Chapter Text
“One small sound,
One small sight,
One unsheathed knife must glint
In an alternate timeline's light... ”
~ “November,” by Sparkbird
As a ghost, Cole never had a shadow—not a natural one, anyway. There had been nothing of him to reflect, nothing tangible to stand against the sun's rays.
But even in the absence of simple things like shadows, wind-tossed hair, footprints in the sand, and the general feeling of being alive, there had always been Jay. The Master of Lightning had been Cole's shadow when Yang's Temple robbed him of his real one. Even after the Day of the Departed—after the sweet breath of life had filled his being once more—Jay was still there.
Forever his shadow. Forever his friend.
His brother.
Cole just... couldn't recall the shadow ever clinging so close before.
He had felt it since the moment Kryptarium Prison came into view. After the elation of bringing Nya back had faded, giving way to the cold trepidation of their new reality...
They were going to prison.
And, honestly, he wasn’t entirely sure they all didn’t deserve it on some level.
Cole tried to shrug the feeling off. It was cool. It was fine. They would come up with a plan and find a way out, somehow. They just needed to stay calm and put their heads together.
All that in good time.
And yet, the trepidation only grew with every inch Jay closed between them on their already cramped prison bus bench.
Cole had a shadow. He'd always known that, he'd always been okay with that... But this was something different.
This was following him through the Krypterium doors so closely that a sudden stop on Cole's part would've sent Jay crashing into him like a fallen domino.
This was brushing against him in their cell as if Jay was trying to convince himself that Cole was still there.
I'm not a ghost anymore, buddy. I haven't been for a long time.
This was waking up to the warden's morning call only to find Jay sleeping pressed against him in a thin bunk made for one—when Cole could distinctly remember falling asleep alone.
Rolling his eyes, Cole fought the temptation to shove Jay off the bed. Had they not been on the top bunk, maybe he would have. Instead, he ignored Kai's irritated groaning and cursing on the bunk below and began shaking Jay awake.
"Come on, Jay," Cole coaxed. "Time to wake up."
His brother let out a small groan of his own and curled in on himself. The exact opposite of waking up.
Cole had a sinking feeling this was going to be a long morning…
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lloyd get up and start stretching. Despite not using their powers and being "model prisoners" or whatever, the kid acted like he was preparing for battle.
"We need to be ready for anything, right?" Lloyd had said yesterday, simply shrugging and going back to his exercises.
Right. Whatever.
Not that prison had been so bad—not in the handful of days they had been there, at least. Still, Cole knew when he didn't belong somewhere. He knew when something wasn't right.
Sucking down his growing annoyance, he gave Jay another shake. "Come on. You'll be late for breakfast."
"I don't want breakfast," Jay murmured. "I want to go home."
"Yeah?" Cole blew out a breath. "Well, so do I. So does everyone here."
So what? They were stuck there until they could find a way out.
So what if Lloyd didn't seem too keen on staging a prison break?
So what if everyone in Krypterium hated their guts?
So what if the food was terrible? At least it was food… and Cole was starving.
"I want to go home," came Jay's soft repetition.
"Same, okay? Look," Cole went on, adopting a gentler tone as he sagged into their shared pillow, "I'm sick of this place, too, but there's nothing we can do about it. Not yet, at least. So, why don't we just go get some breakfast and take everything one step at a time from there?"
Jay's only response was to tighten his grip on Cole's arm.
Cole... hadn't even noticed the shadow had been clinging that tightly, that... desperately, almost.
Something sparked in the back of his mind. A quick flash, an odd sense of Deja Vu.
"I-I-I just want to go home."
He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to snatch up the memory before it faded.
"I know... I know. I'm sick of this place, too, but—"
It was like pouring water on a ghost. One minute the memory was there, and the next minute it was blinking out of existence.
Leaving only a phantom nausea in its wake.
Gone before Cole even knew what to make of it—what to do with it.
"All right," he told Jay, sitting up in bed. "You can stay here if you want. I'll bring something back for you."
"Wait!" Jay was up in seconds. "No, I'm… I'm coming."
All Cole could do was raise a brow and give a slight nod. It was way too early for this. If he ever got out of prison—when he got out of prison—he was going to sleep in for a whole week straight.
Breakfast was more of the same. Zane complaining in his own compliant sort of way about how the prison warden thought he drank motor oil—he did not drink motor oil. Lloyd reminding Kai not to pick a fight with every inmate who looked at him the wrong way.
And Jay sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with Cole as he picked away at his food. Silent as the grave.
"Welp," Kai began as he heaved himself to his feet, "it sucks, but it's food and I don’t plan on starving here in this hellhole. I'm going to get more. Anyone else?"
Cole would've joined him… was seconds away from doing so... then he felt Jay brush against his shoulder. He swallowed. The trepidation from their arrival was taking on a new shape in his gut, compounded by the phantom nausea that hadn't left him since that spark of memory.
That weird Deja Vu.
It kept him nailed to his seat next to Jay. "Grab me some, will you?"
Before Kai could finish rolling his eyes, Lloyd stood up. "Sure, Cole, we'll get it for you. Right?"
Though Kai nodded, Cole could hear him complaining to Lloyd as they walked away that this wasn't a restaurant and he wasn't a waiter.
Whatever. Cole didn't have time to dwell on his brother's moodiness.
Not when Jay was shuddering beside him, slamming into his shoulder with a sudden jolt.
Cole tried to follow his gaze, but all he saw were his fellow inmates. Ronan, Ultraviolet, a few lowlifes he didn't know clustered around the next table over, that weird dove guy, etc…
Nothing they all hadn't seen every damn day since arriving at Kryptarium.
He caught Zane trying to follow their gazes, too, but the best he could offer their leader was a small shrug. A Your guess is as good as mine that had him returning the shrug and going back to his meal.
A haze lingered after that, one Cole couldn't quite figure out. No one else seemed to notice it, they were too busy trying not to get into a huge fight later that afternoon out in the yard. If Ronan had a bone to pick, so be it, but maybe could he do it some other time? Sometime when Cole’s mind wasn’t preoccupied with this bizarre, nauseating haze. He was as ready to defend himself as the next guy, but the last thing he needed right now was an all-out brawl.
Not when the haze kept thickening with every brush of Jay's shoulder against his own. With each sideways glance and every over-the-shoulder look that Jay no doubt thought went unnoticed.
But Cole noticed. He always noticed.
Noticed the way Jay sagged slightly in relief when the guards broke up the fight and began escorting the ninja back to their cell.
Noticed the way that relief stiffened into something else—was that fear?—the moment he took one last glance over his shoulder.
This time, Cole managed to follow Jay's gaze to a few men hovering half a dozen feet or so from the doorway. He recognized them as having been part of that cluster of lowlifes from breakfast. The ones at the other table.
The ones that were now looking at them all in a way that Cole didn't particularly like.
No, not all of us, he realized with a pang as his shadow pressed in close. They were looking at Jay.
A glance back at Jay revealed a familiar flicker of… something in his dark eyes. Cole couldn't describe it beyond the broad term of "fear," but it was…
He shook his head.
It was as if he'd seen that same look somewhere before. Those same eyes…
Before he could get another look at the leering men, the door slammed shut.
Leering.
Cole swallowed and turned to Jay. That's definitely one word for it, sure.
"Jay," he began, keeping his voice down, "who are those—?"
"No one." The answer was too quick. Too planned, almost. Like he had expected Cole to say something. To catch on.
To catch on to what?
"It's fine, just..."
What's fine?
Jay muttered something before Cole could ask any clarifying questions. Something that sounded an awful lot like I don't want to do this again.
Another pang. Another rush of Deja Vu. This one was even fainter and more elusive than the first, but it had him slipping his hand into Jay's.
His brother tensed for a second before squeezing Cole's hand like his life depended on it.
Now wasn't the time for questions. Not when Kai was talking back to the guards and Lloyd was just trying to keep everyone calm. Trying to reassure the guards that no, they wouldn't be making trouble again, they promised.
Questions would just have to wait until later, Cole told himself as he took a deep breath. Later, when he could lie in bed and wrack his brain for where he'd seen that look before. When he could whisper with Jay after everyone else had fallen asleep.
When he could finally work on cutting his way through the haze.
Jay didn't join him halfway through the night this time, he simply offered to bunk with Cole so they would all have a bed.
"So Zane won't have to sleep on the floor again."
Everyone seemed fine with that and Cole didn't ask questions. Not until they were huddled close and trying not to tumble off one side or the other.
"What happened today?" The question was soft, but he knew Jay heard it. Their faces were close enough together that he couldn't have missed it.
"What do you mean?" came the quiet reply.
"You were jumpy," Cole explained as Jay stilled and kept his eyes decidedly shut. “You’ve sort of been jumpy since we got here, but this time seemed different.”
But Jay's nearly inaudible reply canceled out any pretense of sleep. "Don't worry about it. It's nothing."
"You collided with me at breakfast and held my hand as the guards pulled us out of the yard like I was your last lifeline. That didn't feel like nothing."
Jay was giving his head a small shake, a sign that the proverbial door to the conversation was about to be shut.
Well. Cole was more than prepared to jam his foot in and pry it back open.
"Those men out there. Do you know them? Why were they looking at you?"
"I don’t know, I’ve never seen them before.” Jay was a good liar, he always had been… but somewhere in their friendship, Cole had learned his tells. The shifting eyes, the overly casual shrug. “And they weren't looking, they were just—"
"Jay!" came Cole's harsh whisper. "I saw them with my own eyes! They wouldn’t stop staring! They were looking at you like—” Like they wanted you or something. The unspoken words hung in the air, making Cole want to lose his dinner. Or punch something. Or… find out what the hell was going on… “What happened?”
Jay just shook his head, eyes drifting to the far wall.
“Come on," Cole coaxed, softening his voice. "You know you can tell me anything, right…?"
Another shake of his head as Jay ran a hand down his face. Only when Cole squinted deeper into the darkness did he realize it was trembling.
"I think…" Cole decided to proceed with caution now. Whenever Jay's hands shook to the beat of his shuddering chest, caution was the only path to take. "I should know why you've been my shadow these last few days. You were fine before. We saved Nya, we brought her back. You were… You were fine. If I don't know what's going on, I can't help you."
"I don't think you could help even if you did know."
Cole mustered up a grin. "Try me."
"I don't want to do this again," Jay mumbled after a long moment, almost as if speaking only to himself. "I don't… I don't want t-to…" Despite his weak protests, Jay sucked in a breath. "Do you… Do you remember when I told you about…" He swallowed and Cole watched his chest hitch. "About that alternate timeline?"
Oh…
Cole steeled himself against the mention of that. The “Event That Must Not Be Named.” The month of hell that only Jay and Nya could remember. Every time he thought about it—which wasn't often, thank the First Spinjitzu Master—he hated himself for not being able to recall at least one shred of memory from that time.
"The erased one?"
Jay nodded. "Yeah, uh…" He stalled a few seconds, then bit out a curse. "I don't even know how to… How to explain what—"
Cole placed a calming hand on his brother's shoulder, hoping to steady the oncoming panic that was already settling into Jay's eyes.
With that, Jay managed to take a long breath. "Remember how I said we went to prison...? Well, that means we've been here before like this. With the same guards and the same p-prisoners and… and…"
A shiver wracked Jay's frame and that's when Cole saw it. That flicker in his eyes. The fear that was something more… That meant something deeper.
Something familiar.
"I guess," Jay rambled on, his words coming out far too quickly for Cole's liking, "I'm just remembering certain things from that timeline, even though it never even happened, and it's making me jumpy and—"
The Deja Vu flared up in Cole's chest, ignited by the match in Jay's dark orbs. The match that struck with fear, trepidation, and—
"What kind of things?" As Cole studied him, Jay tried to turn a sudden flinch into a shrug. A montage of the day's events flashed before Cole's eyes and it all kept leading back to... "Does it have anything to do with those men out there?"
Though Jay played it cool, Cole didn't miss the way his bottom lip quivered—or the way he tugged the blanket just a little closer to his chest.
"No… I mean, not really… But… Oh, I don’t know… Cole, I… I hate feeling like this and I thought it was over because that timeline was erased, but I… I-I—" A choked sob cut Jay off.
That's when Cole saw it.
The look. Those eyes…
Once upon a time, Cole had nearly run over a deer as a student driver. The deer in headlights had sported that look.
He sucked in a long, slow breath, even as his heart began beating its way into his throat.
Once upon a time, Cole had comforted a girl back in school after a guy had taken advantage of her on her first date. As she’d clutched his hand, the girl had stared at him with those eyes. Pleading for Cole to do something to make it better.
“Jay, who touched you?”
“No one! You just did, I don’t know!”
The memory slammed him into with such force that Cole couldn’t find his next breath.
“I think you know what I meant.”
“I don’t! I swear, nothing—!”
“Jay!”
A flinch.
A trembling brother.
A timeline that no one but Jay and Nya could remember.
Except… Cole was starting to.
To remember.
Well…
… That part, at least. The part where Jay had spilled his dark secret as they’d huddled together on their cell floor.
The part where Cole hadn’t been able to even brush his fingers against Jay’s shoulder without his brother latching onto his wrist and shoving him away, eyes wide.
Like he thought Cole was going to try something. Like… Like someone had done something…
“There were… They… I didn’t… The guards, they weren’t around… weren’t d-doing their job right. They weren’t there when… when I needed…”
Because once upon a time…
“When I couldn’t…”
Cole had seen that same look, those same eyes…
“I didn’t…”
On his little brother.
“... Oh, Cole!”
He didn’t know what to say. His mouth was full of cotton and his tongue weighed down like lead.
Jay…
Swallowing, he squeezed Jay’s hand. “They did it… Didn’t they?”
Jay jerked his gaze up, eyes frantically searching Cole’s for… something. Cole didn’t know what, nor did he care.
But how? When? Jay had been his constant shadow. For the last few days, neither of them had been apart, not once. How could anyone have—?
Cole didn’t know. Cole didn’t care. His blood was rising to a boil, his fist itching to be planted fast and hard in someone’s ugly face and—
He forced himself to swallow again, to calm down. Calm down, idiot…
“Like they did last time?” he pressed and Jay’s brows furrowed.
But… Cole wracked his memory. They didn’t last time.
Well, they must have done something or else Jay wouldn’t be acting like—
“Th-Three of them jumped me on the way back from… And I c-couldn’t… I wasn’t strong enough… Without my element, I’m n-not… I’ve never b-been… Cole, I’m n-not strong enough!”
“Did they…?”
“... No… But they want t-to… And they’re s-still out there, and I can’t… They won’t leave m-me alone… and they just keep looking at me all the t-time and… and… and—”
Looking.
No. Cole balled a fist. Leering.
“What are you…?” Jay gave him one last hard look. “You… remember that?”
Nodding, Cole tightened his grip on Jay’s hand.
“D-Do you remember anything else about it? About the timeline? About—?”
“No.” Cole took a breath, grateful to find filling his lungs was coming easier now. “No, just… just this… Just that.”
Jay hunched at that, curling slightly in on himself. “Of all the things to remember…” The laugh that followed was a little bit bitter, a little bit hysterical, but very desperate.
“I won’t let them hurt you, Jay,” Cole said, his voice quiet yet fierce. “I swear to you, I won’t let them… let them do anything like that again.”
Though Jay nodded, Cole could sense his words were only a small comfort. In the shroud of night, it was easy to hide. Easy to believe that mere words could face off against your worst nightmare.
In the delicate crepe of night, it was easy to think you were safe.
With the first light of morning would come a very different feeling. One streaked with apprehension and dread. A feeling that would coil around both their necks and squeeze. Squeeze until Jay jumped at every sudden move… until Cole suffocated because he couldn’t do a single thing about it.
He was just as helpless as he had been before. In the erased timeline. Though he couldn’t remember much at all about that alternate reality, the more he thought about their stint in prison, the more he remembered the sharp talons of helplessness sinking into his skin.
And never letting go.
“Just get some sleep,” he whispered. “It’ll all be okay. I promise.”
Jay still didn’t look one-hundred percent convinced and Cole didn’t blame him, but at least he began settling down. His prison jumpsuit scratched against the rough mattress, complaining because Jay still hadn’t settled fully into sleep.
Steeling his nerves, Cole willed the deep pounding in his chest to slow enough for sleep to claim him.
Maybe nothing would happen tomorrow. Maybe he would go about his day and leave it alone. Maybe nothing would happen ever.
But maybe…
Cole tightened the fist at his side as Jay’s eyes fluttered closed at long last.
Maybe…
Maybe, he was done feeling helpless.