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"I lost my phone." Todomatsu sniffled before he spoke, eyes getting glassy.
"Eh?" Ichimatsu had been close to falling asleep while sitting up, and he jerked his head in surprise as he realized he was being spoken to. His surrounding were spinning around him for a moment, and he tried to regain his bearings, hiccuping. "How? You just had it. I don't think we've moved in, like, the last thirty minutes."
"I know," Todomatsu whined, taking a shaky breath inward. He was laying on his back in the grass, and he threw his arm over his face dramatically. "I don't remember throwing it or anything. What the fuck. This is so fucked up. Oh my god."
"You're drunk." Ichimatsu deadpanned, looking down at his little brother sleepily.
"You're drunk!" Todomatsu shouted back, too emotional considering the situation at hand. He ran his fingers through his hair, whining and slurring his words. "Help me find it. I can't find it."
"Did you even look?" Ichimatsu slurred, uninterested.
"I did," Todomatsu moaned forlornly, rolling around on the ground. "It's gone. It's just gone. I'm gonna cry."
"Good." Ichimatsu scoffed, staring off into the distance. "Hey. How much money would you give me if I climbed up that tree and jumped to that other one?"
"None. None money. Help me find my phone, Ichimatsu."
"I dunno." Ichimatsu hiccuped, scratching his head. "Did you check your pocket?"
Todomatsu pursed his lips thoughtfully before shoving his hand in his back pocket with a little difficulty.
"Oh my god," the youngest drawled, pulling his hand out, and with it, his smart phone. He stared at it for a moment, as if trying to determine whether or not it was real. He eventually slumped his arm back over his eyes, voice warbling emotionally as he said, "I can't believe I found my phone. I thought I was gonna die."
"You're such a drama queen when you're plastered." Ichimatsu commented dully.
Todomatsu simply let out a groan, holding his phone over his face and squinting at the screen.
"Why did Karamatsu call me, like, fifteen times?" Todomatsu asked, a little annoyed. As he scrolled through the call history, he succeeded in losing the grip on his phone, dropping it on his face. "Ow."
"He's probably looking for us?"
"Why?"
"Because we're gone?"
"We're gone?" Todomatsu scraped his phone off of his head, looking up and Ichimatsu with big eyes.
"Yeah. We ran away." Ichimatsu giggled slightly.
"Where are we... where are we even gone to?"
Ichimatsu gestured vaguely to his surroundings. "I don't know? The park or whatever? You're the one that was leading the way here."
"I thought you were," Todomatsu pouted.
"No. It was totally you. Your sense of direction is totally the worst."
"It's not! You tell us how to get back, then."
"Fuck if I know."
"Ugh. Oh my god," Todomatsu whined, shivering slightly. He rolled over and scooted closer to Ichimatsu, snuggling against his side. "It's cold out here. What if we die of hypothalamus?"
"That's not the right word. It's hypoglycemia."
"Whatever! Oh my god! We're lost! Ichimatsu, what if we die tonight and we don't ever get home?"
"Good."
"No!" Todomatsu wailed, eyes watering. He sniffled and added, "You know how Karamatsu always makes us tea before bed? When we're super, super, super drunk? Like... what if we die and that never happens again? Oh my god. Ichimatsu. I just want some tea."
"If you start crying, I'm leaving you." Ichimatsu scowled down at his little brother, but a hand almost instinctively reached for Todomatsu's head, and he gave it a few comforting pats over his beanie. With his free hand, he took the youngest's phone and opened up the messaging system, typing something up to Karamatsu. "But seriously. I can't walk anymore. So... so that's not happening. So we'll just... wait here for Karamatsu to find us. What's in the immediate area?"
Todomatsu took a shaky inward breath. "I saw a squirrel like two minutes ago."
"Good enough." Ichimatsu typed up the vague, barely legible text, and sent it out. He handed Todomatsu's phone back to him complacently, as if he had accomplished something, and he leaned back on his hands. "Now we wait."
Todomatsu sighed, nuzzling up a little closer to his brother.
"I don't feel very good." He stated.
"Hey, don't throw up on me." Ichimatsu wrinkled up his nose in distaste, vaguely pointing away from them. "Go over there if you've gotta puke."
Todomatsu whined unintelligibly. The fourth brother rolled his eyes.
"What wrong with you?"
"...ke me." Todomatsu's words were so slurred Ichimatsu still couldn't decipher the meaning.
"What?"
"Do you even like me anymore?" Todomatsu tried again, pouting.
Ichimatsu was a little too intoxicated to truly be too taken aback by the question, his senses overall numbed, but it was enough to make him go quiet, and he glanced down at Todomatsu awkwardly.
"What kinda question is that?" He slurred.
"You're really mean," Todomatsu whined, keeping his bottom lip sticking out. It quivered a bit for good measure.
"I'm mean to everyone," Ichimatsu replied simply.
"Yeah, but," the youngest argued, scoffing, "it's different."
Ichimatsu started to get defensive. "You're one to talk."
This made Todomatsu pause. His expression shifted into something Ichimatsu couldn't quite read.
"I guess," Todomatsu said after a while. "I just feel like I haven't really known you since we were little."
He seemed to be waiting for a reply, but Ichimatsu just didn't know how to respond. When it was clear that he would recieve nothing but silence, Todomatsu laughed dryly.
"Do you think I'm fucked up?"
Ichimatsu bit the inside of his cheek. "I think you're a brat."
"Yeah?"
"And impatient. And passive aggressive. And self-centered. And annoying. And unapproachable."
"Okay, Ichimatsu."
"And you're probably frigid."
"Okay! Ichimatsu!" Todomatsu sighed, closing his eyes. "The other guys make me think I'm fucked up, sometimes. And sometimes I don't know."
"You're not fucked up. You're just spoiled. If anyone in this famiy is actually fucked up, it's me."
"Right? But still!"
Ichimatsu's eye twitched in annoyance, and he raised a brow at his brother. "Do you even know what you're saying, or are you just loaded?"
"I just... wish I could be closer to you sometimes." Todomatsu admitted, burying his face into Ichimatsu's jacket in a little embarrassment. "But it's really hard. It's hard to talk to you sometimes. And I don't know why. I just... don't know what to say sometimes. When you get really sad. And I feel like that's when you need me the most. But I just don't get it. And I don't know what to say to make it better. So I don't say anything. Because then when I say something, I always just make it worse. Like when we were in high school."
Ichimatsu shifted a little uncomfortably. He really didn't like talking about their high school days. It was truly when he was at his worst. And Todomatsu was too, honestly. Their relationship had been more strained then than it ever had been before or since.
Ichimatsu just hadn't been himself back then. He always felt so small and broken, like he was something too fragile, the kind of person easily startled by a sharp word or loud noise. And Todomatsu was nothing but sharp words and loud noises, indignant and candid and not yet old enough to know that some things are better left unsaid. He wouldn't learn that until later in life, when he could do nothing but remember all the things that couldn't be taken back.
They didn't mix very well at that age.
"I just wish we could talk more," Todomatsu continued, breaking the fourth brother from his thoughts. "I wanna know how to talk to you. I wanna know more about you."
The youngest got quiet, and when he finally spoke back up, his voice shook a little.
"Maybe I already blew that chance, though."
Ichimatsu didn't reply to this. But after a moment, he simply sighed, bringing up his hand to pet his youngest brother's head again.
"I don't hate you or anything," Ichimatsu said lowly. "I mean, we're still brothers."
"I was so mean to you in high school, though," Todomatsu said, then as if it had only just then come flooding back to him, he covered his face with his hands. "Oh my god. I was so mean."
"Well, yeah." Ichimatsu said awkwardly, not really able to argue with that statement. "Whatever, though. That's over."
"Did you ever used to think I hated you?" Todomatsu muttered, words stifled behind his hands.
Ichimatsu had a little trouble answering him.
"Sometimes. I guess. Yeah."
Todomatsu was still for moment before he moved his hands down, peeking up at the third youngest sadly.
"Do you still think that now?"
The answer inside Ichimatsu's head was "no." But when he opened his mouth to say it, nothing came out. It was enough to surprise himself, the minor slip in autonomy, his subconscious brain coming out to play with the influence of alcohol, telling him things that he hadn't even realized. It had been too long without an answer, and he looked down at Todomatsu, who was at the brink of tears.
"N-no," Ichimatsu replied finally, half for Todomatsu's sake, and half for his own. It was what he wanted to say, anyway. He wanted it to be true. But the youngest brother wasn't at all convinced by his words, sniffling as he wrapped his arms around Ichimatsu's waist.
"I don't hate you," Todomatsu croaked, resting his chin on his brother's thigh. "I never did."
"I know." Ichimatsu kept petting his head absent-mindedly, biting the inside of his cheek.
"I'm sorry if I make you guys think that sometimes. I really don't hate you. I love you." Todomatsu's eyes glistened. "Oh my god. What if we die out here tonight and everyone thinks I hate them?"
"Ugh. We're not gonna die," Ichimatsu sighed, rolling his eyes. "And nobody thinks that."
"But what if they do? Oh my god. Oh my god."
"Stop whining."
"I just...." Todomatsu sobbed suddenly, burying his face into Ichimatsu's stomach. "I'm really, super hungry."
Ichimatsu rolled his eyes so far back again that his head lolled around vaguely with the movement.
"There, there," the fourth brother monotoned, his head pats getting more heavy-handed.
"Ow." Todomatsu responded, blindly swatting Ichimatsu's hand away. His drunken sobs were already tapering off, and he sniffed again. He looked up at his big brother with a somber expression. "I love you, Ichimatsu."
"I know," Ichimatsu sighed. After some consideration, and probably only due to his intoxicated state, he finally added, "I love you too."