Chapter Text
“Do you ever think about marriage?”
The question cut through the quiet, calm atmosphere in the café like a knife through butter, leaving Tweek in a still, contemplative mindset. Truthfully, he had thought about marriage many times throughout the years he’d spent together with Craig. He’d be a fool to have not fantasized about it... When he was still in elementary school he would think about the domestic bliss of sharing a small apartment or home, seamlessly intertwining their lives, picking fights over the decor and how to organise their belongings, dedicating an entire room for their guinea pigs, or even fostering cats if Craig needed to pick up a hobby, and their nebulous, well-paying future adult jobs.
Of course, younger Tweek wasn’t unaware that his dreams were lofty and they’d likely have to settle for a crappy, cramped apartment, but truthfully, he’d be more than happy to live with Craig, no matter their circumstances, so long as he knew he was coming home to the arms of the man he loves. He’s been lucky so far that they’ve been able to structure their lives together as well as two twenty-somethings can. They do share a crappy apartment with paper-thin walls, little-to-no parking, and water that turns their shower orange due to its high iron levels… but he’s never been happier.
Deciding to answer truthfully, Tweek gives Tolkien a slight grimace and a nod. “Mmghn - yeah.” Better to keep his answer simple to avoid spilling all his embarrassing, sappy thoughts about Craig that he keeps locked up tight, only to be released when he is alone in his room, doomed to be Craig-less for the night when their respective families want to spend time with their sons.
Tolkien gives him a long, studying look before apparently deciding that he would trust Tweek with new information. “That’s good. I know Craig wants it too, but…” Briefly, hesitation flicks over Tolkien’s face, as if he’s debating whether he should share this information with Tweek before he sets his jaw determinately. “He doesn’t want to pressure you.”
… What?
”What?” This was new information to Tweek. His boyfriend always seemed to enjoy big, romantic gestures, so why not add a proposal into the mix? “Why the hell -ghh - would he think he’d be pressuring me to marry him? Where did he get — ugh - get such a stupid idea?!” Tweek spluttered. Oh God, did he really think that Tweek was so incapable of anything that even marriage would be off the table?
“Well…” Tolkien pulls a face and fidgets with his latte. He sounds kind of like he’s trying to diffuse a bomb and that tone just pisses Tweek off. He was the one who started this conversation, for Christ’s sake! How the hell was he going to justify pussying out now?
… However, if Tolkien’s willing to give Tweek more information, he better abstain from judgment for now. He can always freak out and scream at his friend later. He takes a deep breath and waits for Tolkien to continue. “You weren’t always super gung-ho on the idea,” he reminds him. “Especially when Craig apparently brought it up to you in middle school.”
Oh.
Oh God. Tolkien knew about that?
Middle school Tweek was, in fact, even more of a nervous wreck than usual - especially when it came to thinking of the future and all the big decisions he was told that he would have to imminently make. He cringes thinking back on it, but he can see where Tolkien is coming from… especially if Craig chose to confide in him. Because, as a matter of fact, Tweek had freaked out on Craig when he had brought up the idea in the first place.
“What?!” Tweek had exclaimed, hands flying up to his scalp and tugging at the roots of his hair. “I can’t marry you, man! That’s- that’s—“
”Tweek,” the monotone voice cut him off, placing a hand on his arm and applying slight pressure to encourage him to release his hair. “Not right now. When we’re older.”
”No, man! It’s — nggh — the people and - pressure! And - and - so much money and - aghhrhr — I know your parents can’t help us afford anything but weddings are so — they’re so expensive and there’s no way in hell I’d let my parents help out because they’re fuckin’ freaks and — the shop. Oh God, the specials they’d try to create — and I don’t — agh — want anyone from this town to know because then we’d be tied to it forever and — and-“
The hand on his arm slowly releases as he continues to ramble disjointedly. Tweek can see… something in the other boy’s eyes as he returns to his personal space and sets his jaw, but he’s not exactly sure what.
“Yeah. Okay, babe.” His voice sounded a bit off. “We don’t have to get married.”
”Yeah —“That cut through Tweek’s racing thoughts. “Yeah, okay. God, man… Not that I don’t wanna be with you! I just — it’s just too-“
”Too much. I get it.” Craig gave him a tight half-smile before quickly pulling out his phone and making a show of looking at his screen. “Oh. I have to get going home, Tweek. Mamá just sent a text. I’ll see you later.” Then, without as much as a parting kiss on the cheek, Craig walked out of his room, leaving Tweek at an interrupted beginning of a spiral and an odd feeling in his chest.
The following few days, Craig had seemed a bit down, but he had vehemently avoided any of Tweek’s offers to talk about it. Tweek, being an emotionally stunted teenager himself, hadn’t pressed the issue, trusting that Craig would come to him if it was that big of a deal.
Still. How Weird.
“Oh God,” Tweek said, horror colouring his voice as the implications of his past interactions dawned on him. ”Oh God, he thinks I don’t want to marry him.”
”Well, according to him, that’s because you told him you didn’t want to. Not exactly a hard conclusion to draw.” Tolkien pointed out, voice carefully clear of any accusatory tones.
“But — that was -“ Tweek spluttered, gesturing wildly with his hands “Years! Years and years ago! God — I was, like, thirteen, man! Of course, I didn’t know I wanted to marry him then! And - and what if we broke up?! Not — not that I would ever want to but -“ A pitchy half-screech escaped his throat. “Shit! Why wouldn’t he revisit the topic?!” Tweek halfheartedly defended himself, his heart feeling a bit heavy and his mind reeling. Did he seriously screw up his own future because he didn’t want to think about such a big commitment at thirteen? Did Craig seriously not see any merit in discussing it again? Did he not think that Tweek could change his mind?
Tolkien levels Tweek with a half-amused, half-pitying look. The expression makes Tweek squirm where he sits and fidget with his shirt - yeah, of course, he logically knew why Craig drew the conclusions he did, but that didn’t mean he needed to like it - or even hear it! But, of course, Tolkien wasn’t going to give him the luxury of keeping his pride intact.
“Dude, you know that you have Craig wrapped around your finger. He practically bends to your every whim. He was pretty sure the whole marriage thing was a serious boundary and he wasn’t going to put pressure on you to change our mind. He’d feel like crap if he felt like you changed your mind ‘cause of him.” He let his head tip back and shrugged. “I won’t bullshit you, even though myself and the other guys have tried to convince him to revisit the topic with you he’s not budging. He’s sure it’s already set in stone.” Tolkien levels Tweek with a serious stare.
“I hate to tell you this, but the ball is entirely in your court. If you wanna marry him, that’s up to you.”
Oh God, oh Jesus see him through this.
“But — But I —“
“Tweek.”
Tweek shut up and looked to his friend, only mildly freaking out. Tolkien shot him a small smile.
“Talk to him, surprise him, whatever you want… but just know that this probably isn’t as big of a deal as you think it is. Even though he wants to marry you, and trust me - he does, he’s happy to go at your pace, even if you’re never ready to take that next step…. But don’t let that hold you guys back from being happy.”
“Mmmmhgnhn” Tweek groans out miserably, twisting his hands deeper into the fabric of his shirt and scrunching up his face as he considers the facts.
Craig had always talked about their futures as if it was a foregone conclusion that they’d be together, when he was younger he’d constantly bring up the fact that he was excited for them to share a last name, sometimes he’d look intently at the rings adorning both of their parent’s fingers with an undeniable interest in his eyes - an expression that many people would miss, but not Tweek. Never Tweek. He was the best at reading his boyfriend, after all…
… or at least he thought he was.
How could he not have noticed that Craig’s talk of marriage and seeming interest in the topic had dwindled after their conversation? Why did it take someone literally spelling it out for him to see that Craig had wanted to marry him and Tweek had almost irrevocably fucked it up, even if it was because of a conversation they’d had way back in Middle school? Oh, Jesus…
“… Thank you, Tolkien,” Tweek said softly, detangling his hands from his shirt and meeting his friend’s eyes. “You’ve given me a lot to think about. But…” He hesitates. “Can you not tell Craig about this…?”
Tolkien takes a long sip of his drink, eyeing him knowingly before smiling genuinely at him. “Sure thing. But you’re gonna spot me next time as payment… And make me your best man.” His eyes were alight with amusement. “When am I gonna see a ring on that rude bastard’s finger?”
Tweek snorts and grins back at Tolkien. “Soon, hopefully. And — augh — sure, man. If he says yes you can be my best man.”
”When he says yes.” Tolkien retorts before standing up and clapping his hand briefly on Tweek’s shoulder. “Romance the hell out of him, Tweek. He’ll love it. Good luck.” With that, the other man leaves the café, leaving Tweek alone at their table.
Tweek had a lot to think about. Did he want to spend the rest of his life with Craig? Yes, of course! At this point, they’d been together for well over a decade - Tweek genuinely couldn’t imagine his life without the other man… but did he feel secure enough in their relationship to warrant marriage? Would being married change much about their relationship? Was it more for show? Was it because that’s what everybody expected of them?
Craig wanted this… but did Tweek want it?
… Maybe he did. Maybe he could become Tweek Tucker… Tweek Tucker-Tweak… Maybe they didn’t have to have a big ceremony.
Maybe their union could be all about what they wanted.
Oh Jesus, was Tweek really considering this? Oh God, man. This was… this was so much pressure.
But.
But Craig was worth the pressure, he was worth putting in the effort, and imagining the shock that would melt away into excitement and finally pure love that would grace Craig’s face when Tweek took him by surprise and proposed was almost intoxicating.
Oh, God. He was going to do this, wasn’t he? He was going to surprise Craig with a proposal.
It was a well-known fact that Tweek Tweak did not like surprises. He didn’t like the suspense, he didn’t like the guessing - his mind always supplying the worst possible outcomes - and he sure as hell didn’t like the reveal. Even from his long-term boyfriend, he would barely tolerate receiving a surprise.
Tweek would quickly learn that he almost hated planning a surprise more... Because how do you surprise the most boring man on the planet?
Especially for something this important.