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As Ryunosuke walked into the campus coffee shop and ordered, he spotted Susato sitting at a table by the window. He slid into the chair across from her, greeting her.
“Oh, hello, Ryunosuke! Nice of you to join me,” Susato said, looking up from her phone.
“Unfortunately, I’m not staying long. I’m headed to Kazuma’s dorm for a bit, and I probably should get going soon.”
“Really? You do know there’s supposed to be a bad storm coming in tonight? There’s talk of a tornado watch, even.” Susato gave Ryunosuke a concerned look. “I know how you are about weather like this.” Ryunosuke averted his eyes.
“Oh, I’ll be fine. The last time they said that, it was nothing more than a drizzle. Besides, I’ve got an umbrella in my bag,” Ryunosuke shrugged.
“Whatever you say. I’m also leaving soon, actually. Rei’s meeting me at my dorm,” she blushed.
“Oh, is she now? What happened to the ‘bad storm?’”
“Unlike you, Rei’s already planning on staying the night. Her roof always gets leaky when it rains, so I offered to let her come over until it passes,” Susato explained.
“I see. Well, rest assured, I’ll make it back to my place before anything happens. See you later, and tell Rei I said hi, okay?” Ryunosuke got up.
“I will, see you soon!”
With that, Ryunosuke picked up two coffees from the counter and headed for Kazuma’s dorm. Unfortunately for him, holding two coffees meant he couldn’t also carry an umbrella, and just minutes after he stepped outside, the rain started. Luckily, Kazuma didn’t take long to open the door.
“Ryunosuke, you’re soaked,” Kazuma said plainly, staring at his wet hair and clothes.
“Nice going, Herlock. Can I come in, please?”
Kazuma backed out of the way, but stopped him before he stepped off the doormat.
“You’re crazy if you think you can come in like that. Let me get you a towel first,” Kazuma said, taking the drinks out of Ryunosuke’s hands and putting them on the kitchen counter. He then ducked into the bathroom.
“What are the two coffees for, anyway? Are you planning on not sleeping all night or something?” Kazuma laughed as he reemerged, handing Ryunosuke a towel.
“Please, as if I’d ever drink coffee without sugar. That one’s yours,” Ryunosuke said, patting his hair down. Kazuma paused.
“Oh. Thank you.” Ryunosuke swore he saw Kazuma’s cheeks turn the slightest shade of red before he turned away to pick up his coffee and take a sip. Ryunosuke was glad he didn’t question the coffee; he certainly wasn’t looking to explain why he had Kazuma’s order memorized.
A beat, then; “Ugh. These clothes aren’t going to dry anytime soon, that’s for sure.”
Kazuma didn’t even hesitate before saying, “You can borrow mine if you want.”
Ryunosuke froze. “It’s okay, really. I can use a blow dryer, or I can just stay in these, they’re not that wet—”
“Seriously? You’re going to catch a cold in minutes. I really don’t mind.”
I very much mind, Ryunosuke thought. What if they smell like Kazuma? What if I don’t ever give them back?
Kazuma clearly wasn’t going to let him not wear his clothes, however, so Ryunosuke agreed.
“You can put your clothes in the dryer once you’ve changed,” Kazuma said as he handed him a shirt and a pair of pants, both neatly folded. He then took his coffee to the living room and sat down on the couch.
“Thanks a lot, Kazuma.” Ryunosuke then locked himself in the bathroom. He unfolded the clothes, taking a look at what Kazuma had given him.
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“…Partner? You’ve been in there for a while, are you okay?” Kazuma, though he wasn’t going to admit it to himself, was getting a little worried.
“Um, Kazuma? I think these might be too big,” Ryunosuke’s voice echoed from the bathroom.
“Sorry, but they were the smallest I had. They aren’t that bad, surely?” Kazuma heard the sound of the lock clicking before Ryunosuke stepped out. Kazuma felt his heart rate spike when he saw him.
They certainly weren’t a great fit for Ryunosuke, no. The shirt hung loosely off his shoulders, his collarbone showing. The sleeves fell past his wrists, and the pants sat just a little too low on his waist.
Kazuma suddenly realized he’d been staring at him for way too long to be normal. God, he’s so cute.
Ryunosuke looked away, embarrassed. “I don’t know if these are going to work, I—”
“No, they look fine on you,” Kazuma said without thinking. Better than fine; they look perfect. You look perfect.
“Oh. Okay, um, if you say so.” Ryunosuke grabbed his bag and sat down on the couch. “Well, at least my backpack is waterproof, or else I’d be totally screwed right now.”
Outside the window, the rain was coming down harder than before.
“Do you think this will let up anytime soon?” Ryunosuke asked, staring out the window. He sounds almost nervous, Kazuma noted. I wonder what that’s about…
“Not sure. The weather report said it shouldn’t clear up until 2 a.m.”
“What? Oh no, I knew I should have went home, Susato tried to warn me, but—”
“You’re already here, aren’t you? The worst-case scenario is you have to leave tomorrow morning, right?” Rather, the best-case scenario, Kazuma thought. …No, get it together. Maybe he wouldn’t want to, maybe he’d be uncomfortable—that’s the last thing I want to happen.
“I guess. It could be kind of fun, right? Like a sleepover? I haven’t had one in ages,” Ryunosuke grinned.
Huh. Alright.
“I sleep over in your dorm all the time, does that not count?”
“No, it doesn’t, because we always just study until we both fall asleep. No sleepover activities involved.”
“Oh? What kind of sleepover activities were you thinking?” Kazuma smirked.
“I wasn’t—I mean, the weather might improve soon anyway, right? Like, I might not even get—I mean, have to sleep over tonight, right?” Ryunosuke stammered. Oh, Kazuma thought. Does he not…?
“So staying the night at my house would be a problem, would it?” The faintest shadow crossed Kazuma’s eyes.
“No! No, I didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry. I was trying to say that I didn’t want to force you into letting me stay longer than intended, that’s all.”
Kazuma chuckled. “You have such a way with words when speaking for an audience, yet somehow you’re a mess without one. It’s okay, partner. You can stay as long as you want.” Like forever, maybe. If you want. Please. Please.
Ryunosuke smiled at him. Kazuma felt like falling apart.
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“What was it you were coming over to do in the first place?”
Ryunosuke was startled; they’d been sitting quietly, sipping their coffee together for the last fifteen minutes or so. Ryunosuke completely forgot he had a reason for visiting—or rather, a reason besides Kazuma, Ryunosuke thought.
“Oh! Right, um, I have to finish annotating this book we’re reading. I only have a few more chapters left, but I’ve been putting it off for so long, I thought the only way I could get it done was if you forced me to,” Ryunosuke said, pulling his laptop out of his bag.
“Well, you’ve never been very good at self-discipline, have you?”
“It’s just so hard to bring myself to sit down and do these things, you know? That’s why I have you, Kazuma,” Ryunosuke laughed. He cuffed his sleeves to start typing.
“Whatever gets you to keep up with your work, I suppose,” Kazuma sighed. “If we’re going to be here a while, let me turn on some music.” He walked over to the TV stand and opened the drawers, revealing what must be at least a hundred different vinyl records. Ryunosuke watched in awe as Kazuma ran his finger across every one, searching.
“You own a record player? That’s so old-school of you.” Ryunosuke cocked his head, smiling.
“There’s nothing like physical media, partner. You appreciate the music more this way.”
Ryunosuke squinted at the spines, but couldn’t see what any of them were from where he was sitting on the couch. He must have a very specific one in mind, I suppose, Ryunosuke thought—Kazuma was flipping through the records for minutes on end. Finally, he pulled one out, set it on his record player, and dropped the needle. It was nothing Ryunosuke had heard before; it sounded very 70s, but he couldn’t guess anything else.
“What is this?”
“Just listen, you’ll see.” Kazuma sat back down on the couch and took a sip of coffee. “But listen and work, alright?”
“Oh, right. Thanks.” Ryunosuke stared resolutely at his computer screen, determined to finish at a reasonable time.
They stayed that way for a while. Silent, except for the crackling vinyl, Ryunosuke’s keyboard, and the rain pounding on the window. Still, except for the constant glances Kazuma snuck at Ryunosuke, which Ryunosuke tried—and failed—to ignore.
He was almost certain that every time Kazuma got up to flip the vinyl, when he sat down again, he was a little closer than before. It was a little hard to concentrate on schoolwork when, with every few inches of space between them lost, his heart rate quickened a little. He didn’t dare move, but part of him wished that the next time Kazuma stood, he would sit right next to Ryunosuke, close enough that their legs would brush together; maybe Kazuma would lean his head on Ryunosuke’s shoulder, or play with his hair, or just tell him without words that he’s here, and he’s not leaving, and this is real…
For better or for worse, Kazuma never did.
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“Hey, I’m done!”
Kazuma quickly looked out the window. Shit, I hope he didn’t see me staring at him just now. Kazuma couldn’t help it—Ryunosuke was just so pretty when he was focused, with his brows furrowed and jaw slightly clenched.
“That was fast. You must not have had that much work, then?”
“No, not much. Once I started, it was easy to finish. Anyway, I’m starving, do you have anything to eat?”
“Partner, your stomach has been rumbling ever since you got here. It was honestly sad, so I took the liberty of ordering both of us dinner.”
“Really? Oh, you’re the best. What’d you get?” Ryunosuke asked, his eyes sparkling. The way Ryunosuke looked at him was enough to make Kazuma buy him dinner every night, if he wanted it.
“Just pizza. Almost every other place that does delivery is closed due to the weather, unfortunately.”
“That’s fine. I just wish our sukiyaki place would do delivery. The day they start will be the day I go totally broke,” Ryunosuke laughed.
…Wait, did he just say ‘our’ sukiyaki place? Kazuma replayed the sentence over and over in his head. Our sukiyaki place…it could be ours, couldn’t it?
The doorbell rang, pulling Kazuma out of his thoughts.
“That should be the food, I’ll go get it.”
Kazuma set the pizza box down in the kitchen after leaving the delivery driver a handsome tip. Ryunosuke began pulling out plates and cups from different cabinets—he didn’t even need to ask where anything was. It’s like he already lives here, Kazuma thought.
“I didn’t know what kind you wanted, so I ordered pepperoni and sausage. Hope that’s okay,” Kazuma said, glancing at Ryunosuke.
“Kazuma, you know I’ll eat anything. This looks delicious.” Ryunosuke put a couple of slices on his plate, poured himself a glass of water, and sat down at the table. Kazuma did the same. They talked about nothing of real importance: that day’s classes, Soseki’s exchange trip to England, the Yumei food court...
It felt so natural to Kazuma; he could imagine every one of their evenings looking like this. He could imagine them coming home together, eating meals together, and getting ready for bed together. Kazuma wanted it all more than anything—no, he wanted Ryunosuke more than anything.
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They had barely finished eating when suddenly, the lights flickered off. The first thing Ryunosuke did was search for Kazuma in the darkness; their eyes met, and Ryunosuke calmed down a little.
“Damn it, the power’s gone out, has it?” Kazuma cursed under his breath. With his phone flashlight, he got up and rifled through a closet, pulling out a set of lanterns. Outside, the storm continued relentlessly.
“Guess there’s no chance of me coming home now, is there?” Ryunosuke laughed nervously. He couldn’t decide if it was a dream or his worst nightmare, being stuck with Kazuma all night. Normally, their nights together were filled with studying, but now, with nothing to occupy Ryunosuke, he feared his thoughts would keep landing on Kazuma.
“No, you’ll have to stay here. It’s alright, I have everything we need to stay comfortable overnight, so we can wait it out.” Kazuma switched on the lanterns, placing one in the kitchen and another in the living room. He then started lighting candles everywhere the lanterns’ light didn’t reach. Even before Ryunosuke could see anything, he could tell how composed Kazuma was; Ryunosuke, on the other hand, was practically having heart palpitations.
“I’m going to call Susato and Rei and make sure they’re doing okay,” Ryunosuke said, pulling out his phone. He sincerely hoped his voice didn’t give away how anxious the power outage was making him. Now that the room was lit, he felt better—kind of. He could still smell Kazuma’s scent on the clothes he gave Ryunosuke, which, strangely, also worked to ease his tension.
“Oh, are they spending the night together as well?” Kazuma didn’t look back at Ryunosuke when he asked. Ryunosuke wished he did; he thought looking into Kazuma’s eyes again might make him a little less dizzy. He took a deep breath.
“Yeah, Susato said something about Rei always getting a leaky roof when it rains, so they’re both sleeping in Susato’s dorm tonight.”
“Please, as if that were true. There’s nothing wrong with Rei’s roof,” Kazuma scoffed. “They just wanted an excuse to spend time together.”
“What? Ugh, I should’ve known from how excited Susato looked when she told me,” Ryunosuke shook his head, clicking the ‘FaceTime’ button on Susato’s contact. After a few seconds of ringing, she picked up.
“Hey! Are you alright?” He could tell none of her lights were on, either.
“Yes, I’m fine, but Kazuma’s power just went out. Is yours out too?”
“Oh, yes, unfortunately. I told you it was going to be a bad storm, Ryunosuke!” She scolded playfully.
Ryunosuke blushed. “Yes, well, I guess I didn’t think this all the way through… Where’s Rei, anyway? Is she still with you?”
Susato couldn’t hide the smile that grew on her face. “She’s right here, yes. Rei, it’s Ryunosuke, look!” The camera panned over to show Rei busy doing something in Susato’s kitchen. Rei set down a large bowl and skipped over to Susato, leaning over her shoulder. “Hi, Ryunosuke!” With Rei’s face illuminated by the phone, he could see white powder on her nose and cheeks.
“Hi, Rei! What were you doing in the kitchen just now?”
“I’m making no-bake cookie dough! Can’t have a sleepover without a sweet treat, right?” Rei said cheerfully.
“Once she had the idea, I couldn’t stop her, of course,” Susato sighed. “She— Rei! You’ve got flour all over your face!”
Rei swiped at her cheek. “The messier the chef, the better the food, right?”
“Oh, come here.” Susato gently wiped the flour off Rei’s face, who turned beet red. Rei giggled.
“Thanks, Susato. Hey, Ryunosuke, who’s that behind you?”
“It’s Kazuma, I’m staying in his dorm right now.”
Rei grinned devilishly. “Oh, you two are so cute.”
Ryunosuke nearly choked. “W-what!? That’s not—I mean, we’re not—” It’s not like that! I mean, Kazuma and I aren’t…what is she suggesting?
Without missing a beat, Rei continued, “Bring Kazuma over here, I want to talk to him.”
Without warning, Kazuma appeared next to Ryunosuke and leaned down next to him. He was so close, his hair brushed against Ryunosuke’s cheek. Ryunosuke’s breath hitched. “Hello, you two,” Kazuma said casually. Does he really have to stand this close? Better question: when did it get so hot in here?
“Hi, Kazuma! So was Ryunosuke getting stranded at your place part of your plan, or just a happy coincidence?” Rei raised an eyebrow. Ryunosuke was so shocked, he dropped his phone onto the table. “Rei!” He gasped.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kazuma shrugged as Ryunosuke steadied the camera again. “He came over to get some work done, and that’s it.”
“Uh-huh. Well, anyways, have fun with your date night!” Rei laughed. She kissed Susato on the cheek, then returned to the kitchen. What the hell, Rei? Ryunosuke couldn’t speak. Kazuma only rolled his eyes.
“Good luck to you, Ryunosuke, and I’ll talk to you later!” Susato smiled as if she knew something he didn’t before hanging up.
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“What was all that about? I mean, honestly, to think this is…” Ryunosuke stammered. He’s so cute when he’s flustered, Kazuma thought.
“Don’t think about it too hard, partner. This doesn’t have to mean anything.” It could, though. It could.
“R-right…anyway, um, what now?” …Am I desperate, or was that a hint of disappointment in Ryunosuke’s voice just now?
“I checked the news, and the power isn’t expected to come back for a few hours.”
Ryunosuke held his chin in thought. His face, illuminated by the soft shine of the candles, seemed to almost glow. Kazuma could have stared at him forever.
“Oh! What about a game of Truth or Dare?” Ryunosuke exclaimed. Kazuma would’ve gone along with anything he asked, of course, but this worked.
“Fine by me.” They went back to the living room and sat down on the couch.
“I’ll go first,” Kazuma said. “Truth or dare?”
Ryunosuke paused for a moment. “Truth.”
Kazuma knew what he really wanted to ask, but he started off simple. “What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done in front of an audience?”
Ryunosuke turned red and rubbed the back of his head. “It’s—it’s nothing crazy, I mean—”
“Oh, come on! It must be, or else you wouldn’t be this sheepish!”
“Fine, fine,” Ryunosuke sighed in defeat. “It was my first time reading anything I’d written for a crowd, and it was actually going alright! I was feeling confident, and the audience seemed to enjoy it. When I got off the stage, however, Susato burst out laughing in my face. It was only then that I noticed my shirt was backwards.”
Kazuma gaped at him. “You can’t be serious.”
Ryunosuke buried his face in his hands. “I was so ashamed, I nearly swore off ever doing anything for a crowd. Honestly, I went home and cried.”
“Oh, partner! Well, in any case, I’m glad you didn’t. You have a talent for poetry and speech, it’s very impressive.”
“You’re only saying that to comfort me, aren’t you?”
“No, I mean it! …That is pretty embarrassing, though,” Kazuma chuckled.
They went on like that for a while: Kazuma told the story of the time he nearly got into a fistfight with his law teacher, Ryunosuke had to swallow a spoonful of mayonnaise, and so on…until Ryunosuke picked truth.
Kazuma sobered. I probably shouldn’t be so bold, but…
“Do you have a crush on anyone?”
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Ryunosuke froze. He averted Kazuma’s eyes. Oh no. Oh no, no, no…what do I say? I can’t tell him the truth, obviously…or can I?
“Partner?” Kazuma looked at Ryunosuke like his life depended on the next thing Ryunosuke said.
It’s just a yes or no question, it won’t give anything away, he won’t know. He won’t know.
“...Yes.”
For the briefest of moments—so brief, Ryunosuke almost thought he imagined it—Kazuma’s eyes widened, but just as quickly as it happened, he looked totally calm. Kazuma laughed.
“Is that so? Who is it?”
Ryunosuke panicked. “I answered your question, I don’t have to say anything!” That was close. Too close.
“Alright, fine.”
It was Ryunosuke’s turn; Kazuma picked truth. Ryunosuke’s ears rang. He felt a strange adrenaline rush. If I don’t ask now, I might never get the chance again, he thought…
“Do you have a crush on anyone?” His heart hammered in his chest. He’s going to say no. He’s going to say no and I can’t look disappointed when he does.
Kazuma stared right into Ryunosuke’s eyes. “Yes.”
Ryunosuke blinked. There’s no way he just said that. He felt his cheeks turn hot.
“Oh. I, um, didn’t realize.”
Kazuma still held his gaze. “I suspect you’ll find out who it is soon, partner.” Somehow, he sounded both lighthearted and totally serious at the same time.
“Aw, I don’t get to find out now?” Ryunosuke forced a laugh. I really hope I don’t sound desperate.
“Only if you tell me yours first.” Kazuma leaned back, but he was still staring at Ryunosuke intently. Ryunosuke nearly fainted.
“No, no, I’m quite alright!” His voice was too high-pitched to pretend to be casual.
Before Kazuma could respond, a large bolt of lightning flashed outside the window. After a few seconds, deafening thunder filled the room. Ryunosuke jumped. His breathing quickened. His eyes darted around the room. His thoughts raced so fast, he could barely hear…
“Partner? Are you okay?”
Ryunosuke didn’t respond. Kazuma put his hand on his shoulder. Ryunosuke visibly relaxed a little.
“Yeah.” His tone was unconvincing, and he knew it.
“You’re safe with me.”
Ryunosuke nodded. His eyes closed for a moment. “...Thank you.”
“I have a few board games, if you want to play?”
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After spending the last two hours getting into heated arguments over Monopoly, both of them were very tired, so they took turns in the bathroom getting ready for bed. Ryunosuke pulled out Kazuma’s spare mattress and set a lantern beside it.
As Kazuma lay there in the dark, he could hear Ryunosuke’s quick breathing. He could hear him turn over, then back, then over again… Kazuma wanted nothing more than to reach out, to tell him he’s safe, to hold him until he falls asleep…
The loudest lightning strike yet echoed in Kazuma’s ears. He could hear a sharp intake of breath from Ryunosuke. Kazuma couldn’t handle just doing nothing anymore.
“Ryunosuke?”
…A very shaky “mm?” in response.
“I can tell you aren’t sleeping. Is it the storm?”
Ryunosuke rolled over to face Kazuma. He nodded weakly, his face pale.
Kazuma didn’t even realize what he was doing before he felt himself leave his bed, walk over to Ryunosuke’s mattress, lift the covers, and slide in next to him. Against his better judgment, he lay as close as he possibly could to Ryunosuke and told himself it was only to comfort him, that it was only because of the storm he was doing this.
He knew he was lying to himself.
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Ryunosuke felt like dying right then and there. He was already hardly coherent before, but now that Kazuma was pressed right up against him?
Oh my god, he’s so close. I can’t do this, I’m going to have a heart attack.
Despite himself, he didn’t have it in him to resist when Kazuma whispered right in his ear, sending a shiver down his spine: “I’m right here, partner.”
Ryunosuke felt his fear and tension evaporate. I shouldn’t be enjoying this. Is that weird? Please say Kazuma can’t tell that I really like it when he’s this close…
Somehow, he didn’t care all that much when Kazuma pulled him even closer, forcing Ryunosuke to lay his head on Kazuma’s chest.
“Better?”
Ryunosuke sighed contentedly in response. The halfway-rational side of his brain screamed at him to pull himself together, to get up, to do something…
He didn’t do anything of the sort. Kazuma ran his fingers through Ryunosuke’s hair. Ryunosuke melted. He didn’t think he’d ever felt more comfortable than he did in that moment, as Kazuma gently stroked his cheek. Normally, he’d be on fire—he should be on fire—but the storm must have done something to Ryunosuke because in that moment, all he felt was peace. He’d been waiting too long for this.
Can we just stay like this for a while? Can we stay like this forever? He buried his face in Kazuma’s shirt and felt the rise and fall of his chest.
Though Ryunosuke tried to stay awake as long as possible, eventually, sleep finally overtook him.
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The first thing Kazuma felt when he woke up was Ryunosuke’s body pressed into him from behind. The storm had stopped, but the power wasn’t back yet, resulting in the entire dorm being eerily quiet. He opened his eyes blearily and checked his phone: 2:31 a.m. Even if it were daytime, he wouldn’t have gotten up, not when Ryunosuke was like this.
He slowly, carefully, lifted his head to turn and look at Ryunosuke, whose face was nestled in Kazuma’s neck. His hair was all mussed up; his lips were slightly parted. His pants—or rather, Kazuma’s pants—showed a peek of skin at Ryunosuke’s hip. Kazuma had to stop himself from running his fingers along his waist. I want to wake up to this every day. I want to crawl into bed with him every night and hold him close until we both fall asleep. I want getting out of bed in the morning to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I want to endure that pain every morning for the rest of my life.
Despite how badly Kazuma wanted it, that dream wasn’t a reality. For now, he had to settle for shutting his eyes again, soaking up every last bit of Ryunosuke’s presence while he still could, unsure of the next chance he’d get to be with him like this.
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“Ryunosuke?”
Kazuma’s voice trailed through the house, softer than Ryunosuke had ever heard it. His heart nearly fell apart.
“I’m in the kitchen, Kazuma,” he called back.
A few moments later, Kazuma wandered in, rubbing his eyes. Even when he’s just woken up, he’s gorgeous.
“Are those…pancakes?” Kazuma asked, standing close to Ryunosuke.
“Yeah. I got hungry, and I didn’t want to wake you up, sorry.” Ryunosuke didn’t know when the power returned; the lights were on when he woke up.
“Since when could you make pancakes from scratch?”
“They’re, like, the one thing I’m actually good at making,” Ryunosuke laughed. “I make them every morning, it never gets old.” I could make them for you every morning, if you want. If you’ll let me.
For a moment, it was silent, save for the sizzle of the pancakes.
“Partner, have you always been afraid of thunderstorms?”
Ryunosuke turned red. Avoiding Kazuma’s gaze, he answered honestly. “...Yeah. It’s never been that bad, though.”
“Oh. I didn’t know that.”
“I’m so sorry, I should have told you before I came over, I didn’t mean to have a freakout like that, I mean, really, I probably shouldn’t have come over at all—”
“No, I’m glad you did. Come over, I mean.” Ryunosuke faltered. Kazuma continued, “You weren’t a bother at all, it was nice having you here. Storm or not, you’re always welcome, partner.”
Ryunosuke smiled at Kazuma. They fell quiet, choosing to ignore the fact that Ryunosuke couldn’t stay much longer, choosing to ignore the events of last night, choosing to ignore how much both of them wanted to repeat it over and over again, forever.