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2013-02-03
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Double Bunny Dare You

Summary:

Jack thought he'd had the last laugh over the Bunny. He really should've known better.

Notes:

You can think of this as a follow-up, but both fics an also stand independently.

Work Text:

Toothiana was sitting companionably with Sandy in what passed for a kitchen in the Tooth Palace.

Suddenly, the window opened and Jack Frost floated in, chuckling to himself.

"Hello Jack." The fairy greeted brightly. "Someone seems to be in a good mood."

"Yeah." Jack only grinned harder as he returned the wave Sandy gave him and accepted the teacup offered to him by a tendril of glowing sand.

"I just made the bet of bets with the Kangaroo." the white haired boy announced as he plunked himself down on an empty chair at the table.

The two elder Guardians traded glances, amused despite themselves. The rivalry between the Winter Spirit and the Easter Bunny was both an endless annoyance and a source of amusement for the rest of the immortals.

Sandy conjured up a series of question marks, asking for details.

"Well... Sure you know that pookas are shapeshifters, though Cottontail prefers to stay as a bunny, right?" Jack started.

Sandy rolled his eyes good-naturedly, and Toothiana nodded. Of course.

"And you know how Bunny just LOVES that sleazy old Mr. Groundhog?" Jack's grin just kept spreading. He was enjoying this way too much.

Well, now he certainly had the other two guardians' attention. The rabbit and the groundhog had loathed each other in perfect harmony for centuries. Bunnymund claimed it was all because of the rodent's snooty attitude and well-known grabby habits around females, but most would venture it was at least partially because both of them were rather territorial about their time of the year.

The two guardians both nodded again, suddenly feeling wary.

"Well, I dared Bunny to turn himself into a FEMALE bunny, and then pay a visit to the Groundhog under some excuse. And if he does, I'll be his slave for the whole year!" The frost spirit finished with a flourish, leaning back and propping his feet up on the edge of the table while holding his teacup high as if toasting himself.

Silence reigned as every creature in the room sat frozen in shock. One of the fairies milling about forgot to watch when she was going, and hit the window with a muffled 'bonk' but was ignored. Even the golden sand usually swirlng about the Guardian of Dreams had lost all momentum and fallen to the floor, forming tiny sand dunes around the shell-shocked Sandman.

"Jack..." Toothiana choked for a moment, and then continued carefully: "Are you sure that was... well... a good idea?"

"Nope, it's a brilliant idea!" the teen beamed. "The Kangaroo would never in a million years willingly go withing three miles of the Groundhog under normal circumstance. And he'd rather shave his ears than bring himself within grabbing range if he had any female parts to grab, so it can only-"

Whatever Jack was saying was cut off by a sudden loud thump that came from the next room. There was a brief shuffling before the door openend, and in the doorway stood none other than one haggard looking E. Aster Bunnymund. The rabbit's fur was sticking in every direction, some patches near his middle looking like entire handfuls of it had been pulled out. He was leaning against the doorjamb, gasping for breath as if he'd run around the world, and there was a noticeable tick in his eye, but he was also grinning like he'd just taken a side job as the March Hare.

"I got'cha now, Frostbite."

That one phrase did the impossible: It sent chills down Jack Frost's spine. The bunny abandoned his post in the doorway, and approached the group at the table in a slow, measured stride.

"It was Hell. It was World War three and Pitch Black's nightmare army rolled in one, but I did it, and here's your proof." With that, Bunnymund fished a slip of paper from under his belt, and slapped it on the table in clear view of everyone in the room.

At a quick glance, the difference really wasn't all that remarkable. The Bunnymund in the polaroid snapshot had the same grey fur and lanky build as the one they all were used to, but the face was rounder, softer. The cheek ruff wasn't as obvious and the eyes were larger, doe-like, if one could be pardoned for the obvious pun, framed by rather adorable dark lashes. The main difference seemed to be in the upper torso area, which seemed... poofier. With the implication that all of that notable volume wasn't made by fur. A notion which was supported by the Grounhog, who was enthusiastically snuggling his face into said voluminous chest, while keeping a tight grip of the rabbit's waist, which was now just the right width for his short arms to wrap around. The rodent's rapturous expression was neatly matched by the rabbit's horrified 'Oh god getitoffme!'-look. All in all, the tableau rather resembled the infamous cartoon skunk Pepe le Pew with an unfortunate she-cat with a stripe painted down her back.

Jack looked up, his attention grabbed by a tittering sound. Baby Tooth, and two other fairies were hovering near Bunnymund's shoulder, carrying a camera and trying to muffle their giggles.

"Traitor." Jack mumbled under his breath.

Suddenly Jack found himself grabbed and spun around, chair and all, and then Bunnymund was in his face, almost nose to nose, leaning over him menacingly.

"I did it." the pooka repeated. "And now... your skinny, pale ass is mine."

The winter Guardian really, really didn't like the smile on his furry face as he said that.

With that, the bunny turned on his heel and walked away. "Be at the warren bright and early tomorrow, mate. I've got some work for you to do."

And then he was gone.

The teen sat very, very still for a long moment before turning to his fellow guardians.

"Help?"

Sandy crossed his arms and turned pointedly away, sand over his head forming a hand that wagged a scolding finger at the boy. Jack had made his bed.

Toothiana hid her smirk in her teacup. "The one thing Bunnymund hates more than the Groundhog, is losing."