Chapter Text
Lumine has added 10+ students to unnamed groupchat
Venti has renamed the groupchat to psychiatric waiting room
psychiatric waiting room
Sat, 12:19 AM
Lumine: why do u get to choose the name???
Aether: bruh i wanted to name it daddy’s fastest swimmers
Jean: absolutely not
Hu Tao: 💀
Venti: omg hu tao bestie
Hu Tao: omg venti bestie
Shinobu: oh, so you’re hu tao
Hu Tao: you know who i am???
Shinobu: yanfei told me about you
Hu Tao: oh no
Nilou: hello everyone!!! why are we all gathered here?
Venti: nilouuuu hiiiii
Venti: unofficial gay groupchat
Shinobu: makes sense
Shinobu: from what ik u all seem fruity
Furina: OMG VENTI BESTIEE
Venti: FURINA BESTIEE
Furina: ZHONGLI BESTIEE
Zhongli: Hi Furina
Hu Tao: FURINA
Furina: HU TAO
Hu Tao: WHERE IS YOUR BROTHER (??)
Furina: mother
Hu Tao: my bad
Hu Tao: WHERE IS YOUR MOTHER
Neuvillette: Furina.
Hu Tao: HIIIII
Neuvillette: Hello, Hu Tao
Neuvillette: Furina. I am not your mother
Furina: ofc ofc
Furina: …mother
Neuvillette: Furina.
Lumine: not neuvillette giving birth at the ripe old age of four (??) years old
Neuvillette: Lumine.
Lumine: im sorry
Aether: nah that’s crazy
Aether: bro folded so fast
Lumine: perish
Jean: Lumine
Jean: is there a reason we are all in this groupchat?
Jean: I dont know everyone here. though i have a sinking feeling that will be changing
Nahida: I think this is a wonderful opportunity!! So many new faces!!
Wanderer: tf are you doing here?? arent you like ten
Nahida: You know I am a lot older than that
Aether: Lumine why do we have an eleven (???) year old here
Aether: and why is bro named wanderer
Wanderer: what are you a cop? mind your damn business
Raiden: hello kunikuzushi
Wanderer: you dont get to call me that. go back to your country
Raiden: we are from the same country we are literally siblings
Wanderer: nuh uh
Tartaglia: IS THAT SCARAMOUCHE
Wanderer: TF STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU ROACH
Tartaglia: EXCUSE ME???
Lumine: childe shut up
Tartaglia: bruh what
Lumine: i have created this group chat to make an announcement
Lumine: @everyone
Lumine: 🫵 gay
Aether: this is why your adopted
Lumine: stfu fuckmunch
Lumine: okay but fr who wants to see a video of Neuvillette beating the shit out of childe
Tartaglia: DELETE THAT
Hu Tao: SHOW
Furina: SEND
Venti: PLEASE
Lumine: [childgettinghisshitdestroyed.jpg]
Beidou: THIS IS THE SHORTEST FIGHT IVE EVER SEEN
Venti: LMAOAO PLEASE
Wanderer: pathetic
Sat, 4:38 PM
Venti: PARTY AT ZHONGLI’S DORM
Zhongli: excuse me??
Venti: youre excused!!!
Zhongli: bitch
Venti: fucker
Venti: anyways WHOEVER IS FREE TONIGHT IT WONT BE A CRAZY PARTY JUST DRINKING, A MOVIE OR TWO, AND TIPSY PRESENTATIONS
Venti: also i need to do my wordle before midnight so like
Lumine: not the wordle…
Ningguang: is there a reason youre taking over the geo dorms for this?
Venti: is it a crime to harass zhongli on the anniversary of the day we met?
Zhongli: yes
Aether: can i ask a question?
Zhongli: you just did
Venti: go ahead!!
Aether: are you two dating?? dont feel pressured to answer i was just curious
Lumine: ^^
Lumine: this totally has nothing to do with a bet we made
Aether: yes this is a very innocent question with no money at stake whatsoever!!
Zhongli: no
Venti: ew no
Zhongli: Ew?? The audacity. I am approaching your location as we speak.
Venti: LMAO NONONO IM SORRY
Venti: STAY BACK
Venti: please dont kill me im just a little guy
Lumine: why does he know your location
Aether: fellas is it gay to know your homie’s location
Beidou: its only gay if your feet touch
Zhongli: I will break all of the bones in your body and eat them Venti
Lumine: source?
Beidou: trust
Venti: I will rip out your intestines, turn it to a soup, and give it to ganyu!!
Ganyu: huh???
Zhongli: i will gouge out your eyes, rip out your spine, turn them into a necklace, and feed it to Albedo
Albedo: WHAT
Ganyu: WHAT DID WE DO TO YOU
Venti: sorry you were the first liyuean i thought of
Venti: well actually i thought pf xiao first but he might murder me so
Zhongli: I don’t know many Mondstadtians so I picked the first name on the list. No hard feelings Albedo.
Amber: didnt albedo eat a spider once
Albedo: shut up it was for science
Jean: what is going on here
Albedo: haven't you ever wondered how a spider tasted like? it actually wasn’t as bad as i anticipated
Jean: nvm I hope to never see you again
Jean: i will talk about all of you in therapy
Albedo: fair
Venti: anyways who’s joining
Venti: Xiao you have to come
Xiao: I was going to go anyways??
Venti: just making sure!!
Venti: Ganyu? Keqing? Beidou? Ningguang will be there
Ningguang: says who
Venti: it’s your dorm building?? also im bringing the good wine
Ningguang: okay I’ll stay then
Keqing: can we have charcuterie
Beidou: do you have snacks
Ganyu: can we make our own charcuterie board
Venti: idk if me and zhongli can afford all that
Ningguang: it’s not that expensive???
Venti: you underestimate our brokenness
Lumine: can i come?
Lumine: also just ask childe to buy shit
Xiao: NO
Venti: omg ur right i forgot about zhongli’s sugar daddy
Xiao: gouging my eyes out as we speak
Aether: yummy
Xiao: blocked
Aether: im sorry it was the demons
Lumine: youre a demon
Aether: bitch and youre adopted
Venti: @Tartaglia
Venti: now why isnt he responding ik he aint busy
Venti: @Tartaglia
Venti: @Tartaglia
Venti: @Tartaglia
Tartaglia: WHAT
Venti: heyyy
Venti: can you send mora to buy charcuterie materials and other snacks for a small party
Venti: an intimate get together if you will!!
Tartaglia: no just stop being broke
Venti: damn guess imma tell zhongli we’ll have no charcuterie or snacks
Tartaglia: how much
Venti: 1000 mora
Tartaglia: 10000 mora sent to your account
Venti: aww ty!! wanna join?
Tartaglia: i would love to
Venti: great!! 50 mora for entry
Tartaglia: 500 mora sent to your account
Lumine: wtf
Venti: WOOO OKAY CHARCUTERIE AND THE GOOD SNACKS HAS BEEN SECURED
Venti: now where is Hu Tao
Hu Tao: here!!
Venti: okay good we’re all set for the people who are required to come
Venti: if anyone else wants to join just show up at the geo dorm building. snacks are welcome
Venti: nothing too crazy tho
Sun, 1:30 AM
Venti: the little party was fun but i need an outlet for all of my prospective shenanigans
Hu Tao: did somebody say shenanigans?
Venti: bestie!!!
Hu Tao: bestie!!!
Yanfei: this is my cue to mute notifications so i can have plausible deniability!!
Hu Tao: ilyt bbg
Hu Tao: anyways back to prospective shenanigans
Venti: @Furina
Furina: cant wait to get into shenanigans
Furina: what are we doing
Hu Tao: we should make a separate gc for the plotting
~*~*~*~
~*~*~*~
Hu Tao has added 3 people to unnamed groupchat
Hu Tao has renamed the groupchat to pikmin groupchat
pikmin groupchat
Sun, 1:33 AM
Furina: ???
Hu Tao: i lied
Hu Tao: put your clothes back on and get into gear besties we’re playing pikmin bloom NEOW
Furina: what’s pikmin??
Hu Tao: i am so glad you asked
~*~*~*~
~*~*~*~
psychiatric waiting room
Sun, 1:33 AM
Kirara: is anyone else feeling unsafe?
Gorou: oh definitely
Kokomi: while I dont think they would bring intentional harm to their friends, Hu Tao, Venti, and Furina make for a terrifying combination
Keqing: what is venti talking about the party was NOT fun
Kokomi: did something happen?
Kokomi: Gorou were you there?
Gorou: no i left the moment i knew childe was coming over. like a sane person
Gorou: he always tries to get me or itto to fight him so i convinced itto to stay with shinobu and im with kazuha rn
Gorou: anyways imma gts now. gn!!
Kokomi: goodnight!!
Kokomi: so childe was the problem
Xiao: when is he not
Kokomi: typical. What did he do this time
Venti: xiao’s and kokomi’s beef against childe goes crazy
Kokomi: he knows what he did
Xiao: he tried to fight you during the party
Venti: yeahh but he didn’t bc you were there <33
Venti: mmy kightn in shining armortyuihkjii
Kirara: is he okay???
Keqing: he passed out mid text
Keqing: Xiao is carrying him back to the anemo dorms now
Kirara: aww that’s so sweet of him
Beidou: ihad a BLASTS
Keqing: YOU VENTI AND KAZUHA KEPT ON SINGING PIRATE SONGS
Keqing: YOU FOUGHT CHILDE IN THE PARKING LOT
Keqing: YOU AND VENTI HAD A DRINKING CONTEST WHICH NONE OF YOU LOST OR WON
Beidou: he hash a strong alchol toleranc
Ningguang: it’s okay darling you did very well
Beidou: NINGNING HII
Ningguang: come to bed now love
Keqing: gay
Beidou: ye
Ganyu: idk i had a good time
Keqing: actually now that i think about it the party wasnt that bad
Venti: gay
Beidou: gay
Mon, 11:35 AM
Furina: first day of classes and theyre making us do work?!?
Kaeya: the audacity
Furina: THANK YOU
Furina: Neuvillette just looked at me as if i was crazy
Yun Jin: no bc why are we doing work on the first day of classes
Yun Jin: we should only be going over the syllabus and wearing our cutest fits
Kaeya: right
Amber: then after that we can wear whatever we want to our classes
Amber: tmr im going in my running clothes
Layla: im going in pajamas tmr since I’ll end up falling asleep anyways
Kaeya: couldnt be me
Kaeya: if i do not look my best every day i will simply die
Chiori: fr
Chiori: im majoring in fashion for a reason
Furina: no but why do i already have three assignments due. ITS THE FIRST DAY
Hu Tao: hop right over to the wangshen funeral parlor!!
Hu Tao: i assure you all of your problems can be solved with the right amount of coffins!!
Yoimiya: or fireworks!!
Zhongli: And you still wonder why the two of you are banned from most of the buildings here
Thoma: they’re not even allowed in the same parties
Lyney: right like if yoimiya shows up first they turn away hu tao
Hu Tao: they hate women i fear