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Asahina Mafuyu had learned over the past six months she'd been living with Kanade that it didn't take her too long to adapt to Kanade's mannerisms and routines, nor was it particularly difficult to learn when was a good time to discuss things with Kanade and when it was not.
This was her second attempt at living with Kanade, and it... well, there was a part of her that wanted to return to her childhood home where her mother still lived and missed her dearly, but she knew it would only hinder her mother's progress towards becoming a better person (or at least that was what she told herself. Mizuki had insisted that her mother's emotions were not Mafuyu's responsibility nor would they ever be.)
Recently, she'd found herself missing her old home a little less. She was not sure as to the cause; maybe it was that she'd started a nursing program at a decent university and she found herself enjoying the coursework, if that was what she was feeling – there was warmth when she was sitting in class and speaking in her monotone voice with her classmates, who did not judge her on her manner of dress or communication but on her enthusiasm for the work and studiousness. One of her partners on a group project had introduced her to the queer students' meeting group, and she'd gone with him a few times when there was nothing else to do on an afternoon.
There was only one thing she felt... off about.
Because while she was friends with Kanade – how could she not be at this point? – there was an undeniable part of her that wanted to be closer to Kanade. Close enough that they'd kiss; close enough that when they put on music and danced through the kitchen, she could put her hands on Kanade's waist and have Kanade's hands on her shoulder instead of having their hands clasped, their only form of physical contact being their palms and how their fingers were entwined.
Mafuyu wanted to love her.
To hold her close at night and to braid her hair on days off and to kiss her before they went to sleep and after they woke up in the morning. To cook meals with her and to go shopping for ingredients with her.
The thought of it kept her awake at night sometimes. For she had never thought of anyone as she did Kanade in this way, and it scared her when her mind would present her with another incredibly domestic situation that she yearned to experience with Kanade. Going on a trip to Hokkaido, she dreamed one night, and the next day she did research while she was supposed to be writing an essay for her honours biology class because the sight of Kanade in the snow there had stolen her heart on contact and she just-
When the sakura blossoms had been in season, Mafuyu had encouraged Kanade to go outside so they could see the beautiful pink flowers in all their glory, and when they had gone to view the blossoms, she'd taken pictures of Kanade with petals in her hair and when she'd looked over them later, trying to see if any of them were particularly blurry and thus needed to be deleted, she found herself wondering how one person could be so beautiful. How Kanade was so majestic and pretty , and how on earth she managed to reduce Mafuyu to a flustered mess when she wore anything more formal than sleepwear.
A perfect daughter would have felt these things for a boy but Mafuyu was long past being perfect.
In July, they started sharing a bed. Kanade's room had been fitted with air conditioning, but it was proving much more difficult to refit Mafuyu's room to do the same, so while the home renovation people they'd contacted came in and worked as gently as they could to ensure nothing got very destroyed, Mafuyu had to do her coursework and sleep in the same room as Kanade. And since they'd been working on going to bed at an earlier time than three in the morning, they'd often go to bed at the same time , which meant that Mafuyu now spent up to seven hours a day with Kanade curled up into her arms.
Which was a purely platonic thing.
Yes.
Definitely.
Consequentially, Mafuyu was now storing her clothes and other possessions in Kanade's room, which normally didn't cause any problems or confusion. It was just an arrangement they had, and it was temporary, and that was that.
(Mafuyu found herself longing for it to continue on forever because it felt so warm when she was holding Kanade.)
So maybe it had been written in the stars when they'd agreed to this that one day, Mafuyu would come home from her university courses to see Kanade wearing one of her shirts paired with the shorts she almost always wore while making dinner. Humming a soft melody as she did so, pattering through the kitchen as she always did.
Mafuyu took off her shoes, hung her bag on her chair, and changed out of her more formal clothes she wore to classes. Then, after taking a minute to compose herself because Kanade looked so damn captivating in the outfit she was wearing – really this should not have been a surprise by now because Mafuyu was aware that she had fallen hard – she went out into the kitchen to help with the meal prep. Wordlessly, Kanade passed her a knife and a vegetable, and Mafuyu let herself fall into the harmony of the song Kanade had begun.
At this stage of her life, some of Mafuyu's family members – aunts, uncles, one of her grandfathers – had been asking her very pointed questions about whether or not she had plans to settle down, marry a respectable man, and raise a child. And she'd just graduated from high school, so she would always tell them that she hadn't thought about something so far away, and when she thought about it, really she was not sure if she wanted to marry or become a parent.
But if Kanade was the one she was marrying...
... well, Mafuyu had little objection to that thought.
And a child – she doubted she would be a competent parent; she was horrified at the very suggestion that she would be anything like her mother, because she knew how she had turned out and she would never wish that horror on any child. But if her family members insisted, she would consider adoption, she thought. And- it would be selfish, but she would likely ask Kanade for help.
Mafuyu felt a sharp pang on her right index finger and looked down to see blood.
She'd done it again; gotten too lost in her thoughts while preparing food and cut herself. She excused herself from the kitchen and headed to the restroom where they kept the bandages; there she cared for her slight injury and collected herself once more.
Kanade had the gentlest look in her eyes when Mafuyu returned; she took her hand in hers and pressed a kiss to the bandage. Rarely did either of them do such a thing, but it made Mafuyu feel at ease. At home .
Seeing as Kanade could tell there was something on her mind, she insisted on cooking the vegetables while Mafuyu prepared the rice – which was a much simpler task. And in the end, Mafuyu ended up wrapping her arms around Kanade as she cooked, resting her head on her shoulder and continuing the song.
This was the sort of domestic moment she'd dream of at night.
It felt perfect. It was right and so warm and-
"Mafuyu, if you wouldn't mind stepping back so I can take the pan off the stove?"
She did as recommended, allowing Kanade to move as she wished and going to take the rice out of the cooker when its timer beeped. "You're wearing my shirt," she mentioned as they sat down to eat. "It's not an issue."
"I must have mistaken it for one of my own." Kanade blushed. "If you'd like it back, I can-"
"It's fine," Mafuyu said. "You can keep it if you'd like."
Kanade seemed torn between two different answers and settled on saying, "If it's all right with you."
They ate dinner with the same sort of small talk they'd fallen into recently. Questions like how was your day? and what have you eaten today? and how are you? and sometimes would you like to go somewhere this weekend? would flow between them in between bites of food; they sat across from each other at the table, but usually Mafuyu would keep the hand she was not eating with resting on the table in between them and Kanade would take it in her free hand as well. And they were still just friends as far as they knew.
Mafuyu washed the dishes; Kanade dried them and put them away, and by the time all was done, they had come to a silent agreement that they wanted to slow dance. It was one of the things that could technically be considered exercise if enough jumps in logical reasoning were applied and so Mafuyu would never deny it to Kanade.
This time, Mafuyu's hands found Kanade's waist instead of simply clasping both her hands, and Kanade's hands found her neck in return. The music started and they moved in time with the beat, wearing circles in the floor as they drifted from one point to the other. Mafuyu noted how much closer they were now, how Kanade's face was red and she was leaning in even closer . How the space between them felt like they were universes apart.
Kanade took the initiative and stepped nearer to her. Changed the position of her arms so there was barely any space between the two of them and Mafuyu felt better but her mind was still whispering that there was more that could be done.
The specific shirt of hers that Kanade was wearing was a tank top that had a graphic design on it of snowflakes falling into a lake. And she was a sight for sore eyes all the time but especially now that there were so few centimetres left between their lips.
And then, Kanade closed the gap entirely, pressing her lips against Mafuyu's with such tenderness Mafuyu felt as if she was going to ascend to a higher plane of existence. Returning the kiss felt as natural as breathing, as right as living in this home, and her mind couldn't think of anything that could be better than this until-
Until Kanade slipped her tongue inside Mafuyu's mouth and she was gone.
The only thing Mafuyu was conscious of doing after that was pulling Kanade closer to her and returning her kisses, always, always and forever, at least until they both had to pull away to catch their breath.
What were you supposed to say after you kissed someone? Ena had brought the topic up for discussion a few months ago and though Mizuki had given her a couple of joke answers, no one had been able to really find a concrete thing to say. Nothing that wasn't extremely personalized and that which required situational context.
So Mafuyu hugged Kanade instead of finding the right words to say.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
No matter how many words it took to say that, Mafuyu would etch them onto her heart over top of much more cruel engravings until they covered every sad thing she had immortalized in her mind and filled her soul with warmth and love.
That night, after their Nightcord meeting with Mizuki and Ena, Mafuyu lay in their shared bed, Kanade half on top of her. She ran a hand through Kanade's hair and pressed kisses all over her face and it felt so right she wanted to proclaim it from the heavens so everyone she knew would be in on the secret.
For hours now, she'd had a smile on her face that was so real she marvelled at how far she'd come since she'd moved back in. And since she'd had her camera on during the meeting, Ena had been rightly unnerved by the fact that she was so happy but both she and Mizuki had offered her their congratulations on whatever it was that had made her grin so and high-fived when Kanade had kissed Mafuyu on the cheek, though apparently Mizuki now owed Ena forty-eight thousand yen from a bet they'd made.
Kanade seemed to have fallen asleep based on the cadence of her breathing and the way she clung to Mafuyu so tightly.
"Sleep well," Mafuyu whispered.
Soon she fell into the land of dreams as well, and this time, all of them seemed like scenes out of her life from the future. If she could continue this life with Kanade – well, she would fall in love with her a thousand times over again if it meant they could stay together.
The thought of it made her heart flutter in the best way possible.