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Clark has just finished apprehending a mugger in a dim alley behind a pizzeria and is making his way to Main Street, ready to resume patrol, when his phone buzzes. For a moment, he considers ignoring it, until he sees the name on the screen.
Lois.
He listens out briefly, ensuring that no one is in need before he answers. Given how serious Lois is about her beauty sleep, it must be urgent. Even though they work side by side at the Daily Planet, dating Lois is a unique experience.
Now that he's wiser and less idealistic than he was in Smallville, he can admit he's not always had the most grounded take on relationships. He grew up watching his father help his mother into her coat, taking her on long walks and picnics, and doing all the tried and tested romantic things that littered the pages of ye olde novels.
While none of his relationships have been conventional, Lois is in her own category. She's so used to taking care of herself that she baulks whenever Clark so much as pulls out a chair for her. On one hand, her independence is one thing he admires about her. He wishes she were comfortable being taken care of for once.
The only thing keeping Clark from second-guessing their relationship is how fiercely he wants it. He wants to be around her and talk to her all the time. It's embarrassing how much he needs her, and he worries he's doing what he always does.
Jumping in headfirst, too fast, without taking care.
"Earth to Clark?" Lois's voice sounds in his ear, and he snaps out of his thoughts.
"Lois, is everything alright?" Clark asks. "It's late."
At that moment, a Metropolis PD cruiser speeds past, on its way to pick up the mugger Clark tied up.
"Clark? What is that noise in the background?"
He glances around before he leaps, propelling upwards until he reaches his crow's nest above the city. It's quiet here, allowing him to contemplate without the hustle and bustle of Metropolis nightlife clouding his mind.
"Uh…I'm watching an old rerun of NYPD Blue."
The lie falls from his lips, and Clark pushes past the instant regret. All he wants to do is tell Lois everything, but it would be too fast, too soon. And there's the part where it could put her in danger.
He already feels like he's flying too close to the sun by dating her, but he's been drawn to her for a while now. No longer able to hide his feelings.
Lois snorts. "Yeah, right. You're listening to the police blotter, aren't you? Trying to get ahead at work?"
Clark glances up at the silky, black sky, pushing his vision past the dark expanse to see the stars.
"Not that I don't want to talk to you, but it's four in the morning, Lois. Is everything alright?"
"I wasn't expecting you to pick up." Lois laughs nervously. "I'm being all Emo Lois and replaying conversations over and over. It was something you said a few weeks ago. Before that Evil Archer turned me into a human dartboard."
His eyes flutter shut, and when they open, the stars have vanished from view.
"You mean date number five, and PDA number four?" Clark says. "Not that we're keeping track."
Something thuds in the background on the line, and Clark knows Lois is probably gearing up to dunk her secret stash of Oreos into a glass of milk she'll regret drinking later. He makes a note to bring her some fresh peppermint tea when he arrives at the Planet in a few hours.
"Hey! I was nervous about everything - you can't hold that against me."
"Pretty sure I can, but I won't. I enjoy being on your good side." Clark grins. "What did I say that has you all worked up?"
"Worked up?" Lois scoffs. "That's a gross exaggeration. I'm curious."
"Lois."
There's a long pause, and Clark waits patiently.
"You said you knew we'd become a thing," she says eventually. "And at first, it was like, what every girl wants to hear, and then I thought about it and…"
Lois trails off, and Clark connects the dots in the wake of her sudden silence.
"You thought I was just saying what you wanted to hear?"
"Honestly?" Lois asks. "Yes. And I get it. We all do that in relationships. We put our best foot forward, we're on our best behaviour. We say things we might not mean yet."
Clark hesitates at the uncertainty in Lois's voice. This is his fault for undercutting that farewell - not only did it endanger Lois, it left her questioning him.
"I'd never do that to you." Clark friends. "I meant it."
"Smallville, how could you possibly have known we'd be a thing? Just last year, you were sucking face with Lana. So I heard anyway."
"That was a mistake," Clark says. "One that had nothing to do with you."
"One that happened nonetheless," Lois says. "You know, I get it. You had a lot of history with her. All we had was an almost kiss. I'm not judging you."
"Maybe you should." Clark pauses, choosing his words carefully. "I'm sorry for how I treated you."
"It's okay, Clark. I get it. Lana Lang will always occupy that girl-next-door part of your life. Who wouldn't have wanted another go on the merry-go-round?"
It's one way of putting it, and Clark could justify it in several ways. Chloe was missing. He'd just lost his first battle against Doomsday, and so many people were hurt. His wounded ego was desperately trying to crawl into survival mode. To be around someone who understood him for who he was.
"I remember you wisely deciding not to go there with Oliver."
"Ollie left me," Lois chuckles dryly. "No amount of regret or longing was enough to make me forget how awful that felt. I'm not a masochist, Smallville."
Sensing they're treading dangerous waters, he changes the subject hastily.
"Did you know Lana thought we were together when you first came to Smallville?" Clark asks.
"Back during our halibut and fudge days?" Lois's smirk is practically audible through the phone. "You wish."
"Yeah," Clark laughs. "I told her I thought you were rude, stuck-up and bossy."
"All my good qualities," Lois cuts in, undercutting his words with humour the way she does when she's feeling self-conscious. "I'm sure you sang my praises."
"I told her I couldn't stand you. She thought that was hilarious, and she told me all the good ones start that way. Looking at us now…she was right."
"I don't know, Clark. I can be pretty annoying."
"Lois, what is this really about?" Clark asks. "If you were that concerned about Lana, I'd probably still be angling for a date. What's going on?"
"I know why I like you," she says. "You're always there for me, and you… care about the world and the people in it. To a naïve extent, some might say, but…I don't know. I see you as a ray of sunshine in this waking Scorsese movie that we call life. Yet, I don't know what it is you like about me."
"Where is this coming from?" Clark can't help being disappointed. He thought he'd shown her how much he cared for her.
"New relationship introspection?" Lois sighs. "Most of my relationships start the same way. Some guy likes the way I look in a low-cut shirt, and it spirals from there. We get physical, and any attempt to connect on a deeper level leaves me out in the cold."
There's something about her words that hits a familiar note; his clandestine calls with her as The Blur spring to mind. Lois is always more open, and tonight, it's the first time she's been like this with Clark since they started dating.
After years of banter and sarcasm, it's nice to hear what she thinks about him. To hear how she sees him. And more than anything, he wants to be that ray of light.
"Clark?" Lois's voice is tinged with trepidation, and more than anything, he wants to ensure she leaves this conversation knowing just how much he cares about her.
"I'm here, Lois."
"Kinda wish you were here in my apartment so I could see the look on your face right now."
The temptation to speed over there and cradle her face in his hands, look her in the eye and tell her everything burns bright, and Clark closes his eyes.
There will be time for that, someday. Tonight, it's all about telling Lois what she needs to hear.
"Do you remember that kid, Geoff Johns?"
"How could I forget?" Lois snorts. "He tried to frame me for murder, and when that plan failed, he tried to kill me. All over some black market numero dos. Only in Smallville."
Stifling a grin at her words, Clark remains on track. "After everything was over, you had nowhere to stay, and despite everything, it was second nature to offer to let you stay at the farm. You just had this way of fitting in with me and my parents that no one else did."
"I always thought you hated being roommates with me," Lois says.
"Maybe at first," Clark says. "And then I saw what you looked like in a low-cut shirt."
"Yeah, right, Smallville." Lois snorts. "You're one of the few guys I know who uses their upstairs brain at least seventy percent of the time."
"Only seventy?"
"I grew up on a military base, remember? I know all about the male mind."
"Except for the part where we're crazy about you because you're amazing."
"Yeah, right," Lois says. "You have to say that."
"Lois, I like everything about you, and because I know you need specifics - brace yourself. You saved me before I ever saved you," he says. "You guided me home. You trusted me. You always treated me like I was…Look, you've always understood me in a way that no one has before. And it took me a long time to figure that out. To know that you're the one I want to get it right with.
"Nice callback," Lois says. "And a good answer. Feel free to pour some sugar on it."
Clark grins to himself, picturing Lois curled up on the couch with a teasing smile of her own.
"I like how tenacious you are with a story, and how you're willing to put ambition aside if someone is at stake. You act like you're as tough as nails, but underneath, you've got a gentle soul, and you'll do whatever it takes to protect the people you care about. Those are just some qualities I admire in you."
"You got everything right apart from the bit where I act like I'm tough as nails. I'm a regular G.I. Lane."
"Lois, you've had more near-death experiences than most of Metropolis PD combined. There's a difference between being tough and pissing off the bad guys."
"Mock me all you want, Smallville, but my near-death experience to headline conversion rate speaks for itself."
Laughing, Clark shakes his head. Leave it to Lois to turn her knack for danger into a positive. "Did I at least pass the impromptu late-night boyfriend test?"
"Boyfriend?" Lois laughs shakily. "Steady there, farm-boy. I'll let you know when you've earned that title."
They've decidedly not been calling themselves boyfriend and girlfriend (not for lack of trying on Clark's part). Despite his remark, he's happy to wait. He's given Lois enough reasons to doubt him. He wants to prove that he's all in, forever. He's on her wavelength, and he always will be.
"I'm sure you will," he says.
"I'd better let you go," Lois says. "I'd hate to keep you away from…NYPD Blue, was it? I thought you'd be more of a Cagney and Lacey kind of guy."
His reply is cut off by a yawn on the other end of the line. In truth, Clark hardly remembers the excuse he gave a few minutes ago. With Lois, time seems to exist in a different plane.
"Night, Lois," he says, knowing she'll hate him later if she doesn't get decent sleep.
"Night, Smallville," Lois says. "Thank you for listening to me."
"Anytime, Lois."
The line goes dead, and Clark considers what he didn't say. She's always treated him like he's normal and even her doubts are weirdly comforting. It's not that she doesn't trust him, she just wants to know his feelings are real.
One day, he'll find a way to show her the magnitude of his love for her, to make her see that she's his ray of light (and so much more).
~fin