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"Hey, Fireheart?" Cinderpaw called to her mentor, abandoning her hunt for a moment. She wasn't scenting anything else nearby anyway.
Fireheart, in the middle of burying a bird he'd caught and a couple mice she had caught, glanced up at her with a hum. His eyes seemed to glow in the low light.
"How come Sandpaw and Dustpaw are still apprentices? Aren't you guys the same age?" It'd been bothering her a little, actually. Were they held back on punishment, or something?
Her mentor hummed again but didn't reply immediately. Cinderpaw padded over to him so they could speak quieter, taking care to avoid crunching on too many leaves.
(He'd definitely set her straight on the need for silence in the forest early on, that was for sure.)
"They're older, actually," Fireheart replied after a moment. His tail swished just above the ground.
"Then why aren't they warriors yet? Did something happen?" She paced around him slowly.
"Ha, no," her mentor laughed dryly.
"Then...?" Cinderpaw tilted her head. She circled him again.
"Do you remember that night Shadowclan stole you and your littermates?" Fireheart asked instead of answering, sitting down and curling his tail over his paws. His eyes followed her. Somehow, he looked... Sad, almost.
"Yeah, of course! It was scary, but then you and Yellowfang and the others came and rescued us, and then Mama wouldn't let us be alone for ages," Cinderpaw told him. She hoped she never had anything to do with those cats ever again!
"And you know that night I made warrior, too," Fireheart nodded. "Graystripe and I. From what I've been told, warriors are usually promoted at twelve moons, if not more. Sandpaw and Dustpaw aren't actually behind, as far as I'm aware. Me and Graystripe just got promoted a little early."
"Okay, but. Wait, but, how old were you when you were made warrior?" She stopped pacing. "And when you were apprenticed?"
"I was... about nine moons old, I think? Don't really know," he shrugged like it didn't matter. "And, probably a little younger than you were? My memory back then wasn't the best."
"But..." Cinderpaw trailed off. He didn't know for sure how old he was? Suddenly, her previous curiosity went sour. Because she was six moons now; it'd been a little over a full cycle since her and Brackenpaw had been named.
His age group had all been apprentices since she was a kit. The realization had her feeling a little cold. The feeling only got stronger when she really looked at her mentor.
His legs and paws looked ungainly, like hers. His face and eyes looked round, like hers. She would bet her best catch his fur was still a little kit-soft, like hers. He was maybe a mouse-length taller than her. The scar over his eye still looked pink and new, and did nothing to make him look older or more experienced; more like, it threw into relief how young he was. She knew she and her brother had been apprenticed early, but it had never quite sunken in until now what it could look like on the other end.
He looked like he should still be Firepaw, instead.
"You're, like. Almost my age." Cinderpaw felt her fur prickling uncomfortably.
"I guess? But that's..." Fireheart swished his tail. He looked a little uncomfortable, which. Yeah, she could relate. "I mean, I'm definitely older than you, but..."
"No, yeah, but like," Cinderpaw fumbled, "That's like. That's like if a queen wanted another litter right after her first one!"
Fireheart blinked at her with wide eyes. Then, his ears laid flat. Tail gone stiff, shoulders growing tense. He looked young, and afraid, and just like Brackenpaw before his first solo hunt. Something sad panged through her chest. Fireheart was like her brother; he was like her.
"We could have been apprentices together," Cinderpaw mumbled at the ground, breaking eye contact.
(Frostfur had been unhappy with Bluestar even before Cinderpaw and Brackenpaw's naming, she remembered now, but she didn't understand why back then, not really. She just knew it had something to do with her mentor-to-be. She never paid it much mind, because even if she was leaving her other siblings behind, she was mainly just excited to start training.
Thornpaw and Brightpaw only just got their naming ceremony a few days ago. At six moons. She was really happy she could spend time with them again! But then she wondered, a little sadly and not for the first time, why Bluestar had separated them in the first place. And now she was questioning why had she been given to such a young warrior, who was barely old enough for the title.
She kind of understood her mother's concern, now.)
"...maybe." Fireheart scuffed the ground with his paw, his eyes downcast.
"I still want you to be my mentor, though!" She hurried to tell him, suddenly worried he might not want her anymore after this. Regretted asking something that ended up being so unexpectedly painful. "I don't care about any of that if it means-"
"No, no," he rushed to reassure, "I still want to train you too! I just didn't realize..."
Fireheart trailed off, eyes going a little distant.
When he didn't continue, Cinderpaw edged closer to him to press against his flank comfortingly. He seemed to appreciate it, if his slight purr in response told her anything.
She was sorry for asking, really. But who could have known?
Eventually, her mentor seemed to shake off the bad thoughts nipping in his head. He sighed, a great big thing, then stood.
"Alright, enough of that," he said in an undertone. Then, louder with forced confidence, "It'll be alright. Let's get back to hunting, okay? You've been doing well with mice, but I want to see how you do with birds next. Sound good?"
"Alright!" Cinderpaw hopped up. She was so ready for birds! She was eager to move on from this, too, especially if it made her mentor look so upset and scared. She didn't want that at all!
"Good," Fireheart smiled. "And thanks, Cinderpaw."
His voice was warm and approving, and if it was a little sad, too, well.
She wouldn't tell anyone.