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"baba! Buy me North Korea!"

Summary:

On the news you could see a very smiling Dick Grayson, standing on a podium and giving his speech. Meanwhile, at Wayne Manor, everyone was staring at Dick with wide eyes.

“Can you explain this to me?” Bruce said, still in disbelief.

Dick, completely indifferent, responded simply and calmly.

“I bought a country from Damián.” Dick shrugged as if he was a damn obvious. 

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

On the news you could see a very smiling Dick Grayson, standing on a podium and giving his speech. Meanwhile, at Wayne Manor, everyone was staring at Dick with wide eyes. 

“Can you explain this to me?” Bruce said, still in disbelief. 

Dick, completely indifferent, responded simply and calmly. 

“I bought a country from Damián.” Dick shrugged as if he was a damn obvious. 

Damian, who was sitting comfortably on Dick's lap, only settles further into his chest. Someone laughed in disbelief. 

Dick stood up naturally and took Damian with him silently. 

The family stayed behind watching in silence as Dick left. 

 


 

“Can you explain to me where the hell you got that money from?” Donna said during the League meeting at the Watchtower. She was leaning on the table in front of Dick looking at her twin in disbelief. 

Dick had Damian under the armpits, Damian's body was relaxed and hanging in that hold. He looked as cute as a cat. 

Dick shrugged. 

“With a damn Dick.” Roy shouted, quickly approaching Dick. “You prostitute yourself as a teenager to pay for a damn apartment and now you buy a damn country for a child?” Roy said in disbelief. 

Dick just clicked his tongue, not noticing the surprised look everyone gave him. 

“I can give you any information you need if you want to buy one for Liam.” Dick said with a smile. 

Roy paused considering his words. Donna crossed her arms looking at Roy with a warning in her eyes. Finally, Roy relented and crouched down in front of Dick. 

“Oh, powerful master of exemplary parents, do you think you can give me the information to finance a kingdom for my princess?” Roy asked in a dramatic voice, kneeling down on one knee in front of Dick. 

Dick closed his eyes and nodded slowly. 

“Of course, oh great lord of exemplary parents.” Dick responded in a deep, dramatic voice. 

“Roy!” Donna scolded him. 

Stealthily, Wally asked Dick for the information as well, only to stare in disbelief at his best friend as he revealed the price. 

 



"Hello?". Dick asked with a raised eyebrow. 

He was at the police station, where they were interrogating him for buying a country. His colleagues took a well-deserved pause to let him speak. 

“I see that you have found a place for my prince to reign.” The sugary voice on the other end made his hair stand on end. 

“Talia.” Dick said tiredly. 

“Believe it or not, I didn't call to fight. In fact, I called to congratulate him. “My beloved has denied this to Damián for years.” “Talia,” she said pitifully. 

“Are you kidding, Talia?” Dick complained, earning a confused look from the other agents. “How did that evil man deprive my baby of something like that?” Dick shouted indignantly and with a tight heart. 

“I know, my Damian deserves the world.”

"Indeed". 

There was a total pause of a good three minutes. 

"Well…". Talia began. 

“If you ask me, I know where to start.” Dick said quickly. 

Talia sighed in relief. 

“I couldn't expect anything less from you, Richard.” She said in a raised and genuinely grateful tone. 

“Everything is for Damián.” Dick said seriously. 

 


 

“Dick?” Bruce looked silently at his firstborn, who continued to pick up Damian like a cat. 

"Yeah?". Dick asked in a soft, happy voice that he always used when he was around Damian. 

“Do you have any idea why Damian's legal name is “Damian Grayson-Wayne?” Bruce asked. 

Dick cocked his head innocently and frowned in mock confusion. Mentally, he thanked Talía. 

“What is a legal name?”

 


 

“Why the hell is there a damn plan on how to conquer the world on the Batcomputer!?” Jason shouted in alarm, drawing everyone's attention. 

“Oh.” Dick said with a smile. “It's just in case Damián wants it.” He said happily. 

"No, thanks. Managing a country is already too much for me. But I appreciate the effort, baba.” Damian said with his typical childlike seriousness. 

 


 

“Dick, I'll ask you one more time, where did you get that money?” Donna asked slowly, separating each word as if she were asking a child. 

"Do you remember when I was Robin and we were facing Slade I disappeared for a few months and became a mercenary?" Dick asked in a calm voice. He used the same tone as Donna. 

"Yeah?". Donna said doubtfully. 

“Well, use that money.” Dick responded simply. 

 



“Hello, Little Bird.” Slade silently entered through the window of Dick's apartment. 

Dick looked at him with a raised eyebrow from his position leaning against the counter, wearing only a pair of boxers. 

“Hey, Slade.” Dick said with a sigh. 

“Do you remember the untraceable account I opened in your name when you were about fifteen?” Slade asked as he inched closer to Dick. 

“Mmh, that one where I deposited the money from our jobs?” Dick asked innocently. 

Slade hummed. 

“Mmmh, I don't remember.” Dick said like the personification of innocence that he is. 

Slade corners him against the counter. Dick just carefully hugged Slade's neck and tilted his head slightly to expose his throat. 

“What's wrong with that account that I don't remember?” Dick asked mischievously. 

Slade held her hips tightly. 

“Well, there was a withdrawal of many millions.” Slade said grumpily. 

Dick lifted one leg over Slade's hip. 

“And what about that?” He asked batting her eyelashes. 

Slade looked at him silently. 

"Did you know? Nothing". She growled as she leaned down to seal their lips. 

 



Bruce entered the dining room with moans and snorts. He had a newspaper in his hand, which he slammed onto the table in front of Dick. Dick raised an eyebrow at Bruce's growing anger. 

"Read!". Bruce shouted, pointing to the front page of the newspaper. 

“Has Dick Grayson-Wayen legally adopted his younger brother? Does the old man who dates Dick Grayson-Wayne have anything to do with this?” Jason read aloud. 

The Batkids burst out laughing. Some slumped against the table, others hit the table with their fists. Others simply smiled in disbelief. 

“Oh, that. Slade paid a visit and you know what old people are like when you use their money.” Dick said in a calm and soft voice. 

Bruce frowned deeper. 

“I have no idea what old people are like when you use their money.”

“Come on, B, old men want sex.” Dick said nonchalantly. 

Steph fell out of her chair, still laughing. Bruce pursed his lips, grabbed the newspaper, and walked out again. 

 



“It's strange that you're the one calling.” Talia said wearily. 

“I know, but I needed to tell you that we have to cancel the ‘Damián wants the world’ plan.” Dick said quickly. 

Talia clicked her tongue. 

"Good. But you will be the one to explain it to my men.”

 


 

"Slime". Damian said lying on Dick's chest. 

“Yes, Dami?”

“Thank you for everything you do for me. I love you". Damian said as they snuggled closer to Dick and he fell asleep like a kitten. 

Dick took a deep breath to hold back his tears. 

Notes:

English is not my first language, so tell me if there are any mistakes.

I'm the type of author who enjoys reading comments, so please comment.