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When Tim got injured, even before he opened his eyes, he already knew the damage. He felt that his leg was in a cast, his ribs were probably bruised since every breath he took hurt, and his head was pounding. Could be worse , he thought. But when he opened his eyes, it was worse. Now, the cast, the bruised ribs, and the headache felt insignificant compared to what he had lost.
***
“Shit,” Tim cursed when he heard the sound of something falling. He had no idea what it was; all he knew was that something hit the floor loudly.
“Careful,” Genny’s footsteps hurried toward him. She bent to pick it up. “Here, let me help you.”
“I don’t need help with brushing my teeth,” he groaned, agitated about his inability to do simple things.
“You do,” she replied firmly but warmly. “Tim, you lost your sight. Your doctor said that it might take a while for you to get used to things.”
“I don’t care what he said.” Tim snatched the toothbrush from Genny’s hand. “I don’t want to feel like a disabled person.”
He heard it in Genny’s silence; suddenly, he didn’t need his vision to know exactly the thing that was left unsaid.
You are now.
“Look,” Genny started as he was brushing his teeth. Seizing the perfect opportunity to make him listen while he was unable to talk. Even while blind, he was successful in running away from these conversations easily. “I know not being able to go back to work is hard enough, but now you have to accept that you need more help.”
“I don’t need any help,” he insisted through the foam in his mouth.
“Yes, you do.” This time, her voice carried exhaustion. Only then did he realize just how much of a burden he was to Genny. His life wasn’t the only one that got flipped upside down.
“I can’t stay here forever,” she continued quietly. “I need to go home to the boys. But I can’t leave you without worrying if you might hurt yourself.”
Tim didn’t say anything. He just spat the toothpaste in the sink and reached out for the faucet, but his hand hit the cup instead. Genny turned it off for him. He hated it when she was right.
“I saw this ad for people who help those like you to adjust. Like help to clean the house, do laundry, cook food-“
“Go to the toilet,” Tim finished for her. Turning to face her- hoping to face her, he continued. “Go home to your kids, Genny. I’ll manage.”
“I’m not leaving until I know someone is here to help you.”
“You’re annoyingly stubborn.”
“Learned that from my older brother,” Genny said, and Tim could hear the smirk in her voice.
“I don’t like the idea of a stranger living in my house. With me.”
“Then we’ll have interviews,” she offered, sounding a little more hopeful. “I won’t just let anyone take care of you.”
Tim held on to the sink and slowly inhaled, weighing out his options. Being injured, with his leg in a cast, while being blind wasn’t exactly easy. He could admit that much - he needed help. But making Genny take care of him wasn’t fair to her. If hiring help would make his sister rest, he was willing to do it. Swallow his pride and everything.
“Fine,” Tim painfully agreed. “But I have the final say on who helps me.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way!” Genny beamed and hugged her brother. “Thank you.”
Over the next few days, Genny called around and asked some people to come by for a conversation that was actually just an evaluation. Tim was starting to get tired of this circus.
“Why did you choose to help people?” Genny asked a young man who put out the ad. From what she had said, he was a young guy, around 20, a little edgy, but nothing that would send alarm bells in her mind.
“Honestly, I just need the money,” he said.
Pass.
“How long have you been doing this job?”
“All my life,” an elderly woman said. “I know all the knick-knacks of things. You know, Tim looks just like my son.”
As soon as the door closed behind her, Tim said flatly from his couch. “I don’t want someone to mother me.”
Pass.
“How far away do you live?”
“4 hours away.”
Pass.
“Do you have any questions for us?”
“Yes,” a man said matter-of-factly, “What are my working hours like? Because I have another job and I sometimes need to get away for a few days.”
Even though he couldn’t see her, Tim managed to aim a look at Genny that said everything.
Pass.
This was going horribly so far. Tim was ready to call it and end this nightmare. They had seen more than 10 people already, and each seemed worse than the last one. But Genny didn’t want to give up. She begged and begged Tim to give this girl one last try. A young woman, Lucy Chen, late twenties. She’s had some caregiving experience, but little else to speak of.
A woman in her late twenties who’s just doing this? Tim wasn’t convinced.
But then she came to talk to them, and even though he couldn’t see her, her voice sounded gentle, soft, and caring. All the qualities one might need for this kind of job. He just hoped that she would turn out to be like that in her personality, too.
“What was your last experience like?” Tim asked suddenly, taking both Lucy and Genny by surprise as they went quiet for a beat. Until now, Tim hadn’t said a word. Even in the previous interviews.
“Uh,” Lucy stumbled for a moment and chose her next words carefully while she was working around a lump in her throat. “It was a heavy situation. I worked with an older woman until she passed away in her sleep. Quietly.”
“Sorry for your loss,” Genny said gently.
“Thank you.”
“Are you sure you can separate this from your emotions and personal life?” Without missing a beat, Tim asked.
“I’m not a robot,” Lucy said defensively. “I’m not gonna talk about my boyfriends with you if that’s what you’re worried about, but I’m not gonna shy away from showing that I care about what I do.”
“So you have a boyfriend,” Tim concluded.
“Why is this relevant?”
“It’s not,” Genny cut in sharply, shooting her brother a glare before she turned back to Lucy with a smile. “Sorry about him. You are wonderful, and we will give you a call when we make a decision.”
After Genny let Lucy out, she was quick to gush about just how much she loved Lucy. It was starting to sound like she was trying to convince him not to make a decision with her.
“You have to admit that out of everyone, she was the best one.”
Tim leaned back on the couch, rubbing a hand over his face. “She was fine.”
“She looked fine ,” Genny teased. “But she was more than fine, Tim. She’s experienced, she’s smart, funny, cute-“
“It sounds like you are reading from a dating profile.”
“Fine,” she huffed. “She knows what to expect from this. She can clearly put you in place. Also, what the hell was that about personal life?”
“I need to know her head is in the right place. I’m blind, Genny. I’m sure there is a documentary out there about someone using someone's blindness for their own advantage.”
Genny rolled her eyes. Tim just knew it. Felt it even. Or maybe he just knew that what he said earned an eye roll.
“She doesn’t look like someone who would do that. I can call the people she has previously worked with and learn about how she was with them, but I don’t think it’s necessary.”
“You really trust her like that?”
“I do,” Genny said firmly. “I feel like I can trust you with her.”
“Trust me ?”
“She’s nice, you’re gruff.”
Tim chuckled. “Point taken.”
After a moment, Genny asked. “So? Can I call her?”
Maybe he still wasn’t sure if he could trust this Lucy, but if Genny was on board, then Tim was willing to risk it. The only reason why he agreed was that single thought - he was scared of doing this alone, and he needed help.
“Yes, you can call her.”
***
Pancakes.
The first thing Tim became aware of when he woke up. It smelled like pancakes. He thought that it was weird, considering Genny had said she’d be meeting Lucy that morning. But then he heard the soft humming coming from his kitchen. He slowly got up and made his way to where the sound and the delicious smell were coming from. He still bumped into the doorframe, but steadied himself quickly.
“Good morning,” he heard the unmistakable voice of Lucy. Light and cheery. It sounded sunny, and he found himself wondering if the sun was out too.
“Morning,” he said slowly. “What are you doing here?”
“Your sister gave me the key and said that I can come over. Didn’t she tell you?”
She had definitely told him something else.
“No, I guess she did. Must’ve slipped my mind.”
“That’s okay. You come over and sit down. I made breakfast.”
“You didn’t have to do that,” he replied, blindly trying to reach for a chair. He struggled a bit, but then felt a warm hand guide his arm closer to the chair.
“There you go,” Lucy said softly in his ear. The unexpected closeness sent goosebumps up his arms. Thank god for long-sleeve shirts.
“And helping you out with breakfast is part of why I’m here, so I did have to,” she added with a smile in her voice.
Tim reached for the fork, felt where the pancakes were still warm on the plate, and dug in. “Simple cereal could’ve been fine.”
“Right,” she quipped. “Cause the nutritional value of that is exactly what you need.”
Tim didn’t say anything in return; he just took a bite of the pancakes. They were good. Like really good.
Meanwhile, Lucy was still working in his kitchen. Washing the dirty dishes, placing everything into its place (hopefully), and taking his empty plate away from him. It didn’t feel like she was uncomfortable in his space. But maybe it was something she was just good at. Compartmentalizing. For Tim, it didn’t come as easily. Sure, on the job, he was a master of it, but making himself comfortable in someone else's space felt very much like invading their privacy, and he hated it. Lucy didn’t. She was confident. When Tim needed help with finding something, Lucy had no trouble going through his drawers. When she had a phone call she needed to take, she had no problem excusing herself and stepping into a room for some privacy. When she was making them lunch, she had no trouble taking out his products from the fridge to cook something, once again, very delicious. Maybe he should be concerned, but instead, he was relieved; relieved that he didn’t have to make an effort to make her feel comfortable. She was doing her job, and she was being professional about it.
What he was still struggling with, however, was the way she didn’t sound intimidated by him. She didn’t flinch at his sharpness or get annoyed by his stubbornness. Worse, he was starting to actually listen to her, even when every instinct told him not to.
“Get up, let’s walk around the house,” Lucy said, while tapping his leg. He was sitting comfortably, listening to the sports recap, when Lucy turned off the TV and started annoying him.
“Walk around the house? Seriously?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Yes,” she replied, simply not caring about his resistance. “You need to get familiar with the space.”
“It’s my own house. I’m familiar with it.”
“Not while blind,” she countered. “You lost a sense that you have been relying on for all of your life. Now, without it, you are swimming without knowing how to do it. You need to feel the space around you, and it’s not gonna work by sitting on the couch.”
As much as he didn’t want to admit it, she made sense. So, with a deep sigh that came deep from his chest, he got up and listened carefully to what Lucy was telling him.
“Lead me to your bedroom,” she instructed.
“You are straightforward,” he muttered, feeling the corners of his lips twitch upward. “Usually there’s dinner first.”
“Funny,” Lucy said sarcastically before she continued. “I’m not going to spend the night here with you to help you, so I need to know that you can go to your bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, and the exit without running into things and hurting yourself.”
“Right.”
With careful steps, not rushing anywhere, Tim tried to make his way to his bedroom. He traced his fingers on the wall and tried to remember what it looked like. The hallway, the painting on the wall, the guest bedroom, a space of blank wall-
Ouch!
“Careful. The plant,” Lucy reminded him behind his back. Right, he forgot about the house plant Angela had made him buy as a nice touch to make the place look a little bit more like home and a little bit less like a place.
Finally, he felt the door to his bedroom and walked in. He stepped inside until his knees bumped the mattress.
“Not awful for the first time, but definitely room to improve,” Lucy said, like it was an evaluation of his ability to know his own home.
“Not awful doesn’t sound very inspiring.”
“Your sister said that you don’t like it when people go easy on you, so why would I do it now?”
“I’m blind,” he pointed out, half hoping it would win him some ground.
“Which means you’ll have to work harder. And I’ll make sure you do.”
“Then what am I paying you for?”
“For guiding you through this transition,” she said. “I’m not a monster. And I’m not here to babysit. You don’t strike me as the type who’d tolerate that anyway. I’ll help you, but I will also help you to work through new routines so you can become independent.”
Tim chuckled since she hit the nail on the head. Maybe hiring Lucy wasn’t the worst idea Genny ever had. “Where to next? The bathroom?”
“Yes,” Lucy smiled and watched as he turned around and made his way to the bathroom. This time without running into anything.
***
As Lucy said, Tim graduated from walking around the house to walking around the neighborhood. Now that his cast was off and he was starting to move around the house more confidently, the next step was going outside, where he couldn’t rely completely on his memory of where everything was. Even though with years on patrol, Tim knew LA like the back of his hand.
“I’m not talking about whether you know where the street is,” Lucy explained, keeping pace beside him. “I’m talking about walking and not running into a trash can that magically appeared, or bumping into a person that decided to stop in the middle of the sidewalk, or slipping on a banana peel. Those are things you can’t predict,”
Tim’s grip tightened on his cane. “I feel like everyone is watching me.”
The thing is that Tim has avoided going outside ever since the accident. He hadn’t set foot beyond his backyard. And getting familiar with the space around him within the privacy of his own house was making it easier. Lucy was making it easier. She gave him encouragement and praised him for even the smallest of victories. Little by little, Lucy made him feel a little bit better about himself. And along the way, he was starting to get to know her. He learned what made her laugh, what frustrated her, even if she thought he didn’t notice, and learned some of her values by what she had told him about herself. Slowly, he realized that he was starting to like her.
“No one is looking at you except for me,” Lucy said with a smile he could recognize now just by sound. Lately, she’s been smiling more often. And he found himself wondering what her smile looked like.
“That might be even more pressure.”
“Why?” Lucy asked, surprised. “I’ve been working with you for a while now.”
“I don’t want to let you down,” he admitted, suddenly feeling shy. “I don’t want to ruin the progress.”
“You can’t disappoint me. This. Right here. Already is progress, Tim. Like I said, you graduated, which means new challenges. And look at you know. You haven’t stepped in poop so far.”
“That’s encouraging,” he chuckled.
“Great!” She bumped into his shoulder, light, playful, which made him smile.
“So while I’m trying to dodge poop and other obstacles, entertain me. Tell me the craziest thing you’ve seen on this job.”
Lucy hummed. “I can’t tell you anything. Confidentiality.”
“I’m not asking you to name-drop. Just a little story.”
“To make yourself feel better?” Lucy asked, giggling slightly.
“Wow,” Tim gasped dramatically. “You really have the best impression of me.”
“Okay, fine,” Lucy said and went quiet for a moment, thinking of what to tell him. “One time, I was letting someone cook on their own for the first time. And they were so happy about it. Excited for me to try their food. When they handed me a spoonful… I realized the entire lid of the pepper shaker had fallen in. All I got was pepper.”
“Lucy,” Tim sighed, even though his lips twitched upward. “That happened to me.”
“I know,” she said cheerfully. “That’s what you get for being nosy.”
“You’re evil,” he teased, but heard her giggle next to him.
***
Cooking was still a minefield. Not because he didn’t know where everything was, or how much salt to put in. He was even being careful every time he used the pepper shaker. What made it challenging was how nervous he still was. His hands shook whenever he dropped food into a hot pan, afraid of burning himself. They shook every time he had to drain the pasta water. And now, because of his nerves, the soy sauce he was reaching for in his upper cabinet got knocked over and ended up spilling all over his shirt. That was it. He felt like a failure. Without a word, he stormed off to his bedroom, ignoring Lucy’s voice telling him it was okay.
He yanked off his shirt and tossed it blindly somewhere across the room. He didn’t care where it landed. He would trip over it in a few days, anyway, and then he’ll deal with it.
“Tim,” Lucy called out for him, and before he knew it, the door cracked open. “Oh, sorry.”
Only then did he realize that he was standing shirtless in front of her. He blushed a little but still felt anger seeping through his veins.
“Get out,” he told her, but of course, she was stubborn enough to go against his wishes and instead stepped closer to him.
“Tim,” she whispered.
And then, light as a breath, her fingertips brushed his stomach. His heart jumped. Cheeks burned. And he was too scared to speak.
Oh.
“The bruises,” Lucy whispered again.
Tim made a confused face, “Bruises?”
“You have bruises everywhere on your stomach,” she said gently, fingertips grazing one. “Some are big. Are you still running into things?”
“Sometimes,” he quietly admitted in the space between them. Still hyper aware of her fingers on his skin. His breath hitched when she touched a particularly painful spot. The pain reminded him just when and where he got the bruise.
“That I got when I tried to do laundry after you went home.”
He heard Lucy exhale, maybe a little disappointed. “You don’t like asking for help, do you?”
“No.”
“That’s why you had to interview 10 people before you hired me?”
“How do you-”
“Genny,” Lucy explained, and Tim just about sighed, annoyed.
“You and my sister should stop talking. I can’t trust her with not spilling my embarrassing childhood stories.” Even though he was trying to make light of things, he found himself still worried about that part. He’s not even sure why he cared so much.
And when Lucy giggled, that affectionate sound he loved to hear so much, he got even more scared. “She may have told me some things.”
“I hate her,” Tim muttered.
“It’s nothing horrible,” she giggled once again. “She just mentioned the time you tried to sneak your hamster into class in your pants.”
“That’s the worst one!” He exclaimed, horrified.
“Not as bad as you hurting yourself because you’re afraid to ask for help,” Lucy said gently, handing him a clean shirt from his drawer.
Tim hesitated, fingers brushing the fabric. For some reason, he wanted to listen to her. So he promised himself to break down his walls a little for her. He just hoped that it wouldn’t stab him in the back later. The walls were there for a reason.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll try better and ask for help when it’s necessary.”
“That’s good,” Lucy smiled and took a step back. But there was a moment. Tim was sure of it. Even if he couldn’t see it, he knew that Lucy hesitated before she stepped out of the room.
***
Usually, Lucy came to his house around 8 AM, helped him with breakfast, then helped him throughout the day, getting comfortable with his everyday routines, and later, around 7 PM, she headed home. Lately, though, she had been leaving a little later. Tim didn’t mind. In fact, he liked it because it meant that she would stay and talk to him on the couch for a couple of hours. Once, their conversation had stretched so long that Lucy realized it was nearly 2 AM before she left. That night, Tim had offered for her to stay for the night in his guest room, but she had declined. That’s when he remembered she had a boyfriend, and staying at another guy’s house probably wasn’t the best idea.
Still, he always seemed to forget about that when she stayed to talk to him. Even now, as she sipped her glass of wine while he was enjoying whiskey, the thought of her relationship barely lingered.
“Why this job?” Tim asked her the one question he was starting to wonder about more often now.
Lucy swirled the wine in her glass and sighed, leaning her head sideways. “I just love that I can help people.”
“Yeah, but you are smart and capable enough to go to college, get a degree, and help people in other ways.”
“Careful, Tim,” Lucy teased. “You’re starting to sound like you might actually like me.”
The words slipped past his lips without him being able to stop them. “I do like you,”
When Lucy didn't say anything, Tim was scared that he might’ve said the wrong thing. All he heard was her shifting on the couch. Was she uncomfortable? He tried to think of a way to make it better, but nothing came to mind. He didn’t want to lie to her. He did like her. She was nice, funny, smart, caring, and empathetic.
But Lucy changed the subject instead. “I have thought about going to college, but I like what I do,” she said, her voice casual now. “When I was 16, I was trying to look for a job, but I couldn’t find anything. Then my mom found a lady who needed help with her daughter. Helping and ensuring that people with these disabilities could go about their day just like every other person made me happy. I’m not really looking for anything else right now.”
“So you like to help people,” Tim said, smiling since that made him like her even more.
“Yup!” She popped the p. “Even those who don’t want my help.”
Tim chuckled. “I’m getting better at asking for help, though.”
“You are,” she agreed, squeezing his hand quickly before letting go. “And what do you do for a living? I've been working for you what? 4 months and I still know close to nothing about you.”
“I’m- I was a cop.” Correcting himself was painful, since the pain of not being able to go back to work still stung. “Now, I'm without a job and I’m still trying to get comfortable with being blind.”
“Don’t go too hard on yourself,” Lucy scooted closer, setting down her wine glass, and reached for his hand again. She held it between hers, and just like that, it felt harder for him to breathe. “You’ve come a long way. You've made progress, and you should be proud of yourself. Just a little more time, and then you won’t need me here anymore.”
Tim frowned. He couldn't imagine a future knowing that Lucy wouldn't be there to hum while she was doing something, or she wouldn’t be there to accompany him at the end of the day.
“I’m sure your boyfriend will be happy when that day comes. No more staying late and keeping me company, so I don’t go insane.”
“Boyfriend?” Lucy asked, confused.
“Don’t you have a boyfriend?”
“No,” Lucy said quickly, shaking her head. “Have I ever mentioned one before?”
Tim suddenly felt heat crawl up his cheek. “Yeah, when you were here for the first time, you told me that I don’t have to worry about your boyfriends.”
Lucy laughed. Full belly laugh. “I didn’t mean that I have an actual boyfriend, Tim. With all my time working, I don’t really have time to go and meet people.”
And maybe it was the whiskey that made him braver and gave him the courage to compliment her again. “That’s a shame. Anyone would be lucky enough to have you as their girlfriend.”
Though Tim couldn’t see it, Lucy’s cheeks flushed, and she ducked her head to hide it. “Same goes to you,” she said quietly.
***
Tim was screwed. He was majorly screwed. The kind of screwed he hadn’t been in a long time. The kind of screwed he didn’t want to be because that meant only one thing: he was starting to catch feelings for Lucy.
Ever since he found out she was single last week, she’d been on his mind nonstop. At night, as he went to bed, he thought about how excited he was to see her. And by morning, he was restless, waiting for her to walk through the door.
He was falling for her, and it terrified him.
And it terrified Lucy, too.
She had promised herself that she would always stay professional. But then she saw Tim for the first time and almost cursed when she saw just how good-looking he was. A tiny crush was one thing. She could handle that. But the more she spent time with him, she realized that this wasn’t just about his looks anymore. It was about who he was. And that might be the most dangerous part. Now, upon realizing it, she was desperately trying to find ways to find flaws in him, only to find more reasons why she had feelings for him.
With all these realizations, they found themselves in moments that felt charged. Even a simple favour could turn into something that left both of them breathless and a little scared.
“Hey, Lucy?” Tim stepped into the living room, where Lucy was folding Tim’s laundry.
“Yeah?” She looked up.
“Can you help me wash my hair?” He hated how silly he sounded. Almost shy. Asking for help was still a struggle for him.
Lucy bit her lower lip, trying to hide her smile. “You finally realized you got syrup in your hair?”
Tim sighed, defeated. “Don’t tell me you knew all this time.”
“I… did,” she admitted. “But it took you only 2 hours to notice.”
“Will you help me or make fun of me?”
“I’ll help you, I’ll help you,” Lucy chuckled as she pushed on his shoulders, guiding him to the bathroom.
There, Tim settled down beside the tub while she stood over him and turned on the shower head. She made sure to make the water warm. Not too hot or cold. The perfect temperature. She let the water cascade gently over his hair, combing her fingers through the strands. Tim tried to focus on literally anything else. Anything but the way her fingertips pressed lightly against his scalp, or the heat of her presence hovering over him.
She took his shampoo and worked it into his hair. Leaning down, she lost her balance for a second. But Tim was right there to steady her by putting his hands on her hips. Her movement faltered. Shampooing his hair was instantly forgotten when her gaze dropped to where his fingers pressed against her.
“Are you good?” Tim asked her a little quietly, since her hands had stopped, and he was holding on to her hips. Fearing that he had overstepped, he started to pull back, but Lucy gently placed her hands over his, stopping him.
“I’m okay,” she whispered, her voice choking up and sounding just as affected by their proximity as he felt.
Slowly, she rinsed his hair, and he remained holding her, unable to let go. Finally, when she dried his hair with the towel, she was so close to him that he could feel her breath on his skin. Unconsciously, he leaned forward, and their noses brushed. Lucy inhaled shakily but didn’t move. Her hands stilled again, and his grip on her tightened so much that he pulled her closer to him. Their foreheads touched, and Tim hoped that this was the moment he could close the gap and explore the sparks that sizzled between them. Sparks, he was sure, she felt too.
“You’re done,” Lucy whispered, still resting her forehead on his.
“Thanks,” he whispered back, his voice hoarse.
She slowly straightened and helped him to get up from the floor. She handed him the towel and took a cautious step back, creating space between them since the sparks were starting to make her dizzy. She didn’t want to acknowledge what had just happened; therefore, she stuck to a much safer subject.
“I already talked to Genny about this, but I got invited to a wedding, so I’ll need to go away for a few days. She said she could come over while I’m gone.”
“Wedding?” Tim cleared his throat, his mind spinning from the abrupt change. “Like a destination kind of thing or?”
“Yeah, destination. My friend’s getting married.”
“That’s nice,” he said awkwardly.
“Yeah,” Lucy nodded slowly. “So can I go?”
“Of course. Enjoy the fun,” he said, forcing himself to sound casual.
“Thanks,” Lucy smiled even though he couldn’t see it, and left Tim alone in the bathroom, utterly confused but still longing to learn the softness of her lips.
***
Cataract surgery.
The surgery his doctor had mentioned during his checkup, which ultimately gave him hope of seeing again. Seeing the world outside him. Seeing where he was going, what he was picking up. Seeing the game on his TV. Seeing Genny’s kids grow up.
Finally, seeing what Lucy looked like.
Tim was supposed to go for just a casual checkup. And since Lucy was at her friend's wedding, Genny went with him. They both sat at the office when the doctor noticed something. Tim’s vision had somehow improved, and then he mentioned cataract surgery. Upon explaining, for the first time ever, Tim felt hopeful. They scheduled the surgery, and now he and Genny were heading home, both a little in shock and quietly excited about the news.
“What is the first thing you’re gonna do when you can finally see?” Genny asked Tim while driving.
“Probably look around the hospital room where I’ll be staying,” Tim replied flatly.
“Oh, c’mon. You know what I meant. What are you most excited to see?” Genny rolled her eyes since Tim was being annoying.
“The last Dodgers game sounded epic.”
She narrowed her eyes, not buying what he was selling. “Mmm, you’re not being truthful.”
“How am I not being truthful?”
“I think there is something- or might I say someone you’d want to see more than the Dodgers game,” Genny teased.
Tim didn’t react. Tried not to react. “I have no idea what you’re trying to say.”
“Sure. So you don’t care about seeing Lucy?”
If Tim could, he would glare at her. Give her a side eye. Show her just how much this meddling annoyed him.
“You two have a vibe. Just Friday, when I came over and interrupted your flirting at the kitchen, there definitely was a vibe.”
“We were not flirting,” Tim denied, even though he wasn’t sure of it himself. Sure, Lucy had laughed at something he’d said, and he loved hearing it, but flirting? He wasn’t sure.
“Fine. But she looks at you.”
That got Tim’s interest. “Looks at me? Looks at me like what?”
“Oh my god,” Genny gasped, grinning ear to ear. “You are so into her.”
“Shut up,” Tim muttered, heat rising on his cheeks.
“No, no, no,” she chuckled. “Tell me.”
“Tell you what?”
“If you have feelings for her.”
Tim wasn’t exactly sure how far away from the house they were, but since it was just about 10 minutes after they drove off, Tim knew he still had to spend time with Genny in the car. No escape. Nothing.
“I-” Tim struggled with admitting it, and the next string of words was told quietly. “I-might-have-developed-some-small-totally-not-important-feelings-for-her.”
“I knew it!” Genny shrieked so loud, Tim jumped in his seat. “You are totally smitten by her. Every time I’ve seen you two together, you’re smiling more.”
Despite himself, Tim smiled, but quickly tried to hide it. “Whatever. You said she… looks at me?”
Genny smirked. “She does. She clearly has feelings for you, too. So maybe, I don’t know, tell her how you feel.”
“I can’t just tell her how I feel.”
“Why not?”
“Because she cares about the people she works with. I don’t want to start something when she feels nothing but empathy and pity for me.”
“I don’t think this is that. I think this is real. I wouldn’t look at someone with that much warmth if it were just empathy.”
Tim didn’t say anything. He wanted to drop it because the idea of confessing his feelings felt scarier than the possibility of the surgery failing. So instead, he asked his sister the one thing he was thinking about every single day. Wondering and trying to imagine. “Can you- tell me what she looks like?”
A little smile formed on Genny’s lips before she told him exactly what she looked like. Telling him about her long, wavy brown hair, her deep chocolate brown eyes, and even her warm smile that made her cheeks glow.
She sounded beautiful.
***
Lucy was back, and so was the tension. Tim couldn’t ignore how she seemed to be keeping her distance from him. Every time he moved closer to her, she took a step back and excused herself. It was starting to get frustrating, because what he wanted more than anything was a moment with her where he could feel the sparks and then finally admit that one thing that was sitting heavily on his chest.
He still hadn’t told her about the surgery.
The thought of it terrified him because if the surgery went well, he could see, and she wouldn’t have a reason to come here anymore. She would leave, and he’d never see her again. But he wanted to see her, so he wondered if he would ask her to come to visit him at the hospital after the surgery, would she show?
He hoped she would. Hoped that he didn’t feel this way alone.
But the moment didn’t come, and today was the day before his surgery. And he had to tell her now. She had to know.
At exactly 7 PM, Lucy was ready to head home. Keys in hand, jacket draped over her arm, she was halfway to the door when Tim finally blurted, “I have a surgery tomorrow.”
Lucy stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned around to look at him, where he was sitting on the couch.
“What?”
“I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Tim admitted, his voice low. “I just didn’t know how. Or when.”
Lucy set down her jacket and the car keys and walked over to sit on the couch with him. “What kind of surgery?”
“Probably one that will restore my vision,” he admitted, trying to crack a smile but still feeling his heart thundering inside his chest.
Her eyes widened. “Completely?”
“Completely.”
Lucy’s breath caught in her throat at the implication of what that meant. Not many people got that kind of chance, and here he was, one of the lucky ones to possibly have the chance to see again. She was so happy for him that the next thing she knew, she was hugging Tim, squeezing him. And Tim couldn’t help but wrap his arms around her, too. This was the first time he hugged her, and feeling her in his arms felt better than he could’ve ever imagined. He didn’t want to let go, but he did when he felt her pulling away.
“How are you feeling?” Lucy asked.
“Nervous,” he admitted, not shying away from being vulnerable. “But excited.”
“I bet you are. You’ll finally be able to see the Dodgers game you made me narrate to you.”
Tim chuckled before he turned serious. “I’m only excited about one thing.”
“Oh, really? And what’s that?” Lucy asked, though a wild, impossible hope had already started to bloom in her chest that made her feel crazy for even allowing herself to think about it.
“Seeing you,” he quietly admitted and said exactly what Lucy was secretly hoping he would say.
“I’m not that interesting to look at,” Lucy ducked her head as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“I’ve heard the opposite.” Genny hadn’t shut up about how beautiful Lucy was. “Can I do something?”
Lucy’s gaze lifted. “Do what?”
“Close your eyes.” He shifted closer until his knee brushed against her thigh. “Don’t be scared.”
Lucy’s pulse jumped, but she obeyed. She didn’t know what he intended until she felt his fingertips touch her forehead. Slowly, gently, they moved along her skin, following the line of her brows, from where they started to where they ended. Then they drifted lower until they brushed her eyelashes. He lingered there, memorizing the curve of her eyes, then moved down the slope of her nose. His touch slid to her cheeks, warm and careful, until his fingers found her jaw. He traced the sharp line until finally, his fingers moved up to trace the curve of her bottom lip. The moment his fingers touched her lips, her breath caught entirely. He was learning how she looked, and that almost made her melt completely for him. His touch was slow and delicate. He took time mapping every feature of her face. She noticed that he returned his fingers to her eyes and whispered to her that he knew they were brown, then he retraced her nose, her jaw, before returning again and again to her lips, as if he was drawn to them. Lucy knew that there was a better way to learn more about them, but she was scared to make that move.
Tim wanted to kiss her. He wanted to know what it felt like to kiss her. What her soft lips would feel like on his. So with his hand still cupping her jaw, he guided her face closer. He hesitated, but leaned closer to finally capture her lips between his. He kissed her slowly, hoping not to scare her. It wasn’t long, but it was enough to tilt his entire world on its axis. He knew that he would cling to this memory.
When he drew back, he kept his hand against her jaw, unwilling to let her go. Finally, he asked her. “Can you come to visit me before and after the surgery?”
Lucy frowned. “Why before?”
“Genny’s gonna be a mess, and I need one stable person in there.”
“Who said I won’t be a mess?”
“Would you?” he asked.
Lucy shrugged as she scooted back, putting a little space between them. “Of course. I care about you.”
Tim’s heart fluttered. He hoped she meant it the way he understood it. “So I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“You’ll see me tomorrow,” she promised.
And then she left. For the rest of the night, Tim couldn’t fall asleep. Not because he was scared about the surgery or wondering about the result, but because he had kissed Lucy, and somehow that felt life-changing.
***
Just like Tim expected, Genny was pacing the room, trying to make sure that he was alright, that he wasn’t nervous, and that he once again was fine.
But Tim wasn’t fine.
Lucy had promised to show up before the surgery, but she wasn’t there. Tim was kicking himself for kissing Lucy yesterday. He probably scared her off and ruined everything. At this point, he didn’t even care about the surgery; all he cared about was what Lucy was thinking and if there was a way to fix it.
“Alright, Tim.” The doctor came into the room, clapping his hands together. “Ready to see the world around you again?”
“Sure,” Tim murmured. The doctor shot a questioning glance at Genny, but she only shrugged, clueless about the reason for Tim’s sour mood.
“Alright then,” the doctor slowly said. “Let’s get you to surgery.”
“Wait,” Tim heard Lucy’s voice suddenly come into the room. “Hi, Tim.”
“Hey,” Tim smiled, relieved that after all Lucy had shown. She’d come. She was here. But there were too many people in the room with them. “Can you guys give us a minute?”
“We’re about to wheel you to the surgery,” the doctor reminded him.
“Just a minute, I swear,” Tim pleaded.
The doctor sighed. “Fine. A minute and that’s it.” He and Genny stepped out, leaving Tim and Lucy alone.
“I thought you might not show up,” Tim admitted quietly, holding out his hand for her.
“Sorry,” Lucy whispered as she slid her hand into his. “The traffic is awful.”
“Well, I’m glad you made it.”
“Barely.”
“You still made it.” He brushed his thumb across the back og her hand, squeezing it gently.
“How are you feeling? Nervous?”
“A little,” Tim admitted. “But happy that you’re here.”
Unknowing to him, she smiled. “You didn’t eat before the surgery, right? Because the anesth-“
“Lucy,” Tim cut her off. “Can you do one thing for me?”
“Of course,” she said instantly, ready to fluff his pillow or put on socks or whatever else he’d ask her.
“Can you kiss me?”
Lucy blinked, hear rushing to her cheeks. “Kiss you?”
“Yeah, so I have something to dream about while I’m under.”
Lucy smiled while she bit her lip, loving how sweet he was being.
“Okay,” Lucy didn’t need much more convincing since she wanted to kiss him badly ever since he did yesterday. She kissed him, and Tim felt like everything would be alright. Finally, his life seemed good.
A knock at the door broke the spell. As if the doctor was warning them to end whatever they were doing before he came into the room. Lucy squeezed his hand one more final time and watched him being wheeled to the surgery.
A surgery that meant the first thing he might see again was her.
***
When Tim woke up, he saw nothing. Panic rushed through him as he thought that surgery had failed, but Genny was right next to him to remind him that he still had eye patches and his eyes needed to heal a little bit after the surgery before they could take them off. Though the first question wasn’t about sight. It was about Lucy.
Genny told him she wasn't there.
Three days later, when his eye patches were taken off and he saw Genny all teary-eyed for the first time ever since his accident, Lucy still wasn’t there.
When he was packing his things to leave the hospital, Lucy still wasn’t there.
When he got home for the first time and saw that his place looked exactly the same, Lucy didn’t come.
When Tim went to his first eye appointment and got the news that his eyes were healing nicely, Lucy was still nowhere to be found.
No texts.
No phone calls.
Nothing.
She was gone.
Even Genny couldn’t reach her.
Two weeks passed before Tim finally gave up. He still thought about her every day. He couldn’t stop himself. He tried to convince himself that she wasn’t coming. Tim tried to move on even though everything reminded him of her. Even walking down the street, he stopped to look at every brunette with brown eyes, wondering if that was his Lucy. But none of them looked back at him, so his heart broke a little.
Instead, he found something else to focus on, and it was the process of going back on patrol. The doctor told him he won’t be cleared for quite some time, but there still was hope, which he liked to cling to.
But some days he found himself feeling lonely. Without Lucy in his space, he found the house quieter than usual. He spent more time watching TV. Rewatching every game he missed for those months while he was blind.
Then a soft knock came at the door.
Tim turned off the TV, got up, and walked to answer it. He wasn’t expecting any company, so he was bracing himself for someone trying to sell something to him.
When he finally opened the door, the air left his lungs. There, right in front of him, stood the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, with her hands clasped tightly in front of her, her shoulders tense. Her bottom lip was between her teeth as she looked at him nervously.
“Hey,” he said since the woman had yet to say anything.
She gave a small, nervous smile in return.
“Are you here to sell something?”
She shook her head.
“Looking for something?”
She shook her head again.
“Okay…” Tim slowly nodded. “Then what are you here for?”
Finally, she spoke. “Hi.”
Her voice hit him like a punch straight to his chest. Her voice was familiar. Too familiar.
“Lucy,” he breathed as he couldn’t believe that it was actually her.
“Can I come in?” She gestured to the inside of the house. Tim quickly nodded, still in shock, but stepped aside.
He closed the door, then turned back to her. For weeks, he thought she had left him and disappeared, and now she was here. In front of him.
Lucy’s eyes flicked over him nervously before she spoke. “So I see the surgery was successful?”
“What are you doing here, Lucy?” Tim asked instead.
“I came to see you,” she shrugged. Now Tim could see exactly the way Lucy looked at him, and it confused him because it looked like love, but she had disappeared. “You wanted me to see you after the surgery.”
“It’s been two weeks. You didn’t answer my calls or texts. You just disappeared.”
Lucy ducked her head, feeling horrible about how this turned out. “I’m sorry. I was scared.”
“Of what?”
“Of knowing if it worked or not,” she admitted. “I didn’t lie when I told you that I care about you. I wanted it to work for you more than anything, but I was terrified of walking in here and seeing the disappointment on your face. I couldn’t bear it if it hadn’t worked.”
“Well, it did.”
“I can see that,” Lucy gave him a soft, beautiful smile while her eyes brimmed with tears.
“So why now?”
Her breath caught. “I saw a dream. Of you. And I realized I missed you too much to let my fears control me. I also didn’t want to disappoint you.”
Tim furrowed his brows. “Disappoint me?”
“The woman you pictured probably looked prettier than me,” she shrugged again.
Tim didn’t respond. He only stepped closer to her until he could feel the warmth radiating from her. Slowly, he closed his eyes and lifted his hand, tracing her face like he had before. He traced the arch of her eyebrow, traced the bridge of her nose, brushed the tear off her cheek, traced the line of her jaw, and finally paused at her lips. His eyes fluttered open, and he smiled at her.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, his voice certain.
And then he kissed her.
This time, neither of them hesitated nor felt scared. Lucy rose on her toes, wrapping her arms around his neck as Tim’s hands settled at her waist, holding her close. Their kiss was just as electric as all the times before, but it wasn’t slow or soft; this kiss was deeper and sure. Sure that they wanted this. Sure that they wanted each other.
Finally, when they were out of breath, they pulled apart but not too far. Neither of them wanted to let the other go.
“So you can finally see,” Lucy murmured, her tears slipping free even as she smiled.
“Yes,” Tim chuckled, getting teary-eyed himself. “I can see you.”