Archive of Our Own ^beta

In Percy’s unbiased opinion, there were few things worse than family parties. 

Okay, maybe that was a little bit of an exaggeration. Maybe like, being stabbed or having to do a spelling bee or something equally terrible could top it. But only maybe. 

It wasn’t the family itself. Well, it wasn’t the whole family, at least. (His Aunt Hera was undoubtedly part of the problem). But it was mostly all the crap he had to do to go to the stupid family parties in the first place. Dad was unyielding in his requirement that Percy wear a suit, and more often than not a tie , and he got all huffy if Percy tried to strip off even part of the suit. (Even though Apollo was always taking at least his jacket off, if not his whole shirt!). 

Plus he had to be on his very best behavior at these events, especially since he was pretty sure he was still on very thin ice after his first foray into the Kronosson family parties had gone so south. Although he maintained that him and Jason falling overboard had just livened up what had been a pretty dull party. (Dad strongly disagreed). 

This evening was shaping up to look like yet another equally dull party. And this time he couldn’t even end it early by taking a late night swim since the choice of venue was his Uncle Hades’s home. 

“I don’t get why I can’t just stay home.” Percy had been trying to convince Dad throughout their whole lunch to no avail. “Jason’s not even gonna be there, so why should I have to be?”

His stupid lucky cousin only had to go to like half of the family get togethers. Although that was mostly because Zeus had enough children to have his family well represented without needing to bring all of them every time. Percy wasn’t totally sure if having to deal with a dozen or so siblings would be worth not having to go to every party. 

“Nico and Bianca will be there, they’re around your age.” Percy could tell Dad was trying his best to sound all reasonable and pleasant, but was rapidly starting to lose his patience. Good. Percy was too.

“Bianca is way older, she’s in high school , Dad. And Nico’s a baby.” 

“I believe he’s ten now.”

“No, he’s still nine .” Percy rolled his eyes. Dad just didn’t get how babyish nine was, it was way too young for someone who was a mature twelve years old to be hanging out with. He wasn’t even in the double digits yet, how could he possibly be fun to play with?

“Please don’t roll your eyes, Perseus.” An expected but grating response. “I’m sorry, but I can’t leave you home alone, darling.”

Percy slouched in his chair. “ Can’t or won’t ?”

“I cannot leave my twelve year old home alone for such a long period of time. You know how late these parties can run, and I’ve never left you by yourself for more than a couple of hours.” 

“So won’t .”

“Perseus,” Dad scrubbed a hand over his face, breathing in heavily through his nose, “my love, I’m sorry, but this is not up for debate. You cannot stay home alone all evening, I’m going to have to insist on that point.”

He said insist on that point as if he didn't insist on countless points every single day. 

Percy slumped further down. He must’ve looked sufficiently pathetic because Dad leaned forward towards him, giving him a conspiring look. “How about this, if you can attend this evening without too much fuss, we can sneak out a little early and get ice cream cones on the way home.”

A tempting offer. Dad was finicky sometimes about Percy having sugar (you throw up one time after eating a mountain of cookie dough and suddenly it’s all over for sweets), so this was a rare idea. He must’ve been feeling either bad or desperate, either way it worked out for Percy. 

“Deal. But I want whipped cream too.” 

“I think I can live with that.” Dad held out his hand, Percy took it and they shook on it. 

The lack of Jason immediately proved to be a problem for Percy’s ability to have any fun. 

His options for this evening’s friendship included: Thalia, Bianca, and Artemis (older and all More Than A Little Scary); Apollo (while a less-intimidating-older-cousin option, he would just spend the whole night trying to sneak drinks at the open bar); Nico (basically a baby); Luke (an actual, literal infant-baby); or Drew (always snooty, and how the hell they were even related was still a mystery to him). 

So not a star studded line up. 

Ultimately, going solo seemed like the best case scenario. 

Easier said than done though. Nico was like a bloodhound for him this evening, everywhere Percy went he was peeking around the corner looking for him. He had that little card game with him, and Percy just knew he’d get forced to play if Nico got ahold of him. (Dad was always saying he should play nice with his little cousin, so he would be an unsympathetic ally). 

Percy managed to tour his Uncle Hades’s entire house just by spending the evening hiding out from Nico in every room of it. Nice place, if a little gothic for his tastes.

After having to flee the downstairs office after Nico tracked him down once more, he’d found his way down to the game room in the basement. It felt too exposed though, so Percy ducked into the laundry room off to the side, leaving the door open just enough to see if Nico came wandering down too.

Some of the older cousins had all gathered in the game room. Percy could see Dionysus, Thalia, Bianca, and Drew lounging around on the sofas, and hear them (not quietly) talking about the rest of the family.

“Did you guys hear Hera and Uncle Zeus arguing earlier? Twenty bucks says you guys have another half sibling on the way again.” Bianca was laughing at the possibility, dodging when Thalia tried to whack her with a pillow. 

“Oh yeah? Remind me, how’s your own little half sister doing?” Thalia rolled her eyes. 

“Touché. And Hazel’s doing good, you ass.” 

Percy was already getting bored of the conversation, looking towards the window in the laundry room. How high was too high to climb out of? Dad couldn’t get mad at him for dropping down just a couple feet, right? He wouldn’t even scrape his knees. Probably. 

Just as he was trying to figure out if Youtube would have a video on how to unlock and shimmy out a window (undoubtedly), he heard Drew’s nasally voice chime in. 

“Turns out Po isn’t the holier than thou brother after all, huh? Even he’s got a little mini me running around now too.” 

Percy’s ears perked up, looking right back to the crack in the door. Drew was twirling a lock of hair around her finger, feet propped up on the coffee table. 

Dionysus shrugged, waving around the weird looking cigarette in his hand (Aunt Hera would have an absolute cow if she came down and saw that. Or smelled it, more likely, it smelled pretty funny). “They’ll both have to have another dozen kids to get close to topping Zeus’s brood. At this point, Pops is trying to make his own Von Trapp family band. Pretty sure the only one he’ll be able to convince to sing and dance along is Apollo though, and fuck knows no one wants to hear that.” 

“Yeah, but at least your dad owns up to it right away when he knocks someone up. Po kept his little whoopsie a secret until he couldn’t anymore.” 

It took everything in Percy not to stomp in there and tell Drew that that was some straight up bullshit of a lie. Dad didn’t keep him a secret! Dad didn’t even keep secrets, he was terrible at it. Just last week he’d been wanting to surprise Percy with a new bike, but his face gave away that there was a surprise to be had immediately. 

“I don’t think Uncle Po knew, at least that’s what Pops says.” Dionysus, apparently the only one who knew shit in that room, said. 

“Yeah, that’s what he said. But I bet he knew. He probably kept that kid’s mom in some apartment, like a secret mistress he’d visit,” Drew perked up, getting invested in her own delusional story, “Like in one of those old timey movies. Some secret love nest, giving her a little cash or whatever to keep her from trying to get in on the real family money. But then she had to go and kick the bucket, so now he’s stuck actually bringing the kid into the family.” 

Percy didn’t hear what anyone said in response, the thudding of the blood in his ears too loud to hear past.

Not caring if anyone realized he had been listening in, or if Nico was hovering nearby, Percy slammed the door of the laundry room fully open and stormed back upstairs. 

“Dad.” Percy tugged on the bottom of Dad’s jacket. When he got no response he tugged again, harder, “ Dad. ”

“One moment, Perseus.” Dad reached down and put a hand on his head without actually looking at him, still enthralled in whatever boring stuff he and his brothers were discussing.

Percy huffed, pulling on his jacket once more. “Daaaad.” 

“Perseus, please.” Dad glanced down just to shoot him a quick, sharp look. 

Dad was getting pretty good lately at giving these looks that walked the thin line between stern-and-annoyed-parent and somehow-still-has-never-ending-patience. Percy was almost certain that he was the only recipient of them. 

Throughout their exchange, Uncle Zeus still hadn’t bothered to stop rambling about properties or something just as dumb, looking like he was boring even himself. 

That was the annoying thing about Dad and his family. Dad would complain about his brothers to no end, acting like he couldn’t stand the whole lot of them. But then every time, without fail, he would drag Percy along to one of these dull family parties every single month just to hang out with them. And he’d spend the whole evening standing around with his brothers or other various cousins talking about stuff that definitely all could’ve been an email. As long as Percy lived with Dad, he was certain he was never gonna understand this relationship. Maybe he needed to get a brother too in order to get it.

“But Dad…” Percy could hear the whine in his own voice, and it annoyed even himself. 

Dad pinched the bridge of his nose, giving Zeus and Hades apologetic smiles before turning to look at Percy once more, “Is there an emergency, love?”

“Well no, but–” 

Dad cut him off before he could explain about how awful Drew was and how much he hates this family and wants to leave right now . “If it’s not an emergency then you can wait a moment until we’re finished with this conversation. It’s not polite to interrupt.” Not polite his ass. As if anyone in this family cared about actually being nice and polite. You know what else isn’t polite? Talking shit about someone’s mom, who never even did anything wrong in the first place. That was very much Not Polite. 

Fine. If Dad didn’t want to help, then Percy didn’t need his help.

Turning on his heels, he stomped away from the group of men. 

He stomped all the way to the front door of the house. Pausing to grab his coat off its hook, he looked around behind him. No one was watching what he was doing; Dad had immediately gone back to blabbering away and none of his other relatives were paying any mind to a surly pre-teen. 

Shoving his coat on, Percy impulsively took his phone out of his pocket and stuck it on the entryway table. There. Stupid Dad had stuck one of those stalker-parent apps on his phone after one teeny-tiny incident where Percy was just a couple measly hours late coming home from Grover’s. Now he could see where Percy’s phone, and by proxy Percy himself , was at any given time. Well he was just gonna go ahead and ditch that phone with its stupid app here. Maybe that’ll teach Dad a lesson about Life 360ing his ass when he can’t get ahold of Percy for a little bit. 

He was gonna go somewhere far away from this dumb family and their dumb friends. And because Dad was so dumb too, making him come in the first place and not listening when Percy wanted him (and making him wear a tie!), he wasn’t even gonna tell him where he was going. He would just go on ahead and disappear into the night, like a ghost. Or Batman. Maybe he’d hitchhike back to New York or get on a train headed to anywhere else. Or he could sleep in the park all night long and only come back once he was sure Dad was real sorry in the morning. 

With a final glance to confirm nobody was watching him, Percy opened the front door just enough to slip outside and into the night air. 

Not really sure where he was going, Percy started down the long driveway towards the street. 

“Where are you going?” A voice called out, stopping him. 

Percy spun around, spotting his cousin on the large lawn. Nico was sitting with criss crossed legs on the damp grass, a bunch of cards spread out in front of him. Of all the people to have stopped Percy, this was the one least likely to wind up getting him in trouble, but the most likely to annoy him into wishing he was just having to deal with being in trouble. 

“On a walk.” Percy lied, taking another few steps back. 

“I’ll come with you!” Nico hopped to his feet, bending down to clumsily gather up his playing cards. 

“No.” Percy shook his head. “That’s okay, you keep playing. I can go alone.” He paused, furrowing his brows. “Why are you playing out here anyway?”

Nico shrugged, shoving his cards in his jacket pocket. “Dad said to go play, think he wanted me to just leave him alone though.” Percy could certainly relate to that. “Bianca said she would come play with me out here, but I think her and Thalia forgot. Or just didn’t want to.” 

Percy winced. He’d said no to playing with Nico too and had done a pretty good job of avoiding the little kid all night. “I think they’re inside hanging out with Drew and Di.” 

“Oh.” Nico crinkled his nose. “I don’t like Drew.” 

A guy with good taste, then. “Yeah, me neither. She’s an asshole.” 

Percy resisted the urge to glance around and make sure Dad hadn’t heard him cursing. Calling even someone like Drew a bad name would’ve guaranteed he get at least a swat. Instead, he was rewarded with Nico’s wide eyed giggling. 

Glancing back at the front door to make sure they still hadn’t been spotted by any grown ups (coast was clear), Percy nodded his head back towards the street. “I gotta go now though, so I’ll see you around.”

When Percy took one step back, Nico followed it up with three steps forward. “I wanna come.” He repeated. 

Percy shook his head. “No, I’m not coming back tonight so you gotta stay here.”

“Why aren’t you coming back?”

“Because Drew’s an asshole.” And so was Dad. 

Nico frowned. “Does Uncle Po know you’re leaving?”

Percy pursed his lips, contemplating the answer. He could lie and say yes, Dad knows. But then he ran the risk of Nico going back inside and accidentally running his big mouth about Percy leaving before Percy had the chance to get far enough. On the other hand, if he told him then Nico could purposefully run his mouth and get Percy in a world of trouble. 

Making his decision, Percy shook his head. “No, he doesn’t. But that’s okay, he doesn’t need to know.” He tried to sound confident about it, but Nico looked suspicious anyway.

“Why doesn’t Uncle Po need to know?” Nico stepped forward a few more paces, both of them nearly on the street now. 

“Because he’s being a jerk. So I don’t wanna tell him.” Percy said truthfully. “Look Nico, you don’t wanna come. I’m gonna go hitchhike outta here with some truck driver or stowaway on a train and ride the rails forever or something.” That seemed like what a real adventurer getting away from his jerk dad would do. Like that Huck Finn guy Mom used to read him stories about.

“I wanna ride the rails too.” Nico predictably said. Whoops. He should’ve made what he was doing sound less fun. 

Percy rolled his eyes. “No. Now get lost, Nico. Just go back inside.” 

Nico narrowed his eyes and tilted his chin up cockily. “I’m coming with you or I’m telling.” Damn. Tattling was the ultimate trump card. And the little pain knew it too, looking deeply pleased with himself.

Percy clenched his teeth tight before letting out a long breath from his nose. “Fine.” He ground out. “Fine, you can come. But!” He cut off Nico’s immediate cheer, “but you can’t start crying to go home once we’re hiding out in a train car or joining the circus or something. No babies allowed, deal?”

Nico nodded eagerly, practically vibrating with excitement. “Deal! Come on, let’s go.” He grabbed Percy’s hand, pulling him towards the street. “The train tracks are over this way. I’m not supposed to go there by myself, but it’s probably okay since we’re together.” Percy didn’t have the heart to tell him that the fact that they were doing this together definitely would not mean it was okay in the eyes of their parents. 

They walked for a good fifteen minutes down the street lamp lit sidewalk, winding their way through the quiet large-housed neighborhood Uncle Hades’s family lived in. Nico’s constant chatter was the only sound on the street, and as annoyed as he was about being blackmailed into bringing his cousin, Percy found himself feeling a little glad for it. It was less spooky walking down a deserted and unfamiliar road when the guy next to you was telling you all about the volcano he made blow up for the science fair. (Apparently he’d gotten second place, but Uncle Hades had told him the judging was clearly rigged because he should’ve won. Bianca had said second had been the judges being generous).

They reached the train tracks, plopping down to sit in the dirt on the side of them. 

“Now we just gotta wait for a train to come by, then we can jump on.” Percy explained. He’d seen it in plenty of those old cowboy movies Dad liked. You just had to wait for an open train car to come by and hop right in. There’d probably be whiskey or something cool in the car that could sustain them while they go wherever trains go. 

The waiting turned out to be a lot longer than anticipated. In Percy’s mind, trains just ran through all the time, but apparently they had schedules or something. It didn’t take long for Nico to grow bored, slumping down further and further in the dirt. His chattering had died off in favor of occasional whines. “I’m bored. When’s the train coming, Percy?” Percy finally understood why Dad told him not to whine, it was annoying as all hell. 

“I dunno, I don’t have my phone to google it. Do you have yours?”

Nico shook his head. “Dad took it away yesterday.”

Percy cocked his head, laying fully down beside Nico. “Why’d he do that?”

“I dunno. Said something about me fighting with Hazel too much. But that’s stupid because she always starts it and never even gets in trouble anyway.” 

Percy winced. He wasn’t envious of Nico there. He was stuck in the middle of two sisters, a problem Percy had never had or wanted to have. Or, thankfully, likely will ever have unless Dad had some serious explaining to do. As grating as Dad’s constant attention could be, the idea of sharing it with a six year old sister set Percy’s teeth on edge. 

“At least you aren’t Jason, he’s got like a million sisters.” Percy poked Nico’s side teasingly. 

Nico grinned. “Uncle Zeus collects kids like they’re pokemon.” 

Percy snorted, lapsing into silence again. 

After another few minutes, Nico nudged Percy with the toe of his shoe. “What if the trains aren’t running tonight? How long are we gonna wait?”

Percy considered it, pursing his lips. They could wait here all night. It was nice outside. Unlike New York, the nights in Florida tended to not be freezing. They could just sleep here if no train came. But looking over at Nico, he knew that wasn’t gonna be a popular suggestion. His cousin was expecting a grand adventure, and Percy found himself wanting to make sure he got that. 

Coming to a decision, Percy sat up and dusted his hands off on his slacks, getting to his feet. “Come on,” he held a hand out to help Nico up, “let’s go.”

Nico accepted his hand, standing as well. “Go where?”

Counting the money in his pocket, Percy had just over ten dollars left from his allowance. Not exactly an amount that could start them a new life or get them somewhere to stay the night, but enough for two bus tickets to wherever this bus ran. Hopefully that would be adventure enough for Nico and far enough away from Dad to keep from being caught. 

The bus stop was a few blocks from where they’d been waiting for the train, but by the time they got there Nico was already starting to look tired. Their family parties always ran pretty late, but the kids normally wound up falling asleep in a spare room and being carried out by their respective parents at the end of the night. They were likely reaching the point in the night when Nico would’ve been fast asleep while the grown ups kept schmoozing downstairs. Percy hated to admit it, but it was probably around the time he would’ve fallen asleep too.

When the bus finally pulled up to the stop, Percy had to all but haul his cousin off the bench they’d waited on to step into the uncrowded (empty) vehicle. 

“Two tickets, please.” Percy told the driver, standing a little straighter. He tried to come off as someone old enough to be buying bus tickets at this time of night for him and a little kid. It probably helped that he was still in the stupid suit Dad made him wear. Maybe he just looked like a small butler. 

The driver didn’t bat an eye, taking Percy’s cash and ripping off two tickets for them. Percy noted that they were not charged the cheaper child fare, but decided pointing that out probably wouldn’t help him here. 

He led Nico to the back of the coach, letting his cousin take the window seat. Nico leaned against the window, rubbing his eyes with a closed fist. “Where’s the bus even going, anyway?”

Percy shrugged, leaning his own head against Nico’s shoulder. “I dunno. Probably somewhere cool though.” He tried to sound positive about it. 

Nico hummed, not sounding like he really believed him. 

It didn’t take long for Nico to fall asleep. It was just about the first time Percy had heard him go more than a few minutes without speaking, so it was pretty immediately apparent. Percy closed his own eyes soon after, deciding to just rest for a few minutes before he started thinking about where they’d go next. 

“Kid.” A hand was roughly jostling his shoulder. “Kid, wake up.” 

Percy thought for a second it might be Dad waking him up for school, but that didn’t seem right. Dad didn’t tend to call him kid in that tone and he was never that rough with how he shook him awake. Dad was always quiet and gentle when he’d prod Percy into consciousness, or more accurately into semi-consciousness as he always gave him an extra ten minutes to sleep. 

Blinking slowly, a man came into Percy’s vision. 

Oh. The bus driver. 

He looked annoyed, staring at Percy and Nico. “You gotta get off, kid. This is the last stop.” 

Percy looked around them. Right. They were on a bus. Glancing out the window, he saw that it had started raining, blurring everything outside. “Where are we?”

“The last stop.” The driver repeated. “Come on, you gotta go.” 

Percy turned to Nico, who was slowly waking up as well. “Nico, we gotta get off the bus.” Percy shook his shoulder, gentler than the driver had been with him. 

“Five more minutes, Daddy.” Nico mumbled, turning to press his face against Percy’s shoulder. 

Percy sighed, poking his leg. “No more minutes. Come on.” He shook Nico off his shoulder, standing up and stretching his legs out. 

Nico seemed to finally wake up enough to realize where they were. He groaned, but got up as well, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. They trudged off the bus into the pouring rain. They were barely out before the driver slammed the doors shut and floored it away. 

Looking around them, there wasn’t much by way of buildings. Percy still wasn’t sure where they were, or what city they were even in, and he didn’t recognize anything. 

“We should go that way.” Nico was pointing to their right. Percy squinted through the rain and saw what Nico must’ve meant: a neon sign for a motel in the distance. 

“Perfect.” Percy agreed, leading them towards it. 

Their shoes squelched wetly on the carpet as they stepped inside the dingy lobby. The Waystation Motel looked like it was trapped in the 70s, dirty checkered carpet and peeling wallpaper made the room feel deeply neglected. No one was behind the check-in desk, a sign promised they’d be back in five minutes. But the dust on the top of the sign felt less than promising. 

“Percy…” Nico’s voice sounded dangerously wobbly. 

“I know, I know this sucks.” Percy’s own voice wobbled too, forcing him to clear his throat. “I’m sorry, Nico. I guess I didn’t think this one through too well.” He led them over to the ancient sofa in the corner of the room. “But hey,” he forced his voice to sound positive, “this is pretty cool, right? It’s all retro. I bet there’s lots of interesting people staying here tonight.” 

“Or murderers.” Nico sounded less than appeased.

“Murderers can be interesting too.” 

Percy sat down beside him on the couch, leaning his head back against the backrest. The rain had made his body shake (or at least that was the reason he was gonna go with for the tremors), and despite being out of the worst of the weather, the lobby wasn’t really much warmer. 

Nico was quiet another minute before saying in a soft voice, “Percy, I want my dad.” 

Turning his head to look at his cousin, Percy saw tears welling up in the boy’s eyes. Shit. Now he’d made a little kid cry. And even worse? Percy felt his own eyes stinging badly, a sign of his own tears ready to come. 

“Okay.” Percy worried his bottom lip with his front teeth. “Okay, let’s call it. Time of death on this adventure: right now.” 

He stood back up, looking around the lobby. There was a phone on the front desk, one of those old ones with the cord and everything. Percy walked over to it, going around the desk and picking it up. His hands felt clammy, the handset wanting to slip away. Swallowing and steeling himself, Percy dialed Dad’s familiar number. 

Dad answered on the second ring, sounding frantic in his hello even through the static of the line. 

“Dad?” Percy shifted his sweaty grip on the phone, clutching it between both hands and pressing it against his ear tight enough to hurt. 

“Perseus?” Dad breathed out his name with so much relief it made Percy sag against the rickety check-in desk with the weight of it. “Oh my love, baby where are you boys? Are you hurt?” A distant voice that sounded a little like Uncle Hades repeated his name, causing Dad to pull the phone away and speak too low to them for Percy to hear.

He shook his head, then remembered this was a phone call. “No. We’re not hurt. We’re alright.” He swallowed, throat feeling thick. “I’m sorry.”

Dad made a shushing sound. “No, no we don’t need to go through any sorries right now. Just tell me where you are, your Uncle and I will come get you.” 

“We’re at a motel, the Waystation Motel. I think it’s just off the highway but I don’t know where.” 

“We’ll find it.” Dad promised. Percy could hear jingling in the background, like Dad was already fumbling for his keys. The image of Dad jumping in the car and flying towards them helped to unfurl a tight knot that had been growing in his stomach. 

Nico had sidled up beside Percy and was now tugging on his jacket, making a grabby hand for the phone. “Is Uncle Hades there?” Percy asked. “Nico wants to talk to him.”

“Of course,” Dad must’ve pulled the phone back from his ear because when he called out for Hades he sounded further away. He sounded closer once more when he said, “He’s coming to the phone.” 

When there was the ruffling exchange of the cell phone, Percy handed the handset down to Nico who pressed it against his own ear. “Daddy?”

Percy couldn’t hear the other end of the conversation, but the way Nico’s eyes got all misty made him feel like he was about to win the World’s Worst Cousin award. Uncle Hades was probably gonna kill him for this. And then Dad would bring him back to life just to kill him all over again. 

“I’m okay, Percy’s been taking good care of me.” A lie, but Percy was grateful for it anyway. “Uh huh,” Nico nodded, “uh huh… we’ll wait here, Daddy.” His voice got a little quieter, turning his back slightly to Percy. “I’m really sorry, I just wanna come home.” 

Percy stepped back, walking back to the couch to give Nico a little privacy. Sinking down on the musty smelling cushions, Percy was kicking himself. He was so stupid for this. First of all, apparently if you’re gonna run away you ought to have a little more than ten bucks on you. Second, you probably shouldn’t bring your little cousin along for the ride. He would’ve been better off letting Nico tattle and hoping he could get outta dodge faster than Dad could find him. 

Although, Dad finding him sounded pretty good right about now. 

He was cold and wet and tired and just really wanted Dad to fix it . Dad would know exactly how. He’d walk in and say something like “oh darling” and hug Percy until he stopped shivering. Then they could just go home and be done with this whole fiasco. And maybe, possibly, if he was so extra relieved to have Percy back that he wasn’t even mad about him running away in the first place? That wouldn’t exactly be a con in Percy’s book. 

And if Dad wasn’t that relieved, and instead was very very angry and decided Percy was actually too much trouble to have around after all? Well, maybe Uncle Hades would be okay with taking him home too. Nico wasn’t really so bad to hang around with, so that would be okayish. 

At the desk, Nico said goodbye and hung up the phone before walking back over to plop down beside Percy on the couch. He must’ve read the look on Percy’s face as being nervous, which he was definitely not , because he patted Percy’s arm reassuringly (as if Percy was the little kid needing comfort here). “It’s okay, Perce. Dad’s coming now.”

Despite his lack of nerves, Percy found himself able to breathe a little better after hearing that. Yeah. It was gonna be okay. Dad was coming. 

Percy looked over at Nico, and despite his cousin’s reassurances, he could tell Nico himself was feeling anxious. His eyes were getting all misty and his cheeks were flushing; tears were definitely on the horizon. Percy hadn’t had a lot of chances to get to know his Uncle Hades yet, so he wasn’t so sure if it would be true or helpful to tell Nico that his dad wasn’t gonna be too mad at him. Maybe he would be super mad, who was Percy to say. 

But still, he ought to at least be the big cousin and help get Nico’s mind off their upcoming doom. 

“Do you wanna play that mythomagic game now?” He gently nudged Nico’s ankle with his foot. 

It had the desired effect. Nico sniffled once, but the tears quit welling up. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.” Percy tried to put some faux enthusiasm into his voice. “It’ll be fun. Besides, we gotta kill time somehow.”

Percy might owe Nico an apology for a few things. First of all, for dragging him out here in the first place. But second? For never being willing to play his little card game with him before now.

Because Mythomagic, as it turns out, was actually fun . Listen, it was no zombie slaying video game or anything really cool like that. But for a kid’s game? Yeah, it kinda rocked. 

Percy wasn’t exactly great at it (Nico was kicking his ass), but he’d gotten enthralled enough to miss the headlights pulling into the motel parking lot and the slam of car doors outside. 

He didn’t miss the lobby door slamming open, though. 

Dad and Uncle Hades shoved at each other, vying to both be the first one through the door. It would’ve been a comical, and uncharacteristically brotherly, sight if Percy hadn’t felt like his stomach was dropping through the floor. 

Dad won the battle, his slightly bulkier build letting him push Hades back and get through first. He froze once through the door though, standing in the entry of the lobby and just staring at Percy. Percy stared right back, nose starting to run and eyes tingling once more. He probably just had a cold or something, because he’s definitely not this big a crybaby. 

Uncle Hades made it through the doorway right after, brushing past Dad and walking swiftly to the couch. 

“Daddy!” Nico jumped up, cards abandoned (which technically means he never won, so they could just call this one a draw). He rushed forward, Uncle Hades dropping to one knee to meet him in a crushing hug.

That seemed to break whatever spell Dad had been under. 

He stepped around Uncle Hades and Nico, strides picking up speed as he reached the couch. “Oh darling.” 

And just like that a dam broke behind Percy’s eyes. He was bawling so hard he could hardly even see Dad as he bent down to scoop Percy up. He pulled him right off the couch, arms wrapping Percy up and pulling him so close to his chest that it was like Dad was trying to physically absorb him. Percy briefly had the absurd thought that he was really glad Dad wasn’t a kangaroo because if he was he’d probably stick Percy in his pouch forever so he could never even try to leave again. As it was, the chances of Percy being allowed to so much as leave Dad’s side for a good long while seemed to be rapidly disappearing. 

At the moment, Percy felt pretty okay with that though. Come morning his opinion would likely change, but right now, staying wrapped up in Dad’s arms was the only thing he ever wanted to do. 

Dad was pressing quick kisses all over his hair, like he didn’t wanna miss a single spot. He was muttering in what Percy had come to realize was Greek, quick words that Percy couldn’t begin to decipher but enjoyed nonetheless. 

“I’m sorry.” Percy’s voice was muffled by Dad’s shirt, face pressed against it. 

Dad shushed him, fingers entwined in Percy’s hair. “I know. I know. Let’s just get you home.” 

Worry Percy hadn’t even realized he’d been holding onto lifted off him. “You wanna take me home still? You’re not too mad?” He wasn’t gonna have to ask to go home with Uncle Hades instead? Probably a good thing, because from what he could see in the small window of visibility he had around Dad, Uncle Hades seemed to be busy alternating between hugging and scolding Nico. Not really a good time to have to ask to come live with them.

Dad pulled him back just far enough to give him an incredulous look. “ Want to take you home? Perseus, have you lost your mind? You aren’t going anywhere else for a very long time. Nothing on earth could keep me from taking you with me right now, my love.” 

Oh. Good. Good to know. Percy wrapped his arms tighter around Dad’s middle, not even feeling bad that he was getting Dad all wet from his rain soaked clothes. 

Dad moved, standing up straighter, arms shifting to wrap around Percy’s shoulders. He tugged Percy into his side, not letting him stray more than a single centimeter away. Dad turned them towards Uncle Hades and Nico. Nico’s hand was held securely by Uncle Hades and Percy felt another twinge in his stomach at the tear tracks on Nico’s cheeks. 

“Are you ready to go?” Dad asked, voice sounding scratchy. 

Uncle Hades nodded, tugging Nico a little closer and turning towards the lobby door. 

Dad started to lead Percy the same way when Percy looked down at the floor. “Wait! Our cards.” Percy yanked away from Dad, not missing the disgruntled sound Dad made. He ducked down to the floor, scooping Nico’s mythomagic cards up into a messy pile. He shoved them in his jacket pocket, walking back over to Dad’s outstretched and waiting hand. 

Dad once again collected him, guiding him out to the parking lot and his waiting relatives. 

At the car, Dad opened the passenger door, gesturing for Percy to get in. Percy furrowed his brow, not sure where Uncle Hades would sit. There was no other car in the parking lot. But looking in the back of the car, Uncle Hades had already climbed right into the backseat. He was sitting in the window seat, Nico tucked tightly against his side in the middle spot. 

Climbing into the front seat, Percy leaned against the window as Dad got in and started the car. Dad cranked the heat up, turning the vents to point towards Percy. It took a minute, but Percy felt his body slowly start to dethaw. He hadn’t realized how cold it had been between the chilly lobby and his wet clothes. He wished he’d thought to bring a raincoat, or a warmer jacket at least. All he’d had was the dumb suit jacket Dad always made him bring to these parties (and even that he’d been grateful to have in the end). His nose felt a little stuffed up now that he focused on it, but he’d be damned if he admitted to Dad that he’d managed to give himself a cold running around all night. 

Sniffling as softly as possible, Percy used his sleeve to surreptitiously wipe his nose. He wasn’t subtle enough, Dad’s eyes leaving the road and shooting briefly over to him. Percy felt a rush of gratitude when Dad didn’t scold him for contracting the sniffles, instead wordlessly handing him a packet of tissues from the center console. 

“Thanks.” Percy mumbled, blowing his nose. 

The noise of the exchange managed to break the ice in the car, prompting Dad to ask, “What on earth were you boys thinking?” 

Oh good. That question. 

Percy looked into the side mirror, making eye contact with Nico. His cousin was giving him the this is all you, man look. Thanks. Good looking out, cuz. 

“We just needed to get away from that party.” Percy shrugged, then regretted it when Dad shot him another side eyed look. Dad had like a thing about Percy shrugging. Apparently it was rude, or whatever. 

“Why did you need to get away from the party?” Uncle Hades’s question saved Percy any sort of reprimand. 

“Because Drew’s an asshole.” Nico piped up from the backseat. 

“Nico!” Percy heard a smacking sound and Nico’s answering yelp. He glanced back in the side mirror to see Nico rubbing his thigh with an exaggerated pout. 

“She is an asshole.” Percy felt the need to chime in, take a little heat off his cousin. 

The top of his own thigh received a quick smack from Dad, although it felt half hearted. If he had to wager, Dad likely just didn’t want to be outdone in the parenting department by his younger brother. 

“Well she is .” 

“Perseus.” Dad didn’t sound as scandalized as Uncle Hades had, but Percy got the disapproving message loud and clear anyway. “Why is Drew unkind ?”

Percy suddenly didn’t actually wanna tell Dad why. As mad as he was at Drew, and as much as he wanted to talk smack about her and have Dad agree that she sucked, he found himself not wanting Dad to know about the mean stuff she said. It had made Percy feel crummy, god knows how it would make Dad feel since it was him she was really talking bad about.

“She just…” Percy shrugged again, although Dad didn’t look so irritated about it this time. “She was just being mean about stuff.”

Dad hummed, not saying anything. 

The car filled with silence after that, Uncle Hades and Nico not bothering to break it either. Percy leaned against the car window closing his eyes for a second. 

He opened them again when the car stopped. 

Blinking, Percy saw that they were in front of Uncle Hades’s house once more. Uncle Hades was already getting out of the car, a sleeping Nico in his arms. He nodded to Dad before walking inside without another word. 

Dad didn’t put the car back in drive again right away. Instead, he turned to Percy, giving him a firm look. “Alright, spill.”

“About what?” Percy looked down, fiddling with a loose thread on his pants. 

Dad looked unimpressed. “You know what, Perseus. What did Drew say?”

“How are we related to her anyway?” 

“What?”

“Drew.” Percy turned to face Dad better. “How are we related to her? Why’s she always gotta be at those parties anyway?”

Dad frowned, like he was actually trying to remember. “Her mother is… Aphrodite, my cousin.”

“I don’t think most adults hang out with their cousins regularly.” 

“Perseus.” Dad’s voice had a warning to it. 

“I’m just saying, it’s kinda weird.”

Dad sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What did Drew say, Perseus?”

Percy pursed his lips, looking out the window once more. It was raining again. Autumn was here, apparently, the cold creeping in. 

“Perseus.” 

“She was just being an asshole, like I said.” 

Dad swatted his thigh again, sharper this time. “I do not like that language, Perseus. Last warning. Now what did she say, please?”

Stupid Dad being stupidly determined to get a stupid answer. Why couldn’t he just let crap go for once? Unfortunately, stubbornness seemed to be a family trait. But that was fine, Percy had inherited it too. 

The staring contest that ensued should probably go down in a family history book. Percy thought he held his own pretty well, blue eyes meeting familiar blue eyes head on. He probably lasted a long time, and would’ve lasted even longer! If a loud clap of thunder hadn’t sounded outside, cutting their match short. Percy’s eyes darted out the window again, glancing at the sky and losing him the game. 

Knowing he was beat, he sighed heavily. “She was saying Mom was your mistress. That you, like, paid her to stay away, and that you got stuck with me after she, y’know…”

Dad breathed in long and low through his nose, turning to face the front of the car once more, hands gripping the wheel tightly. “I see.” And then he put the car in drive, heading for home. 

It was a very quiet drive back to the house.

Once there, Percy went to throw his door open, but Dad hadn’t unlocked it yet. He waited for Dad to realize, or to shut the car off. Neither happened.

“Uh, Dad?” he finally hedged. 

Dad looked over at him. He looked tired. And not just a its-three-in-the-morning tired, but a long-suffering kinda tired. How Mom used to look sometimes after coming home from a long shift at work to a messy house and Gabe passed out on the couch. 

Percy really hoped he wasn’t the Gabe-passed-out-on-the-couch in this scenario.

“Darling,” Dad finally spoke, the pet name giving Percy enough comfort to know he probably wasn’t the Gabe here, “I’m sorry your cousin was so rude tonight. You shouldn’t have had to hear something like that. Least of all because of how untrue it is.”

He paused, eyeing Percy. “You know that it’s untrue, don’t you?”

Percy considered it. He knew Mom wasn’t Dad’s mistress. That much was obvious. She’d never spoken about him, and clearly he hadn’t been paying her some sum to stay away. In fact, if he didn’t know better (and didn’t know that storks don’t bring babies) he’d guess that his parents had never actually even met one another. 

But the other bit? Dad getting stuck with him? Well, that wasn’t exactly not true.

Staying on the safe side, Percy said, “Mom wasn’t anyone’s mistress . And nobody could’ve bought her off if she didn’t wanna be bought off.”

Dad smiled, eyes growing a little fond. “No, your mother wasn’t one to be kept anyone’s secret.” 

Percy frowned, cocking his head. Dad sounded certain about that. And he was right, she wasn’t. Maybe they had met once or twice before. 

Dad cleared his throat, the faraway look leaving his eyes again. “And the other part? You know that I am far from stuck with you, Perseus?”

Percy shrugged. “Okay.”

“No,” Dad shook his head, “not just okay , my love. I need to know that you’re aware of how wanted you are.” He reached out, hand cupping Percy’s cheek. “There’s nothing about you that I feel stuck with. I regret not knowing about you sooner, yes, but I do not for a second regret you , my darling.” 

Percy was maybe a little bit too tired right now, because his eyes seemed to be getting a little blurry, and that must be from the lack of sleep. No other reason. He also was maybe getting a cold from all the rain, since his throat felt too tight to answer. Instead, he settled for just nodding, then quickly ducking his head down. 

Dad looked like he wanted to say more, and maybe he was tired too since his eyes looked a little shiny. He opened his mouth a couple times before pinching his lips together in a line. Turning front facing again, he turned the car off and unlocked the doors, freeing Percy. 

Percy hurried inside, heading straight up to his room. He managed to change out of his wet clothes and into pajamas before a knock sounded on his bedroom door. 

Resisting the urge to tell Dad to go away, Percy dutifully opened the door for him. He stepped back, letting Dad enter the room. 

Dad walked right over to Percy’s desk, pulling the desk chair out and taking a seat. He leaned forward forearms resting on his thighs. “I know we would both rather save this discussion for the morning, but I think it best we get it all done tonight so we can start fresh tomorrow.” 

“What if we just called it a night but still started fresh tomorrow?” Percy went over to perch on the edge of his bed, sitting across from Dad. 

“I think you know very well that that is not an option, Perseus.” Dad didn’t look severe exactly, but he looked decidedly less friendly than earlier. “You frightened me tonight. You frightened your Uncle and everyone else, as well. We had no idea where you and Nico had gone off to.” 

Percy shifted, stomach twisting a little at that. “We didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Didn’t you? I think that’s exactly what you meant to do. You know how I know that?”

Percy shook his head wordlessly.

Dad reached into his pocket, pulling Percy’s phone out and holding it up. “You deliberately left this behind at the house, Perseus. You didn’t want me to be able to see where you were or contact you. That , my love, feels an awful lot like someone trying to give his father a fright.” 

Give a fright , god sometimes Dad sounded so old. 

“I was mad at you.” Percy conceded, feeling childish saying it out loud. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time. Punish Dad for not listening when he tried to talk to him, runaway forever, or for a little bit at least, and see how Dad liked it. Judging by Dad’s face, he didn’t like it. 

“Mad at me?” 

“Yeah,” Percy straightened up, trying to muster up his earlier indignation, “you didn’t listen to me. I was trying to tell you how shitty Drew was being, but you were too busy talking to your brothers and wouldn’t listen.”

Dad looked up at the ceiling, seemingly searching for answers. “Perseus, I was in the middle of a business discussion. I would have spoken with you soon if you had just waited a moment.” He paused, considering his words. “But yes, I’m sorry I did not listen right away. However, that does not give you an excuse to runaway . You’re in a great deal of trouble for that poor decision.”

“But it’s Drew’s fault I left in the first place! She should be the one in trouble, not me.” 

Dad pinched the bridge of his nose, a sure sign of a looming headache and fraying patience. “And I will speak to Aphrodite about her daughter. But, although what Drew said was certainly unkind, you still do not get to just unilaterally decide to run off like that, Perseus. That was a poor decision that you made, all on your own, and you are going to be punished for it.”

Percy slouched lower on the bed, the last shreds of his own temper being the only thing keeping him aiming his angry scowl at the floor rather than his father. “I wouldna done it if you had bothered to shut up.” 

He’d spoken through his teeth, but Dad evidently heard, perking up sharply. “What was that?”

Control over his temper officially gone, Percy turned to fully face Dad, giving him what Mom had (un)affectionately dubbed his Grade A Pissy Face. “You heard me. I wouldn’t have left the stupid party if you had shut up for a second and listened to me when I came over.” 

“If I had shut up ?” Dad repeated it like he was only partially sure that it was what Percy had said. If Percy was thinking clearly, he’d try to gaslight Dad a little right now and pretend like he’d completely misheard, like Percy would never be foolish enough to say anything like that. Maybe Dad should get his hearing checked.

But Percy was tired and cranky and had a shit day and therefore was so not thinking clearly. 

“Yeah, if you had just shut your big mouth and quit talking to your stupid brothers you would know that Drew was being an asshole. And! If you hadn’t dragged me to that party in the first damn place, then none of this would’ve even happened at all. So really, this is all your fault.” 

There. That was a pretty good point if Percy did say so himself. If he’d been on a debate team, he probably would’ve just won his argument. Case closed. Give him the trophy now. 

“No, my boy, your running off like that was your own decision, and your own fault. And it is also going to be your own fault when I spank your bottom very thoroughly for you in a moment.”

Percy had never done debate, but he was pretty sure the moderators didn’t say things like that. 

“Dad!” He’d meant to come up with some intelligent rebuttal that would keep his ass safe and sound, but that was the best he could come up with given the blood rushing to his head. 

Dad shook his head, then did the worst thing a person could possibly do in this situation: he actually started to roll up his sleeves . Like he was some 1950s father in the Andy Griffith show or some crap like that. Percy could only sit and watch with horror. 

“Perseus,” Dad sounded so very tired, making Percy look down. He was a real jerk, making Dad stay up all night long waiting for him. Or, god, even worse, making him look for him all night. Had Dad been out wandering around the neighborhood trying to find Percy? Probably. Dad wasn’t exactly the sit around and wait kinda guy.

It felt nice in a gut punching kinda way to know that he had someone who would wait up all night for him. 

“Dad?” Percy must’ve sounded pathetic enough to give Dad pause. His gaze softened, inclining his head towards Percy. “Um,” Percy cleared his throat,  “I’m sorry you had to come get us tonight.” 

Dad took a long breath. “Come here, honey.” He reached his hands out for Percy’s. Percy took them and found himself tugged up to stand between Dad’s legs. “Perseus,” Dad gave his hands a squeeze, “I am not sorry I had to come get you tonight.” Well now Dad was talking crazy, because then why the hell was he even in trouble? Seeing the look on Percy’s face, Dad continued, “I’m not sorry I had to come get you, I’ll always come get you. No matter where you are or when it is. What I am not happy about is you leaving in the first place. That was very dangerous. Anything could have happened to you boys before we got to you. And not having your phone on you means we couldn’t reach you, and you couldn’t reach either of us in an emergency.” Dad had taken on a scolding tone. 

Pausing for a moment, presumably to let that sink in, Dad continued in a softer voice after, “Darling, I need you to answer this next question as seriously as you can.” His eyes met Percy’s and held his gaze. “Were you going to come back? Or were you trying to run away from me, from your home, permanently? Was it just leaving the party or leaving generally?” 

Oh. Hm. Percy shifted on his feet, breaking away from Dad’s stare. “I don’t know.” The grip on his hands tightened in a clear warning that that was not gonna be an acceptable answer. “I really don’t, Dad, honest. I was mad and wanted to leave. I thought I might runaway back to New York or something.” Dad’s sharp intake of breath made him wince. “But I wasn’t thinking very clearly. I needed to just get away, and I changed my mind about New York really quick. Plus I didn’t have enough money for a longer bus ride let alone a plane.” 

When he glanced back as Dad he saw an array of emotions. Some exasperation. A little anger. Mostly hurt. Percy’s eyes stung at that.

Clearing his throat, Dad gave Percy a sad little smile. “Well, I suppose we won’t be raising your allowance anytime soon then, my love.” 

A sob bubbled up in Percy’s throat. “Dad–” He cut himself off, breath hitching. 

“I know, I know,” Dad shushed him. “Let’s finish this and then get some sleep. God knows it’s far too late.” 

Percy expected to be bending straight over Dad’s lap, as had become their horrifying tradition, but instead Dad stood up from the chair. Percy watched as Dad walked over to Percy’s bathroom, disappearing from view momentarily as he went inside. He returned shortly, now brandishing Percy’s own hairbrush. It was a wide backed wooden thing. It had been in the bathroom when Percy moved in, looking brand new but with the kind of weird fanciness that felt very old, kinda like most things in Dad’s house. Seeing Dad hold it wasn’t unfamiliar, he often would brush the tangles out of Percy’s hair in the morning while Percy attempted not to fall asleep into his cheerios. But seeing him with it right now? Warning bells were sounding in Percy’s head. 

He didn’t exactly have any tangles in need of tending to at the moment. 

“Dad?” Percy’s voice felt small and shaky.

“I’m afraid this was a very big deal, Perseus. I know in the past I’ve only used my hand when disciplining you, but this stunt calls for a bit more. I’m going to spank you good and properly with this brush.” Dad sat back down on the desk chair, brush dangling from his hand. “I wish it hadn’t come to this, but I need you to know just how serious I take your disappearing. This will not happen again, young man.” 

He wished it hadn’t come to this? He was the brush wielder here, not the wielded. Pointing out that Dad actually was the one making this decision to let it come to this had never really worked out for him, but it still took a lot to not say it anyway. (Percy was pretty sure the fact that he managed to keep his mouth shut about that showed a great deal of growth and maturity on his part. If only it was going to be rewarded with anything other than a sore ass). 

With a small hand wave, Dad gestured Percy over to him. 

Percy stepped over, bending over Dad’s lap without having to be asked and placing himself right in harm’s (brush’s) way. This must be how it would feel if the executioner asked you to set up your own head-chopping block while they sharpened the axe. Sure, I love to be of assistance, buddy. No problem. 

Dad placed a hand on his back, rubbing a little circle. “You won’t ever run off like that again, Perseus.” He said, like Percy needed to be reminded why they were there. As if he hadn’t said it a dozen times already.

But then he brought that evil ( evil evil evil! ) brush down smack in the middle of Percy’s backside and Percy wished he would take his time saying it a dozen more times. Keep on talking, Dad, please! We can, in fact, delay the inevitable. 

Dad did not delay, though. After that first whack, he kept bringing the brush down in slow but even swats. 

Percy gasped with each one. It had never occurred to him that things could actually get worse than Dad’s hand. Dad had such a strong, large hand that he’d naively mistaken it for the ultimate weapon. But nope. That brush, that was the ultimate weapon. Weapon of ass destruction. He almost giggled at his own joke, but Dad swatting his thighs cut that possibility off. Oh well, he’d just have to remember it to tell Jason later. 

“You scared me terribly, Perseus. You aren’t in trouble for frightening me and your Uncle, but you should know that it was a consequence of your actions. We were worried that something terrible had happened to you and your cousin. You were gone for hours with us assuming the worst.” Dad’s voice was loud and clear over the rhythmic smacking, each spank hammering home his point. 

“I’m sorry!” Percy almost added once again that they weren’t trying to scare Dad, but that would be a bald-faced lie and they both knew it by now. Lying to Dad didn’t feel smart right now. Certainly not while his ass was well within spanking range. 

Dad raised his knee up higher, giving every inch of Percy’s backside and thighs equal treatment. Did he always have to be so damn fair all the time? 

“If you need space to cool off, next time you will tell me. I would have allowed you and Nico to take a walk around the block together. Or we could have simply gone home since you were upset. If someone is cruel to you, I’ll never make you stay at that function, darling.” The kind tone of Dad’s voice was undermined by the heat building up from the brush. 

Percy was burning that brush first chance he got. Dad didn’t let him have matches or lighters (don’t get him started on that baby treatment) but he was sure there was some candle lighter somewhere in this house. Or maybe he could bring it to the next family party and suggest a little bonfire. Apollo or Thalia would probably help him with starting one, and they weren’t likely to snitch if a little brush made its way into the kindling. 

Fantasizing about the destruction of a probably expensive medieval weapon could only distract him so much. By his calculations, Dad hadn’t been spanking for close to as long as he normally did. And yet, Percy’s backside already hurt what felt like ten times worse than ever before. Unlike Dad’s hand, which was a sharp sting, the brush felt like a hard thud that left behind a deep heat. He wondered if Dad had any clue how bad this hurts? He was almost positive that Dad couldn’t possibly know, because there was no way he’d subject his only son to this evilness if he did. Percy ought to let him know, just in case. “Dad! Dad that really hurts!”

Dad must not have got that he meant really really because he kept right on spanking away. 

“Seriously Dad, my ass burns! I’m sorry!” 

“I’m very glad to hear you’re sorry, love. I hope that means we won’t have to do this again. But please watch your language.” If there was one thing Percy could count on, it was Dad always caring about stupid cursing. He sounded so ridiculously calm right now even though Percy was about to be a blubbering mess, it was infuriating. 

When Dad brought the brush down once again, making what must’ve been the hundredth circuit up and down Percy’s backside, Percy’s composure completely gave away. He burst into loud tears, shoulders heaving. 

Dad said something softly, but Percy couldn’t hear over the sound of his own wails. (He was eternally grateful that Dad’s house was too far away for any nosey neighbors to be able to get an earful of this). 

A final few swats landed harder than the previous, jerking Percy forward with the force of each one. His crying took on a new, never-before-made-by-the-human-mouth sound. He was beginning to give himself a headache with it, so god only knows what it was doing to Dad’s ears. 

Despite the high pitched wailing, Dad still lifted Percy right up to sit on his lap, pressing Percy against his chest and subjecting his ears to more of the noise up close and personal. He tucked Percy’s head under his chin, wrapping his arms tight around him. 

“Darling boy.” Dad was saying, sounding muffled with all the ringing in Percy’s ears. “My darling boy.” 

Dad didn’t say much else for a few minutes, just occasionally repeating that phrase while he rubbed Percy’s back and planted small kisses to his hair. For his part, Percy focussed on ruining Dad’s nice dress shirt with his tears. At this rate, the dry cleaner wasn’t going to be enough. 

He was almost mad when his crying tapered off. His bottom hurt so bad, it felt like he should be bawling about it nonstop for the next week. But, alas, his eyes eventually dried up, leaving behind just a scratchy feeling and a stuffed up nose. 

Dad didn’t seem overly bothered with the state of his dress shirt. He rolled one of his sleeves back down, using the cuffed end to wipe at Percy’s cheeks, as if tissues didn’t even exist. “Will you make me a promise, Perseus?” Dad asked quietly.

Percy nodded, ready to promise the guy with the hairbrush still in reach just about anything. 

“Promise never to runaway like that again, my love. If you went somewhere I couldn’t find you–” Dad took a shaky breath, “well, I suppose I would just have to find you anyway. But I would rather you just came home on your own accord.” 

“I promise.” Percy’s throat felt like sandpaper, but Dad understood because he nodded and pressed another kiss to Percy’s forehead. 

“Good boy.” Dad ran a hand over Percy’s hair, smoothing it down. He must be a bit of a mess right now, between the late hour, the rain, and the ass-kicking. Honestly, he could actually probably use the brush now to operate as an actual hairbrush and fix his mop. 

Dad lifted Percy off his lap, standing him up on his own feet before rising as well. He checked his watch, wincing at the time. “Well, I suppose we’re already well past your bedtime.” Percy scowled at the reminder of said bedtime existing. “Perhaps we ought to make the most of it.” 

He gave Percy a small conspiratory grin. “If you go wash up and get into pajamas, I’ll fetch us some ice cream. I believe I had promised you to get us some on the way home.” 

Percy perked up, less tired at the prospect of sweets. “With whipped cream?”

Dad looked offended. “Of course, I’m not a tyrant.” Turning Percy towards the bathroom, Dad shooed him off to shower and change. 

Percy emerged down in the kitchen, cleaned off and pajama’d up. Dad wasn’t in there, but the backdoor had been left open to the porch. 

Stepping outside into the autumn air, Percy was glad he had a sweatshirt on. Even in Florida, the crack of dawn was chilly. 

Dad was seated on the steps leading down to the beach, two bowls of ice cream in his hands. Extra whipped cream.

Percy sat down beside him, impressing himself by only wincing and squirming a little. Dad diplomatically didn’t comment on the shifting and simply handed him his bowl. Percy shivered as he shoved a big bite in his mouth.

“Do you think Nico’s in too much trouble?” Percy asked, using his spoon to smoosh some of his ice cream into a soup-like consistency. 

Dad dropped an arm around Percy’s shoulders, tucking him close to his warm side. “Never tell him I said this, but your Uncle Hades is a big ol’ softy at the end of the day. I’m sure Nico will be just fine.” He took a bite of his own (less whipped creamified) dessert. “Did you have fun with your cousin, all things considered? I didn’t think the two of you often played together.”

“Yeah, we don’t normally.” Percy shrugged. “He’s alright though. We played that card game together and it was pretty fun, actually.” 

Dad hummed, rubbing Percy’s arm absentmindedly, keeping him warm. “Perhaps we could get our own set of the game.”

“Yeah, Grover would probably like it.” Percy paused, spoon halfway to his mouth. “Oh crap!” 

“What is it?” Dad looked down at him in alarm. 

“I forgot to give Nico his cards back! They’re in my jacket pocket.”

Dad relaxed again. “Well, I suppose we’ll just have to see your cousin again soon so you can give them back. I’m sure Hades wouldn’t mind bringing him over one of these days.”

“Yeah, alright, I guess that would be fine. He’s okay, y’know, for a little kid. Plus he doesn’t like Drew too, so that’s a win.” 

Dad smiled, ruffling the back of Percy’s hair. “I don’t think I like her too much, as well.” He dropped his voice a little lower to tell a secret, “And you know, I don’t particularly care for Aphrodite either. She’s kind of an asshole too.”

Percy gave him an affronted look. “Language, Dad!”