Chapter Text
“I'm going now!”
Bugs sighed. Not this again. “Daffy…”
“I swear I mean it this time! I'm serious!”, Daffy yelled at him from the front door.
This was now the third time this month. Tired, Bugs looked up from his newspaper. “I told you already you don't have to move out”, he explained.
Daffy was still standing there, doorknob in hand. He didn't look as if he really wanted to leave. But if he hoped that Bugs was going to fall to his knees and beg him to stay, he had munched on the wrong carrot.
“No, no, I have to”, Daffy replied, lifting his gaze to the ceiling dramatically. “It is about time for me to stand on my own to feet. To live an autonomous life, to learn how to fend for myself, to be my own man.” He paused. “Well… you know what I mean.”
Bugs sighed again. “Okay. Wish you luck.”
He didn't receive an answer for some seconds.
“It is really not going to be easy but you know, it's the right thing”, Daffy started again, as if he hadn't even heard him. “You have taken care of me for long enough! Paid my food, cleaned up my messes after me. No, I really can't put you through this any longer. What kind of friend would that make me?”
“You know”, Bugs turned over a page of his newspaper. “I am glad that you see it that way as well.”
Again, a slightly longer pause. Bugs secretly took a look at Daffy, who was fiddling with the doorknob, an insecure expression on his face. Hm. Bugs turned his gaze away again and continued reading. “If you want to stay, just say it”, he commented. “Just do what you want.”
“Oh, oh, I so am going to do what I want!”, Daffy confirmed loudly. “It's not like you could ever stop me from doing what I want. And what I want is to leave. Now. For ever. Farewell.”
Wow, that was drastic. “Okay”, Bugs said.
“You are never going to see my face again”, Daffy said. He had finally succeeded in opening the door. “Most likely I am moving to Europe. I'll get a new name and restart from the beginning. You wouldn't be able to find me if you wanted to.”
“Hm.” Bugs reached for his cup of coffee and took a sip. “Whatever makes you happy.”
“It is going to make me happy alright?”, Daffy snapped.
Bugs had trouble taking Daffy's tantrums seriously. It was like being yelled at by a puppy. Or a stuffed animal. Almost a little cute. But mostly exhausting.
“But make sure to think this through”, Daffy said, “because all this…”, he made as suggestive motion towards his body, “will not be available to you anymore!”
“Eh”, Bugs said. He had given up on trying to understand Daffy's antics. “I can live with that.”
“Fine!”, the duck yelled. “Me too! I don't need friends who are as ungrateful as you. I'll find better friends. Friends who actually respect and value me!”
“Whatever you say…” To be honest, Bugs wasn't really listening at this point. Conversations with Daffy always went kind of the same. The smartest move was to just not to play along with his games.
One last insulted “fine!” and one moment later Daffy had shut the door behind him with a bang.
Two days later it rang at there door. Bugs got up from the couch and crossed the living room to open.
“Hey”, Daffy said. He was wet to the bone from the rain and dressed in a pink, glittery princess dress.
“Hey”, Bugs replied and stepped to the side so that Daffy could enter. “Nice dress”, he commented.
Daffy huffed. “Not at all. It is shapeless, terribly cut and the bow is way too long.” He slipped past Bugs and shuffled in direction of the stairs. “I'll go shower”, he announced. “Don't disturb me. It could take a few hours.”
“Hm.” Bugs closed the door and returned to the couch. Everything was exactly as it should be.
And who would have thought, one week later it was that time again.
“You want to move out again?”, Bugs noticed.
Daffy glanced in his direction looking confused. “Huh?”, he made, before looking down at the suitcase in his hands. “Oh! You mean because I packed all of my things in a suitcase and am now going towards the door without saying goodbye. Do you wish I had said goodbye?”
“Ah, yes? I mean, a little thank you and goodbye would have been nice after all these years.”
“Right. How many years has it been exactly?” Daffy put his suitcase down and thought. “Well, we have five years…”, he said, holding up the five fingers of his left hand. “And then that year we spend in prison, and then another year for that time Christmas was so hot and I was almost killed by a polar bear… Ah…” He let his hands fall again. “I don't know, who can keep up with these things anyway? It's impossible!”
Bugs looked at him, unimpressed. “It has been exactly-“
“Anyway it's not that important”, Daffy interrupted. “The important thing is, I have packed my suitcase-“
“You mean my suitcase”, Bugs corrected. This time, it was him who had done the interrupting.
Both of them stared at the suitcases.
“Oh, wait a minute!”, Bugs exclaimed in surprise. “That actually is your suitcase!”
Daffy snorted. “What do you think me to be? A no good freeloader without any honor?”
The look Bugs gave him spoke louder than a thousand words.
“You know what, I think it's better you don't answer that. You might end up saying something you regret.” Daffy opened the door. “For your information”, he then said, throwing one last look behind him, “I am not moving out. I am going to a three days seminar for advanced cosmetics.”
Bugs eyes widened so much that they almost hopped out of his eye sockets. “What did you say?”
“Yeah, now you're impressed.” Daffy grinned smugly. “I already have a hair-dressers license, and next I am going to train to become a real make-up specialist. It's not like I need training. Guys like me, they don't need training, they have talent! We are winners! By default.”
Bugs ignored Daffy's theatrical gestures. “Wow, I am impressed”, he said instead. “That’s good. Really good.”
“Yeah, I figured you would be jealous.” Daffy gripped his suitcase and stepped outside. But then, before closing the door for good, he hesitated again. “Just… if I had wanted to move out. You know, I can still leave. Anytime I want”, he said, without directly looking at Bugs. “Would you… I mean… would you want me to stay?”
Bugs shrugged. “Eh. You know. I want what's best for you. What makes you happy. Don't want to tell you where you have to live.”
“Yeah, sure…” Daffy laughed. “Already told you, it's not like you could actually tell me what to do… just, would you want, even though what you want would have no impact whatsoever on my decision, would you… want me to stay?”
“I want what's best for you”, Bugs repeated. He was pretty sure that he had given the right answer. But if he did, why was it then that Daffy was looking so disappointed all of a sudden?
“Right. Right, right”, he said, with a voice unusually dull.
Bugs frowned. What exactly…
“Well then, sayonara Bunny!”, Daffy yelled, grinning wide. “I'll see you in three days! Or maybe not. If I master the seminar as well as I plan to, I'll become the personal make up artist of a famous popstar in no time and you know, from there it's only one step and a little flattery to becoming one myself!” He saluted playfully and then he was gone.
Hm, Bugs thought, as he slowly moved in the direction of his coffee machine. Something about this was weird. Very weird. He didn't quite understand it yet. All he knew, was that something about this situation was absolutely not as it should be.