Work Text:
2012
“I’m impressed you were actually able to keep up with me out there, Vega.”
Tori rolled her eyes — a habit she picked up from Jade after spending the last few weeks together, but there was a sense of fondness when Tori did it. She knew it was Jade’s way of giving her a compliment without outright telling Tori she did a good job.
“Thanks,” she grinned. “You did great.”
“I know,” Jade replied matter-of-factly while pulling off the blonde wig, and then the cap. She sighed in relief once she was able to run her fingers through her hair and, through her peripheral vision, noticed Tori doing the same.
Tori stroked her fake mustache a couple of times before gently pulling it off of her face, mindful of not wanting the sting or lingering redness. (She’d made that mistake a couple of times throughout the rehearsal process.)
“You think those creeps from Nozu are still out there?” Jade wondered.
Tori grimaced. “I hope not.”
“Let me check.” Jade walked over to peek behind the curtain and let out a pleasant hum at the empty theater. “Everyone’s gone,” she informed Tori.
“Oh, good,” Tori sighed, clearly relieved. “I can’t believe they actually thought showing up would be a good idea. It’s been a couple of weeks.”
“Boys are stupid,” Jade replied bluntly.
“Yeah. They are,” Tori agreed through a breathy chuckle. She reached for a makeup wipe for herself after handing one to Jade. They removed their makeup in silence and it was…nice.
Things had been nice between them since the Nozu. Jade even went as far as telling Tori that she found her tolerable now. Tori, well versed in Jade speak at this point, knew that was Jade’s way of saying she didn’t hate her anymore. She still wasn’t sure if Jade would consider her a friend, but it was progress, so she took it.
But since Tori was stubborn, especially when it came to Jade, she totally thought Jade considered them to be friends.
“Are you going to the after party?” Jade, surprisingly, was the one to speak first.
“I don’t know. I don’t want to,” Tori admitted. “I guess I don’t see the point of doing one now and then again next weekend, after the last performance.”
“People just want an excuse for a party,” Jade replied. “I wasn’t going tonight either. I don’t think anyone is, since Sinjin volunteered to have it at his house.”
Tori nodded silently in agreement. That was another reason why she didn’t want to go, and why she never committed to going in the first place. She hesitated for a few seconds before she decided to ask, “Do you wanna hang out? Like, just the two of us.”
“Sure.” Jade’s answer was instant, which came as another surprise to Tori. “There’s worse ways I can spend my night.”
“You could be with Sinjin.”
“Exactly.”
They found themselves at Karaoke Dokie a half hour later. They were originally going to Nozu, but Andre and Beck were there, and even though they still spent a ton of time together during school (and during rehearsal for Sikowitz’s play), Jade was still hesitant to be around Beck outside of school. Tori didn’t blame her. She couldn’t imagine being around a somewhat recent ex all the time.
“That guy keeps staring at you,” Jade informed her. She glanced at the guy, and then at Tori to gauge her reaction. She looked uncomfortable, and Jade began thinking of a plan of getting the guy to wazz off, in case he decided to approach Tori.
“Where?” Tori asked, not wanting to turn to her right where Jade’s eye is wandering.
“Two tables away. Red t-shirt,” Jade described. “He’s ugly,” she added for good measure.
Tori laughed at Jade’s casual, and earnest, detail. “Tell me if he’s—”
“He’s coming,” Jade warned as soon as he stood up. She could see the wheels turning in Tori’s head as she attempted to figure out how to deal with him.
His wannabe Justin Bieber haircut bounced with each step towards Tori. Jade already found him obnoxious.
“Hi,” he said, looking down at Tori with a stupid, goofy smile on his face. “I’m Blake.”
“Hi,” Tori politely returned, her smile tight and forced. She didn’t offer her name because she wanted the interaction to be over as soon as possible. Her only problem was she doesn’t know how to shut it down without having Blake think she was trying to play hard to get.
“I saw you walking in, and I think you’re really hot,” he said. Jade scoffed and Tori’s smile got stiffer, more uncomfortable. “Can I get your number so I can take you out sometime?”
“Uh—”
“She’s with me, ass wipe,” Jade interjected. She reached across the table and took Tori’s hand into her own. “Go be a creep somewhere else and leave my girlfriend alone.”
Blake narrowed his eyes at both of them and then stared at their joined hands. “Is this a joke?” he asked Tori. “You’re way too hot to be into girls.”
“And you’re way too ugly to show a face like that in public,” Jade spat. “Fuck. Off.”
He looked at them for another moment, but was disgusted this time. “Fucking dykes,” he muttered before storming out of Karaoke Dokie entirely.
Tori deflated, but turned to Jade. “Thanks,” she said softly.
Jade shrugged. “Whatever.”
The rest of their time at Karaoke Dokie was spent in silence. Tori didn’t feel like singing, and Jade was certain that loser Blake killed her night. Still, even when they got into Jade’s car, Tori was quiet and she looked like she didn't want to be around Jade because she turned her entire body in the small passenger seat and looked out the window. It was like she totally shut down. Jade wondered if she overstepped while trying to defend her.
The thought of making Tori uncomfortable, for once, made her feel bad. She did something she never does.
“Sorry if I pushed it when that guy was talking to you,” Jade apologized, her tone sincere. “Just wanted to get rid of him. I know you’re straight — it was just the first thing I thought of.”
Tori didn’t say everything was fine. In fact, she didn’t say anything at all. Jade can’t help but be a bit annoyed. She literally never apologizes and the one time she did, she was being ignored.
“Did you hear what I said?”
Again, Tori remained silent. Jade was about to spit out a snarky comment, but a hiccup from Tori let her know what was going on and she pulled over. Tori still wouldn’t look at her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked gently. First the apology, and now this. Jade felt so…unlike herself. Then again, Tori being quiet and then crying out of nowhere was also unlike herself.
“Nothing, I’m fine. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Tori assured. “I appreciate what you did for me.”
“Then why are you crying?” Jade asked, admittedly still frustrated.
Tori sniffled and wiped her tears before finally looking at Jade. The tip of her nose was red and the dried tears that she didn’t reach stained her cheeks.
Jade hated it.
“I’m gay,” Tori blurted out suddenly, looking panicked. “Nobody knows.”
“Oh,” Jade realized. That…was not what she expected Tori to say.
It was genuinely surprising because, as much as Jade didn’t want to stereotype her — but she gave herself a pass to do so since she’s bi — Tori never gave away anything that hinted at her being gay. It was depressing to see Tori crying, especially over something so personal that someone had used against her in an attempt to shame her.
When Jade realized she liked girls in that way, she didn’t panic. She was confused at first, but it wasn’t something she beat herself up about. She didn’t go out of her way to tell people — she didn’t think it was anyone’s business but her own — but she knew she didn’t care if people knew. She made comments here and there about women she found attractive, and nobody questioned her. They were probably, rightfully, scared to ask. So, it was sort of just common knowledge that Jade liked girls too.
That seemed to be far from the case for Tori, just based on her reaction. Jade wasn’t sure how to comfort anyone — not really her thing — let alone Tori. But she tried.
“That’s okay,” she said quietly. It wasn’t exactly helpful, so she tried something else. “I’m not gonna tell anyone.”
“Thanks.” Tori’s voice was hoarse, tired. But…she looked like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Like she exhaled after holding her breath for years. Jade believed in some way, she was.
She hated it.
“You know what that guy said doesn’t matter, right?” Jade asked softly. “He’s a dick. Not worth your time.”
“It’s just—” Tori cut herself off before shaking her head. She didn’t want to bother Jade with the details, so she kept it short. “It was hard for me. It still kinda is.”
Jade nodded. That was clear to her before Tori said it. “It was hard for me too,” she lied. She didn’t know what compelled her to do so because it wasn’t hard for her at all. What she did know was that she was, strangely, willing to do anything to make Tori feel better, even if it meant lying. “But I mean, if you can’t be gay at Hollywood Arts, where can you be gay?”
Tori laughed and Jade smiled. It didn’t seem like much. Maybe it wasn’t. But it did feel like something significant happened.
Jade didn’t hate it.
2013
“I’m never gonna find love.”
Jade rolled her eyes while she continued proofreading her latest screenplay. “You’re eighteen, Vega. Stop.”
“I’ve been out to everyone for seven months now and have been in zero relationships,” Tori frowned.
It turned out that Tori coming out to Jade last year did wonders for their friendship. The biggest wonder of them all — Jade willingly declared Tori her friend. It was…surprisingly nice. Tori was a good friend, probably the best friend Jade could ask for, not that she’d admit that. It didn’t take Jade long to realize that being…inexperienced, for the lack of a better word, bothered Tori. But…
“Because you reject every girl who goes up to you!” Jade argued. “I mean, I don’t blame you — you’re way out of their league. But, seriously? Relax. You’re eighteen, you’ll find someone who wants to put up with you.”
Tori groaned at the subtle jab. “Still. Don’t you ever feel that way? Especially now that you, y’know, broke up with Beck for good.”
Jade sighed and shut her laptop. Not because Tori brought Beck up, but because this was probably the millionth time in the last nine months — when she dumped him for the final time — that she’d been bugging Jade about their hypothetical, future partners.
“Not really,” Jade answered honestly. It was the first time she ever answered the question. “I mean, yeah, it’d be cool to find ‘the one,’ or whatever you wanna call it, but we’re only in high school.”
“My parents met in high school,” Tori retorted.
“Your mom had an affair and your parents divorce was finalized last month,” Jade laughed. It was, surprisingly, not a sore subject for Tori, so she didn’t feel bad about bringing it up.
“They still met in high school!” Tori weakly argued. She knew her parents’ marriage was a weak response, but that didn’t make their circumstance any less true.
“And they still got divorced,” Jade snorted. “Just be patient.”
“I’m scared to be alone,” Tori confessed.
“You’re not going to be alone,” Jade assured. She didn’t say it to shut Tori up, either. She meant it.
She knew Tori was going to end up with some woman one day and live happily ever after. Sure, Jade didn’t think whoever ended up with Tori would be exactly deserving of her, but Tori would be happy and that’s what mattered.
“But what if I will be?”
Jade rolled her eyes again. “You won’t. You’re annoying, but you’re not that annoying.”
“But—”
“Oh, my God,” she grumbled. “Look, I’ll make a deal with you. If—”
Tori lifted a brow. “A deal?”
“Yes, now shut up and listen,” Jade hushed her. Tori obeyed and intently looked at her. “If you’re gonna wazz yourself over being lonely forever, if we’re both still single by the time we turn thirty, I’ll marry you.”
Tori’s face flushed. She totally believed Jade was out of her league, which was why she never said anything about—
“Really?” she asked, not wanting to give into her thoughts. Again.
“Yes,” Jade responded, shooting Tori an expected look after she said nothing. “Well?”
“You really would spend the rest of your life with me?” Tori already spent nearly all of her free time with Jade, so, obviously, she would totally spend the rest of her life—
“There’s worse ways I can spend my life.” Jade said it so easily. Like there was nothing to question.
Tori nodded, beaming. “Deal.”
2014
If there was a timeline where Jade never finally admitted to being Tori’s friend, Tori was glad it wasn’t this one. She couldn’t imagine life without Jade anymore.
Jade was definitely the best friend she’d ever had, and probably will ever have. She’d made it clear to Tori that she had her back no matter what, but she also called her out when she was wrong. Tori valued that. She valued Jade.
That was exactly why Tori forced herself to move on from the crush she’d developed on her. Okay, fine — it started as a crush and she realized it was much more than that. She knew it was never going to happen between them, and in the off chance the feelings were reciprocated, taking that risk in their friendship — at only nineteen years old anyway — didn’t feel worth it.
So, yeah, she decided to move on with someone she swiped right on on a dating app. Her name was Lauren and she was really pretty, really nice, and they got along great. Tori was definitely into her, and she could definitely see them turning into something serious. She liked Lauren a lot.
However, she couldn’t get a read on Jade and how she felt about her new relationship.
“What do you think?” Tori bluntly asked after a few moments. She stared at Jade on her laptop screen and noticed she finally put up The Scissoring poster in her dorm room.
Jade shrugged. “I mean, she seems a little boring since she’s into puzzles,” she joked. Tori couldn’t help but let a laugh slip out, and Jade continued, “Are you happy?”
The question would’ve caught Tori off guard a few years ago — before they became friends — Tori learned it’s a question Jade asked her friends often when it came to change in their lives, and she treasured that.
“Yes,” Tori replied easily. It was the truth.
“Then I’m happy for you,” Jade answered. “I told you you wouldn’t be alone forever. You’re not that annoying.”
Tori laughed again at the recollection of her near breakdown the year before. No matter how much of a crush she had on Jade in the past, her mind was more occupied with her future with Lauren.
2015
“Lauren and I broke up.”
“You don’t sound sad about it,” Jade carefully observed. Maybe it was the shitty laptop camera quality, but Tori didn’t look bummed. Even if she wasn’t, it was probably what sucked the most about Jade being across the country for college — she couldn’t be there to provide a distraction for Tori.
“I am, but…not a lot,” Tori admitted. “We felt more like friends the last couple of months.”
“I guess our wedding is back on, then,” Jade quipped.
“Ten years to go,” Tori joked back.
“Seriously, though, are you actually okay?” Jade asked. She knew Tori was telling the truth about not being too sad, and her face was telling her the same, but she just wanted to be sure.
Tori nodded. “Yeah, I think I’m sad because we’re not going to be friends anymore. She was nice to me.”
“I’m sure there will be plenty of other women who will be nice to you.”
Tori smiled appreciatively at her. She loved that Jade was her best friend and she especially loved that Jade had a soft side that most people didn’t get the privilege of seeing.
She also loved that, coincidentally, Jade was a woman who was nice to her.
2016
They hadn’t been talking much.
It wasn’t because they were fighting or not trying to talk. It was because they were both so busy.
Jade was deep into her year-long senior film project, and Tori was on tour opening up for some pop star, doing forty shows in fifty days. When Jade was in class or editing footage, Tori was sleeping after performing for a sell out arena. When Tori was on stage, Jade was just going to sleep or just waking up, depending on how much work she’d gotten done.
The good news was they were both home for Thanksgiving. The better news, in Tori’s opinion, was that Jade was going to be staying at her new place.
Jade let out a low whistle the second she stepped foot in Tori’s brand new apartment.
Her label set her up with it so Tori could be closer to the main studio she would be recording from, and she wanted Jade to be her first guest as soon as she finished moving all of her stuff in.
“Nice place,” Jade said, looking around. The decor, though too pink for Jade’s liking, screamed Tori and it was the perfect place for her; not too big, and had a great view of downtown so Tori could people watch (her favorite activity).
“Thanks,” Tori grinned. “I feel like a grown up.”
“That sounds pretty dangerous for the rest of the world,” Jade teased.
Tori laughed, “Shut up.”
Once the tour of her new apartment was over, they sat on the couch and ate dinner together while Tori had Jade tell her about her film project. She finally got even the smallest details that Jade didn’t tell her while they were both so busy. Tori told her about all of the cities she performed in, and how, surprisingly nervous she was every night on stage. It felt just like old times, before they were separated by damn near the entire country.
And maybe the physical distance had been too much for them, even subconsciously, because they found themselves curled up together while they watched old episodes of Celebrities Underwater. It wasn’t a big deal until Tori took a sip of her soda and went back to her position, only to realize how close her face was to Jade’s. And the fact that her eyes landed straight on her lips.
Tori gulped and sat up, distancing herself a pinky finger’s length away from Jade. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get that close to you.”
“It’s cool,” Jade quietly replied. “I didn’t…I don’t mind.”
“Me either,” Tori exhaled. And just like that, she felt all the feelings she pushed aside when she met Lauren come sliding right back in. Oh no. That was bad.
“It doesn’t have to be weird,” Jade insisted, shrugging. She liked being held, even if she won’t outright admit it to anybody. In particular, she liked being held by Tori, which was a super awesome realization to have on her first day back home for only six days before she had to go back to New York for the rest of the semester! Fantastic! “We can…keep doing it.” When Tori’s eyes widened, so did her own. “Cuddling, I mean.”
“Yeah, duh.” Tori lamely nodded. “Okay.”
They didn’t make a big deal about cuddling the rest of the time Jade was there. Mostly because they made it a habit to cuddle whenever they sat next to one another. It was terrible for however much both of them spent time thinking about it, and what it meant, and why they felt the way they did now.
However, none of it seemed to really matter because they only cared about counting down the days for Jade’s school semester to end so they could do it some more when she got back.
2017
Jade was back for spring break — her last one before she graduated in a month. She was staying with Tori, of course.
Similar to how things were before Thanksgiving, they were both extremely busy. Things were slowing down for Jade, mostly because she only needed to do minor edits for her film project, and only had one final exam to study for. On the other hand, Tori was still super busy because she was constantly in the studio writing and recording a ton of new songs for an EP the label wanted her to put out.
Naturally, all Tori wanted to do is relax. And now that Jade was back, she knew exactly how she wanted to relax.
“Come cuddle with me,” she requested softly. Jade didn’t move and it was confusing. She usually let out a fake sigh, playfully rolled her eyes, and then cuddled with Tori. “Jade?”
Jade looked down at her feet for a moment before looking back at Tori. “I have a girlfriend.”
Tori didn’t know why the news was so deflating — okay, fine, she did — but she knew she couldn’t show that to Jade.
“Oh!” she exclaimed, feeling her face go hot in embarrassment. “Sorry! I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay,” Jade assured. “It’s nothing against you, you know. I just don’t know how she’d—”
“No, I get it.” Tori shook her head, sitting up straight. “Sorry. If I knew, I wouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s okay,” Jade repeated. “You didn’t know.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tori blurted out.
Jade sighed and gave her a tight, uneasy smile. “We’ve been so busy, and it’s kind of a big deal, so I wanted to tell you in person. I wanted to tell you sooner, but between you being in the studio all the time and me at school…”
“Yeah.” Tori nodded. She understood, but she didn’t agree with Jade’s reasoning. After all, she told Jade about Lauren through a video call. Couldn’t have Jade done the same?
But could it also be that she actually wasn’t mad that Jade didn’t tell her and, instead, was hurt that Jade was with someone who wasn’t her? That was (highly) possible. It wasn’t like Tori could admit half of that without giving away how she felt, though. It was the same feeling she had when she was nineteen and dating Lauren — she’d rather not risk anything that would end their friendship. Admitting her feelings returned (after never even admitting them in the first place) while Jade had a girlfriend was definitely a risk not worth taking.
So instead of ruminating on how much it sucked that Jade had a girlfriend now, Tori asked about her.
Her name was Carmen and she also lived in LA, but stayed back in New York for Spring break because of work. She sounded like a great person and, most importantly, Jade seemed happy. Nothing else really mattered.
“I hope you weren’t too far in the wedding planning,” Jade quipped.
“I think I can get my deposit back for the venue if I call by tomorrow,” Tori joked back.
She felt awful when her first thought was that she couldn’t wait to hear the joke about their wedding being back on.
2018
“You’re being weird,” Jade said bluntly. “You’ve been talking about seeing this stupid movie for months, and you were zoned out for pretty much all of it.” She actually noticed Tori was being weird when she first picked her up, but decided to not say anything. Now, though, it was borderline concerning.
Tori shifted uncomfortably in the passenger seat. “My label dropped me,” she finally confessed.
Jade blinked. “Excuse me?”
“The EP did really bad,” Tori explained, looking away. “An album would cost way more to make, so…it doesn’t make sense to make one. Or any music for that matter,” she chuckled bitterly.
“Tori…” Jade sighed. She really did not expect that to happen to Tori, of all people.
“I don’t know what to do next.”
So they spent the next hour at a Jet Brew thinking about possible career options for Tori. They ruled out songwriting — for the foreseeable future anyway — and acting. Tori was sure she was taking it too hard and was probably taking it too far when she told Jade she didn’t want to be a public figure and would rather do something more lowkey. What helped was that she wouldn’t be totally starting from scratch in regards to school — Tori was about halfway done with her music degree since she was going to school before she went on tour. Her leave of absence could end as soon as she informed the school she was ready to return.
“Are you sure?” Jade asked again. “Carmen’s got some serious connections because of her parents.”
“I’m sure,” Tori grumbled. Not because Jade was offering, but because, well, Carmen didn’t like her, and the last thing Tori wanted was to mooch off of her and her connections. (She had her own, anyway.)
It was painfully clear that Carmen didn’t like her and only put an effort to make it seem like she did because of Jade. Jade insisted that Carmen didn’t hate her — she wasn’t stupid, and she could tell that she and Tori weren’t exactly best friends — but Tori knew she was just having her girlfriend’s back, which was fair. Tori was indifferent about Carmen. She didn’t like her, but she didn’t not like her. She appreciated that Jade was happy with her, but that was about as far as the pros went.
Tori’s realization dawned on her suddenly. “I got it!” she gasped.
“What?” Jade urged her to continue.
“I can be a teacher!” Tori decided. “I could teach at Hollywood Arts!”
Jade’s eyebrows shot up. That was…something she could totally imagine Tori doing. It was kind of fitting actually. Tori liked helping people out, she cared about people and their lives and futures — it was pretty easy to see why she wanted to teach. She was capable of it. Then again, Jade believed Tori was capable of doing anything.
“You should,” Jade agreed. “I think you’ll be great.”
“Really?” Tori’s eyes shined with hope. “You think so?”
“I think you can do anything,” Jade said sincerely.
Tori smiled. She felt like she could melt. “Thanks, I—”
“Oh, Carmen’s calling me, hold on,” Jade interrupted before getting up and going outside.
Tori sighed, while her smile shrunk. She was really, really happy that Jade was happy, and that things with Carmen were seemingly going well. It was just…a little weird because she felt like the relationship was putting an expiration date on her friendship with Jade. Almost like a time bomb ready to explode. She really, really hoped to be wrong. She didn’t want to lose Jade.
It had gotten to the point where she was scared of life without her.
2019
“The slideshow makes sense now, right?” Tori frowned before biting her lower lip. She asked Jade to come over because she needed to practice her presentation for her public speaking class on Monday.
“Perfect sense.” Jade nodded. “Easy to follow along. I’m sure you’ll get an A.”
Tori grinned. That was exactly what she was hoping to hear. Especially from Jade, considering she was still the most honest person she knew.
Getting back into school was harder than Tori anticipated, but she was able to fall into her old routine pretty quickly. It was just a little hard because, well, she was broke now and had to live with her dad again. (Her dad’s place was closer to campus than Holly’s.) It was kind of embarrassing, especially compared to all of her other friends who were seemingly able to find a way to stick in the industry, and live alone. (She knew she kind of chose to leave the industry as a whole, but she couldn’t help but wonder what if sometimes.) She had a job on campus in the bookstore, and she still had a small fraction of the signing bonus that she didn’t have to give back when her career went to shit, so she was saving in hopes of moving out again at the end of the year.
She shut her laptop and looked over at Jade, who was on her phone, again. Tori mustered up a grin anyway. “Do you wanna stay and have dinner?” she offered, prepared to go to the fridge and see what she could make. Her dad was away for the weekend, so she had the house to herself.
“I gotta go,” Jade said, dejected. “Carmen and I have plans and I’m already a little late. Sorry.”
“Oh, yeah, no, that’s okay,” Tori agreed weakly.
Jade gave her an apologetic smile before heading over to Carmen’s apartment. She offered yet another apology as soon as she walked in.
“Sorry I’m late,” she said, kissing her girlfriend on the cheek. “I was with Tori.”
“Yeah,” Carmen muttered. “You’re always with Tori.”
“She needed my help with an assignment,” Jade immediately defended. What sucked was that Jade used that as an excuse every time she hung out with Tori. Today was the first time it was actually true.
Carmen chuckled bitterly, “Every week?” She arched an eyebrow at Jade, challenging her. “Is she that stupid?”
“Hey!” Jade glared. “Don’t talk about her like that.”
“You ‘help her with an assignment’ every fucking week, Jade,” Carmen retorted. “It’s like she can’t do anything without you.”
Jade clenched her jaw. This wasn’t their first fight about Tori, and she was certain it wouldn’t be their last.
“You act like I’m doing something wrong,” she replied, rubbing her forehead. “I’m with my friend.”
“You see her just as much as you see me, Jade! I’m your girlfriend; Tori isn’t,” Carmen reminded her. “And yet, you refuse to believe that she wishes she was your girlfriend!”
There it was. The thing Carmen always circled back to whenever they fought about Tori. The thing that, every time it was brought up, made Jade feel like she was in high school again. Except this time, she was on the other side of the accusation thrown at her. Jade used to tell Beck the same exact thing, so being on the receiving end was…strange. And stressful.
“That’s not true,” Jade denied, her tone a lot softer than she thought it’d be considering how upset she was.
The truth was, Jade had been curious about whether or not Tori’s feelings for her were more than platonic. But that was way back in high school when Jade started to consider her a friend. Tori never said anything, so Jade assumed she either didn’t have feelings for her, or she just got over it.
“Are you joking?” Carmen laughed incredulously. “Jade, she’s in love with you!”
“She’s not,” Jade said, irritated. “I don’t know why you keep bringing that up whenever you talk about her.”
Carmen squeezed her eyes shut in frustration while pursing her lips together. She exhaled deeply, but was still so obviously mad. “I see the way she looks at you. I’m not an idiot,” she muttered. “And you know what? You spending nearly all of your free time with her makes me think you feel the same way about her.”
“What?” Jade’s jaw fell to the ground. “Carmen, you can’t…” she cut herself off with a groan. “You cannot be serious right now. I don’t have feelings for Tori.”
“Last month, you took care of her when she was sick.”
“So?”
“You refuse to be in the same room as me when I’m sick,” Carmen’s voice dropped to a whisper.
Jade’s face fell. She couldn’t even deny it because it was true.
Another truth Jade kept to herself (and far away from everyone else, especially Carmen) was that, at one point, her feelings for Tori were all over the place. To this day, she still wasn’t completely sure if she ever had full blown feelings for Tori, but she definitely had crushes on her at various points in the past. None of those had been recent. The closest thing she had to genuine feelings for Tori was the time she, no pun intended, proposed they get married if they were both single when they turned thirty. The last time she was confused about her feelings for Tori was her senior year of college, when they cuddled nearly nonstop during her Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks — before she met Carmen.
But Jade loved Carmen. Yes, things had been…hard the last few months, and yes, they’d had about five different fights in the last seven days alone, but…
“I’m sorry,” Jade apologized again. “I get where you’re coming from, but I swear to you — I don’t have feelings for anyone except for you.”
Carmen looked at Jade, trying to find an answer that said otherwise. Jade wasn’t sure if her girlfriend believed her until they kissed. Even then, something was wrong. Something was missing. She wasn’t sure what it was.
Jade stayed up all night trying to figure out what it was. It hurt when she realized there may have been some substance behind the words Carmen threw at her. No wonder it hurt so bad to hear.
2020
“I like the new place.”
“I know it’s a little smaller than my old one, but I like it more,” Tori smiled. “Probably because I missed living alone so much.”
“I don’t blame you,” Jade chuckled while she sat down on the chair on the balcony. She looked out and noticed Tori’s new apartment, somehow, was in a better location for people watching. “Sorry I couldn’t make it here sooner.”
“It’s okay,” Tori assured, still smiling, while taking the chair next to Jade. “I know it’s been…complicated.”
“Yeah,” Jade agreed with a dry laugh.
Ever since her fight with Carmen almost a year ago, Jade and Tori had only seen each other sparingly. They’d mostly spoken through text and the occasional phone call. They’d seen each other a handful of times, which coincided with the two short lived breakups Jade and Carmen went through. They were back on, for now, but Jade didn’t know what to do or what to make of her relationship anymore.
But she wasn’t thinking of it at the moment because it was Tori’s graduation day, and the least she could do was finally see her new apartment that she moved into in December. Tori did invite Jade to the ceremony, but it didn’t sound like it was the best idea for her to attend once she got back together with Carmen.
“I got you something,” Tori said after a few minutes. She quickly went inside before returning with a neatly wrapped box.
Jade lifted her eyebrows. “You’re graduating today. Why did you get me a gift?”
“Open it,” Tori encouraged with a gentle smile. It didn’t go unnoticed by Jade that it didn’t quite reach her eyes.
Jade sighed, but unwrapped it anyway. Her jaw dropped and her heart raced. “No you fucking didn’t,” she gasped.
It was a vinyl — The Scissoring: The Soundtrack vinyl. The sleeve wasn’t in the best condition, but it literally didn’t matter. Jade had been looking for it ever since she was in high school, but she was too broke to buy it back then. As an adult, however, she simply couldn’t find it anywhere, in any condition, despite being able to afford it now. She had no clue how Tori was able to get her hands on it.
“Please don’t tell me you spent, like, a thousand dollars on this.”
Tori shook her head. “I didn’t,” she promised. It was a surprisingly easy, and inexpensive, get.
Jade smiled at the vinyl, then at Tori, and then she sighed when she noticed Tori looked nearly emotionless. “Tori, why did you get me this?”
“Maybe we shouldn’t be friends anymore,” Tori blurted out.
“What?” Jade whipped her head over. “Tori, you can’t be serious.”
Tori, however, kept her gaze over the balcony. Jade could see the tears welling up. “I know Carmen isn’t my biggest fan, okay?” her voice shook, but she pushed through. “And I know how much you care about her.”
“I care about you,” Jade retorted instantly. Tori wasn’t sure if that was a reminder, or if she was way in over her head in hoping that Jade meant it as a correction.
“Does she even know that you’re here?” Tori’s voice cracked. Jade’s response was to look away, and Tori smiled sadly. “Jade…”
“Look, it’s hard when your girlfriend hates your best friend,” Jade admitted, “but why should I be punished for it? I stick up for you every time she—”
“That’s why!” Tori cried. “It’s— I know I’m, like, the main issue between you guys. She doesn’t trust you because of me and our friendship. And I hate that I’m…I’m a problem for you.”
“You’re not,” Jade insisted. “Tori, you aren’t.”
Tori swallowed. “I think you should go,” she murmured. “I have to get ready.”
“Tori, I’m not—”
“Please,” Tori whispered.
Jade stared at her for…she didn’t know how long before she left without a word. She didn’t process the fact that she was parked outside of Carmen’s apartment building until the security guard greeted her as she pulled up to her usual parking spot. In fact, she was about to turn around and leave to go back to her own apartment until the corner of her eye caught the vinyl sitting in her passenger seat.
She found herself knocking at Carmen’s door, then walked out for the last time — really — half an hour later.
Three hours after that, she found the energy to go and cheer for Tori alongside the rest of the Vega family.
When the ceremony concluded and Tori finally spotted her family in the sea of people, her eyes landed on Jade first. At first, she looked so surprised that Jade almost thought it was a mistake to show up, especially after what happened in the morning. Jade could see the realization all over Tori’s face and they shared a small, knowing smile.
Jade declined joining them for dinner, but she went to Tori’s apartment afterwards. They spent much needed time together and, of course, Jade told her about the breakup.
“Well, I hope you’re okay,” Tori offered empathetically. “I’m here for you.”
“I know.” Jade nodded. “You can start planning the wedding again.”
Tori burst into laughter. “Five years to go.”
2021
New Year’s Eve was probably Jade’s least favorite holiday. She hated how many people saw it as a new beginning when, in reality, nothing changed in the literal second from one year to the next. Nothing changed. It was the same thing every year. She also hated being surrounded by people who don’t know how much alcohol they can tolerate.
The latter in particular was why she stuck next to Tori when they found themselves at the New Year’s party Andre invited them to. Still, they were in their mid-twenties at some fancy rooftop party in downtown LA on New Year’s Eve — Jade was having a good time, even she couldn’t deny it.
“Kiss me at midnight,” Tori suddenly demanded.
Jade chuckled, mostly because she was at a loss for words and didn’t know how to react when she realized Tori wasn’t joking. She avoided all eye contact with Tori. She shook her head, still not believing what she’s just heard.
“You’re drunk,” she said. She knew it was a terrible excuse because she’d seen Tori drunk plenty of times and this clearly wasn’t that — Tori looked more sure of herself than ever.
“No, I’m not,” Tori argued. “I know what I’m doing. You know that.”
“Tori…”
“Please? Don’t you think that if we do get married, we have to see if we’re sexually compatible?”
“Jesus, Vega,” Jade snorted. “You started out by asking for a kiss and now you’re talking about being sexually compatible?”
If she said she hadn’t thought about kissing Tori Vega, she was lying. If she said she hadn’t thought about doing a lot more than just kissing Tori Vega, she was lying. It was just…Tori was way too good of a friend to make anything weird.
But marrying her if you’re both still single in four, and just minutes away from three, years wouldn’t make it weird? Jade asked herself. But then she argued against that voice. It’s not weird since Carmen was definitely right and you do actually—
“C’mon…” Tori whined.
“Tori…” Jade repeated.
“Whatever,” Tori grumbled, stomping away.
Jade sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. It wasn’t the fact that she was alone now, it was the fact that Tori was upset and probably embarrassed due to her own (lack of) action. Honestly, Jade was more annoyed with herself for not agreeing to kiss her.
It wasn’t like she didn’t have feelings for Tori. She definitely did. She’d spent the last year and a half figuring that out. She didn’t need all that time to know, but there were a few reasons keeping her from doing anything about it.
The first reason being that Jade knew she needed more time to completely move on from Carmen, even with her realization that her feelings for Tori were totally legit. Despite all the fighting they’d done towards the last year of their relationship, Jade still loved Carmen and needed the time to move on.
She also did not want to jump into a relationship immediately after being with Carmen. It was…an exhausting relationship to say the least, so she needed time for herself. That alone was enough reason to not pursue anything with Tori.
The last reason was probably ridiculous, but Jade was scared. It was one thing to make a marriage pact with your best friend when you were eighteen, but it was another to have feelings for her, tell her, and then risk something going horribly wrong, therefore destroying the pact.
However, Tori had taken a risk tonight, and Jade felt the need to follow suit.
She hastily scanned the rooftop, and her search only became more urgent when she noticed that there was only a minute left before the clock hit midnight. Jade rushed over towards the crowd that was already formed to seek out Tori. Thankfully, it was easy to find her because she was the only one alone, with her arms crossed, and pouting. There were only ten seconds left.
Jade exhaled to calm herself down as her trembling legs took her to Tori. “Vega!” she called out over the countdown.
Tori looked up, but she still seemed a bit upset, and maybe embarrassed. “What?” she frowned.
The countdown concluded and the crowd erupted into cheers, but Jade could hardly hear any of it the second her lips touched Tori’s.
2022
Tori pulled away from the kiss nearly breathless. “We don’t have to wait three more years for this, do we?” she asked. Her eyes were bright, hopeful. It was the same look she had when Jade suggested their marriage pact.
Jade rested her forehead against Tori’s and shook her head. “It should’ve never taken this long,” she replied. “We met in high school.”
Tori felt like her heart was about to burst. She leaned in and kissed Jade again because, clearly, they had a lot of catching up to do.
(They also found out that they were very sexually compatible.)
2023
There were only two downsides to living with Tori Vega.
The first one was that it was conveniently always Jade’s turn to take out the trash. The second, often painful, downside was that Tori moved a ton whenever she slept.
Other than that, living together was great and, as on par with everything else Jade regretted — she only wished it could’ve happened a lot sooner. But it was happening now, so she didn’t complain. Much.
“Tori,” Jade groaned, reaching for her hip. “You kneed me.”
“I do need you, baby,” Tori murmured tiredly while scooting closer to Jade to wrap an arm around her.
“I…” Jade felt the blush on her cheeks form on her cheeks and she couldn’t help but smile. “Okay.”
“Good morning,” Tori said, pressing a chaste kiss to Jade’s neck.
“Morning,” Jade returned. She craned her head to press a kiss against Tori’s temple before checking her phone for the time. “Guess what today is.”
“Saturday,” Tori whispered. She nuzzled her face further into Jade’s shoulder and held her tighter.
“Yeah,” Jade chuckled, “but it’s—”
She didn’t get to tell her what day it was because Tori went back to sleep. Jade sighed, but smiled anyway before falling back asleep as well.
An hour later, they were still in bed, except they’d gotten back in after brushing their teeth because Tori said she wanted to have a lazy morning. Jade was fine with it. There were much worse ways she could spend her morning.
“So what’s today?” Tori asked.
“What?”
“When we woke up the first time, you told me to guess what day it is,” Tori clarified.
“Oh.” Jade nodded. “You have to guess.”
Tori pouted. “You were going to tell me earlier though.”
“Yeah, and you fell asleep, so now you have to guess,” Jade smirked.
“You’re terrible,” Tori groaned and threw her head back onto her pillow. “Why can’t you just tell me?”
“Why couldn’t you just stay awake?”
Tori groaned again. “Fine,” she mumbled. “Is it…Nick’s birthday?”
“No.” Jade narrowed her eyes. “Why would I tell you to guess my brother’s birthday?”
“Look, I just want you to tell me what today is,” Tori admitted. “I guessed and was wrong. Oh well. Now tell me.”
Jade laughed at the loophole Tori took. “Ten years ago today,” she said, “I made a deal with you.”
“No way!” Tori’s eyes widened and a wide grin took over her face. She couldn’t believe Jade remembered the day they made their marriage pact. Obviously, they’d joked about it over the years, but for Jade to know the day…it made Tori feel special. “I can’t believe you remembered!”
“I mean, yeah,” Jade murmured, suddenly feeling shy.
“I love you,” Tori cooed before giving her girlfriend a firm kiss.
“I love you,” Jade returned. “Even though our pact is technically broken.”
“No, it’s not,” Tori frowned.
Jade detached herself from Tori for a few seconds to reach for something in the drawer next to their bed. “I mean, we’re not single, so…”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it’s broken.”
“It is if I give you this now, instead of two years from now,” Jade argued.
Tori’s heart stopped as soon as Jade held the ring in front of her face. The nervous, yet hopeful look on Jade’s face brought tears to Tori’s eyes.
When Jade made that deal with her ten years ago, Tori didn’t think there was a chance in hell it would happen. Not because she thought Jade would go back on her word, and defini not because she thought they’d be dating, but because she always thought Jade would find somebody else to marry. Obviously, this was a million times better than she could’ve asked for — it was literally Tori’s dream scenario.
And with the smile on her face the second the ring was slid on her finger, all Jade could think about was how there was absolutely no better way she could spend the rest of her life.