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A small figure sauntered about on a distant planet located in a quadrant in space, of which she had never bothered to categorize or even knew the name of as she was only here on a whim. The whim? She had heard a rumor of a vessel bearing a familiar crest to another she heard of many, many years ago; and she was quite curious to see if it was, in fact, a relation to that vessel in question.
And so here she was, sitting in a field of lilac flowers, weaving an intricate garland and awaiting the company of a small cluster of individuals who knew nothing of her presence, or even her existence upon this planet they had stumbled upon by chance.
She held up her creation against the light of the green moon, and hummed consideringly; she felt that it was missing something, and she did not know what it was. How troublesome.
“Captain! Someone is here!” A young man in a red hazard suit called out, seemingly panicked at the sight of her. She supposed he would be panicked—considering the atmosphere of this planet was toxic and the flowers she was playing with could cause someone to potentially pass away from a chemical compound located within their petals that induced seizures.
Another man then rushed over the hill, also in the same garb, and paused beside the first to observe her where she sat a few meters away. “The scans did not pick up her signature… how can she be sitting there without a care in a world—on a planet this dangerous?”
Her face lit up excitedly. She knew what her garland was missing; she snapped her fingers, and before her appeared a small blue frog-like creature she had taken to fondly calling ‘Mr. Squib.’
She lifted Mr. Squib and gently shook him over the garland, his small body releasing a small cloud of glittery pollen. Once satisfied with the effect, she closed her hand over the critter, and vanished him back into her pocket dimension. She was quite fond of her pocket dimension; she had many things stored there.
“... readings still cannot pick up her signature, Captain. This fact compounded with the abilities she has shown may hint to a relation to another we have encountered—”
“Mr. Spock… are you saying she could be like—”
“Trelane. And yes, Captain. I do.”
“Whatcha talkin’ about?” She asked cheerfully, peering over their shoulders, the garland now sitting atop her voluminous hair prettily. She inwardly giggled at the twin looks of confused shock on both of their faces. They had not seen her move, after all. One moment she had been lifting the garland onto her head, and the next she was behind them. Although—she cast a quick look around her and noted that the young man from before had disappeared. He’d probably been told to leave after they saw her summon Mr. Squib.
“You! Who are you?” the Captain demanded, rounding on her with a hand over his phaser. The other stepped neatly beside him and watched them solemnly.
She pouted, feeling a little put out. “Aw, did I scare you? I’m sorry. Everyone usually laughs when I sneak around like that.”
“Who… are… you?” the Captain asked, eyes narrowed.
“Aiya, fine. ” She threw her hands into the air with a bright grin. “But first—”
The air rippled; and then the toxic clouds overhead vanished, the air became clear of noxious fumes and all the flowers were promptly replaced by harmless daisies. The men spun in a circle, taking everything in with wide eyes. From the Captain’s hip, the communicator began to beep.
She watched as the Captain took it out and flipped it open, his eyes never leaving the landscape. “Kirk here.”
“Captain! Our sensors are saying the planet has gone from a Class-H to a Class-M in only a few seconds! Surely, that can’t be right?”
“One would think. Stay alert, Mr. Sulu. Kirk out.” He turned to the other man who was staring down at his device—a tricorder, if she remembered correctly. “Mr. Spock?”
“Fascinating. For all intents and purposes, this planet is now completely capable of sustaining life. If we were to remove our protective gear, then we would be able to walk about without fear of immediate collapse.”
“Well, that’s all well and good. But you and I know that the change in environment won’t mean anything if she changes her mind about being ‘civil.’”
“I am in agreement with your analysis of the situation, Captain.”
She laid her head atop the palm of her hand, quietly watching the two men interact with amusement. To see these people in the flesh was one thing—to actually witness them interacting was another thing entirely; she would have quite the story to tell when she returned ‘home.’
“Well then?” the Captain’s voice snapped her out of her musings, and she blinked up at him lazily. “Who are you? What are you?”
“Ah right. I am of the Q. You may refer to me as ‘Q’,” Q said, lolling her head to the side to squint up at him with a grin. “Not that that’ll mean much to you —we’re a private people, you see.”
“Right,” the Captain said dryly, looking her up and down; from her toxic garland to her eye-searing neon pink tunic. “‘Private.’”
Q nodded sagely. “Yup.” She snapped her fingers; and around them three blue bean bags and a small coffee table with mugs filled with steaming tea appeared, along with various containers holding creamer, milk and sugar. “Now—may I have your names? It is only polite, after all,” Q said as she sat down, crooning happily as she sank into her seat. She reached out to prepare her tea; a splash of cream with two spoonfuls of sugar.
The other two glanced at each other warily before taking a seat themselves. Neither reached for the tea, which was a bit disappointing, but altogether unsurprising.
“I am Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise , beside me is my First Officer, Mr. Spock,” the Captain said, gesturing to the other who inclined his head politely at Q. “If I may—what is your purpose for being on this planet? Surely, it isn’t just to make floral adornments?”
Q sipped her tea and sighed blissfully. Perfect. She looked at the Captain and shrugged. “No it isn’t—but it is a nice bonus. No, I was actually waiting for you lot to show up.”
The Captain and Spock both straightened up at Q’s words, faces suddenly serious.
“You were aware of our coming?” Spock asked, tension lining his body despite it not showing on his face. The Captain only glared at Q and said nothing.
“Well, obviously . Or else I wouldn’t be here waiting,” she said, setting her mug down. She noted their expressions and laughed. “Oho? Does that bother you? Please , I only came around because I wanted to see the Enterprise. All the Q have, will hear, and are hearing all about it! I wanted to scope you guys out with my very own eyes, and I can safely say that all the talk has been, will be, and is quite —justified.”
Q leaned forward, eyes sparkling—literally, she liked to make them shine in moments like these for dramatic effect—and said, “Would it be possible for me to get a tour? ”
“You want a… tour—of the Enterprise? ” The Captain said slowly, lifting his hands up to his chin. “Couldn’t you simply go in and explore to your heart’s content? We would be unable to stop you, after all.”
Q puffed out her cheeks in offense. “I know that—but I was raised with manners! I always ask before I break in, Captain.”
“ Excuse me—” the Captain started.
Meanwhile, Spock had reached out to take a mug of tea, cradling it in his hands before lifting it up to take a sip. Q watched the minute way his eyes widened before he shot the Captain a ‘look.’ “The tea, Captain…”
“The tea , Mr. Spock?”
“I suggest you sample it.” Spock said, taking another sip. The Captain watched him for a moment before reaching out to take a mug of his own. He sniffed it suspiciously before cautiously drinking a small amount. His eyes widened in shock.
“It… is warm . And it tastes like… tea.”
“Isn’t it supposed to?” Q asked huffily, crossing her arms. “Or have humans lost the ability to appreciate a good cup of tea? I wouldn’t be surprised, honestly.”
“Well— we had a similar interaction with what may have potentially been another ‘Q’ though he called himself ‘Trelane,’ and he was quite incapable of replicating heat and flavor,” the Captain stated, taking another sip of tea. “Not that it stopped him from replicating other things—like these seats of yours.”
“ Really ?” Q cocked her head to the side curiously. “Most Q learn how to do such simple things once we’ve reached our tweens. I myself learned how at the respectable age of twenty thousand years. I was quite fond of my little star projects, really. Some of them might still be around.” She tapped a finger against her bottom lip consideringly. “I should probably go check after this…”
Spock placed his empty mug down and folded his hands on his lap, and addressed her, “The Q… how long have they existed? And why have there been so few sightings of them?”
Q hummed, and sat back. “Well, we Q simply are . There never was a point when we were not ; as for why you haven’t heard or seen the other Q—like I said, we’re a private people. Usually.”
She leaned forward and smiled mischievously. “I’m a bit of a rebel. And I’m betting ‘Trelane’ was too. He gave himself a name . Q never give themselves names!”
The Captain and Spock looked at one another. And then the Captain turned back to regard Q.
“Well… Q, you seem alright for a… Q. You said you wanted a tour?” The Captain asked, clasping his hands together.
“I asked for one, yes.” Q nodded.
“Captain, if I may?” Spock said.
“Go ahead, Mr. Spock.”
“If you would be amenable, I would like to serve as your guide for your duration aboard the Enterprise. The Captain is a busy man, after all.” Spock stated, before adding, “But I must implore you to not manifest anything aboard the ship—it would…distress a great many of the crewmembers.”
Q held up two fingers and crossed them with a grin. “Cross my non-existent heart and hope to hypothetically die—I swear I won’t be any trouble at all!”
The three of them ended up beaming up, which Q said felt an awful lot like surfing in a wormhole before immediately vanishing into thin air with an echoing giggle.
She popped into a lounge area even as the Captain’s voice shouted over the intercom for all personnel to be on high alert for another entity similar to Trelane, even giving a brief description of her person. Though, the ‘tribble nest for hair’ comment was rather unnecessary, in her opinion.
Q trotted up to a couple who took one look at her and froze. She waved at them cheerfully. “Hello! What do you do for fun around here? I’ve never been on a human ship before.”
The lady in blue nervously gestured to a corner of the room, her partner moving to a nearby intercom where he furiously began tapping the bright red button. “W-well, um, we have many activities; we play chess, music, read—”
“You have books!” Q shouted, flinging her arms into the air excitedly. “Are they ink and paper?”
“A-ah, yes. We have a few physical books. B-but most of our library is in our database which can be accessed with the computers over there,” she said, pointing to another corner of the room where a small table with chairs was located; the computer in question sitting in the center of it innocently. Q made a face.
“Eugh, nah. I’ll stick to a regular book. It’s more satisfying to turn the pages, y’know?” She said, walking over to the bookshelf where she pulled out a copy of Grimm’s Fairy Tales and sat down to read.
The Captain, Spock, and a great many other people burst into the lounge only a few minutes later—pausing at the sight of Q laying on the ground with an entire fortress of books built around her, and the lady from before sobbing hysterically from a tower while her hair drooped sadly out of a paperback window frame. Her partner was nowhere in sight.
Q beamed at the sight of them. “Oh, hey. Glad you could make it. I was going to reenact the story of Repunzel but the prince ran off before we could even start. Either of you wanna step in?”
“What happened to ‘not causing any trouble’?” The Captain asked tightly, marching up to the tower. “Ms. Flores, are you alright?”
Ms. Flores hiccuped. “Oh—oh no, I’m quite fine. I just didn’t expect to have my heart broken.”
“Your what—”
“You deserve way better,” Q said solemnly. “Clearly that man has no taste.”
“You’re so sweet. T-thank you.”
“What,” the Captain said, staring off into space. “ What?”
Spock carefully approached the Captain. “It seems that despite our logical assumption that the Q would cause trouble, it seems that a number of illogical events have occurred that resulted in this assumption being false while also proving to be true.”
“Mr. Spock, please .”
“Apologies Captain. What I am attempting to say is that despite what we previously believed about the Q beforehand, it appears that this Q in particular is quite harmless.”
Q and Ms. Flores walked over hand in hand to stand before Spock and the Captain. “Just so you know, we’ve decided to become pen pals.” Q said happily.
And so, despite this initial and unexpected encounter on an otherwise uninhabitable-soon-to-be-and-has-become-habitable-planet, the USS Enterprise and her Captain came out unscathed, and with a rather bewildering report that Starfleet had to confirm three times just to be sure that its contents had not been tampered with at all, or that the Captain had been replaced; or that the Captain was under some form of hallucinogenic drug, and upon confirming for the fourth time of its legitimacy—granted the Enterprise an entire month’s worth of shore leave.
And if on a few occasions one Ms. Lily Flores would seemingly materialise on the bridge with a lopsided garland of non-toxic flowers sitting atop her head, well, no one said a word.
… until the garland(s) in question began to sing off-key love songs, that is.