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When Orion died, Optimus Prime was born. He was bigger and stronger, but he was still the same mech at the spark. He'd died, but he'd lived.
His friends were very weird about it, though.
Optimus understood. He knew what his friends had seen. He'd felt it rather than seen it, but he knew it must have been painful for them, too. He spent far too much time thinking whether or not it may have been painful for D to let go.
Elita and B were the easiest to talk to. They'd been with him, they'd seen what he'd seen. But in the end, Elita still cut off her words and promised to talk to him later, and B would be holding back tears. That was fair. All of his past friends had been easily-fixable. Optimus had been fixed, but B was still scared he'd fall apart again, like ST3VE tended to do.
His old mining friends were harder to talk to. They'd thought Orion had died twice. That was two too many time for any mech.
Wheeljack and Sideswipe would marvel at his new weapons systems, and Sunstreaker would jealously talk about Optimus' new paint, but Jazz would be uncharacteristically quiet.
That stung a bit. Jazz had been one of his closest friends in the mines, besides D.
Optimus would talk to Ratchet the most often. The medic would grumble that it was a wonder he hadn't sustained any life-threatening injuries from the race (a lifetime ago, now)- between the action and his at-the-time inadequate self-repair systems due to being cogless, he should've needed more repairs than he had, but Optimus just shrugged and said he'd always been a hardy bot.
He hated the regular check-ups- there were too many beeping machines, too many foreign wires- but he had to set an example for everyone else, and he'd heard the stories of what 'The Hatchet' would do if anyone didn't follow medical guidelines.
He hated the regular check-ups, but he had to admit they were necessary. He had died, after all. (It hadn't really felt like dying- not that he'd know what that felt like. It had just felt like a deep, deep recharge, and waking up in a unfamiliar-but-somehow-correct frame.)
Optimus understood the need to check his spark at the check-ups. He often wanted to check it himself, but he didn't know how.
He wanted to know if it was the same spark.
Was it still him in there? Was he still Orion at the core, past all the new weapons systems and shiny new paint? Or had Orion well and truly died, and Optimus was a ghost piloting an upgraded frame?
Ratchet's scans all told him that it was the same spark he'd always had, but there was something different: it was a perpetually dying spark. The Matrix was a life support machine, and without it, his spark would be snuffed out.
He was Optimus Prime, but at his core he was still Orion. Dying had changed him, but not in a fundamental way. Everything that made Orion who he was- that was still there.
That left Optimus with many more questions, though they weren't all about his spark, or even about him at all.
While Ratchet was lovely to talk to, there was someone Optimus wanted to talk to more than anyone else on Cybertron. He crossed his fingers, hoping the comm channel was the same as it had always been, and messaged Megatron.
~*~*~
Optimus almost took comfort in the fact that he was actually going to meet with Megatron. If anything, it was further reassurance that, at his core, he was the same foolhardy mech he'd always been. Because really, this was very stupid. Elita would most definitely punch him if she found out.
Luckily, carrying the Matrix of Leadership gave Optimus a lot of fun excuses, including the need to "go out and commune with Primus". He was a little surprised that his friends bought it, but he was far more surprised that Megatron was actually willing to meet with him.
When Optimus finally arrived to the agreed-upon location- the ruined city they'd come across on their first trip to the surface- Megatron was already waiting.
His red optics made Optimus' spark ache. There was so much hatred there that D's amber optics hadn't held before.
"D- sorry, Megatron- thank you for agreeing to meet with me," Optimus said, standing far closer to Megatron than he really should have.
"And what's this meeting about, exactly?" Megatron asked.
"I wanted to talk." Optimus retracted his battlemask. "About… everything."
Megatron raised an optic ridge. "That's a lot of talking, Prime. I'm not sure if there's time for that- if you haven't noticed, there's a war on."
"Why is there a war?" Optimus asked, wanting to hear how Megatron would answer.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Why are we fighting?"
"You're kidding, right?" Megatron laughed bitterly. "I killed the mech who was killing us, and you decided it was an unforgivable wrong. I killed Orion. That's an unforgivable wrong."
"There's no such thing as an unforgivable wrong," Optimus said softly.
"I killed Orion," Megatron repeated. "That's-"
"My spark is still the same one I've always have. Despite the new look and new name, I'm still Orion. I'm still me. You didn't kill me."
That was almost a lie. But D hadn't killed him. It was Orion's choice to jump in front of the fusion cannon.
"I'm sorry," Megatron said, so quietly that Optimus almost didn't hear it.
"I'm still me," Optimus repeated, taking a step closer. "Are you still you? Despite it all, are you still you, D?"
"Don't think I won't fight you," Megatron warned as Optimus stepped closer. "Primus, I should have known this was a trick. For once in his life, maybe Starscream was right."
"You're still the same mech," Optimus said, more for himself than for Megatron. He bit the bullet and asked what he'd been wondering about for ages- "did it hurt? To let me fall?"
Megatron took a step closer, then- though he looked at the ground, rather than at Optimus.
"No."
"You're still the same mech, D. I know when you're lying."
Megatron's helm snapped up, optics blazing. "It hurt more than anything, Pax. Is that what you wanted to hear so badly? Is that the answer to your burning question?"
Orion smiled, and Megatron faltered.
"Yes," he said. "It is."
Orion was the taller one, now. Not by much, but just enough to be noticeable.
It meant he had to lean down a little to kiss D.
D's optics were wide when Orion broke the kiss, though there was no hatred in them now. They were prettier that way, Orion decided. Without all the anger.
"And," Orion said in the silence. "You finally called me Pax again."
"Shut up," D said, putting his hands on the sides of Orion's helm. "You always did talk too much."
The second kiss was much longer than the first, not that either of them were complaining.
When D finally let go, Orion's faceplates nearly hurt from smiling. D glared at him, but there was no animosity behind it.
"If you tell anyone about this, I will find a way to transform into a shovel and beat you."
For the first time since he'd died, Orion laughed.