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Please put your shoe in my mouth and take mine out

Summary:

Danny manages to insult Tim in so many ways before they ever meet. Danny then meets Tim and instantly falls in love. Tim is a petty bitch, chaos ensues.

Notes:

Well I blame Windy and the rest of the Dead Tired server for enabling this. This is gonna be a trip and I'm just as excited to see what these two do. Because I don't even know the magnitude of the chaos that they are about to create.

Chapter Text

Danny was new to Gotham and not super familiar with Wayne Industries or the Waynes besides knowing of Bruce Wayne That’s why, when one day he gets stopped by one of those influencers in the street for a candid interview because of his cursed Fenton luck and because he accidentally made eye contact with them and they ran to him with a camera and mic he couldn’t stop his own mouth from running. 

 

“So what do you think of the  CEO of Wayne Industries?”

 

Danny is not fond of CEOs and rich people due to Vlad and Sam’s parents scoffs involuntarly. He had vaguely heard about a new one a year or so ago but he wasn’t living in Gotham and didn’t care.

 

“Ughhhh CEOs suck, even if Wayne Industries does good, the CEO has to be a rich sociopath, that is the only way that they were able to become a CEO. We better make sure that they don’t decide to ruin what the Wayne family built.”

 

“Uhhhh, he is Wayne’s adopted son, only just turned 18” the interviewer looked at Danny dumbfounded.

 

“Ughhh Nepobabies, him being a sociopath explains why he somehow managed to get Brucie Wayne to leave his company” Danny huffed out, annoyed and thinking about Vlad’s previous attempts to get Danny to become his son. Man the fact that some guy managed to do what Vlad did to Brucie Wayne, well it wouldn’t be that difficult considering Brucie Wayne. 

 

“….. well Wayne Industries might be sponsoring Batman and his associates, thoughts?” The random influencer pressed on with a weird gleam on their face, almost excited to hear his answer.

 

“Batman is fine, but there are so many other people, Gotham isn’t that big, there are other places that need help. And the naming of them all ? Robin, Red Robin, my guy move on from being Robin, there have been like 5 of them, get a better name, adding Red doesn’t make you suddenly unique.”

 

The interview goes on but it’s only that portion that goes viral and circulates a few days after Danny’s interview. The next day Danny has plans to go hang out with his new friend Steph and her girlfriend Cass not knowing what he has unleashed into the deep web.


Danny had met Steph when she came into the coffee shop he worked at and ordered a smoothie a couple of months ago. When she apologized and said that she was confusing it with the juice bar two blocks down, he laughed it off saying he’s been there, midterm season does that.

 

“Midterms?” Steph questioned. 

 

“Well yeah, it's midterm time at Gotham U, I’m up to my eyes in lab reports, after my shift, I’m going to go chug like 3 redbulls and write 2 lab reports due on Friday at midnight that I haven’t started yet.”

 

“Its Thursday” Steph states looking at him with a wide-eye

 

“I’m in better shape than I thought! I thought it was Friday! I haven’t slept since Wednesday when I took a nap for an hour between lab sessions, I can actually sleep for a bit.”

 

“....You remind me of someone I know, I’m Steph” she introduced herself with a smile and a faint chuckle. 

 

“Danny” he returned with a grin.


 

Now, when Danny walks into the Thai restaurant to meet them up for lunch, the day after the video was released, he knew he was in for it.

 

“Danny, over here!” Steph calls from her table.

 

Danny walks over to sit down at the table and waits because he knows what’s coming.

 

“Pfff Danny, my god that was amazing.” Steph laughs, she looks away at Cass and just continues to laugh. 

 

“Haha, I wasn’t prepared in the slightest, how am I supposed to know who the CEO of Wayne Industries is? I was also edited terribly, I was asked way more things and knew what I was talking about with those! Apparently Gothamites don’t drink the tap water, and only get purified water?”

 

“Danny, were you drinking the tap water?!?!?!” 

 

“No! I’ve only been drinking bottled water, it's basically free here, I get handed one almost everywhere I go and the university apparently sets up free water deliveries to all new students.”

 

“Thank Wayne Industries, they are the ones pushing for that and paying for it.  Even as a non-Gothamite, you should know the name of the CEO of the largest employer here, and the company that pays for all your drinking water along with having as many scholarships as they do? Didn’t you apply for one, that would be the only sane reason for a non-local to go to school here.”

 

“The Engineering and Chemistry departments are very well regarded, even if it tends to have a 35% villain rate post graduation..and by third year. I got a non-local grant, because the fact that I chose to go was commendable in itself? But that was from the school, not Wayne Industries.”

 

“Where do you think the money comes from, you think any university will purposely give money to non-residents?”

 

“....I can’t even argue that. How are things Cass, have a strong opinion on Wayne Industries?”

 

“....they’re fine” Cass offers with a nod, however to Danny, it seems quieter and more tense than she normally is. Not to say that Cass is loud or open in general, but she usually seems more relaxed and more present in the conversation. She looks like she’s thinking about something hard but reluctantly has to be here.

 

“Either way, I loved the video, it was so enlightening, now you have to come to this event tomorrow at the Gotham Museum of Science.”

 

“What”

 

“Steph, is that a good idea?” Cass questioned, looking slightly concerned.

 

“I think it's a great idea, they’ll get to meet?”

 

“They?”

 

“You’re coming, it's at 7pm, dress formally.”

 

“I don’t own anything formal, and I’m not going to any event with no context or explanation.”

 

“Oh you're going, or if you're not there at 7pm regardless of how you're dressed, so if you don’t wanna look like a disaster in your ratty ghost pj bottoms,  then you’ll be there.”

 

“Once again, I don’t even own formal clothing! I also got no money for them either.”

 

“Then what was in the garment bag in your closet?”

 

“What garment bag?” Danny laughs off nervously. Shit, he thought he got rid of everything that Vlad tried giving him.

 

“Danny you're a terrible liar, at least put in an effort to seem like you're telling the truth. But you’ve just proven the existence of your fancy clothes so you're coming. Now the waiter is coming up and I have been craving Thai ice tea like you cannot believe.” Steph settles seeing the waiter come up to the table.

 

“Fine, I don’t have to pay for anything?” Danny says after they place their orders (he’s basic, getting a Pad Thai but it's so good, and easy on his bland Mid-Western palette.) 

 

“No, all you need to do is just show up and say you're with Stephanie Brown.

 

“And how did you get into this event?”

 

“I got connections, now, our apps are here, shut up and eat. I need to tell you about this stupid question someone asked during one of my lectures.”

 

During lunch, Cass had been rather stand-offish towards Danny but due to his mid-western sensibilities he ignores it and continues on chatting and laughing with Steph. By the end of the meal, Cass has relaxed enough to give Danny a smile as they are leaving the restaurant. 


The next day Danny is regretting his perception of time, Clockwork wouldn’t even help him be on time, he asked and got a fancy looking scroll that said that he did this to himself, he needs to deal with the consequences. It's already 7:10 and he’s gotten lost several times and he can’t even go ghost without drawing the GIW to him like a moth, even if Gotham has a layer of liminality to it already. 

 

He manages to get to the front of the Museum where they are just about to close the doors and he manages to get in after security checks his name against a list and he’s ushered in right as they close the doors.

 

Danny starts ducking away from and darting around people dressed even fancier than he was with all the jewelry and watches. He was feeling underdressed even if technically his black suit was from Bonobos and the red dress shirt was not JC Penis. And just because Vlad wasn't around -and he couldn't throw a hissy fit- he had added Sam's christmas gift of star shaped cufflinks as a small nod to his love of space. But even with that jewelry that costs more than all his books combined, he still stands out starkly for not fitting in and others could definitely get the sense that he doesn’t belong here.

 

 He nearly knocks some lady over, jumping back and apologizing sheepishly as he backs away.

 

“Danny! Over here!” 

 

Danny perks up and makes eye contact with Steph looking doled up in a purple dress.

 

“Steph” he runs over. Right as he meets up with her, she jabs him in his gut as he bowls over for a second. He is about to jab her back when there seems to be something starting. He sees someone go up to a podium and starts to speak to the crowd. 

 

“Thank you all for attending this fundraiser, raising money for our Gotham’s hospitals. We would like to thank Wayne Industries and the Wayne Family specifically for their support and their contribution for this event today and their on-going support for our hospitals.”  

 

Danny had looked back to Steph at this point in confusion, she jabs him again and as he’s rubbing his stomach, he notices the host of the event then gestures to a beautiful boy his age coming up from behind them as they move to the side to allow the boy to start speaking to the crowd. 

 

Danny looked back to Steph at this point, confused on how she managed to get them both in this event, but then the boy says. 

 

“Thank you, as CEO of Wayne Industries….”

 

Danny had looked back to Steph eyes wide as the beautiful boy spoke to the crowd. Danny starts to have a realization however he can’t even process anything else that the boy is saying as he’s remembering his interview from a few days ago, that he had been calling this beautiful boy a sociopath and a nepobaby.

 

By the time he’s returned to the world around him he just sees Steph grinning at him. 

 

“So you realized who the CEO of Wayne Industries is?” Steph says smiling at Danny with a shit eating grin on her face. She's not even trying to control how loud she is, the nerve of her. 

 

“Steph, Steph, he is beautiful, who is that?” Danny hisses at her, trying to keep her quiet.

 

“Were you even listening? That is Tim Drake-Wayne”

 

“Brother”

 

Both of them perk up at the voice, and see Cass approach them

 

“Brother?”

 

Steph starts to laugh and smile wider, “Danny meet Cassandra Wayne, adopted child of Bruce Wayne”

 

Danny’s brain is firing at full speed remembering Cass yesterday and how she didn’t seem happy with him.

 

“Yeah her brother, and my ex boyfriend” Steph draws out with an even larger grin. 

 

Danny turns to stare at Steph flabbergasted. “Your ex-boyfriend?!”

 

“Cass! You snuck in without me noticing “

 

All three look up and see Tim Drake-Wayne dressed in a way that has Danny’s breath taken away as he gets closer. Tim looks like a painting come to life, in a midnight blue suit with silver shimmers embedded within the fabric of the suit, hair tousled and styled in a way that looks effortless. As he gets closer, Danny sees he’s wearing….are those planet earrings, his ears are pierced? Oh no he’s in love. 

 

As Tim approaches them, he has a small smile on his face as he gets closer, however the moment he sees Danny his face becomes neutral and the smile changes to a flat look.

 

“Oh hello everyone, who is this?” he looks at Danny with zero emotion on his face.

 

“This is Danny Nightingale, a new friend.” Steph says with a smirk.

 

“Lovely to meet you, now I have to speak to one of our investors.” Tim calls over his shoulder as he turns away to speak to someone else, purposely angling his back away from them. 

 

“That was Tim, he also saw your video, I walked in to him being showed it by his other siblings today, he definitely hasn’t been called a sociopathic nepobaby before” Steph says, “he definitely remembers you”

 

Danny just looks and marvels at his own ability to put his foot in his mouth. He wonders if he’ll somehow manage to fit both in at the same time if he tries to apologize.