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If Chosen was being completely honest with himself, he didn’t expect that agreeing on Alan’s offer to stay in his PC would make his life… actually pretty peaceful. Even though Orange had promised him that Alan has changed for the better and all, he still almost expected Alan to return to his old ways, put another shackle on him at any moment and force him to be an ad blocker for him again.
But, as surprising as it was, that didn’t happen.
And it kind of baffled Chosen. He guesses this is the 'trauma response' he once heard Orange whisper about with his friends.
...Orange seems to forget a lot of the times that Chosen has enhanced hearing among all the other powers.
Of course, considering all the things Alan has done to him in the past, he’s still pretty nervous and even scared to be around him, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. Because why would he be scared of someone who’s so good to the other stick figures in the PC? Chosen feels like he doesn’t have the right to be scared even though he totally does. He still keeps his distance just to be sure... but still-
Alan even lets the other sticks leave the PC anytime and even bring in their friends! That was how Chosen came to meet with Purple and King Orange. He was a bit anxious to meet new people, and even a little excited, though they seemed kinda wary of him, knowing about his criminal past, which... isn't completely biased.
Even the color gang was somewhat apprehensive of him. He has no idea why, since they don't even know about his past, but he has a feeling it has something to do with the fact that they got stabbed and died the last time they were around him. Trouble seemed to follow them whenever Chosen was with them. Chosen couldn’t blame them. How could he?
It was his fault that they were near Dark anyway.
Dark…
Even thinking his name makes his heart ache.
He doesn't like the feeling. It makes everything complicated.
After all, Chosen has never been one to like the destruction and the violence they were instigating. Of course, it did feel exhilarating to blow out some steam on the various games and apps at first, but as they got to targeting websites that had other stickfigures like them living there, it started to feel... wrong to him. It almost felt as though he was becoming too much like... Noogai...
Chosen doesn’t know if he should mourn Dark or be glad that he can’t cause destruction anymore and influence him to join. The first option seems like the most likely one, but Chosen doesn’t dare to act on those feelings, even though every item and every interaction between the color gang reminds him of Dark and makes him want to claw his own heart out.
He has a feeling that the others wouldn’t like the fact that he’s mourning their literal murderer.
Especially Alan…
Alan had seemed pretty mad and annoyed about how The Dark Lord wrecked his whole PC with the virus. Alan had ended up having to deal with cleaning up the residues of the virus for days after that, which was tedious and made Alan a little grumpy. So Chosen has no idea how Alan would react to that information.
…Scratch that, he can guess what would happen.
Right now, Chosen is trying to think about it as little as possible and instead watches as the others play Uno, sitting in a weird white room. Chosen sighs, leaning his head on his palm, engrossed by their game for a moment, trying not to laugh as he hears Green shout "UNO!" and Red let out baffled noises and claim that Green was cheating. Until something catches the corner of his eye… and immediately makes him freeze in his place.
There it was.
“YOU HAVE WON A NEW IPHONE! CLICK HERE TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!”
Chosen knew that this would happen eventually, but he didn’t expect it to be so soon. He stares at the ad, feeling his whole body tense up, his breathing becoming shallower, and smoke starts to come out of his hands.
He’s momentarily distracted by the laughter from right beside him. It takes everything in him to control himself and to not laser whoever was standing behind him. He looks back and sees Green chuckling a bit, also looking at the ad. It appears that he has already finished the game and was taking a walk around the PC while the others were finishing up. Seeing Chosen’s confused face, he says.
“Heh, if TSC was here, he would’ve completely obliterated that ad”
Chosen tenses up even more. He looks back at the ad. Okay, that didn’t help at all. But here’s Green, laughing about it as if it’s nothing.
Chosen decides to speak up. He narrows his eyes, not taking them off the ad.
“And he does it… willingly?” Chosen asks, perplexed. That was possible??
“Oh yes. He gets so annoyed by them. One time he was so mad at the ads appearing that he literally knocked out Yellow and Blue with one hit!”
Chosen finally decides to look back at Green, realizing that it’s actually funny to the others, and not traumatizing as it was to Chosen.
Still, Chosen can’t let TSC continue doing this. What if... what if Alan sees him do it and chooses to make TSC into an ad blocker? What if Alan goes back to his old ways because of this? What if-
Chosen shakes off the thoughts of paranoia, but still ignites the fire in his hands and aims it at the ad, completely destroying it and turning it into ash. The sight of it should've given him relief, but it only made his hands itch more.
Green looks surprised for a moment, but then he just shrugs, not thinking much of it and raises his hand to pat Chosen on the shoulder as a friendly gesture however decides against it, knowing Chosen's skittish nature, before leaving back to the others around the table.
Chosen stares after Green for a moment, before getting distracted by another ‘pop’ which makes him immediately turn back to destroying the ads that kept appearing in front of him one by one, sometimes even two or three at once. His eyes' color starts to light up into bright red.
A minute passed. Two… five… ten. It almost seemed like the ads would never stop popping up. Chosen had to sit down after fifteen minutes of this, as if destroying a few ads had completely drained him of his energy. As if some sort of invisible weight was dragging him down. But, as tired as he was, he never stopped destroying them, looking almost dazed now.
If Green is being honest, Chosen was acting a bit weird. They were just a few ads, what’s so bad about them? Chosen was acting like it was the end of the world or something. It was rather… concerning actually. The look in his eyes were that of a wild animal’s, and Green thinks that maybe something is seriously wrong here.
He sets down the Uno cards on the table, muttering something to the others, and goes back to Chosen, who didn’t even notice him.
“Hey, TCO? You good there?”
No answer.
“TCO? Chosen? Chosen!”
Still nothing. Green is now seriously worried. Even Second wasn’t this dazed when destroying the ads. Sure, he did slam Yellow and Blue into the ground first, but he snapped out of it fairly quickly after he realized what he did.
But Chosen didn’t react even when Green shook him by his shoulders. He looked like a robot, not even taking his eyes off the ads.
Green knows it’s useless to try and ‘wake’ him up without any help. But who could help? He doesn’t even know what’s going on with Chosen and why he’s acting like this. And it’s not like the others knew him much. Chosen was mostly a secretive person.
Who could know at least something about him…?
Oh right!
Alan! He needed to get Alan!
Green turns to look through the monitor, but Alan wasn’t sitting in front of the computer, although he was in the room.
Now, Green just needs to find a way to get Alan’s attention…
He looks at the wires connected to the PC, and notices Alan’s phone on the table, and he immediately gets an idea.
For a few minutes he just watches Chosen, hoping that he would snap out of it by himself eventually, but he was too naive to hope that. He sighs, glancing at Chosen one last time and then runs to the corner of the PC, clicking on the settings icon and after that mailing himself into the phone Dropbox.
Green was hoping that the message would make a sound to get Alan’s attention, but turns out that his phone is on silent, so Alan doesn’t notice anything. Green groaned.
Why does everything have to be so complicated?!
Green facepalms, watching as Alan was doing Cursor knows what in his room, not paying attention to anything else around him. Green then mails himself back into the PC, the monitor making a quite loud sound as Green gets out of the mail. Green stops for a moment, his eyes widening in realization.
How could Green forget that the PC could also make a quite loud sound?
He grins as he watches Alan’s attention avert from whatever he was doing to the monitor. Green jumps up and down, waving his arms to make Alan notice him, then drags TSC over, who looks incredibly confused. As Alan starts approaching them, Green quickly says.
“TSC, out of all of us only you can talk with Alan. Please tell him that something’s wrong with TCO.”
TSC blinks a few times, then glances back at where Chosen was, his eyes narrowing as he sees the ads again, but as he focuses on Chosen, he gets a bit worried and confused again.
“What’s… what’s wrong with him?”
Alan, who was already in front of the monitor, pulls the painting app over to where TSC and Green were and starts texting in it.
[Hey guys, you were calling me?|]
Green doesn’t answer TSC’s question, continuing to look at his friend pleadingly. TSC narrows his eyes, considering it, but he couldn’t say no to Green’s pleading face. TSC sighs, jumping up into the painting app.
“Yeah, we were. Could you look at Chosen for a moment? Green thinks that something’s wrong with him.”
Alan stares at the text for a few seconds, then squints his eyes, trying to find Chosen on the monitor. He spots him sitting on the ground, one hand around his knees, and the other one setting multiple pop up ads on fire. Alan blinks a few times to make sure he’s seeing it right.
Wait, pop up ads?
Alan raises an eyebrow. He had honestly thought if Chosen saw one of those ads, he would try to run away from him as far as he could… after destroying his PC, of course. So Alan was surprised to see Chosen destroying the annoying ads mindlessly instead.
The moment Alan gets too close to the screen, Chosen immediately flinches and stops destroying the ads for a moment, staring right at Alan through the monitor, or at least that’s what it felt like to Alan.
He then notices Chosen looking back and forth between him and the ads, while still continuing to destroy them, as if to show him that he was doing his job right.
Alan freezes as he sees the behavior, now feeling his guilt start crawling through him like a venomous snake. He didn’t even know that stick figures could have mental issues just like humans. Sure, the color gang had their moments of showing fear and trauma, but never like this.
Alan isn’t sure what he’s supposed to do now, and he just continues staring at the monitor motionlessly, his hand hovering over the computer mouse.
Seeing that Alan was not doing anything and is just observing him, makes Chosen feel like he was doing something wrong. He stands up sharply, tilting his head a bit.
That’s when Alan notices how Chosen is keeping his left leg tense behind him, almost as if something was restricting his movement, even though nothing was there. This makes Alan realize just how deep Chosen was into his trauma.
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, FUCK!
How are you supposed to calm down a stick figure that’s literally traumatized because of you? He probably can’t even bring the cursor close to Chosen without making him panic.
After a few moments of panicked thinking, he brings the cursor close to Green and TSC instead, who were watching them with worried and a little confused expressions on their faces (?).
[I think I know what’s going on with him, but I need your help|]
Green and TSC look at each other for a moment, then TSC nods, signaling Alan to continue, which he did. Typing it all took quite a few valuable moments, but Alan needed to make sure to get his point across
[I can’t bring the cursor close to him, so you need to do all the work instead while I get rid of these ads. First, get him in one of the rooms inside your Minecraft house. Be careful when you touch him. Make sure the room’s not dark and has a lot of space or he’s gonna stay in that headspace for longer. Second, try to snap him out of it, get him something else he can focus on. It can be anything that doesn’t involve using his powers. Even drawing could help. If it doesn’t help, we’ll decide what to do later. Got it, guys?|]
The two stick figures immediately nod, jokingly doing the soldier pose, while Second blurts out “yes sir!”, then run off, making Alan chuckle a little. They always managed to make him laugh, even in a situation like this.
As they start approaching Chosen, Alan turns his attention to the ads, clicking the “x” on them, being careful to not bring the cursor too close to Chosen. The ads don’t stop appearing, and Alan frowns.
He needs to check the PC for any viruses. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices TSC and Green helping Chosen walk back to their Minecraft house. Chosen looks almost confused, sometimes glancing back at Alan warily. Alan sighs, clicks on the settings icon, and activating the antivirus program he had previously installed in the PC. Fortunately, it was not the Avast antivirus program, or else they would never be able to calm Chosen down. Alan sighs again, in relief this time, as he sees that the ads stopped appearing now.
(Back with the others)
Honestly, Green was thinking that trying to bring Chosen back over to their Minecraft house would be a more difficult job because of how dazed he seemed. But, surprisingly, Chosen let Green and TSC put their hands over his shoulder to help him walk (more like dragged like a ragdoll), not even being able to walk on his own, almost like his brain was making him think that he couldn’t move on his own. Green frowns.
Cursors, Alan, what did you do to him?
Green and the others had always known that the past relationship between Alan and Chosen have been tense, but they couldn’t imagine it being so bad, to the point of actually being so traumatized!
After a few moments, they stop in front of the 5 floor Minecraft house, looking at it while deep in their thoughts, trying to decide which room would suit best for calming Chosen down. TSC’s room was kinda dark, so that’s a no, Blue’s and Red’s were too small and crowded (Blue doesn’t even have a bed! What the hell, Blue!), and Yellow’s room could potentially have something that could kill all of them, so that one is a BIG no.
Green’s room seemed like the best option. The walls were white, so there was a lot of light, and it was a pretty spacious room, cause it didn’t have much stuff in there.
As Green helpes Chosen set down on the soft bed, TSC goes back to his room to grab some paper and pencils, hoping that Alan was right, and that drawing could actually help him.
When TSC gets back, he sees Green pacing around the room, eyeing Chosen, who’s curled up in a ball on the bed, with the same dazed look on his face.
TSC lightly puts a hand on his shoulder, making TCO flinch and look up at him. A second later he looks down again.
“Hey, Chosen… whatcha doing? How are you feeling?”
TSC isn’t really expecting an answer but he still asks, in hopes that hearing someone else’s voice could help him snap out of it. Of course, Chosen doesn’t snap out of it, and continued fidgeting with his hands, as if he was aching to do something. Instead of staying silent like TSC predicted him to, Chosen actually answers, but not in the way TSC wanted him to.
“I need… need to destroy… the ads. Need to…”
It looked like he could barely form any thoughts, let alone talk. TSC and Green wince at the same time upon hearing Chosen’s voice. It was so uncharacteristic of him, to sound so fragile.
“Chosen… it’s fine, come on, you don’t need to do anything. How about we draw something?” TSC suggests, shaking the papers in front of Chosen, making sure he see them. “What do you say?”
They wait with bated breath until Chosen is able to form some coherent words. Well, more like one word, but still.
“D-raw…?” Chosen asks, the word coming out in sort of a chopped way. Despite his speech being so choppy, TSC and Green are glad that they got Chosen to actually understand what they just said.
TSC nods. Green stops pacing and approaches them.
“Yep. Draw. You like drawing right?” Green asks, in a tone that is usually used with children.
Chosen hums, his eyes trying to focus on the papers in front of him. TSC hands him a pencil, then carefully sets down a book in Chosen’s lap, and then puts the paper on it. TSC then gently takes his older brother’s hand, guiding it towards the paper.
Chosen hums again, his eyes narrowing as he looks at the paper, dragging his hand across it and making a choppy line. He tilts his head, then actually starts trying to draw something.
At first it just looks like a 3 year old’s drawing, but then the drawing starts to take a form, and Green and TSC notice the sketch of a two floor house, looking pretty detailed. They both tilt their heads. Was this where Chosen used to live before everything?
“Can I have a red pencil…?” TCO asks suddenly, snapping them both out of their thoughts. TSC raises an eyebrow. Chosen’s speech seemed more normal now.
“Chosen, you back with us?”
Chosen nods slowly.
“I… think so.”
Chosen looks back at the drawing he made, realizing that he almost drew TDL there.
“Are you okay now? Did you want a red pencil?”
“I’m fine, I don’t need the pencil anymore. I want to… talk to Alan for a moment. Can I?”
TSC and Green share a look before Green asks.
“Are you sure? You seemed pretty out of it and I have a feeling it was because of something Alan did in the past”
TCO hesitated for a moment but shakes his head, getting up.
“I need to talk to him.”
TSC and Green don’t say anything else, watching Chosen walk out, but not before saying a small “thanks” to the other two. TSC and green sigh, rolling their eyes. This guy definitely needs therapy.
The moment Chosen walks out of the weird square house, he feels his anxiety coming back to him again. Alan was still in front of the monitor, but the mouse remained untouched.
Chosen takes a few hesitant steps towards the middle of the monitor, which makes Alan notice him. Alan sits up, his hand reaching for the cursor, before he abruptly stops, not wanting to make Chosen more nervous than he already was.
Alan watches as Chosen jumps up on the painting app. Alan looks confused for a moment, wondering what Chosen wanted to do, until suddenly…
“Can we talk?”
Huh?
What, how?!
Chosen can talk too?!
Why did he never know about this?
Alan just stares at the black text in front of him, bewildered by this turn of events. But he decides not to question it right now. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts then types down a small [sure!|]
Chosen feels a small amount of relief as Alan agrees, and takes a deep breath, concentrating hard to communicate with Alan. Another text appears above him.
“I wanted to ask why did you help me?”
Alan groans the moment he sees the text. Oh Chosen...
[What do you mean, bud?|]
Chosen blinks, not sure if he was seeing this right.
…Bud?
That was a new one.
Unbeknownst to him, Chosen feels a warm feeling spread in his chest at the nickname. He grows more confident and eventually decides to ask.
“Well, it’s just that I thought you wouldn’t try helping me, considering what happened between us in the past. I honestly thought you would actually make me do it more. The ad blocking, I mean.”
Alan’s guilt is starting to eat him alive.
[Chosen, that’s in the past now. I’m not gonna make you do anything you don’t want to.|]
Alan sees Chosen thinking over his words. He can almost sense the doubt in the air- is there even air in the PC?. He decides to type out one more thing…
[I’m sorry, Chosen. I really am. If you need help or anything, you can always come to me|]
The sentence makes Chosen freeze in his place. Alan is… sorry? Chosen’s thoughts are a mess now. The only thing clear in his mind is that phrase. If Chosen didn’t hold himself back, he would burst out crying right then and there. He is really tempted to do it though. He doesn’t say anything for a long time, so Alan decides to change the topic a bit.
[Say, do you like drawing? I was actually animating something right now, so I’m wondering if you would want to join me?|]
Chosen can’t hold his tears anymore. This was something he could only dream of having. The past few weeks that he spent in the PC, he had watched TSC and Alan bonding together, wondering what could he have done to make Alan treat him just like that. And now he had the chance to fix everything.
Chosen immediately nods, as if he was afraid that Alan would take back the offer.
Alan chuckles at Chosen’s enthusiasm, and makes the screen even bigger, letting Chosen grab the small pencil tool from the corner, looking almost hyped now.
Alan continues smiling as Chosen starts sketching over some animation frames, and joins him just a second later, finally feeling like he was doing something right in his life.