did a pirouette on his paw’s claws, laughing out loud. It was a tremulous, squeaky sound, almost like a kid’s. It sounded so dumb it made her smile. It was a stark contrast to Susie's raspy voice, whose laugh sounded like some kind of creature choking on a fur ball. She thought about how different they were. Not long before, she hadn't thought she'd ever get along with such... soft people. Like Noelle, like Ralsei. But now, seeing that little white face filled her chest with unfiltered affection.
It wasn't an "I can't help it" kind of thing. No, Susie would’ve been quite capable. But instead, she chose it. She allowed them to find her, and that opened new paths before her eyes. It allowed her to find them.
Maybe she was unusually emotional today for some reason, but she felt like, unlike the rest of her life, she was a real person that other people were willing to love too.