Chapter Text
Akaashi remembered the first time his father introduced him to the Bokuto Family heir, Bokuto Koutaro. Akaashi also remembered the first time he realized he absolutely, undeniably, hated him. He remembered he was only eight years old when he first met Bokuto, and only eight when the boy, only a year older, had tackled him to the ground while he was reading, losing his favourite book to the garden fountain in the process.
Of course, Bokuto had just laughed, shouting non-sense about how if he was going to take over the family business, he should learn to be more alert.
“What if I don’t want to take over my father’s position?”
Bokuto made a strangled gawking noise, “but being the family boss is awesome! Have you seen my dad!” he boasted proudly.
Akaashi supressed an eye roll, “yes,” he began, “however the rest of your family is loud and chaotic.”
“I don’t know what chaotic means, but Asahi isn’t loud! Neither is Kiyoko!” Bokuto said in defence.
Akaashi hadn’t known it then, but this would be the first of many, many fights between him and Bokuto. Most of those fights began when Bokuto took his teasing too far and ended up destroying something of Akaashi’s, which was often, and the rest came from Akaashi’s utter lack of interest in taking after his father. His hatred wasn’t even due to a family rivalry, the discontent solely lied with Bokuto, and Bokuto alone.
Whether or not Bokuto hated him or not, it was really anyone’s guess. However, Akaashi figured Bokuto had to hate him just as much, especially since the older still picked on Akaashi like an incessant third grader. Bokuto would even go out of his way to annoy Akaashi whenever the two families had get-togethers. This time was no exception to that rule.
Akaashi had just come back from his room to grab other book when he saw Bokuto standing with Kuroo, another member of the Bokuto Family, looking suspicious. Thinking they were planning another prank on Tsukishima, a member of his Family, he simply shrugged it off and headed back towards his folding chair by the bonfire.
Mistake.
As soon as Akaashi sat down, he plummeted through the chair and landed harshly on the grass as he cursed loudly in shock. A loud roar of laughter came from across the courtyard and Akaashi’s head immediately snapped up to face the noise, watching as Bokuto and Kuroo threw their heads back and clutched at their sides. With a low growl in his throat, Akaashi attempted, and, he really did try, to stand up, but the lawnchair refused to relinquish him from confinement. Granted, he did manage to stand, sort of, because the chair had him sticking out his ass like some kind of wounded duck. This… unfortunate event only lead Bokuto too practically keel over, banging his fist on the ground like this was the funniest thing he had ever seen in his life.
Despite his impairment, he strode (hobbled) over to the two boys angrily, “what is your guys’ problem?!”
“N-now, now, Ak-kaashi,” Kuroo managed between wheezing for air, “if yo-you talk like that who’s-who’s gonna help you get out?”
Akaashi spared a glance at Bokuto, who was still on the ground, laughing like an idiot.
“I’ll help you out, Akaashi-san,” a voice from behind him said.
Akaashi turned to see Daichi, a member of his Family, and gratefully nodded, thanking him for the help.
Kuroo pouted, “Daichi-san, why’d you ruin the fun?”
“Why did you two ruin a perfectly good lawn chair?” Daichi shot back.
“It was all in good fun, right Akaashi?” Bokuto grinned, repeatedly smacking Akaashi’s back like he was burping a toddler, however Bokuto used more force than a loving parent ever should.
Akaashi pushed Bokuto’s hand away and straightened himself out, turning back to Daichi, “thank you again, Daichi-san.”
Daichi nodded back, saying not to worry about it before he rejoined Sugawara, another Bokuto Family member, back on the deck attached to the manor.
“Akaashi! You should have seen your face! You totally weren’t expecting that! Normally, you wouldn’t even sit down!” Bokuto gushed, buzzed off of his victory.
Akaashi sighed and reminded himself not to yell at Bokuto in front of both families. While it was common knowledge the two hated each other, Akaashi tried to keep his anger to a minimum when they were in large groups. Nearly every time Akaashi reprimanded Bokuto for something, Bokuto would get in a huff about it because, whatever he had done, was just a prank.
“Just a prank” included things like putting lube on every door nob and handle in both Akaashi’s bedroom and bathroom, taking the ink filters out of all of his pens and the lead out of his mechanical pencils (Akaashi swore to only buy wood pencils after that incident), hiding his novels and replacing them with erotic manga, crazy-gluing a rainbow tentacle dildo to his bedroom wall, and replacing the contents of all Akaashi’s shower gels, soaps, shampoo’s, and basically anything used for cleaning his body, with hot sauce. Those were only the pranks he had done in the past year.
“Bro, I think Akaashi might actually be pissed,” Kuroo elegantly pointed out, “look, he’s shaking, bro.”
“Akaashi?” Bokuto asked quietly.
Akaashi sighed heavily and unclenched his hands, but he was still shaking. Bokuto and Kuroo were looking at him like he had grown a second head, and he didn’t realize why. After a moment, he realized it was because he was laughing, loudly and bitterly, eyes almost tearing as a side effect.
“Uh… Akaashi?” Kuroo muttered, sounding almost concerned. After all, it wasn’t like Akaashi to laugh at one of their pranks.
When Akaashi had finally stopped his onslaught of laughter, he turned to address Bokuto, smiling, “If you want a war, that’s what I’ll give you.”
-~-
That’s what he had said, but honestly, he was lacking in the creativity department when it came to pranks, that was more Bokuto’s area of expertise. Akaashi shuttered at that thought, did he actually just compliment Bokuto on something? At least Akaashi knew he was smarter than Bokuto, so he could use that to his advantage; he also knew all of Bokuto’s habits, call it experience.
After many hours sitting behind a computer screen, looking up ideas, Akaashi had a full plan consisting of at least one prank a week. Obviously, he couldn’t start with a bang, and he knew exactly what to start with.
In his journey through the internet, he came across a particular website whose specialty was in sending people awful prank gifts. This website was going to be the source of two of his pranks, those would be the first one, and the one that would be oh-so graciously delivered to Bokuto on his birthday.
-~-
Skip ahead a week and Akaashi was getting a call on his cellphone. He picked it up and saw that the caller was Bokuto. Smiling to himself, he put it on speaker, and was he ever glad he did.
“BRO WHY?!” Bokuto shouted through the phone, “once would have been whatever, but twice?! Twice?!”
Akaashi slapped a hand over his mouth, he was right, he knew Bokuto would fall for it twice.
“Bokuto-san, it’s your own fault for not checking the address on the letters before you open them.”
“Akaashi, do you even know how hard it is to get rid of glitter?! Do you?!” Bokuto screeched.
Akaashi chuckled, “I’m glad you liked your cards full of glitter.”
Bokuto groaned, “Akaashi, what have I ever done to you?”
Unable to resist the temptation, Akaashi rolled his eyes and glared down at the phone, “well one thing would be putting oil all over my bathroom floor, as well as in the shower.”
“A joke, Akaashi, a joke! Why can’t you—”
Akaashi hung up, he had to get to work on planning his next prank.