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“Gege, want to get married?”
“...”
“Huh?”
Hua Cheng felt as if he could rip his remaining eye out. Perhaps he’d forge a rope this time, one strong enough to snap his useless ghostly neck.
Of all the idiotic…
Presumptuous…
Downright shameless things to ask, he’d just had to pick the worst one. He could already see it on Xie Lian’s face that he’d crossed the line. The longer the silence stretched on, the more complicated his god’s expression became. Hua Cheng was about to withdraw his arm from His Highness’ shoulder and say something even stupider to get himself out of the mess he’d so masterfully created but Xie Lian recovered first.
“Do you mean it?” His voice was strained, face vulnerable, and Hua Cheng felt his own words die in his throat.
“I do, Your Highness.” He no longer had it in him to deflect, so he answered with the solemness he truly felt. Xie Lian looked even more stunned at this admission than he had at the initial proposal.
A long stretch of silence and more complicated emotions on Xie Lian’s face that Hua Cheng couldn’t decipher followed. And then…
“But what about your beloved San Lang?”
That His Highness was even asking such a question instead of outright rejecting him filled Hua Cheng with much more hope than he'd ever thought he could contain.
It immediately turned to cold dread a second later when he realised what he must do. He'd promised His Highness that he would always be sincere with him, and if his god was to truly consider Hua Cheng's proposal, he could only do so by knowing everything .
“Your Highness, will you allow me to show you something?” Somehow, the words came out calm and composed enough despite the way the Ghost King wanted to just burst into a swarm of butterflies once again.
Though the sudden shift in topic seemed to confuse Xie Lian a little, he still answered immediately. “Of course.”
“I have to take us to Mount Tonglu for that, but I can assure gege that it will be completely safe.” The mount hadn't opened yet and Hua Cheng could feel that it was still some time until it eventually did- not much, but certainly enough to tell sordid truths from the past.
“I know it will be okay with San Lang there.” Xie Lian said with a slight, reassuring smile.
Warmth flooded Hua Cheng's dead heart at the easy trust his god had in him. Despite having spent months in Xie Lian’s company, the Ghost King doubted he would ever get used to it, even if he got to receive it for centuries to come.
He desperately hoped it would survive what he was about to reveal to His Highness.
After commanding the step-litter to stop and return to Ghost City, Hua Cheng tossed his dice and took them into the heart of the mountain, just at the entrance to a cave that had been his lair for almost a decade.
His Highness looked at him questioningly and Hua Cheng nodded, motioning for him to enter first. The Ghost King followed at a slower pace, hands held together behind his back. If they wouldn't stop slightly shaking, no one but himself had to know.
Completely ignoring his own creations, he only looked at his god, watching for any signs of disgust or discomfort.
But Xie Lian merely stared in awe, taking The Cave of Ten Thousand Gods in.
“This all…”
“They're all so beautiful.” Breathlessly his god uttered as he darted from stone to stone, gently touching different features from each statue. A moment later he stopped, as if he’d realised all the ways in which his words and behaviour could come across. “Ah, I simply meant to say that the craftsmanship of these statues is truly beyond comparison. Your skills are one of a kind San Lang.” He explained, sheepishly scratching his cheek.
The Ghost King nodded his acknowledgement, unable to say anything past the knot in his throat.
Even when confronted with the depths of Hua Cheng's obsessive devotion, his god still did not shun him, praising him instead. More warmth- an endless well that could spring eternal- pooled in the Ghost King’s chest.
Beloved, you truly are everything good in this world.
He wanted nothing more than to speak those words, yet it was still not the time- if it ever would be.
“But San Lang, when did you carve all of these statues? There's so many of them that it must've taken you a long time.” Much longer than the months we’ve known each other - the implication was clear but unspoken.
“It took me nearly ten years, gege.”
He trusted his god to put together the pieces.
“You mean to say…”
“I carved them all while undergoing the trials of this place.”
When his god silently stared at him, wide-eyed and obviously expecting him to say more, Hua Cheng only paused for one moment to engrave the image of His Highness among the creations that barely did him any justice in his heart.
“Your Highness asked me, after we dealt with the green trash, if we'd ever met before.” He tilted his head towards the wall at the back. “The answer lies in the mural painted on those walls.”
The Ghost King made no move towards them.
Hua Cheng had already taken his god to the cave. As cowardly as it was of him, he didn't have it in himself to pull down that silk veil, so he just nodded at His Highness once the god had reached the wall and grabbed the fabric covering it. The Ghost King willed it so it would easily come off- at least parts of it.
Xie Lian didn’t seem to mind the scraps left covering part of the painting as he was much too engrossed in the first scene that caught his eyes- the God-pleasing Festival. For the following undetermined amount of time, Hua Cheng simply waited in silence as his god took in the depictions of their shared past- the child who fell but didn’t die, an old shrine, a battlefield with soldiers at the ready, a cave full of yao beasts… And among all of them, two figures. One white, radiating and graceful. One red, disfigured and small.
Hua Cheng wondered if it was perhaps foolish of him to think that his god may remember him after so long, but hope in itself was often foolish in nature. He was startled out of his thoughts by two hands grabbing his face and pulling it down.
When had His Highness even crossed the cave back to him?
“Hong’er.” His god was looking at him wide-eyed, recognition and something else painted all over his features. Even that cursed name sounded so sweet coming from Xie Lian, especially when spoken with such wonder- as if Hua Cheng’s existence was something worthwhile and mesmerising.
“Gege still remembers me?” The Ghost King couldn’t keep his own sense of wonder out of his voice.
“I do! I- my memory may not be the best after such a long time, but San Lang’s paintings helped me gather the missing pieces. Besides, you were an adorable child.”
Hua Cheng tried very hard to ignore the way his god’s fond smile made him want to melt into a puddle at his feet.
“Gege, I was a menace.” He pointed out instead. After all, he had bitten and kicked anyone who wasn’t His Highness. Not that they didn’t deserve it.
“You were just a child going through a lot.” His Higness seemed ready to stubbornly defend little Hong’er’s honour so all that Hua Cheng could do was chuckle and acquiesce.
“Very well, if gege says so then it must be so.”
After that, they fell silent once again, but it was not uncomfortable. The Ghost King was content to let his god unabashedly stare at him, almost as if trying to convince himself that Hua Cheng was truly real and in front of him.
“We really met all those times…” Eventually Xie Lian spoke softly, still in disbelief.
“We did.” Hua Cheng couldn’t help it anymore- he placed his own hands above his god’s, wanting to remain in his hold for as long as possible.
That drew Xie Lian’s attention to Hua Cheng’s hands, particularly his right, where a red string had been tied around his middle finger since forever ago.
“That strand of hair… at Beizi Hill.” Another memory seemed to surface in His Highness’ mind.
“Yes.” Hua Cheng leaned right into their overlapped palms, much like a cat seeking attention.
And then something else dawned on Xie Lian’s face- embarrassment. He immediately turned red with it and would’ve likely drawn back had it not been for Hua Cheng holding him.
“Ah…” Suddenly, he was unable to meet the Ghost King’s eye. “San Lang had to see me like that.”
Any other time, he might’ve teased his god about it, Xie Lian flushed so prettily after all… But in that moment Hua Cheng knew that he should be serious.
“All I saw was my god who still tried to protect me in spite of everything he himself was going through.” He spoke gently, reverently.
“But in the end you still had to fight those yao off instead.” Xie Lian sounded sad, almost remorseful.
The Ghost King couldn’t have that. He softly pried His Highness’ hands off of his face, holding them between their bodies instead and giving a gentle squeeze. That seemed to finally get Xie Lian to look at him, the flush on his face mostly gone.
“It was my honour to serve His Highness.” Even if it was the last time Hua Cheng would see his god while he was still alive. He smiled at Xie Lian, and even though his god still looked somewhat troubled, Hua Cheng could feel some of the tension in him fade.
But then his brow furrowed once more.
“I told Mu Qing to promote you after that, but I never saw you again. What happened to you?”
That knocked Hua Cheng off-balance- not physically but- His Highness had actually spoken in his favour back then?
“Gege wanted me to advance in the army?” He asked incredulously.
“Of course. You showed great promise.”
Ah.
Hua Cheng had always known that the sweeping general kicked him out because the man had seen the way he looked at His Highness, petty jealousy aside, but it still soothed something inside him to hear his god say that he had wanted Hua Cheng by his side.
“San Lang?”
Right, Xie Lian had asked him a question.
“It’s just that Your Highness’ servant saw it fit to kick me out instead.” He spat the words with barely contained vitriol. There was a sudden itch beneath his skin, one that urged him to go and burn some temples.
“I never knew-” His Highness started, looking sad once again.
“It’s alright gege. It was a long time ago.” It clearly wasn’t, but both knew that there was nothing more that could be said or done about it at this point.
Hua Cheng took a deep breath that he had no need for, still holding on to Xie Lian’s hands, and tried to put his confident front back on.
“Now that gege knows who this San Lang is, what does he think about my question earlier today?”
That seemed to snap Xie Lian out of whatever thoughts had taken over his mind, the reminder of why they’d even come to their current location bringing back a slight flush to his cheeks.
It was adorable. Hua Cheng could almost taste the hope on the tip of his tongue… At least until His Highness' mien turned complicated again.
The warmth in Hua Cheng’s chest died with that expression. Of course, he’d never been so presumptuous as to think that his god would have him in this way, though he’d always intended to at least try to court him, but he had underestimated how unprepared he was to be rejec-
“Before I give you an answer, San Lang, it is only fair that I also tell you some things about my past.”
Xie Lian looked very conflicted, almost ashamed.
Hua Cheng had never felt more relieved because he was willing to bet the very ashes around his beloved’s neck that he knew what the god was about to tell him. He waited patiently for Xie Lian to find the words
“You see… After Xianle had just fallen and my parents passed I…There were things that I did that I'm not proud of, horrible things. In fact, I almost- I…”
Seeing his beloved so clearly distraught, the Ghost King spoke instead.
“Your Highness almost became White Clothed Calamity.” He stated matter-of-factly, unable to contain a fond smile when Xie Lian started to sputter.
“H-how do you know?”
Hua Cheng took a step back, kneeling before his god as he had lifetimes ago. He gently touched one of Xie Lian’s hands to his forehead, letting go of the other and looked up into wide golden eyes.
“Wu Ming?...” Xie Lian croaked.
“En.”
“But you… You were dispersed in front of me.”
“I had to come back. So long as my beloved still walks this earth, I pray to never rest-”
Before he had the chance to properly finish his vow, there was a familiar weight falling into Hua Cheng’s arms, as his beloved hugged and held onto him tightly. The Ghost King hugged back, cradling Xie Lian’s head when it found its way into the crook of his neck.
“Is that what made gege look so conflicted earlier?” Hua Cheng asked much later, once he felt Xie Lian relax into their embrace, no longer clinging to him as if he might disappear at any moment.
“I just thought San Lang should know that I am not as great as he thinks I am.”
Now that was just utterly false.
Hua Cheng gently moved their bodies apart so that he could look into his god’s eyes as he spoke. Though Xie Lian seemed reluctant to let go at first, he gave in rather quickly. The ghost smiled, centuries of love behind it.
“Your Highness, I have watched over you, seen your everything, and it has only ever strengthened my devotion. What matters is you, not the state of you. If you would allow it, I’d never leave your side again until the end of time.”
Xie Lian was only left speechless for a moment before he surged forward, crashing his mouth into Hua Cheng’s. The Ghost King accepted the onslaught gladly, taking the lead and deepening the kiss the first opportunity he got. Only when Xie Lian had run out of breath, did the god finally draw back.
“Yes… Yes!” Hua Cheng could feel the words against his lips- nothing had ever felt better in his life.
Once again, Xie Lian embraced Hua Cheng tightly.
“Please stay. Nothing would make me happier.”