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"Can I... stay myself this time?"
Sadie blinks, frozen.
"I mean, just, like, as an experiment? Just to see what it's like! I'm... more experienced with my own body, anyway." Amethyst knows she's treading a dangerous line. She just—
She has to try.
Sadie sits up from her position holding Amethyst's neck and props herself onto Amethyst's legs. "Amethyst, I—I don't—" she stammers. Amethyst notices her shrinking into herself, backing away, and she places her hand, which is looking suspiciously like Lars', on Sadie's hip and holds her there firmly.
"I mean, I thought we had agreed on what we were doing," Sadie continues, a quiver to her steadily rising voice. "You offered to—to help me find closure with Lars, Amethyst, you said you wanted to."
Amethyst's eyes open wide and she rises up as well, keeping her hold on Sadie's side. "I did— I do! I swear, Sades, I just thought I'd, like... bring it up, or something, I don't know. I wanted to make sure you still wanted it like this."
A disbelieving look shadows her face. "What makes you think I wouldn't?"
Amethyst pauses. "It's... Like, it's fine, and I don't mind or anything, but it's kind of been a few months, Sadie. It doesn't seem like it's about closure anymore."
Sadie inhales sharply and her mouth sets in a line. Backing off of Amethyst's lap slowly, she says, "You— You don't know what you're talking about, Amethyst." Sadie slips farther away, and Amethyst loses her grip on her. "It's only sex, it's not like we were living a life together," she scrambles. "I just needed some comfort. I had nobody."
Sadie is fully on the mattress now, no longer touching Amethyst at all, and Amethyst quickly brings her legs underneath her and grabs at Sadie's arms. "I know, that's what we talked about after we did it for the first time, I just didn't know if it still meant the same to you."
Sadie nearly scoffs, defensive in her body language. "Of course it did, it was never anything else." Amethyst looks into Sadie's eyes and sees nothing.
Sadie fixes her gaze firmly on Amethyst and clearly states, "Amethyst. It was never about you."
Amethyst shakes her head as her stomach plummets. "Yeah, I—I know that, obviously. Sadie, I was kidding around. It doesn't even matter. Look, we don't have to stop, just— Just come back." She reaches for Sadie to pull her in again and misses as Sadie shifts back. "Sadie, please."
Sadie never shifts her eyes from Amethyst as her feet hit the floor beside the bed. She quickly begins to gather her clothes and tries to throw them all on. "You— I need to leave."
Amethyst scrambles off the bed as well to follow Sadie's movements, snatching her clothes to toss on as well. "We're in your house." Sadie doesn't take pause.
Having zipped up a light hoodie and unbuttoned jeans shorts, Sadie avoids Amethyst's eyes and yanks the strap of the backpack on the chair in her bedroom to shove her phone inside as she makes large strides out of the room and towards the front door. Amethyst runs after her.
A choke in her voice, Amethyst exclaims, "Sadie, baby, I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry. Please, just come back to bed and we can fix it, I will fix it, you know I will."
Sadie is at the door now, trying to find her keys from the depths of her disorganized bag, as Amethyst grabs her shoulder to turn her around. Jerking back, Sadie yells, "Don't." When her gaze lands on the person behind her, she sees Lars looking back. She nearly screams, but only flattens her back to her door, dropping the bag entirely.
Lars' voice tells her, sweetly, assuringly, "I can be this for you, baby. I know it's what you want, I'll do it."
Just as Sadie is registering a glassy shine to Lars' eyes, large hands grab the sides of her face and lips slam into hers, hard enough to leave a bruise. Wrenching those hands away from her face and shoving Lars in the chest as hard as she can, she shouts, "Fucking get off of me." Lars stumbles back, barely catching himself before falling. His face is utterly stricken, like she's torn him in two.
Lowering her gaze, Sadie points a finger towards the door and a fist balls up at her side. Almost quietly, she heaves, "Get out of my fucking house." Lars doesn't move quickly enough, hasn't moved at all, and Sadie is shaking head to toe. "Get out of my fucking house, Lars." Lars blinks and finally rights himself, and Sadie can hear the gears turning in his head about how to reach the door without getting too close to Sadie. She does not move.
In a blur, Amethyst opens and closes the door without a word. After an amount of time Sadie cannot recall, she turns sluggishly and lifts the blinds to a front window and sees no one.
She locks the door.