Chapter Text
August 1975
Scotland, Family Estate
A long stretch of unpaved road led into a lonely Scottish forest. To Muggles, this road led to nowhere interesting, just a clearing filled with birds, rabbits, and the occasional deer. To wizards, however, this road led to a beautifully hidden cottage, tucked away from prying eyes and secured with so many wards it could put a Gringott's vault to shame.
You stepped off of the carriage, a bag slung over your shoulder and your clothes a rumpled disaster. Your entire body ached from the long, grueling flight across the Atlantic ocean. You hadn't slept at all–you couldn't, not with everything on your mind.
Your mother yawned and got off the carriage, flicking her wand lazily to make her and your luggage float behind her. “Our things should have already been delivered,” she said, walking towards the front door.
You looked up at the house. It was just like you remembered it: made of stone overgrown with moss and ivy, two floors, and a mysterious tower you never were allowed up into as a child. You knew behind it was a large property, filled with a magical garden and even a greenhouse, but it probably was in a horrible state of neglect by this point, as was the entire house.
This was, or formerly was, your grandmother's estate. You were very young the last time you had come to visit, so her death was a confusing time for you. Should you grieve? Cry? You didn't know. You were far more upset about abruptly having to leave your home and especially your school, considering you were going into your 5th year!
You had grown up in the city in America, having attended Ilvermorny since you were eleven years old. Since your grandmother's death, your mother had been pushing off the move to the inherited house, until unpaid rent and utilities forced her hand back to Scottish soil.
You entered the front door. It was dusty and grim, not a single item had been moved or used. There hadn't been any type of attempt to clean or anything.
“Guess we better start cleaning,” You said with a sigh, already looking for the box in the kitchen marked “cleaning supplies”.
Your mother held up her hand, pulling out her wand. “No need for that anymore–you can cast all the magic you like here.” She waved her wand, and the dust began to vanish off of the counter.
“Um…” You blinked. Getting in trouble with the British MACUSA didn't sound like a fantastic way to end your summer. You had scrubbed the apartment by hand your whole life–no need to risk it all now.
“There's no muggles out here. Also, If I'm around, the Ministry won't care if you cast some household charms,” your mother insisted. “You don't need to wait for me to finish your potions off for you either.”
That got your interest. There were times where you had entire brews ruined because your mother didn't come home in time to help you finish off a potion. You normally brewed everything at school during the year, but sometimes you had miscalculated and ran out of stores.
“I'll…keep that in mind,” you said, your brain already racing.
“Why don't you go unpack your room, dear? I'll handle the kitchen,” your mother said as she waved her wand around.
You went up the stairs, the wood creaking under your steps. Several black and white moving photos were mounted on the walls, but you didn't know who half the people were. Your mother didn't talk about your wizarding family at all.
Your mother had taken the master suite, of course, with an attached bathroom. You got what you presumed was the guest room. It was as dusty as any other room in the house, and an extremely dated quilt was spread across the bed. You sat on it, and sighed with relief that at least it was soft.
Your boxes of things were in the corner. This room was at least twice as big as the one at the apartment, and the window even had a nice view of the overgrown backyard. There was a large wooden dresser, a closet, and even a vanity with a mirror in the corner.
You went downstairs to grab some of those cleaning supplies and began to dust and clean up the furniture. Once you were done, you opened your box and began to arrange your things. You smelled some kind of food from downstairs when you had put the last colorful potion on the vanity.
Your mother was cooking a meal–well, as much cooking as your mother would ever do. She was looking through a stack of mail, which a cute little brown owl had just brought in, while the pots on the stove cooked the food themselves with a charm.
“I believe…this is for you,” your mother said, handing you a small white envelope with a red seal.
You opened the letter. It felt…special and exciting somehow, even though you already knew what it was.
Dear Miss Y/N L/N,
We are pleased to inform you that, following a review of your magical education and abilities, you have been accepted as a fifth-year student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, beginning 1 September 1975.
Hogwarts is confident that your prior experience in magical study will allow you to integrate smoothly with your classmates and continue to develop your talents. You will find that the curriculum in your fifth year includes advanced subjects and opportunities for specialization.
Please find enclosed a list of required books, supplies, and information regarding uniforms and accommodations.
We look forward to welcoming you to Hogwarts and to your contributions to our school community.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress
Once you finished the letter, you found the enclosed list and began reading it. Your mother beamed and clapped her hands together in glee.
“Oh my goodness! You'll be going to Hogwarts! Isn't that exciting?”
You looked up, a bit troubled. “But I liked Ilvermorny…”
“Yes…well…” Your mother faltered for a moment. “...no offense to Ilvermorny, but Hogwarts has been open for over a thousand years. All of your wizarding family attended, including me.” She sighed. “I wonder what house you'll end up in…Ravenclaw, most likely. Like me and your grandmum.”
You nodded. It was likely, considering your placement as a Horned Serpent back at Ilvermorny. “Right…well, where do we get this stuff? Is there a way you order this by owl or something?”
Your mother laughed. “Oh no dear…there's only one place we're going to get all of this!”
Diagon Alley
Having lived most of your life in America, with the magical world being kept as a hidden secret underneath the No-Maj, you had forgotten about the way British wizards lived. There were entire Wizarding communities that lived freely and openly with one another in hidden areas away from muggle eyes.
As you were walking down Diagon Alley with your mother, you stopped in front of a sign you recognized. You had come here when you were a little girl, the last time you had come to visit your grandmother.
“Ollivanders,” you said with a pause.
Your mother nodded. “Yes, this is where we got your wand.”
Normally, American wizards obtained their wands at Ilvermorny when they arrived at school. You, however, were the only student who already had a wand when you arrived. That's because your grandmother had insisted that you get a wand from Ollivanders, as she considered them the best.
You had to agree. You loved your wand. It definitely suited you. It was a bit alienating to be the only one of your classmates to sit out of the wand choosing ceremony, but nothing about your magical life had ever been normal.
“I'm going to do a bit of shopping,” your mother said. “You can find your way around, I think. Stay out of Knockturn Alley and you'll do all right.”
With that, she was gone, leaving you to your own devices.
Great. I don't even know in what stores I can find this stuff.
Looking over the list, you decided to start with the easiest one–the books. Several people with children seemed to be entering a book store called Flourish and Blotts. You deciding to look in there for your textbooks was probably a safe bet.
You had most of the potions textbooks listed already. There was a herbology book you needed, as well as the fifth year level spellbooks for the rest of your classes.
“Defensive Magical Theory,” you said, picking up a copy of the tome and beginning to flip through it.
“Lovely–so I wasn't hallucinating our required reading.”
You looked up, startled. A boy about your age had appeared in the aisle. He was slender, had pale skin, shoulder length black hair, and a large hooked nose. His eyes were such a dark brown they were almost black, and he had dark circles underneath them.
He turned his head to face you once he noticed you were looking at him. His hair fell like curtains in front of his face, and despite his snarky remark he looked incredibly shy, like he had regretted speaking.
“This book?” You asked, holding it up for him to see the title. “It's on the Hogwarts supply list. Are you a student?”
“Obviously,” the boy said, not making eye contact with her. His ugly gray shirt was far too big for him, and made him look even thinner than he was. He reluctantly picked up a copy of the book you were holding. “This book is worthless, you know. The only reason they're assigning it to us is because of the OWLS.”
You blinked. “Worthless? Then why–”
“They're afraid,” said the boy. “Of what wizards can do when taught real magic.” He awkwardly shifted where he stood, as if trying to hold back every ounce of curiosity in his body. “Who are you, anyway?”
“Oh, my name is Y/N,” you said with a smile.
The boy clutched the book in his hands tighter. “Severus.” He ran his fingers through his hair, as if he wanted to push it out of the way, but it just fell right back into place again.
“I…” You decided he probably would be able to help you. “I'm a transfer student. I've never been here before. Do you know where I can get the stuff on the supply list?”
“Um…” He looked a bit taken aback, like the mere concept of someone asking him for help was alien. “...yes.”
After you bought your books, Severus flicked his head, signaling you to follow him. He stashed his new book in an old beaten up bag slung at his side.
Slug and Jiggers. Several teens were inside this apothecary, looking around at various ingredients. Once you stepped inside, you followed Severus to a particular wall of the store, which contained most of the potions ingredients on your list.
Before you began weighing out the ingredients, you inspected them thoroughly. Some of the ingredients were an off color or dried wrong, so you began to measure them out carefully onto the scale, sorting out anything sub-par.
You looked up to see where Severus was, pulling yourself out of your trance. Severus was doing the exact same thing at a different scale. He had a notebook open, and it was cramped with writing so tightly the pages appeared almost black. He also began measuring out ingredients that weren't on the supply list.
He likes potions! You felt a bit excited at that revelation. Not many people were as enthusiastic as you at the skill, and you were hoping to find more like-minded wizards in the upper years.
You forced yourself to continue weighing your ingredients, but your heart began racing. For the first time since arriving, you were looking forward to starting up school. Would Severus be in your potions class? You definitely hoped so. Were there more students like him? What was the professor like? You wanted to ask Severus a thousand questions but he seemed very focused…and he wasn't very talkative.
You followed Severus out of the apothecary after purchasing your potions ingredients. “Where do I get robes?” You asked, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.
Severus gestured to a shop called Madam Malkin's. He opened his mouth to speak, but his head suddenly snapped in a different direction. “I…have to go,” he said abruptly. Your eyes followed him as he left, and he seemed to be joining a woman with dark hair. His mom?
You found your own mother inside the robes shop. Your mother was ordering custom robes (with god knows what money). Once inside, you got fitted for Hogwarts robes.
Now everything felt a little more real.
September
Kings Cross, Platform 9 ¾
September 1st came far too quickly. You had hardly managed to unpack your things at the house before having to be whisked away to boarding school. Your mother groggily apparated you to King's Cross before apparating back home to nurse off her hangover, leaving you to fend for yourself.
Running directly into the wall took a few minutes of courage, but once you saw a few other wizard families do it you managed. Your trunk was unusually heavy, due to your charm on it to fit everything you wanted into it. You hoped you wouldn't get into trouble for that.
The train was just like your mother had described. Large, red, and surrounded by countless children and teenagers. Everyone was busy chattering away at each other, to their friends or family members. There was the screech of several unhappy owls in their cages, nibbling at the bars restlessly.
You looked around the platform, hoping you might catch a glimpse of Severus. You found him easily, not only because he himself stood out, but he was speaking to a girl who most certainly did. She was a slender redhead, who was laughing and beaming up at him.
You tried to approach them, but the train whistle signified for everyone to board. You quickly rushed to the entrance to the cars alongside everyone else, but you were a bit slow and ended up behind an entire group of eleven year olds.
Finally, you made it onto the train car. You had to walk quite the distance looking for an empty seat, and you sighed in relief when you found Severus and that redhead girl. At least you could feel more comfortable somewhat begging to sit with them, instead of sitting awkwardly with a group of eleven year olds.
“U-um!” You looked through the compartment door. You thought this would be easier, but the moment Severus' eyes met yours, you froze.
Severus opened his mouth to speak, but he glanced at the red-haired girl, then back at you.
Oh no…is that his…?
The girl looked at you and gave you a bright smile. “Need a seat?” She scooted over on her side of the compartment, making room for you.
You exhaled in relief at the girl's kindness, then sat down. “Thank you, I've never done this before.”
Severus was still staring at you a bit through his limp hair, but then looked down at the worn-out bag in his lap.
“You've never rode the Hogwarts Express?” The girl asked, amazed. She beamed at Severus. “Is she the transfer student you were talking about, Sev?”
Severus looked like he wanted to vanish himself.
“I'm Lily. Lily Evans,” the girl introduced herself to you. “You're Y/N, right?”
You felt your body relax a bit. “Yeah–it seems Severus has already told you about me then.”
Severus wasn't looking at you.
You continued. “He was very helpful in Diagon Alley. I felt a bit lost.”
“Don't worry about it,” said Lily warmly. “I felt lost in my first year too. Sev's way more experienced with the Wizarding world. You're lucky you ran into him.”
Severus’ pale cheeks flushed pink, but he hunched over a book he pulled out of his bag and avoided eye contact.
“Are you…friends?” You asked, looking between them. You couldn't bring yourself to ask if she was his girlfriend.
“We live in the same area,” said Lily. “We've known each other since we were kids.”
Severus looked up briefly, but then returned to his book.
Lily nudged his shin with her shoe. “Come on Sev, sit up. You have all year to read.”
Severus slammed his book closed and sat upright, looking slightly annoyed. He looked out the window. “Fine, I suppose you wish to talk about Quidditch for Salazar knows how long. I will listen, but don't expect I'll add anything worthwhile.”
Lily's green eyes rolled to the ceiling. “He's been like this all summer.”
“Do you like potions?” You blurted out.
Severus froze and glanced at you sharply.
“I noticed at the apothecary, you had a notebook and you got ingredients not on the supply list,” you continued. “I really like potions too. All my classes are to prepare for the OWLS needed for Potioneer NEWTS…”
“You want to be a potioneer?” Severus blinked. He was completely interested in the conversation now, his original shyness vanishing like he'd been charmed.
“Is it that surprising?” You huffed.
“N-no! No it's just–” Severus was tripping over his words. He leaned back, crossing his arms. “Stable career.”
“That's Sev's aspiration,” said Lily. “You know…if he'd cut it out with those creepy spells.”
“They're not creepy!” Severus defended. “The Dark Arts are interesting, is all.”
“Sev please, you'll scare the new girl,” Lily protested.
The Dark Arts? That's probably what he meant by “real” magic.
Severus seemed unwilling to continue the conversation, picking up another one of his books and completely immersing himself in it. Lily on the other hand became your conversation partner for the duration of the train ride.
You learned all about her house, Gryffindor, and what her common room was like. You learned about the Gryffindor Quidditch team (but she seemed reluctant to drop particular names of players for some reason), their head of house, and all types of things they do for fun. Severus kept glancing up at Lily on occasion, but he added nothing to the conversation.
A woman at a trolley filled with sweets stopped by. You and Lily got some things at Lily's suggestion, such as pumpkin pasties, but Severus didn't even look up from his book. He almost shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
Lily broke her pumpkin pasty in half and held it out to him. “Here, Sev.”
Severus looked down at the confection being offered to him. “Sugary nonsense,” he said, returning to his book, although his cheeks were flushed slightly pink.
“Ugh! You've been so impossible!” Lily said, angrily taking a large chomp out of the pastry she had offered him. “Sweets don't make you a little kid, Sev.”
Severus didn't grace her with a response.
Your brows furrowed after witnessing that exchange, but you said nothing. Instead, you took a bite of the flaky pastry, the warm pumpkin filling tasting like cinnamon and sugar.
Lily and Severus eventually got up to change into their robes. You changed into yours, which was dull and gray like the eleven year olds on the train with you.
Severus looked different. His posture and mood seemed to lighten drastically once he was out of those old and frayed muggle clothing, instead sporting the emerald green and silver of Slytherin house. He immediately stuck his nose into a book, though, hunching over like an ink colored shrimp.
Hogwarts
Eventually, after what felt like forever, the train approached its destination. Hogwarts was even more glorious in person, the castle looking so much larger that you could have possibly imagined just from pictures. The Black Lake was gorgeous, the setting sun casting light across the water.
You were a bit lost on what to do once you stepped out onto the station. You began to have a slight panic, before Lily rushed over to you.
“Had to get my badge,” Lily said with a grin. She pointed to the badge on her chest that said “prefect”. “I volunteered to lead you to the castle.”
“You're a prefect?” You asked, following her to the waiting carriages.
You paused, your brows burrowing. “What are those?”
Lily blinked. “What are what?”
You pointed towards the rather odd looking skeletal horses with large bat wings that were in front of the carriages. “Those…things. Pulling the carriages."
Lily looked confused, then grinned. “Oh come on don't tease me. These carriages fly on their own.”
Something about this exchange unsettled you to your core.
You rode with Lily on the carriages to the school, then followed her inside. She led you to where the first years were gathered, where you were to wait to be sorted into your houses. You felt a bit awkward, a teenager amongst a little sea of first years.
A witch wearing a long robe and a large pointed hat appeared. After introducing herself as Professor McGonagall, she began giving a speech about the rules of Hogwarts. She also spoke about the sorting ceremony and the houses you could be sorted into. However, when she was done, she seemed to notice you in the back.
"Goodness, child, what on earth are you doing back there?" McGonagall said, motioning for you to approach her. Once you came closer, a realization seemed to hit her. "You're the new fifth year! Miss L/N, was it?"
You nodded. "Yes ma'am, Y/N L/N."
"Just follow the first years and we'll get you sorted," said McGonagall. She then began herding the first years down the hall, and you scurried after them. You were relieved at least one faculty member acknowledged your presence.
You were led down the hallway and eventually through large double doors. You instantly were brought to a hall filled with children of various ages, sectioned off into four colored sections to represent the houses. You were instructed to stand with the other first years at the front, the entire school watching you. You knew you stuck out tremendously, but you tried to remain calm.
McGonagall held a long parchment filled with a list of names. She called out one, and one of the first years stepped onto a stage at the front of the dining room. They sat down on a stool, and a large old and tattered hat was placed upon their head.
"Hufflepuff!" The hat shouted, startling you.
McGonagall flicked her wand, and the child's uniform changed to have yellow accents. The Hufflepuff badger appeared on their robe, and they went to sit down with a cheering group of their new fellow house members.
A few more children were called up. They were sorted into the other houses, their uniforms changing, and the corresponding house cheering and accepting them.
Then, your name was called. When everyone realized it was you, the room went so silent you could have heard a pin drop. You awkwardly approached the stool and sat down. It was easier, having your back turned to the crowd, but now with hundreds of eyes boring holes into you, you began to panic. Your heart beat so loudly you could feel it in your ears.
You searched the tables. At Gryffidor, Lily gave you a thumbs up. That made you give an awkward smile, and you looked towards the Slytherin table. Everyone was as solemn as a funeral, with Severus staring at you sharply. You made eye contact with him, and he looked away awkwardly. That immediately made you feel worse.
The heavy, old hat was placed on your head.
"Well you're certainly older than the usual," said the sorting hat's voice in your head. It was bizarre, to be certain. "But definitely not the first."
“There's been other transfers?” You asked the hat in your head.
"Quiet," the hat said. "Hmm…peculiar…you're intelligent and curious, and I sense a great deal of loyalty in you…you have a great deal of bravery coming all this way to a new country…"
You had closed your eyes, but opened them since the hat seemed to be taking its time. Everyone was still silently watching. McGonagall's brows were furrowed.
"Ah…I see. There it is…" The hat finally said.
You tensed. An image of your mother coming home drunk flashed through your mind, begging her to finish the potion you had waiting on the stove. The hours spent on the floor of your bedroom with books and books of potions open in front of you. Your mother's approval…you could see the smile on her face when she learned you too had been sorted into Ravenclaw.
"Slytherin!"
Your heart dropped to the floor. You felt sick to your stomach.
No…why?
McGonagall had a bit of a look of shock on her face, but then she removed the hat. "Goodness me, the hat took its time! I'm glad it's sorted out now, dear."
She flicked her wand and your uniform turned a green color, with the Slytherin snake appearing. There was a bit of applause from the Slytherins, but you could tell it wasn't as enthusiastic as it was for the first years.
No one at the Slytherin table moved to let you sit by them. The only open seat was in the far back corner accross from Severus.
You took your seat and stared at him. You still were in a little bit of shock.
“Guess you really like potions then,” Severus commented as you sat down.
You looked down at the food that had just materialized. “What's that got to do with anything?”
“This is the House of Ambition,” said Severus. “We're driven, goal-oriented sorts.” He pushed around the food on his plate like he was disinterested in wasting time on something as mundane as chewing.
Your brows furrowed. “Yes, well–” It was hard to argue with him, really. You were a bit single-minded when it came to your studies.
“Ambition doesn't mean you're any good,” Severus said, finally deciding to take a singular bite of his mashed potatoes.
Rude. “Excuse you, I always have top grades in potions,” you said with a huff as you stabbed into your roasted vegetables with a bit too much force.
“Grades…from a useless textbook,” Severus scoffed. “The potions instructions get more useless the higher the year.”
“Well that's because–” You stopped yourself from agreeing with him. “Never mind.” You decided to change the subject. “What's Slytherin like?”
“You could ask a prefect,” Severus mumbled.
“God forbid I want to hear what you have to say.”
Severus gave her a sharp look, then lowered his voice. “Don't…don't talk like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like…a muggle…” He muttered quickly.
The tone in his voice sounded a bit serious, so you fell silent. You finished eating your meal, not trying to push a conversation with Severus any further, then solemnly followed the Slytherin prefects down into your new dormitory.
The Slytherin dormitory was located in the dungeons. A large open window was under the Black Lake, showcasing the depth of the water below. The sun had set, so the water was black and eerie. The limited light from the fireplace didn't help the eerie feeling, but the Slytherins (save for the first years) seemed right at home.
A prefect showed you to your assigned bed in the girl's dormitory. Your trunk had already found its way there, and was sitting at the foot of the four poster bed. The bed was draped with emerald green, and the Slytherin emblem decorated the stone floor.
You sat down on the bed with an exhausted sigh, and finally pulled out your wand. You gave it a few swishes, and began to unpack your things.
The other girls in your room were speaking to each other, but not to you. You had noticed that most of the Slytherins, save for the prefects and Severus, had been avoidant and cautious of you. You figured it was the nature of the house or something to be wary, so you paid it no mind for now.
As you unpacked, thoughts swirled through your head. What would your mother think? Already you didn't have much in common, other than an (alleged) love for learning. Now you didn't even have a shared Hogwarts house with her.
Maybe I should send her an owl. Would she even want an owl?
You picked up your pajamas and went to the girl's bathroom to get ready for bed. You didn't even realize how tired you were until you climbed under the covers, and the lights dimmed. You closed your eyes and tried to sleep.
And thus began your time at Hogwarts.
You were certainly not prepared.