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"Guys... Guys?" Rumi calls, stepping out of the elevator and heading for the living room. She can't find them there.
She continued walking and looked for the girls. She wanted to celebrate their first year as Idol Awards’ winners with them, with snacks and drinks. Celine held her back for a few more moments, both to remind her to be careful what she shared with the girls and to tell her that they were now fully prepared as Hunters.
Rumi wanted to celebrate with them and share the good news: no more trips to distant training grounds, but only workouts and sparring sessions in their own home gym, long before they had the tower's immense facilities. She wanted to be with them, even though leadership demanded detachment, and responsibility, distance.
It's her nature to be a ghost, so she walks stealthily, without thinking, down the stairs to Mira's room, simply because it's the closest one, after her own. The door is ajar. Her voice dies in her throat when she sees what's happening inside: Zoey and Mira are kissing. Just as silently, she returns to her room and lets it all out, without bothering or disturbing anyone. She decides she needs time, but disguises it as courtesy to them. She lets them be, in their bubble, for a few more minutes.
Then she puts on another mask, composes herself, and is about to start another show.
"Mira, Zoey! I'm back!" Yes, she's a ghost, and because of them, she'll also be a shapeshifter.
Without wasting a second, Zoey leaves Mira's room, pulling her along with her. The three of them meet halfway. Rumi notices the agitation in her companions, which she's grateful for because it shields her from her own slip-up. She doesn't say anything, and neither do they. Not about the last few minutes. When they speak, it's to excite themselves about their debut, the awards, and the fans. About the throbbing, warm feeling of the Honmoon under their care.
From then on, Rumi saw it, noticed it every moment, the affection and trust between them, between her two companions. They are a trio by design, perhaps divine, but they are a couple by their own choice.
They don't separate her, they don't push her away, Rumi does it for them.
She fakes headaches, doesn't accept half the invitations to go out, whether to the bathhouse or not, and stays up late working on paperwork, both because she's the leader and because the two of them will have time for each other at home, in their tower, away from everyone, even the demons. Even her.
She doesn't ask them and they don't tell her.
Rumi understands, it's not an easy topic to talk about and people might say a lot of unnecessary things.
So the years pass, wonderful and terrible. They are queens, they are at the top.
Rumi thanks them, internally, every day, for continuing to be her friends. She thanks them with her silence, with her care, with her distance. With long glances that manage to hide the longing, but not the affection.
Sometimes Zoey giggles and asks her if she has a mosquito on her face.
Sometimes Mira looks back at her, also in silence.
Rumi responds by telling Zoey how cute or funny she is, and her maknae bursts into laughter, sharing her latest thoughts or telling her how beautiful she is too. Oh, Rumi loves her so much. She can't imagine days without Zoey's bright sunshine in them.
Rumi holds Mira's gaze until she can't anymore, and then the older woman will approach her and perhaps give her a quick hug, a loving bump on the shoulder, refill her drink, or bring her something to eat while she continues working. Rumi can no longer imagine days without Mira's silent attentions.
So she calculates her life minute by minute, between being a ghost and a shapeshifter, so that they don't see her when they share their love, so that they don't notice when jealousy for something she won't have emerges and instead she smiles and is the best friend the universe could design.
But Rumi isn't Wonder Woman. She’s only Half Woman. She can't constantly switch between ghost and shapeshifter. Sometimes she's just a young woman, tired, on edge, with fears that her friends see and don't understand. Zoey doesn't understand how someone so beautiful wants to hide more and more. Mira bristles at the walls, but doesn't insist, because she has her own.
Until Zoey starts to get more nervous, withdrawing, and moving away from Mira, who can't stand it. Rumi has always kept her distance, but not Zoey. She can't do that to her, she can't tolerate it. She can't handle it.
"It's just... I love her too, Mira. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you, it's just that I can't anymore..."
And Mira is so relieved, because she loves Rumi too. She wants them both, to care for and admire.
"Me too, Zoey. I love her and I love you."
Zoey hugs her, throws herself into her arms, crying with joy and relief. But she can't stop crying more, for what they don't have.
"But she doesn't love us. Not like this, right?"
Mira doesn't know how to tell her what she sometimes sees in her leader. That uncertain glow that hides behind her walls like the beautiful full moon behind the clouds.
"Maybe not, but she definitely loves us," she says, somewhat boastfully, silencing her own doubts. She manages to get a laugh out of Zoey.
"She wouldn't dare not love us! We're amazing! We're her friends!" the maknae reinforces.
'Her only friends,' the eldest thinks, with some sadness.
"We are, and it doesn't matter if she doesn't love us back. I don't want you to feel bad for loving her too," she says firmly, between hugs and a kiss at the end.
“I was so confused, Mira”, Zoey adjusts herself between the opposite arms and chest.
“But you don't have to be.”
“Besides, Rumi… Don't you feel like she's pulling away? Like… Like she doesn't want to be with us as much as we want to be with her? I felt it since before”, she felt so safe in Mira's arms, even though they hadn't given a specific name to their bond. “But now I've felt it more, I missed her… and I think that's why… that's why I realized that I want… more, with her too.”
Mira doesn't know how to respond, so she just holds her tighter.
Everything happens, the world is almost ending. And they manage to save it. The three of them, not two, three. Tearing down walls and building bridges, arms wrapped around each other and becoming one, the three of them.
And there's one more thing to say, they can't keep it a secret anymore, all three of them know.
Rumi needs to confess that she was a ghost in the old house with Celine, then she became another ghost in the tower, and also a shapeshifter. She needs to confide in them that she was a ghost and a shapeshifter, as well as a demon. She needs to tell them that she knows, that she understands, and that they don't have to hide from her either.
Mira needs to tell her she's sorry, that she knows she acted without thinking, that she didn't mean to raise her weapon against her. That there are no more walls to break through.
Zoey knows the three of them have to say it—a hug to save the world is fine—but they need to say it. They, who generate power with their songs, with their words, should know better than anyone. They have to express it.
The three of them after their first shared bath, naked in more ways than one, the patterns shimmering from soft white to that pale, clear rainbow. After rejoicing that the three of them are alive and together, without labels… perhaps it's the perfect time to put one on. To express it, at least. With the truth on the table, let it be what it must.
Zoey is the first to hesitate. She throws a rock into the calm pool that was her afternoon at the private bathhouse. The ripples first reach Mira, who's just enjoying herself and observing, as always. Then they reach Rumi, who's overthinking, as she almost always is. The two older girls then focus on their maknae.
Rumi has already put on a robe, still feeling strange being naked and surrounded by other people. She doesn't even tend to be naked any more than absolutely necessary, covering herself immediately. That won't die in a day. Mira is completely naked, her hair loose, her towel forgotten on a bench.
"Zoey, what's wrong?" Rumi asks quickly.
She plays with the towel that kept her hair from getting wet in the hot water. She lets it fall to her arms, as her strands also fall, giving her companions, who very rarely see her like that, a view of her long hair, slightly below her shoulders. But the lyricist doesn't pay attention to her leader, but to the tallest one. Rumi feels a pang, which she immediately tries to suppress. She must tell them that they no longer have to hide from her. Mira gives Zoey the slightest nod, instilling resolve and confidence. All walls must come down.
“Rumi, I want… we have to tell you something”, Mira says to the growing silence.
"No, it's okay, girls," the leader says quickly. "I know, you don't have to tell me anything. It's okay, I know," she says without stopping because she can't stand another second of them thinking they have to hide it. Her gaze flicks from one to the other.
"Do you know?" The little girl drops the towel completely, her hair curling even more due to the humidity.
"What?" Mira jumps in.
"No, no, wait, what do you know?" Zoey insists, even more surprised.
"I... I saw you once. It's okay, it's really nothing!" she said quickly so they couldn't interrupt her. "You don't have to hide anything from me either. We can handle this," she said, raising her hands, letting the sleeves of her robe fall down her arms, to point out the marks on her face, now tinged with pink. "But anyway, it's never been a problem..."
"Rumi, did you see us?" Mira asks again.
"Yes, after the first Idol Awards," she replies in a small voice because no lies are possible anymore.
“Rumi! That was… that was five years ago!” Zoey sits down on the same bench where Mira's towel is, naked too. “Did you always know? That was the first time that happened!”
“But, Rumi, nothing happened after that for a whole year, more than a year.”
“It doesn’t matter, guys. It’s fine,” Rumi insists, though her patterns shift from pink to purple to cobalt.
Mira, she studies, learns, records in her memory.
“And why didn't you say anything?”
"I had nothing to say," Rumi replies, not understanding. "You were together and you were still my friends. What could I say?"
Something started to heat up inside Mira and it wasn't a pleasant heat.
"Is that why you didn't go out with us?" Zoey asks, sadly stepping up to the older girl.
"No... well, sometimes," Rumi admits, finally lowering her gaze to the floor. The heat continues to grow inside Mira. "I thought you two needed quality time together."
"How?" Mira asks in a snarl. Rumi looks at her at the intensity of that single word, though she doesn't understand, still so blind, unable to comprehend. "How could you endure this for so long?" Mira blurts, incredulous and furious, aimless, her voice harshest. Rumi shrinks back. Zoey holds her arm.
The cobalt disappears from the color scheme, replaced by yellow and more purple. Mira backs away, guilt immediately biting at her. She wants the white of peace, the rainbow flecks of plenitude in Rumi's patterns, no other color. She lets Zoey's touch soothe her. She doesn't want to upset her either. Not again. Not any of them.
How can Rumi tell them that she was a ghost, a shapeshifter, and a demon, switching roles from one to the other?
"I'm happy if you're happy," she says somewhat uncertainly, hoping it's the right answer to make Mira feel better.
“Rumi…”
"We want you to be happy, too!" Zoey says passionately, entering the no-man's-land between the three of them. "No more lies, no more sacrifices, no more 'I can do it myself, you two go out'! You don't have to leave us. We love you too. We want to take care of you too." She launches into a hug that nearly knocks them off their feet, and Zoey is on the verge of tears again.
It only takes Rumi half a second to react and return the hug as well. Mira stays behind, watching for a moment longer, watching the purple turn to pink, and then to a tranquil turquoise. Almost the same as the old Honmoon.
"I know, I know now too," Rumi assures Zoey, small tears falling. "I'm happy to be with you all, nothing else matters."
Zoey continues to cry on her shoulder, out of relief, out of despair. So it's Mira who has to speak now, because the pain, the longing in Rumi's eyes screams that she still doesn't understand.
“Rumi, Zoey and I… we love you.”
Everything stops between the two older women, but the maknae lets out a low, stifled sob.
Mira takes two long steps that close the gap and the hug, leaving Zoey in the center because she's the most vulnerable at the moment. Her fire becomes a force of protection, not destruction.
“You are just as important to us…”
Silence falls again because Zoey moves, kisses Rumi. Gently, slowly, without pressure, on the lips. And then she lets go. The three of them remain silent, admiring the same spectacle: Rumi has turned into Christmas lights. Changing from one color to another without stopping.
“Rumi, I'm sorry! Oh, no! What did I do? Mira, I think I broke Rumi! Do you know how to restart a demon? Rumi! Rumi?”
Now it pulses between magenta and yellow again, so Mira does the only thing she can think of. She kisses her too, on the cheek, but even so, she's literally unable to remember the last kiss of any kind she gave Rumi. It's not a common occurrence between them, with so many walls in between. Then Rumi truly shuts down, her knees buckle, and her friends hold her up. And now she's crying again.
“Why? How?”
“Because it's you”, says one.
“Because you're beautiful”, says the other.
"We both love you," Zoey adds, only because Mira said it last time.
They hug each other again.
“Don’t you care…?”
"Nothing, no. Just whatever you want," Mira assures her.
Her heart breaks, just as the previous Honmoon's had. The rainbow speckled slowly returns, and this time Mira and Zoey watch and hold it.
“You don't have to keep hiding”.
"I don't have to be a ghost anymore?" Rumi says unconsciously. Using the word she's always thought of.
"Rumi!" Zoey exclaims, connecting the dots. "Is that why you chose that line for Golden, honey?" She's so sad. How could she not see before?
"Never again," Mira says, squeezing her tighter.
And Rumi rests against their shoulders.
“I just want to be with you.”