Archive of Our Own ^beta

–– February 15, 2007 ––

“Thanks for walking me back,” Elle says as she walks next to Emmett on the way back to her dorm. Her arms are crossed and she rubs them slightly for a moment, the February chill of Massachusetts still new to her. 

Emmett notices and for a moment considers offering her his jacket. He’s used to this kind of weather, anyway, and doesn’t mind it that much. But he sees how close they are to her building and ultimately decides against it. He’s been hyper-aware of his actions all night, making sure he doesn’t say or do anything that would make Elle uncomfortable. It’s the real reason why he insisted on only having one drink. He wasn’t much of a drinker regardless, but it seemed to be the best option to not get carried away.

“My pleasure,” he responds effortlessly. 

Although it was Thursday, Professor Callahan had preemptively cancelled class for the whole week. Taking on a murder trial had skewed his duties temporarily, which meant putting an emphasis on his primary career instead of being a professor. Emmett was grateful, since his responsibilities shifted to being the co-council on the case instead of grading papers. Now, though, he was feeling more grateful on Elle’s behalf. He wouldn’t have blamed her if she skipped class. Hell, he probably wouldn’t have shown up either. 

Regardless, no Criminal Law 101 on Friday meant that the interns felt like there was more of a cause to celebrate Elle’s victory. Brooke had happily offered to take the entire team— minus Callahan— out for drinks. Warner had shown up but left halfway through his first drink, leaving Emmett alone with the girls. He didn’t mind that much, anyway. Part of the evening was spent briefly catching up with some guys that had been part of his graduating class and were now working at their respective law firms. It wasn’t often he had a night out on the town, and seeing Elle succeeding was definitely reason enough to break his general reclusiveness.

The walk back had mostly been silent, the two of them going back and forth from the conversation that Brooke, Enid, and Vivienne were having as they left. It had fizzled out eventually, but that was just moments ago. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, and Emmett appreciated that. It gave him time to think. 

“I don’t think I ever thanked you,” she starts up again suddenly. “Everything you did back in court… you were amazing.” Emmett shoots her a confused glance with a small scoff.

“ You were amazing,” he replies. “You won the trial. You saved Brooke’s life! I didn’t do anything.”

“Oh please,” Elle laughs. “I couldn’t have done it without you. Any of this.” Emmett shrugs and looks down at his feet as they walk up the stairs to the main entrance.

“Seriously, though,” she continues, her tone turning completely sober. “Brooke and Vivienne both told me it was your idea. And you standing up to Callahan like that, being my supervising attorney… I’d be back in California right now if it wasn’t for you.”

Emmett couldn’t help but smile at her words. He knew she was right, but he didn’t want to admit it. He was the one who let Brooke know what was going on earlier this morning. She’d wanted Elle specifically on the team, and her mind was set on firing Callahan instantly. No one really knew what to do, until he remembered the supreme judicial court ruling that might save them. Thank God for Professor Stromwell and her extra credit assignments. He would’ve had no idea about that if it wasn’t for her. Plus, he was also the only one to know that Elle wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye to Paulette at The Hair Affair. Vivienne had quickly offered to be the one to go and talk to her, which surprised Emmett given their history. He only knew that he’d failed at convincing her last night, and there was no reason for her to listen to him again.

“I’m glad you didn’t go,” he responds. “Harvard wouldn’t be the same without you. You’re the best thing about this place,” Emmett looks forward as he carries on up the stairs, but notices how Elle shoots him a look out of the corner of his eye. He pretends not to notice.

By the time they arrive at her dorm door, Emmett remembers their conversation just last night. He thought about how he was going to tell her how he felt and how quickly the situation flew off the rails. It wasn’t the right time. Telling her anything then would’ve left her confused and torn– no matter if she felt the same way or not. He decided that today was no different. She just experienced her first trial win as a first-year law student . He didn’t want to take that away.

The little puppy crush he’d had on her within the first few weeks of the semester slowly developed into real feelings. But she’d been so focused on Warner until Christmas break that he knew he realistically never stood a chance. There were moments, especially in the past few weeks, that he thought might be signs of reciprocation. But they were quickly shot down by Elle’s frequent use of the word “friend.”

His lack of experience when it came to love was another factor. Understanding signals wasn’t necessarily his strong suit and putting time into a relationship was something he constantly struggled with. He’d been way too focused on his studies and proving himself worthy of an associate title to worry too much about a love life. Picking up a second job the summer before law school was precisely why his then-girlfriend broke up with him. Maybe he just wasn’t cut out for romance.

“Thank you again. Really,” Elle says, turning her back to her door to face him. “You were the first person to take me seriously.”

Emmett shrugged in response, not really knowing what to say. She took a half-step forward and hugged him, catching him off guard. He was slightly hesitant as he reciprocated but ultimately relaxed and just let it happen, reciprocating the gesture. Somehow this time felt different than every other time they’ve hugged. He wasn’t sure if it was more meaningful or more acceptable, 

It was there that Emmett started to accept his position in Elle’s life. He was her friend. He couldn’t be prouder of the newfound confidence she found in herself just over a month ago. If that was where Elle wanted him to be, then he’d be happy to oblige. Supporting her in any way that he could and watching her succeed was a million times more important than some stupid feelings he had. Maybe he was in love with her. Maybe he wanted something more. But Elle was going to go far, and some stupid feelings were all that got in the way of seeing where she went, he wasn’t going to let that happen. He would eventually get over the feelings he had now and would always be there for her no matter what. As her friend.

And he was okay with that.

Elle started to pull away, her hands lingering on his shoulders for a moment. He flashed her a small smile as she looked up at him, feeling like it was somewhat forced as he waited for her to say goodbye. In one swift movement, she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. It all happened so quickly that Emmett didn’t even get a chance to respond. Before he could react coherently, Elle had backed away, said something like “See you on Monday”, and then closed the door to her dorm. 

He didn’t know what that meant. 

–– February 22, 2007 ––

The following Thursday had been the most normal day of the past few weeks. With the trial and his responsibilities shifting for a moment, Emmett was able to put his teaching assistant duties on the side. Now he was back to tasks he was used to. Monday had been the start of Callahan’s indefinite suspension from teaching while an investigation from the Title IX office occurred. As the TA for his only class, Emmett was asked to cover until a decision had been made.

He’d accepted, of course, because he was slightly paranoid at the time that a gap on his resume would look pretty bad when he eventually started to apply to other firms. It was relieving after he remembered that his TA position was through the university instead of Callahan’s firm, so he’d be able to keep working for the rest of the school year. Being a TA alone didn’t pay particularly well, but the paychecks he’d built up as a part-time associate would be able to help him get by. Still, quitting on the spot meant his only solid job opportunity moving forward was no longer available, and he’d have to get on finding another one soon.

Monday had been chaotic as he figured out a lecture plan and how to teach it fairly last minute. He hadn’t been completely blindsided since he’d covered for a handful of classes previously, but the request springing on him so quickly that it threw him off. Tuesday was spent preparing for Wednesday and catching up on the grading and other housekeeping duties that had been put on the back burner while the trial wrapped up. It wasn’t until last night as he was trying to go to sleep that he realised he’d missed out on the past three days of study sessions with Elle. They had fallen into such a routine that neither of them ever had to confirm if they were meeting that night or not, which made him feel extra guilty for not letting her know.

Emmett had spent most of the day making sure Friday’s lecture was in order and that grading was up to date so that he could go and check in on her. Since he usually spent Tuesdays and Thursdays at the firm, it was easy to get mostly back on top of things. Finishing up and making sure he was at her dorm by 7 was his only priority. He hadn’t heard from her in a few days, even though he had seen her in class. She was always gone by the time he had answered all of the questions he could from other students, and there was never time for a quick chat before class. 

Emmett’s stomach churned as he began climbing the stairs up to the second floor, thinking about how badly this could go down. Elle hadn’t texted him since she kissed him on the cheek a week ago, but he hadn’t texted her, either. He worried for a moment that it seemed like he was avoiding her, but brushed it off and decided to be sure to explain himself as soon as possible. Emmett begins wondering if he should bring up what happened that night, and what kissing him meant to her. He wasn’t even sure if she remembered that happened. With everything else going on, it was probably best to not bring it up. She should focus on the exams coming up in May, not him and his stupid feelings. Besides, he needed to focus on finding a job as soon as possible. That small kiss that may or may not have meant something should be the last thing on either of their minds.

As he finally reached the fourth floor and started making his way down the hallway, he saw Elle herself coming in his direction from the other end. Emmett stopped in his tracks as he noticed she was walking next to Vivienne with her books in her arms and that bright smile on her face. They seemed to be engaged in a friendly conversation, laughing at each other’s comments. Emmett felt a pang of jealousy rush over him. If Elle was friends with Vivienne now, surely he wasn’t needed anymore. Vivienne was easily the top three in Criminal Law 101, and since first-years all took the same courses, she could more easily help with Elle’s other classes. It wasn’t until they both looked straight ahead that he felt completely out of place.

“Emmett!” Elle chirps, almost surprised. Her smile doesn’t falter, but there’s a hint of confusion in her gaze as she steps ever closer. Her smile seemed more forced as soon as she spoke, and he became worried that showing up without notice was a terrible idea. Maybe she forgot about him, and that’s why she hasn’t texted or stuck around to say hi after class. “What are you doing here?”

“Hi,” he replies as he feels his throat go dry. He feels almost as confused as Elle, and as uncomfortable as Vivienne. The taller woman shifts her weight as she stands next to Elle, taking a subtle half-step backwards as if to let the two have their moment. “I just wanted to swing by and check on you,” he says honestly. “Since we usually study around this time and I know I’ve missed the past few days. Plus, it’s been hard to keep up with you since–”

“Oh, yeah,” Elle interrupts him before he can finish. She doesn’t want to think about anything that happened last week. He doesn’t blame her. She drops her gaze for a moment as she shifts her textbooks around. Emmett cringes slightly at the awkwardness in the air. He doesn’t like how the atmosphere between them has changed so quickly. “Well, I know you’ve been busy covering class since the investigation started, and I didn’t expect you to keep helping me out since there’s a lot you’re dealing with.” 

Emmett blinks, taken aback by her words. He can’t find anything to say, though, so he lets her keep talking.

“Vivienne actually invited me to join her study group, so I’ve been going over the cases with them for the past few days,” she continues, and Emmett swallows hard. She really didn’t need him anymore.

“Right,” he responds, stuffing his hands in his pockets in an attempt to appear normal. “Well, I don’t want to keep you from–”

“You could join us too,” Vivienne cuts him off. Emmett felt his face turn a light shade of pink from embarrassment. He forgot she was there. “We’re going over the case we talked about in Criminal Law on Monday. I’m sure you’d bring good insights to the discussion. Everyone would appreciate it.” Elle nods enthusiastically, looking back at Emmett. His eyes shift towards Vivienne again, and there’s a slight smirk on her face accompanying a knowing look in her eye that makes the shade of pink on his face deepen very quickly. 

“Ah… that’s okay,” he says after a moment. “I should probably go over my plans for tomorrow anyways, and I’ve got some… other stuff to work on,” he lies, feeling like he has to keep talking to fill the silence. Emmett swallows again and looks at both of them for a moment, and doesn’t appreciate the look Vivienne’s expression has shifted to. He clears his throat and looks back at Elle. “It was good seeing you, though.” 

The genuine, soft smile on Elle’s face makes Emmett melt a bit. “You too!” She says. The warmth in her tone makes Emmett less worried about the shift in their dynamic. Perhaps she needed space to figure out what the kiss meant too. He’d be fine with that.

“I’ll see you… tomorrow, then,” Emmett nods slightly, making sure to return Elle’s smile. She agrees with him with a small “yeah.” Before he turns around, he looks at Vivienne one last time. She raises her eyebrows at him with a solemn expression on her face. The look from before remains in her eyes but Emmett pretends not to notice it for a third time. She knows something, and he doesn’t like that.

As Emmett carries down the hallway, he tries not to pay attention to the whispers that Elle and Vivienne are exchanging as they trail behind him. They stop as Vivienne steps into her dorm to grab her textbooks. He takes this moment to turn his head and look back at Elle, surprised to see her already looking in his direction. The way her face lights up as she waves another goodbye makes it hard to not smile and wave back before carrying on down to his car.

–– March 25, 2007 ––

Over the next month, they end up barely seeing each other. Emmett spent another week as Callahan’s replacement until the now-former professor was officially dismissed by Harvard and Professor Stromwell, given that she taught the other section of Criminal Law 101, was asked to take over for the rest of the semester. Even though there was now less for Emmett to worry about responsibility wise, he knew he’d miss teaching and leading lectures. He  brushed it off, though, picking up a part-time job and started getting serious about applying to law firms.

Spending less time on campus, then, meant less opportunities to run into Elle coincidentally. He still saw her occasionally when he was able to attend class, but since he started coming irregularly, they only exchanged quick and general pleasantries in addition to their infrequent texts. There was once or twice where she called him and asked him to come over with his notes just like he used to.

“What about your study group?” He’d asked. 

“Oh, we just decided not to meet tonight,” she explained. He still wasn’t sure if that was the entire truth, but he’d never pass up an opportunity to spend time with her. It made him feel a lot better once she added, “Plus, I miss studying with you.”

Today, however, she invited him over for a completely different reason. Her explanation for hanging out tonight had been a mix of the fact that hadn’t been in class for almost two weeks and that it was the start of spring break. She deserved at least one night off, Elle had said, and so did he. Emmett found it pretty easy to give in and was soon on his way over to her dorm like he used to.

The impromptu study session from a few weeks ago had chipped away at the ice between them, but there was still some tension that hung in the air once Emmett had left. When he arrived this evening, the lingering feelings of awkwardness were noticeable as they exchanged simple “how are you”s and “what’s new.” But then it was like a switch flipped and they were finally talking and joking around like they had been a few months ago.

Elle first caught him up on everything she was learning from Vivienne and the rest of the study group. Most of it was new perspectives on cases, but apparently numerous group meetings had turned into quite the gossip sessions. From the way Elle talked about her new friendships with her classmates, he could tell that she was a lot happier. Vivienne’s acceptance of her into her social circle clearly had quite the impact, and he felt good that he was able to step away and let that happen. 

Being incredibly optimistic all the time was a facade Emmett was able to see through quite easily. Their circumstances may have been different, but it was the mutual feeling of being isolated from their classmates that formed the basis of their relationship. He never wanted to see someone else go through that. It had taken Emmett a year and a half to break down those walls, but Elle had done it under one. She was strong, and that was one of the things he admired most about her. He likes learning from her.

They then talked about Emmett’s search for a junior associate position at local firms and how he hadn’t had much luck landing one quite yet. It was becoming difficult since he still held his TA position until the end of the semester and couldn’t commit fully just yet. The publicity from the trial had definitely helped boost interest, but not a lot of firms were interested in hiring at the moment. He told her about how he ran into an old friend who had been part of his intern term at Callahan’s firm and how he’d offered to keep him posted if something opened up at his firm. That was about all he had to go on for now. 

The conversation had eventually shifted to Elle’s own search for a summer associate position. Unlike Emmett, she hadn’t been applying as much. After what happened with Callahan, she was a bit apprehensive at the thought of someone using her like that again. Going back home for the summer and trying to find something there seemed like her best option at this point, which made Emmett think about the end of the semester. 

If she was leaving, then maybe he might tell her how he felt. Then they’d have the summer to sort out any awkwardness. Because surely if she felt anything at all, she would’ve told him by now? Or was that selfish of him to think about? She had law school and her future as a lawyer to worry about, not some feelings she may or may not have for some guy who wasn’t even remotely on her level in any way.

Emmett wasn’t sure what time it was when they finally decided to watch a movie. All he could think about for the first few minutes of it starting was that Elle was sitting very, very close to him. It must’ve been about twenty minutes in when she rested her head on his shoulder and he spent more time contemplating what that meant than paying attention to whatever was going on the TV. 

He wasn’t sure if this was her way of making a move. Half of him started to wonder if this was her own way of following up about the kiss, if she even thought about that. What if that was her first way of making a move? And because he clearly hadn’t done anything, was this her way of making it more clear?

The other, more rational, half of him began to conclude that she’d fallen asleep. They had been sitting close together, so naturally her head might’ve fallen onto his shoulder. Yes, that must be it. He decided to let her be and made an effort to stay completely still to not disturb her. Emmett knew how exhausting law school was and how much she’d been pushing herself lately. She deserved a bit of rest, and he’d be lying if he told himself he didn’t like the fact she was currently using his shoulder as a pillow. 

It wasn’t until a joke made Elle laugh and Emmett realised this must have been very, very intentional. He spent the next few moments wondering what to do about it, trying to focus on the movie instead of whatever was happening between them, but quickly gave up. His arms shifted from their folded position across his chest to rest his hands on his crisscrossed knees. His green eyes flickered down to make sure they landed where they intended, and couldn’t help but notice the position he’d fallen into.

Elle’s left hand was resting on her own knee, inches away from where Emmett had just placed his. Normally, he wouldn’t have paid much attention to it. But the fact that Elle had supposedly purposely rested her head on his shoulder, initiating some kind of knowledge at the fact their platonic relationship was shifting, made Emmett wonder if he should try to do something, too.

Without thinking, his right pinkie slowly began reaching for her hand. The small gap between their knees was soon bridged by Elle extending her left pinkie, allowing Emmett to fully commit and curl his pinkie around hers. He felt Elle repeat the motion, pretending not to think about it too much. The noises from the movie in front of him were drowned out by the blood rushing to his ears, and he spent the next who knows how long feeling like he was up in the clouds. So much so that barely any thought was put into him finally letting his head lightly rest atop hers.

There he was, almost pushing 30, yet feeling unexplainably giddy at the experience of borderline holding hands with a girl like he was some teenager. It didn’t even occur to him until after the screen turned black and the credits began to roll that he realised they could’ve been actually holding hands this entire time. For some reason, though, he doesn’t feel regretful for not initiating a more intimate action– the little moments like this might just be what each of them need to figure out where this is going.

Elle doesn’t move when the credits continue rolling. Emmett wonders if she really fell asleep this time, being unable to recall the last time she made a comment or laughed at one of the lines. He accredits that to being too focused on the fact this was the most intimate they’d ever been, though, and decides to break the silence between them. 

“Elle?” Emmett asks softly, his tone just above a whisper. 

“Yeah?” Elle responds, staying completely still.

“I, uh, I should probably get going… it’s pretty late,” he finally decides to say. He actually isn’t sure, but is scared to check his watch and let go of her hand. She finally shifts her head and sits upright, letting go of his pinkie for the first time since they first linked together. As she pulls away, Emmett swallows once he realises how used he’s become to the warmth of her body beside him.

Instead of dwelling on it too much, he stands up and walks over to her desk chair where he left his jacket hanging about three hours ago when he arrived. Turning around to face Elle as he slips it on, she takes a few steps towards him. He doesn’t get a chance to read how she feels about this situation, but he can tell her smile is a bit forced. That makes him feel guilty.

“Thanks for coming over,” she says, gripping her hands together. The sweet smile on her face never fails to make Emmett reflect it, even if it might be forced. He likes seeing her smile. Elle leans forward on her toes slightly as he straightens out his jacket, and he recognises the expectant look in her eyes. She’s waiting for him to do something.

Emmett feels his face turn pink as he revisits the evening’s events. Elle had initiated something. He had initiated something. What was she waiting for? Did she want him to do something else before he left? What should he do? Kissing her out of the blue seemed like it would be too forward. Initiating a hug didn’t seem like quite enough to show her how he felt about all of this. 

In a moment of weakness, Emmett settles on holding his hand up for a high five. Elle blinks at him, completely confused, and hesitantly steps forward to complete it. The awkwardness between them seems to have increased to a level that Emmett doesn’t want to deal with right now, so he clears his throat and doesn’t meet Elle’s eye when he turns around and shows himself out.

Emmett pauses in the hallway to recount what the hell just happened. They were practically cuddling for half of the time he was over there, and he high fives her on his way out? Surely there were a thousand possible options that would have benefited whatever was going on with this relationship a million times better than a high five . His fingers grip his mouth as he wonders how on Earth he can bounce back from that. 

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he carries down the hallway and thinks his life couldn’t get any worse. Unfortunately for him, though, he is just about to pass Vivienne’s door as soon as it opens and she steps out. He glances at her instinctively and much to his disappreciation, she acknowledges him. 

“Hello, Emmett,” she says with a knowing tone accompanied by a smirk. He nods in response, not wanting to dwell on the fact she most definitely knew he was just with Elle. After all, she was the only reason he ever came by here. Vivienne pulls her door shut and lingers outside her door for a moment, reading something on her phone as he passes by.

Carrying on, he takes a quick look back to see if Vivienne is heading out and going to follow him downstairs. If she does, he hopes she won’t ask him any questions. Instead, he’s overcome with a feeling of dread as he watches her head in the opposite direction. Towards Elle’s dorm. 

Emmett snaps his attention back in front of him, eyes growing wide as he imagines the implications. If Vivienne was going to Elle’s dorm, she was probably going to learn about everything that just happened. He tried to brush it off, but couldn’t stop thinking about it.

What was he going to do?

–– May 10, 2007 ––

It took a few weeks for Emmett to fully let that evening go. He still replayed the moments in his head. Remembering the warm feeling of being close to her, touching her hand so tenderly, and the way it all felt unnatural yet comfortable. It was nice to think about between job applications, but he eventually brushed it all off as wishful thinking. It was easier for both of them that way. He could focus on finally starting his career, and she could focus on law school.

He purposely didn’t show up to class the first week following spring break. He lined up good excuses in case Elle– or anyone else, for that matter– asked him about it. Picked up extra shifts, had a job interview, got sick… but she never asked. They seemed to be falling back to that state of being unsure of what was coming next for the two of them. The subtle waves and small smiles exchanged before or after class the times Emmett worked up enough courage to face her were practically all of their interactions in the past month and a half. 

Elle hadn’t called him to ask for his help with studying, and their text conversations had remained as minimal as their tiny moments on campus. He wasn’t sure where they stood or what he should do next. Distracting Elle from exams quickly became the forefront of his excuses, but not doing anything the past few months had been eating him up that he was getting sick of it. Finally, Emmett convinced himself to do something about it.

Today seemed like the perfect opportunity. May 10th was the last day of exams, and he knew that first-year students had their Civil Procedure exam this morning, which meant Elle would be on campus. If he timed it right, he’d be there too and might just happen to run into her. That was about the entirety of his plan. In other words, Emmett had no clue what he was doing.

The last thing he heard was that Elle was still planning to leave for California at the end of the semester, which meant he had just a few days to make a move. And then she was definitely going to forget about him.

Hands in his pockets as he walked onto campus, Emmett contemplated what he should say if he saw her. He didn’t even have a plan. Anything he thought of never felt right, and he couldn’t make up his mind on what would be best.

“Emmett!” He hears a voice call out from ahead of him. Looking up from the sidewalk just in front of his feet, his heart started pounding and he was filled with a mix of adrenaline and dread. There was Elle, supposedly just coming from her last exam, excitedly calling his name with that big, bright smile on her face. He smiled back at her instinctively as he waved, carrying on as she quickened her pace to meet him halfway. 

“Did you cut your hair?” Elle asks as they get closer together, her voice sounding surprised. He stops walking when there’s only a few feet between them, and realises he still has no clue what he’s going to do or say.

“Hm?” Emmett replies, raising his eyebrows as he tries to buy himself some time. He reaches up to touch the side of his head, finally registering what she just asked. “Oh. Yeah. Just a little bit. I thought I’d try to look more professional for interviews, less scruffy.” She lets out a small laugh and the all-too-familiar feeling in his stomach comes back almost instantly.

“You look good,” she says in a tone he can’t quite interpret.

“Thanks,” he says, stuffing his free hand back in his front pocket. “Where are you headed?” Emmett decides to direct the conversation, noticing she’s walking away from her dorm. 

“Professor Stromwell wanted to see me after my Civil Procedure exam, so I’m just dropping by before I head back,” she explains, adjusting the bag on her shoulder slightly. “What are you doing here?”

He stares at her as she awaits his response, running through any possible excuse there would be in this situation. Saying one last goodbye to campus or his old professors, picking up his last TA paycheck, last minute grading– Hell, even just a simple walk around campus would do. Instead, worried that too long of a silence will end up with Elle leading the conversation somewhere he doesn’t want to go, he decides to give in to the nagging feelings he’s felt over the past few months. 

“I actually was hoping I’d run into you,” he says, feeling like a weight has been lifted off of his chest as her expression changes into something he can only describe as curious yet hopeful, which somehow makes him feel more confident.

“Oh,” she says as her mouth shifts into a smile. “What for?” 

“Well,” Emmett clears his throat, “I know how hard you’ve worked to finish up your first year, so I just wanted to congratulate you in person.” Her expression falters slightly as she nods, and he feels a quick pang in his chest.

“Thanks,” she says. “Couldn’t have done it without Harvard’s best tutor,” Elle grins and holds out her hand, and he recognizes it as her initiating their handshake that hasn’t been used in months. Emmett smiles as he takes her hand, carrying it out just like they used to. He’s so caught up in the small laughs they exchange that he forgets to think before speaking again.

“Do you…” he starts halfway through a chuckle, and suddenly realizes it’s way too late. So he goes for it. “Do you want to get dinner tonight? My treat,” he adds hastily. With everything that has happened (or rather, has not happened) the past few months, the last thing he wants to do is miscommunicate what his intentions are. 

“Are you asking me out on a date?” She asks, her smile never faltering. Her eyebrow is raised in an almost teasing way. Emmett realises that this is his last chance to back out and make up any other excuse. Two friends grabbing dinner together doesn’t have to be romantic, but after everything that has happened, he decides it’s best to give it a shot. He owes that to himself at least. Elle’s had quite the effect on his confidence.

“Yeah,” he finally exhales. “Is that okay? I’ve been–”

“Yes, it’s okay!” Elle says quickly, cutting off him before he can finish. She adjusts her bag on her shoulder again and moves some hair from out of her face, allowing Emmett to accept the reality of the situation. He decides to ignore the heat colouring his face and tells himself that Elle won’t notice if he doesn’t. “I’d… I’d really like that,” she finishes in a softer tone, and Emmett can’t help but point out to himself that he hasn’t seen this side of her very often. She’s been vulnerable, sure, but the fact that she’s somewhat apprehensive about the whole situation comforts him a lot more. It makes it more real.

“Cool,” Emmett says, running a hand over his jaw. “I can pick you up around 7, if that works?”

“That sounds perfect,” Elle says softly. “I should probably get going, but I’ll see you in a couple of hours, then.” There’s a moment of silence where Emmett nods before she moves past him to carry on to Professor Stromwell’s office. She catches his left arm as she passes him, hesitating for a moment before she leans up to plant a soft kiss on his cheek. This is different from the time in February outside her door, because she pulls back to flash him a smile before carrying on.

He’s pretty sure he knows exactly what that means, and finds himself unable to not smile all the way back to his apartment.

––––

If Emmett knew that asking Elle out directly was the way to clear the unresolved tension between them, he would’ve done it ages ago. Okay, maybe that was a lie. But just thinking about everything over and over again for the past three months was doing nothing for either of them. When he picked her up, only the first few minutes might have been classified as awkward, but he quickly accredited that to the shift in atmosphere. Things were different, but he had to keep reminding himself that they were both the same people they were when they saw each other every day.

They were just two friends who happened to be going out on a date. It didn’t have to mean anything or even lead anywhere. He had no expectations. At least, that’s what he was trying to convince himself of as he finished getting ready. Slipping on a suit and tie twenty minutes too early just made more time to overthink the entire situation. 

“You look nice,” Emmett had said almost breathlessly when she opened her door. He felt a rush of affection as she smiled and did a small curtsy. Perhaps it was still the way he practically ran up the stairs, or that he was starting to get more nervous, but he made sure to recover quickly enough.

“Thanks,” she replied. “You too.”

As soon as they arrived at the restaurant, everything felt so natural. Their conversation flowed as it would have a few months ago, and nothing about it was uncomfortable. Elle insisted he talk about his job search first, since he had landed a potentially promising offer a few months ago through an old friend.

“Well,” he said as he swished the little water left in his glass around slightly. “They actually called me last week and had me come in to meet some people. I’m going in tomorrow for a final interview, I think. I feel pretty good about it but I guess we’ll see.”

“Emmett!” Elle exclaimed excitedly. “That’s amazing!” He half-smiles and shrugs, eyes fixed on his glass.

“What about you?” Emmett had asked, eager to turn the conversation around. He’s never been comfortable being the center of attention. “Any news about California?”

Elle seemed to falter slightly at his question. “My Dad’s talked to some people for me, but nothing concrete yet. I don’t really know if I want to take anything back home. I’ve really, really liked being here,” her voice trailed off and she avoided his eyes. He taps his fingers on the table absentmindedly, trying not to read too much into her words. “I don’t really want to think about it right now though. Can we… not talk about California tonight?”

“Hey, fine by me,” Emmett said a little too quickly. She perked up at his response, and he decided to completely turn the conversation around by asking about how she felt about the Criminal Law exam. Since then, the evening had been anything but unpleasant or awkward. It evolved from topic to topic and they truly could have gone on forever. He liked it when she made him laugh.

Walking her back to her dorm felt an awful lot like walking her back just after the night at the bar following Brooke’s trail. It was completely different at the same time, as if the changes in the seasons reflected the changes in their relationship. The slight breeze sent a shiver down Emmett’s spine at the same time that he realized he still wasn’t sure what anything in the past few months meant. He wasn’t even sure if he’d figure that out anytime soon.

Emmett clears his throat as they both linger outside her door in the first officially awkward silence of the night. He scratches his upper lip before stuffing his right hand back in its natural place in his pockets as he tries to think of something to say. 

“Do you want to come in for a sec?” Elle asks quickly, her hand lingering on the closed door’s handle. Emmett blinks at her, eyes wide.

“Excuse me?” He asks and tries not to sound ridiculous. 

“I asked if you wanted to come in for a second,” she repeats, slightly confused at what he might’ve interpreted her words as. 

“Oh. Um, sure,” he says. He shakes his head to try and wipe that interaction from his memory. He most definitely heard her ask something else.

“Actually, before you go,” Elle says, opening her door and leading him in. Emmett lingers in the doorway for a moment, but then decides to step in and close it behind him. She walks over to her bed and picks up a sweater– which he soon realises is his sweater– and returns to where he’s standing now. “I keep forgetting to give this back to you.” She hands it over to him and he takes it hesitantly.

“Right,” Emmett says, moving it around in his hands slightly. “I’ve kind of forgotten about this,” he admits with a chuckle. He didn’t even recall ever seeing it around her dorm before. He’d spent countless nights here and after the first few weeks of their study sessions he had finally stopped looking for it. 

“I’ve kind of gotten used to having it,” Elle responds somewhat shyly, playing off of his own words. He looks up to meet her gaze and, for the hundredth time that night, makes a note to himself about how pretty she looks. The small smile on her face makes Emmett’s stomach flip-flop.

“You can keep it, if you want,” he says, holding it back out to her. 

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, I haven’t missed it at all, so you might as well,” Emmett shrugs, and she reaches back out to take it.

“Thanks,” Elle tosses it back onto her bed with a half-step backwards.

It’s touching in an unfamiliar way that she wants to keep it. The sweatshirt likely smells like her perfume at this point, and he’d be lying if he said part of him didn’t want to keep it for that reason alone. He was starting to realise the full reality of the situation. She was going back to California. She wasn’t going to think about him anymore. If having his sweatshirt helped his memory last in that brilliant brain of hers for a bit longer, he might be found guilty of letting that happen.

“Well,” Emmett says, absentmindedly putting his hands in his pockets. “This has been fun. I hope you enjoy California, and good luck with the rest of law school.” There was a moment where he could’ve sworn Elle’s smile started to fade. If he focused on it for too long, he might start to believe that she wanted something more just like he did. 

Elle regained her smile and opened her arms for a hug, and he smiled as he took a step forward and wrapped his arms around her. Her arms looped around his neck and he thought about that night after the trial when she kissed him on the cheek and how he never figured out what that meant. Maybe he should tell her. For closure and for new beginnings. Maybe if he did, he’d finally be able to move past it. If she still wanted to be friends, they’d have the whole summer to sort out the awkwardness.

The hug seemed to last for a while, and both of them were content with that. Elle’s head resting on his shoulder felt too comfortable, and Emmett found himself closing his eyes to fully take it all in. This might be their final moment together. With his interview tomorrow and Elle’s plans to go back home, this was all they had. He felt guilty for making it such a big deal in his head. Emmett started pulling back, but he couldn’t bring himself to completely break the embrace. Elle leaned backward slightly, her hands resting on the back of his neck. God, she was amazing. All of the possible ways he could tell her about how he felt that he’d built up in his mind just a second ago completely disappeared and all he could focus on was how close they were. How easy it would be to just lean down to kiss her. 

His heart skipped a beat as he noticed her eyes flicker down to his lips for a split second before looking back up at him at the same time as his thought. That he was sure of. Everything seemed to click at that moment. The whole evening they spent together, the way she had so obviously been flirting with him the past few months even with the little they’d seen each other, the way her face lit up this afternoon when he finally did something about it. He wasn’t sure what it was. He wasn’t sure how deep her feelings were. But he was sure there was something there that was worth giving a shot.

“Can I…” Emmett started, his voice barely above a whisper. He did his best to hold a steady voice, cheeks tinging with pink from embarrassment. Maybe it was just because he always did his best to not cross boundaries, and the last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable. Maybe he was reading it wrong. Maybe she didn’t feel the same way. His heart was beating rapidly as he took note of the fact he could now feel her breath on his lips.

“Yes,” Elle responded a little too quickly, matching his tone.

“I didn’t–”

“Shh,” she hushes him, pulling back to flash him a smile before leaning back in and officially closing the gap between them.

The feeling of kissing her was almost cathartic. The tension that had been built up between them over the course of the past few months, blurring the lines of friendship, faded instantly along with the world around them. Her right hand cupped the side of his face and Emmett felt like he might die.

When they finally broke apart to catch their breath, Emmett noticed her blue eyes shining in a way that always made him feel something. Emotion swelled in his chest as he realized how much he was going to miss her. None of this was meant to go anywhere beyond tonight, he reminded himself. Even if she felt something too. Elle was going back to the other side of the country on Saturday before coming back in the fall, and he was staying in Massachusetts. When she did come back, she’d get busy with her second year of law school and forget about him. He tried to block out thoughts in his head that were repeatedly reminding himself of the situation. It wasn’t meant to be. California. California. California. She was going back to California.

He wasn’t sure if it was his frustration of being unable to think about anything other than her leaving or the fact Elle was pulling him close again that was the final force in leaning back in. He eventually decided both were a factor. 

This time, Emmett kissed her like he’d never see her again. Because he wasn’t going to. It seemed that the feeling of her lips on his was the only solution to clear the thoughts in his head. Every time a thought would start, it was easy to redirect and focus on something else. The taste of her lip gloss. His hands on her waist. Her fingers in his hair. His heart thumping in his chest. The smell of her perfume. The mere fact that this was happening . They were the only things that he wanted to care about. Just her, just them, and just this moment.

Elle brushed her nose against his after they pulled apart a second time, smiling slightly as he rested his forehead on hers. It felt like a dream. Maybe it was because he had just kissed Elle, or simply because he couldn’t even remember the last time he kissed a girl, but something about it made him want to burn every second of it into his memory. For a moment, Emmett enjoyed the comfortable silence and the feeling of her finger slowly tracing circles on the back of his neck. He closed his eyes as the thoughts started building up again, frustrated that he couldn’t just get rid of them forever.

When he opens them back up a second later, Elle is staring at him intently. Her eyes seemed clouded for a moment and she bites her lip as if she’s contemplating saying something.

“Can I call you when I’m in California?” She ends up asking innocently. He hated that word. What happened to not talking about that tonight? 

“Of course,” Emmett responds breathlessly, making a mental note to himself to add more minutes to his phone plan as soon as possible. He leans back in to kiss her once more, eager to clear his head from the spiral she was unknowingly about to send him on. It was easier when he could drown out the thoughts with her. Her reciprocation this time started with a smile which almost made Emmett melt. For a few moments, he was once again free from the reality of the situation.

Pulling away the third time, he notices the look in her eyes has shifted. The smile she flashes this time is half-genuine, and he finally realises that she might not want to think about leaving either. He swallows as he tries to read her face, something he’s usually good at, and finally decides to lean back in for the fourth time. Thinking about her thinking about “this” past today is not something he wants to deal with right now. Completely lost in the moment, he gets startled when Elle’s hand swiftly lands on his shoulder and applies pressure. Emmett stops immediately, and he pulls his hands away from her body as an extra measure.

“Emmett,” she says softly and almost apologetically. A wave of emotions rushes over him as he searches her face for a sign of discomfort. Her eyes are still shining like they had been the first time they pulled apart, but he can tell she’s distracted. He swallows hard and waits for her to continue. 

“You have a really important job interview tomorrow,” she reminds him, “and I… have to pack.” Her voice cracks as she finishes her sentence, and Emmett’s stomach churns at his correct observations. Usually being right is so thrilling, but this is nothing but painful. She doesn’t want to go. Somehow, it’s flattering. He likes that he means something to her, enough for her to want to stay. But he knows he’s selfish for wanting her to stay for whatever is now happening between them. He hasn’t figured that part out yet, and doesn’t expect to before the night is over. Especially now.

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, wanting to look away. But for some reason, he can’t. 

Her thumb grazes the side of his cheek and she smiles brightly at him. “Don’t be sorry,” she says reassuringly. Emmett swallows again, head reeling. “This has been the best night I’ve had in a long time. I just don’t want to rush anything.”

With that, Elle tilts her head upwards and leans up to kiss him again. This time, the world seems to slow down in motion instead of speeding up. It’s somehow more all-consuming than the previous times they’ve kissed this evening, and Emmett finds himself becoming lost in this one much easier. She pulls back after what feels like forever, hands resting on the back of his neck like they had been previously.

“What time is your interview?” She asks in a normal tone after a moment. He’s not sure how she can switch to being so natural so quickly.

“10:30,” he replies. “Maybe I can come by after and help you pack?” His question is more hopeful than benevolent, willing to do anything to see her again before she leaves. He then wonders why he didn’t offer this beforehand.

“I’ll text you,” Elle smiles, pulling herself back up to give him another quick kiss on the lips. His hands move from her waist to her elbows as she pulls away, lingering for a moment in their comfortable proximity. Emmett’s pleasantly surprised at how casual this all feels to him in such a short amount of time.

“I’ll maybe see you tomorrow, then,” he says. She nods in response, letting her hands fall to her sides. He lets go of her, too, and forces the feeling of disappointment out of his brain as he takes a few steps backwards to her door. 

“Bye,” Elle says softly as he twists the handle, twisting it while facing her. 

“Bye,” Emmett replies, finally turning and exiting her dorm. He can’t help but stifle a small laugh as he shuts the door behind him, rubbing his free hand over his jaw. Nothing about this makes sense, but somehow it was happening. Exactly what is happening is something Emmett still needs to figure out, but for the first time in the past few months, he feels sort of okay with that. Whatever’s happening is good, Emmett decides. No matter where it might be leading, or how far apart they might be.

–– May 11, 2007 ––

Following his interview, Emmett made his way back to his apartment and collapsed onto his couch. It had gone as well as he had expected; they were very happy to offer him a position and he was very happy to accept it. He was grateful he finally landed something.

It felt a little surreal, though, to finally have a solid position in place two years after graduating. Finally acknowledging he wasn’t going back to Harvard was a bit more difficult. Campus had started to feel a lot like his second home– though he wasn’t sure if it was the familiarity of it or the time he spent there. He smiles to himself as he remembers he can still visit Elle there, and then finally allows him to think about what happened last night.

As he thinks about it, Emmett twists his wrist to check his watch to see it was a little past twelve. Elle should’ve been up for a few hours now, and he started to feel excited at the thought of seeing her again. Even though it was just to help her pack, he’d take any excuse to be around her after last night. Maybe it was wishful thinking that they’d talk about it somehow and establish what it meant to both of them. Or maybe there would be no talking at all, and that would be just fine. Regardless of how it made him feel, the status of their relationship still seemed hazy. He never thought about what she might want.

Emmett jumped at the sudden buzzing in his pocket, realizing that must be her. No one else called him as much as she did. Sure enough, he pulled out his phone to read her name. It took a moment for him to compose himself enough to pick up. Being nervous to talk to Elle was not a feeling he was used to.

“Hello?” He says as he answers.

“Hey!” Elle chirped from the other end. He could hear the faint tapping of her heels as she walked down the street. “What are you doing right now?”

“Nothing. I was actually just about to call you,” he admits sheepishly.

“Do you want to grab lunch?”

It took a few minutes for her to explain this small place she was thinking about which was about a block away from Paulette’s salon. Emmett promised to meet her there in about twenty minutes, giving himself the opportunity to brush his teeth again and run some gel through his hair for good measure. He knew the area pretty well, partly because it was pretty close to campus, but had never stopped inside anywhere except for The Hair Affair. Elle had somehow managed to convince him to hold a review session there once. They’d gotten pretty lenient about what happened during a study session throughout the winter semester. 

When he finally arrived at the restaurant, Elle was sitting in a booth by the window. He was surprised at the lack of traffic inside. She lowered the menu she was reading and greeted him with a smile and a small “hi”. Given everything that happened, Emmett was surprised that this felt so normal. Nothing about this was– they’d barely even eaten out together over the months unless it was some form of takeout they ate in Elle’s dorm (with the occasional scenery change through Emmett’s apartment). Besides that, this was kind of sort of their second date. Maybe.

Nerves started bubbling through Emmett as he realized this, but brushed it off and took a seat across from her. He was somewhat thankful the waitress in the area noticed his arrival and came to get their order. Delaying any possible conversation Elle wanted to have gave him time to think about what he could say.

She ended up ordering a small salad, and Emmett just decided to get the same thing. As nervous as he might have been about whatever was going to happen within the next hour, the anticipation was eating at him as well. He wasn’t sure he could stomach anything.

“Soooo,” Elle says as soon as the waitress collects their menus and leaves, clasping her hands together on the table as she leans slightly forward. Emmett swallows, making sure his eyes stay locked with hers. “How was your interview?” 

He’s grateful that he has some good news to share, wherever this may be going. Being celebrated is something he’s got to get used to, Elle had once told him.

“Good,” Emmett replies, shifting slightly in his seat. “They had a position open up and wanted me to take it, so I did. I start Monday.”

“Emmett!” Elle exclaims. “That’s awesome!”

“Yeah, it’ll be good,” he says, somehow unable to match her energy. He looks down at his hands for a moment. When he looks back up, Elle is giving him a knowing smile.

“You don’t seem as excited as I thought you’d be,” she says half-teasingly as she leans back into the back of the booth. He takes a moment to think about it, and maybe she’s right. As usual.

“I thought it would feel different,” Emmett admits. “Plus, I think I’ll miss Harvard.” 

“Harvard will miss you,” Elle offers. “And don’t think for one second that you don’t deserve this.” Emmett lets out a small scoff, taking a sip of water to hide the small smile on his face.

“Listen, Emmett,” she continues, her voice soft and understanding. He looks up to meet her gaze, the comforting but stern smile on her face makes him feel weirdly really good inside. She gets him. That’s what he likes about her. “You’re, what, two days away from starting what you’ve worked so hard for? Give yourself some credit!” He shrugs in response and looks back down at the empty space in front of him. “You’re an amazing lawyer, an awesome teacher, and a really, really great friend.”

Emmett doesn’t look back up at her as she finishes her sentence. It’s somehow hurtful that she chooses that word, friend, after the past months– particularly after last night. She doesn’t owe him anything, he knows that, but he can’t help but feel disappointed. He wasn’t sure what the label on their relationship was, but given their date and the way it had ended, he was fairly certain friend was not an accurate description.

As if on cue, the waitress returns with their salads. It breaks the moments of silence, given Emmett’s lack of response. He clears his throat, suddenly feeling extremely sick. The food on his plate has lost all appeal within thirty seconds of it arriving. The quietness between them makes him think back to the first time he saw her after the trial. He doesn’t like that.

“I haven’t even told you my good news yet,” she pivots the conversation, and he takes the bait easily. If celebrating Elle getting a job in California will make him forget that interaction, then he was going to oblige. That’s what friends do, after all. He raises his eyebrows expectantly, smiling slightly as he waits for her to tell him.

“Well, you know how I had my Dad see if any of his lawyer friends would be able to take me on for the summer?” Elle starts, and he nods in response. “Okay, well, on Wednesday I was talking to Stromwell after the Criminal Law exam, and she started to ask me if I had a summer associate position. I told her everything about the firms that contacted me in February that had already filled their positions for the summer and I was probably going to go back home to do something.” Emmett’s heartbeat starts picking up as he processes her words. He selfishly nurses his own hopes of where she could be going with this. He didn’t want to be the reason she stayed in Massachusetts, but he’d happily reap the benefits of it. Besides, with most of the Harvard Law students getting associate positions elsewhere, he'd be her only friend nearby.

“But then she told me that she has an old friend who is always looking for lawyers like me on his staff, and that she’d be willing to refer me to them if I was interested,” Elle takes a breath and continues talking. “So, obviously, I told her I was interested because I’ve really come to like it here. I didn’t think too much of it but after yesterday, I was really hoping they’d get back to me soon, mostly because doing the whole long distance thing for three months seemed incredibly unappealing.”

Those last few words completely threw Emmett for a loop. If he thought too much about what she just said now, he’d miss whatever she was going to say next. He picked up his fork and forced himself to focus, hoping to redirect his thoughts to the salad in front of him. This was about Elle, not whatever she was implying about the status of their relationship. 

“But this morning while I was packing, they called me and asked me if I could come in for an interview later today, and of course I was like, “Absolutely!” So, I went down there about an hour later and had a real quick interview with the guy who I guess Stromwell was talking about personally, and, oh my God, Emmett, it went so good,” she carries on effortlessly. “He seemed to think so, too, because he offered me the job on the spot!” 

“That’s awesome!” Emmett exclaims, unable to hide his excitement for her. He always knew she was brilliant. Everyone else was starting to realize that, too.

“The firm is, like, pretty prestigious too. I never even thought about applying there, but he told me all about how impressed he was about Brooke’s trial and that I handled it so well. He really thinks I’ve got potential!”

“I could’ve told you that,” Emmett says as-a-matter-of-factly.

“Anyway,” she says, flashing him a smile at his comment. “They still had to figure a bit of stuff out, so I’m not starting until the 24th.” Elle pauses for a moment, taking a bite of her salad. Emmett’s thoughts drift back to “the whole long distance thing” with the beat of silence. He shakes his head and dismisses it, thinking he heard it differently than she had said.

“I’m still going home tomorrow, since it’s been a while, but I'll fly back next week and start at the firm next Monday,” she adds, looking at him almost expectantly. “Then I’ll be here all summer for the internship and to get ready for classes in the fall.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Emmett nods, not sure what she wants him to say. He shifts his fork around his plate, realizing that he hasn’t eaten anything yet. He looks back up at the sound of her gently setting her fork down on the table, watching her as she moves a strand of hair out of her face. 

“Emmett,” she says. He feels his face flush at the shift in her voice. Her tone is much more serious, and he can’t help but let his eyes flicker down to her lips for just a moment. He thinks about kissing her last night, and he thinks about how he wants to do it again. Instead of responding, Emmett raises his eyebrows to show he’s listening and wills her to continue. She does.

“What do you want?” Elle asks. He blinks.

“I don’t know,” he replies in a voice just above a whisper. Maybe it’s somewhat truthful, since he isn’t completely sure what she’s asking. “What do you want?” Emmett redirects, stuffing a piece of lettuce in his mouth. He doesn’t want to eat because he’s not hungry, but eating means he has an excuse not to talk.

“Well,” she starts, looking away for a moment. “I mean, after yesterday, I realized that I really, really want to do this,” Elle finally says bluntly, leaving Emmett slightly shell shocked. He pokes at his plate of food again, turning his attention there for a moment until he realizes she’s waiting for him to answer. 

“I think I’m in love with you,” he blurts out suddenly, surprising Elle but mostly himself. “I’m sorry,” Emmett carries on, somehow finding it hard to stop speaking. He can’t believe he’s doing this. “I mean, I am. I do. I wanted to tell you a while ago but then…” he trails off, swishing his left hand in a mark of hopelessness. “I never wanted it to ruin anything between us.” 

He shakes his head down at his salad that has barely been touched and then looks back at Elle. The small smile on her face, even with the hint of confusion lingering in her expression, comforts him in a way he wasn’t familiar with. He takes a deep breath before finishing.

“That’s… probably not what you wanted to hear,” Emmett admits out loud, trying to compose himself by straightening his tie again. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” Elle says softly. She cuts him off when he shakes his head. “Seriously. It’s been so crazy but I think that’s how I feel too,” her words come so naturally that it takes Emmett a second to realize what she was saying. “I don’t know exactly when I realized, but at some point it all sort of clicked, you know?”

“Yeah,” he exhales, though he knows that isn’t quite true for him. “I guess we could’ve been figuring this out a lot sooner,” he half chuckles to fill the silence, though it feels like it comes out as a nervous laugh rather than a humorous one. His stomach still felt tight, and he wasn’t sure if he would be able to finish lunch. Still, clearing the air between them already felt like a weight was lifted off his chest. They had time to figure it out.

“No,” Elle says gently, absentmindedly moving her fork around her own plate. “I think… I needed time to figure things out. Not just about you, but about everything. It’s good that it took some time.”

Emmett nods, understanding every bit of it. He suddenly feels better about their time apart, realizing how it solidified everything for him as well. With a new wave of confidence, he steadily meets her gaze.

“If you want to do this,” he says, gesturing between them, “then I’d really like that.”

“Me too,” Elle replies with a small smile on her face. Her words seem to make everything over the past few months finally make sense. There was surely a lot to still figure out and discuss, but for now, they were definitely on the same page. No more guessing or wondering. It was clear enough to know how to move forward now.

The conversation managed to shift as naturally as possible, carrying on about whatever came to them in the moment. Emmett decided to take his salad to go, since Elle finished hers and he didn’t want to keep her waiting. She had insisted on paying, passing it off as celebrating his successful job search. 

“If yesterday was about me, then today’s about you,” she had said. Emmett decided he couldn’t argue with that. 

He offered her a ride back to her dorm as she walked him to his car, but Elle declined. She said she had to stop by The Hair Affair and tell Paulette the good news and she’d make her way back after that. After letting him know that she’d give him a call this evening to try and see him at least one more time before she left tomorrow, she leaned up slightly to give him a quick kiss goodbye. Emmett reciprocated, feeling grateful that he ate something once they parted. He was fairly certain he might’ve passed out by now if he hadn’t. 

As he drove away in silence, he felt more relieved and stress free than he had in years. Somehow, everything about this past year had worked out in a completely different way than he had expected. But he was more than okay with that. 

–– May 19, 2007 ––

Throughout the past five months, Emmett dealt with a lot of uncertainty. With everything about his job search aside, establishing some kind of romantic relationship with Elle had been quite the rollercoaster. Most of that time had been spent wondering what was going to happen next.

This past week, however, had been different. He finally started working at a law firm as a lawyer, made a conscious decision to move out of his cheap studio apartment, and somehow spent it all while being a boyfriend. He was still getting used to all of it– particularly being a boyfriend. 

It had been quite a while since his last relationship, and he’d never been as close with any of the girls he’d dated previously before entering the romantic stage. Elle was all around different than any of the other girls he had gone out with, though, and he’d quickly accepted that they’d just figure it out as they went along. That alone was difficult. 

She had spent the last week in California, spending time with her friends and her parents before heading back to Massachusetts to start her position as a summer associate at one of the best firms in Boston. Emmett couldn’t help but smile just thinking about it. God, she was amazing.

When he dropped her off at the airport, she promised to call him everyday. He told her not to fuss about it, but she insisted. And she did. It wasn’t always consistent– though she always made sure to take into account the three hour difference (being used to East Coast time definitely helped) and the fact most of his time was spent at work. It seemed to work out just fine, and Elle had quickly become a consistent part of his life again. Part of it still didn’t feel real.

The whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing had, at least for Emmett, felt like some sort of fever dream for the first couple of days. Nothing had really changed between them– especially since they were currently on separate sides of the country– but in some ways reminded him of the distance between them in early April. Not being able to see her as they worked through the initial stages was unnatural and almost awkward. 

It wasn’t until something like a five hour Skype call changed everything. Elle had called him as he was watching the Red Sox game on Tuesday, and a quick lesson on basic baseball terms had quickly evolved into numerous other topics ranging from what is classified as a sandwich to what Elle’s “doing this” actually meant. They could’ve kept talking forever, really, and even with the lack of sleep Emmett received that night, the world seemed a little brighter knowing that he and Elle were exactly on the same page.

They were dating. In a relationship. Exclusive. He was her boyfriend. She was his girlfriend. Any time he found a new way to word it, it made him feel all sorts of emotions. In the end, whatever he used to describe it in his head, it was real. And it felt right. That’s what was most important. 

It was Saturday now, and Elle was on her way back to Boston. Emmett would go pick her up in a couple of hours, and then they’d spend the rest of the day together. He wasn’t sure what they’d get up to, but he was looking forward to figuring that out. After all, they had time.

He was mostly killing time right now, wandering around a supermarket buying groceries he wasn’t even sure if he needed. A distraction was what he needed, but nothing seemed to help at all. He was nervous and excited all at the same time. His eyes lingered for a moment as he passed by the floral displays. Absentmindedly drumming his thumbs against the shopping cart handle, Emmett stood there for a moment as thoughts ran through his head. 

What if he bought her flowers?

He couldn’t recall a specific time he ever bought a bouquet for a previous girlfriend, though he might’ve once or twice. It was something Elle in particular might appreciate, sure, but then he started to wonder if doing so would be too forward. They had been dating for a week– and had spent all but 18 hours of that time on separate sides of the country. 

The regular phone calls had been nice enough, but seeing how they functioned as a couple in person was yet to be determined. Maybe it would be good luck and set them off on a good start. But maybe she’d think it was too much, or maybe it would be exactly what she needed today.

Yes, he eventually decides, he’ll buy her some flowers. He places a nice bouquet with white and pink flowers in his cart and carries on to the checkout before he can change his mind. It doesn't have to mean anything big or exciting. The feelings and experiences Emmett has felt the past few months have been new, but he’s learnt to appreciate them.

Elle taught him that. He was looking forward to learning more from her.