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Chapter Text

Kaeya just barely ducked under the massive claw of the Rifthound before it slashed through the air. Luckily for him, the monster was already weakened—its attack was more of a feeble attempt to injure him. Still, its claws grazed his arm, tearing through the fabric.

He would have to deal with that later. Kaeya skidded across the ground, back on his feet faster than the Rifthound, which had stumbled from its failed strike. He conjured sharp spears of ice in the air and sent them hurtling toward his opponent.

The monster managed to dodge the first two, three spears, but then the first one embedded itself in its throat. It let out an enraged screech, teleporting away, trying to escape the rain of spears.

But Kaeya had full control over his weapons.

The moment the Rifthound reappeared, the spears immediately changed direction. The creature was too slow to save itself, and the ice pierced its body. It let out another agonizing cry, gurgling and choking until the gruesome sound was silenced, and it collapsed to the ground.

Kaeya watched as the monster went limp, and after a few moments, it dissolved into countless sparks. For a moment, they lingered in the air, slowly gliding downward before returning to the Ley Lines.

He let his gaze sweep over the surroundings - disturbed earth, scorched grass - but he was alone. No more enemies in sight.

A sigh escaped him. The sword in his hand disappeared in a small shower of sparks. Finally, he allowed himself to drop his confident stance, and faster than he had expected, his shoulders slumped. His legs felt weak, like jelly - or like overcooked noodles - and he let them carry him toward a large rock, where he immediately collapsed.

Everything hurt. His legs, as he sat down. His arms, as he braced himself. His back, as he leaned against the rock. He let his head fall back slowly, not caring that the surface was uncomfortable. His head was throbbing anyway.

No, everything was throbbing. The Rifthounds hadn’t been at full strength anymore, but neither had he. It had taken all his focus to avoid being hit. More injuries were simply not an option.

Especially not from Rifthounds. And especially not for him.

Kaeya closed his eyes. Breathed. Listened. In the distance, explosions could be heard. Closer than he would have liked, but far enough away for him to close his eyes for a few seconds.

Closing his eyes and resting was a luxury he knew he didn’t deserve. And, of course, his conscience gnawed at him. Of course, he knew he should get up, but he was also selfish. Selfish enough to allow himself a short break.

The fact that everything had been fine just a few days ago was almost incomprehensible. A week ago, they had been going about their daily lives, with barely any worries in mind.

Okay, sure, that was an exaggeration. Everyone had felt that there was something in the air, something no one had been able to put a finger on. Unease had spread in the whole city, without anyone knowing why. Those who knew about Venti‘s identity had noticed how his demeanor had changed, how he had visited Angel’s Share less and less, until one day, he had just barged straight into Jean’s office.

Kaeya, who had been there at the time, still had his serious expression in mind. More serious than ever before. And Venti hadn’t rhymed, hadn’t even greeted them. He had only said one sentence:

“We need to prepare for war.”

The day after, the Abyss Order had attacked the city, soon followed by the Abyss itself. News had spread quickly and Liyue and the Traveler had arrived to help. With their help, they had at least managed to stop the enemies from destroying Mondstadt City. Springvale, though, had been doomed from the start and was nothing more than ruins by now.

Then, more nations had joined the fight. First Snezhnaya and the Fatui, which had been a surprise for everyone, then Sumeru and Fontaine. Thanks to them, the Abyss and the Abyss Order had been driven away from the city.

In the process, Dawn Winery had been destroyed. It had hurt to see his childhood home fall, and it did still hurt just to think about it.

But what hurt the most was to watch Diluc. He had tried to stay strong, had tried to keep up a brave face, though in the end, even he hadn’t been able to hide his remorse at the view. And he couldn’t even go there, look for something, anything, that had maybe survived, not even now, because it was too dangerous.

In the midst of it all, Celestia’s armies had suddenly descended. Kaeya wasn’t sure if, like, anyone at all knew why. But it didn’t really matter. The only thing that mattered was who to fight and who to keep save.

After that, Inazuma had come and then, as the last party, Natlan. And now everyone was fighting in the biggest war in Teyvat’s history. Humans, immortals, Archons, monsters and even Dragon Sovereigns took part. It was pure chaos.

And to top it all, Kaeya had the worst headache ever. Oh, and he also heard voices when he came too close to the Abyss. Which he tried his best to ignore. When he didn’t pay attention to it, it wasn’t there. And something that wasn’t there couldn’t hurt anyone and didn’t mean anything.

The darkness behind his closed eyes was comforting, but he couldn’t let himself get lost in it for long. The throbbing in his head was still there, as was the ache in every muscle. And the sounds in the distance…

They made every hair on his body stand on end.

Kaeya sighed quietly. He had to go back. If he stayed away too long, they would get suspicious, and that was the last thing he needed.

With every bone in his body silently protesting, he pushed himself back onto his feet. Only when he pulled himself up against the rock did he finally notice the rips in his clothing, left behind by the Rifthounds. He had completely forgotten about them.

But it didn’t matter. As long as he wasn’t hurt, nothing else did.

A particularly loud explosion made him flinch. He spun around, stumbling back a few steps, his gaze snapping to the sky. Thousands of colorful sparks had erupted above, and in the middle of it all, something that looked like comets, twisting around each other, colliding again and again—until suddenly, one of them seemed to be falling.

Kaeya swallowed. He backed away further and further, nearly tripping over some torn roots.

Then, the impact.

It was loud and heavy, a deep bang, and the shockwave was strong enough to make him stumble even from this distance. Kaeya tripped, and at the same time, a sharp pain shot through his forehead. It was like lightning, jolting through his body, and he gasped.

A blurred image flashed before his mind’s eye. The outline of something at the end of a dark room. It lasted only a millisecond, barely more than a flicker, and the pain nearly drowned it out. But still, the feeling that followed…

Everything faded as he hit the ground again - this time hard, and not on purpose.

"Shit," he gasped, slowly pushing himself back up. His back ached, and his tailbone even more so, but at least he had landed on grass.

He pressed a hand to his forehead, searching for the spot where the lightning had struck. But there was nothing—no blood, no wound of any kind. Just the steady throbbing, the pain beneath his skin that seemed to come from nowhere.

Kaeya took a deep breath, trying to steady his racing heart. He needed to get himself under control. After all, he had a reputation as the ever-composed Captain Kaeya to uphold.

Carefully, making sure not to move too abruptly, he pushed himself up and dusted off his clothes. A final glance at the sky showed him that the comets had vanished. With that, he squared his shoulders.

Time to head back to camp.

The path wasn’t particularly difficult - after all, they were on familiar ground. But seeing the destruction left behind by the battle was hard to stomach. So, Kaeya picked up the pace, despite his legs protesting, eager to distract himself with new tasks.

Less than ten minutes later, he reached his destination. Even from a distance, he could make out the tents, their green fabric blending seamlessly with the trees. Had he not known they were there, he wouldn’t have recognized them as such.

The closer he got to camp, the more soldiers he passed, patrolling the perimeter. He could feel their wary gazes but kept his head high and his expression calm as he nodded at them.

Some nodded back, some just watched him or didn’t even spare him a second of their attention.

He didn’t hold it against them. They were here to ensure the safety of their base. Their nerves were constantly on edge, just like everyone else‘s, and they could not fail in their duty.

Finally, he reached the first tent. People were bustling around, many familiar faces, but also a few strangers among them. They were all in the same boat, so here, everyone helped each other, regardless of which nation they came from.

Heads turned when he arrived, footsteps slowed, and uneasy eyes scanned him. He raised his hands and smiled politely, making eye contact with as many as possible before they returned to their tasks.

Except for one young looking girl with incredibly long, dark hair. When she realized that no one of the others were going to greet him, she approached him with a soft, yet worried smile.

"Excuse me, sir, you look injured," she observed. Her voice was crystal clear and bright, but not annoyingly squeaky. She wore a kind of dress, so light green that it almost looked white, while her arms were covered by a dark turquoise jacket, and she wore pants that didn’t match at all.

Kaeya suspected that she was wearing the pants purely because of the war and had perhaps even borrowed them. She didn’t seem like someone who wore pants on a daily basis.

"Oh, I’m fine," he replied, having to clear his throat first because his voice sounded even raspier than usual. "You shouldn’t worry about me. There are people who need to be taken care of more than I do."

The girl didn’t seem convinced. "But sir, your arm—"

She was interrupted when a certain brunette joined them. "It’s okay, Lan Yan. I’ll take care of him from here. You’re needed elsewhere," Amber told her, placing a hand on the girl’s shoulder, whose name had to be Lan Yan.

The girl met the Outrider’s gaze before looking back at Kaeya. Her eyes held a thoughtful gleam, but then she agreed. "Alright, I’ll leave you to it, then." She nodded at Kaeya, who returned the gesture with a smile. Then she turned and walked away.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Amber shot him a disapproving look. He could already hear the words that came from her lips a moment later, just by looking at her face.

"You sure took your sweet time," she said, and somehow, it calmed him how normal she was. She sounded like she always did when she suspected him of doing something bad and her eyes were just as attentive and searching.

Of course, he knew she wasn’t saying it out of concern for him, but somehow, it gave him a sense of normality.

Was that fucked up? Was it fucked up to be glad about her being distrustful of him?

Probably. But it also helped to keep up his confident mask in front of everyone.

Kaeya let out a small chuckle, though it did nothing to ease the Outrider’s suspicion - not that he had expected otherwise.

"Did you really miss me that much?," he asked, but before she could throw a sappy comment at him, he added, "Jokes aside, the Rifthounds didn’t plan to go down without a fight, so it took me a bit."

He shrugged. Even though he had started the sentence with ‘Jokes aside’, he had joked yet again, and Amber didn’t seem to like it that much.

For a moment, she looked as if she was debating whether she should comment on that or not, but then chose not to. Instead, she said, "Well yeah, I know that. But you weren’t as quick as I thought."

Which was understandable, since he usually took care of his enemies quite swiftly. But with the weakened state he was in… That everyone was in…

"It just so happens that I’m not in my best form thanks to-," he made an amused sound to play down his own words, "-a certain war that is currently going on."

Amber snorted. "I’ve had it with you, you know. Your jokes are so out of-" She stopped mid-sentence. Her eyes widened. Kaeya raised an eyebrow, because why did she suddenly stop scolding him? That rarely ever happened. But then she reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling it toward her.

"Your arm-"

A sharp pain shot through his limbs instantly. His mind screamed at him to stay calm, to not react, but for just a fraction of a second, his vision blurred - even if just a little. Even if just because of the suddenness of it all.

Kaeya bit his lip, barely able to suppress the sound that had formed in his throat.

As quickly as Amber had grabbed his arm, he pulled it away from her. Again, the pain shot through him, followed by a burning, tingling sensation, and this time, a low growl escaped him. He shook his arm and put his arrogant smirk back on, but the look Amber gave him now was full of concern.

"I like that look, but you shouldn’t worry. I’m fine," he assured her, but she shook her head, crossing her arms.

"You should get it checked," she declared, "Especially because those were Rifthounds you fought." Her gaze softened a little. "I don’t want any more casualties if we can avoid it."

Kaeya was slightly taken aback by her sudden honesty and…seeming to care about him of all people. Him, someone she had never liked.

He hoped his surprise wasn’t all too obvious.

“As I said, I’m fine. It’s just the fabric they ripped. And a bruise or two, but there are more important things to worry about.”

Amber opened her mouth, and he could only guess that she’d be trying to convince him to let it be taken care of, but being weak had never been something he was good at handling. Nor did he like being perceived as such. Whether he truly was or not.

“Now tell me, how are the two we saved?,” he asked in favor to change the topic, trying to sound casual while slowly walking past Amber because he just couldn’t stand around there anymore.

The Outrider obviously knew what he was doing. She was way too smart not to notice. But everyone was exhausted and so she sighed and went along with him, figuratively and literally, and settled into a slow walk next to him.

“The woman’s name is Dehya. She’s from Sumeru and got lost during battle, just like the boy. That’s how she found him. They kind of worked together from there until they ran into those Rifthounds and you know the rest.”

She paused for a moment. Kaeya noticed her gazing in a different direction now and followed her eyes. There, he found a dark-haired woman sitting on a bench near the edge of the medical tents, where makeshift beds were arranged in uneven rows.

It took a short moment for him to recognize who she was talking to. But then he realized it was Collei, who Tighnari and Cyno had left here so she could help without being in immediate danger.

At first, the girl had hated that and had pleaded with the two men to take her with them. But they had managed to persuade her with the help of Jean, Amber and Lisa, who were the reason the men had wanted to leave her here to begin with.

Kaeya could very well imagine how she had to feel. Two of the most important people in her life had left her behind to fight and she didn’t, couldn’t know how they were doing. If they were even still alive at all.

So it was surely a good thing that the dark-haired woman was from Sumeru as well. Of course she knew some of the people around her, but that was different. And Collei seemed to be very well aquatinted with her as well.

His gaze shifted to the makeshift bed next to the woman - Dehya - on which someone was lying. It was the boy who had been with her.

"Thanks to Collei, we know who exactly Dehya is," Amber explained quietly, "But the boy... Or guy..." She sighed. "We don’t know anything at all. Even his age is hard to guess. Dehya just told us his name is Freminet and he has a Fontainian Vision. But..."

He felt her eyes bore into his skin.

"...you know it doesn’t have to mean anything."

No. No, it didn’t.

He swallowed. Amber shouldn’t see that the thought weighed heavily on his stomach. It was a miracle she had trusted him enough to leave him alone with the monsters.

Well, she hadn’t really had much of a choice. When they had stumbled upon Dehya and Freminet, the boy had barely been conscious, and Dehya had struggled to keep the Rifthounds at bay. Kaeya suspected her combat style usually involved more movement, but that hadn’t been possible.

They had needed to act fast. And even though Amber could very well hold her own in a fight and was stronger than she looked, Kaeya was nevertheless the better fighter. He was trained to be on the field, she wasn’t. Her specialty were scouting mission.

Which was the main reason Jean had paired the two of them up. Amber was quick on her feet and probably had the best sense of orientation in all of Mondstadt. The only one that could beat her on that was Mika.

And Kaeya was to protect her, staying behind her when she went on to check on the areas further away, sending messages to other teams. The other reason being… Well…

"You shouldn’t be the one to concern herself with that," Kaeya asserted, trying to lighten up the tense atmosphere without changing the subject this time, "And I very much doubt he’ll cause us any kind of trouble." The stare only intensified. "As soon as he wakes up, he will surely tell us. Thanks to our wonderful medical staff, that won’t take too long."

Amber cleared her throat. She had crossed her arms again - or still? He wasn’t sure -, and when he met her gaze, seemingly questioning, she said, "Apropos wonderful medical staff. It doesn’t matter if your arm is okay or not, you should—"

But Kaeya didn’t feel like letting her finish. His headache was bothering him again, thumping against his forehead, and his nerves were stretched to the breaking point.

No one here was getting a good night’s sleep, but he even less so.

“I already told you what I think of that idea and I don‘t like to repeat myself, bunny,“ he replied, voice playful and tone provoking. Amber‘s gaze turned furious at the nickname, which he had not only anticipated but actually wanted.

The angrier someone was, the less rational they could think. And he didn’t need her noticing if he was slipping.

Amber made a frustrated noise and he could nearly see the fire in her eyes awaken. “Ugh! You‘re so infuriating!“ He gasped in played shock. “That‘s not a nice word.“ "Every other word I have for you is worse," she hissed back, and this time, her words actually gave him a painful sting.

He knew she didn’t trust him, he knew she didn‘t like him, never had and never would, and that short concern for him had probably been faked anyway.

So why did it still hurt? Why did he still care, even though he already knew…?

As his heart painfully tightened, he let out an amused laugh. "Whatever you say." He winked at her and turned away. "I’m going to get something to drink now. See you around!," he said, raising his hand in goodbye. He couldn't see her anymore, but he was sure she was still glaring at him angrily for a moment.

He didn’t pay attention to that, though. Or at least, he tried not to. Instead, he focused on his confident smile and the faces around him, trying to spot anyone new.

But Lan Yan seemed to be the only one who had joined the camp during their absence. Amber and he hadn’t been gone that long.

They had left at dusk the previous day to better hide from monsters in case of an emergency. At their destination - a camp near the Mondstadt-Liyue border, mainly run by Liyue and Snezhnaya due to the proximity to Dragonspine - they had coordinated with the local strategists and a young man from Natlan. They spent the rest of the night there and started their journey back at dawn.

Kaeya took the path toward the tent where their supplies were kept. Since leaving the other camp, he hadn’t had anything to drink, and by now, his throat felt completely dry.

Even before entering the tent, he could hear someone talking, and when he pushed the curtain aside, he was greeted by two pairs of eyes.

"Ah, Sir Kaeya, right?," asked a young man, casually leaning against a crate, "I heard that you and the Outrider are back." Kaeya nodded in agreement. "Right. I was held up a bit by a few monsters," he replied, as if it wasn’t a big deal.

The young man - Shikanoin Heizou, Kaeya remembered - gave him an understanding smile. "Yeah, the young lady mentioned that," he said, "I was there when she relayed the news."

Ah yes, he was now part of the camp’s strategists. Although no one else in the camp knew him, he had quickly shown that he had an admirable talent for planning and was very clever. It seemed he hadn’t lied when he had introduced himself as the best detective in all of Inazuma.

The serious expression quickly disappeared from Heizou’s face and was replaced with a friendly grin. "I guess you want something to drink?" Kaeya agreed. Heizou gently nudged the girl next to him, who looked as if she had fallen asleep while standing.

"Hey, Layla, you still with us?"

The mentioned girl blinked sleepily and slowly lifted her head. Kaeya felt like her dark circles had gotten even worse since the last time he’d seen her. And it hadn’t been that long ago.

She mumbled something unintelligible. Heizou chuckled. "Can you get Sir Kaeya something to drink?," he asked, and she nodded, taking a step forward and grabbing one of the water bottles from the shelf nearby. Kaeya took it gratefully. He immediately felt the coldness radiating from the bottle.

Since they were not in the city, they had limited options for preserving their supplies. And they had to be preserved, since no one knew how long the war would last.

So, those with Cryo Visions took turns cooling the supplies, and at the moment, it was Layla's turn.

He thanked the two of them once more and left the tent. Only a few seconds after he had turned his back to them, Heizou had already started talking off Layla's ear again.

Kaeya felt genuine amusement at the thought. It was truly admirable how all seven nations had united in this fight and were supporting one another. They were no longer divided, no, they were one, and they fought together against their enemies.

And their enemies seemed to be all the other factions. Even Celestia, though it was supposed to be the heavenly guardian of humankind.

But Celestia fought just as much against the other groups. Only the Abyss and the Abyss Order were in cahoots with each other. At least, it seemed that way if you could believe what you saw.

A quiet sigh escaped him. He opened the bottle and drank, letting the pleasantly cool liquid slide down his throat. Then he set it down again.

His gaze drifted through the camp. His fellow soldiers hurried around, from one tent to another, from shelter to shelter. They were busy and focused, and not one of them spared him a single glance. Not even when he slowly walked in a random direction, passing them.

Not one word to him.

And suddenly, he felt incredibly self-conscious. He recognized that nobody cared about him and who he was, even Lan Yan, who had seemed so worried when she had laid eyes on him and who was crossing his path without looking at him.

His legs stopped all by themselves, while his eyes still wandered. They followed the people around him and his ears managed to catch a few pieces of conversation every now and then.

Not too long ago, he had heard them whisper as soon as they had seen him. They had talked about rumors surrounding him, had wondered what he might be doing. And during the night in the tavern, he had been invited to drink with them.

But now?

Now he was just…a random man, standing around in the middle of the camp. Just someone. One of many.

He should feel joy, being a part of such a wonderful civilization. He should be proud to be with them, to fight with them.

But he wasn’t.

No. He only felt lonely and lost.

It was a feeling he was already all too familiar with. It had haunted him whenever he had been actually, truly alone, when there was no one to talk to. But right now, he was surrounded by so many people and still, he felt that way.

Amber‘s words echoed in his mind.

`Every other word I have for you is worse.‘

For years on end, he had learned to deal with the fact that he was a liar. And he had always known that, if they would one day find out about his secrets, they would hate him.

To be a liar was fine. It wasn’t great and he had hated himself for it. But it was fine. He had held on to the view people had had of him.

Now, though, it was different. Everything was different.

Kaeya tore himself away and turned around. He had to leave, he just had to get away. A lump had formed in his throat, and his mask began to crumble. He couldn’t let it break in the open like this, he just couldn’t. He couldn’t let them see how weak he was.

His feet carried him forward, away from the center of the camp. He gritted his teeth, trying to hold on just a little longer. His eyes darted back and forth, searching for a way out of the camp, which was increasingly beginning to feel like a prison.

He stopped dead in his tracks. There, in that one tent, whose curtains were wide open, they stood. The ones he had tried the most to avoid this past week.

Jean and Diluc.

They were standing at a table, along with the other strategists of the camp - minus Heizou and Lisa - and were probably planning their next steps. Completely absorbed in their work, they didn’t notice him.

It was actually a pretty normal sight to see them there. Since they had set up this camp, those two could mostly be found there.

And yet…

Kaeya swallowed. Dizziness and nausea spread through him as a memory of the previous week entered his mind.

To be exact, a memory from just before the war had begun. When the Abyss Order had revealed his true identity.

It had shaken him to his core. He never would’ve thought they would find out in this way. Surrounded by his fellow citizens, after he had promised to protect them.

He had seen the shock and betrayal in their faces. The anger, the disappointment.

The fear.

They had been afraid of him.

He hadn’t known what to do. He had stood there silently, looking from one face to the next, silently begging them to stop looking at him that way. It had been unbearable.

Diluc… He hadn’t said anything. Kaeya couldn’t remember if he had even reacted at all. He hadn’t really dared to look at him.

But the worst reaction had been Jean’s. She had turned pale. He had seen the moment she made a decision. A decision Kaeya didn’t know if he would’ve survived. A decision no one could have changed.

No one except Venti.

Venti had suddenly appeared and stood in front of him. Jean had been surprised and told him to step aside. But he hadn’t. He had stayed where he was and spoken to her. He had spoken to all of Mondstadt.

And then, because no one had wanted to listen to him, he had shown them his Archon form, thus revealing his own identity.

Kaeya still didn’t understand why Venti had sacrificed his secret for him. That didn’t mean he wasn’t grateful to the God. But perhaps it would have been better if Jean had just killed him. If she had finally done what Diluc hadn’t been able to.

Instead of killing him, she had stripped him of the title of Cavalry Captain and given it to Diluc for the duration of the war. Diluc had accepted it without question.

Then she had instructed Amber to keep an eye on him. Amber had gladly accepted the task, as she had always known something was off about him.

His breath hitched, his grip around the bottle tightened. The lump in his throat grew bigger and bigger, and his headache worsened. His eyes began to burn, and the longer he watched the two most important people in his life, the angrier the thoughts in his head became.

Every time. Every time he saw them, every time he even heard their names, he had to think about it. Jean’s face. The anger, the disappointment, the betrayal. How she had realized that she couldn’t trust him anymore.

Normally, he could calm down. Normally, he could handle it. But today, it was just too much. Everything was too much.

Once again, he tore himself away and walked faster this time. His stomach clenched, and his forehead throbbed. It felt as if someone was hammering against it from the inside.

He squeezed between two tents and just walked in any direction. It didn’t matter to him where he went, he just had to get away from Jean and Diluc. From the camp. From those people he was invisible to.

His whole body began to tingle. Hundreds of eyes seemed to be on him, eyes that judged him, threatened him, urged him to leave them.

And as the tingling grew into panic, as this panic completely took over, he started running. He fled. Ran deeper into the forest. A pair of watchful eyes observed him, but he didn’t notice.

His steps grew faster and faster as he left the camp further behind. Bushes and trees, even more bushes and trees, ones he was sure he had passed more times than he could count on both hands.

But in that moment, he had no idea where he was running. He was trapped in a whirlpool of panic that pushed him further and further, tearing him apart from the inside. It devoured his heart and made him block out everything else, and all he could hear were the voices, all he could see were the faces.

The voices and faces of those he had lied to for so long.

Eventually, he came to a stop. His breath was shallow and heavy, his legs no longer able to carry him. He leaned against a tree, gasping, closing his eyes for a moment.

But what he saw before him wasn’t endless darkness. There was the image again, the outlines of something, and it tugged at him, pulled on every fiber of his being. It forced him to stretch out his hand, and as he did, a searing pain seized him.

Kaeya threw his head back with a scream and opened his eyes. He lost his footing and for a moment, he didn’t know which way was up or down.

Painfully, he stumbled a few steps. His legs wobbled under his weight, his whole body protesting against the sudden movement. But Kaeya couldn’t help it. The pain was so overwhelming that he couldn’t perceive anything else.

And then it was gone. His head was suddenly completely empty. There was no pressure, no pain, no throbbing. No thoughts.

Kaeya gasped for air. His legs gave way and he collapsed to the ground. It hurt as his knees hit the hard ground, but he didn’t care. He collapsed inward, his body losing all tension, and he just stared ahead.

All the energy, all the false confidence he had built over the years, was just...gone. In a matter of seconds, everything had left his body. As if he were about to die.

Wouldn’t that be a funny way to go? The former Cavalry Captain, dead because he couldn’t handle a war and its consequences.

Maybe he really should just end it right here and now. He wouldn’t be a pain in the ass to anyone and they wouldn’t have to be scared of him betraying them anymore. Heck, he himself was scared of that possibility.

Why was he even still alive in the first place? Why was he willing to suffer this hell that was his existence? His life had been destroyed and even if they would win, even if he wouldn’t betray them, he knew things would never go back to how they were. The people of Mondstadt would still hate him and there would be nothing he would be able to do that could change their minds.

He didn’t have a future in this world.

Suddenly, there was a rustling. It jerked him out of his thoughts and made him jump. Hastily, he scrambled to his feet, panic bolting through his veins again. He spun around, looking for something, but saw nothing.

Had he imagined it? It was possible, after all. He felt like he wasn’t in control of his senses anymore. Maybe even loosing his mind.

Kaeya breathed in and out shakily before looking around. Where had he even run off to? But every tree seemed to look the same, and he didn’t even know where he had come from. He should know this place, so why didn’t he know where he was?

Slowly, he turned on his heel, trying to find some detail he could use to judge where he was.

But the longer he thought about it, the less he knew. With each step, the trees seemed to get closer, and the pain in his head flared up again, making it impossible for him to focus.

It was ridiculous how low he had sunk.

Before he could be overtaken by his emotions again, the pain shot through his head once more. Like a lightning strike, it pierced him. Kaeya had trouble staying on his feet.

And there it was again, the image in his mind. The dark room, the outlines, but this time, there were voices calling to him, screaming at him.

Kaeya gasped, trying to fight it off. Whatever this was, he didn’t want to lose his mind! Especially not if the Abyss was behind the pain. He’d rather die than fall victim to the Abyss!

Again, he stumbled forward. The darkness tore at him, pulling him closer to the outlines. He held his hand back, not wanting to reach for it, but he had little control over it.

As if guided by some ghostly power, it lifted, and he watched as it stretched toward the outlines. The shapes became clearer and clearer, but Kaeya didn’t want to see what it was! He didn’t want to! This image should damn well leave his head!!

Then, amidst the whispers and screams filling his ears, a soft voice suddenly sounded.

“You have to stop fighting.”

Kaeya shook his head. His other hand dug into his hair, trying to compensate for the pain.

“I...don’t...”

He gasped. That was all he could manage.

“Listen to my voice. I will guide you through it,” the voice murmured, “You only need to trust me.”

He didn’t want to trust that voice. He really didn’t. But it was the only calming thing, soothing the pain in his head, and for whatever reason, he couldn’t deny its help.

“Try to relax for me. Stop fighting against that pull and let your hand be moved.”

Kaeya gritted his teeth. It took all his strength and effort to follow those words. He was scared—scared of losing himself and falling into an abyss he couldn’t return from.

But the voice was there, softening his mental grip. It was like a tender hug, sweet and supportive, and somehow also a promise to never leave him.

“I know you can do it. Let your body and mind relax and give in. Allow yourself to follow the call.”

He felt his resistance fading.

„And now, let yourself fall. I am here. I will catch you.“

Somehow, he believed the voice.

And so he did what it told him to do. The control over his body and mind slipped through his fingers and he felt himself fall. Fall, and fall, and fall.

He saw trees rushing past him, saw landscapes fly by, and he recognized them all. Then, a cliff, water, the ocean. The whispers grew louder all the while his speed increased. In mere seconds, he was on the island where the Spiral Abyss was located and dove right in.

He went down, down, down, he couldn’t see anything clearly anymore. And then, suddenly, it stopped. In front of him these outlines he had seen before.

But this time, he didn’t fight against seeing them.

The outlines became clearer and clearer until he finally recognized what it was: a throne.

All the voices, which had previously been too indistinct to understand, surged at him and drowned him in their volume. He tried to gasp for air as his mind threatened to overflow with the voices.

They were so different, some full of anger, others full of despair, and yet others full of fear.

But what they all had in common was the urgency with which they screamed at him.

“WE NEED YOU!!“ “WHERE ARE YOU!!“ “HELP US!!“ “Don‘t you dare try anything funny!“ “Papa… I can‘t take it…“ “DO IT, NOW!!“ “We‘re counting on you.“ “We looked to YOU to take us there!“ “KAEYA!!“ “It‘s going to swallow us whole!“ “This…pain…“

The force of all these voices was suffocating. He was drowning in them as they blocked every other sense. They were everywhere; he heard them, smelled them, saw them, tasted them, felt them. They clung to him and pulled him down, relentlessly and mercilessly.

“The one who controls the Abyss can control everything.“

Out of nowhere, he was grabbed and pulled back. Images raced past him so fast that it made him dizzy. He was pulled out of the Spiral Abyss, back over the sea, through the forest.

Then, he snapped his eyes open.

Suddenly, it was silent. The voices in his head had completely vanished, leaving nothing but emptiness behind.

Well, not just emptiness. There was also a strange, uncomfortable feeling that he couldn’t quite grasp. It had settled deep within his brain and now loomed in the shadows, as if waiting for something.

Kaeya blinked. Slowly, he began returning to reality. His senses started to perceive the surroundings again. Above him, the canopy of leaves, the gentle wind around him, and somewhere, birds were chirping. It seemed so calm and peaceful, almost idyllic.

“You did great.”

Startled, he jumped. His body reacted before his mind had even processed the words, shooting up and scrambling a little away.

He stared at the person who suddenly sat next to him, smiling kindly.

“Layla…?,” he asked in bewilderment, “What are you doing here?”

“I was worried, so I followed you when you left the camp.”

The way she said it sounded so nonchalant, as if it was an everyday thing. And the smile she gave him… It seemed so strange and not at all like her.

“Huh. That’s…uh…” He struggled to find any words. His head was completely blank from what he had just experienced. He barely knew what to do with himself, hadn't processed it all yet, and now he was basically waking up and having to justify himself in front of this girl.

Wait a minute.

“Wait, never mind that,” he said while looking at her suspiciously. “It was your voice that helped me with…”

“…the vision, yes.”

He barely managed to stop his eyes from widening. A vision? Now that she mentioned it… Sure, that made sense. He couldn’t think of many other explanations at the moment.

But how did she know that? A bystander couldn’t see what the person experiencing the vision saw. Could they? That would be absurd.

“V-vision? I hardly would call it that. It was more like—”

She interrupted him, and with such confidence that his words caught in his throat.

“I am an astrologist, Sir Kaeya. I know when someone is having a vision.”

Stupid feelings, stupid self-hatred, stupid him. He should be the confident one, damn it!

“But-”

“And you also dropped that bottle without even realizing it,” Layla continued, pointing in the general direction where a broken bottle lay. The look she gave him when he looked back at the bottle - well, what was left of it - made him hate himself even more.

He turned his head back down to the ground, where he had ended up. And here he was, thinking he had already hit rock bottom.

To his surprise, Layla didn’t comment on it any further. Or rather, not in the way he expected. Instead of telling him that he shouldn’t behave like that, she asked, “All of this is a bit much, isn’t it?”

“Yeah… I guess…,” he murmured before he could stop himself. The words just slipped out.

“Don’t worry, I get it,” she replied, and he could clearly hear the warm, understanding smile in her voice, “Just take your time.”

Slowly, he lifted his head and looked at her again. His intuition had been right, the smile she gave him was nothing but gentle, and it hit him so hard, as if it was an insult.

How long had it been since someone had addressed him like that? So kindly and honestly, without resentment or suspicion. So heartfelt and sincere, with a quiet promise to just be there. For him. With him.

And instantly, he felt a deep aversion to this approach towards him because he knew he didn’t deserve it. Not him. Never.

At the same time, everything inside him screamed for more of this kindness. He longed so much for closeness and recognition, wanted it so badly, wanted to be worthy of it, but he wasn’t, and he never would be.

Grief welled up inside him. He swallowed it down.

His eye wandered over her face until he suddenly noticed something. He remembered seeing her earlier, dozing off while standing in the supply tent.

But now, she was genuinely beaming at him, looking completely awake.

Something was off.

He cleared his throat, so she wouldn’t think he was struggling with his emotions, and said, “Excuse me if I’m wrong, but you seem…different, somehow.”

Layla raised an eyebrow. She looked like she’d just heard something interesting rather than being questioned.

“Ah, you already picked up on that, I see,“ she remarked, “Which was to be expected. You’re quite the perceptive one after all.“ Her expression took on a mischievous look. “Well, normally that is. You didn’t seem as perceptive when I accidentally made it rustle.”

“You spied on me…?,” Kaeya gasped, not sure what to think of that. But only because she had just completely caught him off guard with that and was too busy remembering what she had to be thinking of him now.

She made a dismissive hand gesture. "I wouldn't call it spying per se..." She seemed to think for a moment. "Hm, well, maybe." She shrugged. "But no need to worry, I won't tell anyone," she claimed, winking at him.

Kaeya bit his lip. The whole situation just made him feel uncomfortable.

“…There’s nothing to tell.”

“Hehe, sure.”

It really couldn’t be more obvious that she didn’t believe him and the way she had just said that… No, she wouldn’t change her mind. And he didn’t have enough energy to try.

So it was probably best to change topic. He cleared his throat and asked, “But… Why don’t you tell me why you seem so different?” The girl chuckled, making him slowly but surely wonder if she really was as young as she had introduced herself as. Because why was she so calm and able to mock him like this?

But on the other hand, Collei had verified that she’d said the truth.

“Okay, yeah. You kinda deserve an explanation I guess,” Layla said, “So you see…” And with that, she explained that the Layla he was talking to right now was a gift from the stars and basically who she could be if she would believe in herself more. He would be lying if he’d say that he immediately believed her, but, you know, it explained why she acted so differently.

“…so in a nutshell, Layla is sleepwalking right now. And I need you to not tell anyone and especially not Layla herself,” the girl ended, sounding rather dismissive, as if she was reciting a memorized script.

Kaeya blinked. He needed a moment to process the new information, but at least there was no reason to doubt her.

And it wasn’t like this was the weirdest thing he’d ever heard. He had just had a vision in which he had traveled incredibly fast through Mondstadt and to the Spiral Abyss. No, into the Spiral Abyss. And he wasn’t even questioning that! Not the part that it was a vision, nor why he had even gotten it.

Well, trying to figure out the latter would probably make his head explode. And it wasn’t like he had any knowledge on that topic he could use anyway.

“Okay, didn’t expect that,” he murmured, then louder, “But I promise I won’t. I’m good at keeping secrets.” Layla looked at him, her face turning a little more serious all of a sudden.

Kaeya cocked his head. Had he said something wrong?

But she didn’t give him time to ask as she said, “Alright then. You should sort out your thoughts so we can get back before anyone misses us.” She nodded to him and stood up, holding out a hand to him. “Wanna stand up or keep sitting on the ground?”

Wordlessly, Kaeya grabbed her hand and pushed himself up while she pulled. He stumbled a bit, legs still shaky, and for a moment, his head was spinning and he already expected to be laying on the ground again in a few seconds.

Though he didn’t factor in Layla, who was right by his side, stabilizing him, and he carefully placed a hand on her shoulder for more safety. Under normal circumstances, he’d try everything to get her off his back so he could just suffer alone in peace. But, well, nothing about these days was normal.

When he felt better, he took his hand back, which she seemed to see as her cue to let go of him as well. She smiled at him again before turning her back to him, looking around, and probably meaning to give him some space.

Kaeya sighed.

‘So we can get back before anyone misses us.’

That’s what she’d said. She didn’t know that he wouldn’t be missed if he’d never come back. Not really. They’d worry, probably think he’d ditched them and joined the enemy. But they’d definitely not miss him.

He shook his head. No, that wasn’t important right now. He was supposed to think and sort out his thoughts. And she was right, because if it really had been a vision, then it had to be important. Visions were always important, weren’t they?

So he closed his eyes and tried to remember what he’d seen. He was still a bit in a daze, his mind empty. Not the relaxing kind of empty, but the dangerous kind. Had he ever experienced a dangerous kind of empty? Was there even supposed to be a dangerous kind of empty?

He tried searching his mind for something, anything, just one thought, one image of that vision. But there was something else, too, and it was lurking in the shadows, deep inside of his head.

Starring right at him.

Kaeya felt his body shift against his will. He opened his eyes and looked down, watched himself turn around and unable to stop.

But it was just that. He just turned and then stilled. Carefully, he moved his hands, which worked, and he moved his torso, which worked as well. The legs, though, did not budge.

Without thinking, Kaeya lifted his head. His eyes, without even meaning to, found their way toward the horizon, latching to a specific spot, to a place he couldn’t even see but somehow knew was there.

The location of the Spiral Abyss.

He let out a shaky breath. But… That was impossible! He shouldn’t be able to know where something was while he didn’t know where he himself was. And he was sure as hell he didn’t. Like, that was part of the problem, wasn’t it?

But he had seen the Spiral Abyss in that vision. He’d flown through the forrest directly to it. And somehow, his gaze seemed outright locked on it. As if he was drawn to it.

It didn’t make any sense, though. He didn’t understand how or why he felt that way. It was unsettling, and it felt almost like an instinct. If Razor were here and knew how he was feeling, he’d probably be extremely delighted.

For a moment, a smile crept onto his face as he pictured the young boy, eyes sparkling with joy and a curiosity that stemmed solely from his desire to learn about the world. To live.

But then he changed and suddenly, the excited, happy boy was standing amidst dead bodies, humans and wolfs alike. His face was dark with grief and horror, his clothes torn and bloody. Kaeya watched his tears run down his cheeks as he grabbed his claymore and held it out in front of him, posture tense and obviously scared.

Quickly, he pushed the image back. It wasn’t the time to be afraid of the future.

He breathed deep in and out and concentrated again. Now that he was looking in the direction of the Spiral Abyss, the memories were coming back to him much easier.

There had been a throne. Thrones were meant to be sat on. By rulers, like a King or a Queen. But this throne didn’t seem to have a King or a Queen. It had looked…felt…empty. Just like his mind.

So, who was it for?

Or… A better question, what did it mean? When a throne was meant for some kind of ruler, the person allowed to sit on it was such a ruler. And a ruler, well, ruled. They were in control.

Just like the Archons, who had each been placed on a divine throne after the Archon War.

But those were thrones in Celestia. The one he had seen was in the Spiral Abyss. And the Abyss already had a leader in the Traveler’s sibling. He had seen it with his own eyes, the way they ordered the Abyss around to do what they told it to do.

No, wait a moment. That wasn’t true. Not entirely. Yes, the Traveler’s sibling had given orders to the Abyss, but it hadn’t felt like total control. They were more like a commander and the Abyss their soldier. It listened to them and they used its power, but they did not control it. Not really...

After all, the Abyss was its own entity, a destructive force, something bigger than any one person. The Abyss was obeying orders, but only because its goals aligned with those of the Abyss Order. Those two were not the same and never would be. The Abyss followed its own path. It couldn’t be controlled.

Or could it? One of the voices had said it after all. The last voice he had heard before he’d been brought back.

‘The one who controls the Abyss can control everything.’

So it had to be possible for the Abyss to be controlled. It had to be. Otherwise, he surely wouldn’t have heard it.

Kaeya’s thoughts shifted. Suddenly, a memory bubbled to the surface. The Hydro Dragon Sovereign. The Heart of the Primordial Sea. Which he had become again after regaining his full power. He had heard or read about him, he couldn’t quite remember, but that didn’t matter anyway.

As the Heart of the Primordial Sea, he was able to not only command, but fully control it. He could just shape it however he wanted, however he saw fit.

Now, the Primordial Sea probably wasn’t its own entity like the Abyss and if it was, Kaeya didn’t know. But still, his mind latched onto that idea, the memory sparking a sudden connection in his brain.

The realization hit him with full force.

It was like a punch to the stomach, making him stumble backwards. His eye widened. It was still fixed on the location of the Spiral Abyss.

He tried to look away, but he couldn’t, whatever he did, his eye had glued itself onto that place. As if there was an invisible string that had connected his eye and the Spiral Abyss-

No. His eye and the throne.

Slowly, he drew in a breath. It was shaking and caught in his throat. It became harder and harder to breathe by the second. It was a literal fight with his body, one that he couldn’t win.

Because his body acted on instinct. And instincts were so much more powerful than reason and logic.

He lifted his hands, held them in front of his face. They were trembling.

No. No, this couldn’t be right. Surely, this wasn’t supposed to happen, surely all of his thoughts were wrong, surely, he was just imagining things-

Maybe Layla had handed him very strong alcohol instead of just water. Maybe he was completely drunk and passed out somewhere. Yes, that was a good explanation for all of this! And his consciousness had tried to tell him by projecting a false Layla that wasn’t like the real one at all!

His hands had found their ways to the sides of his head. Fingers gripped his hair as if it was fabric and not attached to a human’s skull.

It just couldn’t be. It couldn’t. He didn’t want it to be true. He wasn’t that smart, he wasn’t supposed to understand any of this!

And still, deep down, he knew. He knew it was true. He knew all of it was true. And there was no way he could just walk away from it. As much as he wanted to. And he kind of knew that.

But facing that…that thing in the shadows, that was still watching his every move, was just incredibly scary. All of it was scary.

He tried to think about something else, anything, anyone. But any and every thought brought him back to the Abyss and the idea of a Heart that could control it.

And he thought about it, couldn’t stop himself from piecing together the obvious.

He was the one who had had this vision. The vision that had made it possible to arrive at this conclusion. And some of the voices had screamed his name, he had heard it clear as day. It could only mean… That he was supposed to be the new Heart of the Abyss.

But how could he be? He wasn’t anything special, even though he had always tried to make everyone think that he was, or, at least, think that he himself thought he was.

Which he didn’t. Never in his entire life had that thought ever crossed his mind. He had thought of himself as a sinner, an outcast, a burden, an adoptive brother, his adoptive brother’s support from the shadows, a liar, a traitor, a drunkard, a false Captain and a failure.

Not once had he thought of himself as special or even better than others. And he obviously wasn’t. He wasn’t worthy of such a task. How could he be, when all he had ever been was a monster?

Also, why control the Abyss when you could just wipe it out completely? Wasn’t the Traveler already trying to do that? Why not destroy the root of the problem itself?

Kaeya clenched his fists. He didn’t understand. He just didn’t.

‘You are our only hope.’

Kaeya blinked. Those were the last words his father had said to him before abandoning him at the Dawn Winery all those years ago. He had always thought that his father had been talking about Khaenri’ah and somehow reviving their homeland.

Which the Abyss Order was probably planning on doing. And he probably was supposed to play some important role in it. Some fucked up role he just didn’t want, because he had ultimately just wanted to live a peaceful life and then die someday. He had never wanted to be part of some big scheme at all.

But there was no escaping fate, now was there? It was written in the stars, everything, from the beginning. His hands were tied, he didn’t have a say in all of this. It just didn’t matter what he wanted.

Even though all he wanted right now was to protect Diluc and the family he had made in Mondstadt.

Moments passed, in which Kaeya silently stared ahead. His mind was empty, the feeling still looming in the shadows, his hands still trembling. They slowly sank down, having lost their grip on his hair, and then they settled next to his legs.

But wait…

That didn’t make any sense, now did it?

Celestia was the one controlling everyone’s fate, so how could he be destined to be Khaenri’ah’s last hope or the Heart of the Abyss? There was no way Celestia would want that. After all, they had destroyed Khaenri’ah. They didn’t want anyone to have anything to do with the Abyss besides fighting it.

And weren’t people with a Vision even more connected to fate and all that? If so, then why had he gotten this vision - man, it was kind of complicated that they were called the same - in the first place?

What if he actually had a choice?

What if he could change his fate?

Hadn’t he just thought that he wanted to protect Diluc and the others? So why did he still hesitate? Becoming the Heart of the Abyss could be his way of protecting them. He’d be able to stop the Abyss from overwhelming everything. After all, he didn’t care about its power; to him, it was about survival.

And maybe defying Celestia. But that would only be an extra bonus. Like showing them the middle finger for what they had done and were still doing.

Oh, and his father as well. Because like, screw his father. He had abandoned him in a foreign country and never cared to check up on him.

Well, he didn’t even know if he was still alive. But still!

Kaeya felt the decision settle in his mind. It scared him, there was no doubt. He would literally be walking into the unknown.

But he also knew it was right, somehow. It was the right thing to do, no matter what would happen to him. He finally had a purpose, one he had decided for himself and that would actually mean something.

He took a deep breath. In and out. It was still slightly shaky, but not as much as it had been before.

Suddenly, Layla came up next to him. Kaeya looked down at her and was surprised to find her with a worried expression.

“I just sensed something,” she whispered, as if she was afraid that someone was eavesdropping, “Something has changed. Something…” She raised her head toward the sky. “…important.” Her eyes were wide and big, shining with…fear.

Kaeya’s breath hitched. He had just made his decision. Did that mean… Did that mean he had actually changed his fate…?

Shit, what if Celestia would find out and try to stop him? He wouldn’t stand a chance against them! But he really wanted to do this, for Mondstadt, for Diluc, for-

Wait. Diluc! If Diluc could help him-

No. There was no way. He wouldn’t even listen to him. He wouldn’t even go with him if he asked him to have a conversation.

And if he would, he’d certainly hate him even more as soon as he’d try to explain. He would think Kaeya just wanted to use him for his own means, because why wouldn’t he? That was what he had always thought.

“Kaeya? Everything alright? Did you sort out your thoughts?” Layla’s voice cut through his thoughts.

And without even meaning to, he replied, “Yes, I have. And I know what I have to do. I just... I need Diluc’s help.”

Immediately, her eyes lit up. “Oh, that’s great! Then let’s get back to the camp. And I can help you convince him if you’d like. I haven’t really spoken to him that much, but he does seem kinda stoic.”

Kaeya froze. “W-What? No, that- Layla, this isn’t your problem, you shouldn’t-”

But she didn’t let him finish.

“Not my problem?,” she repeated, planting her hands on her hips, “Excuse me? With all due respect, I don’t know what you saw in that vision of yours, but if I’m interpreting things right, then this is everyone’s problem.”

She stepped closer and closer, and Kaeya instinctively backed away - until his back hit a tree trunk and he had nowhere left to go.

“I will help you, whether you like it or not,” she told him, jabbing a finger into his chest. For a second, she just stared him down, unblinking, which was more than a little unnerving. But then she finally backed off.

“Alright, time to go back then.” With a smile, she turned and looked around, then turned back to him with a sheepish expression.

“Do you…know which way we need to go?”

Kaeya exhaled the breath he’d been holding and straightened up. “Yes. That way,” he said, pointing in the direction he was sure he’d come from. It had to be. After all, when he had ran here, his mind had already been pulling him toward the Spiral Abyss.

Layla thanked him, and together they started making their way back. They talked a bit, Layla told him about her struggles (or rather, the struggles of the ‘other’ Layla? No…she was the ‘other’ Layla, so the one in control when she was awake was the ‘real’ Layla…? That sounded weird, too) and Kaeya told her about people like Klee, Razor, and Bennett.

It was a nice conversation, one that had to be cut short when they reached the camp. Layla insisted he stay back and out of sight while she went to fetch Diluc. Kaeya agreed, waiting a short distance away, nerves gnawing at him.

It didn’t take long for her to return, with Diluc trailing behind. Kaeya could practically see the change in his face, from confusion to irritation to full-blown anger…

Or maybe just annoyance. Diluc had perfected the art of blending both into a single look, one Kaeya was all too familiar with. Rarely did he see any other expression on that face.

Still, he stood up straighter and put on his usual amused smile to greet that cold, stern face, even though every part of him ached to run and hide. Thankfully, he’d had enough time to recover enough energy to put up his act. He couldn’t let him, of all people, see how vulnerable he really was. No way.

As soon as they were within a few meters, Diluc opened his mouth.

“I’m guessing you have something to tell me?,” he asked, those fiery red eyes boring into him. No surprise. Kaeya could handle that.

He nodded. “I do.” And with a more polite smile, he added, “Thank you for your help, Layla.” She returned the smile, though she seemed more reserved now. Maybe even she found someone like Diluc a little intimidating.

“No problem.”

Kaeya cleared his throat. “Now, if you’d be so kind…” He threw her a look that he hoped would signal her to leave the two of them alone. But instead, she just tilted her head in confusion.

“…and leave us alone?,” he added, putting a little extra pressure on the words.

Layla studied him thoughtfully. “You sure? I could still-”

Growing a bit impatient, he cut her off. “Please. I want to do this alone.”

She sighed, but relented. “Okay, got it.” But before leaving, she turned to Diluc, who had silently followed the conversation so far. Now, he met her eyes.

“One last thing, though. Mister Ragnvindr?”

“I already told you to just call me Diluc.”

Of course he had. Even if he didn’t look it, Diluc hated when people he had no serious business with were overly formal. That had already been the case back when they were teenagers. Watching him awkwardly accept that title from older knights or wine merchants who’d worked with Crepus had always been hilarious.

These days, Kaeya was pretty sure the title reminded him too much of their father. No one could live up to him, not even Diluc himself.

‘Mister Ragnvindr’ just wasn’t Diluc.

Layla waved off the comment like it didn’t matter. And her next words confirmed that she wasn’t particularly interested in formalities either.

“Yeah, whatever. You know I’m an astrologist, right?” Diluc raised an eyebrow, clearly not expecting that question. “So I can vouch for the validity of his vision.”

Kaeya saw Diluc tense and immediately wanted to smack himself.

“And I’m not talking about that kind of vision,” Layla clarified, patting her Cryo Vision, “Alright, back to you, Sir Kaeya!” And with a speed the awake Layla probably didn’t even know, she dashed away and out of earshot.

Kaeya wished he could freeze time, just to escape from Diluc’s inevitable reaction. The glare Diluc gave him as he slowly turned his head was nearly a death sentence on its own.

His tone was sharp, and his gaze unflinching.

“Validity of-”

“Diluc-”

That was all Kaeya managed before Diluc cut him off.

“Kaeya, what is going on?,” he growled. “Validity of your vision? What does she mean by that?”

Perfect setup for a dumb remark. Dumb, but perfect for reinforcing the mask. And that was all Kaeya could cling to right now.

So he smirked and replied, “Oh, there’s more than one meaning to those words? How interesting. No one ever told me.” He gave a faux-thoughtful look while Diluc only rolled his eyes, muttering something under his breath.

Which, for Kaeya, was as good as confirmation to keep going.

“That is an outright crime.” He pulled an exaggeratedly pained face. “Isn’t that a crime, brother? I would definitely say so.”

But Diluc didn’t answer. What a shame.

He crossed his arms, eyes like fire, as if trying to set Kaeya ablaze on the spot. “Don’t call me that. Just tell me what’s going on,” he said through gritted teeth.

Kaeya didn’t flinch. This, at least, was familiar. Normal. But it wouldn’t last - not for long.

He raised both hands in mock surrender. “Okay, okay. No need to threaten me-”

“I didn’t threaten you.”

“-I was going to tell you anyway.”

Diluc raised an unimpressed eyebrow. Kaeya could practically hear him thinking, Yeah, right.

“Well? Then do it. Tell me. And make it quick, I’ve got a meeting to get back to.”

“Right.” The meeting with Jean. The only person whose hatred for him came close to Diluc’s. The only person he cared almost as much about as him.

When he thought about it, it was kind of weird - and probably toxic – that he always ended up liking the ones who got hurt the most by his lies. The ones he admired most were always the righteous ones, those who meant well and would do anything to protect their home from people like him.

“But promise me you’re not going to kill me on the spot.”

Funny thing to say to Diluc, of all people.

But either Diluc didn’t make the connection or just didn’t care. He just scoffed. “Just hearing you say that makes me want to kill you.”

He hadn’t expected anything else. “What a great outlook,” he joked, sounding surprisingly carefree, before slightly shifting to a more serious tone, “Well, Layla already told you I had a vision. And I might have a plan to change the course of the war.”

Diluc still looked cautious and mistrustful, but Kaeya’s revelation seemed to interest him more than he’d probably expected.

“A bit cryptic as of now, but consider me intrigued,” he said, his eyes scanning Kaeya with intense scrutiny. Kaeya knew he was being analyzed down to the bone, and not knowing what Diluc was thinking made him nervous.

Still, his smile didn’t waver for even a second.

“Would you still be intrigued if I told you we’d have to go to the Spiral Abyss?”

Obviously, the answer was no. The way the other man’s expression darkened made that crystal clear.

“I’d call it more like annoyed,” Diluc growled. Kaeya chuckled, walking the last few steps up to him and casually slinging an arm over his shoulder. “Oh come on, it’s not that bad of a place.” He was immediately shoved away with an annoyed hiss.

“But we do need to go inside and-”

“Hold on, ‘go inside’?,” Diluc repeated, fists now clenched at his sides, “And who even is ‘we’?”

Kaeya instinctively backed off again. He really didn’t want to be in punching range right now.

As innocently as he could, he replied, “You and me. I thought that was quite obvious.” He blinked at Diluc sweetly, as if that would do anything. Not even animals could soften Diluc. The only one who stood a chance was Klee.

Diluc scoffed. “And here I thought you were better at manipulating people.” His voice dripped with contempt, and the words struck Kaeya right in the heart like a claymore.

It wasn’t news to Kaeya that Diluc didn’t like his methods, or the way he operated in general. He’d accepted it. Accepted the endless arguments, the scathing remarks.

But this-

Right here-

Diluc thought he was trying to manipulate him?

And somehow, that hurt so much more than all the criticism. It stung deeper than any comment about his tactics or intentions. This… This was worse.

His heart constricted painfully, and for a second, he couldn’t even breathe.

“I’m not-”

But he couldn’t finish. His breath trembled as Diluc cut him off, drowning out his voice.

“Spare your words for someone dumber than me. I won’t fall for your tricks, you hear me?,” he growled, “So don’t bother me again.” The hatred in his expression was nearly enough to make Kaeya break down right then and there. This day had already been too much, this vision, the chaos, everything.

But he couldn’t give up. He needed Diluc. No matter how angry he was, no matter how many times he pushed Kaeya away.

So when Diluc turned and began to walk away, Kaeya stood frozen for a second. Then moved, quickly turning and stepping in front of him.

“What a party-pooper you are, Diluc.”

The redhead scowled. “Ugh, stop being childish. I have better things to do than entertain your stupid fantasies!” Kaeya could feel the venom behind the words, each one sharper than the last.

“Right. Like planning and strategizing for the war I’m trying to end here!”

Diluc rolled his eyes and tried to pass him again, but Kaeya blocked his path. “What did I just say?? Are you even listening to yourself?!”

“I am, but you don’t seem to hear me,” Kaeya shot back, a mix of fake amusement and real conviction in his voice, “I mean it, Diluc. This isn’t a game to me either. I have an idea that could help-”

“A moment ago, you said you had a plan.”

Seriously? He was really going to pick on that?

Kaeya placed one hand on his hip. “Plan, idea, what does it matter?”

“More than you seem to care about!,” Diluc snapped, stepping closer, locking eyes with Kaeya, “But fine, even if what you say is true, what are you even going to do? Hm? Go to the Spiral Abyss, and then what?”

Kaeya fell silent. He could barely meet Diluc’s intense gaze, which felt like it could crush him under its weight.

Truth was, he didn’t exactly know. He wasn’t sure if the throne he saw even existed, or if it was just a symbol. He hadn’t thought it through, everything had happened so fast.

But his instinct, whatever had awakened the vision inside him, told him he had to go there. And once he was there, he was sure he’d know what to do.

He had to.

Because if he didn’t…

He had no idea what he’d do.

But how could he explain that to Diluc? Diluc, who always had a plan. Diluc, who never left anything to chance. Diluc, who had always been a better Captain than him.

Kaeya felt his mask cracking. The pressure of Diluc’s stare was too much. It made him feel so small. His eyes were too fiery, too knowing, too harsh. He couldn’t withstand them. Not today.

So he said nothing.

“Then what, Kaeya?!,” Diluc pressed, clearly losing his patience. And Kaeya couldn’t blame him. In his place, he’d be furious, too.

It was a miracle Diluc hadn’t already forced his way past him.

Kaeya swallowed and looked at him again. “I can’t tell you.”

Hatred and anger twisted into something darker. Disgust. “Hmph. Worse than I thought. I’m leaving.” And this time, he really did push Kaeya aside, hitting him in the process. He hadn’t even used full force, probably didn’t think Kaeya was worth the energy.

As Kaeya watched him walk away toward the camp, everything he’d been holding back, everything he’d tried to suppress, came crashing down like an avalanche.

Diluc was leaving. Of course he was. Of course he didn’t trust him. Why would he?

But Kaeya needed him. He fucking needed him. He couldn’t do this alone-

He was the reason Kaeya was still here. Still fighting. And yeah, he was selfish. He knew he was selfish. He always had been, seeking Diluc’s attention, working with him, drinking in his tavern just to stay connected…

He was nothing but selfish.

So who was to say he wouldn’t choose selfishness again when it mattered the most? That he wouldn’t run away, like always? Who was to say he wouldn’t betray the cause, just like he’d betrayed him?

He didn’t want to be. Not this time. This time, he wanted to do something good. Something real.

Kaeya swallowed hard. But wasn’t that desire selfish as well?

Of course it was.

Everything he did was selfish. He hated it - hated himself for it.

He didn’t deserve a good moment. He didn’t deserve to be seen as selfless or noble. Even sacrifice would be selfish, because he’d only be doing it to make himself feel better!

Without realizing, he clenched his fists. Fingernails dug into his palms, deep, but he didn’t feel the pain.

Every thought he had was selfish. Even not wanting to be selfish was selfish!

Unless… Unless he just stopped thinking about it. Stopped obsessing over every little motive. Because this wasn’t about him. It had never been.

He had to accept what he was. He couldn’t change it. It didn’t matter. He didn’t matter.

But Diluc… Diluc did matter.

He wanted to protect him. Wanted the war to end. Wanted life to return to what it was, so that Diluc could live normally again. And if that was selfish… Well, so be it.

Kaeya raised his head and saw Diluc leaving. The fear gripped him tight as he felt him slipping away.

No. He couldn’t let that happen.

He needed Diluc. He needed him.

Only Diluc could remind him why he had to stay. Why he had to become the Heart of the Abyss.

And if he could show Diluc, just once, that he wasn’t a monster…

That he could do more than just manipulate and lie…

It was selfish. But the desperation to be seen by him… It gave him strength.

And suddenly, he moved. Nearly stumbling, but catching himself. Driven by nothing but pure need, he ran after him, reached out, and grabbed his arm, yanking him around.

Diluc’s glare was still venomous, full of rage, contempt, disgust, and more. Kaeya could already hear him getting ready to snap, to tell him off.

But Kaeya was faster.

His grip tightened. His mask dropped. He let everything show on his face.

“Diluc, please!,” His voice cracked, and he didn’t even care, “I know you have no reason to trust me. And if I were you, I wouldn’t either. But still- I need you to believe me! I-”

He hesitated.

Then threw the last bit of his pride to the wind.

He didn’t need it anymore.

“I’m begging you!!”

Diluc just…stopped.

While Kaeya had spoken to him, he had tried to get out of his grip, but now, he was just staring at him with widened eyes. His pupils were moving ever so slightly, and Kaeya could only guess that he was searching his face for any signs of a lie.

But there was none. He should know.

Slowly, Kaeya let go of Diluc’s arm. He couldn’t bear to look at him any longer - the emotions whirling across his face were far too complicated.

And despite everything, Kaeya was afraid. Afraid of rejection. He didn’t know if he would be able to take it. Not after being so goddamn vulnerable.

Seconds passed. To Kaeya, it felt like an eternity until Diluc finally found his voice again.

“...Shit.”

That one word, shaky as it was, made Kaeya look up again. He saw Diluc blink rapidly for a moment before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

When he spoke again, his voice was steadier, but there was no hiding the distress.

“You’re serious about this,” he murmured and it wasn’t a question. Still, Kaeya, now fidgeting with his clothes, nodded.

Diluc sighed, shook his head, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Damn it, Kaeya. This is…” Another pause. Another silence, in which Kaeya still couldn’t quite believe Diluc was this…this overwhelmed.

“You can’t really expect me to blindly follow you.”

“No, I can’t. I know,” Kaeya choked out, barely able to form the words. He swallowed, trying to fight the lump in his throat. “And I would do it by myself, I just…” His eyes found Diluc’s. “I can’t do it without you, Diluc,” he finally whispered.

Diluc just stared at him. This time, Kaeya could feel the clenching of his fists, how his nails dug into his skin. He felt the pain they inflicted, the skin tearing slightly, the blood starting to seep out.

The other man lowered his head. He looked down to the ground, silent and unmoving, and Kaeya didn’t know if he wanted to know what was going on inside his mind.

Then, Diluc turned away from him, looking over to the camp for a long while. He was clearly weighing his options, thinking if he should stay with Jean and help Mondstadt and the other nations the normal way, the expected way, or join Kaeya: the traitor, the liar, the nothing.

It was an agonizing wait. But then, Diluc turned back to him. He looked him over again, analyzing every detail he could find, until he sighed.

He opened his mouth. Closed it. Looked back to the camp. Then at Kaeya again.

“Would be too dangerous all alone anyway,” he grumbled, “Fine. I’ll come with you.”

Kaeya couldn’t help but blink rapidly, just like Diluc had done before. As relief washed over him, his heart pounded in his chest harder than ever, so fast he was almost afraid it would jump right out of his body.

Diluc wasn’t done yet, though.

“Doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice anyway. Someone has to keep an eye on you,” he added, as if trying to rationalize his decision. But Kaeya didn’t care. He really couldn’t care less why Diluc had decided to come with him.

He was coming. That was all that mattered.

“Amber did a really good job at that, you know.”

Diluc didn’t look too pleased about his cheeky side returning, but Kaeya just didn’t know how else to silently celebrate.

“But we can’t have her running off with you into the Spiral Abyss.”

Very true. Although he never showed it, Kaeya appreciated Amber a lot. She was an excellent knight — never one to slack off, always holding her head high. Even when the odds were against her, she never gave up. Never. She was how every knight should be.

“Never said I’d want that.”

Diluc only shrugged and didn’t respond. Kaeya also stayed quiet, not knowing what else to say. He hadn’t been this open in a long time, not with anyone, and now he was at a loss.

What did people even do after being vulnerable? Especially with someone they didn’t exactly have the best relationship with, not after a fight they’d never truly talked about?

He couldn’t imagine it was ever easy to change the subject after that. Even friends had to feel a bit awkward, right? Being vulnerable wasn’t something you just…did. No matter how emotionally intelligent someone was, it was always going to feel weird.

He swallowed. His eye flicked toward Diluc and back to the ground. He didn’t dare meet his gaze. Didn’t want to imagine how he might be thinking about him now.

The silence dragged on and on, and Kaeya’s skin started to tingle. His legs were screaming at him to move, to do something, but his head knew he couldn’t. Running now would only make things worse. Much worse.

Still, something had to happen. Anything. He couldn’t take the silence, it was too much. Even breathing felt wrong. How could breathing feel wrong? And why was he thinking about that instead of what to say?

Finally, Diluc cleared his throat.

“Well, I…guess you want to leave as soon as possible, right?,” he asked. His tone was stiff, awkward, almost mechanical, and it made Kaeya realize he wasn’t the only one feeling like this.

He nodded quickly, forcing his voice into something resembling calm. “Yeah. Definitely. The sooner we’re there, the better.” Not as confident as he’d hoped, but it would have to do. The situation was already a mess. What was one more crack in the illusion?

“That sounds about right,” Diluc said, “I’ll just…talk to Jean. Let her know I’ll be gone for a while.”

“What are you going to tell her?”

For a short moment, Diluc just looked at him silently. Then, he shrugged. “I’ll figure something out.” After that, he turned and walked away.

Kaeya followed him with his gaze until he was out of sight. He knew Diluc well enough to know he wouldn’t tell Jean the truth. Not when she distrusted Kaeya as much as she did right now. Sure, she trusted Diluc, but her worry often overshadowed the trust she held for her people.

Kaeya took a few steps back and leaned against a tree, letting his head hang and sighing deeply.

What a mess this day had become. Not only had he saved two strangers from monsters, but he’d also broken down, gotten a vision, broken down again, and somehow managed to convince Diluc to help him with a plan that couldn’t even be called a plan.

And now that he had a moment to himself after all that, he didn’t know what to feel. Anxiety, relief, happiness, worry? He just didn’t know. Didn’t know what he was supposed to feel.

Or what he actually felt.

When he tried to listen to his own thoughts, there was nothing but a strange emptiness, mixed with restlessness. Maybe everything had just been too much. Maybe he hadn’t had time to process what had happened today. No, what had happened over the past two weeks.

Kaeya closed his eyes. Slowly, he breathed in and out. He felt himself shaking, his legs wanting to give in. But he didn’t. He couldn’t let them.

He had a mission. Or something resembling a mission. He couldn’t falter, couldn’t show weakness. He had to show Diluc that he could do this.

So he used the time Diluc took to talk to Jean to steady himself. Everything would be easier if he acted more like his usual self. More confident, at least outwardly. If he made jokes. If he annoyed Diluc. An annoyed Diluc would be easier to handle.

It took longer than he expected for Diluc to come back. And when he did, he looked…strange. Awkward. A little beside himself. His eyes flicked all over the place and his posture was tense, but not in the usual way.

Kaeya could only guess that lying to Jean hadn’t been easy. After all, she had been his childhood friend, too.

But neither of them said anything about it. It wasn’t Kaeya’s place to ask, and he was sure Diluc just wanted to forget it as quickly as possible.

As soon as the man was within earshot, he remarked, “So, I really hope you have a plan to get to the Spiral Abyss.”

Kaeya, welcoming him back with a smile, nodded. “Oh, I certainly do, dear brother,” he chuckled, ignoring the grumble at the word ‘brother’, “Though I’m afraid you’ll have to be patient for a moment or two.” He winked.

Diluc crossed his arms and made a displeased noise. “Patient for what?”

“Just wait and see,” Kaeya sing-songed before turning more serious and closing his eyes. Another deep breath as he concentrated. He cleared his mind, focusing only on what he wanted to convey. On who he wanted to reach.

Words formed in his mind - words he had said thousands of times and knew by heart. Words he had once practiced day and night.

There had been a time when he had thought of them as meaningless - nothing more than a hollow chant for a belief he no longer held. But he had never forgotten them. And today, they were like a treasure to him.

Heart of the winds, our eternal compass. In times of peril, you gift us your kindness. Through the darkest night, your love be our light. When the storm is fierce, may your wings give us shelter. And if all is well, let your songs grace our lips. We place our hopes in your safe hands, so fly high to the heavens and hold them dear. Amen.

He barely noticed how his lips moved with the words, how his posture softened, how his shoulders loosened. It was nothing less than comforting to speak this prayer.

Even if he was using it to call, not to worship.

When he opened his eye again, he noticed Diluc staring at him in confusion. He was about to speak, but Kaeya shook his head, smiling gently.

“I told you, be patient for a moment or two.”

Diluc huffed and shut his mouth.

And so they waited. But it really did take only a moment or two before the wind began to blow, seemingly from nowhere and everywhere at once. Diluc snapped his head around, trying to figure out what was happening, while Kaeya stayed still, listening to the rustling trees…

…and suddenly catching the scent of Cecilias.

He looked over to Diluc, who had frozen at the sensation. Kaeya could see realization slowly dawning on his face, but he didn’t have time to voice it.

The heavy sound of large, slow-flapping wings echoed through the air. And then, a voice:

“I have been summoned!”

The voice was coated in sunlight - gentle and kind and light as a feather, yet with a slight rasp. It carried a seriousness that couldn’t be ignored, even if it seemed completely at odds with the person it belonged to.

Immediately, Diluc turned around, his hair whipping through the air. Kaeya took his time. He didn’t want to look, but he knew he had no choice.

So he turned as well, back facing the camp, and his eyes were drawn to a white glow cutting through the green and brown of the forest. Its light reflected in the beautiful teal eyes that met Kaeya’s own. He shouldn’t have been able to see them from so far away, but somehow, he did.

A few steps away, he heard Diluc mutter, “So it actually is you…” It was too quiet to be heard, or at least it should have been, but the one they were both staring at seemed to have heard him nonetheless.

There was no doubt who it was. Even a blind person could’ve seen the Anemo energy swirling around him.

“Oh? And here I thought I was being mysterious with my entrance,” the Anemo Archon mused, but dropped the topic the next second. “Anyway, come closer, you two.”

They didn’t need to be told twice. The two men stepped forward, and Kaeya glanced at the white wings now neatly folded behind Venti’s back. From what he could tell, they looked a little worn, as if he’d flown through a storm.

“Venti-,” Diluc began as they reached him, voice cautious, eyes searching. But the god interrupted him with ease.

“Not here. I don’t want to draw any attention to myself,” he said, briefly glancing toward the camp, “Let’s walk a bit. Follow me.” He gave them a small smile and turned, heading away from the camp and deeper into the woods. Again, they followed him without question.

Kaeya didn’t say anything, but he had long since noticed the state Venti was in. His body was covered in blood - whether it was his own or someone else’s, Kaeya didn’t know - and dirt. What little clothing he wore was torn in several places. And even though he was trying to act like his usual self, he had lost his playful demeanor.

It was obvious the main battle had taken its toll on him.

Of course it had. But still, it hurt to see him like this. To realize the God of Wind and Freedom was struggling, just like the rest of them.

Eventually, Venti stopped. He turned to face them with a smile, just like always, though it only barely hid his exhaustion.

Who would’ve thought a God could be so bad at hiding how he felt?

“You may speak now,” Venti said, nodding slightly, and Diluc broke his silence. Still, he hesitated for a moment before saying, “Kaeya called you, didn’t he?”

Venti nodded again, his gaze falling on Kaeya. His lips curved into a soft, meaningful smile.

Kaeya remembered. He remembered how, after their true identities had been revealed, Venti had hugged him tightly and whispered that if Kaeya ever needed him, he only had to call him in his mind. That he would always hear him. Always come for him. That he would never ignore his voice. Never.

Kaeya had shivered then, and Venti hadn’t let him go for a long time. In that moment, he hadn’t been a God, or even a friend. He had been a father, someone Kaeya trusted with his life. Someone he felt safe with.

Someone he knew would never judge him for who he was.

The full weight of that promise hadn’t hit him until much later. Only after Venti had left to fight. Only then had Kaeya realized how much that vow meant. Not just to him, but probably to Venti, too.

He hadn’t tried calling him since then. A small sliver of doubt had stayed buried in the back of his mind. Just a whisper. But it had suffocated him at night.

And yet…seeing him now. Sensing him. Despite his condition, Venti’s presence was enough to calm Kaeya’s raging heart.

“I’m glad he did,” Venti whispered. Then he straightened slightly. “Now then, I would also appreciate it if someone told me why I was summoned. As far as I can tell, you’re not in immediate danger.”

He raised an eyebrow.

Kaeya cleared his throat. “That’s true, yes. But as it happens, I have a plan-”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Diluc roll his eyes.

“-that requires us to get to the Spiral Abyss.”

As soon as Kaeya said it, Venti froze. The mask he’d been using to conceal his emotions crumbled instantly, swept away by concern. Kaeya felt the weight of his teal gaze - sharp, searching - as if he were being read like an open book.

Did Venti know? Or at least…suspect?

Nervously, Kaeya shifted his weight, trying not to let the restlessness take over.

“Can you get us there?,” Diluc asked, cutting through the silence. He didn’t want to wait for Venti’s answer, it seemed. But unlike usual when talking to him, he didn’t sound impatient.

After a pause, Venti sighed. “I can… It’s just that…” He hesitated. His eyes moved back and forth between them. And in the span of a heartbeat, a thousand thoughts seemed to flicker across his face.

Then he settled.

“Ah, never mind,” he said. His expression softened. “I believe in you.”

And even though he didn’t say it outright, Kaeya could tell the words were meant mostly for him.

“Still, you’ll need to be careful. I’ll summon a wind current that will carry you there, but the farther you get from me, the harder it’ll be for me to control it. Which means-”

“-you can’t guarantee our safety,” Diluc finished.

Kaeya gave a crooked smile. “What wonderful prospects. But I suppose it can’t be helped.”

His eye wandered once more across the blood staining the Archon’s body.

“You’ve got other places to be. I’m already grateful you came.”

Venti shook his head. Slowly, steadily, he stepped forward, only stopping once he stood directly in front of him. Then he reached up and gently cupped Kaeya’s face with cool, soft hands.

The touch was light. Tender. Soothing. He held him like that, just watching him. Fingers brushed along his cheeks with quiet affection.

“Don’t say that,” he whispered, his voice barely more than a breath of wind. And Kaeya understood instantly, that Venti had heard the real message buried in his words. Maybe even before Kaeya himself had.

He blinked away the tears rising in his eye. Venti smiled. It was a smile full of love and warmth and compassion. The kind Kaeya had once believed he would never be worthy of.

“There isn’t really a place where the wind does not blow,” Venti murmured. “After all, air is everywhere. And if there’s even the slightest breeze… I’ll be there, too.”

Gently, he tugged Kaeya’s head downward. Kaeya let him.

The Archon leaned up and placed the lightest, softest kiss on his forehead.

Kaeya closed his eye. He didn’t dare move. Didn’t dare breathe. The kiss felt like a blessing. Like pure, immaculate Anemo energy. Like another promise, one that said he would always be there, even if Kaeya couldn’t see him.

Venti’s hands slowly fell away from his face. Kaeya opened his eye again.

The God held his gaze for a few seconds longer, then turned to Diluc, who had watched the entire exchange in silence.

And Kaeya was very grateful for that.

Venti gave him a nod - a simple gesture, but clearly stating that he had said what he had needed to say.

“Alright,” he said, “If you run out of the forest in that direction-“ He pointed in the same direction Kaeya had fled in during his breakdown. “-you’ll reach the wind current I mentioned. Remember to be careful, alright?”

His voice had turned serious now, gaze flicking between them. Both men nodded.

Another smile.

“Good. I believe in you.”

Then, with one last glance at them, Venti spread his wings again and vanished into the woods.

It felt like waking from the sweetest of dreams. The warmth was gone in an instant. Kaeya suddenly felt light-headed. He noticed the Cecilias were no longer in the air, and the wind had stopped blowing from all directions at once.

Next to him, Diluc cleared his throat, pulling him from his thoughts. “We should get going.” Kaeya nodded. Of course. He’d been the one who’d said they shouldn’t wait too long to act.

He took a deep breath in, then out, rolled his head and let the bones in his neck crack.

“Let’s go, then.”

Diluc nodded, and almost at the same moment, they set off. Without another word, they fell into a steady pace after just a few steps, running side by side through the forest. They weaved around trees and bushes, leapt over fallen trunks and roots.

It was almost like they were young again. As if they were running just for the fun of it, as if their only destination was a sunlit clearing or a patch of golden light, maybe even an animal they were chasing, laughing all the while.

Kaeya glanced over at Diluc. His fiery red hair trailed behind him, caught by the wind despite the ponytail, his eyes fixed straight ahead in focused silence. Kaeya felt the air whipping through his own hair too, clearing his head with each breath, filling the emptiness that Venti had left behind.

For a moment, he could’ve almost enjoyed the run. If not for the constant reminder in the back of his mind. Dark, hidden in the shadows. Whispering quietly about what he would have to do in the end.

Before long, they reached the edge of the forest. Even before they burst through the last of the trees, they could already hear the roaring of the wind current and began to slow down.

Seconds later, they broke free of the treeline and stood face to face with their mode of transport.

It looked like a gateway. The wind gathered in a vortex, circling in place. The grass all around it whipped about wildly, and stray leaves danced untamed within the current. It spiraled high into the sky and stretched far off into the distance - directly toward the Spiral Abyss.

Kaeya swallowed hard. He could sense the Anemo energy swirling around it, holding it together, keeping it controlled, but even now, it looked dangerous. How would it be once Venti’s control began to fade?

“Do you think we can use our gliders?,” he asked, eyes locked on the current, not noticing Diluc shake his head beside him.

“Absolutely not,” he declared, just as fixated on the sight in front of him as Kaeya, “The current is way too unpredictable. For all we know, it could tear them apart the second we step inside.”

What a wonderful outlook.

Still, Kaeya had to admit Diluc was right. Wind gliders were practical tools, but the stronger the wind, the more unpredictable they became. And judging by the way those leaves were being tossed around in there, Kaeya had no interest in finding out what would happen to his glider.

So he agreed. But to his surprise, Diluc wasn’t done.

“Still, because of that unpredictability, we should…” He hesitated. Kaeya gave him a curious look. It was rare for Diluc to be unsure of his words and even rarer for him to show it. When he said something, it was usually with absolute confidence.

The redhead cleared his throat quietly. “...we should hold hands.”

Kaeya blinked and raised an eyebrow. “Hold hands?,” he echoed, incredulous. Then a slow, amused smirk crept across his face.

Casually, he walked over to Diluc, letting a hand drift lightly across his shoulder as he circled him. “My my, Diluc,” he teased, voice silky, “Didn’t think you were the type to suggest something like that.”

What ‘the type’ was? Kaeya wasn’t sure either. But the faint flush of embarrassment on Diluc’s face was more than worth the comment.

Diluc slapped his hand away with a huff, muttering something into his non-existent beard. “Shut up. This isn’t the time for jokes,” he growled under his breath. Kaeya only chuckled. “Whatever you say…,” he singsonged.

But his smile vanished when Diluc suddenly grabbed his hand. He stared at it, frozen by the suddenness of that action.

“I said what I said,” the other huffed, dragging him closer to the current, “So let’s not waste time.” But Kaeya didn’t reply. He was speechless and completely overwhelmed by the fact that Diluc had just gripped him this nonchalant and without even asking if he was ready.

Said man seemed to realize that Kaeya wasn’t particularly in the moment right now, so he tugged at his hand, making the blue-haired look at him.

“Are you listening to me?” Kaeya swallowed and forced himself to nod, giving a thumbs up. “Of course I am.”

Diluc didn’t look very convinced, but he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he asked, “Well, are you ready then?” Kaeya turned his gaze to the current that was now right in front of him. He was already feeling the winds, how they were playing with his clothes and hair.

He knew, as soon as they would step in, there would be no turning back. They would be going to the Spiral Abyss, if he wanted to or not, and sooner or later they would definitely be on their own.

Venti had said it himself. He couldn’t protect them all the way. It would be dangerous. They had to expect everything.

“This is not how I planned my day to go, but here I am,” he said instead of an agreement and hoped Diluc would just take it as fact. He wasn’t ready, he didn’t actually want to be tossed around in this current and face the possibility of breaking a bone or two, but he had already made a decision. He couldn’t turn back now.

Diluc scoffed. “You were the one that dragged me here.” For a moment, they both kept their eyes fixed on the current, how it twirled around itself, and Kaeya could only guess that Diluc was thinking something similar as him.

“But who cares,” said man mumbled. Kaeya broke his stare and met Diluc’s gaze, that was as confident as always. They nodded and almost simultaneously stepped forward.

The current got closer and closer. Kaeya felt his legs shake, but he tried to push his fear away.

And then it was time. They stepped into the current.

Nothing could’ve prepared them for the shear power with which the winds gripped their bodies. They were forcefully ripped from the ground and sucked into the storm before they had even completely gotten inside.

Kaeya’s throat escaped a suffocated cry. It got lost in the rumbling of the wind slashing into them as they were hurled round and round, air pushed out of their lungs and barely able to catch a breath.

In mere seconds, he had forgotten where they were. Dizziness overtook him and turned his mind into mush. His vision blurred, making it hard so see anything. Diluc was nothing more than a swirl of black and red somewhere in his line of view.

The sensations were too quickly too much. His limbs were everywhere at once, completely out of control, and he couldn’t even be sure if he was even still holding Diluc’s hand.

Until, out of nowhere, their spinning slowed.

Kaeya felt himself being turned into a more or less stable position, able to conceive his surroundings a little. At least, enough for him to know that he was flying with his head pointing forwards and his stomach to where he supposed was the ground.

Well, somewhere. Probably.

Only now did he realize that he had tightened his grasp on Diluc’s hand. He went on to lessen it a little, but as soon as he tried to do that, Diluc interjected his plan by reinforcing their hold again.

Startled, Kaeya glanced over, but Diluc ignored him. From what he could catch, his expression seemed stiff and rigid and Kaeya couldn’t help but smile. Whether he had secured their grasp out of concern or simply just a precaution for his own safety didn’t matter to him. It was enough that he had done it at all.

That thought brought him back to their sudden stabilization. This had to be what Venti had meant by protecting them.

Sure, they were still flying through this current with incredible speed, and sure, the winds were still clawing at their clothes like hungry wolves. But they weren’t the winds toys anymore.

Though, even that wouldn’t last. He wasn’t allowed to forget that. And he couldn’t, not when the current was still rising, higher and higher, further and further away from the safe ground. Which they would need to get back down on eventually.

Would the current just…put them down? Would it connect to the ground like it had on their arrival? Or would it puke them out and let them fall to their death…?

Kaeya sincerely hoped it wouldn’t. Their gliders weren’t made for this, and he doubted they’d survive the sudden drag if they’d try to open them mid-fall. Diluc had already said something like that, too. And if they did open them, the sheer force would certainly have devastating consequences on their bodies.

He had no idea what exactly would happen if they did - he didn’t know anything about medicine beyond basic first aid - but he knew it couldn’t be good.

But they had some more time to worry about that. The current made them travel fast, but wind wasn’t nearly as fast as lightning. They watched the familiar landscape change beneath them, leaving it behind as they were carried over the sea.

It seemed so calm and peaceful, nothing like the war that was going on behind them. Waves swept lazily, guided by natural breezes, and the water reflected the sun’s golden light. One could almost forget.

But Kaeya didn’t. And he didn’t dare try to look back, not wanting to see anything that could possibly be happening.

As his headache once again made itself known, they were already halfway there. They were coming closer and closer to the Spiral Abyss and slowly, but surely, Kaeya felt not only his head hurting and throbbing, but also how the wind current was gaining back control over them.

At first, it was little more than a gentle plucking, like the wind was testing how far it could go. As if it had a mind of its own.

But then, Venti’s power was dwindling - Kaeya could actively sense it. Their flight started to get jerky and the current position difficult to maintain.

The two men exchanged a glance.

“We have to be ready for more turbulences!,” Diluc shouted over the roaring wind. And Kaeya could only agree. He was already concentrating hard on staying stable and holding onto Diluc’s hand so he wouldn’t be caught off guard when it got worse.

But then, from one moment to the next, it seemed as if Venti’s control over the current had completely disappeared.

The air caught in Kaeya’s throat as he was suddenly seized and thrown around. He twirled, hair slapping his face, his arm twisting as Diluc was whipped away from him. A searing pain shot through his shoulder and he cried out, yanked in Diluc’s direction as the other was thrashed.

He tried to breathe, but the air was sharp, stinging his lungs and making him want to double over. His nerves screamed, his stomach flipped, and the water he had drunken earlier was dangerously close to rising again.

All around them was nothing but sky - above and below, left and right - and in his ears a piercing, shrill ring that set his skull ablaze.

He was close to losing consciousness, panic overtaking him, when he was suddenly yanked forward - at least, that’s what he believed - and slammed against something hard. A hand clawed at his arm, holding him tight, and then there was Diluc shouting:

“KAEYA!! HOLD ON!!”

The voice cut through the ringing, and more out of instinct than anything else, Kaeya obeyed. His free hand grabbed for Diluc, fabric or skin, he wasn’t sure, and dug in, desperate.

They were being hurled around violently, all the while clinging onto each other, not even noticing the current’s shift in direction - until their speed increased.

They were descending.

The world tilted around them, spiraling downward. The Spiral Abyss came into view, as did the ground, rushing up toward them with terrifying speed.

Kaeya’s heart slammed against his ribs. His head throbbed, his hands burned and froze at once, and his grip threatened to slip.

“YOU HAVE A PLAN?!,” he shouted, struggling to keep his voice steady despite the chaos around him.

But Diluc didn’t answer.

Terror clutched Kaeya’s chest. Had the winds taken him after all? Had he blacked out?

But then, Kaeya saw the fire in those crimson eyes. Focused, determined, fierce. Even over the wind, Diluc’s expression roared. And finally, he looked back at Kaeya, eyes steady.

“DO YOU TRUST ME?!”

Kaeya stared at him, nearly forgetting that they were currently falling to their doom. This question was so out-of-character, that the sharp cries of the wind and dull slashes against his body suddenly seemed secondary.

It took him too long to answer.

“KAEYA!!! DO!! YOU!! TRUST!! ME??!,” Diluc repeated, even more urgent than before.

Kaeya opened his mouth, ready to answer, when another slash hurled them around, making them rotate, loosing direction. It pushed the air out of lungs yet again.

He gasped, every such motion sending pain through his body, but he forced himself fight it.

“I DO!!! I TRUST YOU!!!”

A coughing fit shook his body, but he didn’t care. In the corner of his eye, he noticed Diluc smile.

“SHOOT CRYO WHEN I SHOOT PYRO!!!,” he yelled, “WHEN I TELL YOU, OPEN YOUR GLIDER!!!”

“GOT IT!!!,” Kaeya shouted back, swallowing when his body choked up bits of his breakfast. It was disgusting, but he was not going to spew it out in this storm.

As they got closer and closer to the ground, his heart nearly jumping out of his chest, wind howling, tearing at them, it was only a matter of seconds in which the following things happened.

They reached the end of the wind current.

When Kaeya realized this, they were already in free fall, plummeting down towards the ground. He felt Diluc’s grip at his arm loosen and he immediately understood what that meant.

Moments later, Diluc started shooting pyro. Kaeya joined him with barely any delay, ice firing from his hand.

Ice and flame collided mid-air, bursting into a deafening shockwave that cracked the sky like thunder. The force slammed into their bodies, a sudden wall of pressure that clawed against gravity.

He didn’t need Diluc to shout his command.

As soon as his mind had pieced together the information, he reacted, letting go of Diluc’s hand and opening his glider.

The sudden stop to his fall rushed through his body and caused another, sharp pain in his head, but it didn’t nearly hurt as much as it would’ve without the explosion.

With the glider now open, getting to the ground was a piece of cake for both of them. Slowly they sank down, nearing safe ground, and when Kaeya finally landed, he allowed himself to fall to his knees.

Before he knew it, exhaustion made itself known. His shaky breath went quick and heavy, and once again, he coughed a little. The air was still tainted with high elemental energy from the explosion, making it not much easier to breathe, but at least it didn’t sting in his throat anymore.

Diluc, who had landed shortly before him, was already on his feet again. He walked up next to him, crouching down and catching his gaze.

“You okay?”

The adrenaline in his body was still too overwhelming for Kaeya to be surprised about the worry that sounded in Diluc’s voice. So he just nodded, mumbling, “Yeah yeah, everything fine. I just…” He breathed in and out deeply. “…I just need a moment.”

Diluc nodded in understanding and stood up again, disappearing out of Kaeya’s point of view. Only his boots were left behind, though which stalked out of reach after a moment as well.

A trembling sigh escaped his lips. He licked them, feeling the rough surface and slightly pointed, protruding edges, but also tasting blood.

He had probably bitten down somewhere along the line. It was no surprise, given that their trip had been such a stressful mess.

Kaeya took another deep breath before carefully standing up. His legs still didn’t feel all too steady, but he decided to just ignore it. He quickly dusted off his clothes and walked over to Diluc, who was already staring at the entrance to the Spiral Abyss.

When he noticed Kaeya, he got moving and together they marched ahead, over the slightly flooded pathway and toward the big gate.

Its glowing colors made his skin crawl, but his steps did not waver. The pull, which he hadn’t actually perceived during their flight in the wind current, made him even fasten his tempo.

Unlike when they had entered the current, this time, they did not hesitate. This time, they only shared a quick look before they went through the gate.

The Spiral Abyss did not look like they had imagined.

Somehow, it seemed like any ordinary domain you could find out in the wild. The atmosphere was nothing like the frightening Abyss itself, not at all dark and gloomy as they would’ve thought.

Nor were there any monsters in sight.

The only thing that differentiated it from any other domain was the light, bathing the surroundings in a golden glow that seemed majestical and captivating.

They carefully went in deeper, cautious and attentive to the bone, expecting an attack at any moment. But they were completely alone.

No flickering lights, no suspicious fog, no strange noises.

“Maybe none of the monsters wanted to miss out on the fun on the surface,” Kaeya suggested jokingly, covering the fact that his headache and the pull had worsened, while Diluc seemed to be just fine and unaffected.

Said man rolled his eyes, but maybe he had grown tired of commenting on Kaeya’s inappropriate behavior. He just warned him not to drop his guard before turning away from him.

At least, he didn’t seem to suspect Kaeya of masking the truth again.

After inspecting the floor they had first found themselves in, they took the way to the next floor, walking up the old, decaying stairs. And again, it was devoid of monsters and any other abyssal activities.

It was strange, but it did not stop them from continuing their way upwards. They went from floor to floor, from stairs to stairs, ascending further and further into the Spiral Abyss.

Except that they weren’t.

Every few floors, the light that illuminated their surroundings got blue. At first it had been just once or twice, but at one point, when they had already climbed up countless of stairs, this mystical, blue light had fully replaced the golden radiance from before.

And while this seemed to be the only difference, Kaeya could sense that they were nearing something. Something that made him shiver with fear, but which also awoke an icy tingle under his skin.

It was somewhat familiar to the feeling when he had first used his Cryo Vision. But there was no special amount of elemental energy around them, so he knew this couldn’t bet it.

And besides, Diluc didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary.

Which meant that it was something he alone felt. Maybe a sign that they were getting close?

Just as he was thinking that, they arrived at the next floor. Kaeya let his gaze wander over the round platform in front of them, until he froze dead in his tracks.

This floor was different.

Behind the edge of the platform that marked the floor hung a luminous moon. Its ethereal glow bathed the floor in a mystical shine, towering in the sky and looking down at them as if on a divine throne.

Kaeya couldn’t look away. The sight had immediately captured him. Together with the white clouds floating around the moon, as if they were carrying it, it had a hypnotic effect on him. And the cold, all-embracing starlight in the background seemed to highlight it even more.

As if in a trance, he slowly moved closer and closer, breathlessly beholding its beauty. Every step felt weightless and airy, as if walking through endless fog that clouded his mind.

But not in a weird, mushy way. Rather in a comforting, soothing way, like a gentle embrace on a warm summer day, with the only difference that it wasn’t the sun but the moon that was holding you dear.

Voices whispered in his head, too quiet for him to hear what they were saying, but he somehow knew that they were calling out to him. They were soft and kind, sweet and floaty, dimming his mind and blurring his vision. Drowning out every other sound.

Until a hand on his shoulder suddenly turned him around.

“We’re not here for sight-seeing,” Diluc reprimanded him, cutting through the haze in his mind. He barely spared the moon a single glance before walking straight towards the next stairs.

Kaeya blinked. He had been so enamored by the moon that he had completely forgotten what he was doing. So coming back to reality was like waking up from a beautiful dream.

The whispers in his head were still there, but when he gazed back at the enormous, silver body, he didn’t feel like getting pulled in some kind of daze again.

For a moment, he stared at the round shape. There was something in the back of his mind, something he knew was important, but he couldn’t grasp it. Like when you saw a person you knew you had seen somewhere before but you just couldn’t pinpoint where.

He teared himself away and quickly went to follow Diluc, who was already continuing up the next stairs.

To Kaeya’s surprise, every other floor they went through had such a resplendent moon as well. Every single one of them whispered to him, and while he tried to ignore those voices, they did not stop and did not grow less. If anything, they grew in intensity.

And with every floor they passed, he became surer and surer that every moon they saw and every cloud that floated around it was the same.

Logically, it couldn’t be. Not once did he see them moving up and the stairs weren’t so long nor did they encounter many walls behind which the moon and the clouds could ascend to the next floor without them noticing.

But nevertheless, somehow… The thought alone, that there could be more than one moon, felt wrong. As if some other power implanted specific feelings in him when he thought certain things.

Strange was that it didn’t spook him out. Nor did it spark any kind of fear in him.

Maybe it was an effect the Spiral Abyss had on him. Maybe it had already sensed his decision to become the Heart of the Abyss and…was preparing him for that?

He didn’t know what to think about that possibility.

Finally, they reached the last floor. There were no more stairs, no ladder or tunnel or anything that was pointing upwards. No nothing that seemed to lead anywhere besides the stairs they had just taken.

“Huh. There is nothing here,” Diluc realized while looking around the floor, “I would’ve thought we’d see…” He paused, thinking. Then shrugged. “I don’t know to be honest.”

Kaeya had to agree with him. It had already confused him that they’d only come across stairs that had gone up instead of down. After all, his vision had clearly taken him deep underground. So what was this all about?

“Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t know what to do now either,” he admitted. Just like before, he found himself drawn to the moon, but for the moment, he fought it.

Diluc wasn’t all too happy with his reply. He mumbled something about him having a so-called plan and that trusting him had never been the best idea.

It definitely hurt, but Kaeya really couldn’t blame him for being annoyed. He had said that he had a plan, after all.

Well, he’d kind of had. But that plan had been build on the belief that he’d just know what to do when they’d get where they’d need to go. Which didn’t seem to be the case.

Or wait…

Maybe he did know.

Kaeya turned toward the moon that was once again silently hanging in the sky, beyond the border of the floor and out of reach.

Again, the whispers increased in volume, calling him, extending their hand to him. He felt them asking for him, asking to come closer, and so he did.

Slowly, step by step, he moved on, following the whispers, eye fixed on the moon. Suddenly, it seemed bigger, filling out his entire view, stretching out across the sky.

And then, he understood. The whispers in his head, they weren’t just any whispers. They didn’t belong to the Abyss, they didn’t belong to some mysterious entities.

They came directly from the moon.

Those whispers were the moon’s.

“What do you want to tell me?,” he mumbled softly, eye not once leaving the sight in front of him. He watched it with admiration and amazement, lost in this moment that seemed to extend eternity.

The pure, silver surface sparkled and from one second to the next, he knew.

He blinked. A steady breath left his mouth.

Then, he turned around, facing Diluc, who was still pacing about, trying to figure out what to do now. Kaeya could hear him talking to himself, saying, “This doesn’t make any sense. Why walk all this way when there is just nothing?”

Kaeya walked up to him and before he could really think about his words, they were already slipping from his lips.

“I know what to do.”

The other man looked back at him, skeptically lifting an eyebrow. “Uh, you sure?” Kaeya nodded. “Yes. Stand back, I’m going to blow a hole in the sky.”

“A hole in the- Kaeya, this is bullshit,” Diluc retorted, crossing his arms, “Firstly, this may look like a sky, but it’s obviously not. Secondly, how is that supposed to help us? We can’t just fly up there. We don’t have wings, remember?”

He had expected a reaction like that. Because of course Diluc would never believe that. He had always been the more rational, pragmatic type.

That he had always been one of the fiercest believers of Lord Barbatos didn’t matter.

So Kaeya smirked at him. “Well, that’s true, but who said we have to fly anywhere?” Diluc groaned. “If we’re not supposed to fly, what are we supposed to do then?”

Oh, this was going to be fun.

“We’re going to fall.”

Diluc stared at him incredulously. “Okay, you’ve lost your mind.”

Ignoring his dismissive attitude, Kaeya lifted his head to look up at the ceiling. It did indeed look like a sky and from what the moon had implanted in his mind, it literally could be considered as such.

“Trust me, it makes sense,” Kaeya insisted, stretching out his arm towards the sky, “Against what we thought, we didn’t ascend the Spiral Abyss. We descended.”

He tossed a quick, sly grin over to the other man.

“And now, watch and marvel.”

With those words, he let the power that had accumulated over the past couple of minutes flow through his body. He felt the icy, tingling sensation fill every vein, heard the whispers in his head increasing, until the power then merged in the hand he had risen.

A bright, silver shining beam of light shot out of his hand and toward the sky. It pressed against the firm barrier, stronger and stronger, piercing into it, until finally, the first cracks started to form.

Kaeya supported his arm with the other, panting as he felt the power of the moon feeding of his own energy. He struggled holding the position, but the cracking sound above him strengthened his resolve.

The first blue, glimmering shards started to trickle down. And then, with a loud bang, the sky shattered. The silver beam shot through, opening up a gaping hole and disappearing into the dark.

Kaeya sensed the power residing from his body. At the same time, his head felt somewhat floaty and a second or two later, he lost the ground under his feet.

With a surprised shriek, he and Diluc got sucked up to the hole, directly into the darkness lying behind, following the beam of light.

They tried grabbing each other, but couldn’t reach as the darkness enveloped them completely.

But as soon as they were inside, it no longer felt as if they were sucked up. No, they were actually falling now, falling deeper and deeper for what felt like an eternity.

Until they crashed to the floor.

It was a hard landing, hurting their backs, but despite the deep fall, not one bone was broken. Though Kaeya did not have time to think about why.

From one moment to the next, he felt himself surrounded by an overwhelming amount of abyssal energy. The sweet whispers of the moon were gone, replaced by loud, endless screams that dashed through his mind, bouncing off the walls of his skull. With every hit, they left a dull pain that throbbed in waves, making him groan.

He could literally pinpoint the spots those agonizing screams hit. First the front of his forehead, then shortly over his right ear, the highest point of his head, next to his left eye, and on and on and on.

And between the screams, there were new whispers, nothing like those of the moon. Not at all kind and gentle, but terrifying and unnerving. Their tone was menacing and sickly sweet, and after a moment, Kaeya understood what they were saying.

“What a pitiful sight you are.”

“How worthless you’ve become!”

“You’ve sunken so low. Despicable!”

“No one cares about you. They’d get rid of you the first chance they’d get.”

The words were dripping with disdain. He could hear them smiling, didn’t need to see their faces to know that they were enjoying his pain.

“Why don’t you get rid of them first…?”

“You don’t deserve to live!”

“Give in to your hatred!”

“There is no reason for you to exist anymore.”

“Kill yourself!”

Kaeya groaned, hands gripping his hair. The voices didn’t stop, they kept screeching and whispering, filling him with restlessness and dread.

He tried to move, move away from this torment, but the moment he budged his skin seemed to be catch on fire. Flames crawled up his body, gnawing at him with their sharp teeth and scarring even the tiniest spot.

This wasn’t new to him. None of this. Not the voices screaming and whispering, not the flames eating away at his skin.

At some point in time, the voices and flames had followed him around like malicious stalkers, always in the back of his mind, driving him to lose himself in his work or drown them out with glas after glas after glas of alcohol.

Once, they had even chased him up Starsnatch Cliff, where he had stood on its edge, getting closer step by step. They had prepared him to jump.

He had felt their breath in his neck, like a monster, torturing him until he broke and finally did what it told him to do.

Obviously, he hadn’t jumped then. But only because someone had seen him when he had left the Knight’s Headquarters that day and decided to follow him out of concern.

And this someone had been none other than Jean.

She had caught up with him just in time, unknowingly stopping him from jumping. The voices inside his head had yelled at him to ignore her and die already. That she didn’t actually care about him like she said she did.

And a part of him had still believed them. Had always believed them. But he had turned his back towards the cliff, deciding against doing what the voiced told him to do.

For her sake. Because he hadn’t wanted her to see someone committing suicide right in front of her.

Funny thing is, even today, she knew nothing of her involuntary rescue. Not that she had saved him from certain death by being there, nor that she had dulled out the voices and flames from that moment on.

Thanks to her, his pain had become bearable. Thanks to her, he hadn’t lost his mind.

Of course, the voices had never gone away. They were still there, remembering him of all the lies he had told, of all the people he had failed and that he shouldn’t even be alive anymore.

They were treacherous and vile. Thanks to them, his mind was his biggest enemy.

But they were also the reason why, despite everything, he managed to hold on in this very moment. The voices and the flames, the screeching and the whispering, the burning and the crawling…

They were old friends of his. And like every old friend, they were persisting, but he could see through them. It took a moment, but he was able to steady his breathing. His hands still shook, his body still shivered, and he could still feel and hear everything.

And yet, he lifted his head and blinked, becoming aware of where he was. He couldn’t discern too much because of the darkness aside from the fact that he supposed to have landed in another room.

Though, different to the countless floors they had gone through before, this one seemed to have actual walls. He couldn’t be completely sure without touching them, but they didn’t look like illusions.

As far as he was concerned, they must’ve fallen to the deepest part of the Spiral Abyss. Well, at least he hoped they had. It certainly felt like it, considering the amount of abyssal energy.

The same one that was feeding off his life energy right now, as Kaeya realized not a moment later.

His heartbeat was irregular, and slowly, fatigue began to settle in his bones. Those were bad signs. It showed him all to clear that the concentration of abyssal energy really was way too high. Detrimental. Probably deadly, even.

Kaeya sucked in a pained breath as he felt a searing sting puncture his heart. He crouched, closing his eyes shut. His hand gripped the clothes that lay over his heart, trying to somehow find some kind of release.

It didn’t really help.

“Worthless brat!”

“You are a heartless traitor!”

“Kill yourself! Now!”

Kaeya grit his teeth together. “Shut…up…,” he growled under his breath. His heart stung again, making him bite his lip and draw blood.

He had to calm down and relax or this would get even worse!

“Give in to the pain!”

“Slit your throat!”

Slowly, he shook his head. No, he couldn’t, no matter how delicious those ideas sounded. He wasn’t allowed to give in, he had a task!

So he forced himself to loosen the grip on his clothes. Against his instincts, he let his shoulders drop, opened his mouth to stop his teeth from biting down. He pushed through the voices and focused on his breathing, deep in, deep out, deep in, deep out.

And then, finally, the rest of his muscles eased up and, in the process, lessened the sting in his heart. It was still there, still penetrating it with every single movement, but it didn’t prevent him from anything anymore.

“Kill yourself! Kill yourself kill yourself kill yourself KILL YOURSELF!!”

He tried to pay no mind to that chant.

Instead, he gazed up, letting his eye wander through the room, quickly finding something that looked like a hallway. And as he stared at it, he felt himself drawn, pulled toward it.

This had to be where they needed to-

They.

Diluc.

Fuck.

Diluc had always been the more stable of the two of them. Since they had been kids, he had been confident, strong-minded and stubborn. He had been the one who had decided what they’d play and where they’d go. Always.

It had been the reason why he had become the best knight in Mondstadt’s history. He had never given up, had always stood his ground, no matter what people had thrown at him.

Even on his lowest he had been decisive and fierce and relentless. Kaeya had experienced it first-hand.

But what if such a person was bombarded with a negativity they had never encountered in their whole life?

Kaeya whipped his head around. A few steps away, on his blind side, Diluc cowered on the ground, entire body shaking with brutal force. His hands clung to the fiery red mane, head buried between his arms on the ground.

Immediately, Kaeya crawled over as quick as he could, skidding over the hard floor without any regard for his trousers. His heart contracted painfully, but he ignored it, attention focused solely on Diluc.

When he reached him, he hesitated for but a second before he carefully placed his hand on the man’s back. Diluc flinched under the touch.

“Diluc, hey, it’s me, Kaeya,” Kaeya mumbled, trying to keep down his panic with full force, “I’m here, you hear me? Everything is going to be fine. You’re okay, Diluc, you’re okay. I’m here.”

But Diluc didn’t react to his words. He just whimpered, fingers digging into his hair and tearing at them.

Kaeya swallowed. It looked as if he was going to rip it out.

Never would he ever have thought to see Diluc like this. Trapped by thoughts that weren’t his own, trapped by negativity and words that wanted him to do terrible things.

Trapped in his own mind. Like himself. Like he himself had been so often in the past.

Diluc didn’t deserve this. He was supposed to be the strong one, mentally and physically, and he was supposed to be the one to remind Kaeya why he was here. To support him. Not the other way around. He was the hero, not him.

And if he stayed like this… Kaeya could only imagine what would happen. There was no way he’d make it through.

Carefully, he got hold of Diluc’s wrists and pulled at them, pulled them away from his head. He was strong, the grip he had on his hair was untamed, but in his despair, he had lost some of his strength.

Fingers curled as they were forced to let go, and another whine left Diluc’s lips. Kaeya held his wrists steady, pressing them to the ground, while murmuring his name again.

“Diluc! Diluc! Come on, you can fight those voices! You hear me? You can fight them! I know it! Come on, I believe in you, Diluc!”

The man gasped. Kaeya saw his head lift a little, enough for him to notice his bloody, shaking lip.

“Let…go…,” he managed to utter, barely loud enough for Kaeya to hear him, who shook his head. The screams throbbed and the whispers cut deep, but he didn’t let them drown out his own words.

“No, I will not. Come on, Diluc, make father proud,” Kaeya demanded, “Make me proud, ‘Luc. Fight, just like you fought me. Do it for me, brother.”

He didn’t realize how his voice started to crack until he called Diluc ‘brother’. But it didn’t matter anyway, because as soon as that word had left his mouth, Diluc once again stirred.

“Don’t…call…me that,” he gritted out, eyes blinking heavily, but then they more or less focused on him. Kaeya grinned in relief. “What do you think you’re doing?,” he criticized him playfully, “You scared me there for a sec.”

He let go of his wrists and helped Diluc to get up, which was a difficult endeavor. Both of them were drained and unsteady on their feet, Diluc more than Kaeya, and it was even harder to not collapse again.

And despite his best efforts, it was nearly impossible for Diluc to support his own weight. Kaeya hadn’t even retracted his hands when he already faltered, the minimal stability swept away by another wave of abyssal madness in an instant.

Kaeya had no choice but to keep bracing him, even though he had his own fill to bear. The voices just wouldn’t stop, no matter what he did, and regardless of how used he was to them, the never ending farce was getting to him, too.

Its poison was seeping into his veins, cracking him up from the inside. The air was heavy, making it impossible to breathe, as he held on to Diluc for dear life.

“See that hallway?,” he asked, his voice nearly failing him, “We just need to get through it. That’s all we have to do.” He suppressed a cough. “You think you can do that?”

The rumble that sounded in Diluc’s throat was weak. “I’ll try.”

Kaeya nodded. He couldn’t ask for more than that.

Together, they slowly started moving, dragging their feet across the floor. Every single step was hauntingly long-drawn-out and lengthy, every single movement cost them boundless energy.

“Leave him here to rot!”

“You will never make it!

“He’s just a burden! Kill him now!”

He pressed his lips together, shaking his head. No, he would never abandon Diluc. Never. He would rather die.

“Then die!”

“Kill yourself! He doesn’t want you around anyway!”

With all his might, he pushed the voices away, just like he pushed forward, step by step. Diluc mumbled something unintelligible beside him that Kaeya didn’t care to discern. His sole focus lied on the hallway they were not entering.

But as they went on, trotting along the way, the hallway seemed to shift. Where there had just been a straight floor with straight walls where now curves and waves and circles dancing about in front of their eyes.

Kaeya blinked. It certainly was just an illusion of his mind, no, the Abyss that had nothing to do with the reality. Nothing more than another effect of its power.

But it didn’t feel like it. The hard ground beneath him was cold, the next second hot, and the one after that squashy and sandy at once.

He wanted to puke at the sounds that filled his ears.

But he didn’t. He didn’t stop, he didn’t falter more than he already was. Not even as Diluc stirred again, seemingly waking from his concentration on keeping his body in check.

“Do…you…see that…too?,” questioned quietly. Kaeya didn’t know what he meant, if he saw the same things as he did, if what they were experiencing was all just an illusion or reality. But it didn’t matter.

Diluc didn’t need to know.

So he mumbled, “I do. But it’s just the Abyss playing tricks on us. We have to resist.” His voice had grown slightly raspy along the line.

The other just nodded without saying another word. Which was just as well. They both needed their energy for walking.

And while the voices shouted and whispered, while the walls danced to an eerie song, while the floor changed with every step they took, and while their sense of self started to disperse, Kaeya kept marching on. His head thundered and pulsed with pain, his heart stung and his lung cried, everything seeming to cripple around him, everything but his resolve.

This wasn’t about the throne anymore. This wasn’t about becoming the Heart of the Abyss.

Right now, all that was on his mind was to save Diluc. No matter how often he felt as if hanging upside down or drowning in the sea, stepping on nails. He couldn’t care less.

Until finally, they left the hallway behind them and entered the room on its other side.

Immediately, Kaeya’s gaze was drawn to the thing standing at the end of the room. The thing leaning against the wall, cold as stone, bone-chilling and gut-wrenching.

The throne.

The throne from his vision.

As he was faced with the certainty of it all, Kaeya shook. Suddenly, fear flooded his being. All of a sudden, he didn’t feel so sure anymore.

The whole time, he had worked towards this very moment. To be able to stand in front of this throne and to know that this would be it, that this would be his chance to contribute something to the war.

To do the right thing.

But now…

Now that he was actually here…

He didn’t want to be anymore. The sight, the knowledge, they were terrifying and nerve-wracking. Because he didn’t know what would happen if he sat down on this throne.

Would he die? Would he become a new person? Would he stop being a person and somehow ascend to a new form of life?

How would it feel? Would it hurt? Would he forget who he was? Would his appearance change? Would he have to stay here for the rest of his life, maybe even for eternity, to rule over the Abyss?

Would it even work? Would the Abyss listen to him? Or would it control him instead? Would he be just its toy to do with as it pleased?

His breath shortened. He didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to find out. All of this had been a terrible mistake. He shouldn’t be here, he shouldn’t be doing any of this. He really shouldn’t. This was wrong, so wrong, he didn’t want to become something else!

And who cared about the consequences anyway? Not him, that was for sure! Fuck it, he deserved to be selfish - not really, no, but he wanted to be selfish so goddamn much!

He backed away.

Or at least wanted to. But he could barely move. And as he looked down, there he was, Diluc, still clinging on to him, just like Kaeya was clinging on to him.

And then he remembered.

He wasn’t doing this for himself. He was doing this to protect the people he cared about. Such as Diluc, and Jean. And all the other people of Mondstadt, oh, and even outside of Mondstadt.

Klee, Eula, Amber, Lisa, Collei, Albedo, Sucrose, Mika, the Traveler - even though they definitely didn’t need him to protect them -, Paimon, Layla, Razor…

Venti.

But most importantly, Diluc. The one that was currently hanging at his arm, barely able to stand because of the wicked abyssal energy around them.

If he controlled the Abyss, he could control the abyssal energy in this room.

As soon as he realized this, every other question, every concern and fear, dissipated into nothingness. He lifted his head, once again facing the throne, sensing the pull.

He breathed in and out.

Without breaking eye-contact with the throne, he let go of his hold on Diluc, who didn’t fully appear to recognize what was happening right now. He just mumbled something under his breath that Kaeya didn’t hear.

Taking a single step was hard work. Not because of the voices or any of the other effects the abyssal energy had on him. But because his body still didn’t want to go near the throne. His legs told him to run, it was now or never, though his heart knew what he needed to do.

His decision was set in stone.

But he didn’t get far, as he was stopped by a hand taking hold of his wrist, lightly tugging him backwards. He didn’t budge since there wasn’t much strength behind the pull, but he did turn around.

Diluc met his gaze.

“Kaeya, s-top!,” he hissed. He was barely standing, sweat dripping from his face due to the enormous power he needed to keep himself from tumbling to the ground. “It’s…too dan-gerous…”

“Let me go, I know what I’m doing.”

But Diluc shook his head. “You s-said you…don’t have a…plan…,” he insisted, voice not at all possessing the vigor and force it normally held.

“No, I said that I can’t tell you my plan,” Kaeya argued, “That’s a difference!” He pulled his arm, trying to get out of Diluc’s grip. At first, carefully, taming his strengt. He didn’t want him to fall. Not in this state.

But he was strong enough to force Diluc to take a step forward. He saw short panic rush over his face, felt his hand slip on his skin, and yet, he held on.

Why did he have to be so stubborn? Couldn’t he just trust him for once? Trust that he was doing the right thing?

And as if he hadn’t heard, Diluc choked out, “You…can’t just…”

“…run headlong into things?,” Kaeya completed the sentence, starting to get frustrated, “I told you, I’m not! I’ll become the Heart of the Abyss!”

“The Heart-“ He couldn’t finish his sentence. Kaeya withdrew his arm with such force that Diluc lost his footing. His legs gave in and he slumped to the floor, knees hitting the hard floor.

Kaeya made a painful grimace. He hadn’t meant to use Diluc’s heavy suffering against him, but he didn’t have any choice. “I’m sorry, but you didn’t want to let me go.” He turned around, moving to get to the throne.

Behind him, Diluc weakly groaned. “This…is…nonsense…,” he managed to get out.

Hearing these words made something inside him snap. His sanity was already waining from the voices and emotions, nerves stretched thin by his breakdown and the war, the stress, the fear, the pain, just everything that was going on.

He was done acting as if he wasn’t faced by the endless torment! He was done with cheeky jokes and smart comments!

So he whirled around, hair flying through the air as he locked eyes with Diluc, glaring at him with all his bottled up feelings leaking from his words.

“Nonsense?!,” he panted, sounding more crazy and desperate than he had anticipated, “No. Don’t you understand? Becoming the Heart of the Abyss means having full control over it! This is my chance to for once do the right thing in my life! I can finally make my own choice, without my father or anyone else having a say in it.”

He blinked away the tears. A lump had formed in his throat that made hindered him to speak. It stuck there like a barrier, as if it didn’t want him to speak or even breathe.

But he managed to swallow it. “And without having to hurt the ones that I care about,” he added quietly, turning around immediately so he didn’t have to see how Diluc reacted to those words.

Quickly, he marched over to the throne, not letting him be stopped by Diluc’s confused, probably delirium-induced reply.

“The hell…you…saying…?”

It was barely more than a croak and Kaeya did his best to not hear it. He couldn’t get even more distracted by him. Because what was he doing, monologuing unnecessarily when there was no time?

And no good reason to either. He wasn’t a hero saying his last goodbye - at least, he hoped it wouldn’t be - or a villain explaining his evil masterplan.

Ugh, stupid Inazuma light novels.

Annoying at himself, he shook his head. Instead of thinking about that, he focused on the throne in front of him, gazing over the seat he’d be sitting on in a few moments.

He couldn’t tell what it was made of, nor what color it was. Somehow, many different colors had blended together and formed a completely new one that shouldn’t even exist, but at the same time, he could recognize every single one that had flown into the mix.

Unsure, he stretched out on hand. It got closer and closer, but before it touched the throne, Kaeya stopped. His hand hovered a few centimeters over the armrest, shaking enormously.

His breath hitched and he quickly retreated his hand. He let his arms hang down on his sides where fingernails nervously scratched the skin of his palm.

This was it. The moment he’d been working towards.

He once again faced Diluc, who was still kneeling on the ground, hands placed down to support his weight, breath going slow and heavy.

“I’m sorry, Diluc.”

Said man looked up. There was something in his eyes that Kaeya couldn’t decipher. He was closed off, just like always, unreadable and cold.

With the only difference that he was obviously still in pain.

“You deserved better than this,” Kaeya asserted, with one hand slightly gesticulating towards himself, “Better than all these lies. I just…” He licked his dry lips. “…never knew how to stop.”

Lowering his gaze to the floor, he sank down on the throne. His hands got hold of the armrests, settling on them, before the rest of his body followed.

And the moment he fully sat down, happened that he had not seem coming.

Suddenly, Kaeya sensed thousands of eyes opening up and staring at him. He could feel them on every part of his body, analyzing the smallest details and looking down on him as if they had expected someone else.

As if they had expected to see a strong and magnificent king.

It made him want to apologize, to stand back up again to make room for the person that was supposed to sit on this throne instead.

But before he could even take his next breath, the eyes had disappeared, leaving behind a creepy emptiness. His gut turned at the thought. Who could’ve just watched him? Or…what?

Celestia?

The Abyss Order?

An Archon?

The previous owner of this throne?

He had no idea and no time to further contemplate, as that very throne beneath him began to pulsate. The seat started to heat up in regular intervals and it seemed to him as if it would raise and lower him any moment.

But that did not happen. Every time the heat surged, he was ready to be lifted up, could already feel the seat shift, but then its temperature sank again.

As if it was mirroring the human breathing.

Just when he had that thought, the air in the room changed. Thick, dark lilac fog appeared out of nowhere, clouding his view on the exhausted, lightly coughing Diluc, though he didn’t seem to notice a thing. Not even when he was completely engulfed in those cloud did he react in any way.

Kaeya’s fingers clawed to the armrests. That could only mean that the fog was abyssal energy. And he could see it because he was sitting on this throne, resonating with the Abyss itself.

As he watched the fog, it slowly started moving towards him, in rhythm with the pulsating from the throne.

So if the throne was actually breathing… It had to be sucking in the abyssal energy around them. Because its new ruler - no, Heart - had just sat down on his throne.

More and more fog gathered around his legs, freeing the room of its influence. But it didn’t just seem to be movable, no, it was also moving by itself.

Kaeya’s breath hitched as sharp claws stabbed his legs, digging deep into skin. He could picture the way they ripped open his trousers’ fabric and struck long, ugly wounds.

Even so, there was no feeling of blood spilling out of the supposed injury. Just the claws being pulled out and slapped right back in atop its first inflicted wound.

He bit down on his lower lip, trying to muffle the pain. Diluc shouldn’t worry, he had his own problems to deal with. And besides, he knew pain. Pain was his best friend. He loved pain.

Though this one wasn’t as relieving as usual. It was distressing and disturbing, every sting came with a searing coldness that contrasted immensely with the heat he felt on the seat.

Both temperatures spilled into his veins, freezing and burning them, and as soon as they mixed, they whirled together in a storm, causing waves of tingling sensations to spread all through his body. It made him grimace and throw his chest forward in discomfort.

More and more claws climbed up his legs as the abyssal power wriggled him up in circles. They traveled to his thighs, switching to his hands that clenched at the contact.

Kaeya believed to see how some of the fog entered him. Dark lines emerged from his insides, stretching over the back of his hand over his wrist and up his arms, further and further, making panic rise in him.

Was this supposed to happen? What did this even mean? Why did this happen? What was he supposed to do?

Countless questions filled his head, but he could just watch as the lines flowed through his skin like little, devilish snakes meaning to corrupt him.

It was when the claws reached his chest that he felt their effects on the inside of him. The snakes wrapped around his lungs, forming a knot, squeezing it hard, while slimy tentacles wormed right through it.

In spite of that, his breath quickened, chest rising and falling too fast. Everything felt tight, his throat, his lungs, but there was so much air in his body, too much to handle, too much to process.

Another squeeze around his lungs and he coughed it out, dragged over his tongue like broken glass. His eyes teared up from the razor-sharp pain, burning his irises, unable to escape.

All of a sudden, a voice broke the heavy silence.

“Kaeya, get down-!”

He didn’t even realize what was going on until some sort of bubble materialized around him. A dull noise, and he blinked, eye focusing on Diluc banging against the bubble.

“What in Lord Barbatos’ name-!”

Every hit made the affected spot light up, but otherwise, Diluc’s attempts were useless.

The man groaned in frustration.

“Ugh, Kaeya! Kaeya, get down from that, now!,” he demanded angrily, slamming against the shielding bubble over and over again. But all he did was make it light up, just like before.

Kaeya shook his head. It hounded a slighting slash into his chest.

“Forget it!,” he snapped, “I’m not giving this up!”

He could see it all over Diluc’s face. How he didn’t like his answer, how much he would’ve liked to just haul him away from the throne and back to camp.

And his words made it even clearer. “You’re such an idiot!!” Another bang against the bubble, another exasperated snot. “Don’t listen to the voices in your head! You said it yourself, it’s the Abyss playing tricks on you!”

The Abyss playing-

That’s what he thought??

“You don’t-!”

“Shut up!,” Diluc interrupted him rudely, “Whatever they tell you, they’re lying! You don’t need the power of the Abyss to make your own choices or whatever!” He bared his teeth. “That’s bullshit!”

A ringing in Kaeya’s ears, disrupting his thoughts and ripping his mind apart.

For a moment, he was lost in endless ignorance, unable to comprehend even the simplest of things. Every word he had ever learned, disassembled into billions of pieces and tossed out like trash.

And seconds later they were back, without a one missing and without him able to understand any of what he had just witnessed.

As if driven by an unknown force, he resumed the conversation with barely any delay.

“I’m not doing this for power! And the voices have nothing to do with this! I’m just-“ He searched for words, this time not hindered by them being ripped apart. “I have to do this! I’m the only one who can!”

It sounded dramatic and over the top, but who cared?

Diluc scoffed. His eyes turned to small slits, cutting away all, threatening to do everything to get his answer.

“Oh really?” His voice was dripping with content, but also something akin to disappointment. “If that’s so, then why did you want me to come with you?! You didn’t need me!”

How wrong he was, oh how wrong he was! Diluc couldn’t even begin to comprehend in how many ways Kaeya needed him!

A sickly bitterness wetted his stomach as the tentacles revolted, feeding off the volatile energy coursing in his veins. He heard them screech in his ears and tasted their hunger, agitating him further.

“Wrong! I was afraid I’d change my mind! I needed the person I’m trying to protect here with me! To remind me!”

The words were out before he could stop them. They tumbled over his lips and whirled through the room, hitting Diluc directly in the face.

“W-what…?”

Kaeya choked on the claws of fog that had reached his mouth. “Heh, speechless?,” he pressed out, hands once again clasping for something to hold on to as they jabbed the tender tissue, burying its hooks inside.

Diluc hesitated for what felt like an eternity. “Why me? Why would you want to…protect me?”

Always asking the right questions.

Kaeya couldn’t deal with the overload of information. He couldn’t hide his pain and emotions at once when both were so heavily leaking.

“Because I never stopped caring. Even when I tried to.”

“But I…I tried to kill you…,” Diluc whispered with an expression of pure confusion and denial and sadness.

It could’ve broken every bone of Kaeya’s body.

Though it felt like as if the abyssal power was already trying to do just that. It was gnawing at every muscle and bone, roaring in his ears, overturning and corrupting every cell.

Memories flashed before his inner eyes, fading into a single one. Tentacles gripped and consumed them whole, sending waves of energy into his veins, making his heartbeat go haywire, jumping in his chest, splashing in all directions.

“You had every right to do so. And I don’t expect you to forgive me. Not when I deserved it…” He lowered his head, ignoring the dizziness.

Diluc swallowed audibly. “Kaeya…”

“I just wanted you to see me.”

His words echoed through the room like an enchantment. Like a sacred, but forbidden spell. Even when he had long since said them, they were still there, bouncing off the walls and in their heads.

The silence that followed was nerv-wrecking and tormenting.

With raspy, strained voice Kaeya added, “That I’m not just a liar but-“

One moment he was talking, the next he was pulled back with otherworldly force. His back crashed into the rigid frame of the throne before he was catapulted out of his body.

The next thing he knew, everything had turned to nothing but white.

He was no longer sitting but standing and so he spun around himself just like the whirlwind of panic that now coursed through him.

But he couldn’t see anything else than white white white, endless white in every direction. And no sound far and wide, not even the steps he took, just the roaring of his own heartbeat.

“ Would you look at that?

Kaeya froze.

Another Alberich seizing power.

A laugh. Kaeya shivered.

Your Clan has always been quite ambitious.

Yet again, he gazed around, trying to figure out where the voice was coming from. But it seemed as if it was coming from everywhere at once and the echo that accompanied it gave it a sinister undertone.

Kaeya tried to breathe.

What the hell was going on? Where was he? And who was this voice? Why did it speak to him? What did it want with him? How did it know his surname??

As the panic threatened to take over his every sense, he shook his head. He wasn’t allowed to make fear cloud his mind.

Another deep breath, then he asked, “Who are you…?”

This time, the voice, obviously male-sounding as Kaeya concluded, chuckled.

Don’t be afraid, little Alberich. I’m a friend, here to guide you on the right path.

Friend? Guide? Right path?

Somehow, he got the impression that, whoever that voice belonged to, had to be pretty full of themselves. Yes, it was still eerie and uncanny, but what it had told him just now…

It felt very familiar, basically dripping with arrogance.

He crossed his arms. That deduction made him somewhat more confident. “Funny of you to assume I need your guidance,” he retorted.

There was a slight breeze in his neck when the voice spoke again.

You might not need it right now, but I can help you reach your full potential. There is a grand and magnificent future waiting for you, you know.

It seemed to know him better than he’d thought. A grand and magnificent future? Oh, what a nice thought that was.

“With all due respect, which is none, I think you forgot one teeny tiny detail: I’m a lost cause,” Kaeya explained with his usual swagger, though a little melancholy mixed in, “There is nothing anyone can do to change that. So get out of my head and back to where you came from, if you would.”

Oh? So you prefer going back to eternal hatred and disgust from the people you care about?

Kaeya jolted, confident posture cracking.

“What? No! I-“

He was immediately cut off.

You think becoming the Heart of the Abyss will change how the people of Mondstadt think of you, but do you really expect them to care?!

Where there had been arrogance and unperturbed self-confidence, there was now only detest and disdain.

In their eyes, you will never be anything else than a monster!!”

Images flashed before his eyes. Images of faces contorted with fear, expressions of pure loathing and eyes that held no sympathy anymore.

And he could hear the whispers in his ears, how they discussed between themselves what they thought of him. How much they despised him, how much they regretted ever asking for his help. Even once had been too often.

Kaeya stumbled back. The images vanished and he was left in the white endlessness, alone.

“I… But…”

He didn’t know what he wanted to say. Couldn’t get out anything but shaky little words that meant nothing and got lost in the emptiness of his existence.

And you alone are to blame for that!!

He was, wasn’t he?

All the lies he had told, the life he had build, trying to escape his past. All along, he had been nothing but a wolf in sheep’s clothing, deceiving everyone around him.

But…

But he hadn’t wanted that! His father was to blame for that!

“I’m not a bad person!,” he argued, voice thin. Thousands and thousands of eyes that pierced his skin, demanding him to be honest.

“I…think…”

The echoing voice scoffed.

How laughable! No one will be believe you with that attitude. No one will ever trust you, whatever you do! No one will ever like you again!

He knew it was nothing but the truth. The voice was right with everything. He could’ve been different, should’ve been, but he hadn’t.

And it was his fault and his fault alone.

Kaeya felt his legs give in. Slowly, as if in a trance, he sank to the floor.

“… No, they won’t…,” he whimpered, head toward the ground, eyes unfocused, “They really hate me…”

For a moment, there was silence. As if the voice wanted to give him space, or just let him suffer in absolute stillness.

But when it sounded again, it was soft and sweet, like a warm embrace by a caring mother that loved her child despite all its failures.

But you don’t have to be alone in this. I am here for you, Kaeya.

As he heard his name, he carefully perked up, somehow expecting the person this voice belonged in front of him, gently cradling his chin.

I will never leave you alone, no matter what.

He could hear the loving smile and could nearly feel the way a hand caressed his cheek. Wanted to give in, wanted to lean against it, but he knew he didn’t deserve it.

Never could.

His breath shook as his head sank again.

“But I…don’t deserve that…”

A soft hum. Hopeful, fond and tender.

Not yet you don’t, but different to everyone else who have forsaken you, I see your potential.

So devoted, it nearly broke his heart. He felt slight dread boil under his skin, in a weird way, unfitting in this situation.

No, it did fit. The voice was so loving, so caring, so gracious with him, while he didn’t deserve it. Compassionate, even. And it made him feel awful for all he had done wrong in his entire life.

Another sweet breeze that kindly tickled him behind his ear.

You don’t need them, Kaeya. What you need are people who were just like you.

He perked up.

“People like me?”

An invisible nod.

Yes, people like you. Outcasts who rose up to accomplish the impossible. A powerful group you would fit right in.

A wink.

Kaeya felt a warmth spread through his body.

“That…sounds nice.”

It did. It really did. And if it were people like him… They would be accepting. They would not cast him out. Would not let him fall. Because they had been just like him.

Somehow though… There was a small feeling, a quiet voice inside of him. Telling him that this was too good to be true.

It does, doesn’t it?

The voice sounded rather playful. Kaeya could sense it circling him, spreading a smile on his face, so he pushed the creeping doubt away.

Don’t you think you deserve to be loved the way you are? Don’t you think you deserve to not be judged for every. little. thing? I think so. And you know why?

“N-no…?”

Because you are special.

Special? Him? He knew he was different, especially in all the wrong ways, but special?

“I am?”

A kiss on his cheek, as light as a feather.

Very much so. And so charming and smart as well. Smart enough to make the right decision. I know you want to join us, Kaeya.

The right decision…

Something tugged at him from within.

You just need to say it.

Kaeya blinked. The right decision.

The right decision could only be to join that group. It was the best decision. He didn’t want to be alone anymore, didn’t want to be an outcast, didn’t want to the hated. Maybe they could teach him how to do better.

Another tug. It stung, just a little. Made him hesitate, just for a moment.

“Everything hurts,” he mumbled, remembering the fear and hatred and disgust that he’d had to face, “The way they look at me, and what they say…

He swallowed.

“I don’t want to hide anymore. I don’t want to be the bad guy.”

I know, Kaeya. I know. We can make your pain disappear.

Kaeya opened his mouth. It sounded good. Perfect, even.

The right decision.

For a moment, the silence stretched infinitely.

Until it was broken.

“Kaeya!! KAEYA!!”

Diluc’s voice shattered his trance. Its impact tore cracks into the white space, shaking the illusion of endless nothingness.

Kaeya blinked. Gasped.

“Diluc…!,” he whispered.

Another penetrating call, impaling the whiteness and nearly knocking Kaeya over. “Kaeya!! Can you hear me?? Snap out of it, Kaeya!! Kaeya!!”

The echoing voice rumbled.

Don’t listen to him!! , it barked, tone furious and demanding. Kaeya thought to even hear panic hidden away in a corner. For a moment, felt sorry for the person behind the voice.

“Diluc, he-!”

But it interrupted him.

He doesn’t care about you! No one does! NO ONE EXCEPT US!! , it spit with such spite Kaeya was taken aback. He felt something inside of him change, hatred rising to the surface.

Hatred for this voice. Hatred for its plan to keep him away from Diluc. Diluc, the most important person in his entire life.

One of the only people he could never abandon.

And whose voice once again broke through the crumbling space, reaching him with a force that infused him with strength to get up from the ground.

“KAEYA!! ANSWER ME!!”

Kaeya stared into the distance, glaring up at the cracking walls, hoping to somehow find his way into the voice’s eyes.

“You know who doesn’t care?,” he hissed, “Me! I don’t! I don’t care who you are but you can’t make me abandon Diluc! So what if he hates me?! I don’t hate him and that’s all that matters!!”

But I can help you-!

Kaeya clenched his hands to fists. “I said, I. DON’T. CARE!! And now fuck off!!”

A loud growl echoed through the white space. It was filled with pure venom.

ARGH!! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!!!

The next moment, everything around him exploded. Kaeya screamed as he was thrown around, flying through the air, before he crashed back into his body.

His head snapped forwards, causing a wave of pain to erupt within him, stars and various spots clouding his vision.

The first thing he heard was Diluc’s voice.

“Kaeya?? Are you back?”

He furiously blinked, chasing away the stars and spots until he could finally see again. In front of him was Diluc, worry written all over his face, though it lit up when he realized his eye focusing.

Kaeya swallowed. “I- uh- I think so…,” he muttered. His heart was flattering at an exhilarated rate, pounding in his ears. He breathed in and out, trying to calm it down, while Diluc asked, “What just happened?”

He shrugged. “I’m…not sure… There was a voice, trying to manipulate me.” Carefully, he gazed directly at Diluc.

Was it okay to say what he was going to say? If he hadn’t looked so concerned, he never would’ve even considered. But he deserved to know, didn’t he?

“If it wasn’t for you, I…” A short moment of doubt. He lowered his head and for the first time, he noticed Diluc’s hands holding his own.

“It probably would’ve succeeded.”

Diluc coughed.

“Oh, uh…” He cleared his throat and pulled away his hands. It seemed he had also only now remembered that he was still holding Kaeya’s hand. “Well, that’s…good to hear, I guess…”

Both avoided the other’s gaze, scared of the emotions they had just graced upon. It was dangerous territory, able to rip open old wounds.

And considering what Kaeya had said right before he had been pulled into that white space… How could they even touch on that?

But before the awkwardness could stretch too long, wind started to blow. It toyed around their legs, ruffling their hair und caressing their cheeks. Kaeya was already on high alert again, fearing the voice might try again.

Though that was not the case. Because completely out of the blue, a figure appeared right next to him.

“The voice belonged to Vedrfolnir, one of the five Sinners of Khaenri’ah,” it said while still being constructed by the gentle breezes that had suddenly appeared.

Kaeya flinched, staring at the figure in disbelief. “Wha-“

It looked so familiar for some reason. The hair, the face, the eyes that each were graced with a shining star. His body was adorned with Khaenri’ahn clothes that sparked uncertainty in Kaeya, but his smile…

Somehow, it put him at ease. And when he spoke again, it resonated with his deepest self as if he was connected to that person by an invisible bond.

“They divided amongst each other a power that could destroy the world.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Diluc leaning forward, suspiciously glaring in the vaguely same direction that he was staring in.

“Kaeya, everything okay?,” he questioned, “Do you hear the voice again?”

He shook his head slowly, without taking his eye off the person he was looking at. “Wait a moment…,” he mumbled, and when he heard his own voice, he realized.

The person sounded like him.

Not exactly like him, of course. He had a certain rasp to his voice that was constantly giving it a little edge, but this person… This guy…

His voice did not have this edge. His was soft and smooth, without any irregularities. Perfect, even.

“Vedrfolnir sensed you becoming the Heart the moment you sat down on the throne and concluded you to be a potential danger to them if not on their side. So, he tried to manipulate you into joining them. But as you guessed correctly, he didn’t succeed.”

Vedrfolnir… One of the five Sinners of Khaenri’ah…

It was difficult to process the information, but he was pretty sure he at least got the gist of it.

And he was also pretty sure that should’ve had millions and millions of questions, but there was only one circling his mind right now.

“And who are you?”

Somewhere, he heard Diluc ask, “Who is who??” But he ignored it.

The person nodded gracefully. He seemed so much older than he looked, eyes holding eternal sadness and grief, while at the same time, childish naivety shone through.

“You’re asking the right questions. My name is Caribert Alberich, son of Clothar Alberich, the founder of the Abyss Order.”

Kaeya gasped for air.

The one in front of him… Looking at him like kindness personified… He was an ancestor of his…? The son of the founder of the Abyss Order? The one Dainsleif had told him about…?

And the similarities, paired with the huge contrasts…

He wanted to ask how he could be here, how he could appear in this form, but he didn’t need to. The winds that playfully danced around him, around them both, was answer enough.

“Thank you…,” he whispered, not knowing if he was talking to Caribert or Venti.

With a smile, he turned towards Diluc. “Sorry, I’m fine. Just…” He softly exhaled. “…some ancestor ghost.” He chuckled at the flabbergasted expression on Diluc’s face.

But then pain ripped through him like a lightning bolt, shaking his entire body and making him fall forwards. He bended over, groaning in agony, as he had completely forgotten about the process of becoming the Heart.

From one moment to the next, everything was back, all at once. The claws shredding his skin, the tentacles squeezing his lungs and heart, the snakes and the storm of frost and heat.

All of it resumed to torture him, nearly drowning out Diluc’s voice when he called his name.

But not completely.

Kaeya immediately intercepted him. The pain didn’t hinder him to speak, even though his throat shrieked when he did.

“I won’t change my mind!,” he ground out between clenched teeth, fighting the abyssal effects with all his might, “This will change the course of the war and-“

This time, Diluc interrupted him.

“-you’re the only person who can do this, I get it!,” he barked and it would’ve made Kaeya jolt if it weren’t for the seething explosions that destroyed every ounce of his inner body.

Diluc sighed. His voice was strained when he spoke again. “I don’t like this, I really don’t, but…” A short pause. “If you say you want to do this, fine. I just hope it’ll be worth it.”

Their gazes met. Kaeya’s heart jumped as he understood the implications behind those words. The trust Diluc had just placed in him, trust he had thought would never again receive.

Relief washed over him and he nodded at the redhead with an actual, genuine smile, despite the pain he was in.

“It will be, I promise,” he assured him. Diluc stared a moment before placing his hand on Kaeya’s, nodding back. His eyes glinted in a gentle, caring light that warmed his heart.

“Then don’t you dare lose yourself. I only just got used to this new you.”

The softness of his voice nearly killed him.

“I’ll try.”

He breathed in and out deeply. Took another look at Diluc. Then, and only then, did he allow his body to stop fighting and gave in to the Abyss.

In mere seconds, it took over control of him. Kaeya gasped as he felt his insides ignite in a blazing fire, slashing everything in its wake, taking down thoughts and mind, every knowledge he had ever gained.

All burned to ash and as he burst open his mouth, screaming in silence when he had forgotten every sound he had ever heard, the heat was pushed out of his body.

Coldness enveloped him, lightning flashed, and his thoughts and mind, all the knowledge he had ever gained, were pulled together once again. The rose up from the ashes, spiking with new energy and forced back together.

Sound returned to memories, slithering into his ears all at once. Roaring, shrieking, ringing, raging, screaming, crying, whispering, thundering…

And all the while, he felt the flames reach his face and how they cracked open every eyelash.

Worming fingers gripped his flesh, turning it around, painting it with poison. His very being was shred away and reconstructed, as though he were a mere toy.

Every scar pulsed, the throne breathed into him another wave of liquid fire, too much for his heart to take, numbness spread, getting bigger in him, with every second, and he should explode into million pieces.

He didn’t, but the foreign pressure cut every bit of sanity away.

Then, he lost idea of what was up and down, his head ripped from his body, and for a moment, he flew through time and space.

Something inside him twitched and crawled, the skin around his eye thickening, like something was nesting under it. Something that didn’t belong there, shadows or some new power.

You will do great, my child.

Kaeya, barely perceiving anything anymore, knew that voice by heart. He’d heard it before, on this day, though until now, he had never been able to understand what it was saying.

A blink, a second in which his eye was closed.

A silver glint, a mystical, round body in the sky.

He felt power flowing into his fingertips, mingling with his entire existence. Becoming one with him.

And he knew.

He had become the Heart of the Abyss.