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Damon opened the dorm room door. He was exhausted.
When he discovered Wolfgang’s body, he immediately began investigating. For the class trial, he turned off his feelings and entered his debate mindset. Damon can pinpoint the moment he realized Eva Tsunaka killed Wolfgang Akire. At that moment, Eva Tsunaka was no longer Eva Tsunaka. She became an opponent, another enemy to beat with his ultimate talent. Damon forgot she was a human, a classmate, a friend, until he saw the metal collar clamp around her neck.
During Eva’s execution, a few defiant tears fell down his cheeks, but now, in the safety of walls and closed doors, Damon wept. He wept for his own stupidity. How could he have trusted someone, in a game of lies and deceit? One must never trust anyone, he decided, because trust can only be broken. And although he’d never admit it, part of him cared about Wolfgang and Eva, and witnessing two deaths hours apart takes its toll. He took another vow, this time to never care about anyone within the walls of this academy, as long as the killing game continues.
Damon continued to sob until he heard the door open. It was then that Damon realized he must have entered Kai’s room out of habit instead of his own. Fuck. He did his best to wipe his tears, but the puffiness under his eyes would instantly expose his secret.
Kai entered the room and jumped a little, startled at Damon’s presence. “Fuck, man, what are you doing here already? It’s not night time yet, is it?”
“...I don’t know... I'm leaving now. Excuse me.” Damon’s voice was strained as he slowly stood up. As he started to walk, he noticed Kai staring at his red nose and the shakiness in his movements.
“Hey,” Kai said, in a lower, more serious tone than was normal for the influencer. “Are you ok? Do you want to talk about it?”
Damon immediately stiffened up. “No. I’m fine. And now I’m leaving.”
“Dude, it’s ok if you’re upset, that was, like, a LOT. You and Eva were close, right-”
“I said I’m fine.” Damon’s eyes darkened with hate and he hastily moved towards the door.
“W-wait!” Kai grabbed Damon’s wrist. He tried to pull away.
“Um, so you’re totally fine and everything, I get that, but I'm kind of having a rough time with everything. All the death, like, totally freaked me out. Can we talk? About my issues?”
Damon groaned. Of course this idiot narcissist found a way to make Wolfgang and Eva’s death about him. Whatever, if he didn’t indulge the other man now, he’d have to later when he’s trying to sleep. Begrudgingly, Damon agreed to stay.
After a few minutes of loud crying and leaning on Damon for support, Kai turned to him and spoke, looking up at Damon through strands of tear-soaked pink hair. “So, like, I’m super upset about Eva’s death, but I never got to talk to her that much,” he said between sobs. “What was she like?”
Damon thought for a moment. “She was,” he paused, choking on his words. Composing himself, he began again. “She was incredibly intelligent. Too intelligent for her own good, I think.”
It isn't for 3 hours, after an earnest heart-to-heart, sharing fears for the future and memories of lost friends, that Damon realizes the request was never for Kai’s sake.
They lay on the bed together in silence for a moment, processing everything that was just exchanged between them.
“I miss my parents. A lot.”
“... Me too.”
More silence.
“Hey, Damon?” Damon rolls over to find warm, yellow eyes staring at him.
“Yeah?”
“I just want to let you know, I trust you. And I care about you. And I don’t care if you don’t feel the same, or if that makes it easier for you to kill me. I just want you to know.”
Damon opens his mouth to respond, but words wouldn’t come out.
But… why are you telling me this? It’s not like I can do anything to help.
… It’s because … I trust you.
But that was a lie. Eva had lied to him and he believed her, and now here he is, making the same mistake when he had just vowed to never trust someone again. He should get up and leave. Better to sleep alone than to let your guard down again.
And yet, there’s something different in Kai’s eyes. Looking through his long lashes, Damon almost feels as if he was looking into the other man’s soul.
It’s not safe to trust Kai, but Damon is warm in his bed. It would be such a pain to get up and go back to his room, and besides, there's nothing wrong with taking comfort in someone’s company in a rough time, right? That’s it, Kai is just a warm body after a cold day. And Damon has been so, so cold.
This is how Damon justifies moving his body closer, pulling the other man into a strong embrace. It’s how he justifies not moving away when Kai puts a hand under his chin and pulls him into a soft, tender kiss. It’s how he justifies waking up the next morning, still tangled in Kai’s limbs.
Damon still doesn’t trust Kai. But for the first time since this killing game began, Damon wakes up warm.