Chapter Text
Ascending the first flight of stairs in the castle, you peeked around the corner warily. You were pretty much told that everyone was free to roam the castle as they pleased, but you were still relatively new to the whole 'Dark World' thing. Everything just had such an aura of mystery and uncertainty to it, it was hard not to feel at least slightly intimidated. This was a magical shadow world, a place that somehow felt familiar, ancient, and brand new, all at the same time.
Who knew what could be lurking in those dark corners?
Thankfully, the floor seemed rather empty from what you could tell. Well, empty except for a rather dejected-looking little green Pippins. They were sitting outside of a large, tacky set of double doors, head in their hands as they let out a long-suffering sigh. The poor thing looked like they were at the end of their rope. You couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy; you'd definitely had your fair share of those kinds of days.
Briefly, though, part of you considered just.. pretending you hadn't seen them, and continuing your exploration. Instantly, though, you could feel the guilt eating away at you, and you sighed internally. Yeah, right. You'd be beating yourself up for weeks if you did that.
Clearing your throat, you took a steadying breath and rounded the corner, stepping into the hall and slowly making your way over to the Darkner. They didn't even glance up at your approach, too absorbed in their own misery to be concerned with some random passerby.
"H-hey, uh. Are you okay?" you asked, trying not to wince at how weak it sounded.
It was a few long moments before the pippins responded. Slowly, painfully slowly, they lifted their head out of their hands. They looked like they were about to open their mouth to say something snarky, but froze. Their eyes widened as they looked you up and down, and you fidgeted nervously, now fully reconsidering your initial plan of just booking it.
"You– You're a Lightner, aren't you?" they practically shouted, pointing at you as if you were the missing piece of some sort of puzzle. You opened your mouth, and then closed it. Then you opened it again.
"...Yeess?" you replied hesitantly, furrowing your brow. You'd honestly forgotten how big of a deal the whole 'Lightner' thing was to some of these people. It was kind of embarrassing, really, but you couldn't deny that having random people occasionally fawn over you was kind of cool. It wasn't the sort of attention you usually got from people, that was for sure.
A near-manic grin split their face as they started to wildly gesticulate with their hands, fists punching the air and then proceeding to do what looked like a victory pose. They didn't say a word while they did this. You stared in silence, gaze once again flicking to the stairwell.
"You're just what he needs! He LOVES Lightners! You could even– oh! Oh! You could–" they sputtered, rambling on and on. Your expression scrunched up in even more confusion, and they finally seemed to catch on to your unease. They froze in place, clearing their throat and straightening their stance.
"I mean, uh, hey! Look, we've got a bit of a problem here, and I think you–" they paused, pointing at you again, "might be just what we need."
Uncertainty crept up your spine, and you gave them an apologetic smile.
"I'm not.. really sure if I'd be much help, but, uh.. what's the problem?" you questioned, hoping to every possible god that it wouldn't be something complicated. Or dangerous. Or scary. Or all of those combined.
They practically clicked their heels, grinning ear to ear (.. they didn't actually have ears, you noted.) "Don't worry, don't worry, you don't gotta do much of anything! Just come say hi to the big guy! He just loves Lightners, so seeing you would definitely make him feel better!"
Simultaneously, you felt an overwhelming sense of relief at the reassurance that you wouldn't have to really do anything, as well as a surge of anxiety, worried that you wouldn't actually be able to make him feel better. Maybe you'd even make him feel worse. And then you'd have made two random strangers upset today, instead of just the one that you'd disappoint by refusing the initial offer.
You chewed your lip, pensive.
"I.. don't have to do anything? I just need to be there?" you asked carefully, trying to feel out the situation. Hoping you'd be able to handle this in a way that wouldn't be disastrous for everyone involved.
They nodded so emphatically that you were pretty sure you saw their head spin. The movement made such an overwhelmingly familiar noise, you finally realized what the pippins were meant to be: dice.
You laughed a bit, taken aback by their enthusiasm.
"Yes! Exactly! See, Tenna's been feeling real down today. Hasn't even left his room! He just tells us to 'go away' every time we try to talk to him. He's barely acting like himself at all! Won't even unlock the door, " they explained, annoyance clear from their tone. Despite this, you could tell that they were still genuinely concerned, the way their brow pinched and their gaze couldn't quite meet yours.
Alright. Fine. Anxiety be damned, you were going to try to help out these two even if it killed you.
Which it obviously wouldn't. Right?
"It's, uh, worth a shot. I'll try my best," you assured them, trying to sound more confident than you felt. After punching the air a few more times, the green Pippins turned to the large set of doors in front of you and knocked on it with all their might. BANG, BANG, BANG echoed through the stone halls, making you recoil slightly, squinting your eyes as if that would somehow help block out the sound.
Faintly, you heard movement on the other side of the doors, piquing your interest. Slow, tired shuffling, and what sounded like a few upset murmurs.
"Go away!" shouted a staticky, petulant voice from within the room. You blinked, turning to the green Pippins again.
"Is that a kid in there?" you whispered, just on the edge of panicking. You were not good with kids. If this was going to end up being something where you had to babysit a child, like, a real, actual child, you were absolutely going to have to bail. How many years had it even been since you were CPR certified? Didn't that little card expire when you were in middle school? Did this place even have emergency services?!
To your surprise, the green Pippins just shook their head, as if the very idea was ridiculous. "No! He's a full grown man. Probably way older than you, I'd say," they clarified, looking you up and down again. You narrowed your eyes, but nodded, giving them the okay to continue.
"Heyy, big guy! Guess what I got for you!" the Pippins practically sang. You weren't sure you appreciated being spoken about like a new toy, but you kept that comment to yourself. "It's a Lightner! A real, bona fide Lightner!"
More shuffling from behind the doors. It almost sounded like he was pacing back and forth just on the other side of the wall, fighting with himself on whether or not he should open it.
"...Kris?"
It was almost a whisper, the way he said that name. You almost didn't catch it, but it came after a pause in movement, the only thing breaking the fragile silence of the hall. He sounded.. hopeful, but a little scared, too. The name did sound familiar to you, but you couldn't quite place it at that moment.
Well, more questions for later.
The green Pippins deflated a bit. "Haha, well! No! Not Kris, exactly. Or at all, but–" they sputtered, trying to recover from the way the question had clearly caught them off guard. "But! Hear me out. This is a new Lightner, Mr. Tenna. A brand new audience! A brand new participant! Perhaps, even, a brand new, uh.. owner?" The last part was practically whispered into to the door, almost like they were hoping you wouldn't hear that part.
You tilted your head, now thoroughly confused and even more concerned than you were before. Just what the hell was this person trying to rope you into? Was this a friend that needed cheering up, or was this a stray cat? Ultimately, you decided to just bite your tongue. No harm in just.. seeing what was up, right? If it was anything you couldn't handle, you could just turn and leave. Or run. As fast as physically possible.
Tenna, though, finally started to seem a bit more intrigued. You heard the footsteps approach the door, stopping just on the other side. Finally, slowly, the locks came undone, one by one. The Pippins hopped in place excitedly, quickly turning to you to give you the biggest grin you'd ever seen. You shot a nervous smile right back.
At an almost glacial pace, you both watched the doorknob turn before one of the doors started to creak open. It was just a crack, though, and you could barely see anything inside. All you could see was some sort of.. screen pressed up against the crack of the door, with a.. Oh. That was his face. Okay.
"R-really..?" he asked, voice somehow even smaller than before. The door opened just a bit more, finally allowing you to get a better look at his face.
He was a TV. Or, well, a Darkner with a TV for a head. An old-style TV, too, just like one of those good CRT ones you'd spend hours playing your old Gamecube games on. Well, except for the giant nose poking out of the middle of his face. And the mouth. No eyes, though, you noted curiously. The comment about him being 'way older' than you probably rang true, then. This guy was anything but modern.
"Yes, really! Check it out!" The Pippins did a big flourish with their arms, presenting you as if you were some sort of surprise guest on a tacky reality show. You suddenly felt the intense gaze of the TV Darkner, an impressive feat considering he had no eyes to emote with.
You cleared your throat, trying to fight off the sudden stage fright you felt at being put on the spot like that. "Hi, um. It's good to meet you! I'm a Lightner, but I'm not, uh, one of the heroes or anything like that. I just kind of.. wander in here, sometimes," you tried to explain, suddenly realizing that not a single introduction was made during this entire interaction. You quickly tell them your name, for good measure.
"Oh, right! Sorry, pal, you can call me Battat!" the Pippins said, looking a bit embarrassed. "And that big guy– hm. Well, he's usually a lot bigger. Anyway, that's Mr. Ant Tenna, renowned television host!"
Wait, bigger? Shocked, you looked back up at Tenna. He was easily a good eight feet tall, maybe more if he was hunched over, which you were pretty sure he was. Was this one of those Darkners that could change size? No wonder the doors were so big, you suddenly realized.
Tenna looked between you and Battat, one large hand holding onto the edge of the door. He looked like he was trembling. Maybe you were actually onto something with the 'stray cat' thing; he was looking at you like he couldn't decide if you were to be his savior, or his executioner. Something about it made your heart hurt, and you felt a surge of sympathy for the poor guy.
"Well, Mr. Tenna, it's an honor to meet you! Haha, wow, I've never actually met a celebrity before," you tell him, smiling, intentionally trying to butter him up a bit. Famous people appreciated stuff like that, right?
Thankfully, you seemed to have hit the mark, and he returned your smile with a bashful one of his own. His screen even seemed to gain a slight pink hue to it, like he was blushing. A pair of antennae on top of his head suddenly made themselves known, too, perking up with interest.
"H-hi," he responded, voice lighter than you'd expected. Fidgeting with the edge of the door, he bit his lip in thought for a few moments, pensively. And then he nodded, apparently having made a decision.
"Um. You can come in," he muttered, stepping away from the door to give you room to enter.
Battat was ecstatic, practically jumping around like a flea, muttering in disbelief to themself. "Oh my god, finally! That was so easy! Why didn't I try this before? Am I stupid?!"
Opting to ignore whatever they were freaking out about now, you took a careful step forward and pushed the door open, letting yourself in.
A few feet in front of you stood the famed Ant Tenna. He was in a rumpled-looking red suit, shiny black pants, and a yellow tie that didn't even remotely look like it was tied correctly. The suit jacket wasn't even properly buttoned up, either, most of the buttons undone, and the ones that were 'done' looked like they were all in the wrong holes. He fidgeted with his hands, rubbing and pulling at his fingers anxiously.
Battat soon followed you in, opening their mouth to say something–
"Not you," Tenna grumbled, and if he weren't older than you, you'd say he was pouting. "You go away."
Battat's jaw practically dropped to the floor. One of their eyelids twitched minutely as they looked between you and Tenna. After internally experiencing what you could only assume were all five stages of grief, they took a long breath to compose themself, straightening up.
"O-okay then! That's cool! Haha! I'll just, uh. Go. Of course. Haha," they responded through gritted teeth. They shot you a Look, though you had absolutely no idea of the intent behind it.
You gave them a small, confused wave. They returned it with an over-enthusiastic one of their own, and closed the door behind them as they left.
And you suddenly realized that you were now alone with the strange, eight foot tall TV-headed Darkner.
Usually, a situation like this would be enough to send you into a panic attack, but something about the guy just.. made you feel like he wasn't a threat. Like he couldn't be, even if he wanted to.
"So! Your friend told me you're not, um, feeling too great. Said you've been hiding in your room all day," you said, trying to keep your tone light and careful. You didn't want it to feel like a confrontation, or like he was in trouble, or something.
Oh, god, what were you going to do if he started crying?
Tenna turned his head away from you, his nervous smile being overtaken by a wobbly little frown. He started to pace a little, slowly, his antennae starting to droop again.
"..Not feelin' good," he said quietly, and you could've sworn you saw him shrink a little. Not by much, but it had to have been at least a few inches. Poor little guy. Er, big guy.
…Wait.
Something about the situation was starting to make familiarity ring at the back of your mind, like a long-buried bell.
From what Battat had been telling you, this wasn't anything like how Tenna usually acted, and despite having no prior experience with the guy, you'd have to agree with him. None of this behavior seemed fitting for someone who was apparently a famous, outgoing TV host. It would be fitting, however, for a kid. A scared, confused kid.
Either you were being paranoid and trying to connect dots that didn't exist, or what you were dealing with was actually something you had way more experience with than you'd like to admit.
You just had to do a little more digging first to see what you were working with.
"You feeling sick, buddy?" you asked, hoping the little nickname would be well received. "It's okay if you're feeling sick. You just have to let someone know, okay?"
Tenna's gaze shot back up to you, surprise written clear across his face. You weren't entirely sure why, though. You hadn't really said anything that strange, but then a terribly sad thought occurred to you.
Maybe he just wasn't used to be treated so gently.
"Um.. okay," he relented, giving you a small nod. "B-but I'm not. It's something else.. I think," he added, brow furrowing as he openly struggled to find the right words to say. "I.. I don't know.."
His words trailed off into silence as he stared down at his shaking hands, scowling at them as if they were choosing to misbehave.
"Wh-what's wrong with me?"
It came out as more of a whimper than anything, his voice cracking as he fought to keep his composure. One of his hands reached up to tug on his ill-fitted tie, the other starting to claw at his chest.
Oh, wow. He actually had claws. That dialed up the urgency, just a little bit. You could hear cloth starting to tear.
"Hey, shhh, it's okay!" you interjected, cursing yourself for letting your panic show. Calm. You had to keep things calm. Freaking out was just going to make it worse for the both of you. Your eyes frantically searched the room, trying to see if there was anything around you could use as a distraction, something to keep his hands busy.
Jackpot!
Tossed into a random corner was a.. was that the Dark Prince? It was. Okay. In the corner sat a small plushie, seemingly made in the likeness of Ralsei himself. He didn't really seem like the kind of guy that would have merch of all things, but you just mentally added that to your mile-long list of questions that would probably never get answered. You hurried over and scooped it up, rushing back over to Tenna.
"Hey, Tenna, I've got someone here to see you," you told him, using that silly sort of tone that a parent might use on a sad toddler. You figured it might help.
Thankfully, it did something. Tenna's breathing was still quick and short, his panic still very much present, but his hands froze their movement when he turned to look at you and what you were holding.
"Here. Do you wanna hold him? He's really sooooft." You held out the toy in front of you, palms open. Slowly, slowly, the iron grip on his tie and shirt loosened. With trembling hands, he reached out toward you, unsure but wanting.
You smiled, gently placing the toy in his hands. He stared down at it with something like reverence, carefully bringing it to his chest. He gave it a small squeeze, and it was like the fear just bled out of him; his shoulders visibly started to relax and his breathing wasn't so frantic anymore. He made a small sniffling sound, and your heart felt warm.
"...thank you," Tenna murmured.
Yeah. By this point, you were pretty sure you knew what was going on. The only problem was, no one else seemed to have any clue. But that was fixable! That was fine. This was going to be fine.
"Keep him safe for me, okay? He's pretty fragile," you told him. Really, you just wanted to try to make sure he kept at least a slight focus on the plushie for a while, something to hopefully help keep him a little more grounded. He gave you a nod, a determined look on his features that almost made you laugh. He looked like a man on a mission.
"Good. Thanks, buddy. You're awesome."
Once again, his screen flashed that gentle pink hue. A big, crooked smile lit up his face, and he held the plushie just a little bit tighter. You were pretty sure if he had a tail, it would be wagging like crazy.
"So," you started, pausing to look around. Was there a place to sit? There was a rather large bed in the corner, so that could work. Serious conversations were best had while sitting down, you reasoned.
"Wanna sit down with me and talk about it?" You motioned to the bed as you asked him. He looked over at it like he'd forgotten that was an option. Turning back to you, but tilting his head downward to slightly avoid your gaze, he nodded.
Hoping to make the situation seem a bit less daunting, you took off in a short dash for the bed, running and throwing yourself onto it, landing with a satisfying whumpf! Tenna couldn't help but giggle, a sweet little sound that made your heart swell. He walked over, not quite brave enough to throw himself like you did, but he allowed himself to practically fall into a sitting position, letting out a gentle 'oof!' Afterwards, he looked to you for approval.
You smiled and gave him a thumbs up, making him grin in turn and start kicking his legs with delight, still securely holding the Ralsei plushie to his chest. God, you'd be lying if you said that wasn't one of the most precious thing you'd ever seen.
"Okay, so you said you're not sick, right? No nausea, headaches, nothing like that?" you questioned, feigning professionalism and pretending to scribble something down on an invisible notepad. Subtly, you glanced up to watch his reaction.
Tenna laughed softly before turning away, staring down at the plushie cradled in his arms. He fidgeted with it, making sure to be gentle, and you saw no sign of the claws from earlier, which was a huge relief. After a few moments, he shook his head, but then paused again, nodding. You waited patiently for an explanation.
"Mm, no. Doesn't hurt, just.." he tried to explain, scrunching up his face in concentration. You noticed him rubbing his thumbs against the paws of the plushie: a slow, self-soothing motion. Thank goodness that thing was in the room, you were positive things would be going way less smoothly without it.
He bit his lip, starting to look like he was getting frustrated. Part of you wanted to intervene, but you wanted to give him room to talk, to at least try to express what was wrong.
"..Feels stupid. I f-feel… stupid ," he eventually spat out, frowning down at the toy as his grip on it tightened. He started to kick his legs again, but not in the happy, carefree way he was doing before. These were more like the angry little kicks of a displeased toddler, too young to verbalize what they needed, angry at themself and everyone around them for not being able to just make it all better.
"Well, that's no good. I don't think you're stupid at all. Why do you feel like that, buddy?" you asked, tilting your head, trying to keep your voice calm and friendly, not crackling at the edges with barely-contained heartbreak.
God, this was getting personal. This was getting really, really personal, and it made your heart hurt in ways you hadn't even realized it could. You didn't just want to help the poor guy anymore: you needed to. Turning around and just walking away from him would hurt you just as much as it would hurt him, if not more. It would feel like abandoning a child.
It would feel like abandoning yourself. A smaller, more vulnerable you, the child who needed safety and comfort but never received it, ignored and left to fend for yourself for all those lonely, lonely years.
You would never be able to forgive yourself.
"'Cause I am, " Tenna growled, shoulders hiking up with frustration as he bared some very sharp-looking teeth. "My head feels weird and– And I can't think right, I can't talk right, I'm–" His voice started to crack, and his hands flexed, claws becoming readily apparent once again. Instead of tearing into the toy, however, you watched him drop it to the ground, clenching and unclenching his fists in nothing but empty air.
"They- They're right, I'm–" he struggled to breathe, alternating between big, gasping lungfuls of air and shaky, uneven exhales. "I'm broken! 'm a dumb, stupid, broken old TV , no one–" Suddenly, his hands went to grab his own arms: a sad, empty imitation of a hug, you thought miserably. He squeezed himself, trying so hard not to cry that you were almost worried his screen would crack from the effort.
"No one wants me!" he practically shouted, voice strained from both the power of it and the sudden rage that filled him, the volume catching you off-guard and almost making you jump.
"No one! No one wants a stupid, broken TV!" he yelled again, though weaker this time, his anger coming quick as a flash and leaving twice as fast. You watched his shoulders fall as he continued, the full-body trembling from earlier coming back in full force.
The shrinking thing was happening again, too, you suddenly realized. It had been so gradual until now that you hadn't even caught onto it, but by now, he was starting to look even shorter than you. Long gone was the loud, larger-than-life TV star, and in his place sat a frightened, miserable child.
"Oh, honey," you whispered, hating the way you could hear your own voice crack. You were trying so, so hard to stay calm in the face of it all, but it was hard. It took everything you had to not just burst into tears and scoop him up like a wounded little animal.
"You're not stupid, you're not broken. This isn't.. you're not broken, honey. Is it alright if I try to describe something, and you try to tell me if it sounds right or not?" you offered, hoping he understood what you were saying. He sniffled, stubbornly wiping away a few rogue tears with the back of his hand, probably upset that they had the nerve to fall in the first place. Then he gave a short, apprehensive nod. You figured that was as good of an answer as you were going to get for now.
"Okay. So.. would you say that your head feels kind of.. fuzzy? Like a really soft blanket, or maybe like.. static? Something like that?"
Tenna actually turned his upper body to look at you, then. He didn't have eyes to widen, but you could see the way his brow shot up, his jaw going slack with shock. Then he started nodding, his hands once again fidgeting with each other, tugging on and adjusting the white gloves he wore. Seems you were on the right track.
"Right, right. That's what I figured," you responded thoughtfully, pretending you were wracking your brain for further information, as if this all wasn't something that was practically second nature to you. "So your head feels fuzzy, you're having trouble using your words.. Probably feels kinda scary, huh?"
Tenna nodded again, leaning towards you just a bit more, still confused and uncertain, but the way you spoke was really starting to draw him in. It wasn't just because of how kind you were, it was because you just.. got it! He couldn't believe someone actually understood!
Suddenly, though, his gaze tracked back down to the plushie he'd simply dropped on the floor. A sad frown formed on his face as he looked down at it, crestfallen. He had dropped it on purpose, wanting to spare it any possible damage from his claws, but seeing the way it just laid there, all sad and alone..
Abandoned. Tossed aside like a piece of garbage.
A weak sniffle escaped him, followed by a whimper. He timidly stretched out an arm to pick it up, but he was just a bit too small for that now. His height seemed to be hovering somewhere around three feet, if you had to guesstimate. His arms couldn't even reach the floor, and if he tried too hard to reach for it, he'd probably just fall.
Quickly noticing his distress, you followed Tenna's gaze to the toy, your expression softening. You leaned down and easily scooped it up, plopping it right back into his hands. Surprised, his screen snapped up to look at you, his worry written clearly across his face.
"Scared.." he admitted, holding the toy to his chest once again, though much more gently than the first time, like he was carrying a newborn kitten. " 'm sorry, friend," he whispered regretfully, tucking it under his chin and resting his head on top of it.
"Don't wanna be scared.. Don't wanna be bad. "
The poor thing just sounded so, so overwhelmingly sad, his heart relentlessly torn by a sorrow that was much too big for him to handle, especially like this.
"You're not bad, sweetheart. And it's okay to be scared, but I promise you're gonna be okay. You're not broken, or bad, or stupid." Unable to hold yourself back any longer, you gently placed a hand on top of his head, patting it and startling him slightly. Before you could withdraw your hand, however, you saw him practically melt into the touch. He pressed into it, nuzzling you like an affection-starved animal. You huffed out a small laugh, glad that it netted such a positive response.
"See, I'm thinking that I might know what's going on with you. And it's not bad, " you quickly added, seeing the quick flash of uncertainty on his face. "I've just got one more question for you, okay? It might sound a little weird, but I want you to reaaally try and think about it for me. Is that okay, buddy? Can you do that?"
Tenna's head bobbed affirmatively, though he was clearly trying to make sure he maintained contact with your hand the entire time, not even making the smallest effort to pull away from your touch.
Briefly, you wondered how long it had been since anyone afforded him this kind of casual, affectionate touch. Something told you that you wouldn't like the answer to that question.
Clearing your throat, trying to keep yourself centered, you took a deep breath before asking:
"How old do you feel right now?"
He froze, brow furrowing in confusion, so you tried to clarify.
"Not how old you actually are, physically. But how old you feel? "
Fidgeting with the plushie, he hummed noncommittally. It was a bit of a weird question, to be sure, but you really hoped he would understand. You gave him time to really think about it, casually leaning back on your hands and glancing about the room.
The room was silent for a while, though it was interrupted when he suddenly gasped, like the pieces were finally starting to fall into place.
"I.. um.."
He was starting to catch on, but still seemed to be struggling. You gently tried to encourage him.
"It's okay, there's no wrong answer. You're not gonna get in trouble."
That seemed to help a bit, some of the tension starting to leave his body.
"Feels, um.. like when Kris was little," Tenna murmured softly, unsurely. He shot a hopeful little look up at you, just barely leaning against your hand again, like he was trying to gauge your reaction and comfort himself before any potential fallout.
Kris.. Right, that was one of the heroes, huh? You weren't entirely sure about the connection between those two, but this Kris person sure seemed important to Tenna. You'd have to try to get some more details later.
"Like when Kris was little, huh?" you asked, petting his head again, and this time he let out a pleased little hum. "So you'd say you're feeling pretty small right now, hm?" That time, he responded with a mixture of a nod and another nuzzle, and you smiled. "Well, hey, that's not bad at all. You wanna know a secret?" By that last sentence, you were mock-whispering conspiratorially, playing it up a bit to draw his interest.
He stared up at you, brow raised, and squeezed the Ralsei plushie again. He looked so ready to hear it that he'd forgotten that he was supposed to actually reply. Stifling another laugh, you finally pulled your hand away, though your heart ached at the way he moved to follow it for a moment before remembering himself.
Gesturing with both of your hands now, you motioned for him to move a little closer. He acquiesced, clumsily scooting closer to you, clinging to the toy protectively.
"...I feel like that too, sometimes," you admitted, and it suddenly felt like an old, unbearable weight had been lifted from your shoulders.
Your regression wasn't something you just openly shared with other people. It wasn't something you pranced around showing off, it wasn't something you even really liked. It was just something that happened, sometimes. The mere thought of actually telling another person outside of your niche internet friends typically horrified you, but this was the first time you'd ever seen the other side of it. Seen someone else so small, so scared, so confused and alone.
You refused to let him spend another moment thinking he was broken, thinking he was defective and going to just be thrown away. If this could help him in any way, you were more than willing to share your deepest, most shameful secret, and you had done it with a smile on your face.
Tenna seemed equal parts shocked and relieved by your confession, his antennae relaxing in a way you hadn't seen them do until now. He seemed almost.. hopeful, the way he was staring up at you, awed as if he'd just seen you hang the stars in the sky.
And then, in the tiniest, most fragile voice, he asked: "...really?"
You put a hand to your chest, hoping to convey your sincerity. "Yes, really. It's.. something I've been dealing with for a long time, haha. So, you can trust me when I say it's not bad, right?"
He looked down at his Ralsei plushie, as if they were helping each other come to a conclusion. After a few moments, he nodded. "Mhm. But.." Now he was gently rubbing the ears of the toy between his fingers, pensive. "...why? Why's it happen?"
Now that might be a bit harder to explain to someone feeling so young, but you knew you had to try. You tried to think of how you would explain it to one of your friends.
"Well, sometimes we get really stressed out, right? Some days can just be.. hard. You probably had a pretty rough one, huh?"
Tenna frowned, posture drooping a bit, likely thinking back to whatever had triggered this earlier in the day. "Mhm."
"Right. So sometimes, when we get really stressed, or when we feel really bad, maybe our brains aren't sure how to handle it. Maybe sometimes it's just a little too much," you explained, and he listened with rapt attention, hanging onto your every word, doing his best to commit every word to memory.
"So if our brains get too stressed out, sometimes they can make us feel.. younger. Smaller. It doesn't know what else to do, and it tries to find a different way to make us feel safe. Kids are.. supposed to be cared for and protected, you know?" You couldn't help the way your heart ached as you said the last part, and even you could hear the strain in your voice.
He seemed to be taking it pretty well, though, and you were glad. Kids were way smarter than people gave them credit for.
"...s'not forever?" he mumbled, finally starting to sound a little more optimistic, and you nodded.
"Nope, it's not forever. Just for a little while until we feel better. Does that sound alright, buddy?"
Tenna gave you a little smile, bobbing his head a few times. That was probably the source of most of his anxiety, you thought sadly. The idea that he was stuck like this forever, was never going to be 'normal' again. God, you knew the feeling. No wonder he turned everyone away at the door and refused to be seen, especially considering he didn't even know what was happening to him.
Well, that was never going to happen again. Not if you had anything to say about it.
A series of rapid knocks on the door made you both jump, even eliciting a sharp squeak from Tenna. He instantly leaned closer to you, gaze bouncing between your face and the door. You gave his shoulder a few gentle pats and a squeeze, and he relaxed, just a bit.
"Hey, hey! Surprise visit, big guy! It's yer old pal, Mike!" a voice rang out, sounding weirdly familiar. You squinted your eyes at the doors.
Was that Battat? Who the hell was Mike?
Before you could even voice the question, Tenna started to squirm, looking like he either wanted to run for the door, or flee entirely.
"Hey, it's okay, honey. Do you wanna let your friend in?" you asked him, and he bit his lip, his uncertainty palpable. You hummed thoughtfully. He seemed torn between excitement and fear, so you assumed this 'Mike' person was probably someone he'd be glad to see on a normal day. Maybe you could turn this into a.. group learning experience. Someone here had to learn how to take care of the poor guy, not just some random Lightner who couldn't be here 24/7.
"Would you feel better if I tried to explain things to him first?" you tried, and Tenna perked up, his antennae bouncing. Again, he turned to stare at the door, and then back to you. And then he nodded, bringing his knees up onto the bed, squishing the plushie in the space between his knees and his chest.
You gave him a warm smile and another shoulder squeeze, and stood up.
"Hey, uh, sounds awful quiet in there! Is everything okay?" the voice called out again, starting to sound a little more wound up. You turned your pace into a quick jog, worried that he might try to break the door open if you took much longer.
Turning the lock and pushing the door open, you looked down to see some kind of little.. microphone person. They definitely didn't look like Battat, but you squinted down at them.
"Well hey there, Lightner! Just thought I'd come pay my very, very good friend a visit! You know, check up on him! Make sure he's! Haha! Alive!"
Yep. This was the exact same guy.
"Battat, is that you? Why are you–"
'He' instantly sprang up, rushing closer to you and shushing you frantically, trying to make sure Tenna hadn't heard.
"Shhh, shush! Listen! It's a long story, and I'd love to explain it to ya sometime, but can I please just see Tenna? I.. I'm worried about him, ya know?"
You sighed, nodding.
"I know. He's just.. a little fragile right now, but I figured out what's wrong."
"You did?!" he exclaimed, shocked. "How did you– Ahaha! I knew it! I knew this was a good idea! Thank you, pally! You're a real lifesaver!" He adjusted his bowtie, grinning to himself, and prepared to step into the room.
"Whoa, whoa, hold on," you interrupted, blocking the opening with your body. Mike huffed and crossed his arms, glaring up at you.
"What?!"
"Before you come in, Tenna wanted me to try and explain to you what's happening. You know, in case it ever happens again, so everyone's not caught off-guard next time."
"Next time? What do ya mean, next time? He's just sick, isn't he? Or, or– having a mental break, or a glitch or something! Right?" he asked, holding his head in confusion, desperately looking to you for answers.
"Well, no. He's not sick, and it's not some kind of mental breakdown. Or, well, it is mental, I mean. There's um, there's this thing called 'age regression.' It's a psychological state that–"
"It is mental?! Is he–"
You pinched your brow between your fingers, biting back your mounting frustration. You knew he wasn't trying to be annoying, but if he could just let you finish talking, that would be great.
"Mike. Listen. Stop interrupting me," you told him sternly, and he had the good grace to look a bit sheepish, lowering his head.
"Sorry. I'm just.. just worried, is all," he muttered, clasping his hands together in front of him. You nodded sympathetically.
"It's okay. Look, I promise it's not permanent, it's nothing bad. It's just.. it's like a stress thing. Sometimes someone's brain gets overwhelmed, and they sort of.. mentally regress. They start acting like a kid, basically. It's kind of like your mind's way of protecting itself when it's exhausted just about every other option."
He kept himself silent as he listened to your explanation, his expression becoming thoughtful.
"...Huh. That.. that kinda tracks, actually," he murmured, mostly to himself, but you caught onto it.
"It tracks? Has he done something like this before?"
His shoulders hiked up a bit, instinctively defensive, but he sighed, giving you a small nod.
"I mean.. Figured it was something. I am the one who usually tucks him in, ya know. And reads his bedtime stories. And puts on his favorite bedtime programs–" he rambled, but froze when he saw the look you were giving him.
You were biting your lip, trying to hold back laughter.
"You.. you're his caregiver. You are actually his caregiver," you stated flatly, trying to keep a straight face. It wasn't that the situation was funny, it was just.. how did they do all of that and not know?
It was hilarious, yes, but also sweet. It was really, really sweet.
He waved his hands dismissively and even stomped a foot, huffing in irritation. "Hey! It's not funny! What's– I'm his what?"
Allowing yourself a small laugh, you grinned down at him. "His caregiver. That's the term for, uh, someone who usually looks after someone who's regressing."
Mike visibly struggled, unsure how to react to this information, but you couldn't help but notice he looked a little.. proud.
"Tch. Of course I do! Who else is gonna do it? I'm the one who's got all his favorite stories memorized. And his favorite songs. Ya think any of the schmucks around here could pull that off? Don't think so! They'd probably fumble the ending and make him cry, or something!"
You couldn't help it. You were laughing now, hunched over and clutching your stomach. All of the nerves from the day were officially gone. This was the funniest, sweetest series of events you had ever experienced in your life. This place was like an actual cartoon.
You were glad that your initial assumption was wrong. Tenna wasn't alone at all. Sure, no one knew the word for it, but he still had people around him who cared for him the best they could. It made your chest feel tight.
"Alright, alright. You can come in. Just.. be nice, okay? He's really fragile right now. And for what it's worth, he did seem pretty excited when he heard it was 'Mike' at the door," you added, shooting him a wink.
Mike sputtered, actually seeming a little taken aback before composing himself, pausing to straighten his bowtie. "Hmph. O-of course he was. That's 'cause I'm his favorite, and don't you forget it!"
At that, he squeezed right past you, entering the room with wide, open arms.
"Tenna! Big- oh, wow, you're small. Hey, small-big guy! Ya miss me?"
" Mike! " Tenna practically squealed. He rushed to get off the bed so quickly that he nearly tripped, making you and Mike wince in unison. Thankfully, though a little wobbly, he managed to stand, clumsily rushing over to meet his friend.
Mike, seeing his unsteadiness, did a small jog, meeting him about halfway there. Tenna threw his arms around him, clinging to him like his life depended on it, his Ralsei plushie dangling precariously from between two fingers of his right hand. He buried his face into Mike's shoulder, nuzzling him.
Mike looked to be frozen in place. You weren't sure what the usual affection levels between the two looked like, but he probably wasn't used to something so direct and open. He looked flabbergasted for a few moments before he finally relented, wrapped his own arms around Tenna in turn, holding him close and giving him a protective squeeze.
"Hey, buddy. You doin' alright? You wouldn't let me in earlier, ya know. Had me real worried," Mike told him, tone softer than you thought it could be. Not scolding, not admonishing, just.. the voice of a concerned caregiver. It made you smile.
Tenna clung to Mike even harder, eliciting a small squeak from the man.
" 'm sorry, Mike," Tenna whimpered, voice muffled from where his screen was still pressed against his shoulder. "I didn'.. I didn' know what to do, and it was scary, and–" He interrupted himself with a sudden, powerful sob that shook his entire body. "P-please don' be mad, please, " he begged, tears streaming down his face, soaking the fabric of Mike's suit jacket as he trembled.
Mike gently shushed him, one of his hands rubbing Tenna's back in long, slow strokes. "Shhh. Nobody's mad, little guy. I promise. If anyone's mad at you, you're gonna get a front row seat to them gettin' a limited edition Mike-brand Knuckle Sandwich, ya hear me?"
A shaky laugh cut through Tenna's cries.
"Y'gonna beat 'em up?" he asked, his voice still wobbly and uneven, thick from tears.
"Damn right, little buddy. Er, I mean.. darn right. Haha."
Mike looked to you then, his grin faltering a bit. Was he looking to your for reassurance? Well, he was gonna get it, alright.
You gave him a thumbs up.
Behind Tenna's back, you could see Mike pump his fist victoriously, and you laughed.
Still clinging to Mike like he was a lifeline, Tenna's shaking gradually started to subside. He seemed to relax even further against the small man, antennae starting to droop with what you could only assume was exhaustion. You'd been wondering when he'd finally start to crash; the poor guy had had an absolute rollercoaster of a day, and it probably took a lot out of him.
Your suspicions were confirmed when, moments later, he let out the cutest, most dramatic yawn you'd ever heard, ending it with a small whine.
"Aw, someone's tired," you commented, and Mike, to his credit, caught on pretty quick.
"Is that right? Ya ready for a nap, Tens?" he asked, giving the tv a small shake to catch his attention. The poor thing seemed like he was about to fall asleep standing up.
"Mm.. nooo.." Tenna whined weakly, burying his face into Mike's shoulder again.
Mike tutted good-naturedly, patting his back. And then, suddenly, he swept an arm under Tenna's legs and scooped him up, cradling him in his arms. He seemed rather pleased with himself, shooting you a proud smile.
Tenna, despite his protests, couldn't help but melt into the touch, the plushie once again wrapped in his arms as he rested his head against Mike's chest.
You couldn't help but feel immensely proud of him, of both of them. Sure, it was.. a bit awkward now, standing off to the side and feeling like some random interloper, but it was because of you that they'd gotten this far, right? It was a strangely bittersweet feeling.
You knew you didn't belong here, but for a while there, you really felt like.. like it was everything you'd ever wanted, somehow. Which was probably weird, considering those were two people you'd just met.
Shaking your head, you stood tall and cleared your throat, catching Mike's attention.
"I hope he gets some good rest. Poor guy had a long day," you say, turning to look at the door. "If.. if you see me around, let me know how he's doing, okay? If that's cool, I mean."
Immediately after saying that, you started to walk toward the door, ignoring the burning feeling in your eyes. It felt like you were coming down from an emotional high, and reality was finally starting to set in. This wasn't your home, wasn't your family. Really, it was none of your business at the end of the day, right?
You'd just be getting in the way.
When your hand wrapped around the doorknob, a sudden, sharp noise made you stop in place. It was a high, keening whine, and you turned to see Tenna, still being cradled by Mike, reaching a shaking hand out towards you.
"Nnoo.. don'go," he whimpered, and you could see him starting to get worked up again. Mike rocked him slowly, gently shushing him.
"Hey, if they gotta go, they gotta go, Tens. But, if they wanted to.. I dunno, come by and hang out sometime in the future, I'd be hard-pressed to say no, ya feel me?" Mike mused, giving you a small, friendly smile.
Tenna nodded frantically against Mike's chest, his hand tightly grasping the fabric of his suit. "P'ease," he murmured, once again beginning to lose his battle against sleep as his screen flickered a bit, starting to dim.
Your nose burned, tears welling up in the corners of your eyes. You gave them the biggest, toothiest smile you could muster. It felt like your heart was suddenly too big for your chest, full and warm in ways that you hadn't even been sure you could still feel.
Up in the Light World, you didn't have much. A normal, boring job, a small group of friends on the internet, but no real friends within a 200 mile radius. Truthfully, you spent most days just going through the motions, walking through each step like a checklist because.. well, it's what needed to be done. You just did what you had to.
You never really felt like you fit in anywhere, never found a place that felt right. Nothing ever felt like home.
But today.. It was like you felt a small part of you come back to life. A vulnerable, frightened part of you that you were sure you'd never see again, buried away, suffocated under years of neglect and disuse, but there it was. Shining like a beacon in the darkness, so bright it felt like your chest would burst with the sheer force of it.
You started to hope again.