Chapter Text
April 2019, Home Era
Seungcheol was well aware that a series of concerts during their Japan tour could potentially aggravate one of his recurring health issues. For several years, a persistent pain in his right knee had surfaced at the most inopportune moments, and this time was no different.
During the concert, he tried to endure the intense pain radiating from his knee up to his back. Every movement became a torment, but he pushed through to perform the choreography for "Crazy in Love" despite its physical demands. At one point, he nearly fell, but Mingyu skillfully caught him, making it look like nothing had happened. Nevertheless, Seungcheol continued to give his all, as always, determined not to let the pain defeat him.
He gritted his teeth through the middle of the concert, trying not to falter, determined to stay on his feet no matter what. "A leader must never give up." he kept repeating to himself. But when the members took a moment to address the audience, the pain became unbearable, forcing him to limp off the stage to seek help from the ever-present backstage doctor.
Once backstage, he immediately sat down on a chair brought to him, breathing heavily, his head thrown back. An assistant fanned him while the doctor quickly massaged his leg and knee, trying to alleviate the pain.
"Seungcheol, stop the concert; you're in no condition to continue." the manager ordered, his firm tone betraying his concern for the young man's health.
"No! I'm not letting this damn knee stop me. The Carats paid to see all 13 of us. I can make it to the end." Seungcheol replied, determination burning in his eyes.
The atmosphere backstage was tense. The other members, worried, glanced at their leader. The noise of the crowd and the bright stage lights seemed distant now, replaced by the urgency of the moment. Seungcheol was known for his tenacity, but this time, the pain was evident on his face.
"Cheol, listen to him, your health comes first." murmured Jeonghan, approaching him, his voice gently insistent.
Seungcheol closed his eyes for a moment, weighing the pros and cons. The pain pulsed with every heartbeat, but his mind remained focused on the audience and his members. He reopened his eyes, his determination intact.
"I'm going to finish this concert." he declared with unwavering resolve.
The manager exchanged a look with the doctor, visibly torn between reason and respect for Seungcheol's will. Finally, he nodded reluctantly.
"Alright, but we'll monitor it closely. At the first sign of weakness, you're out."
Seungcheol nodded, mentally preparing himself to face the pain for the rest of the concert. He got up slowly, leaning on Jeonghan, ready to return to the stage where the Carats were waiting for him.
"Seungcheol—" The manager was about to speak, but the leader had already stood up, determined to rejoin the other members on stage to continue the performance. He returned with a smile, though the pain was evident in his eyes. Joshua gave him a questioning look, worried. Seungcheol reassured him with a wave before greeting a few fans who were calling out to him, a tight smile on his lips.
The dazzling lights and the fans' cheers filled the arena, creating an electric atmosphere. The beats of the music resonated through the floor, vibrating in the bodies of everyone present. Each movement on stage was synchronized with the bursts of light, creating a mesmerizing spectacle.
The music resumed, but the pain did not subside. It showed on Seungcheol's face, though he tried to hide it whenever a member looked his way, especially Jeonghan and Joshua. Jeonghan, always attuned to his teammates' health, would quickly panic whenever one of them was injured or ill. It was no surprise that he had cried when Wonwoo was sick for several months, even shedding tears while visiting him in the hospital. Joshua, on the other hand, was more discreet but no less concerned.
As the choreography for "Getting Closer" began, Seungcheol tried to keep up. The stage was a whirlwind of synchronized movements, with each member giving their all. Sweat beaded on their foreheads, glistening under the bright lights. Everything seemed to be going relatively well, but towards the end of the song, the intense effort Seungcheol had been maintaining became unbearable. His leg suddenly locked up, and he collapsed forward, hitting the floor with a thud.
The sound of the speakers echoed in his head, amplifying the rapid pounding of his heart. Waves of pain radiated from his knee up to his back, leaving him gasping. The fans, witnessing his fall, began screaming in concern, their cries piercing the air. The lights focused on him, exposing his vulnerability to thousands of pairs of eyes.
Not all the members had him in their line of sight, so they didn’t immediately realize he had fallen. Dino noticed and tried to help the leader up while still keeping to the choreography, but Seungcheol groaned in pain as he attempted to get up.
The song ended a few seconds later, allowing the other members to notice their leader on the ground. At first, they all laughed, seeing one of their own down, as good friends might lightly tease each other. However, Chan's worried expression quickly made them change their attitudes.
"I'm fine, I just mispositioned my leg during the choreo." Seungcheol tried to reassure them, still on the ground, holding his knee. He didn't want to worry the audience and felt he needed to remain professional.
The manager signaled Soonyoung to escort the leader off the stage as the situation had become too concerning; he was at serious risk of injury. A few members gathered around Seungcheol, trying to help him, while others distracted the audience with smiles and jokes to downplay the incident.
"Seungcheol..." Jeonghan knelt beside him, not knowing what to say. Seeing his friend in this state filled him with deep worry. Before Seungcheol could respond, a hand rested on his back.
"Hyung, we need to get you off stage. Lean on me." Soonyoung urged, determined. The leader, somewhat dazed, couldn't refuse this time. His leg was completely immobilized by pain, making any movement impossible. He tried to put weight on his foot, but Joshua yelled at him, stopping him from doing so.
The American positioned himself on the other side to help Soonyoung support Seungcheol, and together, they quickly guided him out of the spotlight, away from the worried gazes of the audience and the members still on stage.
Seungcheol felt like throwing everything away, berating himself mentally the entire time. He was handed over to the manager but grabbed Joshua's hand to whisper something in his ear.
"I'm probably going to the hospital. Reassure Jeonghan, tell him it's nothing serious." Joshua nodded, blushing slightly as the leader discreetly kissed his cheek before being taken to the resting room.
Joshua returned to the stage, walking backward and biting his lip as he saw Jeonghan's expression, who seemed ready to pounce on him for answers.
The members tried to resume the concert, while Jeonghan focused all his attention on Joshua, who returned with an anxious look. He immediately moved to speak to the American, who smiled in an attempt to avoid worrying the fans watching them.
"Josh, how's Cheol? What happened to him? Tell me he's okay." Jeonghan asked hurriedly, removing Joshua's earpiece to hear him better, causing a few fans to scream for this moment of fan service.
"Jeonghan, not now. We'll handle this after the concert, okay?" Joshua responded firmly. The less he said, the better they could focus on finishing the concert. Jeonghan didn't have time to continue his questioning as the show resumed.
His mind was entirely with Seungcheol, not on stage. As soon as the concert ended and the "curtain closed." he rushed backstage, asking everyone he passed for news about Seungcheol.
He burst into their resting room, his eyes scanning every corner for one of their managers. He spotted one on the phone, his face both concerned and stern. Joshua also rushed into the room, having run after Jeonghan following his hasty exit from the stage, struggling to catch up to him.
Jeonghan didn't hesitate to interrupt the manager's call.
"Hyung, where's Cheol?" Jeonghan asked, grabbing the manager's arm with palpable urgency. The manager, surprised to see him already there just as the concert had ended, turned slightly to quickly finish his call. Joshua, right behind Jeonghan, breathless but determined, waited anxiously for the response.
"Jeonghan, I was on the phone." the manager scolded without insisting, faced with the angel's impatient and stern look. Jeonghan crossed his arms, waiting for an immediate answer.
The manager sighed before addressing the two eldest members of Seventeen. "I'll tell you, but I want everyone to be here. It will be simpler that way."
Jeonghan frowned, exchanged a glance with Joshua, then left the room within two seconds. The American looked at him strangely before giving the manager a questioning look, puzzled by the angel's hasty exit.
Jeonghan didn't go far, as they heard him shouting down the hallway at the other members. "Guys! Move your asses and get to the room, hurry up!"
He then re-entered the room, self-assured, as all the members hurried to his call. "Alright, everyone sit down now." he ordered the Seventeen members, who didn't hesitate to obey. Then he looked at the manager, signaling him to finally reveal what he had to say.
The manager cleared his throat before approaching the group. Mingyu elbowed Seungkwan to keep him quiet. Seungkwan, annoyed, was about to retort, but Vernon stopped him, redirecting his attention to the manager.
"Okay, so Seungcheol has been admitted to the hospital. He will need to undergo emergency surgery for his knee problem..." he announced, letting his words resonate in the room. Everyone's eyes widened, shocked by the severity of the situation.
"You understand that he'll probably need several days, if not weeks, of recovery." This statement cast a heavy silence over the room. Up until now, the leader had always been there to keep order, but the thought of several days without him worried everyone about the group's cohesion.
"We don't know much more at the moment. The Hip-hop team's manager is at the hospital with him. For now, I'll take you back to the dorms until we have more news."
"Wait, I want to go see him at the hospital." Jeonghan pleaded, with Joshua by his side, also expressing his desire to go.
"Jeonghan, later, okay? He's in the operating room anyway." the manager responded, trying to calm him. Jeonghan's face fell, and he lowered his head as Seokmin gently stroked his hair in a comforting gesture.
•••
As they were in Japan, they all went back to their hotel. It felt strange to return without Seungcheol, knowing he was in the hospital. The members quickly scattered to their rooms, each trying to process the events in their own way. Joshua went in search of Jeonghan, who had disappeared from view without even taking the time to eat before retreating to his room.
He knocked on his boyfriend's door but received no answer. Used to this situation, Joshua entered anyway. The room was slightly dim, illuminated only by the faint glow of Jeonghan's phone.
"Hey baby." Joshua said softly upon seeing Jeonghan lying on his bed, looking tired, his eyes fixed on his phone.
Jeonghan barely lifted his eyes, his face marked by exhaustion. Joshua approached slowly, as if to not break the fragile silence of the room. He sat on the edge of the bed, and Jeonghan automatically moved over to make space for him.
Joshua reached out and began to stroke Jeonghan's hair with gentle, regular motions. The blonde sighed slightly, appreciating the contact. His eyes closed halfway, finding some comfort in Joshua's proximity.
"Do you want to eat something? Mingyu ordered ramen," Joshua murmured, continuing his caresses.
"No... I'm not hungry." Jeonghan replied weakly, without looking away from his phone. The fatigue from the concert was visible on his face, and Joshua could sense the weight of worries on his shoulders.
"Han, you need to sleep; you're half-asleep." Joshua advised, his voice full of softness. He slid his hand over Jeonghan's cheek, caressing it affectionately.
"I can’t sleep knowing he's not well and is so far from us." Jeonghan admitted sadly, gently caressing Joshua's hand on his cheek. This simple gesture of affection lifted his spirits a little.
"Han..." Joshua began.
"Am I the only one worried about him?" Jeonghan's voice trembled slightly, tinged with despair. His words sounded like a reproach, though they were motivated by worry.
Joshua squeezed Jeonghan's hand in his, their fingers interlocking. "No, you're not the only one. We are all worried about him." he reassured him gently.
Joshua nudged him slightly to lie down beside him. "Aren’t you going to eat?" Jeonghan asked in a small voice, his eyes searching Joshua’s face now so close.
"No, I’m going to stay with you. I'm tired too."
Jeonghan felt comforted by these words. He watched Joshua open his arms, offering a refuge. Without hesitation, Jeonghan cuddled against him, resting his head on Joshua’s chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart, a soothing rhythm that eased his anxieties. Joshua slid his fingers into Jeonghan’s silky hair, stroking it with infinite tenderness. He then leaned down to place a delicate kiss on his forehead.
Jeonghan sighed in contentment, closing his eyes. The warmth of Joshua's body against his, the softness of his caresses, and the steady beat of his heart created a cocoon of tranquility around him. The two young men remained like this, in silence, savoring each other's reassuring presence. Fatigue eventually overwhelmed them, their breathing synchronizing as they drifted into a deep sleep.
Yet, even in this moment of peace, their thoughts couldn't help but wander to Seungcheol.
In the middle of the night, Joshua woke up when his phone vibrated several times on the nightstand. He tried to turn it off quickly so as not to wake Jeonghan, who was peacefully sleeping in his arms. However, Jeonghan immediately opened his eyes, ever alert to the slightest sign of distress.
The light from the phone dazzled Joshua, still half-asleep, which made Jeonghan groan, disturbed by the sudden brightness.
"It's the manager." Joshua murmured in a deep, sleepy voice. "He says Seungcheol has just finished his first surgery. It went well."
"His first ?" Jeonghan asked, resting his cheek against Joshua's chest. Joshua looked down at him, trying to make out his features in the dark.
"Yes..." Joshua replied before putting his phone down, preparing to go back to sleep. It was 4 am. and it seemed logical to try to get some rest. But despite his efforts, Jeonghan kept moving, unable to settle.
After an hour of restlessness, Joshua, almost falling back asleep, gently grabbed Jeonghan to hold him in a firmer embrace.
"Stop moving." Joshua grumbled, squeezing Jeonghan a bit tighter.
"I can’t sleep; I want to see him." Jeonghan said, frustrated, well aware that visiting hours were impossible at that time.
"Me too, but we can’t." Joshua finally loosened his embrace when Jeonghan stopped moving so much. However, the blanket lifted slightly, revealing that Jeonghan was getting out of bed. Joshua opened one eye, watching the silhouette of the blonde in the room, getting dressed. He turned on the small bedside lamp to see better and sat up in bed.
"I'm going to get some fresh air. I'll get something to eat at a nearby convenience store." Jeonghan announced. Joshua didn’t try to stop him, understanding that it might help him relax.
"Do you want to come ?" Jeonghan asked while putting on sweatpants.
"No, sleep." Joshua quickly replied, yawning. Jeonghan laughed at his half-asleep boyfriend in the middle of a conversation. He moved closer to give him a gentle kiss. In the kiss, Joshua tried to make him change his mind and stay in bed, but Jeonghan gently pushed him away, amused.
"See you later." the blonde said in English with a pronounced Korean accent, just inches from Joshua's lips.
"See you later." Joshua murmured before letting himself fall back into bed and closing his eyes, ready to drift back to sleep.