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The Zeta Tube flashes, announcing Konner’s presence throughout the sleepy tower. Cool air rushes through the vents. Crisp and gentle enough to chill his beaded forehead and he takes a moment. He stands there under the vent, eyes closed with relief.
Another moment passes and he opens them, making his way into Titans Tower.
The living area is empty save for a few abandoned xbox controllers and a box of pizza. Jaime and Bart's shoes are tipped against one another. Laces loose and socks still peaking through. Blankets are thrown across the couch, spilling down the arm rests. Red splatters and stray pepperonis are perched innocently amongst the soft fibers.
Kon takes a deep breath in, appreciating the mix of scents that are so different from the Kent's farm house. Pepperoni pizza, of course, greets his nose first along with the underlining hints of wet dog and Cassie’s cooling mint shampoo. He catches stained scents of burnt popcorn and he smiles.
Nothing’s changed.
Shuffling down the metal halls, the raven haired boy slides past the kitchen and towards the living quarters. He can’t even conceive how long it’s been since he’s stepped foot in the tower. Yet, every turn is the same. The dents in the walls are still present after all these years and the skid marks of Bart’s shoes proudly displayed with the scotch marks of Ravens spells remain. Making it hard to fully grasp his time away.
Approaching his door, Kon stands still, letting the scanner recognize him. It takes less than a second before the door beeps welcomingly, opening with a small puff of stale air.
He sets his duffle bag on the floor next to a pile of his dirty shirts. His desk is still overflowed with computer bits and papers. Tools strung about on the surface, some half on, and others abandoned atop the carpeted floor. Mugs with various different teas and hot chocolates dried on the bottoms take up his nightstand as usual. Stacked dangerously like the Mad Hatters tea table.
He checks below and notes the plates of unfinished sandwiches and the like have thankfully been taken away. Probably due to the smell that even he can still sense lingers in the slightly dusty air.
He huffs, dropping down into his unmade bed and flops across it bonelessly. It’s like he never left.
Everything preserved.
Suspended in time.
The moon shines through tinted windows with a rare luminosity. A cloudless night on the edge of Jump City’s bay. If he strains he can hear the rush of cars. Honks in the far distance coupled with the few sleepy calls of seagulls.
Only the brightest stars sparkle in the city sky and Kon feels somewhat whole again. He needed this. To stay at the tower is all he asked Clark for when Konner got… back.
…
The Kent farm is a home.
Ma and Pa are wonderful and the quiet days were nice for a time. The manual labor was and still is a wonderful distraction. Blanking his mind and putting him to sleep as soon as his head graced the feathered pillow of his borrowed bed.
Living in the moment wasn’t the problem.
It was the nights where all was still. When the wind barely even strolled past the long grass. An absence of rustling leaves or twinkling chimes. Where the crickets ceased their chirping and even the cicadas refused to buzz. Dark nights in a dark house that held its breath. Wood unsettled like him long into the night. His bed springs creaking with every movement. Whipping his body back, forth, around, and over. Unable to quell the frantic thoughts vibrating like a speedster.
In those hours Kon longed for the city. Longed for a sound, a voice, a rustle, a creak, a horn, a siren. Anything to focus on. Anything to direct his mind.
To stop thinking.
In a desperate attempt at sanity and a chance at sleep due to the increase of his insomnia bouts, Kon made a choice.
Just for tonight.
Soft snores echo from down the hall, deep breaths mingle throughout, and the city is alive.
In a bed that’s truly his, Kon kicks off his slides and turns into his old pillow. Pulling the fluffy blanket over his shoulder and breathing deeply as his tightly wound limbs sink to the floor.
The scent of acidity, pens, and espresso floods his senses. He hums, too tired to think too far into the familiar yet misplaced combination.
Kon pushes his face into the pillow harder. Everything in this room is stale with dust. Scents lingering, but faded.
His pillow, his blanket, his mattress all smell familiar and coated. Layers of smoke and grounds embedded into the fabric.
It’s recent.
It’s so…
The thought clings to the tip of his tongue and unlike the answer he feels tipping back over the edge, he falls further into the embrace of sleep with the surety of rest.
__
“You know this isn’t exactly what I was picturing when you asked if I wanted to go to the park with you tonight, Rob.” Superboy huffs, floating on his back beside Robin who has his eyes fixated in a set of binoculars. They’re positioned on a low building directly across from Gothams Robinson Park.
The night is wet and chilled. Dew getting a head start, sticking to all surfaces long before the sun decides to peek above the skyline. The rustle of leaves is a rare thing. Wind slow and inconsistent. A beautiful night with hardly any clouds, however lightless as many Gotham nights are.
No twinkle in the void, not even a moon to follow the people of this city.
What the shadows do to blanket the alleys, the signal against the smog makes up for the lack of celestial presence.
The air is slightly cleaner in this section of Gotham. Hardly any businesses or even cars on the road to smog up the air too much, yet it still coats his skin. Clinging in a way that is just…Gotham. It clumps his hair as he runs his fingers through it. Making his curls weigh heavy on his forehead
“What were you expecting?”
Kon shrugs, spinning over to his side to face Robin. “Not a stakeout.”
Tim smirks, sliding the binoculars down and tilting his white-eyed gaze towards him, “If not this then what? A picnic? At three in the morning? Come on SB, you know me better than that.” He snorts a short laugh, soft and breathy.
“I do.” Kon sighs out, “Unfortunately.” He tacks on gruffly, the first part far too swooning than their normal banter.
A soft shove to the shoulder is his reward and silence settles back around them.
Hours, yet seconds, or maybe days pass. The sky is a canvas the artist can’t seem to decide on. Filling in and out.
Clear skies to cloudy, day and night again.
Their two bodies remain unmoved. Robin in the corner of his vision, blurred and statuette. Perched in an unnatural static state. Like a gargoyle sentinel above the dark streets.
In a motion, Kon and Tim are walking. Strolling like civilians across the slick road and onto spiky grass.
A split minute of courage guides his hand into Tim’s. Fingers tangling and he dares to look up.
Baby blue eyes match in adoration to his silver.
The moment freezes.
The grassy ground pulls them down into itself. Their eyes never leave each other's orbit. Pillowed heads close enough to rest together.
Hands woven, melting into one.
Konner basks in the warm sun, speckled through the large oak trees. The sun warmed skin of his cheek grows cool with the porcelain strokes of his Robin’s nimble fingers.
His eyes close, afterimages of that blue gracing the back of his eyelids. He idly wishes it stays pressed there forever.
Tim’s hands pull away and a gentle hum rises up out of his throat. He can feel eyes on his face. On his lips.
A wave of clarity peels its way through his blissed mind and he dares not open his eyes. Letting Tim make the move. The scent of smoggy pen ink dances around his nose and he leans forward just enough for Robin to close the gap.
“Tim.” He sighs out, breath picking up with his pounding heart.
A breeze rustles the leaves above and the cloudy sky blankets them in a soft light.
Heat fans on his cheek and he realizes their faces must be millimeters apart. His eyes stay shut. He should wait, but can’t and he unleashes the burning question that has occupied his mind since they first met. “Can I kiss you?”
His muffled words seem to echo in the expanse of the field behind the old Kent barn.
Years pass and he finally chances a peek. To catch those powdery eyes and longingly gaze at those bitten lips.
Long grass dancing back and forth enters his sight. The wind is the conductor, but that is all that's there. With a start he sits up and- and he’s alone.
Was Tim ever there?
The wind picks up and thunder rumbles in the distance. A fleeting shape flutters towards the rolling clouds. His wings beating and going up and up and forward.
He’s too high.
He’s too close.
Where is Tim?
Where is-
_
Konners eyes spring open with a flinch. The emotions of the night coursing through his half awakened mind. He shoots out of his bed and bolts down the hallway.
Tim.
Where’s Tim?
The boy’s scent clings to his sleep clothes and all Kon can concentrate on is him.
Their rooms were never that far apart. Barely down the hall, about two doors down. However, the panicked state of his mind makes the trip feel like an eternity. He jitters and impatiently waits for the door to recognize him.
A chirp sounds and the metal doors slide open slowly. He slips in before it can reach the other side of its frame and approaches the messy bed.
A bed that's empty.
The door hasn’t even begun to close as Kon sprints out. His eyes are still blurred from sleep. His mind solely focused on finding Tim.
Rooms and doors pass by. He checks the training mats, the living room, even the damn kitchen and nothing.
Turning down another corner he finds a light radiating into the hall from what he thinks is the security room.
With no hesitation Konner practically flies to check. His head swinging around the frame in a blur of motion not even he could keep up with. His eyes sting with the sudden intake of light, but manage to concentrate enough to recognize the hunched form.
“Tim.” Kon whispers, taking note of the slow rise of the thin boys back. His head pillowed on his crossed arms and the occasional snore catching in the back of his throat.
The sour scent of Gotham’s dew greets his nose along with the hint of old coffee. His mind finally connects the smells soaked into his bedding.
“Oh Tim.” He sighs, softly padding over to his best friend. Thick charcoal locks hide his face from Konner, so he simply guides them around Tim’s ear.
Thin, bruised skin greets him and he can’t help but suck in a sharp breath.
The Tim he remembers was fair, but lightly sun-kissed. Warmth across his cheeks and nose. A small cluster of faint freckles dusting here and there. His eyes held small bags from long days and little rest. His hair was always perfectly styled and cut short in a slight bowl cut. Kon remembers bullying him for it often.
That boy isn’t who he sees now.
Who he sees is a worn man. Skin so papery it’s translucent. Kon can trace his every vein down to the collar of his shirt. His eyes are a bit red and swollen from rubbing. Dark purple embedded under his lower lids. Longer days and no rest it seems. Stress evident in his tight shoulders. His hair is overgrown and dulled. More of a mullet than anything.
He looks so different. Older. The difference between then and now is so stark in his mind. He glides his thumb across the dark bruises above his cheek. His Tim is… different.
Kon’s hand is smacked away in a split second, sharp blue eyes boring into gunmetal gray. Tim’s chest is heaving. He sees the moment Tim realizes who he is. His eyes widen a fraction and suddenly the contact breaks as he looks down. Wound limbs sink into the chair below him.
“Konner?” He rasps, voice thick as he swallows and Kon’s heart lurches.
“Um… Hey.” He stumbles, mind blanking in the presence of Tim . Kon realizes he hasn’t seen him since…
It’s been awhile.
This is the first time they've been together in person since Kon’s been back. Infrequent texts in the group chat with the other Titans being their new dynamic which had been fine. Welcome even in Kon’s shaky recovery.
Now, however, he’s ready to slip back into their old dynamic. Hell, once he finally received permission for visitors he immediately invited everyone over to the farm the following Friday.
Well, It’s Thursday night and his mind just couldn’t seem to wait.
Either way, Kon wants things to fall back into place and it starts here. Sooner than planned, but of course it’s never too early to start.
“Hi.” Tim replies, “What’re you doing here so late? Thought you weren’t allowed off the farm.” He questions, stubbornly gluing his eyes to Kon’s chin.
Konner squints his own and tilts his head down in an attempt to catch Tim’s allusive gaze, but his friend swiftly turns his attention to his picked raw nail beds.
A forced nonchalance permeates.
Kon sighs, and plays along. Leaning back against the door frame and crossing his arms. “I’m not, but… I- I needed to-...” He huffs, complicated thoughts and feelings all trying at once to spill forth into the air between them. “I couldn’t sleep and…”
“And?”
Come on Konner, can’t chicken out now.
“And, you- Well, you never responded.” Kon states evenly, keeping his voice steady and non accusatory.
Tim tilts his head cutely and furrows his brows, “Responded to what?” His eyes flick up, but never make it past Kon’s neck before dropping back down in a bit of a startle.
“The group chat.” He simply answers, “Whether or not you’re coming to the farm tomorrow night?”
Tim takes a deep breath, “Right, right.”
He bites the corner of his bottom lip and Kon can’t help but zone in on the action. So much so, he almost misses Tim’s next words.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure if-”
“Tim.” Konner barks his name out in a panic. He didn’t mean to, however he couldn’t help the fear that shocked through his heart. That finally brings Tim’s head up and away from his hands. He still avoids Kon’s eyes for some reason, but he’s looking at him. “Please.” Kon’s voice sounds wrecked. Shaky and cracking in a way he himself hasn’t heard before.
“...Ok” He swallows thickly, head falling back down with every little nod he mindlessly bobs, “Ok, I’ll be there.”
__—_____________________—__
“There's a list of emergency contacts on the fridge, but if you need anything don’t hesitate to call us.” Ma reminds Kon, smoothing out his shoulders and Konner can’t help but roll his eyes.
“Ma.” He states simply, grabbing her hand in his.
Pa comes in through the screen door before he can reassure her, grabbing Ma’s suitcases from the floor. Creating enough of a pause for Ma to continue.
“There's a small storm coming your way so make sure to lock everything up tight, hun. It’ll be hitting tonight so you and your friends need to stay indoors. You’ll Call us if anything goes wrong, riiiight?.” She reasserts.
Pa chimes in while her gaze bores into Kon’s skull. ”Don’t want ya swept up like little Dorthy.” He chuckles before looking into Konner’s eyes as well. Whatever he sees seems to dwindle his smirk, reducing it to a furrowed brow. His jaw tightens at his temples and he shakes his head, placing the bags back down. “You know what, maybe we should postpone. Move our flight to tomorrow just incase-”
“No.” Konner doesn’t mean to interrupt and knows they taught him better than that, but he also knows Pa and if Kon lets him continue with that sentence he might just stay. “I can handle it, promise.”
Pa opens his mouth to mostly likely argue, but Ma lightly elbows him in the gut and he lets out an oof instead. She shakes her head at him before turning back to Konner. “We know you can, but we still worry. No matter how invincible you are, you're still our kid and we just got you… Oh dear, we just got you back.” Her voice crumples and her eyes grow dewy. Her weathered hand covers her mouth and she turns into Pa’s shoulder for a moment. “I’m sorry Konner.” She sniffs and turns back to him with a genuine, but small smile, “Have fun tonight. Just be safe.”
Kon nods his own strained smile and stoops down to grab the large set of luggage. “I will.” He states placing a kiss on the side of her cheek and letting Pa ruffle his tangled hair before slipping out the door to load their truck.
_
The sun is setting behind the horizon right when a black SUV pulls up the driveway. The engine barely clicks off before the slam of a door sounds and frantic feet patter up the porch steps.
“Dude!” Bart shouts, leaping through the old wooden door and straight into Konner’s open arms.
Kon huffs into the ginger's wiry shoulder “Bro.” He squeezes and lifts the teen up until his long legs are off the ground. The rubble of laughter he feels against his chest is what he’s been missing in these past few months.
He pops Bart up once more then lets him go with his own breathy laugh just as a green shape fly's straight through the door before morphing into a large dog, tackling Kon and Bart to the floor.
He giggles with Bart as a furry arm circles his neck, squeezing both of them to Gar's chest. “Gar.” He chuckles out, wrapping his own arm around his back in return. The wild boy sniffs softly and burrows his head in the section where Bart and Konner’s shoulders meet. His excited smile melts slightly at the sight of Garfield's shoulders shaking along with the growing wet patch on his sleeve. Konner pats his shoulder blades, rubbing up and down in what he hopes is soothing, but only seems to make the kid cry a bit harder. “Hey, buddy it’s alright.”
“Yeah.” Bart chimes in, following Kon’s pattern with a tad more speed, “I mean, this is flattering and all but you’re getting snot and tears all over my new shirt… so up.”
Garfield lets out a teary groan, lifting his head up “You’re such a jerk.” A few stray tears drag down his face and he roughly wipes them while getting off of them.
Barts zips up onto his feet in a flash, “Takes one to know one bitch.” He shouts, blowing a raspberry, and sprinting out the door. Gar lets out an undignified squawk and bares his sharp teeth in a smile. He barrels through the open door with a yell, barely dodging Cassie on the way out.
The various take out containers sway dangerously in her arms and she yelps out a short, “Garfield!” The boxes begin to slip and she whips her head back around with wide eyes, “Shit-” Kon makes an aborted lunge towards her, managing to catch the first falling box. He quickly goes to grab the rest, but that’s when Tim slides up beside her and steadies them before they all could fall into Kon’s ready arms.
Once the stack is deemed stable enough he gathers them all and heads to the kitchen without a word.
Kon watches his back for a minute too long. Turning back to Cassie he pulls her into a rough hug and she returns it with just as much force. “Hey.” He greets and she squeezes him harder before letting him go.
Her gaze floats distractedly towards where Tim disappeared with a strained looked. She breathes in and swings a punch at Konner’s shoulder, slipping past him towards the living room.
_
“I saw that!” Gar shrieks, pre-pubescent voice breaking. His finger is aggressively pointing at Bart’s innocent face.
Amber eyes look around the room in a faux confusion that’s a tad overplayed and the rest of them all just sigh. He finally settles back to Garfield, resting his fan of cards against his chest.
“Saw what?” He barely keeps a smirk from growing on his furrowed face. Kon watches the kid’s cards closely. They stay pressed to his chest, but a slight twitch pulls his attention and there is now one less card.
Garfield gapes, “You just did it again!”
Kon and Cassie groan at the same time and they both slam down their cards. “Come on Bart.” he huffs, rubbing his dry eyes to pull the sleep from them, “You can’t keep doing this man.”
The wicked smile fully envelops his face now and even Tim, who's been relatively silent all night, huffs a laugh on his right. “All's fair in love and war.” Bart shrugs.
“This is Uno dipshit and it’s no fun when you keep cheating.” Gar shoots back
“You can just say I’m a better player instead of making up all these lies .”
Garfield launches to his feet and wastes no time in pouncing, tackling the laughing boy.
Kon barks a laugh himself.
This is why they can never play Uno or really any card game. Bart can’t resist practicing his sleight of hand and Garfield can’t control his righteous temper.
Cassie has checked out at this point as usual. Posing her phone to record their little spat to share in the larger group chat later. Konner has a feeling she may also share them with Diana considering that one time the woman complimented Garfield's grappling form out of the blue.
A warmth blooms in his chest as the gentle rain patters against the window beside him. The cozy lamp light softens the brawl in the creaking house. Shouts and curses a balm to Konner’s restless mind.
This late into the night would be totally silent with just him here.
Ma and Pa are already such mouse-like people. Always so conscientious of his enhanced hearing that they move like feathers.
This is what he was missing.
The fight gets to be a bit less playful and Cassie ends the video, setting her phone down. She approaches with a few yells of ‘break it up’ and ‘no biting.’ All very typical, however always hilarious.
Especially for Kon at the moment.
His smile widens and he turns to see Tim’s reaction. To spy his exasperated face, his pouty lips quirking up at the corners. His eyes taking on a stern yet warm glow when he eventually joins in breaking up the two teens.
Only the space beside him is empty and the sound of the back door clicking gently shut goes off like a bomb in Konner’s ears
_
Through the window Kon sees a figure on the porch. The rain is falling harder now, wind pushing it to the side. Lightning strikes in the distance silently. The storm is still far for his heart to slow enough to not rip the door off its hinges when he walks through.
The slapping of water is almost deafening above their heads. The metal roof amplifies it ten fold outside.
“Tim.”
Tim is standing further ahead, stiff as a board. Arms hugging his chest like he wants to curl into himself. Konner is sure Tim can hear him, but he doesn’t turn. Doesn’t make a sound.
“Tim.” He reaches out to rest his hand onto his shoulder like usual.
Tim steps to the side and Konner’s hand hovers awkwardly in place.
Silence stretches…
And stretches…
Thunder finally reaches the house.
“I can’t do this.”
Kon blinks, “Tim?”
The man's shoulders rise and fall with a heaving breath. The intake sharp and his voice is thick, “I’m sorry Konner, but I can’t- I” Another sharp gasp.
His composure is cracking and Kon, without thinking, slides his hand to Tim’s mid back. His whole body draws tight like a bow under his palm and his arm is shoved away in the next second.
“Don’t!” Tim shouts.
Back facing him.
Not even looking at him and Konner’s temper flares. He grabs his arm and tries to spin Tim around, however he isn’t having it.
Kons shoulder twists uncomfortably and his cheek gets slammed into the red brick of the house. Kon growls, attempting to turn and Tim’s grip tightens, “Don’t.”
Kon could break out of this hold anytime he wants. Super strength making things like this a cake walk. He could easily spin around and force Tim’s face up. Make him finally meet his eyes.
“Why?” Kon rasps, a sting in his eyes clogging his throat as he continues, “Why won’t you look at me?”
He goes limp in Tim’s hold. Body sinking in defeat.
Tim stays silent behind him.
Kon swallows thickly, ignoring the tears beginning to pool in his eyes, “Why can’t I touch you anymore? What’s changed? Are you upset that I- that I-I…?”
Konner presses his face into the rough brick harder, squeezing his eyes tight. He shudders in breaths. Trying to hold back the flood of emotion burning ravines down his cold face.
Tim gasps and Konner’s arm falls limply to his side.
“No!” Tim yells thinly. The sound is like an ice pick, too close to his ears and he tenses. Tim is breathing heavily now, “No no no Konner, no-”
Konner spins around suddenly, emotions haywire and his anger spikes again at Tim’s avoidant eyes. “Then why!? You don’t call, you don’t text!” Konner is far from being patient now. He figured they just needed some quality time to warm back up. To fall back in place. Like Bart and Cassie and Garfield.
But not Tim.
Why not Tim?
Kon doesn’t stop stalking towards him. Tim back-steps for every foot Konner shoves forward and he is livid. He barely notices when they walk off the porch. Or when the thunder had gotten so close.
“Konner let’s just-”
“Tell me why, Tim!”
“Calm down, we can talk when-”
“No! Just tell me.”
“Konner please-”
“Look at me and explain to me why you can’t stand to be around me now!”
“ Kon!” Tim sobs out and Kon finally asks what he needs to know. The question bursts out of him before he can even think about it.
“Why do you hate that I came back!”
Kons back hits the sloppy ground with a splat. He goes to buck his hips, but stops when bruise framed eyes, so very blue, invade his vision.
“Because you haven’t changed!” Tim roars, lightning emphasizing his fury like a whip behind him. He’s panting above Konner. Hips straddling his midsection and shaking hands digging into his shoulders.
The light in the dark sky leaves and so does the rage in those powdery eyes.
“And I have.” He hiccups, falling forward into Kon’s chest, “I have.”
His sobs are loud and painful. Hands bunching into Kon’s sleep shirt as he wails, choking on inhales that seem to scrap his throat.
Kon’s hands move without thought and he wraps Tim in his arms. Pressing him tight and burying his face into soaking wet hair.
He can’t tell how long they stayed like that.
Seconds?
Hours?
Eventually, Their absence is noticed.
Eventually they’ll be scurrying back into the old farm house, cold and wet. A lecture from Cassie, a few mean comments from Bart, and nervous help from Gar will be waiting for them.
For one of them the chill will not leave.
For one of them they will ache and an absent comment about a certain missing organ will cause concern enough to use that contact list hanging on the fridge.
But, their eyes will meet longer.
Their touches will linger.
And things will be different.