Faust |
Faust would like to know why this meeting was called. |
Outis |
Indeed. Executive Manager, while I do appreciate your brilliance, I don't know if a meeting at this current moment was necessary. |
Yi Sang |
Or ideal. |
Dante |
<Look, guys, it's going to be quick. I promise.> |
| Dante |
<Now, keep in mind that this is coming from the same person that makes us go into mirror dungeons a maximum of five times a day and tells you guys to basically do whatever, so "strategy" has never really been my strong suit.> |
| Dante |
<But recently, I've been noticing two sinners getting along more than usual, and while I appreciate that you guys are getting close, the utter denial by these two about the dynamic they pose may threaten to completely destroy the team if not brought up now.> |
Ryoshu |
Finally. I.A.D.T. |
Sinclair |
It's about damn time? Ryoshu, you know who Dante's talking about? |
| Ryoshu |
Mmm. Was wondering when we would bring up the obvious flirting between Heathcliff and Ishmael. |
Heathcliff |
OI! You shut the hell up with that right now, that's not funny. |
Ishmael |
Or accurate. He's more like my little brother. |
| Heathcliff |
Little?! I'm taller than you, gremlin! |
| Ishmael |
Pfft. But you react to me like a little brother would, and that's what matters. |
| Heathcliff |
Swear to God, if I didn't warm up to you after that whale shite... |
| Outis |
Well, if it isn't them, we must clearly be talking about Faust and Yi Sang. |
| Faust |
I have no idea what you're talking about. I-I am... currently not feeling any special feeling about Yi Sang. |
| Yi Sang |
"Not currently feeling" would imply that there could've been something there in the past. Or perhaps something there will occur in the future? |
| Faust |
...I do not appreciate being messed with like this. |
Rodion |
Ooh, ooh, let me guess next! It's obviously between the chiquita and her knight~ |
Gregor |
Ahh, smart choice. I agree with that. |
Don Quixote |
Hmm?! Verily, I must ask thee to stop spreading misinformation on my good name! There is nothing going on between me and Meursault! |
| Sinclair |
...Excuse me??? |
| Don Quixote |
Ah, Sinclair, do not take offense! I consider you as my prince! |
| Sinclair |
Oh, well that's- |
Meursault |
It's Gregor and Rodion. |
| Sinclair |
What? |
| Gregor |
Saulty bud, what are you talking about? |
| Meursault |
Going based off of the fact that it would be illogical for Heathcliff and Ishmael to get together due to Ishmael's romantic trauma with Queequeg and Heathcliff's apparently romantic trauma with someone we are unaware of, it cannot be them. |
| Heathcliff |
Catherine. Her name is Catherine. |
| Sinclair |
Who? |
| Heathcliff |
God damn it. |
| Meursault |
Would Faust or Yi Sang ever get together with anybody, I doubt either would be denying it as much as a meeting like this to be necessary. They would just be together. |
| Yi Sang |
Mmm. I concur. |
| Meursault |
Don Quixote just forcibly remembered 200 years of her past and then had to kill her father to continue both of their dreams. I doubt that her first priority would be anything related to love right now. |
| Don Quixote |
Mhm! No way Manager Esquire meant me. |
| Meursault |
By process of elimination, it has to be Gregor and Rodion. They have several mirror worlds that end up with them working within the same association, many of those within the same branch. |
| Meursault |
The most recent one is with them both being bloodfiends and Rodion being a whole generation of kindred higher than Gregor, which we can assume meant that Rodion is the reason Gregor became a bloodfiend in that world. |
| Rodion |
Meur, darling, I doubt that Dante meant- |
| Meursault |
Furthermore, within this world, Rodion was among the first within the group to attempt to make Gregor comfortable with his bug arm, albeit in a way which was somewhat unsuccessful at first, that being through her teasing and prodding. |
| Meursault |
They would go on to have several interactions thereafter, one of which sees Rodion calling for space for a day, implying that even with the unsuccessful attempt initially, Rodion and Gregor still became super close. |
| Meursault |
Their chemistry is obvious to everyone except for themselves, and yet they, to my knowledge, are not in a relationship yet. |
| Rodion |
T-This evidence feels circumstantial at best, I mean... I'm friendly with everyone on this bus. And I share quite a few groups with Ishy and Donqui as well. It doesn't mean anything. |
| Heathcliff |
Yeah, but to be fair, you and Greg act like an old married couple. |
| Gregor |
We do not! |
Hong Lu |
Yes you do~ You very much do! I swear you've complained about her to us like a husband would with his wife. |
| Rodion |
Greg? |
| Gregor |
N-No, they're just messing around. I-I don't even see Rodya as wife material! |
| Rodion |
GREG? |
| Gregor |
Wife material for *me,* you fool! Because we're friends, Rodya. |
| Rodion |
Oh... Y-Yeah, right. Duh. And because I'd definitely be the husband. |
| Gregor |
...What? |
| Rodion |
Well, like, *you're* the one with the wife dress EGO, Greg~ |
| Gregor |
Ah, shut up. Just shut up. |
| Hong Lu |
I would just like for you two to know that this is not helping the allegations~ |
| Hong Lu |
Actually, how long have you known about this for anyway, Meursault? |
| Meursault |
One of my alternative identities, my Rosespanner variant, has them as co-workers. |
| Meursault |
Apparenly, when the Manager would use that identity in conjunction with Gregor's and Rodion's, he had a tendency to take detailed notes on their friendship, most likely to distract himself from the many stacks of paperwork they kept piling onto him. |
| Hong Lu |
Oh, that doesn't sound too pleasant based on that tone. |
| Hong Lu |
But it sounds accurate! I feel like Gregor and Rodion would almost always find a way to stick with each other. |
| Gregor |
Look, even if we were in love- |
| Rodion |
Which we aren't. |
| Gregor |
Which we aren't, very important distinction, uh... why did this warrant a meeting, Manager Bud? |
| Dante |
<Because I am NOT going through that Erlking shit again, man.> |
| Gregor |
...The what? |
| Dante |
<That Erlking shit! The whole, like, y'know... the thing we dealt with at Wuthering Heights.> |
| Rodion |
Not exactly ringing a bell, Dante. |
| Dante |
<The alternative version of Heathcliff? Long hair? Crazy laugh? The Wild Hunt? Wanted to kill all Heathcliffs?> |
| Heathcliff |
Oh yeeeah, right, I remember what you're talking about. I don't think they will, though. He got erased with Cathy, remember? |
| Don Quixote |
Whomst? |
| Heathcliff |
God damn it. |
| Faust |
I am aware of this Erlking concept, but it being brought up now confuses me. Dante, what exactly are you theorizing? |
| Dante |
<There is a huge possibility that if Gregor and Rodion continue to deny their chemistry with each other in every mirror world, one of them may die in one of these worlds.> |
| Dante |
<Which, in turn, would cause a ripple effect so bad that it'd cause the one that lives to initiate a Wild Hunt on all the other living versions of themselves in every mirror world, blaming themselves for the death of the other.> |
| Faust |
And you are attempting to stop this by trying to convince Rodion and Gregor that they should be together in this world. |
| Dante |
<Yes.> |
| Faust |
And you believe this will solve the issue knowing that these events could still happen regardless of if you get these two specific versions of Rodion and Gregor within this world, our mirror world, to be together. |
| Dante |
<...Yes.> |
| Gregor |
Manager Bud, I appreciate the sentiment, but I can't help but feel like my friendship with Rodya has been entirely misconstrued. We're just... |
| Gregor |
We're just, uh... really close friends! |
| Rodion |
Mhm. We're besties. Really, really, really good besties. |
| Rodion |
Despite the fact that I call him babe basically all the time. |
| Gregor |
And the fact that I'm pretty sure I've slept on her shoulder more than once. |
| Dante |
<Guys I swear to god this so important, it is for the sake of all of our fucking lives please for the love of God listen to me.> |
| Dante |
<I know I'm a bit of a pushover but PLEASE listen.> |
| Ryoshu |
W.O.M.T. If I wanted to hear about the mad ramblings of the clinically insane, I would've stayed in a syndicate. |
| Sinclair |
Mmm... I don't want to suggest this line of thought, Dante, so I'll specify this is Ryoshu claiming it was a waste of her time. |
| Sinclair |
I-I'm, uh... well, I'd like to believe you! But if Gregor and Rodion both say there's nothing going on, shouldn't we be inclined to believe them too? |
| Dante |
<Guys...> |
| Meursault |
Yes, perhaps I have made an error somewhere within my speculations. |
| Meursault |
Nothing to lose sleep over, of course. |
| Ishmael |
Manager, I feel like whatever delusion Don Quixote left behind in La Manchaland, you ended up picking up. |
| Outis |
I don't even know if I can defend this one, Executive Manager. |
| Dante |
<WAIT, GUYS, PLEASE. I CAN'T DO IT AGAIN.> |
| Dante |
<FOUR SEPARATE FIGHTS WITH ERLKING HEATHCLIFF, MAN, I CAN'T DO IT AGAIN.> |
| Dante |
<I CAN'T DO IT! PLEASE, JUST HEAR ME OUT, THEY EVEN HAVE A SHIP NAME!> |
| Dante |
<IT'S RODIGOR!> |
| Heathcliff |
Okay, now you lost me. What kinda fuckin' tree carving shit is that? |
| Heathcliff |
Fucking "Rodigor 4ever" with a heart surrounding it type shit. |
| Rodion |
...I kinda find that cute, actually. Might steal that idea. |
| Heathcliff |
What? |
| Rodion |
Nothing. |
| Dante |
<GUYS!> |
Vergilius |
Danteh, we are close to Hong Lu's family home, Danteh. Do your dailies, Danteh. |
| Vergilius |
Send them to the Mirror Dungeon mines, Danteh. We need boxes. |
| Dante |
<GUYS!!!> |
|
Several cantos later...
|
Erlqueen Rodion |
Every Gregor... was destined... to be miserable. Because of Rodion. That is why I must kill every Rodion, in every world. |
| Dante |
<GOD FUCKING DAMN IT.> |
| Faust |
She appears to be summoning many pawnbrokers. Imperfect identities, summoned from worlds chosen at random. It is the fate that- |
| Dante |
<Yeah, yeah, it awaits all those who die to this Rodion, I KNOW.> |
| Dante |
<THIS IS WHAT I WAS TRYING TO AVOID.> |
| Faust |
...Faust recognizes you may have had a point, Dante. I would like to apologize on behalf of Faust for, quote unquote, "not being familiar with your game." |
| Don Quixote |
Where are the Manager Esquire Apology Forms? I-I must sign one posthaste... assuming we survive. |
| Dante |
<I might need to ask you to turn into Sancho for this one, not gonna lie.> |
| Erlqueen Rodion |
Every Rodion exists to give pain to every Gregor. |
| Rodion |
What in the fuck is this?? |
| Dante |
<THE CONSEQUENCES OF OUR ACTIONS.> |
| Gregor |
Well, look at it this way. At least you're special. |
| Rodion |
Yeah, but I'm special *and* evil! I don't like being evil, babe! |
| Gregor |
Like, three to four of your IDs beg to differ... |
| Rodion |
So do, like, three or four of yours. |
| Gregor |
Fair point. |
| Erlqueen Rodion |
Greg! |
| Gregor |
Huh? |
| Erlqueen Rodion |
You are here, somewhere! Where are you?! |
| Gregor |
...Right in front of you??? |
| Erlqueen Rodion |
Oh. Hi, Greg~ |
| Ryoshu |
Nice. She's also blind. |
| Ryoshu |
Means she won't see it coming when I S.Y.N.C. her. |
| Dante |
<THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK! SHE'S GONNA COME BACK LIKE FUCKIN' THREE TIMES!> |
| Ryoshu |
I will simply kill her three more times. I don't see the problem. |
| Dante |
<I WANTED TO AVOID THIS SHIT FOR A REASON, NOW WE'RE GONNA GET JUMPED BY PAWNBROKERS AND A TALL RUSSIAN WITH AN AXE THE SIZE OF MY DAMN HEAD!> |
| Rodion |
Well, jeez. Sorry, Dante~. I had no idea that me not confessing my love for Greg because of my own mounting insecurities revolving around my need to be liked and would've resulted in this much chaos. |
| Erlqueen Rodion |
Say that again? |
| Rodion |
Oh, yeah, no, I've been in love with the bug man for months. This whole trip, actually. |
| Erlqueen Rodion |
How are you able to say that so... casually??? |
| Gregor |
Wait, really? Funny you mention that, I've been returning those feelings the entire time without even knowing you had them to begin with. |
| Rodion |
Really now? |
| Gregor |
Yeah. Why'd you never say anything? |
| Rodion |
I never said anything because I have a crippling desire of needing to feel special, and confessing my love to anyone who could've potentially made me feel less than that would've killed me. |
| Rodion |
Why'd *you* never say anything? |
| Gregor |
Roach arm. And the soldier PTSD. |
| Rodion |
Fair. |
| Rodion |
...Wanna go out after this if we're still alive? |
| Gregor |
Fuck it, why not? The next place we go to is bound to have a good date spot or two. |
| Erlqueen Rodion |
Oh. |
| Erlqueen Rodion |
Oh, shit, wait, it's that easy? Was that all I had to say back then? |
| Ishmael |
Did you, like... |
| Ishmael |
Did you not think to do that? Ever? |
| Erlqueen Rodion |
Um... |
| Yi Sang |
Given how our Rodion reacted, I believe every Rodion must've overcalculated the effort it took in that exact same manner. |
| Heathcliff |
Just like me and Catherine... |
| Yi Sang |
My apologies, but who exactly? |
| Heathcliff |
GOD DAMN IT. |
| Ishmael |
Jesus. Guys, it's not that hard, like... *I* got into a relationship before. Me. Ishmael, the fucking boat nerd. It's legitimately not that hard. |
| Don Quixote |
Yes, I would like to agree with that notion. My father even achieved such an easy task. |
| Don Quixote |
And he's an actual delusional goof. One I appreciated, don't get me wrong, but delusional. |
| Faust |
Faust pulls bitches and stacks paper. It is truly not that hard. |
| Outis |
Okay, the other two I can somewhat believe, but name one bitch you have EVER pulled, Faust. |
| Faust |
Sinclair. |
| Sinclair |
WHAT? |
| Erlqueen Rodion |
...Alright, wow. I'm currently, uh... I'm feeling like my entire philosophy just turned into a lie. |
| Gregor |
You think? |
| Erlqueen Rodion |
Yeah, like, your mom showed me the mirror, and I kinda just *assumed* that meant every single Gregor- |
| Gregor |
Would die? |
| Erlqueen Rodion |
Would die, yeah. Because of me. |
| Gregor |
Yeah, no, pretty sure I'm still alive in a lot of universes. And working with you. |
| Erlqueen Rodion |
Oh, really? |
| Gregor |
Mhm. Did she only show you just the one and then- |
| Erlqueen Rodion |
Gaslight me into believing it was the truth? Yeah... yeah. I think that is what happened in hindsight. |
| Erlqueen Rodion |
So many bad bitches... dead because of me. |
| Erlqueen Rodion |
I, uh... fuck. I'm gonna go sort that out. In therapy. |
| Dante |
<...> |
| Hong Lu |
What just happened, haha~ |
| Sinclair |
I think we... I think we won. |
| Meursault |
Threat neutralized. |
| Don Quixote |
AND YET ANOTHER VICTORY FOR LIMBUS COMPANY! |
| Outis |
Executive Manager, I don't know what you did this time, but I'm sure your intelligence was what led us to this victory. Glory to Limbus Company! |
| Ryoshu |
Boring... I wanted to kill something. |
| Heathcliff |
Why couldn't my canto be that easy??? |
| Ishmael |
Because you're Heathcliff. Is anything easy with you? |
| Heathcliff |
Oh, fuck off. |
| Yi Sang |
I'm gonna kill the next person who uses my mirror for shit like this, I swear to God. |
| Faust |
Faust would advise against that. |
| Yi Sang |
Why do you- |
Erlking Yi Sang |
Every Yi Sang... was destined... to be miserable. Because of people meddling with his mirror. |
| Dante |
<WHY THE FUCK-> |
